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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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12329079 No.12329079 [Reply] [Original]

Welcome anon, to my comfy kit/ck/hen today I demonstrate a timeless family tradition, Monster Bread

>> No.12329085
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12329085

>>12329079
put me in the inevitable screen cap

>> No.12329087
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12329087

Begin by cracking open a delicious Monster(tm) original. Pour out enough for a bread and drink the rest.

>> No.12329092
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12329092

Mix in yeast, sugar, and some flour to make a starter, which we whisk vigorously

>> No.12329094
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12329094

Looking good, allow yeasties to procreate

>> No.12329097

This is what Americans think soda bread is I guess.

>> No.12329100

>>12329094
>yeasties

>> No.12329102
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12329102

Oops I almost forgot. This is original Monster so keeping with the theme we add a few drops of pure green

>> No.12329105
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12329105

>>12329102
shave your fuckin hands you missing link nigger

>> No.12329107
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12329107

Much better. Now add some margarine and whisk it in as well, also adding 1/3 cup of sugar and 1/2 tsp salt to boogey down to flavortown

>> No.12329111

I hope this is going to be good

>> No.12329114
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12329114

>>12329105
Shut up faggot

Now my own twist to the recipe, crushed Oreos and Hershey’s chocolate chips, masterworks in their own right, but even better combined.

>> No.12329122
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12329122

Looks like a Michelin Star dessert already

>> No.12329129
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12329129

Flour. In.

>> No.12329132
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12329132

The dough is coming together now, excellent so far

>> No.12329137

>>12329132
This Looks horrible

>> No.12329139
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12329139

Knead the dough like you’re massaging a beautiful lady. You should end up with what resembles a fine and gorgeous slab of green marble streaked with luscious chocolatey goodness

>> No.12329143

>>12329132
Looks Bad Joe

>> No.12329147
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12329147

>>12329137
>>12329143
Guys don’t knock it till you try it it’s delicious I promise

Ok now after having let the dough rise in a warm place for 20 minutes it should look like this

>> No.12329152
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12329152

>>12329139
>>12329147
>that dough
absolutely heretical

>> No.12329155
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12329155

Deflate the dough, then divide into 3. One strand of dough for each line in the Monster logo. That’s poetry anon. We braid it after that.

>> No.12329166
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12329166

Beautiful. Let rise again, until it becomes airy and soft and ready to bake.

>> No.12329171

>>12329155
Looks like some mean logs of shit with undigested strands of some leafy green vegetable

>> No.12329173
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12329173

>>12329122
>>12329129
>>12329147
>its fucking boomer green

>> No.12329175
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12329175

its better than another soy thread i guess

>> No.12329176

>>12329166
>challah
JEWS DID THIS

>> No.12329177
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12329177

What an absolute unit

>>12329171
If your shits look like my dough go see a doctor anon

>> No.12329179

>>12329166

are you cooking that bread in the butter paper? If so mad respect.

>> No.12329190
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12329190

>>12329173
>boomer green
Intended
>>12329176
I used to work under a Jew it sucked balls I wont ever do their bidding again

Now finally preheat your oven, and drizzle the bread generously with cream or condensed milk.

With this final drizzle I express my innermost feelings and convey them into this bread. Now it’s more than just a loaf, it’s a work of art

>> No.12329189
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12329189

>>12329177
Fucking unit m9 can't wait to see how it comes out

>> No.12329193 [DELETED] 

>>12329177
I dont even have a frogface for this

>> No.12329196

>>12329190
Now, name it

>> No.12329197

>>12329190
>off color cum on moldy shit log
wa la

>> No.12329202

>>12329190
Post cross section

>> No.12329206
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12329206

>>12329179
>butter
No it’s margarine but yeah I’m baking the bread on the paper since the margarine keeps things from sticking.

>>12329189
Ok stick around for 30 minutes my oven is still preheating

>> No.12329208
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12329208

>>12329166
CHALLAH hell yeah! include me in the screen my fellow Jew!

>> No.12329213

>>12329206
put some sesame seeds on top

>> No.12329215

>>12329208
Don’t hija/ck/ my thread Israel I don’t want my creation contaminated with /pol/

>>12329197
Yea you wait it’ll look gorgeous out the oven

>>12329196
Words cannot describe

>>12329202
Will do

>> No.12329218

This makes me actually uncomfortable.

>> No.12329220
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12329220

>>12329213
Don’t ever think that OP won’t deliver

>> No.12329222

>>12329079
>soda bread
Kek

>> No.12329225

>>12329220
who the fuck has sesame seeds laying around the house?

>> No.12329228

>>12329220
Finally some good fucking food

>> No.12329238
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12329238

>>12329225
Well today you find out that I keep sesame seeds

Alright.
>Oven’s ready
>There’s vomit on his sweater already
>Mom’s spaghetti
>The Jew bread is in the oven

>> No.12329240

>>12329225

Do you not?

>> No.12329242

>>12329240
Do YOU?

>> No.12329252

>>12329242

Yes, I use them all the time. Last time I used them was to sprinkle on top of salmon fillets before they finished cooking.

>> No.12329255

>>12329220
nice. sweet and savory
>>12329225
let's play spot the amerilard

>> No.12329256

>>12329238
>the sun sets over a broken world

>> No.12329258
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12329258

>>12329228
You know I’m hard right now thinking about this magnificent creation

>> No.12329264

Anyone got the nyquil food screencaps I remember chicken and hotdogs but I can't find them

>> No.12329274
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12329274

OP here. Just for the record I’ve made this type of bread before just using shitty ingredients that burned. This time it’ll work

>> No.12329281
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12329281

>>12329225
>not having Asian seed

>> No.12329284

>>12329281
I don't cook Asian meals

>> No.12329285

>>12329177
Actually doesn't look that bad... What is the world coming to?!

>> No.12329286

>>12329274
Eh, I'd still eat

>>12329281
WHY THE FUCK DID IT TURN?!? I MADE SURE IT WAS THE RIGHT SIDE!!!

>> No.12329289

https://youtu.be/bntfUA6TmLs

>> No.12329291

>>12329281
Black sesames are kinda bitter. I like white, I’d add like 1/4 black just to make it look interesting I suppose

>> No.12329293

>>12329284
Fair enough

>> No.12329297

>>12329291
1/4 black just to remind yourself of how good the whites are.

>> No.12329302
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12329302

>>12329256
Reminds me of a mirage over a post-apocalyptic landscape, very /lit/ material. Also browning nicely, about 5 minutes left

>> No.12329320
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12329320

Bread /out/

>> No.12329327
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12329327

>>12329302
>insert some Dune related description of sand

>> No.12329330

>>12329320
The green makes me think you are a soulless ginger

>> No.12329336
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12329336

>>12329320
ITS FUCKING OOZING GREEN

>> No.12329343
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12329343

>>12329330
>>12329336
I’ve been saying the whole time the green is intended, no other color except for red is so visually appealing in food.

Ok rest for 10 minutes

>> No.12329348

>>12329343
I know, it's just comical

>> No.12329359

>>12329343
CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT

>> No.12329365
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12329365

Boom. Crumbshot.
Ok now to decide what to have with my bread as a midnight sna/ck/. Thanks for being here with me on this special night anons.

>> No.12329369
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12329369

>>12329365
Fuck yes OP delivered

>> No.12329373
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12329373

>>12329359
Check em

>> No.12329379

Do you eat her cooking even after you hear her speak? Are the milkies powerful enough for it all to be overlooked?
https://youtu.be/IwIwTdBOJvk

>> No.12329385

>>12329365
It looks like it's fucking mouldy.

>> No.12329391

>>12329373
How does it taste? Look decent btw

>> No.12329397
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12329397

How do I even begin to describe this bread. Delicious, sweet, crisp yet very moist and fluffy. Excellent mouthfeel. I am satisfied

>> No.12329403

>>12329397
>Excellent mouthfeel. I am satisfied
doubt.jpg

>> No.12329405

>>12329397
I am very high. This looks perfect.

>> No.12329407

>>12329397
did the sesame seeds help?

>> No.12329411

>>12329397
Did you add additional drops of green? Why isn’t it mixed in?

>> No.12329413
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12329413

>>12329397
>mouthfeel

>> No.12329415
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12329415

>>12329403
Yea it’s like a dinner roll, but real soft and pulls apart magnificently
>>12329405
Wish I could share
>>12329407
Yea they helped. Great addition to the texture thanks for suggesting it

Fuck why does my photo auto-rotate

>> No.12329418

>>12329147
>he actually eats this and isn't just shitposting
What the fuck

>> No.12329421

>>12329411
It’s the green Monster syrup though I didn’t make it with Monster this time just icing sugar and green color. Didn’t want to open another can. If I did I’d have to drink now and can’t sleep, or tomorrow it’ll be flat and inedible.

>> No.12329642

>>12329415
OP, we need an update. Did it give you diarrhea?