turkey club hate

[Anonymous No.13272691]

>be me
>going out to eat with fiance yesterday
>we search the menu to find something normal with no ingredients that make me choke
>settle on the "turkey club" even though i never had it before
>it arrives
>"wow anon look at how big it is, that's a great value!"
>just smile silently and nod thinking how smart i am to order it
>go to eat it
>see pic related (not mine but same idea)
>a fucking third slice of bread in the middle
>realize it's literally 60% bread
>heart sinks
>i barely muster the strength to eat
>we go straight home instead of the shoe store
>i do some math in my head without a calculator
>realize i just paid $6 entirely for bread
>that's $2 per fucking slice
>could've bought 3 entire loaves of bread for that
>suddenly remember the deli had a vaguely jewish name like "zeetzi's" or something
>start tearing up with rage
>vision is blurred from tears
>start beating up the furniture
>all the while i'm repeatedly shouting "FATHER FREDDY" at the top of my lungs for some reason
>don't even know why but it just popped in my head
>couldn't stop saying it despite not even having seen him since 2nd grade when he left for another parish
>fiance starts yelling something behind me
>i only calm down enough to regain control of my smashing hands when she lets me have one of the switch games i asked for christmas early

(continued below)

[Anonymous No.13272693]

(continued)

>go to play it
>she locks herself in the bathroom to bitch to her annoying mother on the phone for an hour like she does every other fucking day
>try not to worry about it and focus on my game
>it's actually full of bullshit artificial hardness and i start getting mad again because i keep dying and don't know where to go
>plus still thinking about being ripped off by the fucking turkey club
>hear a cracking noise
>realize i'm twisting the controller so tightly it's starting to break
>try to do what the therapist my fiance made me see taught me and channel my anger
>sort of works until i remember i'm going to have one less christmas present because of this ordeal all caused because of the fucking turkey club
Don't make my mistake bros. Never order a turkey club. Turkey club and other bullshit rip off food hate thread I guess.

[Anonymous No.13272712]

>>13272691
come back when you have something that isnt so retarded and gay to post, btw pic related is what I eat for breakfast, so I'm a pretty tough guy and this post is so dumb

[Anonymous No.13272715]

Definitely not reading a word of that shit but I love turkey clubs

[Anonymous No.13272721]

>>13272712
>>13272693
i thought it was really good

[Anonymous No.13272722]

>>13272715
this, fuck OP, fuck him up his stupid ass

Turkey clubs fucking rule

[Anonymous No.13272725]

>>13272691
That's like most club sandwiches.

[Anonymous No.13272727]

>>13272721
are you OP? because if not you really should check out this website, its perfect for people like you
www.reddit.com

[Anonymous No.13272743]

>>13272691
>she lets me have one of the switch games i asked for.
I wasted a minute of my time for this?
Too bad you didn't choke on that sandwich, sperg.

[Anonymous No.13272762]

>>13272691
>>13272693
>>>/r9k/
Club sandwiches are based, and you need to stop making up first-person stories about manchildren.

[Anonymous No.13272775]

>>13272691
do you even know what a club sandwich is?

[Anonymous No.13273358]

>>13272691
This sounds like an autism story but I know someone who's just like this and has a long term girlfriend. She's fat and ugly but it technically counts.

[Anonymous No.13273472]

>>13272715
>>13272722
This. I skimmed it and it was painful. OP is the pickiest eater anywhere.

[Anonymous No.13274189]

>>13273358
Why is the world like this?

[Anonymous No.13274237]

Being disappointed by food is the worst OP but you just sound like an autistic faggot

[Anonymous No.13274252]

Good riddance; We don't need you in the club.

[Anonymous No.13274324]

>>13272691
>>13272693
So this is the famed Jewish humor I've heard so much of.

[Anonymous No.13274326]

literally 6$ for bread

[Anonymous No.13274339]

A club sandwich is a fine club to be part of, you just need to go to an eatery that makes them nice.

[Anonymous No.13274443]

>>13274339
When they make them too thick like that you end up squishing down on the sandwich just to take a bite and the filling tends to slide out the back.

[Anonymous No.13274452]

>>13272712
They make a goodass stoneground mustard too

[Anonymous No.13274454]

>>13274237
This...if it doesn’t give you diarrhea why even complain.

[Anonymous No.13274458]

>>13274443
I don't mind getting a little messy in the club, might have to lick the mayo off my fingers but it's fine.

Also gotta bite properly, gotta take big boy bites so it doesn't get too much of a chance to go all over the place.

[Anonymous No.13274485]

>>13272691

damn now I want a Club Sandwich and I want to smash OP in the face as hard as I can

[Anonymous No.13274526]

>>13274189
>be me
>aforementioned guy and his gf at my house
>he wants to go get a haircut
>she says she'll take him and then go to walmart
>i need stuff from walmart, ask if I can get a ride
>yeah whatever
>drop him off at the barber
>he comes out and says it'll be a 45 minute wait
>tell him to come to walmart because it's not gonna take that long, go on the way back
>he decides to wait
>go to walmart
>find my shit
>she gets her shit
>we go to the garden area because it's like another 30 minutes before he'll even sit down for his haircut
>buy some cool plants
>go back to her car to smoke pot
>her phone rings
>she answers on car speaker so I hear
>her bf yelling about the haircut place, incoherently mad
>she calms him down
>realize the problem
>he's upset because people are walking into the store and being seen right away and he's been waiting
>she tries to explain that these people were smart and went somewhere else during their wait and showed up when they were ready for them
>he's too fucking stupid to comprehend this
>apparently got kicked out of the store entirely but won't say why
>we pick him up and he's just sitting at a random bus stop

dude was retarded. one day i got sick of him so i fucked his gf, texted him that i fucked his gf, and then blocked both their numbers.

[Anonymous No.13274532]

>>13272691
>>"wow anon look at how big it is, that's a great value!"
America.jpeg

[Anonymous No.13274674]

>>13272691
>>13272693
Things that never happened.

[Anonymous No.13274708]

>>13274485
What size mouth do you have to fit that monstrosity inside?

[Anonymous No.13274721]

>>13274708
Just unhinge your jaw, bro.

[Anonymous No.13274767]

>>13272691
For me, it's the zaxby's chicken club.

[Anonymous No.13274774]

>>13274767
That's a chicken BLT, nigger. You got cheated.

[Anonymous No.13274815]

>>13274774
I didn't get cheated because I knew what it was when I ordered it. Also, pic related, get fucked.

[Anonymous No.13274819]

>>13274526

[Anonymous No.13274827]

>>13274815
Thank you google. Google...the same people who think a rumble strip is a crosswalk.

[Anonymous No.13274853]

>>13274827
>the same people who think a rumble strip is a crosswalk.
I'll concede that point because this was the captcha I had to solve to post that. However a chicken club is a thing, and if we're being autistic it would be a chicken BLT+Cheese&Mayo.

[Anonymous No.13274865]

>>13272715
>I love turkey clubs

Same here.

[Anonymous No.13274878]

>>13274853
You don't put mayo on your blt?

[Anonymous No.13274888]

>>13274878

I prefer mustard on a blt. Mayo is rather boring.

[Anonymous No.13274898]

>>13274888
The default for a blt is still mayo.

[Anonymous No.13274904]

>>13274526
You seem to lack the vocabulary to explain that the other people had made a booking, which I find just as troubling.

[Anonymous No.13274953]

>>13274878
Of course I do, I'm just being autistic about the nomenclature like you.

[Anonymous No.13275003]

>>13274674
Wow how'd you figure that out, detective?

[Anonymous No.13275222]

>>13275003
I backtraced.

[Anonymous No.13275586]

>>13274898

Yeah. On those occasions when I order one at a restaurant, I always specify to use mustard instead of mayo.

[Anonymous No.13275615]

>>13275586
I never thought about getting a blt at a restaurant. It feels too simple like going out for a boloney sandwich.

[Anonymous No.13275647]

>>13275615

That's why I rarely get one at a restaurant. I can cook one at home that is at least as good as any I've eaten at a restaurant.

However, it is easy enough to make that at some restaurants, it may be the most edible thing there.

[Anonymous No.13275655]

>>13272712
>wasabi
>horseradish
pick one

[Anonymous No.13275662]

>>13272691
>ingredients that make me choke

[Anonymous No.13275668]

op is a faggot. I hope his mom walks in on his dangling corpse.

[Anonymous No.13275671]

>>13275655
All wasabi is horseradish but not all horseradish is wasabi.

[Anonymous No.13275674]

>>13275647
I know when I was in my teens I wasn't sure what was good so I frequently defaulted to a club sandwich at sit-downs.

[Anonymous No.13275677]

>>13272693
Looks like your wife was talking to Tyronne

[Anonymous No.13275690]

>>13275671
Horseradish is Armoracia rusticana.
Wasabi is Eutrema wasabi
They are separate species.

[Anonymous No.13275714]

>>13275690
Yes. And it's still a species of horseradish, dipshit.

[Anonymous No.13275731]

>>13275714
No. You can't be separate species and still apart of the same species. That's not how it works.

They are both apart of the mustard family though.

[Anonymous No.13275734]

>>13275731
>You can't be separate species and still apart of the same species
You can literally go back to the wikipedia page where you looked up the species name and it'll say "Wasabi, or JAPANESE HORSERADISH..." Stop being such a retarded fucking mongoloid and doubling down on your ignorance.

[Anonymous No.13275749]

>>13275734
Japanese horseradish is not a scientific name. It is a colloquial name. That doesn't mean wasabi is horseradish because someone calls it Japanese horseradish.

[Anonymous No.13275781]

>>13275690
Are you the same autist that was arguing about BLT's?

[Anonymous No.13275785]

>>13275734
>your mom is related to the humpbacks and belugas
ok pal

[Anonymous No.13275787]

>>13275781
Arguing what about BLT's?

[Anonymous No.13275814]

>>13275787
Nevermind, if you were you would know.

[Anonymous No.13275816]

>>13275749
By that logic, it doesn't mean it's not horseradish because you're refusing to acknowledge facts. /thread

[Anonymous No.13275827]

>>13272691
>i only calm down enough to regain control of my smashing hands when she lets me have one of the switch games i asked for christmas early
>>13272693
>it's actually full of bullshit artificial hardness and i start getting mad again because i keep dying and don't know where to go
Did you think you were safe here, nintendie?

[Anonymous No.13275850]

>>13275816
They are only calling it Japanese horseradish because of some perceived similarity to horseradish not because wasabi is horseradish.

[Anonymous No.13275858]

>>13275850
lmao you're so fucking dumb

[Anonymous No.13275965]

>>13272691
The extra bread in the middle is what makes it a 'club'. They were traditionally served at country clubs as an appetizer, the extra slice made eating the quarter of the sandwich easier and a little more filling, as there was usually no main course during social events.