/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.13914815]

ITT: Greentext something from your last trip to a grocery store

[Anonymous No.13914826]

>>13914815
>went to get cream cheese to make a passion fruit cheesecake for Easter
>there was no cream cheese at the store
>no spinach for my Pascualina, either

[Anonymous No.13914847]

>>13914815
>go to the grocery to store to pick up some ingredients since i was going to cook a lasagna for my hot albanian date
>i zigzag through the isles grabbing all of the ingredients to avoid the jester
>as i get within 10 feet within the cashier i slip and slide on the floor right into a table with samples of glue

the damned jester noticed me and pissed in front of the cashiers station

[Anonymous No.13914862]

>grocery store changed it's layout for the corona crisis
>only 1 serpentine path across the whole store
>have to wait behind every fucking boomer who can't decide what kind of ketchup he wants
>everyone gets upset if I pass by them instead of waiting

[Anonymous No.13914869]

>go into walmart
>buy queso fresco, tostadas, and chipotle chiles in adobo
>pay at self-checkout
>leave

[Anonymous No.13914871]

>>13914815
>out getting my daily two cans of sardines because of commie-rationing
>armed grocery guards are patrolling the three-block line up to enter the store
>lardo social distancing warrior standing 2 metres in front of me loudly tries to virtue signal whenever a grocery guard comes by
>"I am SOO thankful for you guys helping #flattenthecurve!"
>next time the grocery guards come by, I point at her and yell:
>"OFFICER, THIS WOMAN STOOD WITHIN 2 METRES OF ME!"
>grocery guard bruiser shoulder tackles her to the pavement
>bottles of hand-sanitizer spill out of her purse
>"SHE'S HOARDING HAND-SANITIZER! GET HER!"
>line up turns into a mob riot as everyone scrambles to steal this social distancing warrior's bottles of home-brewed hand sanitizer
>I sneak to the front of the line and past the grocery guards
>grab my two cans of sardines
>head through self checkout to pay for my purchase
>set down my cans in the bagging area as I pull out my wallet and pay for them
>pull my card out of the reader, it's covered in black ink
>I go to retrieve my cans
>the entire bagging area is covered in a puddle of superglue
>receipt dispenser whirs before ejecting a fifteen mile long wad of coupons straight into my groin
GROCERY JESTEEEEEEEERRRR!!!

[Anonymous No.13914888]

>spend too long deciding what flavor of Pringles to buy
>jester pulls down my pants
>I can hear everyone's muffled laughs through their masks.
Well at least I have a REAL reason not to go to the store now

[Anonymous No.13914896]

>5 meter aisle
>"Sir can you please move your cart?"
>It's a boomer
>I tell him there's plenty of space
>He fears walking in front of me will get him corona
>Mfw I have no face

[Anonymous No.13914921]

>be me
>99% sure I've had the kung flu for the last 2 months
>run out of food
>get package of medical masks from mom couple days ago because I'm trying to not infect others like a good boy
>put on mask, go to store
>get stuff to make chicken quesadillas which I may or may not post tomorrow
>see some kind of brown 10/10 hottie with great ass, wearing skin tight pink yoga pants, 10/10 plump ass, begging to be fucked
>leftphoneincarsorrybros.gif
>sneak as many glances of her big, firm ass as I can as I walk around
>as I'm looking for cheese for the quesadillas, she walks right in front of me, less than a foot away, sneak one last look at that great ass, then walk away before everyone realizes I'm a pervert
>later, at home, jerk off thinking about raping her in the ass, then post about it on /ck/

[Anonymous No.13915094]

>get the evil eye from every old lady because I'm not wearing a mask

[Anonymous No.13915125]

>go to iga
>get my food
>come home
>get digits

[Anonymous No.13915136]

>>13914815
>Stand in line for over an hour to get inside
>Finally my turn
>Went out of my way to go to the supermarket least affected by shortages
>Shop for ten minutes
>Annoying cunt voice says loudly we ask our costumers to please pick their groceries as fast as possible and head to the line to pay as there are people waiting to come in
>Fuck you, I waited an hour
>5 minutes later
>We ask our costumers to please pick their groceries as fast as possible then head to the line as there are people waiting to come in
>Fuck you, I waited an hour, you have to do the fucking same you fucking cunt
>3 minutes later
>We ask our costumers to please pick their groceries as fast as possible and head to the line as there are people waiting to come inside
>Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you, i waited an hour and now I'm going to take my fucking time and make sure I have fucking everything on my list and my favourite brands and I'm going to see if anything else picks my interest because I waited in line and now I get to do wathever the fuck I want
And she kept saying the same thing over and over again and I can picture fucking Karen outraged she gets the same treatment as anyone else forcing 3 fucking employees to not work and hear her yelling because she run out of wine and they should let her inside regardless of the line and the pandemic rules while a fourth employee keeps repeating the message to appease her
Also special mention to personal shoppers who spent half an hour inside the store making a phonecall each time they couldn't find something in a store that delivers your grocery's to your home for fucking free
Also fuck the police officer who stopped me while I was carrying 3 massive bags full of groceries to check my information because there where some Mexicans who got caught breeching quarantine nearby

[Anonymous No.13915142]

>>13914862
>Two sides to the vegetable aisle
>One is blocked by booked
>Other side blocked by boomers cart
One of these days I'm grabbing the cart and taking it away

[Anonymous No.13915183]

>>13915136
Saw a Persian woman who was repeatedly pretending she couldn't speak English every time she tried cutting in the extremely long checkout lines.
>"That man say I can be here."
>"I am in hurry, I can't wait in line!"
>"I need to go first! I have children!"
Fuck, this arcane restrictive bullshit is one thing, but jesus christ, lady, we're all dealing with it.
>me with my flat of smoked oysters, jar of olives, and bag of beef jerky

[Ponut No.13915209]

>go in store
>collect and buy food
>leave store

Man, what an adventure.

[Anonymous No.13915220]

>go in store
>collect and buy food
>leave store

Man, what an adventure.

[Anonymous No.13915224]

>>13915209
>>13915220
He said it twice, so it must be important!

[Anonymous No.13915228]

>>13915220
>t. grocery jester union advocate

[Anonymous No.13915235]

>>13915228
I fucking knew the International Brotherhood of Grocery Jesters shills here.

[Anonymous No.13915257]

>>13914815
>land is on lockdown
>you're not supposed to go outside unless you have to and are not allowed to group together
>weather is really sunny
>it's fucking crowded in the streets
>people leisurely talking with each other
>it's lunch time and there's a fucking line to get in which I've never seen before
>inside it's full of people that are durdling around in the middle of aisles
>really quickly grab what I need and decide to get through Easter on stock instead of buying new stuff
>go back home
>line for a fish stall is so long that the entire street is blocked off as I can't get by unless I walk through the corona zone
>instead am forced to take another route

[Anonymous No.13915293]

I stocked up on non perishables before the panic happened. So when I go now, I only get a few things to limit my exposure. Last time I went was a couple weeks ago. Just got green onions and milk. Forgot to get chocolate because I wanted to make cookies.

[Anonymous No.13915300]

>>13915125
mediocre

[that's good No.13915332]

>>13914847
In what world do you exist?

[Anonymous No.13915336]

>>13915332
Jester world

[Anonymous No.13915340]

>>13914815
>Live walking distance away from a neighborhood Walmart
>Go there almost everyday
>Have a craving for the Oreo Chocolate Mousse that they sell
>Go to deseert section
>there's only one Oreo Mousee left
>me and old lady eye it and go for it at the same time
>Tell her that she can have have it
>"Thanks baby" she then grabs it and jets off

I should've suplexed that old bitch in retrospect

[Anonymous No.13915343]

>>13915332
Doth thine emporium of ye greenegrocerie not permit a jester? Forsooth!

[that's good No.13915345]

>Go into store
>Bread is 50%
>Soem Veggies are 50%

woow

[Anonymous No.13915369]

>>13915125
almost

[Anonymous No.13915390]

Shopping cart people moving very slow. God forbid another cart gets too close so both have to stop blocking the aisle. Gloved hands touching everything

[Anonymous No.13915395]

Pork and chicken at 82 cents per pound, beef at 96 today. A full turkey was .77 last week. Deep freezer is full

[Anonymous No.13915408]

>>13915340
Protip: Next time this happens grab it and say "You should be thankful I'm taking this, at your age this crap is gonna kill you dead."

[Anonymous No.13915411]

>>13915136
Are they doing this in some places? I know some stores have the first hour for old people only

[Anonymous No.13915419]

>>13915257
As a burgerboy I love my freedom and dont wanna lose it. But holy fuck I want some martial law shit to happen for people that break lock down.

[Anonymous No.13915424]

>>13914815
Bought the last pack of roquefort cheese
I was pissed and I want more desu

[Anonymous No.13916157]

>>13914847
That jesters a clever bitch

[Anonymous No.13916184]

>store now requires that everyone use a cart because apparently that makes it more sanitary somehow (what?)
>some dude with a neck tattoo hands you one of the plastic coins to plug into the cart to release it
>he also takes the coins back when you leave
>now everyone is trading the same grubby and infected coins back and forth all day
>and you also have to touch the carts which you have to disinfect yourself if you want to, but the sanitary wipe dispenser is empty
>they got rid of the baskets because that is apparently unsanitary
why is it that big companies always end up expending extra effort to implement all the wrong measures in the worst possible ways?

[Anonymous No.13916242]

>Go to the tinned aisle
>See one of my favourite comfy foods- All day breakfast in a can (Pic attached)
>There's a woman stood in front of them
>She sees that I want them, and there was only TWO left in the entire store
>She looks at me, looks at the tins, looks at me, and HASTILY puts BOTH in her trolley
>I ask her if we can have one each
>"NO I NEED THESE FOR MY KIDS"
>She hurries off to the pizza aisle
>I end up with some Heinz beans and sausage, but it's not the same

Flippin' heck lads

[Anonymous No.13916286]

>>13915411
>work night shift
>always like to collect groceries on my way home from work when things are quiet
>grocery store normally opens at 8 so I'm generally there a little bit before it opens
>grocery store creates a fucking seniors hour from 7 to 8
>now the grocery store is crowded at 8
Really hope this chinese virus panic ends soon.

[Anonymous No.13916395]

>>13916184
One of the stores I go to does this better. They removed baskets and an employee wipes down the carts for you as you come in. No coin release systems here. I think the idea is that with carts people won't breathe on each other's necks in the checkout line. I'm getting so sick of this shit.

>>13915257
The other day I saw more close clusters of people "exercising" in packs than I have ever seen in my life. These must be all the extroverts who are about to have mental breakdowns.

[Anonymous No.13916439]

>>13914815
>waited in line for 3 hours to do a total of 30 minutes of shopping in 4 different stores. Most of the stores are now fully stocked again, but have rationing.

I now have enough food to do me another 2 weeks without having to go to the stores again except for milk and bread. Hopefully the social distancing measures will be gone by then.

[Anonymous No.13916440]

>go to market with dad to man a second cart because his is just water tanks he's filling up
>have to wait 30 minutes outside because store only lets a certain number of people in
>qt pajeeta in front of me is wearing yoga pants that 100% show off her phat ass
>spend the whole half hour in line staring at it through sunglasses
>immediately jerk off upon getting home

[Anonymous No.13916452]

>>13914862
USA retarded

[Anonymous No.13916472]

>go to the supermarket deli because I can't be fucked cooking
>been getting into soft cheeses
>everything that looks really good is just under $20 and I'm watching how much I spend at the moment
>don't have any delice de Bourgogne either, which is my favourite
>just get a slice of old reliable comte and some gypsy ham, marinated olives and a small salami
Not interesting, but you asked for it.

[Anonymous No.13916480]

>>13916440
based coomer

[Anonymous No.13916491]

>>13914921
Must take pic
>>13916440
Pics

[Anonymous No.13916492]

Haven't been out since March 9.

Will people judge me for having unfiltered exhalation valves on my mask? That's all I have.

[Anonymous No.13916495]

>>13914815
>grocery store switched entirely to self-checkout due to corona
>demented czech geriatrics form endless lines as none of them are able to use a touchscreen, which is further aggravated by the mandatory 2 meter spacing
>it takes half an hour to purchase a fucking bottle of beer

[Anonymous No.13916526]

>go to grocery store
>parking lot full
>crazy line
>go home

Still haven't gone in. Have plenty of dry spices, multivitamins, grains and freezer meat. Running low though and the lack of produce is hell.

I honestly wish they'd just nationalize the grocery stores and have some national guard fucks hand out ration boxes at the front. The stories I hear about grocery stores is insanely stupid.

[Anonymous No.13916535]

I wore my respirator this time
I thought there was something like 10 million infected in the US
Probably looked dumb but everybody was wearing masks

[Anonymous No.13916549]

>>13914921
Pics, or it didn't happen.

[Anonymous No.13916558]

>>13915136
>costumers
Were you in a grocery store, or a theatre supplies store?

[Anonymous No.13916568]

>work in grocery store
>for some reason shopper limit was relaxed
>now almost double the number of people in the store
>have to navigate a maze of shopping carts and oblivious customers staring into the freezers
>people reach over me while I'm working
>at least we have snacks and the cafe to ourselves

[Anonymous No.13916571]

>>13916535
"Only" 550K US infections atm.

[Chevron No.13916573]

:(

[Anonymous No.13916604]

>>13916571
Not even worth discussing numbers anymore. Without a random sample of the population, you only know a small portion who were wuss enough to ask for a test.

[Anonymous No.13916639]

hihi haha *COOF* *COOF* haha *coof* *wheeze* ha. sorry all these funny stories must have aggravated my asthma.

[Anonymous No.13916700]

>>13915419
Hi bootlicker, I promote the spread of corona so we can remove boomers like you

[Anonymous No.13916723]

>>13915332
it's a dumb meme from /tv/

[Anonymous No.13916741]

>older retarded white woman giving me dirty looks because I forgot to keep 2m apart
>she's being way too vigilant and fucking staring everyone down

exactly the kind of bitch that probably calls the police on her neighbours because they had to leave their house more than once in a day. this lockdown has been an NPC litmus test, I hate these overzealous faggots, most of them are white women

[Anonymous No.13916759]

>>13914815
>be me
>everyone supposed to be social distancing and un-neccessary stores closed
>go to the shopping centre which is a bit small but still a decent size
>the fucking shitty mobile phone repair/chinkshit store is still open
>a coffee/arab sweets store is open with a line
>the newsagency is open with people trying to buy lottery tickets
>the grocery store is fucking packed, people not keeping distance, idiots who take forever to move on, employees getting in my damn way
>STILL NO GODDAMN FUCKING TOILET PAPER
>get my two weeks of shit
>fuck off home
>probably didn't get corona chan

[Anonymous No.13916760]

>>13915136
>in a store that delivers your grocery's to your home for fucking free
I don't know where you live but where I live I can't get groceries delivered cause it's all backed up for days. It doesn't matter how early I login, all the delivery spots get taken as soon as stores open for delivery.

[Anonymous No.13916762]

>be doppelganger
>decide to be me instead of someone else
>need to go to walmart for bulk dry goods
>its a 30 minute drive because fuck new jersey and its retarded roads (also pennsylvania)
>get there
>get turned away because I don't have a mask
>chuckle to myself at this catch 22, as its impossible to get a mask before july on amazon
>call parents
>they next day ship me an n95 respirator
>we have some because my dad and I took down some popcorn ceiling in our new house
>apparently people loved asbestos so much back in the day they used it for popcorn ceiling
>tfw I get to mask mog everyone at the store when I go back
>>13916571
there's WAY more. the response here in burger land has been laughable because there's no public health care and because the government is headed by an orange retard who is amazed that a virus is resisting treatment with antibiotics

[Chevron No.13916773]

>I forgot greentext fuck it were all going die anyway

[Anonymous No.13916878]

>>13916773
>Dying because you're a fatty or a lunglet
Once corona-chan has run her course I expect the number of fatties and boomers to have gone down significantly.

[Anonymous No.13916897]

>make pickup order for fit guy's month worth of a couple produce items because they're cheap on store's instacart site
>they don't have that much and cancel the order

I'm going to look like a hoarder tomorrow when I buy just my regular amount of frozen Brassicas and post-holiday discounted bananas

[Anonymous No.13916982]

>go to store with boomer father
>hes very stubborn
>we have no masks, get hate stares everywhere
>he stops in the middle of the entranceway, choosing between a cart and basket
>changes his mind twice
>he understands the social distancing, refuses to take part
>walks right up to the deli counter, ignoring the "stand here" signs
>constantly walks past people in aisles
>takes almost 10 minutes to operates the self checkout, deapite only having maybe 10 items

extremely based, i love my dad

[Anonymous No.13916991]

>>13916982
>Constantly walks past people in aisles
What else are you supposed to do, wait for them to move?

[Anonymous No.13917066]

Social distancing is a joke.

[Anonymous No.13917078]

>>13916982
Hope he gets rona and dies

Thank God for the 'rona killing so many white Boomer men. Maybe once they are all dead this country can finally get better.

[Anonymous No.13917160]

>>13914815
>went to costco
>get a large item that had to be put on the bottom of the trolley
>go through self checkout
>ask the goy to scan the item
>"ALRIGHT IM GONNA NEED YOU TO STEP THE FUCK BACK. YEAH RIGHT BACK TO THE END PAST THE MACHINES"
>"beep"
>"th-thanks"

[Anonymous No.13917177]

>>13917078
enjoy being swamped by niggers and mexicans you awfully stupid faggot

[Anonymous No.13917248]

>>13917078
>>13917177
The Chinese virus is absolutely decimating the lefty urban centres and dens of ethnic minorities while leaving rural white populations mostly untouched.
We are looking forward to a beautiful future.

[Anonymous No.13917290]

>>13916242
None in my local supermarket but bought 2 at the local corner shop for £2.15 each... at least when the zombies start coming, I'll be ready.

[Anonymous No.13917324]

>>13917177
nogs are dying faster than rookies in the original XCOM
they wont be swamping anything

[Anonymous No.13917369]

>>13916762
How would no public healthcare reduce the infection rate of an influenza?

[Anonymous No.13917376]

Who are you quoting?

[Anonymous No.13917383]

>>13914815
that dude shouldn't be bringing a re-usable bag. there's no way of telling customers are cleaning them after every use so the sensible thing is for all stores to ban them and offer free plastic bags instead (which is what all grocery stores in my area has done).

[Anonymous No.13917467]

>Late.
>Guy working there walks up to me and play 20 questions while I'm waiting behind like 2 people at self checkout.
>Usually I don't tell people what I do for a living becuase it's awkward but he gets into those questions.
>I'll just lie and say I'm neet most of the time but I wasn't thinking.
"I paint stuff on commission."
>Guy presses harder, I think because the idea of freelance work was intriguing.
>Fuck it.
"I draw porn for a living."
>He says it's cool and we chuckle about it.
I don't go to that Wal-Mart anymore even though it's a 3 minute drive versus a 15-20 minute drive of the other one.

[Anonymous No.13917478]

>>13917467
coom

[Anonymous No.13917540]

>>13917478
many professional artists started off by drawing porn
anatomy requires a great deal of practice to get right

[Anonymous No.13917548]

>>13917383
plastic bags cost extra here so I bring in a reusable bag and bag myself

[Anonymous No.13917582]

>no soy sauce, no eggs left
>everything else still available
why those 2?

>>13917383
Doesn't coronachan only last less than a day on bags? Why does it matter if you reuse?
Is this some american bagger nonsense?

[Anonymous No.13917605]

>>13914815
>i work in a grocery store
>woman who looks 15+ years older than she probably is comes in with gloves and a mask
>no big deal, we see it a lot
>she takes her mask off and leans over the plexiglass barrier to talk to me
>spittle flies at my face since she's missing half her teeth
>i politely ask her to step back
>"oh what are you so paranoid for? where's your mask? where's your gloves? huh?"
>ok i guess
>she replaces the mask when shes done talking, covering only her jaw
>"it hurts my nose"
>ask if she'll pay by debit or credit
>i got cash
>ok i guess pt. 2 the remix
>licks her gloved fingers to count through her cash, wiping her nose with the same gloves while doing so
>"i'm sorry, i can't accept cash"
>"why not huh? all money is dirty even the money in your tills"
>"respectfully ma'am you just licked your fingers to count it"
>"get off your high horse little girl you're so paranoid"
>i begrudgingly take the money, wash my hands vigorously afterwards and wish her a healthy day

At this point we may as well just lift the quarantine and let these dumb fucks die off.

[Anonymous No.13917636]

>>13917605
If you arent wearing a mask and gloves as an employee, I have no sympathy for you.

[Anonymous No.13917660]

>>13917636
Boomer boss doesn't allow us to wear masks because it's not a part of our uniform and we're running low on gloves so he asked us to only wear one pair for an entire shift. No thanks.

[Anonymous No.13917701]

>>13917660
Can't you call in sick and sue him for exposing an employee to danger without protection ?

[Anonymous No.13917726]

>>13917605
how are you going to get sick from handling cash if you wash your hands and don't touch your face afterwards? is the virus going to permeate your skin?

[Anonymous No.13917750]

>>13917701
not that person but haven't you seen the news about grocery workers? trader joes and whole foods workers are pushing for a union now more than ever because of how the companies have been handling the virus. at first whole foods was only going to do a paid time off donation drive for those who got the virus or had to be quarantined. that means that the only way you could get paid is if a coworker donated their PTO to you. the public was outraged by that so now the pay has increased by $2/hour and there is said to be paid leave now if you get coronavirus but it's still hard to get the pay since no one can get tested to prove they have it. also employees were not allowed to wear gloves or masks so as not to alarm customers. so calling in sick or trying to sue the employer is pointless because that is happening to everyone who works in grocery. maybe there will be some class action law suit but i'm not litigious so i don't know if there are grounds for that.

t. whole foods employee

[Anonymous No.13917804]

>go to store
>see a long line to even get into the place
>nope the fuck out of there

[Anonymous No.13917814]

>>13917750
really struggling to care for all the low skill frontline workers. you know what you signed up for. people pursue high paying, cushy jobs to avoid this shit.

[Anonymous No.13917848]

They're talking about making it a law here that you must wear a mask to enter a grocery store. When is this extreme gay shit going to end? First they spend two months saying masks don't work, then they make it mandatory to wear one. They spend two months saying don't buy masks so the doctors can have enough, then they say go buy them now that they're out of stock everywhere. So I guess if you can't buy one because it's out of stock everywhere you'll just have to starve.

[Anonymous No.13917860]

You can use a bandana as a face mask. Fuck, even a thin scarf works

[Anonymous No.13917875]

>>13917860
Not if you want to filter coof particulate it won't.

[Anonymous No.13917876]

>>13914815

[Anonymous No.13917889]

I've seen the constant bitching on social media about people not using masks and gloves correctly. My first day out of the house in three weeks and I saw multiple people touching their phones and their faces with gloves on.

>>13916571
More even. There have been people claiming to have gotten sick way before they shut everything down but tested negative for flu. There aren't enough tests so anyone who likely had it but didn't have it bad enough to get a doctor's note or go to the hospital didn't get a test. People were outright told they didnt need to be tested if they could manage it at home. I think there was still a bit after they had evidence of community spread that you still couldn't get a test unless you had left the country or had come into contact with someone who had already tested positive. People who were obviously sick were denied tests even.

>>13917848
As I understood it the masks don't do a good job of keeping you from getting sick but do a better job of keeping you from spreading it to other people. Because there is apparently a large group of people who are asymptomatic or presymptomatic but can still spread it, and all it takes to spread it is breathing, they're encouraging masks to help stop you from possibly getting others sick since they can't test everyone.

[Anonymous No.13917902]

>>13917814
>t. working a braindead data entry job that any 6th grader with the ability to read can do

[Anonymous No.13917912]

>>13917875
>if you can't get 95% effectiveness, there's no point in going for 15% effectiveness
>may as well just go for 0% effectiveness

[Anonymous No.13917963]

>>13914815
>pull up to parking lot
>see the huddled masses with their masks
>chuckle at them as I stroll into the store, countenance uncovered and visage exposed
>cough openly and loudly (smoker, not corona)
>people’s fearful eyes glance at me momentarily but are afraid of eye contact
>subtly put my erect cock into my waistband so I’m not pitching a full tent
>an 8 people tent baby
>grab my onions, potatoes, carrots, bananas, and whatever else I plan on buying for whatever meals I’m going to make
>grab it out of peoples carts if I have to, I’m not leaving this store empty handed
>openly cough on peoples carts if they try to resist me
>I hold all the power here
>buy some meat, bread, cheese, whatever the fuck I feel like because I’m an alpha and social pressures don’t influence me
>go through check out line, stand directly behind other person in line, I’m not getting my place taken
>check out, talk loudly and proudly to the QT cashier
>o brave new world, how you all look at me in fear
>pay, immediately stick my fingers in my mouth after touching the card reader
>walk out the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

[Anonymous No.13917990]

>>13917912
It's not about "% effectiveness", a shirt over your face cannot physically filter coronavirus. The virus is very small and the weave of your shirt fabric has cavernous gaps and holes.

Worse, the increased air pressure of breathing through either restrictive fabric or an improperly fitted facemask means you suck the virus down deeper and make it that much more likely to kill you.

[Anonymous No.13917992]

>>13915419
You should probably consider killing yourself or moving to Europe, you raging homosexual you

[Anonymous No.13918097]

>>13917478
>>13917540
This. My figures have never been more appealing. Plus you become the opposite of a coomer if you draw porn. I can't fap to anything visual now because I either think of work or how something would or wouldn't be neat to to study. Or if it's drawn, everything just looks like shit.

[Anonymous No.13918480]

>>13915142
do it you fag. if someone left their cart in my way i shove it aside.

[Anonymous No.13918497]

>>13916184
they're retards.
>go to faggoty white karen grocery store
>they have a cart wash assembly line going in the parking garage
>they are literally washing shopping carts between people
>all their cashiers and floor workers are shitskins in masks
>pretty sure 3 of them are somali who dont even speak english
>cant get an answer out of them
>the one brought his entire family to work with him, is stocking avocados and his woman and kid are running around nearby

>go to real nigga hours cheapo store
>everything is 1/3 the price of karen store
>no faggoty washing
>use my handbasket as normal
>ask worker if they have any [x], she responds like a human being
>no one is wearing masks

[Anonymous No.13918536]

>virgin maskfag spraying lysol everywhere
vs
>chad "catch it early and gain immunity, moonwalk the rest of lockdown" coofer

[Anonymous No.13918623]

>Go to grocery store yesterday
>Go to the paper aisle to get a box of tissues
>All that's left are the Puffs + lotion, which are gross (I just want plain-ass tissues)
>Pick up a box because any port in a storm
>Later decide to put the box back because I'm not that desperate for tissues
>Go back to the paper aisle to return tissues
>An older woman is the only one in the aisle, milling about near the fragrances
>Go to walk past her to put the box back
>Must've been within 5 foot 11.75 inches of her instead of the "required" 6 feet social distancing
>Upon seeing me, she loudly shouts that I'm in her personal space and need to follow social distancing guidelines
>This absolute shitbag cock-snarfing Karen cunt is making me the next Hitler just because I want to put a box of tissues back on the shelf and need to walk past her for .05 seconds just to do so
>And it might be about fear of possibly getting sick, but it's most likely she's just wanted to be a control freak and exercise power over someone else
>It works, because I am forced by societal pressures to cross over an aisle and go around her
>Just to put back a box of Kleenex
>My intense hatred of humanity flares back on
>This hate festers for the rest of the night, and I'll most likely hate this person for the rest of my life
>Hate myself even more because I let this random-ass nobody have complete power over me because my own fear of what would happen if I didn't do what she said

And yeah, I can see her point of view, because maybe she was just concerned about some random yahoo (me) potentially giving her a disease, but she was more than likely just a terrible person with a control fetish (like most people).

Sometimes, I sincerely wish that the entire world would just all get coronavirus and let fate decide who lives and who dies. I guarantee you that some of the trash would definitely get taken out.

Even if the virus goes away, our race will still suffer the disease of being human. And there's no cure for us.

[Anonymous No.13918625]

>>13918623
>not spitting right in her face
shiggy

[Anonymous No.13918632]

>>13917177
Won't be very many when all the boomer cuckservatives die off and their open borders Republican masters can't get any votes.

[Anonymous No.13918660]

>>13918625

I know, I really should've walked right past her while rubbing my face with my tongue out, just to make sure my face was coated with saliva. But I didn't, and I have to live with that.

Sadly I, like her, am also a weak, spineless human being who is riddled with fear (except of social consequences, not viral consequences).

Years in the service industry have given me a seething hatred of random-ass people telling me what to do. And, even in this coronavirus climate, that hatred can still easily manifest.

I know she was just concerned for her health, but that still doesn't give her the right to treat people like shit.

[Anonymous No.13918690]

>>13918623
lol fag
just tell her to fuck off
what is she going to do? physically restrain you?

[Anonymous No.13918694]

>>13914815
>go to local Kroger
>there's plenty of meat
>tons of bread
>pallets of water
>canned goods are fully stocked
>toilet paper isle's full
>ice cream's completely wiped out, except for the non-dairy shit no one eats

[Anonymous No.13918707]

>go to store closest to me
>get told theres a line I have to stand in before entering
>laugh and leave
>go to some corner store with zero line
I aint standin in no fucking lines

[Anonymous No.13918746]

>>13916762
Seeth more burniefag. Remember, no refunds!

[Anonymous No.13918766]

>>13918660
>>13918690
what did we used to do to insufferable cunts? tar and feather? they have zero consequences now, and thus they exist.

[Anonymous No.13918775]

>>13917605
Its weird to think that these stories could be used as a first hand account of events that happened during corona and may someday be used in historical book for people in the future as first hand witness accounts.

[Anonymous No.13918778]

>>13917814
Hope you starve.

[Anonymous No.13918787]

>>13918694
Based retarded fat americans

[Anonymous No.13918795]

>ask mommy to buy me beer
>she did
i have a pretty cool mom

[Anonymous No.13918800]

>>13917605
Just think, last November grocery store stories would have been full of stories about other people standing too close. Now we get this. Autism is just contrarianism.

[Anonymous No.13918939]

>>13914815
>Picking up groceries for my mother
>Store is out of strawberries
>Bought some fancy Justin's peanut butter cups
>Best peanut butter cups ive ever had
Seriously those fuckers are great. Really made me realize how terrible Reese's chocolate is. Still love the things though

[Anonymous No.13918972]

>>13918795
I hope you get angry and off her and your dad and then find out they left you out of their will.

[Anonymous No.13918994]

>>13918939
Speaking of terrible...that's you.

[Anonymous No.13918997]

>>13918994
Hey man

[Anonymous No.13919001]

>>13915419
>I love my freedom and don't want to lose it, but I hope the government takes away our rights for daring to actually use that freedom

[Anonymous No.13919052]

>>13918497
Good effort at trying to fit in here, but it fell flat man. Please don't ever post on this website ever again.

[Anonymous No.13919059]

>>13918766
And yet weak, cowardly faggots like you are permitted to exist. Odd

[Anonymous No.13919097]

>>13918795
>mom's not being weak again

[Anonymous No.13919177]

>>13918690

I guess I was worried she was going to complain to a manager and get me banned from the store (which I don't want, because I have their discount card and the store is five minutes from my house).

[Anonymous No.13919267]

>>13914815
>work in a high end suburban grocery store in a more or less isolated department.

>don't really leave the department all day, keep distance from customers, listen to podcasts and shoot the shit with coworkers about video games all shift

>get paid 2x + $2 extra due to Easter and corona virus pay differential.

Feels pretty good.

[Anonymous No.13919307]

>>13918694
baed Kroger

[Anonymous No.13919316]

>>13919267
based suburban kid from an upper middle class family

[Anonymous No.13919351]

>>13919316
I'm in my late 20s.

[Anonymous No.13919365]

>>13919351
wow what a life, so jealous. not.

[Anonymous No.13919393]

>>13919365
It doesn't matter to me if you're jealous or not lol. I get paid OK enough for easy work around decent people while I'm going through school. And I get to hook up with an occasional idiot that rolls through. It's decent for now.

[Anonymous No.13919399]

>>13917605
get off your high horse little girl and post tits

[Anonymous No.13919410]

>>13919393
nice blog

[Anonymous No.13919432]

>>13917750
Fuck yes. Unionize for hazard pay and PPE.
Turns out lowly, poorly paid grocery store workers are much more important to society than faggoty office drones. Who knew?

[Anonymous No.13919439]

>>13919410
Thanks dude, hope you had a nice Easter.

[Anonymous No.13919445]

>>13919432
Everybody knows and nothing's really gonna come out of this.

t. also whole farts employee. most people at this company are afraid of losing their jobs, are complacent and more importantly easily replaceable, especially now when so many people don't have a job any more and in the next year after many businesses are forced to shut down. And if you don't think they'd easily fire and replace "union instigators" you are naive. They have Amazon behind them, like what are a few people gonna do?

[Anonymous No.13919464]

>>13919445
I think Amazon employees are going to unionize.

[Anonymous No.13919486]

>>13919464
Doubt it.

[Anonymous No.13919493]

>>13917467
>I don't go to that Wal-Mart anymore
Why not? Seems like a good lad.

[Anonymous No.13919501]

>>13919464
Oh they'll try. And then be singled out, fired for another reason, and then have a smear campaign run against them with instructions to "focus on how stupid and inarticulate he is".
https://www.commondreams.org/news/2020/04/03/leaked-memo-reveals-amazon-execs-plotted-paint-fired-not-smart-worker-face-entire

And in the illustrious words of the US Navy, Amazon must've been too naive or too stupid to think this wouldn't get out.

[Anonymous No.13919510]

>>13919464
No. Amazon is far too Jewish to let that successfully happen, and most Americans have a horrible taste in their mouths in regards to unions, because they abused the system to the point where it meant nothing when they were big, and were literally used as the mafia's piggybank for decades.

Unions killed Detroit, don't let anyone tell you different.

[Anonymous No.13919521]

>go to the grocery store to pick up important medication, painkillers, tea, and dairy
>no less than six expired heifers are chatting with their carts in random directions, blocking two aisles
>realize half the store's occupancy is concentrated in one small area, if we go by mass

[Anonymous No.13919577]

>>13919493
It's weird. Not even my family knows my biggest income comes from porn, and not doing freelance for other things. I scarcely tell people online about it unless they know what that specific alias is.

[Anonymous No.13919627]

>>13919521
stop shopping at poor people grocery stores

[Anonymous No.13919688]

>>13915419
You're a complete piece of shit. You're so mentally enslaved you can't even understand what freedom actually is.

[Anonymous No.13919689]

>walked 1 mile to the store
>went to the store for cherry pie, Texas toast, whipped cream, faygo red pop and beef jerkey
>fumbled everything in my hands because carts and baskets are contaminated
>walked 1 mile back
>nobody was in my 6 foot bubble
I live in the countryside so I don’t really have any issues with tons of people crowding into one store.

[Anonymous No.13919725]

>>13916526
>I honestly wish they'd just nationalize the grocery stores and have some national guard fucks hand out ration boxes at the front

That will come, and the way it will be monitored and enforced will be the end of freedom.

[Anonymous No.13919735]

>>13916573
>super high-res pic
>blurry as fuck

Thanks, faggot.

[Anonymous No.13919744]

>>13916760
And even if you can get an order in, it doesn't guarantee that you will actually get what you ordered. It's exactly like Russia in the 80s.

[Anonymous No.13919749]

>>13915419
Complete fucking retard

[Anonymous No.13919755]

>>13917078
>believes rona is some new thing that is actually killing people

HAHAHAHA opinion discarded.

[Anonymous No.13919760]

>>13917605
This flu will not kill you. It will not do anything to you that a normal flu wouldn't do. You are brainwashed.

[Anonymous No.13919764]

>>13919744
Capitalist breadlines.

[Anonymous No.13919767]

>>13919760
It's literally not a flu. This shit is unfortunately gonna drag on because of mouth-breathers like you.

[Anonymous No.13919797]

>>13916760
Sorry about that bud. But i am finding untold benefits to living in an isolated midwestern town due to the quarantine. Until the mist comes lmao.

[Anonymous No.13919799]

>>13918795
Wow, a WHOLE beer? Party hard!

[Anonymous No.13919813]

>>13919767
It's actually great that you posted a picture of Bill Nye, because he is exactly the type of hack who would say shit like this. You want me to be exact? Infectious respiratory illness, you unbelievable dipshit. There is no difference.

[Anonymous No.13919846]

>walk up to whole foods with reusable bag
>store worker and a literal cop jump out in front of me to say I can't bring that in and must use one of the disgusting hand baskets that some chink is guarding
>whatever, figure just leave bag outside by the door and I'll get it when I leave
>inside see no less than 10 people with reusable bags

I hope Jeff Bezos fires all of you retards and replaces you with coin operated machines.

[Anonymous No.13919851]

>>13919799
Easy to start a party with a tallboy natty light bro.

[Anonymous No.13919903]

>>13914815
>be me
>disgusted by surrounding
>rapist muslim security
>rapist pajeet shelf stocker
>rapist shitskin cashier
tfw tranny jannies ban me from a Samoan basket weaving board for telling a truthful story.

[Anonymous No.13919915]

>>13915411
Here it's for the elderly and immune compromised. But they aren't going to demand proof that your immune system is compromised so nothing's stopping you from going whenever.

[Anonymous No.13919919]

>>13914815

[Anonymous No.13919931]

>>13916759
update, I'm not feeling great. I may have corona-chan.

[Anonymous No.13919933]

>>13917814
Yeah I agree people who aren't quite as bright as me should die lol they deserve it for being born.

[Anonymous No.13919950]

>>13919760
I don't want the flue

[Anonymous No.13919995]

>>13914862
>everyone gets upset if I pass by them instead of waiting

>"Well, the reason I'm not keeping a 1,5m distance is because you've been dimwittedly staring around for the better part of a minute while standing in the middle of a 3m wide aisle, and I don't mind having people who lack the mental capacity to understand how cumbersome that is to others purged from society."

If nothing else, this virus has convinced me that boomers are the societal dead weight we'd historically rely on these kinds of crises to shed.

[Anonymous No.13920000]

>>13919919
why are there naked asian men in the street

[Anonymous No.13920004]

>County has over 10,000 cases of COVID and counting
>Everyone wearing masks
>Except the black people, only one had a mask

[Anonymous No.13920009]

>>13914815
The usual.
>Gloves no mask
>Mask no gloves
>Niggers not covering their noses
>Nigger wearing a fucking dish towel held on his face with string
>Obese dude wearing fashionable military clothing
>Everyone is in a weird hurry
>Still no fucking flour
>All the Large 12ct of eggs are gone
>Cheap Sardines are still there
>Still waiting for the nice olive oil tuna to go on sale so I can grab a bunch
>Forgot Sprouts was closed so I couldn't get my ham
:(

I absolutely fucking hate these god damn niggers (people not blacks) that are just hoarding shit or scalping like a fuckin autist.
God.

[Anonymous No.13920010]

I get so frustrated at people who leave their carts in the aisle/block it that I just leave my cart near the endcap and walk into the aisle and carry it to my cart.

[Anonymous No.13920018]

>>13919903
Why were they all raping? Shouldn't they be doing their jobs?

[Anonymous No.13920020]

>>13915408
I'm not that rude unfortunately, especially over a snack.

[Anonymous No.13920042]

>>13919307
Jesus christ thats insanely cheap
Granted I normally just buy decent pre workout at .5c a serving and do 1/2scoop (dont need 250mg of caffeine on non lift days) for about the same price, but I hunt deals on amazon and the like. For an in-store caffeine fix thats a steal.

[Anonymous No.13920050]

>>13914815
>Show up around dinner time
>Find everything I need
>Everyone is nice and cordial if not a little cautious
>No one actually knows anyone with the virus
>Wish the cashier a good day
>They respond cheerfully
>Return home to my bumpkin corn crop and free movement
Flyovers rise up, finally the coasties pay their due for mocking us.

[Anonymous No.13920054]

>>13920018
Haven’t figured that out myself, I assumed it was just in their dna?

[Anonymous No.13920086]

>>13916242
p o r k & e g g n u g g e t s

[Anonymous No.13920088]

>Went to Neighborhood Walmart to get some flushable wipes because I ran out
>They were out of wipes but actually had a whole row of toilet tissue
>Remember that a friend of mine who doesn't have a car mentioned that she was about out of tissue
>Wasn't sure if they were doing the one per rule
>Grab a pack for me and my friend
>Was at self checkout
>If I already paid for it, they couldn't say anything
>Then some loud bitch sees me and is like "YA'LL GOT TISSUE??!?"
>Worker over self checkout says they have some, but it's one per person
>Worker makes me put one back
>Then the bitch is like "OH THAT TISSUE TOO BIG FOR MY ROLL ANYWAY"

Try to do something nice for someone and retards ruin it.

[Anonymous No.13920091]

hey i've been to that trader joe's

[Anonymous No.13920106]

why does everyone still wear tiny surgery masks and bandanas thinking it will do anything against corona
i bet they still think washing their hands will do anything too

[Anonymous No.13920112]

>>13916526
>I honestly wish they'd just nationalize the grocery stores
Most people aren't aware that they already nationalized the grocery distribution a few weeks ago.
That is why there are continual shortages on toilet paper and cleaning supplies.
Personally, I think they are diverting it from the grocery warehouses to stock the underground military bases, because stores don't even receive 10% of what they order for these products.

[Anonymous No.13920144]

>>13914888
oh fuck I watched The Basket Case a few days ago. pretty good movie

[Anonymous No.13920291]

>>13920086
They're the best bit!!!

[Anonymous No.13920309]

>went to grocery store
>bought items I needed
>went back home

[Anonymous No.13920318]

>>13919445
has anyone in your store been diagnosed, or do you know of anyone that's been able to get the pay? i've been out for two weeks now. it sucks cause i live with my partner and we also work together in prep foods. he got symptoms so his doctor told him to quarantine but didn't get him tested. even though i didn't have (and still never got) symptoms, there's no way i could responsibly go to work in that situation so i quarantined too. we've been talking to tmss and they haven't even said if they'll pay him so i figure there's no way in fuck that they'll pay me. we were supposed to go back to work tomorrow but they never told us if we could even come back and on the new schedule - the one two weeks from now - they have us both on LOA. a few days ago they sent us a mass text saying someone in our store was diagnosed with it. i've seen some stores make the news for having a diagnosed employee but ours hasn't been reported on. i wonder how many people in the store have it who just haven't been diagnosed.

[Anonymous No.13920410]

>>13917875
>>13917990
>>13920106
>spreading this much disinfo this late in the game
Nice try, coping for the 200k+ "viral pneumonia" deaths the PRC has suffered. The rest of the world combined isn't going to come anywhere close to their amount of fuckup, with or without your shitty low-effort disinfo.

[Anonymous No.13920607]

>>13917467
The chad response is to go there with some of your material. Hand it to him in an undisclosed white envelope, wink, and walk away.

[Anonymous No.13920676]

>>13914815
>4' scarfwoman with gloves eyeing me with hostility as I approach the pizza aisle

[Anonymous No.13920727]

>>13915136
>picks my interest

[Anonymous No.13920731]

>>13914815
last month there was a dude so fat he defied physics

and everyone started using shitty surgical masks

[Anonymous No.13920735]

>go to store
>business as usual
>arrive home with groceries

[Anonymous No.13920747]

>>13916991
Unironically yes, that is what most people did the last time I went to the store.

Yes, it is a pain, and I'm not going to feel particular about someone ignoring it, but it is not as if there isn't a mind-numbingly obvious reason for it being a thing.

[Anonymous No.13920750]

>>13917990
>It's not about "% effectiveness
What you're trying to imply here is that infection is not based on degrees or viral load, that any amount of exposure is as good as any other. But then you suggest the very opposite with your next sentrnce, that the deeper you inhale and thus the less diluted the virus is by the time it reaches your lungs, the more chance you have of contracting disease. So which is it?

[Anonymous No.13920758]

>>13918660
>really should've walked right past her while rubbing my face with my tongue
Which is your default posture since you're a spastic

[Anonymous No.13920764]

>>13919689
>fumbled everything in my hands because carts and baskets are contaminated
The virus is airborne via aerosols which travel travel a considerable way and linger indoors, meaning most items you pick up are likely contaminated. Not meaning to scare monger, just that this is a relatively pointless step providing you wash your hands.

[Anonymous No.13920776]

>>13919995
This. I know exactly what I want and I'll be fucked if I'm going to wait for you to umm and aww for 20 minutes before deciding, instead of just reaching past you and grabbing it, you fucking lobotomy victim

[Anonymous No.13920819]

>>13914815
>"ey lad, would you mind goin in there and scaring all the other customers out so we don't have to wait in this queue any longer?"
your wish is my command

[Anonymous No.13920840]

>>13920000
20,000 of them

[Anonymous No.13920863]

>>13916242
Are these good? I got some when the lockdown happened as an emergency meal; figured since I like the ol' sausage and beans I'd like this too.

[Anonymous No.13920922]

>go to grocery store
>faggot behind counter asks how I'm doing
>"not bad. Off work indefinitely, but its whatever"
>"oh yea...I would be too, but, y'know, I'm eESeNShaLL PeRsoNNeL"
>didnt have the heart to tell faggot that I'm military and making 2700 every two weeks to literally sit at home.

[Anonymous No.13921098]

Not really a story, but I can't believe just how much more exciting and happy I am to go to the grocery store now just for something to do. I liked grocery shopping before, but now I'm like a kid in a candy store.

Visits are few and far between these days.

[Anonymous No.13921111]

They have put markings on the floor so people can maintain 2 meter distance while waiting in line at the checkout.
Old folks keep cutting in front of me because "there's room".
I hope they all get the virus and die.

[Anonymous No.13921134]

>went to work this morning
>checked out tp aisle
>most I've seen at once in over a month
>text roommate
>he came and bought some
>continue working
>will probably pick out a steak to take home later

[Anonymous No.13921145]

>>13916700
Jokes on you, corona is more likely to kill a trumptard boomer or midwest landwhale than any other demographic. Add that to southern evangelical congregations still being packed despite the pandemic, what you have is a recipe for the conservative base to systematically be genocided in the next 18 months.

[Anonymous No.13921148]

>>13914815

>went to a korean grocery
>cashier lady coughed
>left immediately

[Anonymous No.13921176]

>brother wanted easter candy
>he'd been drinking so so asked me to drive him to store
>drive him to one store
>they don't have any easter candy left
>he buys ice cream and frozen burgers
>drive him to other store
>he buys easter candy and other snacks
>find chips that might be flavor we found once but never again
>buys two Yu-gi-oh starter/structure decks from start of link era
>drive him home
>he takes all the snacks into his room

[Anonymous No.13921183]

>>13921111
If you didn't say anything that's on you, buddy. It's not everyone's responsibility to know you exist.

[Anonymous No.13921215]

>>13921183
I didn't say anything because I'm not in a hurry anyway. I just think it's really stupid that the people who are most at risk are also the ones who take the least care.
I don't worry about the virus at all myself. I just follow the guidelines so I won't have to put up with some cunt who suddenly thinks she's both a virologist and a cop. And there are a lot of those about lately.

[Anonymous No.13921217]

>the obese block an entire aisle
>carefully squeeze past to get by without touching any of these portable lard synthesizers
>i make it unscathed when one of the hambeasts chirps "what happened to 6 feet?"

[Anonymous No.13921248]

>>13921217
Tell them that if they really care about their health they should lose some fucking weight.
God, I hate people.

[Anonymous No.13921270]

>>13921217
>"Do you ever get hit by cars because they don't have enough gas to go around?"

[Anonymous No.13921282]

>>13921145
You're wrong. The conservatives are practicing virus protocols while pretending they never said it was all fake weeks ago. Now they are just complaining about how much they hate the government.

[Anonymous No.13921291]

>>13921217
>sorry, got pulled into your gravitational field

[Anonymous No.13921317]

>>13921282
Not him, but why do I keep hearing about church quacks continuing service with 100's of people despite warnings and regulations.

[Anonymous No.13921334]

>>13921282
yet Yellow vests staging protests in numbers, not to mention the jesus nuts who still go to church flouting pandemic measures

[Anonymous No.13921348]

>>13920318
Yes a couple weeks back we all got a call that there was a confirmed case of it at our store and that they'll be reaching out to individuals that were in close contact with that TM. I wouldn't be surprised if there were more now and store leadership is just hush hush about it.

>we've been talking to tmss and they haven't even said if they'll pay him
Your tms sounds like it sucks ass, reach out to your store leadership or better yet get a regional contact at TMS. There is also a covid 19 option in PTO in workday, I'd request that as well.

I've been operating on the assumption that we'll all get infected at one point or another.

[Anonymous No.13921353]

>>13916982

>lol I don't care about things guys look at how based I am
>my dad's a whitetrash retard do I fit in with you fellow alt-rights yet? do I finally have friends?

Good job Cleetus, you absolute fag.

[Anonymous No.13921358]

>>13920863
Actually pretty decent, the mushrooms are lame and it's relatively bland, but with 3 rounds of buttered toast and an appetite, it's a very hardy apocalypse meal.

[Anonymous No.13921372]

>>13919760
Retard

[Anonymous No.13921432]

>>13919851
>tallboy natty light
kick it off with a 25oz natty daddy, fag

[Anonymous No.13921455]

>>13921217
>"Am I supposed to start those 6 feet from your triple chin or your protruding gut?"

[Anonymous No.13921510]

>Go to regional chain market
>No gloves, no mask, because I'm not immuno-compromised, old, or overweight
>My commie State banned plastic bags last year but now they're back, thank you Corona-chan
>Aisles have winding one-way directional markers
>Ignore that shit because I efficiently make my shopping list in the order of store layout to avoid back-tracking and increase speed of the trip
>briskly walk past people wearing gloves and masks as I go the "wrong way"
>No one says anything
>Parents making their kids wear masks, but the kids have them on their mouths only (noses exposed)
>People wearing gloves, but they're wearing their leather winter gloves and not disposable ones
>Bummed because vanilla extract is gone
>Realize butter+sugar is a perfectly fine cookie flavor anyway
>TP gone as it has been for 4 weeks. All cleaning supplies except the natural shit gone
>Have a nice chat with the checkout lady about coconut candies
>Get a fuckton of FREE plastic bags to re-use at home
>Leave happy

Of note: cashiers wearing gloves and masks was voluntary. Only the older cashiers opted for the PPE. Young employees not wearing masks/gloves except for the black ones.

Also the M&M's were totally picked over. Out of all the candy, the M&M's had the biggest dent in the shelf.

[Anonymous No.13921550]

>>13919995
"Cumbersome" is the perfect choice of words here; not enough to get upset over, but it just makes your day a tiny bit worse that some cunt doesn't realize that if you have to keep 6ft between two persons, either of them can move, and not just the last one to arrive.

[Anonymous No.13921565]

>>13916526
If you think this is hell, nationalized grocery stores would be much, much worse.
You ever here about a little story I like to call “Russia and Communism under Stalin”

[Anonymous No.13921633]

>>13918775
My story is basically
>got wuflu in February
>spread to San Diego, LA, various cities between and nearby
>spread to uni classes
>spread to DUI classes
>spread to friends and family
>spread to dozens of stores and malls
>spread to various people in streets
And then I quarantined with my family (that already probably had it) and everything was fine. I don’t know if I got wuflu somewhere I went or from my family, but a lot of my family were sick before me.

[Anonymous No.13921768]

>>13916982
>then we took turns blowing homeless dudes just to show we're not afraid of some nothingburger flu

Hope your Dad dies from the Boomer Doomer virus and it sterilizes you. I can only hope Darwinism is allowed to play out.

[Anonymous No.13922546]

>>13917860
Its mediocre protection really. The real point is to stop you from getting others sick. Same as the surgical masks. Pic related will actually protect you because the P100 filters work to filter out the droplets that carry the Chinkie Pox. Yes I know I'm overweight, thanks for the heads up. Gloves, eye protection, respirator with N95 or better and you're set. Decontaminate what you can and be aware of cross contamination. Almost certain its overkill, but Pascals Wager.

[Anonymous No.13922592]

>>13920747
Just hold your breath while walking past them. I know you don't get to show off how conscientious you're being because there's no obvious sign that you're holding your breath, but it's rational and acceptable.

[Anonymous No.13922617]

>>13921111
I did that once by mistake. A guy called my attention to the fact I had cut in, so I apologised and went behind him.

[Anonymous No.13922777]

>>13921176
how fat?

[Anonymous No.13922781]

>>13914815
>I went to the store
>I bought stuff
>I went back home

[Anonymous No.13922795]

The paranoia over this virus is getting retarded. Be cautious but God damn people think getting this thing is the end of them. It's amazing how much fear the media put in people. So much so they're supporting the limit of basic freedoms.

[Anonymous No.13922803]

>>13914815
They had the equivalent of a package holiday rep. entertaining the line of people queuing to enter the shop.
There were songs, chants and encouragement of conversation with your line neighbour.
I think the getting the virus would have been less painful.

[Anonymous No.13922816]

Just got back from the Stop n Shop and it was very aggravating.
>go to the store
>notice that they put up one way arrows in the aisles for a flow of traffic
>pretty smart, great way to reduce contact
>except maybe 1/3 of the people there are following them
>people just walk down aisles to grab things and don't even pretend to social distance
>I just glare at people and give them a wide berth, sometimes have to stop and wait, other times have to backtrack to get around people
Turned a 20 minute trip into 30 minutes

[Anonymous No.13922858]

>>13914815
>i bought groceries

[Anonymous No.13922870]

>>13917636
both of my roommates work at target and wear no ppe. one of them says "it's inconvenient". he also spent 4 hours hanging out at the vape shop. this shit is so hopeless. I'm going to kick both of them out after all of this is over.

[Anonymous No.13922872]

>>13922795
oh i'm loving. they didn't do shit during the swine flu pandemic and a naysayer dumbass gave me that disease (on purpose right?), in fact, everytime i've been seriously sick for the last 20 years it was because of an incredible idiot, a complete dumbass, a lying piece of shit omitting information. so fuck anyone whose IQ is too low to comprehend infectious diseases, nothing like putting a curfew on those people to bring me peace.

[Anonymous No.13922882]

>>13921176
>he takes all the snacks into his room

[Anonymous No.13922889]

>>13921348
i will call regional. today we both called in since we weren't sure if we were even allowed back or not since they never said anything to us. they said that my partner would be getting the pay and he wouldn't need to come in until thursday but i was free to some back at any time and i would not be getting the pay. it makes no fucking sense, our addresses are the same on file so it's proven we live together.

th thing about leadership being so hush hush about it is so true it's scary. about three weeks ago i was at work and got a text from a coworker "lol fuck man i got coronavirus and tmss won't say shit to me about pay." i mentioned it to the coworkers around me. the very next day at the beginning of my shift, i was called up to tmss and they said "we heard someone told you they have coronavirus." i said "yeah, it was X..." thinking they were asking me to try to prove that they had it and weren't bullshitting? i really didn't know why thy were asking. but they asked to see the text messages saying they had the virus and once they saw them they said, "this person does NOT have the coronavirus and you can NOT tell people that they have it." then once i left they called the person and asked why they told me they had it. i know this cause on my first fifteen i went outside to tell them what happened with tmss and to apologize for showing personal texts. the tmss person said they were trying to keep rumors from spreading so people didn't freak out but being asked to see my text messages was way over the line. the funny thing is that person is also pretty the most involved union organizer in my store and right before the texts about the virus, they were talking about the sick out. good thing tmss didn't see that.

[Anonymous No.13922906]

>>13916440
super cool story.

[Anonymous No.13923161]

>>13917875
>viral dosage doesn't matter

[Anonymous No.13923169]

>>13917963
That's a good way to get shot

[Anonymous No.13923174]

>>13916440
Sunglasses don't hide your eyes so much that people can't see where you're looking.

[Anonymous No.13923192]

>>13920004
a land numbering 350 milli spooked over 10k.. wish i could shoot you all

[Anonymous No.13923265]

>>13919725
Good

[Anonymous No.13923281]

>>13920010
When I see carts abandoned with nobody near them I take them to customer service as "returns" lol

[Anonymous No.13923340]

>>13923174
Yeah they do

[Anonymous No.13923369]

>employer tells me company is running out of money
>go shopping today
>wear stupid mask because everyone else is
>hate not being able to breathe freely
>no toilet paper or isopropyl alcohol still
>buy some extra meat to put in the freezer
>see super thicc girl want her to suffocate me with her thighs
>path blocked in parking lot by stupid fucks not putting the carts back in the corral

[Anonymous No.13923391]

>>13922872
Yeah and we got over it fine with little economic turmoil. You're now taking a virus with a lower death rate and forcing people to not work, devastating the economy so even after we get over this thing, everyone is fucked because they induced so much fear and panic into the system that now the economy is fucked, people allow the government to impose on freedoms, leading to an inevitable disaster politically and socially.

[Anonymous No.13923392]

>be wagie with asthma
>get PTO
>Can go in before the store opens
>Walk out with a full cart as the store opens and pass by the line of people waiting
>"WHAT THE FUCK. THEY BE LETTING WHITE PEOPLE IN I TOLD YOU"

[Anonymous No.13923673]

>>13923391
>You're now taking a virus with a lower death rate
fake news

>devastating the economy
pandemics are devastating to the economy and more on channel 4

>everyone is fucked because they induced so much fear and panic
funny how they said the same thing during the spanish flu curfew

>the economy is fucked
the economy takes a hit regardless. it is better to address with the healthcare crisis first and leave the economy for later

[Anonymous No.13923700]

>>13923673
They're adding deaths completely unrelated to covid, people just had covid in their system at their time of death, so not fake news. Of course they are but not to this extent. Healthy low risk people are stuck at home for no reason. Most people are asymptomatic. Spanish flu was an entirely different thing, attacking healthy young people.

[Anonymous No.13923791]

>>13923700
>not fake news
yeah definitely not fake news more like conspiracy

>Healthy low risk people are stuck at home for no reason
nope asymptomatic carriers are the most dangerous group

>Spanish flu was an entirely different thing, attacking healthy young people.
i'm moving that goalpost back to its original place as both were pandemics and both caused similar reactions on smooth brained individuals

if you don't care about healthcare workers or old people well... no one cares about your input either

[Anonymous No.13923813]

>>13923791
But you fail to realize a serious depression will end up killing more people than this virus. Suicide, substance abuse, violent crime, domestic abuse, homelessness. Not to mention all the older people and already sick relying on social security or other government funded programs that will be gutted to here and back

[Anonymous No.13923831]

>>13923791
>The CDC advises that officials should report deaths in which the patient tested positive for COVID-19 — or, if a test isn’t available, “if the circumstances are compelling within a reasonable degree of certainty.” It further indicates that if a “definitive diagnosis cannot be made … but it is suspected or likely … it is acceptable to report COVID-19 on a death certificate as ‘probable’ or ‘presumed.'”

[Anonymous No.13923901]

>>13921176
>yugioh cards
>easter candy
Why is your underage brother drinking?

[Anonymous No.13923968]

>>13923791
Old people have been hoarding all the wealth and jobs for decades, and now we're expected to spend the next hundred years paying off extra national debt just to keep them alive for another decad. Boomers are going too fucking far this time.

[Anonymous No.13923993]

>>13914815
> go to get some refried beans because craving them and hadn’t soaked any beans at home
> wearing a mask in an empty aisle, craft pulled to my side
> looking at cans
> hear a loud, gruff “excuse me”
> ignore it... can’t be talking to me
> hear it again and turn around. Some gruff lady with a mask on and no cart is standing about ten feet away at the start of the aisle
> “Yes?”
> “EXCUSE ME”
> “Excuse you what? What do you want me to do?”
> “I want to get by and you are taking up the whole aisle!!”
> look at her like wtf
> “EXCUSE ME!” She yells
> corner myself as close to the wall of beans as possible with my cart next to me so she can walk by and pick absolutely nothing off the shelves


Like she just wanted to yell at me for taking my time and not snatching things as quickly as possible?

> “that was very rude,” I tell her as she walks off
> “I said EXCUSE ME” she yells


And of course there was way too much sodium in all the beans so I didn’t buy any anyway and I went home and did a quick soak and just had some fresh refried beans and chips

[Anonymous No.13924098]

>>13923392
>"WHAT THE FUCK. THEY BE LETTING WHITE PEOPLE IN I TOLD YOU"
kek

[Anonymous No.13924196]

>>13920009
>>Obese dude wearing fashionable military clothing
i think you saw me...

[Anonymous No.13924480]

>>13915419
>im all for freedom
>if done in a socially acceptable way

[Anonymous No.13924717]

>go to grocery store
>theyve set it up so the lanes are all 1way supposedly
>everyone spookedand not wanting to go near each other
>i casually browse and wander around as per normal, going whichever way i please
>sometimesjust stay in one place looking at items, people are too scared to walk past but they dont want to break the 1way rule so they just akwardly stand there
i should have started coughing, all hell would have broken loose

[Anonymous No.13924746]

>>13914815

>be me
>6'6" with long arms
>1.98 meters for britbongs
>can easily reach last few things of pasta, frozen spinach, anchoves, etc. all the way against rear wall on top shelves that normie manlets can't reach
>mfw
>still no fucking flour anywhere

[Anonymous No.13924779]

>>13922546
lol fatass

[Anonymous No.13924929]

>>13923673
>>13923700

[Anonymous No.13925007]

>>13920922
>2700 every two weeks to literally sit at home.
The military is welfare

[Anonymous No.13925023]

>>13924480
This country is full of people who are the paragon of their cause, only the cause needs to be redefined to their standard.

[Anonymous No.13925118]

>>13922592
Also close your eyes then. Corona can spread by making contact with your eyes. And make sure to clench your anus because if a hostile fart penetrates your pants it can also infect you that way.

[Anonymous No.13925137]

>>13925118
>Obese man contracts corona from CPR after roaming local grocery store with his eyes closed while refusing to breathe

[Anonymous No.13925163]

>>13923700
>They're adding deaths completely unrelated to covid, people just had covid in their system at their time of death
>have medical issues
>everything is going to work out fine
>get highly infectious disease
>immune system has to fight both at once
>can't fucking breath well
Haha ye so silly those people just happen to have Corona when they die!

[Anonymous No.13925253]

>>13925163
Yeah dude that type 2 diabetic with one foot definitely didn't have it coming one way or another. Not like the regular flu wouldn't have taken them out or anything

[Anonymous No.13925260]

>>13914815
>Checkout clerk asks me if I have a food dehydrator
>I say yes
>Tells me in hushed tones to start making jerky because beef and pork are getting harder to source

[Anonymous No.13925263]

>>13925118
I don't give a fuck about catching it. I just don't want to be some Typhoid Mary.

[Anonymous No.13925376]

>>13922777
not very. hes certainly no picture of health though. nice digits.
>>13922882
yes.
>>13923901
zoomers cant into yugioh. evident by the recent introduction of rush duels.

[Anonymous No.13925379]

>>13925260
she wants your cock

[Anonymous No.13925421]

>>13925253
Yeah but the regular flu isn't infecting millions, is it?

[Anonymous No.13925464]

>>13925421
You retarded?

[Anonymous No.13925474]

>be me
>buying a handle of vodka and jerky
>sir can I see your ID
>sure, but you can't touch it and I'm not taking off my mask
>thank you very much
>donate $2 to the charity thing
>have a great day
Life comes at you fast

[Anonymous No.13925589]

>>13919813
Unless you have existing heart/lung problems and/or are elderly, then it has a fairly good chance of killing you.

[Anonymous No.13925597]

>>13920050
Don't worry it'll make its way out there sooner or later.

[Anonymous No.13925615]

>>13920050
solid take

[Anonymous No.13925618]

>>13923993
Your beans look like shit and you’re gay

[Anonymous No.13925625]

>>13925615
It will turn up there soon and the entire population will die within a fortnight. Have money saved to buy the deceased states at bottom prices when the opportunity arises.

[Anonymous No.13925734]

>wear a gag-ball under my corona mask

[Anonymous No.13925913]

>one day off a week so I have to make the most of it and buy a week of groceries at a time
>the only good grocery store in the small city has a 20 minute wait to get in the store due to limiting customers
>80 degrees out and humid
>have to listen to an annoying troll walk up and down the line yelling about SIX FEET and SOCIAL DISTANCING the whole time
>finally get in the store
>almost every aisle with shit I need has groups of boomers standing side by side blocking the aisle chatting
>no ones moving despite the fact that there's a limit on how many people are in the store at one time
>start to edge myself in so I can get what I need and and get out
>someone notices and makes a quip about disrespectful young people and social distancing
hurry up and do your job corona-chan, I'm tired of this shit
>>13916286
Working second shift/until we're done, it was nice to be able to head to walmart at 3 am after work to shop at my own pace with zero crowds and fully stocked shelves. This whole thing has fucked that up pretty good

[Anonymous No.13925918]

>>13925734
please be in london

[Anonymous No.13926141]

>>13925376
actually, you can only play the rush duels with rush decks

[Anonymous No.13926161]

>>13925253
I'm not sure if you're trolling or genuinely retarded. Either way, neck yourself

[Anonymous No.13926217]

>>13923391
People like you are so dumb it hurts. You're so busy freaking out over MUH FREEDUMBS (even though you probably barely left you house anyway) you ignore that it's less about the "death count" (and we should be striving for 0 deaths either way) and more about the fact that hospitals are getting completely overwhelmed and can't fit the amount of people that need treatment, let alone the people trying to get in for unrelated things.

And if you did any fucking research at all before yapping blindly you'll also know that it's far worse than just a "seasonal flu". Yes, people are living--with treatment. Treatment isn't possible if the hospitals can't fit all the sick people.

[Anonymous No.13926242]

>>13925618
Uhhh they were great they are made with mayo coba beans. Maybe that’s why it looks different to you.

[Anonymous No.13926246]

>>13926217
But no one cares about climate change? We can’t be bothered to coerce people to make a single change that could help turn back the tide of mass annihilation, but we can lock down the entire world essentially for a virus. It’s just interesting.

[Anonymous No.13926247]

>"Anon, look at you coming in on your day off!"

>"Haha, actually no I quit..."
>"... like four months ago."
>"I moved. I'm just here on vacation"

>"Oh... Well, great timing, eh? Flights are cheap these days."
>"Anyway, what'll you have?"

and like 30 other various small talk exchanges from all my old coworkers after not seeing me for 4 months.

[Anonymous No.13926253]

>>13914815
>walk into supermarket
>no spring onions
>ask employee
>out of stock due to corona
>weird, but ok
>buy shallots instead
only way this epidemic has affected me whatsoever

[Anonymous No.13926256]

>>13926246
People clearly care about climate change, but it's not nearly as an immediate of a threat, dip shit. You can't compare the two.

[Anonymous No.13926443]

I just want to buy some ginger already

[Anonymous No.13926611]

>>13926217
No dude I get that aspect of it, but when a Governor tells people to snitch on others breaking quarantine for a reward, it just smells too much like past historical tragedies. Maybe you should crack a history book open and learn about fear controlling the masses.
Also where did I compare it to the flu? Its reactionaries like you that are directing the current narrative. Any criticism at all of the plan and you think that person is insensitive or doesn't get the point of a lockdown. I get it. There just comes a point where it's not worth it

[Anonymous No.13926653]

>>13926217
Oh btw here's some info on the seasonal flu. Better lockdown for this one too buddy
https://www.cdc.gov/flu/about/burden/preliminary-in-season-estimates.htm

[Anonymous No.13926666]

>>13914815
>ran out of fox’s u-bet syrup, objectively the best chocolate syrup
>didn’t want to buy online and wait a month for amazon to deliver
>go to grocery store for my weekly trip
>I incidentally see fox’s u-bet on the Passover display
>leave the store feeling good
>I continue enjoying my chocolate milk and egg creams

[Anonymous No.13926712]

>>13926666
how fat are you?

[Anonymous No.13926738]

>>13926256
Are you gonna be like Trump and ignore all the warning signs until it’s too late? LolZ

[Anonymous No.13926826]

>>13926738
Trump acted faster than any other country on this. Unironically.

[Anonymous No.13926842]

>>13926826
i am a "libtard" and have to admit this is true

[Anonymous No.13926863]

>>13914815
>go to grocery for bread, eggs and milk
>theres a line up at the door
>"am i in soviet russia or what?"
>everyone claps

[Anonymons No.13926869]

>produce section
>see an older white lady wearing a mask, trying to pull a bag.
>having some trouble
>licks her finger, finally pulls the bag

nigga_wut.png

[Anonymous No.13926893]

>>13926712
120lb

[Anonymous No.13926928]

>Publix
>one side to the store is blocked off
>one way in one way out
>approach store
>hear guy say "OKAY WE GOT ONE!"
>walk up
>"HELLO WELCOME SIR :))"
>thanks...
>not wearing a mask or gloves because if I die I die
>aisles are divided in that every other aisle can't be entered from, to block congestion or something like that.
>seeing people still hoard toilet paper like retards
>sandwich meats and eggs are gone
>go to the 'international foods' aisle (basically shit like tortillas, ramen, and german stuff
>fuck it i'll just get some ramen
>ramen is completely sold out
This virus is more of an annoyance to me desu, I can't go to any of my favorite restaurants and everyone keeps panic buying shit.

[Anonymous No.13926943]

>walk all the way to kind of pricy Korean supermarket that's has narrow aisles
>early enough so no line to get inside
>they give me plastic gloves to wear as soon as I walk in
>can't find the $5-6 can of coconut milk I just saw on the shelf, >decide to just pick up a random can since people are starting to come into the store
>let people finish up in aisle before going into it and they do the same for me
>all customers are wearing masks
>security/staff walking around, some with masks, no talking
>everything is well stocked unlike last time I was there around the beginning of March
>even find Sun Chips imported from Korea
>get to empty line
>there are markers telling people where to stand
>cashiers are behind plexiglass with mask and gloves
>they help me pack my bags
>minimal talking despite the debit card I got from UI not working
>use my bank card instead
>leave
>get home and realized that I forgot to buy curry blocks for the coconut milk

Just going to stick to that place for the meantime if I have to go out shopping again. American stores seem to not want to properly protect their employees OR customers. It's a real shame.

[Anonymous No.13926945]

>>13914847
>kill jester

[Anonymous No.13926947]

>>13915340
Based kind anon

[Anonymous No.13926949]

>>13916982
Will your dad be 'owning the libs' if he gets sick and dies?

[Anonymous No.13926959]

>>13917605
That sucks. She's an asshole and a dumbass. Everyone acts as if they are so fucking special that they cant keep their masks on.

[Anonymous No.13926965]

>>13917814
>really struggling to care for all the low skill frontline workers

Then don't use their services. Oh wait...you can't, because they are essential.

[Anonymous No.13926966]

>>13919464
>unionize
>get fired for some reason
wow that went well

[Anonymous No.13926975]

>>13919510
Sounds like propaganda to me.

[Anonymous No.13926994]

>>13914871
lol

[Anonymous No.13927322]

>>13926863
My uncle unironically said something similar to this when we went to an outdoor shop and were waiting outside for a bit. God, he's an insufferable tool.

[Anonymous No.13927331]

>>13924196
Kroger?

[Anonymous No.13927368]

>>13926965
The labor is essential, the employees actually aren't.

[Anonymous No.13927900]

>>13918623
>I am forced by societal pressures
Lol'd hard. Betas are hilarious!

[Anonymous No.13928209]

>go to local supermarket
>everything is as ususal apart from people keeping distance to each other while waiting to check out
shits already over in north germany. even a month ago you barely saw anyone acting out of the ordinary while i had a few good laughs at the occasional retard running around with fucking goggles