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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 64 KB, 800x450, cum slut cookies.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14189402 No.14189402 [Reply] [Original]

were these cookies created to condition us to today's era of hyper-promiscuous super sluts?
can these cookies be enjoyed in an era where hardcore pornography is considered part of a balanced lifestyle?
if you're gay, is it easier to enjoy these cookies because you don't think of drooling vulva wounds whenever you spy a row of these cookies in a case or on the packaging of the boxes always on the lowest shelf of the aisles so as to force you into a positional submission to the Grocer generously giving you the creampies, much the same as if you were kneeling at the bedside, or even fully pronate as they took things to the floor, Little Debbie or Sarah Lee having returned from their Kibbutzim-of-discovery, a long distance show where there were these guys who never spoke English whenever they appeared in their webcams and Sarah and Debbie had to quickly cut things short, it always seemed like those fuzzy friends of theirs were always in some kind of hurry, and so it always seemed a nice thing to do to be understanding and let them go about what they needed, that's the specific genre of cuckery engendered in the Oatmeal Creampie Cookie's marketing,

>> No.14189404

indistinguishable from any vaingloriously phone-lamp illuminated slurping of unspeakable remnants, it's all evident in that extra tingle you feel about your salivary glands and behind your eyes when your thirsty vision scans one of the always slightly abused boxes of goo-pumped sandwich cookies, your mind goes immediately to the factory's hot melt extrusion machine and its 72 to 96 hour runs of squirting precisely emulsified sugary paroxysms into the clams of thousands of queued cookie shells, and you cannot imagine how the shameless inventors of these cookies ever managed to market these deviant things in the first place, how were they not tarred-and-feathered the minute they fled the bank's foyer, right into the clutches of a crowd hungry for justice, and escaping this fate, they made the world in which hypersexualized desserts flaunt their "lifestyle" at you everytime you fancy yourself a new man with a new amount of self control that needn't any Oreos and isn't one to be fooled by no Keeblers either, anymore than feel there's a void of self respect that might send us into the Pepperidge Farm cartons, but then we see them, the sluttily beaten boxes, bent and sullied as if right before boxing they were conveyed immediately into a meat-slapping gauntlet of prodigious phalluses hefty with their musculatures of perennial pussy-punching, but holding in reserve their thrusts, the dicks became fleshy filthy hammers defiling the cookies, to give the boxes a sordid look of twisted, disgusting sensuality.

>> No.14189566

They should just rename them to something that isn't a colloquialism for ejaculating inside a vagina

>> No.14189979
File: 384 KB, 725x466, Screenshot_20171219_145035.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.14189986


That's a take I haven't heard before

>> No.14189995

This reads like Pynchon. Is that you Tom?

>> No.14190867

>Oatmeal Creampie Cookies
I think you mean oatmeal cream cookies

>> No.14190884

why do americans take a perfectly good thing such as oat meal cookies and ruin them with some sort of sauce?

>> No.14190997

Creme pie desserts have existed longer than the use of that term, why should cream pies have to change?

>> No.14191183

Extremely based take

>> No.14191198

t. faggot

>> No.14191227


>> No.14192633

If you give these cookies as a gift will people assume you're a swinger?

>> No.14193114


>> No.14193328

I'm not sure I follow, but your cookies look nice. Probably would get messy eating them.

>> No.14193360

Rent free

>> No.14193376
File: 542 KB, 1920x1080, pathetic.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

imagine being such a coomer that you can't separate sex from any other aspect of your life, especially one as asexual as cooking for sustenance or pure enjoyment

>> No.14193402

nigga can I just enjoy things please

>> No.14194664

Nope. They should double down and make cream-filled clamshells instead of simply stacking two cookies on top of each other. Keep calling them creampies. Say it loud and shout it from the rooftops.


>> No.14194667

Calm down we all know you hate your girlfriends but still accuse others of being gay for getting divorces when you have ten

>> No.14194671

What a fucking weirdo you are, op

>> No.14194678
File: 21 KB, 236x304, c33453415b92f31f5bb7dbcd80bc3f37.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.14194943

i normally don't expose such things, OP, and it's not that there is any coincidence between sexual depravity and highly marketed snack and dessert food items, not exactly at least, because it is fairly obvious that once capitalism invents a new food, there commences a parallel and concerted effort to exploit human sexuality to market the newly invented stuffed snack cake or nut butter wafers by as powerful if esoteric a programming as can be purchased, and they do this not to be sickos but because it is shrewd to do so and because any leader of Conagra or Hersheys feels the anxious funk of fiduciary responsibility lurking up from their custom collars and so would never shy away from telling a local fetish community or one practicing in a prominent city that there is a new edible this or that on the way and there was a sky-high market for appropriating a sufficiently graphic sexual act that you had hopes of imprinting, branding deep into the potential customer's psyche a parallel connection between fecundate fucked flowers spitting out their pollination and your desperately eternally not-chocolate chip cookies. How would you compete against a chocolate chip cookie? It may be one of the few cookies without a scandalous ulterior slang. Market forces push us into exploring these things and it turns out it actually works. Stouffer's sneaks serious coin to homosexual helotry to broaden the meanings behind "chipped beef," apparently one can only be a recipient of the "on toast" version if it is a specific format of Hammam. Twinkies basically invented, many decades ago, an entire genre of homosexual males who outlasted the brand of the snack that required their generation in the first place. RingDings, a slang for a sexual injury often incurred during CN-C play where the anal sphincter does not yield and "Daddy" bounces his clobbered member somewheres other than your butt's guts, it's also hard to shake the elaborate medical play required of a "swiss roll."

>> No.14196386

Has the thread come to any consensus hypothesis?

>> No.14196389

consensus is fuck people of mahogany complexion

>> No.14196454

long as dem soles peachy pink we good cuh

>> No.14197192

My mom told me that if I eat creampie I am cuck. Is she wrong?

>> No.14197867

Depends. Do you lick the cream out first and get some good tongue action going, or do you take a full bite and swallow a nice fat load all at once?

>> No.14197951
File: 14 KB, 413x395, 411636A9-F1C6-45FD-92BF-C427955E750C.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Or you could be less of a /coom/brain.
>mfw when that’s my first association too

>> No.14198002

I like the effort in this, but don't attack a staple of my childhood. Instead go after something that actually sucks, that's new, that is put out by a multinational billion dollar company. Go for the high hanging fruit you cocksucker.

>> No.14198043

Like what?

>> No.14198133

can you repeat that please?

>> No.14198281

blessed thread

>> No.14198378
File: 183 KB, 357x324, 444.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.14199455

god I want to eat out Little Debbie's creampie filled pussy

>> No.14199467

>he can't enjoy the wholesome flavor of an Oatmeal Nakadashi

>> No.14201067

you mean like
>voss water bottles with fruit slices
>extra protein pancake mix and peanut butter

>> No.14201481

You should do Tyson Anytizers or Morningstar tranny patties next

>> No.14201609

tldr but fuc kthose look good

>> No.14203198

no cookies are innocent anymore

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