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/ck/ - Food & Cooking


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File: 132 KB, 1067x1600, gordon-ramsay-bete-noire-des-restaurateurs-a-la-derive-dans-quot-cauchemar-en-cuisine-quot-photo-cc-gordon-ramsay-1465836488.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14922924 No.14922924 [Reply] [Original]

"impress me, Anon!"

What do you cook?

>> No.14922943

Grilled cheese sandwich

>> No.14922960

I know I'm not going to impress a world class chef with my shit ass cooking so I pull out my bass guitar and do a cool ass slap solo

>> No.14922973

>>14922924
I feel no need to impress anyone but myself.

>> No.14922990

>>14922924
Salisbury steak with mash

>> No.14922994

The perfect burgah!

>> No.14923183
File: 775 KB, 813x585, ramsay nasi goreng.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14923183

make some bew-iful Nasi Goreng. now THAT is rice to die for.

>> No.14923200

I simply Donot respect him

>> No.14923206

>>14922924
i'm heating up a plate and doing some fine lines of coke just for you gordon hope you enjoy

>> No.14923216

>>14922924
I would dump eggs in a bag of fritos and tell him I learn from the best

>> No.14923219

>>14922924
Either smoked ribs or ceviche, both are the only dishes my family compliments me for

>> No.14923220

>>14923216
beautiful, delicious look at that

>> No.14923236

>>14922924
Grilled cheese with homemade artisanal cheese and bread, topped with homemade kimchi and cooked over a beautiful fireplace

>> No.14923247

>>14922924
I buy him a mcchicken

>> No.14923251
File: 48 KB, 827x621, 1435869335054.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14923251

>>14922924
I'm making smokey pulled pork and tangy red cabbage slaw with apples. Might fuck around and make soft pretzels to go with.

>> No.14923253

>>14922924
impressions lead to accountability

>> No.14923326

Scrambled eggs because he desperately needs someone to teach him.

>> No.14923336

>>14923253
Lived my whole life like this and I'm depressed as fuck. Maybe a little accountability is a good thing?

>> No.14923356

>>14922943
fpbp

>> No.14923357

grab the largest knife i have and stab him in the jugular

>> No.14923542

>>14922924
Penne Vodka. It's my most consistent dish that turn out well.

>> No.14923560

>>14922924
>try this blow chef, its really good.

>> No.14923574

>>14922924
>scrambled eggs
>grits
>sourdough toast
>glass of fresh squeezed orange juice
>mug of coffee
i only really know how to cook breakfast without constantly staring at a recipe

>> No.14923590
File: 2.48 MB, 350x386, 1552943548610.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14923590

.

>> No.14923591

I would try to give it my best shot with something simple and go full Homemade. A classic salad for starters (maybe some mimosa eggs), steak with Mushroom sauce and homemade pasta. For dessert, I go small bites like small croissant, small cheesecake, small fondant and of course some fruit salad to tie it all together.
I know I won't really impress him but I know I'll get some pointers on how to cook better.

Tgat would be so cool

>> No.14923632

>>14923590
>he puts toothpicks inside it
>cuts it in half
false equivalence

>> No.14923647

>>14922943
>ANON!! Why is this just stale WHITE BREAD?
>ANON!! You could use ANY cheese, why the hell are you just using shitty American cheese? I might as well just be eating fucking plastic!!

>> No.14923658

>>14923632
>still the same height
hi gordon

>> No.14923700

>>14923658
I'm sorry, I assumed you've eaten a burger at a real restaurant. my mistake, I forget how many people only live off of fast food

>> No.14923704

>>14923700
nice argument gordo

>> No.14923717
File: 805 KB, 4128x2322, cydw6614zb711.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14923717

>>14922924
hashbrowns all the way and 2 eggs sunny side up.

>> No.14923718

>>14923206
I like you.

>> No.14923993
File: 176 KB, 398x376, 1601292528527.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14923993

>>14922960
>slap
>impressive

>> No.14924035
File: 250 KB, 1024x708, E9BFFB55-12AA-47B9-883D-12F46535A414.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14924035

>>14922960
>ass slap solo

>> No.14924059

>>14922924
Protein brownies alla /k/

>> No.14924075
File: 34 KB, 699x485, 430.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14924075

>>14922960

>> No.14924080

>>14922924
Nah I'm alright.

>> No.14924088
File: 29 KB, 670x464, crackhunt.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14924088

>>14922924
crack

>> No.14924166

>>14923658
His problem with the restaurant burger was the bun being too small. The edge of the burger is out too far to get a bite of anything but meat

>> No.14924174

>>14923647
>calmly explain that American cheese melts better than any other cheese

>> No.14924470

>>14924166
his mouth is big enough to take a bite is the point

>> No.14924496

>>14922924
Frito Pie

>> No.14924520

>>14922924
I can do an OK chicken tikka masala and bake pretty good bread so those. I doubt it would impress him though, he'd maybe like it and give me some pointers if he didn't think I was a complete knob.

I also do great beef jerky, but he doesn't strike me like a guy that likes jerky.

>> No.14924533

>>14924174
>YOU FUCKING PIG!! There are plenty of cheeses that melt just as well as Americunts and they have ACTUAL FLAVOR

>> No.14924543

>>14922924
anything but:
I make these all the time and I have no written recipe for them.
lasagna
tamales
enchiladas
burritos
stews
biscuits and gravy
bread
cakes
cookies
chili (no beans of course)
basically once I cook something I no longer need to reference a recipe.

>> No.14924581

>>14924543
You don't try different recipes or tweak your own? I doubt you're a decent cook at all.

>> No.14924589

>>14924470
Theres no way to bite into that burger without chewing through the surrounding ring of patty first

>> No.14924751

>>14922924
Sloidahs

>> No.14924780

>>14922924
I can make Tacos and Spaghetti with meat sauce.
I'm thinking of making a kind of weird mix of the 2 one day.

>> No.14924783
File: 20 KB, 400x400, 1603069538307.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14924783

>>14924589
>t.

>> No.14924791
File: 445 KB, 1024x1013, F23C8E35-F71A-4DB4-A658-E1E51F03A18C.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14924791

>>14922924
Didn’t cook anything but I ordered and at 1 QT of seafood fried rice, 1 QT egg drop soup, order of 9 crab rangoons, order rod 4 fried lobster rolls. I’m full

>> No.14924855

Can of jalapeño ranch style beans simmered with a generous amount of bacon bits, heb brand tortillas cooked right on the electric burner folded over with tillamook Mexican blend cheese melted between and cafe bustelo from the keurig served black as the beverage

>> No.14924985

>*take my 13'' horse cock dildo all the way down to the balls*

>> No.14926721

>>14922924
Dessert Mac & Cheese

>> No.14926752
File: 104 KB, 1440x600, Steamed_Hams_Simpsons_Oral_History.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14926752

>>14922924
What if I purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?

>> No.14927372

>>14926752
It might just work, delightfully retarded anon

>> No.14927540

>>14922924
Bolognese

>> No.14927546

>>14922924
Chili with no fucking beans

>> No.14927551
File: 70 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
14927551

>ok chef, i need a bag of fritos, kraft singles, beans, canned tomatoes, onion dip and some eggs
>oh and a pound of salt for seasoning

>> No.14927554

>>14924533
then why didnt you use them you coked up insecure snivelling cunt?

>> No.14929710

>>14927554
>Do I have to hold your fucking hand? Do you need mommy to cook for you? Or are you an adult who can actually cook for yourself?

>> No.14929719

>>14922924
I kill myself. Later that night a ghost appears in the kitchen of the Ramsey household...

>> No.14929866

>>14923183
I do rice and peas too! Love me daddy Gordon!

>> No.14930068

>>14922924
microwave egg and water

>> No.14930582

>>14923700
>mum cut my burger up like they do in burger restaurants

>>
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