/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.15423556]

>Want to do keto because I'm a fat fuck
>It seems almost too easy to believe and I doubt any side effects compare to the health problems I already have
>Realize that bread exists
Not eating bread sounds perfectly fine and logical, but other than lettuce, what the actual fuck am I supposed to like, put things on? Lettuce instead of bread for a sandwich makes total sense, but what about everything else? I like cream cheese but now what am I supposed to do with it? Same with peanut butter? Celery? Surely there's more than that.

I don't want to cook anything, I just want to buy some shit to put my shit on.

[Anonymous No.15423576]

You're already approaching keto with the wrong mindset and will therefore fail before you've even begun.

Keto works when you accept keto as it is. Do clean keto and the results will outweigh the allure of carbs. You'll want to be a better version of yourself. Also keto nachos over pork rinds.

[Anonymous No.15423595]

>>15423576
When the cheese becomes the nachos themselves you have fully embraced the paradigm shift.

[Anonymous No.15423596]

>>15423576
>Keto works when you accept keto as it is. Do clean keto and the results will outweigh the allure of carbs
Genuinely don't have a clue what you're talking about. I don't care about the carbs. I just need a way deliver the food to my mouth without grabbing my eggs and meat like a barbarian.

[Anonymous No.15423603]

>>15423556
does keto work? Absofuckinglutely. The problem though OP is that you are a fat fuck, which means you have a food addiction. Kicking up carbs for someone addicted to food will require monk like discipline.

[Anonymous No.15423604]

>>15423596
I make little taco boats out of romaine lettuce leaves.

[Anonymous No.15423608]

>>15423596
>I just need a way deliver the food to my mouth without grabbing my eggs and meat like a barbarian.
have you considered a spoon or a fork then? maybe a knife?

[Anonymous No.15423633]

>>15423608
He already knows that, he's just trying to make excuses to eat bread/carbs. Fatties try to talk themselves out of dieting all the time. He's not ready to accept keto, but at least he's thinking about it.

[Anonymous No.15423641]

Available most places

[Anonymous No.15423653]

>>15423603
You are right, but I'm both desperate, and angry. I've never known what I'm supposed to and not supposed to eat before and I'm definitely hungry no matter what it is I eat anyway.
>>15423608
Should I eat my cream cheese with a spoon then straight out of the container?
>>15423633
You are definitely more delusional than I am. Maybe just read my post instead of projecting.

[Anonymous No.15423660]

>>15423556
do not fall for the meme diet. cico is all you need if you're not being dumb about it and shove fast food down your throat

[Anonymous No.15423665]

>>15423556
Just lean keto

[Anonymous No.15423674]

First, talk to a fucking doctor about it and form an actual plan you fatfuck. I don't care whether you "doubt" any health problems, keto actually fucks with your body's natural processes and dipshits following fad diet blogs blindly can fucking kill themselves doing it.

It works but there are risks and hurdles to consider, also you're not meant to do keto permanently because, as mentioned before, you can fucking kill yourself. Once you've achieved your goals you largely return to normal eating habits but just eat like less of a fat fuck so you don't regain all the weight.

[Anonymous No.15423678]

Bread is disgusting. You should be esting 80% meat.

[Anonymous No.15423682]

>>15423653
If you eat low carb your hunger signals will definitely rectify, but your carb cravings will never truly go away. I'm not telling you this to lure you away from low carb, just telling you what to be prepared for.

[Anonymous No.15423686]

>>15423633
Bingo.

[Anonymous No.15423709]

>>15423660
>dumb about it and shove fast food down your throat
That's my whole problem. I don't have that kind of self control. If I buy it, I eat it, so I'm researching what to buy instead.
>>15423674
>dipshits following fad diet blogs blindly can fucking kill themselves doing it
>as mentioned before, you can fucking kill yourself
Personally, I don't see a problem with that. It's what I'm already doing so far. I don't know where I implied I was ever supposed to be considering doing it permanently anyway.
I'll admit that I don't like seeing doctors, let along stepping outside of my house. The only thing that happens is I just spike my anxiety and just resist harder.
>>15423686
Good armchair, Samefag

[Anonymous No.15423713]

>>15423556
Restrictive diets don't work in the long run.

To lose weight, you must learn self-control. That is all.

[Anonymous No.15423714]

>>15423556
>cream cheese
Make rice-less salmon rolls or just roll up salmon with cream cheese. Cheese spinach dip also is a good snack/side. Hell make a buffalo blue/cream cheese dip and make some grilled chicken.
>peanut butter
A really good base for many recipes to avoid carbs. Make a thai peanut sauce to eat with chicken. Peanut balls with dark chocolate and coconut oil is a cool dessert. Or fuck it dude eat it raw. Put it in your coffee idk.
You gotta be creative, and then you'll make it.

[Anonymous No.15423718]

>>15423674
>keto fucks with your body's own processes
absolutely false

[Anonymous No.15423732]

>>15423709
There's "I have health issues because I'm a fat piece of shit" and then there's "I did keto wrong and my organs shut down spontaneously" where you just fucking die.

[Anonymous No.15423739]

>>15423556
keto is gay and you are not fat because of carbs. You arw fat because you cant stop eating. Carbs are not the problem, its you.
With this in mind, good luck on your life changing adventure

[Anonymous No.15423740]

>>15423718
It literally does though, that's the whole way that it actually works. It's not inherently bad but you have to know what the fuck you're doing.

[Anonymous No.15423743]

>>15423678
>Bread is disgusting.
lmao, yeah, that must be why it's one of the most consumed staples all over the world

[Anonymous No.15423746]

>>15423556
I'd be careful about it

I stopped keto and just did intermittent fasting instead.

[Anonymous No.15423792]

>>15423739
based carb realist

[Anonymous No.15423794]

>>15423746
This is the most sustainable way desu

[Anonymous No.15423798]

>>15423739
You literally just restated what I already know and people in the thread have already beat you to the punch as well, but thanks, I guess.
>>15423746
>>15423732
>>15423740
I'm sure seeing a doctor would be the easiest route, but I'd rather do the research if I can. How exactly am I to be careful about it? I mostly understand that it's mostly about "Ketosis" rather than simply just cutting carbs, but I'm also skeptical on just how much it's going to affect me just by changing what I eat. At this point, eating anything different will be a drastic improvement so I'm not really worried that much just yet despite your warnings.

[Anonymous No.15423842]

>>15423798
If you suddenly changed from fueling your car with gasoline to using pure ethanol how much do you think it would affect it?

[Anonymous No.15423848]

>>15423709
Deep diving into keto is probably not the most productive approach. It takes the choice fatigue out of the way since 90% of the food is now verboten, but the restrictive nature makes it way harder to stay on track and make it into a lifestyle. Most people bounce back to old diet once they are done with keto since they did not learn shit outside of carbs are the devil. 4chan is the worst place for a reasonable diet since everyone here is a fucking minmaxing faggot that will have your head for buying canned stuff, but try to slowly incorporate more vegetables into your meals. For now it does not matter if they're fresh, frozen or canned, just try new things and see what works for you. Count calories to learn what is calorie dense, don't beat yourself over if you go over your daily intake. Over time you'll get better at choosing and preparing more filling food that has less calories, it's not a fucking race so or now just learn that shit.
And try oatmeal with protein powder of your liking and some fruit, easy as fuck, filling and tasty if you've got the right protein

[Anonymous No.15423896]

I tried a whole bunch of dumb shit, lettuce, giant mushrooms, making my own bread with coconut flour (never got them to raise) - in the end I gave up and just started eating steak with a side of kidney beans or eggs whatever, I did it for about 3 months before I got bored - lost about 70 pounds... the biggest dietary difference was that I was basically forced to cook or go hungry, and I stopped drinking energy drinks

[Anonymous No.15423909]

>>15423848
Since I've been looking at carbs recently, I've also been looking at calories as well. Everything seems so easy when I read shit, and yet here I am. Limiting my choices is definitely one of the biggest appeals that I've seen for keto but I don't know, I'm hopeful that making a change like that is enough to help me stay on track mentally. I'd like to say this is at least a part of me attempting to try shit instead of doing nothing, even if it fails.

What is oatmeal with protein powder supposed to achieve exactly?

[Anonymous No.15423943]

>>15423556
Besides no carb, you also have to not eat proteins in excess. Do you believe you can do that.

[Anonymous No.15423958]

>>15423909
You know yourself the best, go for keto if you don't expect to find yourself balls deep in nutella jar two weeks in, or try to slowly incorporate more healthy and filling shit.

>What is oatmeal with protein powder supposed to achieve exactly?
Nothing in particular, just the first recipe that was on the top of my head that takes care of breakfast, is quick, easy, tasty and filling as fuck.

[Anonymous No.15424017]

>>15423556
>Lettuce instead of bread for a sandwich makes total sense
Just eat the contents of the sandwich with a fork and knife.
>I like cream cheese but now what am I supposed to do with it?
Eat it with a spoon if you must, or find other things to pair it with like pork rinds.
>Same with peanut butter?
Same answer as with cream cheese, except probably don't put it on pork rinds.

There are such things as low-carb bread and low-carb tortillas that are keto friendly (often as little as 1g net carbs per slice), but going the route of replacing non-keto foods with keto equivalents will just leave you feeling unsatisfied because the replacements won't taste as good. Instead, actually shift your diet to a keto one entirely and stop clinging to your old staples because you'll find new ones.

[Anonymous No.15424185]

>>15423665
that won't work because the idea is to go into ketosis

[Anonymous No.15424210]

>>15423556
>I don't want to cook anything
Tough shit. Time to learn.

[Anonymous No.15424215]

>>15424185
I do believe he meant "just learn keto." As in, stop trying to bring all the food you eat now into a keto diet and instead evaluate what foods you can eat that are already keto.

[Anonymous No.15424236]

>>15423556
you don't have to do this meme diet, just stop eating fast food and most importantly sweet shit / soda

[Anonymous No.15424250]

>CARBS BAD
God I am looking forward to when this wank is debunked in 9 years and I don't have to hear morons shouting it literally every time food is mentioned in conversation.

[Anonymous No.15424259]

>>15424017
>pair it with like pork rinds
Thanks, but I forgot to mention I don't eat porcine meats

>>15423958
Yeah nah, no carbs for me thanks

[Anonymous No.15424264]

>>15424210

[Anonymous No.15424267]

>>15424259
>I don't eat porcine meats
Well good news, because pork rinds are pig skin and thus technically not meat which is muscle tissue.

[Anonymous No.15424278]

>>15423641
Not keto despite the labeling

[Anonymous No.15424279]

>>15424259
The fuck? Why are you pretending to be me? I definitely do eat pork.

[Anonymous No.15424288]

>>15424250
>CARBS BAD
Actually, it's more like DIABETES BAD

[Anonymous No.15424291]

>>15423674
>keto actually fucks with your body's natural processes
Lol what kinda phrasing is this? Metabolic ketosis is a natural process. One that your body uses fare too rarely in our modern food rich environments. What do you think happened to people during famine or winter between 1,000,000 BC and 1930?
People would go months eating nothing but lard and cabbage cause that’s all they had.

[Anonymous No.15424296]

>>15424267
>Well good news, because pork rinds are pig skin and thus technically not meat which is muscle tissue
It's still considered to be profane in my culture, so it's a no from me.

[Anonymous No.15424329]

>>15423556
OP BTFO'd
https://www.naturalovens.com/18oz-keto-bread/80653/

tastes like actual bread too

[Anonymous No.15424336]

>>15424329
How does that btfo me?

[Anonymous No.15424343]

>>15424336
>Lettuce instead of bread for a sandwich makes total sense, but what about everything else? I like cream cheese but now what am I supposed to do with it? Same with peanut butter? Celery? Surely there's more than that.

[Anonymous No.15424347]

>>15424329
I don't think so.
I'm trying to quit carbs not keep eating breads.
Thinking about just blending my meals and drinking them.

[Anonymous No.15424365]

>>15424347
>I'm trying to quit carbs not keep eating breads.
Y? carbs aren't bad, they are just calorie dense. the keto bread also as much fewer calories.

T. I've done keto, it was cool

[Anonymous No.15424367]

>>15424343
Leave me alone you bully.
I know what I'm doing and don't need you trying to ridicule me on the computer

[Anonymous No.15424375]

>>15424347
>>15424367
Does this kind of thing happen a lot on ck? People roleplaying as OP and saying weird shit?

[Anonymous No.15424381]

>>15424279
he's a troll who tries to derail threads by bragging about being muslim

[Anonymous No.15424412]

>>15424381
Oh, that's crazy.
I'm just trying to lose the fatty.
I have got this book too which has helped a lot.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Lose-Weight-Patterson-Way/dp/1501036793

Check out the reviews if you like this kind of thing.

I don't eat pork either btw

[Anonymous No.15424425]

>>15424365
Insulin response is highest from carbs

[Anonymous No.15424427]

>>15424347
>Thinking about just blending my meals and drinking them.
Look up Keto Chow if you're actually interested in such a concept.

[Anonymous No.15424597]

>>15423739
>You're fat because you eat too much

No shit, anon. What makes keto so easy to lose weight on is how satiated eating fat and protein makes you compared to carbs. Eating 2000 calories worth of meat will fill you up for a day and a half, 2000 calories of starch and sugar will have you ready for more in a couple hours.

[Anonymous No.15424698]

>>15424278
Please explain

[Anonymous No.15424765]

>>15424698
He's just a dummy who doesn't understand that despite fiber being listed under the Carbohydrate category, they don't count for the purposes of keto because fiber isn't metabolized and has no effect on blood sugar or insulin. Hence the term "net carbs," because fiber is added to the total carb count on American nutritional labels you have to subtract it to get the number of true (blood sugar- and insulin-affecting) carbs. I'm willing to bet he looked at the total carb count, didn't subtract the fiber, and then declared it non-keto.

[Anonymous No.15425229]

Keto's easy brahs

[Anonymous No.15425257]

>>15423556
Just go lift weights lol

[Anonymous No.15425259]

>>15424597
based keto retard

[Anonymous No.15425280]

When you can shrug over 800 lbs, do you really think anyone cares what your diet is? Just go lift weights lol

[Anonymous No.15425286]

>>15425229
On a more serious note, I'm having a great time with it, so far. You basically replace bread and rice with eggs and vegetables. Like this is a fish taco bowl I did for lunch, with cauliflower and broccoli for the base, mexican cheese in the middle, and some tilapia I did in the instant pot on top. Not the most filling meal, so I scrambled a few eggs later and was totally full for the rest of the day on like 400-500 calories total. I think it's a good example of "how to move shit into your mouth without bread." Haven't been counting calories precisely, just estimating, but I'm losing weight and am hardly ever hungry. This is after drinking 2 Dr. Peppers a day for probably 13 years. If I can give up carbs, anyone can.

Just be sure to eat avocados frequently since otherwise you'll get no potassium and such.

[Anonymous No.15425306]

>>15425286
And I don't personally have experience with it, but people over in >>>/fit/fat have been talking about chaffles lately. Basically it's just egg and cheese smithed in the waffle iron forge. You can do that too sometimes, though it seems like it'd be hard to clean; not sure.

[Anonymous No.15425408]

Tried keto for two weeks. Lost about 10 lbs but was tired as fuck all the time so I quit it. I'd rather be overweight and actually have energy to do things.

[Anonymous No.15425428]

>>15425408
That tiredness comes from your body being carb-adapted and not yet being fat-adapted. If you stick to keto for over a month that tiredness goes away and after 6-8 weeks you'll feel better than you did on a normal diet. that's how it was for me. Switching to ketones for energy is a big switch and your body has to adapt, which takes time. You've been primarily powering your body with carbs for your entire life, you think switching energy sources will just happen overnight?

[Anonymous No.15425443]

>>15425408
>didn't look up shit online first
Most of the negative shit you feel at first is due to electrolyte deficiency. You'd probably have gotten your energy back if you'd eaten avocados and shook more salt.

[Anonymous No.15425533]

>>15423556

Go intermittent fasting anon. A 4 or even 6 hours eating window will shrink your stomach and kill off your appetite, while at the same time allowing you to eat pretty much anything you want.

[Anonymous No.15425562]

>>15425533
The approach I'm going with is keto for a few months for weight loss, then transition to that sort of diet for maintenance. I had trouble losing weight on it because I just ate two fast food meals in that window anyways. Keto forces you to at least cut that shit out and get some better eating habits.

[Anonymous No.15425617]

>>15425562

Fast food should never be an option if you're trying to lose weight.

[Anonymous No.15425715]

Just count your calories you turd. Keto makes it easier I suppose because you can't ruin a day with fast food or little Debbie's, but you can still gain weight on keto.

[Anonymous No.15425716]

>>15423556
Diets are a meme, and won't really help you. You're just throwing out important parts of a balanced died and fucking with how your body naturally processes things.

If you really want to lose weight, do intermittent fasting, or start exercising.
Or just, you know, eat less.

[Anonymous No.15425723]

>>15423556
Keto's a meme, just cut down on carbs, fats and sugars, work out, and integrate a lot of different sources of protein, also start calorie counting, I'd say try to keep your day's caloric intake at half of your normal intake.

[Anonymous No.15425759]

>>15425723

-500 calories of tdee is enough. Anon had pretty much zero self-control, the last thing he needs is more excuses to eat.

[Anonymous No.15426052]

>>15425723
Keto's only a meme in that it's roughly as effective (just a tiny bit more) than standard diets. The reason it gets talked about is because adherence rates are higher than normal diets every time it's studied. For babby's first willpower check, it's a pretty good choice. It teaches you to read nutrition labels and forces you to learn to cook some valuable tasty shit. It's probably not great as a long term diet, but as a motivator for breaking bad eating habits, it's pretty great. It also lowers blood sugar pretty rapidly, which is definitely good for most people considering it.

[Anonymous No.15426238]

On topic querry, is "dirty" keto a real thing or something fatties made up? I saw some bitch talking about doing a "dollar tree dirty keto haul" and when asked she said dirty keto is a form of keto aimed at people who can't afford "expensive" keto foods. Her haul was just a bunch of frozen junk food, off brand chips, slim jim type beef sticks etc.

[Anonymous No.15426282]

>>15426238
dirty keto is eating a lot of saturated fats and not really giving a fuck. other than that, there's no distinction.

[Anonymous No.15426314]

>>15425286
Pumpkin seeds are another good source of potassium. Lowest carbohydrate and highest protein content of all the nuts & seeds, too. Good 4 snax. When you get this all figured out your diet is more nutritionally balanced and full of vegetables than most people's. This is why it makes vegans seethe so hard.

[Anonymous No.15426352]

>>15426314
Thanks anon, I'll check pumpkin seeds out soon. The last avocados I got are still way too ripe so I've probably been low for a few days.

[Anonymous No.15426397]

>>15426352

[Anonymous No.15426592]

>>15424215
No, I meant lean keto. Jack Scalfani does it

[Anonymous No.15427199]

>>15425716
Based noita poster

[Anonymous No.15427728]

Go into massive debt and get lots of liposuction, OP. Then just eat right the rest of your life.
Fat cells never go away otherwise. They just drain and shrivel up, waiting for you to inflate them again. That's why you gain weight back super fast after crashing.

[Anonymous No.15428264]

>>15427728
>Fat cells never go away otherwise. They just drain and shrivel up, waiting for you to inflate them again.
Where do you people get this "science" from?

[Anonymous No.15428662]

>>15423556
Keto is retarded you dumb fat just eat less

[Anonymous No.15428677]

>>15423641
They can really trick retards into buying anything, huh?
>MEAT
>it’s not meat
>IMPOSSIBLE BURGER
>CARBS
>it’s not carbs
>KETO BREAD

WHERES MY NON CHEESE YOGHURT MILK EXTRACT PIG NIPPLE SUCKLED REAL CHEESE NYIIIIGGGGGAAAAAHHHHH

[Anonymous No.15428709]

>>15423641
We're reaching vegan levels of cope here

[Anonymous No.15428730]

>>15423943
You know damn well he'll use this as an excuse to eat bacon and jerky all day.

[Anonymous No.15428750]

>>15428677
Are you okay?

[Anonymous No.15428752]

>>15428730
Every diet is an excuse nowadays. Unless you’re actually just cutting back on food overall, a “diet” is a meme thing to post about on your Twatter so people know what you stand for. Vegan for “morally superior ethical people”, keto for “fit bros”, nofap for “turbo-virgins”. It’s all just a flavor for social media.

[Anonymous No.15428760]

>>15423556
imagine not being able to figure out how to eat meat and cheese

this is what anime does to a mf

[Anonymous No.15428764]

>>15428752
>nofap is a diet
I think your virtue signaling would actually fit in quite well with social medias.

[Anonymous No.15428773]

>>15428764
>the joke

>your mom’s asshole (
>me
)

[Anonymous No.15428829]

>>15423943
>you also have to not eat proteins in excess
False, this is based on the faulty idea that gluconeogenesis (the process of turning amino acids into glucose when no exogenous glucose is present) is a supply-based process and taking in too much protein will create an excess of glucose in your body.
Gluconeogenesis is a DEMAND-BASED process, meaning the body only synthesizes amino acids into glucose when necessary and only synthesizes the amount it needs each time, meaning no excesses will occur.

In fact, overeating fat and under-eating protein is one of the biggest mistakes keto newbies make, thanks to this myth spreading around so popularly. This is why you get the retards who add butter and oil to literally everything including their coffee while they waste away on protein deficiencies. Fat should not be your primary macro, protein should be; get enough protein (reach or exceed the minimum amount you need based on body mass) and then fat will naturally just take up the rest of your calories. In terms of grams, a proper keto diet should involve eating more grams of protein than fat at the end of the day.

Now, there is an exception to this, which is therapeutic keto diets for children with epilepsy. Those diets have to be carefully monitored with specific ratios of protein to fat to carbs and too much protein can cause problems with their medical condition. But if you don't have epilepsy then none of this applies and you shouldn't be following therapeutic keto guidelines to begin with and just refer to my previous couple paragraphs above.

[Anonymous No.15428888]

>>15428829
Everyone I see who talks about keto knows that their daily fat allowance is a limit, not a target. I think over time they need less butter and oil to feel full off of a meal, too, as their body adjusts.

[Anonymous No.15428988]

>>15428888
>Everyone I see who talks about keto knows that their daily fat allowance is a limit, not a target.
That's why I mentioned it's a common newbie mistake, limiting protein and eating excessive fat. Anyone actually serious about keto learns this lesson early on and figures out that keto is actually a high-protein diet, but because so many newbies make the mistake, and it's people who are new to something that are likely to talk about it the loudest and most frequently, people from the outside with little knowledge of the subject take that to be the truth. It doesn't help that it's easy to find information on therapeutic keto for epileptic children and confuse it with a keto diet for healthy adults.

[Anonymous No.15429142]

>>15428829
You are wrong. The other guy is right.

[Anonymous No.15429272]

>>15429142
excess fat < excess protein
fact.

[Anonymous No.15429561]

Friendly reminder if you are eating bread for anything other than a treat or possibly a way to barely keep your fingers clean, you are wrong. Meat should be ~85% of your diet along with dairy/cheeses. The rest nuts and fruits and maybe a vegetable.

[Anonymous No.15429710]

Imagine being such a fat fuck with no self control that you have to consciously limit what you can or can't eat instead of just eating whatever the fuck you feel like and knowing how to stop without overdoing it.

>>15429561
This kind of thinking is so depressing. Don't mind me, just casually enjoying bread at every opportunity and not being an obese sack of shit.