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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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15669684 No.15669684 [Reply] [Original]

Gordon Ramsay is on his way to your house RIGHT NOW, very excited to meet you and taste some of your food. What do you cook to impress him?

>> No.15669731

Toast Sandwich.

>> No.15669736

I just finished my ragu that's been slow cooking all day. I'd let him have a bowl

>> No.15669739

>>15669684
I quickly order pizza from pizza hut and pass it off as my own

>> No.15669742

Grilled cheese

>> No.15669751

>>15669684
A real grilled cheese

>> No.15669752

>>15669684
>What do you cook to impress him?
Fuck all.
He's the chef, he needs to cook and impress me.

>> No.15669759

>>15669752
based

>> No.15669770

>>15669742
>>15669751
Based and MELTpilled.

>> No.15669784

>>15669739
SKINNER!

>> No.15669791

>>15669684
I shoot him at the door. fuck the british.

>> No.15669832

>>15669791
Based

>> No.15669835

>>15669684
I poop on a paper plate and put chives on it also when he gets here I show him the blackmail material I have of him so he is forced to eat it so I don’t leak everything online

>> No.15669857
File: 2.47 MB, 640x360, burgah, hot.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15669857

>>15669684
A nice tasty burgah

>> No.15669865

>>15669857
Based ja/ck/poster

>> No.15670021

I'd give him the ole' NY style pizza. I make fresh dough weekly and always use restaurant quality ingredients.

>> No.15670069

>>15669684
Give me 8 hours and you can have some slow cooker chili.

>> No.15670072

>>15669752
based

>> No.15670113

>>15669684
Eatable scrambled eggs.

>> No.15670118

>>15669857
How's Jack still alive?
Why is everything so cheap he uses?
Why doesn't he use one single sharp knife?

His website is for sale btw.

>> No.15670124

>>15669684
A knuckle sandwich

>> No.15670144

>>15670118
downwithjackscalfani.wordpress.com/

>> No.15670911
File: 83 KB, 1280x720, jamesmay.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15670911

>>15669684
A treat of his people. Maybe it would calm him down. Maybe he has been looking for Bong foods all along.

>> No.15670918

>>15670118
>Why doesn't he use one single sharp knife?
They don't stay sharp long when he cuts directly onto the plate.

>> No.15670920

>>15669684
I serve him a grilled cheese and punch him in the face as hard as possible.

>> No.15670924

>>15670118
>Why doesn't he use one single sharp knife?
Lacking the loicense?

>> No.15670933
File: 355 KB, 2048x1375, b25lY21zOjVkODdmMjg3LTdjYjUtNDQ0MS04YzJlLWZjYTUzNDNiNzczODo0MjEyYWFmMS0zYWRiLTRjZDYtYTk3NC0xM2Y0ODhjZTBlZjg=.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15670933

I'd ask him to leave. He's a reddit-tier celebrity now.

Why does reddit fawn over him? He's the definition of "toxic masculinity". They even refer to him as "chef Ramsay" bunch of cucks.

>> No.15670944

>>15670933
>toxic masculinity
YWNBAW

>> No.15671114

I have chicken breast that expired yesterday and some mushrooms. I'd make a mushroom chicken noodle type of deal. If the chicken was actually bad the whole meal will turn into a race of who gets to the toilet first. If he wins I will drag him from the toilet while he is shitting and wrestle with him while I empty my bowels. The liquid shit will act as a lubricant :)

>> No.15671120
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15671120

>>15670944
anon, you might want to read the post before seeing a buzzword and being quick to reply.

>> No.15671136

>>15670944
Are you illiterate? Did the significance of quotation marks fly over your head?

>> No.15671155

I used to think Gordon was a pussy bitch but when I watched him Firing and Abusing his own chefs and waiters in Boiling Point I realized he was based and our guy

>> No.15671359
File: 37 KB, 560x315, large_1573206779-1f73b96891.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15671359

>>15669684
buckwheat and cheap hot dogs for that pretentious british bitch served on paper plate

>> No.15671364

>>15671359
that's clearly a styrofoam plate ding dong

>> No.15671417

Bone in tomahawk veal chop grilled on well seasoned cast iron stuffed with sautéed spinach and whole milk mozzarella with a side of linguini Aglio e Olio. I cook better than Gordon so he will recognize quickly that he has been mogged beyond repair.

>> No.15671430

My patented hotdog with red, white and blue Colgate sauce.

>> No.15671485

>>15669684
Grilled cheese

>> No.15671507

Trouser snake.

>> No.15671536

>>15669684
When he comes all of the lights will be off and I'll be hiding behind the door. As soon as he enters, I will initiate tactical combat, pressing my karambit to his throat and forcing him to the floor. Then the real kitchen nightmares will begin.

>> No.15671620

>>15671364
no you moron, I ate at that location, they serve in paper plate

>> No.15671638

>>15669684
Pizza rolls

>> No.15671652

I answer the door naked except for an cowboy hat, holding a gun in one hand, bottle of liquor in the other, sporting a full erection, and proceed to call him a euro faggot.

>> No.15671735

>>15669684
ramen noodle soup

>> No.15671737

>>15669684
egg

>> No.15671792
File: 43 KB, 460x460, big_bobs_cockmeat_sandwich_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15671792

First off if hes a new comer I could offer his Syrup or Jelly. I prefer Jelly
https://youtu.be/ItAzJD0o9NQ

>> No.15671807

Hawaiian deep dish pizza.

>> No.15671821

>>15671792
You don't have to reference the clip. everyone knows it from the Chris Rock stand up.

>> No.15672016

>>15671792
The most hazardous thing in prison life is being in debt over drugs. It can get you get you killed or raped, one or the other if they can't pay. I had one opportunity where three guys, two of who owed me money, right. So I knew I couldn't get them together. So what I did I got one one day, on a Saturday, I sucked his dick in a closet, you know what I'm saying. I sucked his dick, you know he had his pants down, He helpless! That's it he is helpless, right. His dick is hard I'm sucking on it, right. I came right up and I cut him and that's where I left the man in the closet. He didn't tell because he couldn't explain, how could he explain that a fag was sucking his dick and come up and cut him. He couldn't explain that! There is no way in hell he could explain that to the administration.

>> No.15673405

>>15669684
Bullet to his head, no one enters my property without invite.

>> No.15673890

Hot dog topped with Crest toothpaste.

>> No.15673922
File: 103 KB, 1200x900, 0BDB149F-3810-4198-BFCF-DF93FD63DFDC.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15673922

>>15669684
I’d make him a real grilled cheese and give him grief for doing an overcomplicated one.

>> No.15674084

>>15671652
Based and patriotpilled

>> No.15674151

>>15669684
My world famous bologna pho

>> No.15674236

>>15669784
Aurora borealis

>> No.15674338

>>15673922
You beat me to the punchline. Also check'em dubs.>>15673922

>> No.15674353

>>15669684
A bowl of eggs. He can leaves when he finishes all of them.

>> No.15674392

>>15670144
Holy shit, this goes back to 2007 lmao. Desperately needs an update.

>> No.15674717

>>15669684
Something classic and fresh. Or fresh and classic.
Fuck that. I’d force feed him my oyster kimchi until he shit his pants.

>> No.15674975

>>15669684
Korean bbq pig feet mac and cheese.

>> No.15674995

>>15669684
Rotini and jarred alfredo
With my secret ingredient, fry some minced garlic (jarred) in the pan before adding the sauce. He's sure to love it

>> No.15675523

Pull out a London broil from the freezer.
Defrost in Microwave on quick defrost.
Pan fry on Medium-low to cook the meat.
Put in oven at 360 for 45 minutes to intensify flavor.
Make Kraft.
Pull London Broil out and cut with the grain.
Dish up London Broil and Kraft and squeeze ketchup all over it.

>> No.15675885

>>15669684
a proper fucking grilled cheese

>> No.15675916
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15675916

>>15671536

>> No.15675928

>>15670113
Stole my answer. Show him that scrambled eggs can exist somewhere between "dry" and "lukewarm egg gruel poured on toast".

>> No.15676104

>>15669684
a brick, thrown right at his stupid british face

>> No.15676519

>>15669684
A hug
I don't have any food

>> No.15676529

>>15669684
Try to poison that british cocksucker

>> No.15676685

>>15669684
da perfick sloidahs, incredible

>> No.15677391

Beans on a toast, with a side of french fries in toast and toast sandwich as a dessert.

>> No.15678496

>>15669684
Frozen pizza, I can't afford anything else

>> No.15679941

>>15669684
He wouldn't eat anything from my place. However I would pester him to no end for cooking advice, so far he's been right.

>> No.15679950

>>15669684
pull out my cock

>> No.15679952

I cook a nice melted cheese sandwich, cooked in a fireplace with a fire a little too high

>> No.15680037
File: 1.06 MB, 1200x1200, 1601912574836.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15680037

“Look, having kimchi — my uncle was a great sous chef and home cook and fermenter, Chef Don Ramsay at Le Cordon Bleu; good flavors, very good flavors, OK, very flavorful, the Le Cordon Bleu, very good, very flavorful — you know, if you’re a pescatarian, if I were a vegetarian, if, like, OK, if I cooked as a vegetarian, they would say I’m one of the best chefs anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a pescatarian they try — oh, do they do a 86 — that’s why I always start off: Went to Le Cordon Bleu, was a good cook, ate this, ate this, cooked this, baked a cake — you know I have to give my like recipes all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the kimchi, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these hard cheeses are — kimchi is so pungent; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the pungency and that was 35 years ago; he would explain how the fermentation was going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what’s going on with the four Lokos — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the yolk; eggs, and it is eggs because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the yolks are tastier right now than the whites, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 degrees — but the Persians are great cooks, the Iranians are great cooks, so, and they, they just burned it, they just burned it, this is horrible.”

>> No.15680138

>>15669684
Carbonara. He will kneel.

>> No.15680475

A grilled cheese sandwich.

>> No.15680550

>A lot of grilled cheese replies
>Search for Ramsay's grilled cheese video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E4cQHejFq0
Is this really it? It honestly looks delicious, how did this become a meme

>> No.15681555

>>15680550
It's a meme because the cheese looks completely solid, ruining the point of a grilled cheese sandwich

It's gonna taste good, but it's really just toast and cheese

>> No.15681584
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15681584

Only the finest McSpaghetti, of course

>> No.15682695

>>15676519
I'd give you a hug too anon

>> No.15682724

Beans on toast since he is an Englishman.

>> No.15682766

>>15681584
what planet is this from?

>> No.15682944

>>15682766
McEarth

>> No.15684922

>>15670933
>Thing/person is too popular so I hate it/them
Wow, you're so unique and interesting.

>> No.15685447

>>15669684

>cooking for him when he's on the way over, instead just waiting for him to make you something

ngmi OP

>> No.15686659

>>15682944
Ur mom sucked my fat cock through my McJorts

>> No.15686990

>>15680550
He's such a whiney girl when it's about other peoples food and then he presents this uncooked burned toast as a delicious meal. This and the burger are a meme for this reason.

>> No.15687016

>>15686659
kek

>> No.15687061

>>15674236
isotonic excercise

>> No.15687066

>>15669684
I'd make him a cottage pie, but i'd use lamb instead of beef, and vehemently disagree when he called it a shepherd's pie

>> No.15687231
File: 66 KB, 1392x780, how-to-grilled-cheese-1392-x780.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15687231

>>15669684

>> No.15687246

peas and cum, my specialty

>> No.15687257

i heat up my nuru gel cuz i'm getting a ramsay ride

>> No.15687259

>>15669857
>That piece of raw meat that falls out as he cuts it

>> No.15687267

Andy Capp's Hot Fries since he didn't give me advance warning. Bitch be rude.

>> No.15687342

>>15669684
I would need more time, I need to make some dinner rolls or hamburger buns, if I make buns I would need to make some burgers, saute some onions to go with it, pick up some smoked gouda for it.

>> No.15687394
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15687394

>>15671536

>> No.15689091

>>15687231
Doesn't look very good but still better than his lmfao