/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.16087948]

I swear, Panda Express always has the worst fortunes I've seen from any Asian joint.

[Anonymous No.16087967]

Almost all the fortune cookies nowadays suck ass. I'm surprised if they're even fortunes at all at this point 95% of the time it's some bullshit platitude

[Anonymous No.16087974]

>>16087967
>platitude
holy shit you incels are a sideshow unto yourselves

[Anonymous No.16087976]

>>16087967
I once got a fortune from chin chin that said something along the lines of "be vigilant three months from today" and couldn't stop thinking about it. Nothing happened on that exact day but a lot of good things happened approaching and after the day.

[Anonymous No.16087987]

>>16087948
I once got a fortune that said "fuck the police" and it was spot on, fuck the pigs

[Anonymous No.16087989]

>>16087974
I fail to see what that has to do with inceldom, but you do you.

[Anonymous No.16088003]

>>16087989

[Anonymous No.16088009]

>>16087974
Take your meds

[Anonymous No.16088013]

>>16088009
>>16087989
I'm the one who's going to make your life real difficult from now on if you don't tow the line, country boy

[Anonymous No.16088020]

>>16088013
k.jpg

[I'm Special Deputy Charlie Rak(...) No.16088027]

>>16088020
fucking hick

[Anonymous No.16088030]

>>16087948
>open fortune cookie
>"You will pace back and forth and say 'what'd you say?' out loud. They'll come for you if you don't"

[Anonymous No.16088040]

>>16087948
Fuck, I'm trying to remember the one I had over the weekend....
It wasnt even a fucking fortune, but some lame ass joke that didnt make much sense.
Damnit I cant remember.
Anyways yeah, they suck major balls lately. I dont remember them being so shitty when I was a kid.

[Anonymous No.16088042]

>>16087948
>opens fortune cookie
>(coughs) on it
God damn it.

[Tales from discord cont. No.16088074]

>>16087948
...in bed.

[Anonymous No.16088185]

>>16088074
"... except in bed" was always my favourite fortune cookie game.

[Anonymous No.16088199]

>>16087948
Oh wow look at mine

[Anonymous No.16088250]

>>16087987
I'd fuck a female pig

[Anonymous No.16088333]

wtf is this thread

[Anonymous No.16088606]

>>16087989
>but you do you
The trademark of an incel too afraid to express an opinion without a postface

Also, hello Adam

[Anonymous No.16088646]

>>16087948
Last fortune cookie i got literally said "you will never have to worry about your income" fucking LIES

[Anonymous No.16088650]

>>16087989
>You do you
CRINGE

[Anonymous No.16088668]

>>16087948
So it's on par with the rest of the experience?

[Anonymous No.16088676]

>>16088040
The last fortune cookie I had said something along the lines of "You are an outgoing and friendly person"
Aside from being horribly incorrect, that's not even a fortune.

[Anonymous No.16088685]

>>16087976
I think that fortune tried to tell you something. It means "If you spend too long only focused on the goal, you'll miss the fun and growth of the journey."

[Anonymous No.16088746]

>>16088606
>The trademark of an incel too afraid to express an opinion
>literally posted one of the most leftie retorts in existence
Unless incels are suddenly leftwing now.

[Anonymous No.16088867]

>>16088746
I don't know what you're going on about, but you do you

[Anonymous No.16088872]

>>16088746
Incels aren't a politically aligned collective, anon.

[Anonymous No.16088874]

>>16088867
Thanks, I will.

[Anonymous No.16088878]

>>16088872
Yes they are. They're inherently aligned to right-wing populism and drinking American republican Kool-aid. Unless that changed recently.

[Anonymous No.16088884]

>>16088872
what the fuck bullshit are you reading. incels have always been political. they actually started out as a feminist group before becoming a trump cult.

[Anonymous No.16088894]

Taped to my wall because irony:
> :) You wil enjoy good health, you will be surrounded by luxury :)

[Anonymous No.16089061]

>>16087948
Will I get a gf?

[Anonymous No.16089797]

>>16089061
only if dubs

[Anonymous No.16089898]

>>16089797
Check 'em. Winrar.

[Anonymous No.16089920]

>>16088040
I remember it now!.....
>Imagine how much deeper the ocean would be if there were less sponges
Wtf is this bullshit
>>16088676

[Anonymous No.16090544]

>>16089797
What about me?

[Anonymous No.16090560]

>boomers even get nostalgic over paper filled corn syrup biscuits
Alright grandpa, give me some examples of "good" fortune cookie fortunes.

[Anonymous No.16090569]

>>16087948
I got the worst fortune they've ever made, I mean seriously, it was fucking horrible. What kind of fortune is "Reply to this post or your mother will die tonight"

[Anonymous No.16090628]

>>16088333
>a huge slice of brie / other soft cheese
>a whole steak
yeah, sure, and my school gave me a 3 michelin star cuisine when i attended.

[Anonymous No.16091730]

>>16090560
>The woman does not exist of whose beauty all men shall agree upon.
Try a chocolate baci

[Anonymous No.16091750]

>>16089797
Ffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

[Anonymous No.16091851]

>>16087948
What I remember as chinese food growing up as a young kid in Hong Kong

>turtle/shark fin soup
>fried chicken feet
>pig uterus noodles
>fried rice with pork knuckle gristle
>unidentifed fish balls on a stick
>boiled dog meat
>one time, monkey brains

Americans have no idea how bad it really is. No one in china knows what the fuck beef and broccoli is or sweet and sour pork. Chinese food is disgusting. Literally the worst parts to eat of any animal. Makes sense because chinks are the race of humans closest to animals. They make disgusting noises when they eat, slurp everything, men in the streets lift their fucking wife beaters over their sweaty stomachs while laughing and chewing with their mouths full of food. Like what kind of idiot decided 2 sticks is the most practical way to eat grains of fucking rice. Starving Nigerians who eat grass have a better diet than the average chinese.

[Anonymous No.16091927]

>>16087948
Gain some air duster and clean your keyboard, you putting cookie paper on it makes sense.

[Anonymous No.16091985]

>>16090544

checked

[Anonymous No.16093374]

>>16087948
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/asian-america/after-three-decades-fortune-cookie-writer-passing-baton-n697831

this is why even regular places have shit cookies now. They're gone, anon

[Anonymous No.16093452]

>>16087948
At least it's a fortune. Half the chink food places nowadays give you a "fortune" that's not even a prophecy about the future. Shit like "you are a gregarious coworker" or "you have a nice smile".

[Anonymous No.16093896]

The worst part about Panda is when the Jew you on the portions

[Anonymous No.16094065]

>Every fortune cookie will look like this in 5 years
how will it feel product-kun?

[Anonymous No.16094561]

>>16094065
Somewhat ruins the mystique if there's an ad on the back.