Flavacol

[Anonymous No.16562342]

Whenever I go to the movie theater (once a year), I ask for extra butter. A lot. I ask for a disgusting amount of FLAVACOL by fucking name, and tell them they can charge me as much as I need to, load it up.
>I swear, once a year
>I've done the math and I put on about 4000 calories worth of the stuff
>that's like 5 days worth of salt
Now, the thing is, the local theater recently (past couple years) got these cuckpumps, where you have to go and pump it yourself.

This is unacceptable.

>Whenever I see these, I make SURE to hold up a line of people.
>My popcorn WILL be sopping wet, the bag transformed from container to mere colander, a waterfall of delicious profits cascading onto their carpet.
>There is chatter, glances, whispering, employees taking a peek and seeing, I presume, "the guy." You know the one, every business has one.
>I make sure there is a Flavacol™Nile Delta of delicious goo making a snail trail as I masqueraded through the crowded theater, disgusting all that see.
>The ticket checker absolutely rushing, praying it doesn't look like he just came on the floor, my movements spewing salty goodness everywhere.
>As I sit in the theater with my small treat to myself, I make sure to put my corn in the seat next to me, oozing on the seat to prevent anyone from interrupting me and sitting to the side or back of me
>I am a generally silent inconvenience to al around me in every possible way with one action
>The pourings shall continue until you get some fucking pumps behind the counter.
>The PoW (Person/Prisoner of Wage) will clean up my sticky, gooey mess, and they WILL be happy.

[Anonymous No.16562351]

TL;dr redditfag

This post has been garnished with sage.

[Anonymous No.16562356]

>>16562351
I'll garnish your asshole with my dick

[Anonymous No.16562711]

>4000 calories
>small treat

[Anonymous No.16562715]

>>16562342
>not just bringing a bucket for the 'col

[Anonymous No.16562725]

>>16562356
I'm sure I won't even notice

[Anonymous No.16562784]

I bought a carton of flavacol in 2009 and still have 1/2 of it left and make popcorn pretty often. You don't need much

[Anonymous No.16562791]

>>16562784
I bought mine 2 years ago and barely use it. Going to toss it since I am took the air pop popcorn pill

[Anonymous No.16562794]

>>16562791
>Not buttering and salting your air popped popcorn

[Anonymous No.16562796]

people will surely copy and paste it because it's so wacky and fun

[Anonymous No.16562818]

>>16562725
I wouldn't be surprised
your ass is so prolapsed already that another dick won't make any difference

[Anonymous No.16562820]

>>16562818
Cringe. Go back already.

[Anonymous No.16562829]

>>16562342
Can we add Flavacol Consumer to the theater meme?

[Anonymous No.16562830]

>>16562342
I make popcorn with this shit at my job, my sides are on the moon.

[Anonymous No.16562837]

>>16562818
A prolapsed anus is highly sensitive to even the slightest agitation. It's an extremely painful state.

[Anonymous No.16562922]

>>16562342
When I was a teen I was notorious in my friend group for making the most disgusting bags of popcorn (inb4 fat burger, I was way too skinny back then.) I would drench it in so much butter, salt, and what ever random ass shakers they had (yeast, FUCKING CARAMEL, etc.)

>One day a third party comes with my friends and I to the movie. This guy has always wanted to be a close friend of mine
>He sees me making my popcorn bag. He wants to impress me so he follows along.
>20 minutes into the movie I notice the guy is gone.
>Oh well, he is annoying to have around
>After the movie is over I go to the bathroom to piss
>See the dudes shoes in the stall.
>MFW My popcorn habit has lead him to shitting his brains out for the last hour and a half.
>Dude asks me to call his mom
wew

[Anonymous No.16563061]

>>16562711
Hes american