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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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[ERROR] No.16807228 [Reply] [Original]

I want to start eating breakfast but I also don't want to poop at work. Currently I just have a couple cups of coffee in the morning, piss when I get to work, piss after a few hours of work, and then I'm good until I get home. But I'm always hungry in the morning and never eat a big lunch. Is there a way to train your body so even if you eat breakfast you won't shit for 8+ hours? I'm thinking a basic 2 eggs/toasts.

>> No.16807247

Super niche question but yeah I eat breakfast in order to shit in the morning before I go to work, while I'm eating my breakfast I eat half of an anti-anti diarrheal pill (they're actually really cheap for how many you get from CVS/Publix) so I don't have to shit until I get home from work.

Idk but I hope this helps anon, I know where you're coming from.

>> No.16807253

>>16807247
fuck I typed anti twice but you know what I'm saying

>> No.16807257

Glass of water and strong coffee first thing in the morning. Shave, shit, shower, work.

>> No.16807258

Why wouldn't you want to shit at work?

>> No.16807273
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>>16807228
I eat bkfst and lunch w/ cups of dark coffee, a red bull and, usually, a few shots of whatever. I don't use the bathroom until I get home

>> No.16807275

>>16807247
Didn't think about anti poop pills. Any side effects or long term effects?
>>16807257
I shit in the morning but it's what I ate for dinner. If I eat breakfast I would poop that out at work and I don't want to prairie dog for hours

>> No.16807294

>>16807228
Why don't you want to poop at work? I'm confused.

>> No.16807296

>>16807228
Is there any reason you're so against pooping at work? Like it's fine man if you have to poop at work just poop at work. You're getting paid to poop at that point just consider it another break

>> No.16807335

>>16807258
>>16807294
>>16807296
The single bathrooms are usually busy (and nasty), right next to a busy hallway, and have terrible sound proofing. The public bathrooms are public and don't want people hearing my farts and shit splashing in the water.

>> No.16807350

>>16807335
So you're a pussy. You don't want people to hear your farts and shits? What are you, a bitch? You like cocks? Man the fuck up, faggot. Grunt those logs out with pride. Clap when you've passed the last loaf. Cheer when your cheeks are victorious.
Otherwise you can just chop your cock off and stuff a tampon in there to keep you from pooping at work like the woman you are.
Pussy.

>> No.16807351

>>16807296
Boss gets a dollar, I get a dime. That's why I shit on company time.

It's good in theory but in practice daily wrecking if the communal can is for Indians and pakis.

>> No.16807357

>>16807351
Can't fool me boy indians and pakis don't use toilets

>> No.16807371

>>16807357
Foreigners really do have no shame about shitting. Middle eastern dudes just walk by me into a stall while I'm washing my hands and let out massive diarrhea shits.

>> No.16807386

>>16807371
And that's cause they're real fucking men not the pantywaist goofs afraid to do God's honest work. The Lord gave you the birthright to shit. It's the third thing you did in your life after breathing and screaming, so own it.

>> No.16807413
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>>16807335

>> No.16807415

>>16807228
It normally takes longer than 24 hours to fully digest and poop something out. Whatever you poop out is probably what you ate yesterday.

You can look up "low residue diet" to learn more about that stuff though. I don't really know if it's healthy long-term, but it's basically a diet that minimizes how much you have to poop. Mostly meant for people with digestive issues. It's pretty much eating whatever animal products and refined plant foods that get rid of most of the fiber.

>> No.16807427

>>16807228
Try taking a fiber supplement in the morning, it should make you want to shit by days end

>> No.16807698

We could be evolving past the need to poop THIS LIFETIME but retards waste money on mars/neuroshit/helping boomers be useless just s bit longer.

>> No.16807716
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>why yes, I have a crippling dependency on anti-poop pills, how could you tell?

>> No.16808949

>>16807427
fiber is pro poop you take that in the morning and your dropping bombs at lunch. Anti poop pills plug you for a whole day

>> No.16808958

>>16807228
How old are you for you to shit once a day? I only shit once in two to three days and i'm in my early thirties.

>> No.16808979

>>16808958
Your diet must be godawful

>> No.16809019

>>16808958
I'm 40 and I go once, sometimes twice a day. If I don't go every day it becomes difficult to pass.

>> No.16809057

>>16808949
No, it's how you become regular. I take mine before bed in the evening and I always take a massive dump when I wake up the next day

>> No.16809100

>>16807228
I take a dump before I leave for work, works out for me