microbiome thread

[Anonymous No.16915010]

Guys, ever since I lost my appendix I have been worried about my microbiome
What do you eat to keep yours in tip top shape.
I have been eating cold boiled potatoes and kefir but thats about it
I am not a athlete if that matters

[Anonymous No.16915014]

>>16915010
Where'd you lose it?

[Anonymous No.16915022]

I don't drink alcohol or use antibiotics willy nilly.

[Anonymous No.16915034]

are you experiencing any GI-related symptoms? if not I wouldn't worry

[Anonymous No.16915051]

>>16915010
ive had mine out since i was 8 and I've had no poopy problems.

BUT if you wanna boost your microbiome, eat fermented foods or those with live bacteria cultures.

Plain yogurt, kimchi, kombucha, apple cider vinegar, etc.
Fibrous foods will help plunge out whatever is in there currently. Beans, broccoli, cauliflower, or fruits like apples, oranges, plums, and other berries.
Stay hydrated. Drink lots of water.
I wish you the best, shitter.
I don't know how you get down, but alcohol is not good for the intestines.

[Anonymous No.16915052]

>>16915010
lurking, I always love a good gut biome thread

[Anonymous No.16915540]

>>16915014
a middle aged white man cut me open and took it

[Anonymous No.16915545]

eat yogurt. ez

[Anonymous No.16915552]

>>16915010
Eat raw potaotes too, there are different kinds of resistant starches and cooked and cooled is just 1. Fermented vegetables and kefir is good too

[Anonymous No.16915556]

I had my appendix out a couple months back, eat what you want it doesn't make a difference

[Anonymous No.16915669]

>>16915556
Be careful anon, they found out a few years ago what the appendix is actually for and its to keep your gut biome in good shape and help in case your get really sick and lose the whole culture

[Anonymous No.16915671]

>>16915552
kefir is a scam. the bacteria in it are reliant on being in a group, which gets broken apart once its in your digestive system. they die off once they are separated

[Anonymous No.16915673]

Cum

[Anonymous No.16915768]

>>16915671
>which gets broken apart once its in your digestive system. they die off once they are separated
Where did you hear this?

[Anonymous No.16915865]

>>16915768
in second grade when we learned how the stomach works

[Anonymous No.16915938]

>>16915865
Well I dont think its true and would need to see a citation to sign off on the idea

[Anonymous No.16915947]

>>16915552
Potatoes contain toxins.

[Anonymous No.16915969]

I took a shit earlier today and then at the end of it I squirted out some mostly clear material that kinda looked like ripped up liquid scotch tape or something
Hopefully it was just some mucus or something

Anyways I didn't drink booze today for the first time in a few weeks, I think I'm gonna lay off it for a while

[Anonymous No.16915984]

>>16915014
If I knew that, it wouldn't be lost now would it?

[Anonymous No.16916120]

>>16915969
tapeworm?

[Anonymous No.16916171]

>>16916120
Nah it was like actually transparent, like I was chewing on plastic laminate or something, not white like worms would be
Also I don't have enough of an appetite or weight loss to warrant any concern of that

[Anonymous No.16916180]

I lost my appendix and most of my notes but shit still comes out.

[Anonymous No.16916190]

>>16915010
I eat the cliches: vegetables, root vegetables, fruit, berries and full grain every day. Yoghurt and sauerkraut and other fermented products usually too.

[Anonymous No.16916281]

>>16916180
>most of my notes
wut

[Anonymous No.16916516]

Kombucha brewing has marginally helped my gut health, just make sure you don’t by store bought as it’s pasteurized thus pointless. Making a bunch of kimchi to mix with rice is a quick, cheap, and easy way to get quality fermented vegetables into your diet.

Vitamin D supplementation, avoiding empty carbs or trash meals, moderating sugar intake, exercise, and increasing vegetable or fermented food intake all seem to help.

[Anonymous No.16917143]

>>16915947
Only if theyre exposed to sunlight

[Anonymous No.16917185]

Kimchi is alright. Also eat a large variety of food, the more varied the more diverse and strong the guts.

[Anonymous No.16917695]

>>16916516
Making your own kombucha is cheap and easy. Getting into it made me realize what a grift those $5 commercial bottles are.

[Anonymous No.16917725]

>>16917695
Do you have any good recipes you followed?

[Anonymous No.16917789]

>>16915010
Anyone know how to make kefir without getting diarrhea from food poisoning.

[Anonymous No.16917831]

>>16915010
Ghost peppers

Badness cannot survive inside of me

[Anonymous No.16918081]

>>16917789
Just get the grains and start.
Hard to do it wrong

[Anonymous No.16918101]

how do you lose your appendix? like niqqa just go look for it

[Anonymous No.16918106]

>>16915984
Think of the last time you had it.

[Anonymous No.16918140]

incredible that no one has said fiber.

just eat a lot of veggies, beans, fruits, and whole grains

[Anonymous No.16918170]

>>16915010
cum

[Anonymous No.16918203]

>>16918081
last time a kefir anon made it and he had intense diarrhea for an entire day.

he also usually ate storebought kefir before.

[Anonymous No.16918218]

>>16918203
I think he may have been lying.

[Anonymous No.16918284]

>>16918218
no he wasn't he said the milk was smelly.

theres no way kefir anon would lie to me. I think he likes me so why would he.

[Anonymous No.16918301]

>>16918284
Well anon, I like you also and would never lie to you.
Kefir does not hurt you . it loves you

[Anonymous No.16918401]

>>16918301
>Well anon, I like you also
anon...you are so forward. I'm blushing a bit. I never had anyone tell me they like me to my face like this before.

[Anonymous No.16918427]

Gut biome is a forced meme used to sell women snake oil supplements. Eat McDonald's, eat yogurt, it doesn't make a difference.

[Anonymous No.16918588]

>>16918301
ANON get back here and aren't you going to do anything???

>>16918427
idk about that anon

[Anonymous No.16918603]

>>16918401
>I never had anyone tell me they like me to my face like this before.


Well you better get used to it anon, you are a pretty great person and people are starting to notice

[Anonymous No.16918607]

>>16918603
>Well you better get used to it anon, you are a pretty great person and people are starting to notice

W-well do you want to show off how much you like me then?

[Anonymous No.16918642]

>>16918603

[Anonymous No.16918825]

>>16915010
how do you cold boil potatoes? liquid nitrogen? what kind of hipster bullshit are you on?

[Anonymous No.16918864]

>>16918603
wtf anon why do you keep dodging me!!!

>>16918607
>>16918642

[Anonymous No.16918877]

Just eat a healthy diet with plenty of fruit, vegetables, nuts and whole grains and the like. You know, what you’re suppose to eat normally.

If you don’t have any GI symptoms I don’t know why you’d be worried. This seems like a pathological concern to be honest. Just eat properly, exercise and take care of yourself. Purposefully modifying your gut microbiome based on little evidence or necessity doesn’t make any sense.

[Anonymous No.16918894]

>>16918877
do you ever have poop where you just get a hard piece of poop in the front, and then you just start pooping out mud?

Isn't that a gut biome problem

[Anonymous No.16918907]

>>16918894
You can’t base your overall health on single shits. Not everything is an existential problem that requires buying specific remedies and spending inordinate amount of time and energy fussing over.

Eat well, exercise, drink plenty of water and get good sleep. Be productive, give back to others, engage in things that are spiritually, socially and intellectually fulfilling. Spend more time outside and less time behind a screen.

[Anonymous No.16918913]

>>16915010
>my microbiome
>What do you eat to keep yours in tip top shape.

The main things are the following
>Don't eat processed food
No refined sugars. No oil. Especially no heated oils. Just eat foods that have good fats in them. If you want apple juice, just eat an apple and get everything else, the water, the fiber, the chewing.
Insoluble fiber is something the little critters in your gut feed on.
>Fermented vegetables
Watch your salt intake here
>Keep a routine
Get light when you wake up and stay in the dark and away from blue light a few hours before bed. The microbes have a circadian rhythm just like you. You'll notice when you miss a lot of sleep from stress you'll usually take a big, sloppy shit that day cause you're gut is out of whack.
>Fast every half a year or so
When it's meal time but your gut has a 'full' feeling and nothing sounds appetizing just don't eat till you get hungry. If you go longer than two days with no food you go into ketosis where you're body is living off its stored energy. They say emotion and neurotransmitters are closely tied to the gut, and let me tell you, you'll have different thoughts and emotions about things after a week with no food. But 4 days should be sufficient.

[Anonymous No.16918915]

>>16917725
not him but

14 cups water
1 cup sugar
8 bags of tea
one bottle of unflavored kombucha

make the tea with the sugar, cool to room temp, pour in unflavored kombucha. cover with a towel and put in a dark place for 3-7 days.

[Anonymous No.16918932]

>>16918915
i thought you need a gooby?

[Anonymous No.16918934]

>>16918907
>You can’t base your overall health on single shits
man my shits are usually like the above, hard coming out first, then muddy afterwards.

The next day my poops are usually constipated and nothing comes out, or they come out ok, but still a little messy.

[Anonymous No.16918949]

>>16918934
Do you have an appendix ?

[Anonymous No.16918950]

>>16918949
yes i still do

[Anonymous No.16918974]

>>16918913
>No refined sugars. No oil. Especially no heated oils. Just eat foods that have good fats in them.
what about if you bake a cake or have egg nog. Is this bad for your poops?
>>Fermented vegetables
Kimchi sounds nice. Is this ok

>You'll notice when you miss a lot of sleep from stress you'll usually take a big, sloppy shit that day cause you're gut is out of whack.
Yes I do notice this whenever I wake up earlier than usual. My poop is a lot more wet and sloppier.

>When it's meal time but your gut has a 'full' feeling and nothing sounds appetizing just don't eat till you get hungry.

Usually this happens if I binge eat something. Maybe lasts 1/2 day to the next day till I get hungry again.

[Anonymous No.16919079]

>>16918974
>what about if you bake a cake or have egg nog.

Mainly deep frying and sautéing are the problem. So I've heard. Fat at high heat for a long period of time is something the body might not know how to deal with, plus that is a lot of calories with little nutrient value.
Other methods are fine. But as far as eggs and animal products... If you're concerned about health you should eat more produce like an Asian.

Yes, Kimchi. As long as it's still alive.

[Anonymous No.16919107]

>>16919079
>Mainly deep frying and sautéing are the problem. So I've heard.
COOKbro I love bundt cake and eggnog though

I guess I'll have to throw the rest out then

>Yes, Kimchi. As long as it's still alive.
Should I try to make my own?

[Anonymous No.16919122]

>>16918825
>He doesn't have a vacuum cooker
NGMI.

[Anonymous No.16919332]

>>16918864
Sorry anon, I was making kefir

[Anonymous No.16919338]

>>16919332
anon you made me wait a long long time. I think you should do double what you were gonna do now as punishment.

[Anonymous No.16919730]

>>16918934
>hard coming out first, then muddy afterwards.
This is not good anon

[Anonymous No.16919786]

>>16919730
no shit anon

How do I fix it? I've been reading into it and I think it's my body seeing that I'm constipated in the first part, but then it turn they react to give me muddy diarrhea afterwards. But then the next day, I feel like I'm constipated and dry down there so nothing comes out.

Tomorrow, since I did not do a full bowel movement today I will probably have hard poop tip first then muddy diarrhea.

[Anonymous No.16919813]

>>16919786
I think your whole gut bacteria is out of whack
Are you anywhere near silicon valley?
I would suggest a diy poop transplant
Not trying to be edgy gross or funny
This is my honest opinion

[Anonymous No.16919850]

>>16919813
>Are you anywhere near silicon valley?
>I would suggest a diy poop transplant
>Not trying to be edgy gross or funny
>This is my honest opinion
A poop transplant might work. but that's just too expensive and dangerous for me right now. and I feel weird putting someone elses poop inside me. It will have to be a cute girls poop.

[Anonymous No.16919873]

>>16919850
>It will have to be a cute girls poop
You will end up being a femmie tranny like that anon
Be careful

[Anonymous No.16919878]

>>16919873
>You will end up being a femmie tranny like that anon
>Be careful
thats ok with me I would be lesbians with the girl who put her poop inside me.

[Anonymous No.16919901]

>>16919878
That's not how fecal transplants work anon

[Anonymous No.16919905]

>>16919901
which part is not right

[Anonymous No.16920126]

>>16919905
The lesbian lover part for one

[Anonymous No.16920167]

>>16920126
>The lesbian lover part for one
well anything is possible anon. if not her then maybe someone else will notice me

[Anonymous No.16920312]

>>16920167
Poop stuff is only hot when the person was born a woman.
If you are a biological male, poop stuff is just gross

[Anonymous No.16920321]

>>16920312

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izGwDsrQ1eQ

[Anonymous No.16920340]

yoghurt

/thread

[Anonymous No.16920342]

>>16920340
I already eat 1 serving a day. why doesn't it fix me already

[Anonymous No.16920368]

>>16920340
Helps but it's only a small part of the solution

[Anonymous No.16920371]

>>16920342
>>16920368
retard

[Anonymous No.16920375]

>>16920368
ok what do i do next then
>>16920371
what do i do instead then

[Anonymous No.16920385]

>>16920375
saffron tea

[Anonymous No.16920469]

>>16920385
thanks just drank some have some leftover to see what it can do for the rest of the days fren.

[Anonymous No.16920486]

>>16919786
Are you also having really smelly farts?

[Anonymous No.16920498]

>>16920486
>Are you also having really smelly farts?
my farts are usually not smelly. Unless I eat something bad.

[Anonymous No.16921087]

cold pasta is another good gut food

[Anonymous No.16921099]

>>16916281
*most of my nuts

[Anonymous No.16921290]

>>16915010
Got mine cut out 25 years ago. As others have mentioned it may serve as a reservoir for beneficial gut bacteria. As such, whenever you get sick, the odds of getting the hershey squirts are increased. Fucking deal with it. You can eat whatever the fuck you want.

[Anonymous No.16921293]

>Hurr durr you gottsta eat dem fiber an D vitameens an sheet.

This counts even if you do have your appendix you fucking chucklefucks

[Anonymous No.16921342]

>>16919079
What? A lot of recipes have saute in onions/garlic steps. Or do you mean the oil itself is the problem (use butter instead of oil)?

[Anonymous No.16921444]

>>16915010
Just shove someone else's shit up your ass if you're that worried.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_microbiota_transplant

[Anonymous No.16921499]

>>16918934
are you a heavy drinker?

[Anonymous No.16921863]

>>16921499
No I never drink

[Anonymous No.16922075]

>>16921444
Any women here willing to donate some to me? Strictly for microbiome improvement purposes, of course.

[Anonymous No.16922579]

>>16922075
Are you asking for your friend?

[Anonymous No.16922754]

sticking another persons poop up my ass sounds kinda gross
how would that happen
>hey can I have your poop ?
>uuughhh sure
>*takes a huge dump*
>oh wow, thats a nice turd, time to insert it in my anus

[Anonymous No.16922769]

>>16922754
You got to do it like that jazz song, "Cheek to Cheek". It goes straight in, no middleman.

[Anonymous No.16922890]

>>16922579
No, for my friend's mother's neighbor's dog's puppy, actually.

[Anonymous No.16923023]

>>16922754
The poop would be way to soft to penentrate

[Anonymous No.16923070]

I would be willing to poop directly into the anus of a biological female

[Anonymous No.16923129]

>>16916190
most sauerkraut sold has no active bacteria. it's just salty cabbage. they pasteurize that shit. you gotta go to trader joe's to get the good stuff. same thing with milk. most "milk" today is not real, raw milk with gut biome benefits. if you taste raw milk you will see the difference but you gotta go to pricey stores to get it.

[Anonymous No.16923150]

>>16919079
>Fat at high heat for a long period of time is something the body might not know how to deal with
lmao wut? no, it doesn't know how to deal with frankenstein polyunsaturated vegetable oils that have oxidized into toxic bullshit. it knows perfectly fine how to process bacon fried in its own fat. people have been cooking in animal fat for tens of thousands of years.

[Anonymous No.16923455]

>>16923150
so how do I fry chicken meat in my pan without oil

[Anonymous No.16923476]

>>16923455
take your chicken and go to a japanese airport

[Anonymous No.16923515]

>>16923455
Lard is the best for frying chicken

[Anonymous No.16923520]

>>16923476
what ? bait

[Anonymous No.16923527]

>>16915051
>Fibrous foods will help plunge out whatever is in there currently.
stop spreading pseudo-science, ffs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqUO4P9ADI0

[Anonymous No.16924600]

>>16923527
Are you from the anti fiber league ?

[Anonymous No.16924763]

>>16923129
ok where do i go to get the good stuff? anywhere thats good?

[Anonymous No.16924787]

>>16918825
You boil them then cool them. It increases resistant starch. You can reheat them after they've been cooled and they dont lose the resistant starch.

Resistant starch is essentially fiber that your gut bacteria love eating. Prebiotic.

It also lessens the blood sugar spike from taytoes.

[Anonymous No.16924981]

>>16924787
It also happens to a lesser extent with rice and pasta

[Anonymous No.16925246]

>>16924787
Not the Anon you're quoting but I wonder, does that still apply to instant mashed potatoes?

[Anonymous No.16927000]

>>16925246
I am going to guess no because the starches have been so broken down by all the processing

[Anonymous No.16927295]

So how hard is it to do the diy fecal transplants?
How do you jusge who might be a good donor?
How much do you pay the donor?

[Anonymous No.16927498]

>>16927000
Thanks Anon, that does seem likely. Guess I should stop being lazy and use real potatoes.

[Anonymous No.16927592]

>>16927498
You could easily make a huge batch of mashed potatoes and freeze portions in bags if your workweek is so brutal you have to resort to instant mashed potato

You could make some really amazing ones that will make you regret ever packet of dust you ever bought

Although now that I think about it , there is something comforting about powdered potato

[Anonymous No.16927599]

i detox with alcohol every day

[Anonymous No.16927628]

>>16915010
>What do you eat to keep yours in tip top shape.

Excercise. Athletes have some of the best microbiomes around not just cause what they eat, but also the lactic acid they produce feeds a very specific type of healthy bacteria for your gut, which eat the lactic acid & produce ATP... kind of an awesome feedback loop.

[Anonymous No.16927649]

>>16927628
Tom , is that you?

[Anonymous No.16928352]

Biomes are disgusting

[Anonymous No.16929582]

no matter how much fiber i get in a day it always take for fucking ever to wipe because a little bit of shit always seems to no come out.

some random days ill be completely fine and have normal shits

ive been eating a clean diet for 3 months now. no fast food, no chips, no sweets other than fruit and dark chocolate.

i dont know what to do i just want normal shits.

[Anonymous No.16929617]

>>16915010
I ate garlic, cloves, and cinnamon. Then got craving for doughnuts after that.

[Anonymous No.16929625]

>>16929582
maybe its the chocolate or types of fruit you eat. i know some low fodmap people say some fruits make them messy. chocolate always makes me messy.

[Anonymous No.16929663]

>>16929625
I'm not sure, I only recently started eating dark chocolate, been having this issue for a few years, I don't eat much fruit either, just veg.
im lactose intolerant but only eat lactose free shit when i do eat dairy

[Anonymous No.16929665]

>>16918932
itll make one

[Anonymous No.16929708]

>>16915022
I do both of those things

[Anonymous No.16930166]

Another endorsement for Kombucha
I suffered from all kinds of GI problems for almost a decade but Kombucha really takes the edge off
make your own, look up how, it's easy

[Anonymous No.16930185]

>>16915010
kimchi is cool

[Anonymous No.16930338]

>>16930185
it is but most poeple should limit their intake

[Anonymous No.16930605]

>>16930338
Why?

[Anonymous No.16931229]

How do I fix my gut microbiome

AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH

[Anonymous No.16931255]

>>16918915
Where do you store the Scooby after you bottle the bucha?

[Anonymous No.16931260]

>>16918101
this is 4channel sir you can say nigger

[Anonymous No.16931272]

>>16931255
Not that anon, but you can just store it with some of the unflavored starter tea in ceramic or glass covered with cheesecloth (don't refrigerate). If you're doing it right, the scoby will reproduce itself with each brew; you can just reach in and tear the two apart and start two new brews next time. They pile up quickly.

[Anonymous No.16931273]

>>16930338
why?

[Anonymous No.16931282]

>>16929663
hmm lactose free. thats interesting maybe its something like the disproportionate lactose to sugars in the milk or somethhing else added in there

[Anonymous No.16931369]

>>16923527
there is so much quackery and misinformation in nutrition that nobody takes it seriously at all. Guarantee that this low carb guy is also full of shit. Too much money from outside industry lobbyists goes into nutrition for it to be credible like 90% of the time, and the other 10% is full of wackos who couldn't make it as medical doctors

[Anonymous No.16931832]

FUCK COOK BROS

I had so much diarrhea this morning. I was previously constipated for the past 2 days. I had wet poop and it took me like 1.5 hours to get it all out and clean, then i started squirting out poop juice.

I don't know why it was so wet, maybe the chili i ate yesterday gave me too much liquid.

[Anonymous No.16932198]

>>16915010
Don't worry too much about it anon. If push comes to shove (or doesn't, I guess) you can always get a stool enema.

[Anonymous No.16932205]

>>16932198
Gut health is about a lot more than being regular
You can have perfect daily poops and still suffer all sorts of symptoms including mood swings from having the wrong bacteria

[Anonymous No.16932563]

>>16932205
What about the micro biome of your vagina? Your snatch guts are important also.

[Anonymous No.16932636]

>>16932563
I was having anal sex with my gf last month and about 20 strokes in she had to tap out, just wasn't feeling good for her that time. She was on all fours (doggy style) and I put an arm around her chest and another gently around her throat and pulled her onto her knees still with her back facing me. I started tenderly kissing her all over for what felt like days, my balls were about to explode and my dick was throbbing, and gently rubbing her clit. I kept this up for quite a long time until she was really hot and wet and at this time I knew I could make my move.

Without stopping my gentle passionate kissing I used my right knee to move her right leg and spread her legs further apart. I stopped caressing her breast and used my hand to insert my dick inside her pussy. She didn't hesitate or resist and we went at it in this position until she came and I couldn't hold out any longer and came inside her. I can usually go almost indefinitely but the whole time I was thinking about going ass to pussy finally and it was almost impossible not to cum immediately.

I never so much as remarked on this wondrous occasion and neither did she. Thankfully she didn't get an infection. I won't push my luck but I'm definitely going to do this in the future under the same circumstances.

Over the last year I've been slowly working up to ass to mouth. She is 100% against this and disgusted by it but I've been increasing her comfort with handling my dick after it's been in her ass, including handjobs, tit fucking and cumming on her tits and neck and some on her face. Tit fucking is the best because it's close to her face and I play it off like its nothing. I tried getting her to suck my balls a couple months ago after I was in her ass but she avoided it and just fondled them. But I think I can get to the dream goal of ass to mouth if I work at it and don't rush. She has no clue about my scheming either or that it is all calculated and incrementally working towards a final goal.

[Anonymous No.16932934]

>>16915947
make sure you buy non-GMO organic potatoes
they're like roundup sponges otherwise

[Anonymous No.16932993]

>>16932934
false
GMO potatoes are biologically the same as non gmo

[Anonymous No.16933003]

>>16932993
>GMO potatoes are biologically the same as non gmo
If they are biologically the same then they would not be genetically engineered for resistance to bruising, browning and various pests and pathogens, would they?

[Anonymous No.16933007]

>>16933003
all potatoes have different traits, but they can still be biologocally same
Just like even though your mom is a total whore, she is biologically the same as my mother who is not one.

[Anonymous No.16933020]

>>16933007
It depends how you define "biologically." If by biologically you mean they are storage and reproductive organs of the plant then yes they are the same. If biologically you mean genetically and phenotypically they are identically then no you are wrong.

[Anonymous No.16933037]

>>16933020
What I mean is that genetically and phenotypically , your mom is a total whore. A right slapper

[Anonymous No.16933057]

Just popped in to tell you guys my latest batch of homemade Greek yogurt is fantastic. It's just whole milk and yogurt cultures, 12 hour ferment and 24 hour strain. Came out buttery smooth with a nice sharp tangy flavour.

[Anonymous No.16933058]

>>16933020
stop feeding the troll dumbass

[Anonymous No.16933238]

>>16933037
I have never spoken with my mother about her sexual history or sex life in general. Your intense interest in mothers and sex makes me now understand why Xvideos has so many incest-related titles and videos. I suppose that like BBC videos many self-loathing degenerate Americans crave humiliation and shock because their everyday lives are devoid of any strong feelings. You are numb and unknowingly seek to fill the spiritual and emotional voids through more and more extreme means, devolving from simple vanilla pornography to extreme porn that would have been illegal only decades ago. You distort normal healthy loving family relationships into disgusting perverted sex fodder. You turn your collective racism into a sick fetish. You take the potato, a once noble foodstuff that nourished many, and pervert its nature through genetic modification for the unimaginative and dismal goal of preventing browning of fries. You mock nature and God to fill your gullets and fan your gluttonous and blasphemous sins against humanity and life itself.

[Anonymous No.16933284]

bros whats the best bacteria and why is it
L reuteri?

>not wanting bigger balls

[Anonymous No.16934151]

>>16933284
It gives bigger balls?

[Anonymous No.16934473]

>>16933284
How does it embiggen balls?

[Anonymous No.16934488]

>>16934473
is breast milk good for you?

[Anonymous No.16934517]

>>16934488
It's literally the only food designed by nature to specifically nurture human beings

[Anonymous No.16934581]

>>16934473
>tfw no hyperlactating gf

[Anonymous No.16934587]

>>16934517
I'm like 99% certain that chugging breast milk as an adult will actually give you a heart attack in under a year

[Anonymous No.16934591]

>>16934517
>designed by nature
Kek babby’s first theology?

[Anonymous No.16934845]

>>16934587
You don't get to crush my dream so easily, explain your theory

[Anonymous No.16934857]

>>16934845
in order to properly explain it, I'll need a volunteer from the audience and about 3 years. If I survive, I'll give you 20 dollars

[Anonymous No.16935173]

The microbiome is essentially an imageboard.
You have your various strains like c. frogposter, n. waifufag, b. wojakshitter which each contribute (for good or ill). Each serves a role and the ecosystem reaches some tenuous equilibrium.
Removing any strain from a stable system is risky, even one that seems useless like l.cunnyposter might have value in creating an environment that deters worse strains such as c.redditor.
Probiotics are like injecting a generic mix of redditors twitterites and facebook users into the site. If the ecosystem is healthy they just get bullied out, otherwise something might happen but it's almost impossible to predict what, it could easily just make things worse.
Depending on your diet, the balance will change. For example as twitter becomes more popular the malicious strain l.twitcapper becomes more common, despite all efforts at containing it.
As a living system, change is inevitable, and unfortunately most changes just make things worse because of entropy. However there are many different ways to fail. Just like one gutlet might only be able to eat meat and another only carbs, both /vg/ and /pol/ are unsalvageable but it completely different ways.

>tfw this started as a shitpost but it actually seems like a decent analogy

[Anonymous No.16936025]

>>16934473
>>16934151
https://testobay.com/lactobacillus-reuteri-testosterone/

[Anonymous No.16936435]

>>16935173
400iq Post

[Anonymous No.16936512]

>>16935173

[Anonymous No.16936527]

>>16915010
mold

[Anonymous No.16936544]

>>16915969
>Hopefully it was just some mucus
Yes that's exactly what it was

[Anonymous No.16936561]

>>16915010
sauerkraut
kefir
yoghurt cream/sauces
cheese
ryajanka
milk
ayran
kumis
garlic
onion bulbs
kvas
pickled vegetables

[Anonymous No.16936631]

>>16934845
milk is meant to fatten you up and provide the calcium for fundamental bone growth. the nutritional needs of an infant are very different from an adult.
I expect its fine if you dont just try to have breast milk as a complete food substitute.

[Anonymous No.16936634]

>>16915034
My body always hurts

[Anonymous No.16936643]

>>16915010
AWJHHH COOKBROS I OVERATE YESTERDAY and had entire pizza. But no shit is coming out. I think I had too many carbs bros. My tummy feels bloated.

[Anonymous No.16937013]

tfw just had a perfect poop without even the slightest trace on my ass

[Anonymous No.16937565]

>>16937013
your mom is so proud of you anon

[Anonymous No.16937739]

>>16915969
>I took a shit earlier today and then at the end of it I squirted out some mostly clear material that kinda looked like ripped up liquid scotch tape or something
>Hopefully it was just some mucus or something
Sounds like you got blackout drunk and had at least one load deposited in your kiester. Get tested.

[Anonymous No.16937810]

Lost your appendix? Where did you lose it? You should really find it.

[Anonymous No.16938118]

>>16915865
In second grade I learned that mayo was unhealthy and I should have pb&j instead. American school curriculums are suspect at best.

[Anonymous No.16938205]

>>16937013
what the fuck anon tell me your secrets

[Anonymous No.16938481]

>>16938118
>I learned that mayo was unhealthy and I should have pb&j instead
There is no way that pbj is healthier than a ham sandwich with mayo
No fucking way man its pure sugar
Your teachers lied to you
Nothing wrong with mayo

[Anonymous No.16938493]

>>16922754
they freeze the turd and then insert it like a dildo, then you let it melt inside your ass. voila

[Anonymous No.16938507]

>>16935173
get this man a PhD in memescience

[Anonymous No.16938533]

>>16935173

[Anonymous No.16938549]

>>16938493
i dont think thats what they do

[Anonymous No.16938566]

>>16915010
Go to the healthiest person you know and eat their shit on a regular basis.

[Anonymous No.16938790]

>>16938549
Are you telling me that's not normal? The guy in the van behind the health clinic told me this is the discount method

[Anonymous No.16938882]

>>16938790
Did he offer to put it up there?
Did he push it in with his impossibly long finger ?

[Anonymous No.16938971]

raw milk
yogurt/kefir
fermented foods in general

[Anonymous No.16939633]

>>16937810
anon its gone

[Anonymous No.16941261]

Is it really that bad to lose your appendix

[Anonymous No.16941327]

>>16941261
yeah, without an appendix lawyers won't be able to search you for obscure statutes and definitions

[Anonymous No.16941761]

>>16941327
anon pls this is no time to joke

[Anonymous No.16942552]

[Anonymous No.16943602]

>>16935173
Let's see if we can use this model. How do we fix fucked-up guts? Suppose your diet has been horrible or something and you end up with a /pol/-tier biome. You have a few options.

>antibiotics
Basically a mass banwave. However, this is not very effective as bacteria will hide in biofilms and then return. And the strains that can do that are usually the ones you don't want, so the biome just gets worse. Sound familiar?

>probiotics
As already discussed. Sadly, a fucked biome is typically extremely stable. Obviously injecting a batch of random normalfags into /pol/ will not fix it.

You could try antibiotics followed immediately by a ton of probiotics. So after your mass banwave you spew in a bunch of redditors or whatever and hopefully they drive away or drown out the ban evaders and stop them from getting a foothold again.
Sadly, a one-off batch of random immigrants will probably not create a stable culture. Most likely the surviving /pol/tards will simply retake the board again. Even if not, the board will probably collapse on its own anyway. And indeed, probiotics alone almost always end with another dysbiosis.
At BEST, if you're very lucky and keep a very healthy "diet" it may be delicate and fragile for years, until it gradually develops a new stable culture. If it does so, the original immigrant strains will probably be mostly gone by then, but will have held things together long enough to evolve something new. Probably it's possible to do this with a gut too but requires a lot of time, luck and healthy eating.

Finally we have the poop transplant. We do a mass banwave then import a big sampling of users from Resetera. It's obvious this is WAY more likely to work. The returning ban evaders will be struck down by a female, yet oddly masculine iron fist. The new board will probably be so stable you wouldn't be able to get the old board back if you tried. But obviously, you better choose the donor WISELY!!