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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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17879188 No.17879188 [Reply] [Original]

Fuck eggs

>> No.17879237

>>17879188
How did you fuck up so badly?

>> No.17879244

>>17879237
>shell fragments
He's retarded.

>> No.17879296
File: 342 KB, 588x627, butthead.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17879296

>>17879237
>didn't eat much today
>wanted some quick eggs before bed
>remember eggs explode in the microwave if you put them in dry
>devise amazing idea
>put two eggs in a glass of water first
>fill to the top with water
>this way they should cook just like if they were being boiled
>devilish.jpg
>30 seconds in, the top egg ruptures
>ok, no problem. It can still be salvaged
>45 seconds in, the bottom egg goes full jihad
>not a single ml stays in the glass
>mfw

>> No.17879304

>>17879296
you didn't think about cracking them and scrambling them then putting them in the microwave?

>> No.17879309

>>17879304
That worked in the past, but I wanted soft boiled. Now I've learned that microwaves do not work that way.

>> No.17879635

>eggs
>microwave
Never do this. Eggs go so quick in a pan anyway it's not worth it. Crack two eggs into your pan and scramble them roughly inside the pan with the turner. Then poke them and flip them and some shit. Two minutes later scrambled eggs have happened. Please never microwave eggs again. But if you do make sure to have an inverter microwave and run the power level at something like 3 or 4.

>> No.17879646

>>17879188
Nigger how did you get it on the outside??

>> No.17880371

>>17879646
Microwaves aren't hermetically sealed, an explosion inside will either force its way out the door or even blow the door open.

>> No.17880375

>>17879188
you have to eat them.

>> No.17880471
File: 1006 KB, 2110x1720, 1653192533762.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17880471

>>17879188
Let me guess, you forgot to rest them, retard.

>> No.17880484

>>17880471
I didn't rest my raw egg and all the juices ran out
:(

>> No.17880493
File: 31 KB, 900x900, durmiendo-david-almendral[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17880493

>>17880471
>>17880484
Monsters

>> No.17880495

>>17880493
sleep tight lil egger

>> No.17880496

>>17879188
>cooking in a microwave
>t. retard

>> No.17880524

>>17880471
Those times are very fucked up

>> No.17880553

>>17880371
Don't they have to be so the waves can't fry your brain make you stupid

>> No.17880659

>>17880471
>that omelette
STOP POSTING THIS!

>> No.17880660

>>17880659
make me

>> No.17880665

>>17880659
I'm not the one who didn't rest their eggs and have to clean up, so no

>> No.17880667
File: 36 KB, 602x327, main-qimg-cfaa9769aa5e67affe48e3b9062b4c77-lq.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17880667

>>17880553
No, microwaves can be trapped just by having the casing grounded and no holes big enough to pass through (i.e. the mesh on the window).

>> No.17880674

>>17880667
this is why I have everyone in the house put their phones in the microwave as soon as they come inside

>> No.17881344

The heat of the cup cooks the egg.

>> No.17881454

>>17879296
Next time, try cracking the eggs into a pan with butter or olive oil in it.

>> No.17881865

>>17881454
>Grug no like technology
>Grug hear microwaves use radiation
>radiation word scare Grug
>Grug only cook with fire and stick

>> No.17882006

>>17881865
Based

>> No.17882022

>>17881865
>be cyborg
>blows up eggs

>> No.17882026

>>17880553
Despite their name, the wavelength of microwaves are about 10cm. They can't travel through any gap smaller than that. That's why the see-through grid on the front of your microwave oven is enough to block all of them.

>> No.17882133

>>17880553
Radiaton doesn't affect air pressure. Doesn't need a blast door to be properly isolated.

>> No.17882138

>>17881865
Amerifats starve if all the microwaves broke at the same time.

You can barely be called functioning humans by now you corn syrup ridden McHumans.

>> No.17882140

>>17879188
How the fuck did you even?

If that's what happens when you get near chicken eggs I can only imagine what would happen if anyone ever made the mistake of letting you near a set of fallopian tubes

>> No.17882147

>>17879309
You need to put only a few tablespoons of water, and maybe a splash of vinegar (helps coagulate)
You are retarded for putting a full container in the microwave

>> No.17882159

>>17879309
put water in pot
place on stove, bring to boil
place egg inside water
set timer on phone or whatever to 7 mins.
remove after 7 mins and run under cold water to stop the cooking

wa la, a fucking soft boiled egg.

>> No.17882169

>>17880524
nothing wrong with boiling an egg for 22 minutes, unless you hate playing golf or something

>> No.17882170
File: 55 KB, 500x500, Torgue.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17882170

EGGSPLOOOOOOOOOSION!!!!!

>> No.17882233

>>17882159
That's too fucking slow. I'm going to invent a machine to turbo cook eggs. Probably some sort of mini pressure cooker.

>> No.17882241

Do americans really?

>> No.17882248

>>17882159
>>17882233
You can rejoice; an egg should be boiled for only exactly six minutes

>> No.17882258
File: 19 KB, 450x450, 61JSqi+zDZL._AC_SS450_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17882258

>>17882159
or just get a fucking egg cooker

>> No.17882286

>>17879188
literally no one has successfully microwaved an egg
what did you think you had done right that wouldn't result in the same thing everyone else experienced

>> No.17882294

>>17882258
or save $30 and use a pot with boiling water, timing it properly for its size like an intelligent human being.

>> No.17882308

>>17880495
it's egga for you.

>> No.17882317
File: 60 KB, 720x855, 1647075303990.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17882317

FUCK.
EGGS.

>> No.17882352
File: 98 KB, 1024x683, rice cook egg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17882352

>>17882233
so crack it into a hot pan and fry it for a couple of minutes

or simply place a raw egg on top of some rice, the heat of the rice cooks the egg

>> No.17882358
File: 149 KB, 960x960, 1470284783078.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17882358

FUCK MEAT

>> No.17882362

>>17882358
are american do really?...

>> No.17882366
File: 94 KB, 320x320, Tom_and_Jerry_meme.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17882366

>>17882358
Can't believe thatNetto finally decided to sell fresh meat.

>> No.17882375

>>17882362
Anon that's in a german discounter called Netto

>> No.17882377

>>17882366
*that Netto

>> No.17882389

>>17882375
why are germans so fucking unfunny? FUCK EGGS AND FUCK YOU

>> No.17882395

>>17882358
woah whats going on there did a rampaging bull get put down because it ran into a store

>> No.17882398

>>17882389
Our "humor" is serious buisness my friend
>>17882395
Probably

>> No.17882405

soft boiled is as easy as boiling a pot of water and then dropping a few eggs in there after taking it off the heat. using the microwqve for eggs is asking for trouble. you could maybe get away with cracking an egg in a ramenkin you rubbed with oil and then microwaving it on the lowest heat available, but an uncracked egg are just bombs in microwaves.

>> No.17882638

>>17882405
Why do boiled eggs not explode? Water pressure? Cooking speed? The fact that the outer part cooks first?

>> No.17882648

>>17882138
What's it like making 1/2 what we make for the same job?

>> No.17882660

>>17880674
Doesn't work that way. Microwave ovens operate at 2.45 GHz but your phone uses signals at higher frequencies. The mesh in the microwave oven is only enough to trap the 2.45 GHz but anything smaller in wavelength will make it through

>> No.17882694

>>17879188
The heat from the explosion cooks the egg.

>> No.17883559

>>17882169
That's not what rest means

>> No.17883579
File: 935 KB, 1299x587, 1652295189430.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17883579

>>17880471
>raw
>2 minutes
???

>> No.17883583

>>17879635
>>17879188
>>17879296
https://www.mileskimball.com/buy-microwave-egg-boiler-312027

>> No.17883657

>>17883579
Yes, it allows outgassing of the sulfur compounds to mellow out the aggressiveness of the egg.

>> No.17883722

>>17883657
>effervescent eggs that reek of sulfur
I'm sure letting them rest for 2 min will fix them right up.

>> No.17883724

>>17883657
The outgassing of the sulfur mellows the egg

>> No.17883844

>>17883722
Yes, but maybe you taking a shower will allow you to smell the difference.

>> No.17883983

>>17883844
CoOoOoOold Blooded!

>> No.17884098

>>17880659
I told you last time gringo, it's a spanish tortilla :^)

>> No.17884180

>>17879188
>>17879188
>Fuck eggs
You certainly did

>> No.17884448

>>17882362
…read the signs in that photo that are clearly in German? Yeah we do.

>> No.17884474

>>17882317
DON'T FUCK WITH THIS SENATOR

>> No.17884475
File: 1.43 MB, 1500x1536, 1598574806788.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17884475

>>17881865
>Calling others retarded for not liking microwaves after using yours to make exploding eggs

>> No.17884622
File: 44 KB, 500x500, artworks-000478328559-mf9qp5-t500x500.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17884622

>>17882317
>>17884474

>> No.17884632

>>17879188
REST

YOUR

FUCKING

EGGS!

>> No.17884647

>>17879635
>Have to clean a pan for one shitty egg

>> No.17884662

>>17879188
How many eggs in a microwave would I need to safely exit this plain of existence? I cant get any helium here

>> No.17885090

>>17882138
I literally never use the built in microwave that came with my house...
Why not just pop them in the oven in a bell pepper if you're going to be lazy?

>> No.17885564

>>17879188
>does some retarded shit
>blames it on anything but himself

very sad

>> No.17885584
File: 366 KB, 1080x1083, Screenshot_20220523-201836_Google.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17885584

>>17879188
Why did you microwave it in the shell? And why didn't any of the retards in this thread notice?

>> No.17885651

>>17879244
>>17885584
read the thread, retard

>> No.17885663

>>17879296
Why didn’t you boil them it takes less than 10 minutes

>> No.17885938

>>17884647
>shitty
if they are shit why are you eating it?

>> No.17885948

>>17880471
why the fuck would you rest a cooked egg? thats how you get cold eggs.

>> No.17885961

>>17882389
how is that not funny
a cow was shot in a supermarket, the fact that germans shot it because theyre autistic takes it to the next level

>> No.17886055
File: 272 KB, 492x762, a28.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17886055

>>17879188
Christie Golden? Is that you?

>> No.17886074

>>17879188
>Literally chicken abortions
>Consistency of snot or boogers
>Taste like shit
>Smell bad even when freshly cooked but vomit-inducing when rotten
>make your farts smell really bad
Eggs are the niggers of food

>> No.17886100

>>17882358
>the pathetic attempt to try and move the cow with a rope and pallet jack

>> No.17886107

>>17882159
the virgin egg exploders seethe at the simple 6 minute boil, if you were on /ck/ you'd be this weeks entertainment lmao

>> No.17886127

>>17879296
>dry
that's where you fucked up. water doesnt matter. they do have to be removed from the shell though

>> No.17886141
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17886141

>>17882170

>> No.17886147
File: 1.28 MB, 1301x2000, MV5BNjcwNTQ3Y2EtMjdmZi00ODBhLWFhNzQtOTc3MWU5NTZlMDViXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjUzOTY1NTc@._V1_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17886147

>>17882317
Don't worry, Anon. I've got this.

>> No.17886152

>>17879188
>being this retarded
i'm just going to laugh myself to sleep and not investigate if this is copypasta.

>> No.17886166

>>17883724
I'm upset that this made me laugh