/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Mr.Mango No.4593762]

It was a normal day, just another normal day. If only I could've seen how it would end, I might have slept in, maybe went to a movie. Or maybe I would've got my camera ready to record it. I still can't decide. I don't want this getting out to my friends and family, so I won’t be using my name in this story. I want it to be my own little fantasy.

I was just sitting alone at my house, watching Judge Mathis. That man is so crazy, he doesn't take shit. He's fair, but strict, but also has a good sense of humor. Goddamn I can’t get enough Judge Mathis. ,As I was watching his sweet, beautiful, black face, I heard a knock at my door. Thinking back, I wish I didn't answer it, but at the same time, I wish I would've answered it even quicker.

I walk to the door hesitantly, I'm not one for conversation with strangers. I peek through the window and all I saw was white hair. I could tell it was an older lady, it was fluffed up how they do it. I didn't know if I wanted to open the door, but as I was deciding, I heard her say something. "I see y'all peeking through the window, Honey!" and I knew my cover was blown.

[Mr.Mango No.4593765]

I unlock the door slowly, and open it even slower. That's when I knew who it was. It was Paula Deen. She had this look on her face, something I've never seen in the years of watching her show. It was intense in a way, but it was also arousing. "Can I talk to y'all for a second, Darlin?" she said, in her southern drawl. I didn't see anything wrong with it, so I invited her in.

“Now, y’all, I was driving through your neighborhood and I need some directions. I came to your house because I thought I could smell some butter coming from it. I..is that butter I smell?” she said, her nostrils flaring as if she was smelling like a dog. I was freaked out, I had just bought forty-two pounds of butter earlier that day. I was thinking about how she could tell that I had it. She must have seen me buy it in the store earlier.

“Yes, Mrs.Deen, I had bought it earlier. I heard butter was going out of buisness, so I bought as much as I could.” I could see the look on her face grow more animalistic. Her breathing started getting heavier. She started making a noise. The only way I can describe it as the noise that the Berries and Cream guy used to make on the Skittle commercials.

“OOhhhhhhh” seemed to just keep coming out of her mouth until she lunged towards me, mouth open. She started kissing me feverishly. I had no idea what was going on, but I was turned on. I could taste butter in her mouth. As I started french kissing her, my tongue started rubbing against her teeth. They were slick with butter, as if she’s eaten a whole stick of cold butter without brushing her teeth. It was thick. It tasted like ambrosia and sex.

[Mr.Mango No.4593766]

As things started to get more heated, she started taking off her top. Her body was fantastic for someone her age. Her skin was smooth and tan, her breasts supple and firm. Her nipples were a dark brown that I couldn’t wait to taste. I was in a state of ecstasy. I started sucking on her sweet little nipples. Little spurts of butter would squirt out on occasion. I would swallow every time, just like I’d expect her to do for me.

She started making the noise again, but louder and more intense. “OOOOOHHHHHHH” she kept going, each time making my erection throb harder and harder. I had to see more, I had to HAVE more. I kept at her breasts for another few minutes, but then she stopped. “Now, Honey” she said in a panting voice, “are you ready for the real fun?” I could feel her hand running down to my throbbing cock. Stroking it, playing with it, it was so intense. Then I saw where her other hand was going. It was heading straight for the butter I had bought earlier that day.

She unzipped my pants and started rubbing handfuls of butter on my dick. WIth every stroke I could feel more blood pumping through it. Once I couldn’t even see my cock flesh anymore from all the butter, she started sucking, and GOD, could she suck. It felt like a vacuum cleaner sucking on my buttered dick, but hot and wet. And she kept going until it was clean.

“Want some more, y’all?” she said. I nodded my head yes, and she started slathering my dick with butter again. At this time I started turning her around and unzipped her pants. I pulled them down, along with her underwear, and it was the finest booty I’ve ever seen. Some might even call it an Ion-booty. Her huge white bush covered the most perfect pussy. Her ass was round and looked as tight as I would’ve hoped. As soon as she got done icing my dick with butter, it was time for round two.

[Mr.Mango No.4593769]

She started sucking even harder than she did before. I couldn’t stop myself anymore. I put my fingers in her tight pussy. It was hot and greasy. My fingers kept sliding back and forth, in and out. Her clitoris was bulging and I was too. I could hear her panting, it got me off so hard. Eventually I didn’t even have to move my hand, her thighs were moving it for me. She was grinding against my hand. I couldn’t make it stop even if I wanted it to.

Time had stopped and started moving fast at the same time. After what felt like an eternity, we both came. She quickly swallowed all my man juice. I’ve heard of squirters, but this was insane. When she came it went up my whole arm. It was hot and thick, like melted butter. Some splashed on my lips and I joyously licked it off. It tasted like sweet cinnamon butter sauce.

I wanted more, but she wouldn’t let me go down on her. She was getting impatient, tired of the foreplay, she wanted me in her at that moment, and honestly, I did too. She started rubbing butter all over my body, cold thick butter. I started doing the same. I started rubbing butter all over her hot chest. I could feel her stiff nipples as I rubbed the butter on her breasts. As we were both completely covered with butter, it was time.

She grabbed my dick, gave it a final kiss, then moved her body up mine. She worked it to her vagina, and started rubbing it against her dripping moist pussy. Her vagina was slick and hot, hotter than my fingers could tell. As my cock worked its way inside of her, inch by inch, her pants got louder, decibel by decibel until she was screaming full force. It was the sound of a howling southern slut that couldn’t be stopped.

[Mr.Mango No.4593772]

We started fucking hard and long for what felt like an eternity. Her beautiful tits bouncing up and down with every thrust. She started sweating what looked like separated butter, going all over her body. It was getting slicker and slicker until it was all over her. I could feel every fiber of the inside of her vagina. It felt like cat tongues covered with grease. I didn’t know how long I could last if it kept up like this, but then she halted me and got off. I wasn’t done and neither was she, but thinking back, I’m glad I wasn’t done. The best had yet to come.

She sat next to me and told me “It’s time for the grand finale, y’all” She slowly moved around me, moving her hips back and forth until I was staring at her perfect asshole. She told me to start licking, and I did. We started going ass to mouth, we started sixty-nining. I started eating her beautiful pussy out. It was amazing. Tasted the same, but stronger. Sweet cinnamon and buttery.

After a good twenty minutes of eating her out, I could feel her body convulsing. She wasn’t gonna make it much longer. I could tell she needed a break so I slowed down. She stopped sucking my dick only to tell me something. “Follow my orders now, y’all”. After she said that, she threw me a stick of butter and yelled “Stick it in my asshole, the whole thing!”

[Mr.Mango No.4593775]

So I followed orders. I stuck my finger in first, to make room for the butter. It was tight. Tighter than the mouth of an unblown balloon. As my finger was inside, I could feel the muscles hugging it tight. I didn’t even know I could pull it out if I tried. After I took my finger out, I gave it one final lick to make it go in easier.

The butter was cold and still stiff, so it went in easier than I thought it was. Her butthole puckered once it was finally all inside her, butter remnants still stuck around the edges of her asshole. It looked so dirty, but it looked so fucking hot. I couldn’t stop looking at it, it was like I was staring into the butter sun.

So I started eating her out again. This time her body convulsed even more. She must have been hot because I could see a leaking of melt butter start running out of her tight hole. After about 10 minutes, she told me she was about to come again, so I kept at it. A few seconds later she came, even more than before. It was as thick as the first time, but she must have not came this hard in a while, because there were curdles all through it. It looked like cottage cheese. But just as she finished cumming, all the butter in her asshole came out as well. Melted, hot, asshole butter was all over my face. I came harder than I ever have in my life.

After that, she started farting, hot butter farts. Splatters of butter going all over my face. I started eating out her asshole. My tongue penetrating the anus. My tongue was inside her asshole. I could feel her body twitch every time I moved my tongue. SHe was loving it. The best part was I could taste the butter. Oh my god. If only I could keep that taste in my mouth for eternity. I would put that on my toast every day for the rest of my life. She was loving it, but I knew this date was just about done, so I was gonna let myself finish.

[Mr.Mango No.4593776]

I let myself come in her mouth, but I couldn’t have stopped it even if I wanted. As soon as I had came, she came one last time. We were both completely soaked with butter and cum. Tired and worn out, she looks at me and asks me my name, telling me it was the best fuck she’s ever had in her whole life. I told her my name was Trayvon and she looked at me with crazy eyes.

“So you have black heritage in your blood?!” My great grandad was black, but I looked nothing like him. Not knowing what to do I said yes and then she got an even madder look on her face. She hurriedly said she had to go. Completely naked, she took a running jump at my door, landing on her stomach and sliding out of the doorway. As I ran to the door to try to stop her, I could see I was too late. I could barely see her as she slid into the distance, leaving a butter trail behind her, never to be seen again.

[Mr.Mango No.4593783]

This is my story fella's, I hope you enjoyed it. Paula sure did.

[Anonymous No.4593792]

I am semi-hard for some reason.
I feel ashamed.

[Anonymous No.4593805]

>it was like I was staring into the butter sun.

[Anonymous No.4593808]

Thank you, OP.

I honestly didn't read it all, but I did skip to the end.

[Anonymous No.4593814]

>>4593775
>it was like I was staring into the butter sun.
my sides are butter

[Anonymous No.4593823]

Nice job OP.

Now get in the Sambo suit, we gots Bobby's wedding to git to!

[None !2fiREZiSTw No.4593826]

worst story, teen

[Anonymous No.4594044]

Omg, funniest thing I've ever read. Butter Farts.

[Anonymous No.4594067]

>>4593826

AWWWWWWWWWWW is the tripfag jealous that quality OC is getting attention and his shitposting isn't?

[Anonymous No.4594080]

>Melted, hot, asshole butter was all over my face. I came harder than I ever have in my life.

words... my sides...

[Anonymous No.4594086]

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

[Anonymous No.4594092]

> Melted, hot asshole butter was all over my face.

I laughed so hard that I started crying butter and had to get up to make some toast so I could wipe it up and keep reading. Thanks for the snack.

[Anonymous No.4594109]

Wow... that's quite a literary masterpiece you've got there. Reading this while listening to some chinese music... it put me into a Zen-like state.

[A girl that will break the rules !!HoD47VKsSK0 No.4594117]

Why, /b/?
Thanks for the sides, but, just why?

[Anonymous No.4594128]

Thanks for the material.... I used it

[Anonymous No.4594242]

R.I.P my sides