What is the worst meal that someone has ever cooked for you?

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Anonymous Wed Sep 4 17:40:37 2013 No.4773399 [DELETED]

What is the worst meal that someone has ever cooked for you?

Anonymous Wed Sep 4 17:42:50 2013 No.4773402

My Uncle was off his meds, and he made us some God awful casserole bullshit. It was half cooked, and some bits were over done. It had just about every spice we had in the cabinet, half cooked vegetables of every kind, and some meat I couldn't identify.

But yeah, eastern and western spices don't mix with crap like that.

Anonymous Wed Sep 4 17:53:36 2013 No.4773422

In one meal, I and other dinner guests were served:

rice mixed with boiling water, sour cream, snipped chives and cheddar cheese baked in the oven; the rice, of course, was still raw (I think he thought all rice was instant rice, poor thing)
chicken quarters simmered in a mixture of a bottle of barbecue sauce and an equal volume of chicken broth; the chicken was then grilled and the result, although tasteless and mushy, at least was cooked through and somewhat edible
refried beans from a tin mixed with salsa from a jar topped with sour cream
shredded mixed cabbage from a bag tossed with caesar dressing from a bottle (yes: cabbage; not lettuce)
yellow cake from boxed mix with frosting from a pouch

And this was after the guy cooking bragged and bragged and bragged how great of a cook he is and another person confirmed the fib.
That was the first and last time I ate at the home of a white WASP American who grew up in the Yankee 'burbs. They can't cook, fullstop.
After recounting this story to other Americans of other backgrounds, I was informed that an American WASP must be from the south to be able to cook a damn. They will otherwise cook as this guy did or even worse.
Tom Armstrong, your cooking is fuckawful. Go die.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 4 18:03:54 2013 No.4773449 Dinnertime at my friends house as a young boy. We has lasagne. It was the only time in my life where food made me cry. I can still smell it today.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 4 18:22:40 2013 No.4773512 my mom's pepto bismol surprise. I'mfairly certain she was going for beef stroganof but it looked smelled and tasted like pepto bismol

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 4 18:24:36 2013 No.4773521 >>4773422 Cabbage is better than Iceberg lettuce, you fucking swine.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 4 18:26:12 2013 No.4773529 >>4773512 what was the surprise

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 4 18:27:39 2013 No.4773536 >>4773422 Yeah, fuck the patriarchy! Fucking privileged wasps.

Anonymous Wed Sep 4 18:34:35 2013 No.4773557

>>4773521
Yes, it is better than iceburg lettuce (I don't think we have crispwater back home; is iceburg an American exclusive?), but there are myriad other lettuces better than any cabbage for the purpose of salad, most of which are neither rare/uncommon nor costly, such as romaine, butter/bibb, frisée and others.
Or what about spinach? "Spring mix?" There's no end to the things that make better salads than cabbage does.

>>4773536
wut

Anonymous Wed Sep 4 18:36:38 2013 No.4773563

Way back when I was in college grandma gave me a jar of what she called "brown soup" to take back after a break.
It was wet. It was brown. It was greasy.
It may at one time been ground beef and broth, at my best guess. Me and the guys who were brave enough to try it argued for a few days over what we thought was in it, got to the point where we took bets on it.
When I asked grandma over the phone later she said she forgot what it was and just gave it to me instead of throwing it away.

I'm glad she's dead.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 4 18:50:35 2013 No.4773620 >>4773422 >WASP I'm glad to say I had to use google and that you received shitty food.

Anonymous Wed Sep 4 18:58:47 2013 No.4773653

My dad and I have our fair share of failures as the cooks in our family. Nothing stands out, really.

I guess some shit my Midwestern grandma. She was raised by chain-smokers (strike 1) in Iowa (strike 2), didn't start cooking until she was in her 20s (strike 3) and made shit straight out of 1960s cookbooks, the kind with the Jello mold salads, (strike 4) and relied heavily on frozen foods (strike 5).

I have had some of the most tasteless food at my grandma's house. Chicken and egg noodles that will little more than frozen chicken breasts boiled in water with mushy noodles added in. 'Enchiladas' that are flour tortillas stuffed with ground beef, topped with American cheese.

Don't get me wrong, she can make Iowa staples like a mother. Lots of pork tenderloin sandwiches for sure. But if she leaves the pork comfort zone, it's just watery mush.

Anonymous Wed Sep 4 18:59:47 2013 No.4773658

I once came home from work really late around 2am and the lights were broken, I tried to cook chicken, at about 300grams before I realised it was not cooked...like at all. I know have firsthand experience with stomach cramps and violent shitting so extreme I was begging for death.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 03:06:51 2013 No.4774729 Any fucking thing my mother-in-law makes. I love my wife, but her fucking mother can't cook for shit. Can't season anything, can't spice anything, fucking awful That's what I get for marrying a damn Yankee.

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 04:04:49 2013 No.4774802

I've eaten bad food that people have cooked several times over the years, but the most vivid memory of bad food for me goes back to 4th grade. We had a party for the end of school, and everyone's mom brought snacks or desserts. My mom brought a huge tray of various kinds of cookies, which were awesome. She was a culinary school teacher and had been since before I was born, so I was used to eating really good food. A mom of one of my friends brought some chocolate cupcakes. I rarely ate cupcakes, so I was excited to have one. I took one, and as the mom stood there beaming at me, I smelled it, and thought it smelled a little weird, then I took a bite, and encountered severe disappointment and disgust. It tasted like plastic. Like, burnt plastic. It was the first time I had that sort of dessert disappointment, and I remember it very clearly. I can still practically smell and taste that damn nasty cupcake.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 04:18:39 2013 No.4774817 >>4773422 Does he watch Sandra Lee or something? >>4773536 ^ Watch an episode or two of anything Sandra Lee has done. No matter how rich or privileged you are, you can't help but feel hatred for her and her ilk.

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 04:30:42 2013 No.4774833

This is more sad than anything.

I stayed with a friend for a while during summer holiday. Her mother did all the cooking and was sweetly housewife-ish despite also working in a school. With such a mom and a traditional father, and my roommate being quite overweight, I was prepared for amazing dinners.

Oh god. Everything was from a package or extremely plain. For example, an entire week might consist of chicken either done in a pan or baked in foil (several nights- same spice, no sauce, just whole breasts), rice a roni sides, and a token veggie from a can or microwaved frozen (plain). The kicker was that the amount of vegetables they'd make, for all 4 of us, was equivalent to the amount I'd eat in one sitting at home. And the father never ate any at all.

Eventually I found a way to discreetly ask the mother about it, because even she seemed unhappy with her cooking.

Turns out, the father grew up on food like this. He won't eat any vegetables and just wants plain meats really. He'll eat other things if they're there, but won't try anything new either. She used to try and make good food at the start, but he just shit all over her efforts and asked for this. So to her, it became not worth it to do anything more than add water to a mix and shove chicken in the oven, since that's what he wanted anyway. And since the father set such an example when my roommate was a child (refusing vegetables and not trying new things) my roommate ended up only a little better.

It was so depressing seeing her break out the chicken and rice a roni every day after that.

A few months after I left, the father had a health check for work and was deemed unfit to continue due to extreme high cholesterol and blood pressure. So he basically lost his job and health over being such a dick about food.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 04:38:39 2013 No.4774846 >>4774833 good, maybe he learned something (not likely)

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 04:41:42 2013 No.4774850 Grandfather once ran avocado, blue cheese, whipped cream (the kind from a spraying can thingy, sweetened), shrimp and lemon juice in a blender. He scooped this goo up and served on half avocados. It was... terrible

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 04:44:40 2013 No.4774855

>>4773399
A semester abroad in the uk
whole guest family was fat as hell, even their 2 year old kid (looked a bit funny when he walked).
Frozen meals 7 days a week, although the mother was staying at home, no fresh vegetables or fruit at home. Breakfast consisted of the shittiest white bread I ever ate in my life with peanut butter, nutella and generic bland yellow block of cheese.
I was 16 at that time. Most of my allowance went into buying ACTUAL food so I don't starve and won't come home with 10kg more on my body.

I changed families after 9-10 weeks.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 04:46:42 2013 No.4774857 >>4774850 replace the whipped cream with sour cream and the shrimp with dried shrimp and I could totally see this working

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 06:29:33 2013 No.4774951
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>go to friend's house
>he recently turned Paleo
>dinner time comes by, he just drops a big raw chunk of old beef on my plate, not even prepared in any special way or with any kind of seasoning
>"what the fuck is this?"
>"that's food. that's what our ancestors ate. my spirit animal is the lion"

I guess I shouldn't bring this up because it's technically not something somebody COOKED for me, but still. Fuck the paleo cult.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 06:57:48 2013 No.4774979 When I was little my dad made something called Hamburger Pie. It was a pie shape made with bisquick and ground beef. It was absolutely disgusting.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 07:16:06 2013 No.4774990 >>4774855 sadly thats typical british diet, I wouldn't be surprised if you got the same sort of family again

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 07:20:08 2013 No.4774997 >>4774951 Fucking faggot, cooking predates humanity. You should have punched him in the face, taken the meat, said "this is what our ancestors did" and went home.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 07:20:08 2013 No.4774999 >>4774951 Paleo means pre-agriculture. Fire and cooking was around long before then, so he's not even doing it right.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 07:40:04 2013 No.4775025 >>4773399 some farmer cut off a chicken's head, it went flying headless spraying blood everywhere, and later it was uneatable it was so fucking chewy

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 07:44:06 2013 No.4775037 >>4775025 >and later it was uneatable it was so fucking chewy It was a domestic chicken, they're always chewier than factory grown.

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 08:26:07 2013 No.4775072

>>4773399
About 5 years ago son makes me a birthday cake. I think we alright I don't care for cake, but I was very happy that he would take the time of his day to do that for me.
So we have the birthday dinner, everyone celebrates me, it is a little much honestly. Then my boy comes out, with this cake. It isn't decorated to well. The he places it in front of me. It says
>Dad I am gay
Mother fucking shit why this on my birthday of all days.
So I kicked him out of the house and I haven't had any contact with him since the incident.
Worst cake ever.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 08:37:09 2013 No.4775084 >>4774833 She should leave him before he ruins her health as well.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 08:46:09 2013 No.4775099 >>4774833 What a loyal house wife.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 08:49:09 2013 No.4775107 >>4775072 He tried to ruin your birthday with cake you don't even like? I don't blame you for kicking him out

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 08:57:08 2013 No.4775126 >>4775107 Well that was a minus, but the whole coming out of the closet thing was bad. My friends were over. As was his weird friend, I assume they had been dating in secret. What a failure. Fortunately my other boys are not gay.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 09:01:08 2013 No.4775141 >>4775126 Or so you think.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 09:02:08 2013 No.4775145 >>4775072 You done good anon, you done good.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 09:03:08 2013 No.4775148 >>4775141 Well both have their own families now. One has a kid on the way, the other has a 2 year old. Lets hope I am write though.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 09:08:09 2013 No.4775155 >>4775072 I lol'd

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 09:13:09 2013 No.4775165

A squid baguette.

I usually like squid but it was terrible, I couldn't chew through any of it and all the testicles were sticking out the sides and no matter how hard I pulled and chewed I couldn't get through them. I tried swallowing a few whole but it didn't work.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 09:14:09 2013 No.4775166 >>4775165 Well how many testicles did you chew?

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 09:16:07 2013 No.4775170 >>4775072 Should have turned the crib over on that one anon

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 09:17:09 2013 No.4775173 >>4775148 >both have their own families now So does Tom Cruise

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 09:20:10 2013 No.4775175 >>4775173 Good point. I better keep a closer eye on those two.

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 09:24:12 2013 No.4775178

Taking worst in the other meaning, my friend had her birthday at Cafe Rouge, most of us don't like the place as it's overpriced shit. We just ordered the burgers thinking that can't go wrong.

All three of them were overcooked to burnt and had no seasoning. As something so simple I don't know how the restaurant messed up so badly.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 09:27:22 2013 No.4775181 >>4775175 Make sure he eats lots of turnips

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 10:17:09 2013 No.4775264 >>4775072 >eating fag cake Enjoy your AIDS

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 10:31:09 2013 No.4775277 >>4774833 that's the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard on this board.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 10:36:10 2013 No.4775286 tomato jello dessert the idea was sound but the execution was awful, i still puke in my mouth thinking about it

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 10:58:18 2013 No.4775319
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When I was around 7 years old my brother and I went to our father's for the weekend. He fed us the same fucking thing every night for dinner that will haunt my stomach for eternity.

Fucking nasty ass meatballs and gravy in a can. He called it meatball soup. Wouldn't heat it, just splop it out out of the can into bowls.

If we didn't eat it, there was literally nothing else we could eat until the next meal of fucking meatball soup.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 11:04:04 2013 No.4775337 >>4774833 Fucking moron. He got what he deserved

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 11:07:04 2013 No.4775341 File: 90 KB, 397x720, 0MpQcQO.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4774951 top kek, what a fucking retard

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 11:08:04 2013 No.4775343 >>4775072 strong lel

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 11:30:04 2013 No.4775366

>>4773563
Goddamn old people. My grandmother did the same thing. When I moved out, she gave me a big box of canned foods and dehydrated soup. Basically cleaning out her own cabinets. Nearly everything was expired, one can had a sell by date of 1998. I still have that can now just because it's so ridiculous.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 11:30:04 2013 No.4775367 Hamburger with quinky sauce

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 11:32:04 2013 No.4775371 >>4775319 I'm guessing your mom got everything in the divorce. Poor guy.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 11:33:04 2013 No.4775375 I had to eat in Britain for four days once. Britain.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 11:42:04 2013 No.4775389 I still have flashbacks to when I was like 8 and refused to eat some shitty pasta dish my mom made. I got so bad they made me finish my meal in the garage like a dog

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 11:50:11 2013 No.4775401
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>>4775319
Id like to revise my answer from earlier in the thread.

Vienna sausages from a can are hands down the grossest and most awful thing I've ever eaten. Some girl got me to try one in college (she would eat a ton of them) and I basically spewed it everywhere right after it touched my tongue

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 11:58:05 2013 No.4775412

Staying at my grandmothers house.

I would always get a ready meal, one of those ones that come in the box with a chewy piece of meat in jelly with dry corn and mashed potatoes that have the texture of toothpaste.
To go with it I was always given a piece of buttered bread with ketchup on it. She would always cut the crusts off in case I choke.
And to wash it down I was given a plastic cup of skimmed milk. I wasn't allowed it in a glass in case I break it and cut myself and I couldn't have tea because I could burn myself
The cutlery was a spoon, if something had to be cut she would cut it for me because I could cut myself with a knife or fork.
She would stare over me the whole time I was eating, you know, just because I could choke.
When I had to sleep there, she would sit in the room and wait until I was asleep in case I die trying to sleep.
When I was very, very young she would do it on the toilet too. Just because I may fall down or something.
At the age of 10 she called round a friend to sit and watch me whilst she left the house for 5 minutes to go to the chemist, didn't want me going outside because I may get hit by a car or shot or strangled or whatever strange thing she thinks will happen.

I just realized how little of this is about food, but the food was still terrible.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 12:22:05 2013 No.4775449 >>4775286 i bet you could pull that of with tomato water as the flavor base, just not too much sugar

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 12:53:32 2013 No.4775479 >>4775371 They were never married. He's just the kind of guy who buys meth instead of food for his children.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 13:00:10 2013 No.4775489 >>4775412 Man, did your grandmother have a younger sibling or a kid die on her or something? That sounds like mental illness borne from something shitty happening.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 13:33:02 2013 No.4775546 >>4775489 Just her husband.

>>	KnackDayOne Thu Sep 5 15:34:43 2013 No.4775864 >>4775072 good on you. fuck faggots

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 15:41:38 2013 No.4775882 my mother mad fried potatoes with loads of thyme. she saw me make fried potatoes once and tried to copy it, using the wrong herbs. i couldn't finish it. it tasted too much like essential oils.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 16:56:11 2013 No.4776075 >>4775412 >to go to the chemist wut

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 17:35:16 2013 No.4776159 >>4776075 pharmacy/drugstore for you yanks

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 20:42:02 2013 No.4776553

A friend of my stepfather came to visit, once, and much was made of his famous meatloaf recipe, and how he would make it for us when he arrived. I should have known this would not end well, because he was from Ohio. For those of you who haven't been, Ohio is sort of like the Fallout setting only with more vegetation.

Anyway, the guy shows up and has my mother pick up the ingredients for this much-anticipated dinner while she's out doing the normal weekly shopping. Later, I helped her unpack the food. "Why did you get two big bottles of ketchup?" I inquired. "They're for the meatloaf," she replied, with a hint of uncertainty.

Additionally, there was a generic packet of meatloaf seasoning.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make here is that even though the meatloaf tasted like a heavily-spiced sponge soaked in ketchup, and most of the people who ate it got sick, the thing that makes this meal worth posting about is that it was my introduction to Veg-All. That was the side dish preferred by our guest cook, and never in my life have I seen such lifeless, awful veggies. The peas were mush, the lima beans existed, and the colors were so washed out that only way to tell the corn from the potatoes was the terrible black veins running through many of the latter.

I can still smell it.

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 21:00:03 2013 No.4776598

>>4775072
I almost want to have a gay son, just so I can throw him away too.

Buddy of mine kept bragging about this dish he makes, and how it is the greatest thing ever.
So after hearing about for weeks I cave and go to his place to try it.
This is what I was served.
>Large flour tortilla
>Thick layer of mayo
>1 pound of cooked ground beef of very questionable quality.
>Low fat Ranch dressing
>Sort sort of cheese that doesn't melt.
>White bread.
So he piled this shit on, and placed it under the broiler for like 2 minutes for some reason. The cheese doesn't melt at all.
Then he brings the sloppy shitastic mess, half folds his and picks it up to start eating it. Much of it falls out on to his plate. I just stare at him. He says the best part is when all of the grease and meat bits fall to the plate he wipes it up with the white bread.
I got up and left.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 21:01:03 2013 No.4776600 >>4776159 Ah I see. I usually get a tonic and some exotic oil for my wife's ulcer while I'm at the apothecary.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 21:04:02 2013 No.4776608 >>4773536 epik may may brah tips fedora :^)

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 21:11:02 2013 No.4776638 Pretty much any lasagna my mom makes that's not like the original lasagna. Taco lasgna, ham and cheese lasagna....not so good

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 21:14:03 2013 No.4776649 >>4776638 Oh, and one time I slept over a friend's house and her aunt made shepherd's pie. My family's version is always this delicious pot of thick mashed potatoes with ground beef and corn, and this one had the consistency of soup.

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 21:18:02 2013 No.4776660
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my ex roommate's spaghetti *heave*

angel hair pasta, tomato sauce w/ canned mushrooms and canned zucchini and frozen bell peppers (the entire bag), and fucking sliced kilbasa.

served with a slice of bread toasted and slathered with margarine and so much garlic salt it's inedible.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 21:19:02 2013 No.4776667 >>4776660 >angel hair pasta >kielbasa Oh lord. Textural overload. >margarine They still make that shit?

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 21:25:03 2013 No.4776683

>>4776667
Seriously. If I'm having angel hair pasta I want a light coating of cream sauce on it. Tomato sauce is too "heavy" for it to stand up. And the goddamned kielbasa was just pure laziness on her part. She couldn't be arsed to make meatballs. And seriously, kielbasa and marinara sauce do NOT go well together.

Yeah she had some fake vegan ass butter shit that seemed exactly like margarine to me, and she poured garlic salt all over the toast. I took one bite and flinched at the saltiness.

She was a horrible cook and had the nerve to consider going to chef school when she wouldn't even buy fresh chicken because she was afraid of it. She would only buy frozen and then boil in in Italian Dressing for EVERYTHING. fuck.

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 21:28:02 2013 No.4776687

>one night
>everyone is drunk
>uncle and aunt over at our place like 4 days out of the week
>uncle decides to try and cook for the first time in his life
>he heats up a pot and throws a little oil in it
>tries to cook raw fucking rice in the pot
>I knew this was going to end badly but I was too drunk to give a shit, went in the living room and laid on the couch passing out
>suddenly wake up to smoke alarm beeping the fuck up
>jump to my feet immediately 100% instant sober somehow
>run to the kitchen
>holy shit why is that pot on fire
>aunt laughing her ass off while hosing down the stovetop with the retractable faucet
>uncle drunkenly laughing while fanning the smoke alarm with a baking tray
>morning after she tells me he tried making fried rice like I always do and put water in the fucking oil with rice
Could have been alot worse, he only used a little oil.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 21:30:03 2013 No.4776695 >>4773449 elaborate!

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 21:33:02 2013 No.4776700

>camping with friends
>we all take turns cooking, me and my friend both make godlike campfire food like nobody's business
>third guy's turn to make breakfast
>the bacon is charred black
>the eggs are yolky, not runny, fucking yolky
>the cheese he added didn't melt, was fucking cold actually
>he somehow ruins the only pan we were using, i don't even know how but he did it

how do you even fuck up that hard

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 21:40:02 2013 No.4776724 >>4776700 In his defense, it was probably his first time cooking over a campfire.

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 21:41:02 2013 No.4776726

>>4776700
>he somehow ruins the only pan we were using, i don't even know how but he did it

ugh, that reminds me of something that happened recently.

>move into apartment this quarter
>new roommates are pretty chill
>ask them to not cook meat on my stuff (vegetarian), they all agree
>one day one of their friends moves in
>doesn't pay rent but still lives here during the week
>very first day he's here
>I go to class ~9:40 and he was waking up
>other roommate comes back ~10
>everyone in the building is standing outside
>fire alarm went off
>don't find out till I open the cupboard to get my skillet
>find giant hideous scorch marks on what was previously a perfectly clean skillet

Apparently the dude tried to cook some eggs and ham on my fucking skillet, but ended up burning the butter before he could start. When he got back from the fire alarm, he finished "cooking".

Fuck, it really bothered me that he didn't even ask, "hey, can I borrow this skillet?" even though he easily could have.

sage because I didn't actually eat his food.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 22:09:24 2013 No.4776793 >>4774833 Why am I so sad? It reminds me of home. I'm going to eat the last of the salad I have saved.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 22:17:10 2013 No.4776822 File: 19 KB, 220x220, 220.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4775401 Man, I eat Carmela's from the can. It's so salty yet I enjoy it.

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 22:59:12 2013 No.4776910

>>4774979
Shit, I was just gonna write about this
>Mom tries making "hamburger pie" from the back of a bisquick box
>Meat is super well done
>Disgusting, unflavored juices made the "bread" mushy and flavorless
>Whole tomatoes for some reason, tasting terrible.
>Super sharp cheddar
>I think there were potatoes, which were mushy and overcooked

The thing fell apart when you tried to eat it, and was disgusting anyway. Glad she only made that once.

Anonymous Thu Sep 5 23:05:15 2013 No.4776925

>Dad's birthday a year or two ago
>We're making burgers and fries and shit
>Usually bake the fries, but this time we decided to fry them
>Did it too late, and the burgers were almost done, so we hurried the last batch
>Obviously they weren't done, because I bit one and it was cold and mushy inside, and tasted like a wet, uncooked potato (which it was)
>I tried another one, hoping to get the crispy cooked ones
>It was even more disgusting
>Got caught in my throat, I couldn't swallow
>Threw up

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 23:08:12 2013 No.4776929 >>4776553 I lol'd

>>	Toki Wartooth Thu Sep 5 23:44:12 2013 No.4776990 Cold, mushy spaghetti with bottled sweet and sour sauce and huge chunks of celery. How that could be someone's favourite meal, I'll never know.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 5 23:56:12 2013 No.4777013 >>4776598 I don't know if that is the worst thing in thread but it is pretty bad.

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 00:00:13 2013 No.4777018

>>4776910
sweet jesus I remember this shit. My Father made it once a long time ago and then never made it again because he claimed it was 'too unhealthy'. I dont know how your folks done goofed, but I remember this stuff being absolutely divine to my uncultured 8 year old palette.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 00:05:13 2013 No.4777023 >>4776649 >shepherd's pie >beef stop doing this that's a fucking cottage pie do you even know what a shepherd is

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 00:06:13 2013 No.4777026 >>4773529 it was actually just peptobismol with some beef mixed in surprise!

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 00:10:12 2013 No.4777029 >>4773399 Ex-aunt made old french frys from a freezer bag in a small deep fryer. Vomited so much I use that memory to induce vomiting.

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 03:05:51 2013 No.4777234

My mum has always been one to overcook meat and vegetables. She's now a vegan, but has yet to understand blanching vegetables doesn't mean you can get food poisoning from them being 'too raw'.

>be like 8 or 9
>used to love green beans, just green veggies in general - mum never made them though, my friend's mum did
>mum decides to make me some, super excited
>we all sit down to eat, and I look at my plate
>they're swollen beyond recognition, they are just green mush
>as she tried to scoop them out of the pot, she mashed them with the spoon
>I taste some - horrific
>I try mixing a little into my potatoes and gravy - I can feel the bile rising
>I hide them behind my potatoes, and finish everything else
>she sees that they're still there, has a fit about wasting the food I begged for
>eventually confess that they're too mushy and taste like swamp water and arse
>she tells me I can't leave the table until I eat them, and watches me do it
>I ran outside and threw up in the garden immediately, so violently I was on my hands and knees in the dirt
>now I can't think about green beans without remembering the taste and texture of those monstrosities

I decided to try them again in China, fried in chili oil - they were amazing, and I fell in love again, but I can't think too hard about them as I eat them. I just pretended they were something else, since the thought of green beans turns my stomach horrifically. I used to use the memory to get out of school sick, since I at the very least dry heave when I think about them.

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 03:10:51 2013 No.4777237
File: 5 KB, 125x125, 1350463637891s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4777023
There is no correlation between the name and the meat. Cottage pie and shepherds' pie are synonymous. This "shepherds' pie is lamb" thing is something made up by stupid people.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 03:11:48 2013 No.4777238 >>4776159 not him, but glad to have learned something today;

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 03:13:50 2013 No.4777241

>>4776553
>For those of you who haven't been, Ohio is sort of like the Fallout setting only with more vegetation.
>Additionally, there was a generic packet of meatloaf seasoning.
> the lima beans existed
chuckled a lot. Really like the structure and tone of this post. I hope you're a regular poster

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 03:15:50 2013 No.4777243

My ex bf lived with a colourful bunch a few years back. I'm still friendly with this guy in the story - he's pretty big, but has improved his eating habits a lot.

backstory: We'd had a big night the night before, I had gotten as drunk as I have ever been in my whole life, and gotten very sick (it passed quickly and I just passed out, not a proud moment). The next day, K decides to make his specialty dish to cheer our hungover selves up.

>smells like sausages, think he's frying us some up
>we're getting excited, it's taking hours, must be elaborate
>eventually, he brings me a plate
>"it's bacon and egg pie!"
>I've never eaten it before (from a vegan family) so I got excited for a moment, before I look at it properly
>no bacon, instead the bottom was a layer of cheap sausage meat from a tube, a good 3 inches of it (it was more of a giant block really)
>tells me he used 2 dozen eggs between us, they're quite burnt on a thick layer on top of the meat
>several thick layers of store-bought pastry on top, he'd bought sweet pastry by accident
>there was a red gravy all over it, but when I tried it, it was actually just ketchup watered down
>he's quite sensitive, so I ate the whole thing and said it was good
>others start taking the piss, he gets shitty
>his dead dad had taught him the recipe
>"oh..."
>he made us all eat seconds, none of us dared complain or decline
>went back to my own flat, puked my guts up outside some poor soul's door (there was a drain, but I missed it my dizzy, sick state)
>the greasy, sweet, burnt-egg smelling mess haunts me to this day

Every time I decide to try a new meat, shit like this happens. Damn my vegan family for not teaching me about different kinds of meat in my youth.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 03:17:51 2013 No.4777246 >>4773422 a white WASP thats a little redundant

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 03:17:52 2013 No.4777245

>>4777237

Shepherd's pie is supposedly names that simply because it can stay in the oven for a long time, so it'll be perfectly ready when the shepherd comes home to his wife, which was always at uncertain times.

Or so my mum says. She's a farming wife, so I'm assuming she knows these things. She could be full of shit.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 04:28:07 2013 No.4777344 My moms once tried making mashed carrots, but it was not in fact properly mashed and the cream was substituted with velveeta cheese. It was pretty nauseating on account of texture and the unusual sweetness of the dish, but it was healthy at least!

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 05:02:41 2013 No.4777371 >>4777344 >Velveeta

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 07:00:48 2013 No.4777499 File: 141 KB, 800x531, 3365383623_4a7acce231_o[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4776700 >yolky You mean a runny yolk? That's how you're supposed to eat eggs you fucking nigger

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 07:05:47 2013 No.4777502 >>4773563 I grandma made the most delicious pot roast and baked apples. I can't really remember what else she made well, but those two things are still the best renditions I've had.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 07:13:49 2013 No.4777510 >>4773399 Chicken breast cooked in water and whipped cream from a can. No I'm not joking.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 07:17:06 2013 No.4777512 This thread, fuck. I think the worst thing I've ever had made for me is a burnt steak.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 07:26:06 2013 No.4777518 What the fuck is the meal in OP's picture? Is that mince and gravy? Gravy from granules? I honestly cant tell.

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 07:30:06 2013 No.4777521

A salad at my aunt's house.

There was nothing on the salad but
>cucumber
>tomato
>beetroot
>onions, lots of fucking onions
All drenched in salad cream, so much salad cream

The lighting was so dark that it all looked dull and even more depressing and nobody was saying a single word whilst we slowly ate it.

She said half way through
>if anyone wants anymore you can go get it
She said the "you can go get it" part agressivley
After a 10 second pause someone said that they think everyone has enough. She dropped her fork on the plate, shrugged her shoulders, raised her voice and said.
>great, more food wasted!

Nobody said a thing after that, even after they finished people just quietly stood up and walked away.

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 08:01:54 2013 No.4777542 [DELETED]

File: 230 KB, 1600x1066, pancake 1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I have a German grandma who can't cook for shit.

One time she made me her version of "German Pancakes".

Three sheets of round pancake, a quarter thick, dense as a rubber show sole, and slathered in marmalade.

You see, the marmalade was the only real reason you could eat the shit. It helped the dry as fuck things slide down your throat.

Then, imagine throwing a brick off a bridge into a small pool of water. That's what it felt like swallowing these things when they hit your stomach.

It has been over 15 years, but I will never forget that atrocious meal.

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 08:04:55 2013 No.4777544
File: 230 KB, 1600x1066, pancake 1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I have a German grandma who can't cook for shit.

One time she made me her version of "German Pancakes".

Three sheets of round pancake, a quarter thick, dense as a rubber shoe sole, and slathered in marmalade.

You see, the marmalade was the only real reason you could eat the shit. It helped the dry as fuck things slide down your throat.

Then, imagine throwing a brick off a bridge into a small pool of water. That's what it felt like swallowing these things when they hit your stomach.

It has been over 15 years, but I will never forget that atrocious meal.

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 08:06:54 2013 No.4777546

>>4775401

Oh my god there was this guy I was friends with as a freshman in college, he would buy Vienna sausages from the school market and eat them with his fingers right out of the can. One day we were drunk as fuck. went to one of my school's cafeterias and he bought those damn sausages. He called me "childish" for suggesting what he was doing looked a little gross. He later threw up everywhere, all over the table and chairs and just got up and left.

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 08:18:55 2013 No.4777557

Oh fuck I remembered a really good one. So my cousin and his family think they are the pinnacle of existence (each one thinks that about themselves, I don't think they came to a consensus), and that includes their cooking. My cousin and his dad (who are as close as stink and shit) especially like to claim their amazing cooking prowess impresses all. A really good example of their "skill" is his grandmother's "famous" mac and cheese recipe, which is just large noodles, usually elbows or penne, layered with Kraft singles and garlic salt, then baked for roughly a century. It always comes out burned and tasting like dog shit.

Another good one is their omelet casserole, which is just a million scrambled eggs tossed into a pan with the same Kraft singles, some cheap shitty bacon, sausage and ham and baked for as long as the mac and cheese. It's god-awful, but they serve it every Sunday after they go to church (they're hyper-Conservative).

The worst thing I think is how my uncle cooks steak on his grill, which is to say he wraps it in aluminum foil because he "doesn't like cleaning the grill." And it's ALWAYS well-done, the man cannot cook a steak to save his life.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 08:24:55 2013 No.4777563 >>4777544 >>4777542 Why did you just make two identical posts?

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 08:31:54 2013 No.4777566 >>4777563 >Why did you just make two identical posts? OCD. I mistyped "shoe" as "Show" the first time, so deleted it and did it again.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 08:35:55 2013 No.4777569 >>4777557 I don't see a problem here at all.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 09:13:30 2013 No.4777612 >>4776075 she had to cook

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 09:25:30 2013 No.4777629 Pasta with a sauce of beaten eggs and cheese Holy fuck I puked

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 09:32:30 2013 No.4777646 >>4775366 In my summer cabin there's a canned cheeseburger that expired in the early 90s. Maybe I'll open it one day.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 10:57:51 2013 No.4777865 >>4777646 Post on /ck/ when you do.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 11:00:50 2013 No.4777874 >>4777629 Were they trying to make carbonara?

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 11:07:11 2013 No.4777894 >>4777646 This>>4777865 I want to see it too.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 11:12:10 2013 No.4777910 File: 1.17 MB, 192x144, second.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4777865 Second.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 13:01:41 2013 No.4778185 Crab brain. It was awful. I had to gag it down not to be rude. I hardly ever find anything to be disgusting, I will eat just about anything. But I have never had a fishier or saltier food in my entire life.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 13:08:43 2013 No.4778200 >>4778185 crab brain? don't you mean the guts?

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 13:11:02 2013 No.4778210 >>4778200 No, it was a Japanese dish. Actual crab brain, it looked as if it had been pureed and it was a mushy dark green.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 13:15:02 2013 No.4778216 >>4778210 vile

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 13:16:02 2013 No.4778218 >>4778216 absolutely

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 17:03:17 2013 No.4778745

Birthday cake. Specifically, MY birthday cake.
>Replace flour with oats for reasons I still don't fully understand
>Lets add raisins, fruit is good for you.
>Not entirely what she did to the icing, but it tasted like washing up liquid

Manners dictated I had to eat a large slice of this chewy pile of shite with a smile on my face, and a warm 'thank you' to the "cook" afterwards.

I mean, seriously, how can you fuck up a sponge cake that badly?

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 17:16:38 2013 No.4778776 >why this on my birthday of all days you did good, attention seeking little cunt trying to take all the attention when it should have been on you!

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 17:22:36 2013 No.4778787 File: 11 KB, 300x194, wut.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4778776 >>4778776

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 17:32:37 2013 No.4778805 >>4777521 Sounds like step dads mental sister. But she would ALWAYS include piccalilli too. And she never opened a window in her house, it was always hot and she had cats and dogs. I was forced into it as a kid.

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 17:38:38 2013 No.4778813

Oh and one I cooked before many years ago before I knew a thing about cooking. My mum had gone out and left instructions for shoving chips in the oven. Eating them wonder why they taste a bit odd later. Turns out she forgot to clean out the oven cleaner she'd sprayed in there earlier.

Horrible stuff.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 18:09:36 2013 No.4778863 File: 1.72 MB, 360x202, 7812152067.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] ITT

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 18:38:37 2013 No.4778913 >>4777566 Most people would do a *correction reply, and only for a considerably larger mistake. You have a problem

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 19:10:13 2013 No.4778959 Frozen deep dish pizza. The bread was hard as a rock, and the insides looked more like a soup than anything else. I literally cried out of confusion, I was less than ten years old though.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 19:14:13 2013 No.4778968 >>4773399 Nettle soup, made with nettles that were at least a month older than they should have been. Oh well, at least I managed to not vomit.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 21:47:43 2013 No.4779203 >>4775366 I found baking soda from 1985 in my parents' kitchen. Pretty sure there's stuff just as old, if not older, still sitting around in there.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 22:12:13 2013 No.4779244 >tfw somebody probably though i made the worst thing they ate Fuck you, mashed potatoes, ground beef, artichoke and sour cream is tasty as fuck

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 22:16:15 2013 No.4779260 >>4779244 If all those things are made and seasoned well it sounds fine.

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 22:19:12 2013 No.4779266
File: 889 KB, 726x628, mamamia.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

My dad used to always force me and my sisters to eat this weird sauce he created one night while drunk. He keeps calling it "quinky sauce" no one in the family likes it except him but everytime we tried to tell him how shit his sauce was he went bright red and would yell at us about how we were terrible kids and didn't appreciate the things he made for us. Glad i moved out and never have to deal with that horrible sauce ever again.

Anonymous Fri Sep 6 22:19:12 2013 No.4779267

My mom did most of the cooking when I was growing up, but there were a few "dad recipes" that were always my father's domain. He handled the steaks, the stews, manly shit like that -- and he was good at it.

But god, this one time. He made some kickass sausage and gravy on weekend mornings, but one day it somehow struck him to make it with pepperoni instead of sausage. The result was this yellow-orange gravy that tasted like a frozen pizza stuffed into a blender. It was just so fucking HEAVY. With nothing else in it to temper the taste of pepperoni, it was just terrifying.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 22:20:14 2013 No.4779269 Thanks Giving, Every year

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 6 22:21:14 2013 No.4779271 >>4779267 That sounds awesome. Am making tomorrow.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 01:19:44 2013 No.4779689 boiled hamburgers because she read it was healthiest way to cook

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 01:20:41 2013 No.4779693 >>4779266 he made you eat his jizz

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 01:31:43 2013 No.4779717 >>4779689 >boiled ground beef

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 01:44:43 2013 No.4779746 I remember my mom making a kind of grey, bitter, sandpapery stew with meat and carrots, but that's all I remember. My mom cooks so well usually, but that was beyond horrible. This taste, oh God, this taste...

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 02:13:42 2013 No.4779777 >>4774817 >you are now aware that sandra lee is dating the governor of NY jdimsa

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 02:20:42 2013 No.4779783

phillipino fish. My friends mother in law was a mail order bride. she made fried fish, but the philllipinos use EVERYTHING on the fish. Not knowing this I bit right into some fried fish organ/egg sack. THe texture was so bad that I literally had a hard time even typing that out.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 02:29:43 2013 No.4779791 >>4776726 >don't put your meat cooties on my superior vegetarian pan shut up

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 02:38:42 2013 No.4779803 >>4777865 do it nao!

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 03:02:43 2013 No.4779817

I used to have a really shitty baby sitter as a child. She was terribly over weight, and never could make a proper meal.
Every day would be mac and cheese + microwave hot dogs. The mac and cheese would be extremely soupy, like she never drained the water. The taste was just kinda shitty. At least the hot dogs where decent.
When my mom found out how shit she was at cooking she made us go to our aunt instead.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 04:01:39 2013 No.4779869 >>4777874 No clue what he was trying to make. There was no meat in there. It was like: Yeah, I know this awesome recipe! I knew it was going in the wrong direction when the sauce only partially started to clot. And the smell, holy fuck the smell.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 05:46:16 2013 No.4779948 >>4779783 Expecting to eat one thing and get another is the worst feeling. Even if it's something you like, the surprise texture or taste is extremely unsettling.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 05:50:16 2013 No.4779952

>Dinner at friends house
>His mom says she will cook us something (his dad usually was the cook)
>Fixes us Rice & tiny italian meatballs, with bbq sauce.

The quality of my moms cooking is starting to drop pretty hard now too.
And no other meat beyond chicken breast (will not touch any other meat)
She complains about GMO and hormone laden foods, and still continues to eat chicken. I seriously don't get it.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 08:41:42 2013 No.4780123

>>4775277
>>4776793
Yeah, staying with them really changed my view of obese people. Because the father wasn't even super-fat, but he'd screwed over my roommate who moved out with fucked up ideas about what was a "meal" or a serving of vegetables. Roommate thought I was lovably insane for cooking with a variety of spices and having a vegetable or pasta as a main dish despite not being vegetarian. Also for going to the supermarket every week (they only needed to go once a month due to eating this way). Thought I must spend all my money on food to eat the way I do, but really I spent waaayyyy less.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 09:12:18 2013 No.4780142 I don't like my mother's cooking. There I said it.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 09:20:17 2013 No.4780156 >>4773422 >American WASP Kind of redundant, don't you think? Also, I can assure you that no one I know cooks like that. That guy just had to have been mentally retarded. And I grew up in the suburbs in Maryland.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 09:28:18 2013 No.4780165 >>4780123 >vegetable or grain as a main dish poverty tier cooking methodology

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 09:58:19 2013 No.4780200 >>4780165 "Hurr durr meat MUST be the center of ever single meal or ur a vegn fag!!"

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 10:00:21 2013 No.4780203 >>4780200 Go be mad somewhere else, carrot fucker

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 10:03:22 2013 No.4780207

>>4780200
it doesn't have to be a meat, but it should be protein rich. protein is the only macronutrient that serves a function other than simply turning directly into fat or energy, so it should always be a larger portion of your diet than anything else unless you're trying to destroy your muscles

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 10:09:20 2013 No.4780211 >>4780142 Me neither. She doesn't cook much but when she does it isn't good.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 10:10:22 2013 No.4780213 >>4780207 No.... the nervous system runs exclusively on sugars.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 10:11:19 2013 No.4780218 >>4780213 great, so let's make 100% of our macros simple carbs so we can make sure we never risk anything happening to our nervous systems, muscular development and regeneration be fucked

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 10:11:22 2013 No.4780216 >>4773399 Risotto on a date evening at her place. It was more like soup. Bitch didn't know what she was doing, or was nervous.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 10:15:20 2013 No.4780227 >>4780207 how is it even possible to eat more protein than carbs

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 10:18:22 2013 No.4780230 >>4780218 I was just saying that to point out that the idea that only proteins have secondary uses is false. Protein, sugar and fat are all necessary in a proper diet.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 10:20:19 2013 No.4780234 >>4780227 by having a large chunk of chicken breast and a small chunk of bread instead of a small chunk of chicken breast and a large chunk of bread in your meal?

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 10:22:21 2013 No.4780236 >>4780234 For every meal? Everything seems to be loaded with carbs when I read the labels I can't imagine there are many people whose diets have protein outweighing carbs

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 10:24:20 2013 No.4780239

>>4780236
probably because you live in America where Monsanto owns all culinary everything

in other countries it's not uncommon for meat to be mixed into everything and for grains to only form a side. Mongolian cuisine, for example, relies on more meat than anything else at all, and the notion of carbs greatly outweighing proteins in a meal would completely baffle anyone in Ulan Batar

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 10:34:22 2013 No.4780252

Just last week for labor day.
>be starving
>go to grandpa's for family get together
>they put slow uncle in charge of grilling
>barbecue chicken
>only has the chicken on the grill for 10 minutes
>"Okay let's eat!"
>the chicken looks delicious from the outside
>crisp, glossy skin slathered with sauce
>go to peel off skin
>chicken is pink and dead raw, slimey
>nobody wants to say anything and hurt tard uncle's feels
>everyone else throws their chicken in the microwave
>I lose appetite from disappointment
>fat tard uncle digs into his raw chicken just fine though
>try to see if there's any sides I could pick at
>dog hair has gotten into all the food
>fuckthisshit.jpg

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 10:45:21 2013 No.4780264 >>4778959 >I literally cried out of confusion lol

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 10:56:21 2013 No.4780286 >>4780239 I live in the UK so same difference

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 11:00:21 2013 No.4780290 >>4780218 80% of my macros are simple carbs, from fruit mainly. I feel better than ever

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 11:02:25 2013 No.4780293

A friend made me try some dried carob once.
It looked and tasted like a fucking rotten banana and had the consistency of a flat tire, so it was impossible to chew.
I bit down on it especially hard because of this, until I hit one of the pea-sized, rock hard seeds, which almost broke out my fucking teeth.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 11:05:26 2013 No.4780294 >>4780290 And I'm taking your girl

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 11:08:24 2013 No.4780301 >>4780294 I'd thank you for taking away someone who'd choose a meathead over myself

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 11:11:25 2013 No.4780304 >>4780301 >girl leaves you for something better >"lel i didn't want her anyway"

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 11:11:25 2013 No.4780306 >>4780301 >meathead always the first resort of people who are offended by the notion that protein and musclebuilding is a means to human superiority enjoy your false sense of intellectual superiority while I take your girl

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 11:16:25 2013 No.4780310

>>4780304
If a person leaves you for someone else, that means you aren't compatible and aren't on the same wavelength and don't want the same thing out of eachother, so it's for the best. I wouldn't complain if a grain of sand fell through a sifter if I was looking for gold.

>>4780306
Muscle building isn't a means to human superiority. The entire reason for human superiority over animals is because of tool building, which means engaging your brain first and fists second. Stop flexing your muscles and flex your fucking head.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 11:20:26 2013 No.4780317

>>4780310
So according to you, as soon as I start to move my muscles all of my neurons cease firing, as my biology strictly limits my ability to simultaneously exert physical effort AND activate my brain?

Wow, thanks for the lesson in human sciences, I feel so educated now.

Spoilers: if you have to say you don't build muscles because you're focused on engaging your intellect, you don't have an adequate amount of either

>>	PrussianBlueCheese Sat Sep 7 11:30:27 2013 No.4780324 >>4774850 I'm not sure what it says about me, but that sounds fucking delicious.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 11:38:25 2013 No.4780338

>>4780317
I'm not saying that, I'm saying you're valuing one over the other, and the other is much more important.

I value a healthy lifestyle and human fitness a lot, but because it improves your mental state and lets you do more and gives you more energy. That's why I do a lot of cardio rather than deadlifting.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 11:42:24 2013 No.4780346

>>4780338
>I'm saying you're valuing one over the other
Except this claim is baseless. You can get big on 3 hours of lifting a week, and I've never exceeded 10 hours of lifting a week (and that was an exceptional period of time that I will probably never approach again). I bet you spend more than 3 hours a week bitching on 4chan and looking at porn, and you definitely aren't making up for the time you're not lifting by studying or something.

Probably, I'm more mentally agile than you. When I'm not on duty at work, my nose is buried in a book, usually foreign language. I didn't get good at lifting by walking into a gym and being a meathead for 8 hours a day, I did my research and lifted smart.

You're making up reasons for not working harder because, 1. hard work is hard and 2. it gives you an excuse to believe you're better than someone who is not only stronger than you, but probably smarter than you as well

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 11:45:25 2013 No.4780352 >>4780346 #rekd

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 11:49:26 2013 No.4780361

>>4780346

Why would you want or need to get big? Getting big means getting heavier, which means I run slower and my cycling times are slower. I don't want to get big. That is not my goal in fitness. I don't look at porn, and I browse 4chan casually whilst studying to break it up. I recently starting studying for my Masters degree, so I think I am making up for my time by studying.

I doubt you are. I read a lot, too. Lifting smart doesn't mean consuming copious amounts of protein. That's lifting for liver damage. You don't need to weigh 200lbs to be a power lifter. Fruitandstrength on Youtube is a high carb vegan deadlifter who weighs under 150 and lifts heavy.

I do work hard, but not towards lifting and building mass because that is not something I want to achieve. I'd rather cycle, run, read, study, protest and do charity work than lift weights to become muscular in order to get girls so superificial as to choose guys based on their biceps circumference.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 11:52:26 2013 No.4780366 >>4780203 >implying I'm a vegfag

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 11:56:27 2013 No.4780373

>>4780361
>Getting big means getting heavier, which means I run slower
"Getting big" doesn't mean doing upper body lifts you maggot

>Lifting smart doesn't mean consuming copious amounts of protein.
Eating a larger amount of chicken than bread in a meal does not equate to "copious amounts of protein." It means setting protein as a priority.

>That's lifting for liver damage
[CITATION NEEDED]

>You don't need to weigh 200lbs to be a power lifter
When did I make this remark and/or what is the correlation here to eating protein?

>Fruitandstrength on Youtube is a high carb vegan deadlifter who weighs under 150 and lifts heavy.
He can do 2x deadlifts. Great. When I was 21 I could do over 2x squats. No guarantee he's injection free either, but who cares.

>blahblah I don't like what you do so I'm gonna judge you for it
And that makes me the superficial one.
One more reason I'm stealing your girl.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 12:03:26 2013 No.4780387 My mother likes to make "Swedish Meatballs". They're balls of hamburger and oats with rice in them. She doesn't cook the rice beforehand, so it's just crunchy grains of rice inside meatballs. Fucking terrible.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 12:04:46 2013 No.4780390
File: 29 KB, 420x249, laughingsluts.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4780361
>lifting weights twice a week for strength training is going to turn me into a hulking clumsy power lifter overnight

this is what lazy skinnyfats actually tell themselves. your chest probably looks like sceak.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 12:08:46 2013 No.4780397 >>4773422 >WASP >Yankee 'burbs It really is too bad that you didn't choke to death.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 12:11:43 2013 No.4780400 >>4779791 Is it really crazy to not want to get the shits because your roommate is borrowing your things and "can't live without muh epic bacon?"

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 12:25:48 2013 No.4780442

>>4780156
>implying black Americans, White Anglo-Saxon Catholics and other groups in the US don't exist

>>4780397
I'm not even Merkin, just using the terminology best understood by all. Were he a southerner and not a "yankee," he might've cooked something artery-cloggingly delicious, but instead I and other guests were served absolute rubbish. It's absolutely true that near no one in the northern US grew up with home cookery.
>inb4 i'm from minnesota/ohio/pennsylvania etc and my family cooked
Good for you. You're in the minority by a huge margin. There's a reason that General Mills greatest sales numbers for Hamburger Helper come from the northern and northern midwestern states: cuz there's scant immigration from cultures who still cook and very few people who've been there for generations can actually cook at all anymore.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 12:59:45 2013 No.4780501 >>4780310 That feels like a lazy way to handle relationships.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 14:07:50 2013 No.4780652

>am starving
>Boyfriend says he will make hot and sour soup
>Knows I don't like spicy stuff, so says he'll tone it down
>Adds 'just a dash of chili oil'
>Lets simmer for an hour
>Still starving
>I get the first bowl
>All the chili oil had floated to the top
>MFW my entire serving was chili oil

Now he's a pretty good cook, but had some pretty epic screwups as he was learning
>"OP, I'm making beer-battered pork chops tonight"
>Puts two pork chops in frying pan
>Pours in an entire bottle of Guinness

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 14:10:52 2013 No.4780664 >>4780652 >>Puts two pork chops in a frying pan >>Pours in an entire bottle of Guinness Are there seriously people out there that just try new recipes without googling first for guidance?

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 14:23:11 2013 No.4780689 >>4780664 Yes. It was even sadder because his mother is a fantastic cook. He spent a few weekends in her kitchen. Now he makes great homemade bread, among other things and can into spices.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 14:30:09 2013 No.4780700 >>4780442 >no one in the northern US grew up with home cookery. So true. I'm from mid-michigan and my mother cooks a lot like what this poster described. >>4774833 I need help

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 14:36:08 2013 No.4780718 My aunt gave me pickled venison. It's just as disgusting as it sounds.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 14:40:07 2013 No.4780732

>>4780700
I'm sorry to hear. At least you're trying to pull out of that rut. I don't mean to be untoward with my comments about USican northerners not being able to cook, but during my time here in Murka, I've noticed that this is the case for the vast majority of them. It's a pity.
What do you cook, Anon, if at all? Or are you still trying to pull yourself up?

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 15:18:09 2013 No.4780824 >>4780230 Sugar isn't necessary though. People can function perfectly fine on ketogenic diets.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 15:23:08 2013 No.4780834 >>4780824 We don't know that.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 15:27:08 2013 No.4780841 My friend's mom would make spaghetti with meat sauce but she wouldn't drain the grease from the beef before she added it to the sauce. I had to choke it down because she's kicked other kids out of her house before for "disrespecting her hard work."

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 15:41:09 2013 No.4780871 >>4780824 >Sugar isn't necessary though Yes, yes it is. In the amounts we eat it in? No. But it IS necessary.. There is NO culture in the entire world that has survived on a meat only diet. Ketogenic? Yes. Carnivorous? No.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 15:44:08 2013 No.4780879 >>4775072 3/10 Try again later.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 15:50:09 2013 No.4780897 >>4780871 The Inuit diet is pretty much carnivorous. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inuit_diet I'm not saying a sugar-free diet is optimal, I'm just saying it's sustainable.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 16:17:17 2013 No.4780977

>>4780897
The Inuit diet is NOT carnivorous. Unless various fruits and seaweed are somehow now considered a meat. It states it in the first paragraph of the page you linked.

"Grasses, tubers, roots, stems, berries, fireweed and seaweed (kuanniq or edible seaweed) were collected and preserved"

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 17:05:47 2013 No.4781103 >>4779948 true. I love roe and caviar, but this was an uncured organ sack of fish eggs. I slowed it politely, along with the puke in my mouth.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 17:11:47 2013 No.4781117 >>4780213 that is entirely untrue.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 17:17:46 2013 No.4781134 >>4780977 Those made up a tiny minority of the Inuit diet.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 17:20:47 2013 No.4781147

>>4781117
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S030105110300156X
http://psycnet.apa.org/?&fa=main.doiLanding&doi=10.1037/0022-3514.92.2.325
http://psr.sagepub.com/content/11/4/303
http://pss.sagepub.com/content/19/3/255

You were saying? The nervous system just can't function without sugars, fullstop.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 17:21:47 2013 No.4781153 >>4781147 can't function without =/= runs exclusively on Keep moving those goalposts.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 17:23:46 2013 No.4781160 >>4781147 no, you said the nervous system functions "entirely" on sugars. I took that to mean exclusively, which is untrue. If I mischaracterized your post, I apologize. But perhaps you were unclear.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 17:46:47 2013 No.4781241 >>4781134 A minority doesn't mean they don't eat it. Humans cannot survive on an obligate carnivore diet. Humans NEED sugars in their diet. As I stated, we don't need them in the amounts that most people consume, but humans do need them.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 17:49:48 2013 No.4781247

>>4773399

Exgf, on Steak and BJ day (valentines) she decided to make a some baked chicken green bean thing, didnt mind seeing as how she cooked in lingerie and as bopping all over the place. When i cut into the chicken breast it was raw, the beans turned into charcoal, but seeing as how me eating them ensured dessert I had no choice but to think "Salmonella here I come". well worth it, even after vomiting for 3 days straight..

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 17:50:45 2013 No.4781249 File: 1017 KB, 848x900, 13463476078.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] everything my mother made.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 17:51:45 2013 No.4781251 >>4781160 I was unclear, my apologies. >>4781153 No moving goalpost intended. See above.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 17:59:47 2013 No.4781266

My dear mother on my birthday cooked a steak for me, its hard to accept when you realize your cooking skills have far surpassed your own mother. She boiled the steak in its own juices and oil with a very watery creamed spinach.

I sat down and ate it, very tough, well down, rubbery, bland tasteless creamed spinach, the whole meal was shit but I didnt have the heart to complain to her, after all she made me a meal with her own money and effort. Its the effort that counts and consideration I suppose.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 18:03:54 2013 No.4781281 >>4781266 You're a good son.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 18:06:53 2013 No.4781289

>>4773557
iceberg lettuce is pretty common. As to cabbage versus other "greens".

It mostly depends on the salad really. Sometimes cabbage is the best thing for the job, sometimes not.

You won't see a salad based on sour cabbage use anything else really.

Really comes down to what you are making.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 18:07:53 2013 No.4781295 >>4773653 Are jello mold salads stuff in aspik? That can be awesome if done well.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 18:07:53 2013 No.4781296 >>4781289 Follow the thread and you'll see it was a "Cesar salad" with cabbage instead of lettuce.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 18:13:54 2013 No.4781308

The worst thing I've ever had was from a school lunch. Normally school lunches weren't exceptional, but they weren't bad either and with some genuinely good stuff here and there. Basically what you'd imagine as a central European school canteen to look like.

But once, I guess the canteen got offered some cheap ducks or something and served duck breasts, legs? not sure was legs probably.

At first glance the piece of meat had literary chords of muscles wrapped around it.
It was essentially the duck equivalent of /sp/.

The bigger problem was though, that we couldn't get at the meat. Those chords of muscles were as hard as iron cables. A friend ended up trying to chew on one for something like half an hour. Before spitting it out and proclaiming that this could not be eaten.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 18:16:53 2013 No.4781317 >>4781296 In that case - yeah that's just what the hell? ALso as far as I know isn't ceasar salad usually made with romaine with iceberg being the thing cheap places serve?

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 18:25:53 2013 No.4781342 >>4781241 >Humans NEED sugars in their diet. That's only true insofar as amylose - starch - is a sugar, and you digest it (eventually, relatively slowly) into glucose units. You don't specifically need sweet food.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 18:28:54 2013 No.4781354 >>4781342 >You don't specifically need sweet food. And I never said we did. I said we need sugar, not sweet foods.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 18:31:53 2013 No.4781365 >>4781317 I don't know. We don't have cesar salad where I'm from and I don't have it often enough to know which lettuces are most proper. At home, I eat simple bibb with homemade balsamic vinaigrette. Nothing special.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 18:35:54 2013 No.4781373 >>4776687 >Heats up put and puts oil in it >tries to cook rice in it Holy fuck my sides.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 18:35:54 2013 No.4781375 >>4781342 >>4781354 Can we just drop this now? You two are shitting up the thread.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 18:50:53 2013 No.4781415 >>4781373 It is the secret to super crunchy rice.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 18:58:52 2013 No.4781443

>>4773399
>first girlfriends house
>her mum is cooking dinner
>minced beef fried (no seasoning or added ingredients)
>peas and sweetcorn out of a can
>mixed together with plain white rice (no seasoning)
>"what is this?"
>"it's risotto"

I got a dirty look for asking for salt and pepper

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 19:10:53 2013 No.4781468 >>4781443 >risotto Do people just make this shit up? Why would you just pick a random italian name for a dish and think that your completely unrelated shit is even similar without looking anything up?

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 19:15:53 2013 No.4781479 >>4781468 Because in a lot of places rissotto is just a rice dish. That's what people call them. Be it just cooked rice with vegs, rice with ketchup and cheese or other things. It's grown to be a more generic term.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 19:20:52 2013 No.4781487 >>4781479 Really? I've never seen used to describe anything other than very wet rice cooked with a large amount of stock.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 19:24:53 2013 No.4781495

>>4781487
it's typical in central Europe. Most germans, czechs and austrians I know would call anything that's basically mostly a rice dish a rissotto at first.

It's usually the places which never had a larger italian population really. Can see that being the case in the US as well, where there just weren't many italians.
Just spelled a bit different most of the time. The czech version would be rizoto.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 19:25:53 2013 No.4781498 >>4781495 Strange that I've never seen that here in the US.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 19:27:54 2013 No.4781505

>>4781468
She was a fucking dreadful cook, I dreaded going round there for food.

Her shepherds pie was just as bad.

>About 1 centimetre of unseasoned fried mince at the bottom
>dry, out of a packet mashed potatoes on top, about 6 centimetres thick
>mixed veg out of a can
>gravy so thin it was best described as brown water

I couldn't even eat it. I pretended to be ill

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 19:31:52 2013 No.4781514 >>4781505 Fuck. Some people just should not be allowed near a kitchen.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 19:38:53 2013 No.4781525 >>4781514 She was such a miserable old bitch. I hope she's dead now.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 19:44:52 2013 No.4781540

>>4781487
Yup.
>>4781495
In Italy, too. It's just risotto alla milanese, with arborio rice and using the liquid, stir, evaporate, liquid, stir, evaporate, liquid, stir, evaporate, liquid, stir, evaporate, liquid, stir, evaporate, liquid, stir, evaporate, liquid, stir, evaporate method is most well known.

Shit, we call 'fried rice' what would translate into English as "Cantonese risotto." Even pilaf/plov/pilao/etc is sometimes called 'risotto alla X' depending on country of origin (most commonly "risotto all'indiana").

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 20:05:53 2013 No.4781620 >>4774855 Yuck, I hated living in England for this very reason. Fucking disgusting lifestyle.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 20:40:54 2013 No.4781768 >>4780400 Why is bacon so fetish-ized? It's part of geek culture now, and it's weird

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 21:08:20 2013 No.4781840
File: 8 KB, 240x249, 1367154367125.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4780165
Just FYI the sarcastic shitposter replying from here on out does not represent me or my opinions. (the OP of the "fat roommate" story)

But I will say that this viewpoint is totally ignorant of actual nutrition. Americans in general get way more protein than we need. Go take a look at how many grams per lb bodyweight you really need, then calculate how much meat you need to eat to get that. It's not even close to what we consume daily. There's no reason to make meat the main focus of a meal if you aren't in love with it, and using green veggies as a base is objectively healthier as long as you DO hit those protein requirements.

>>4780207
you're right and wrong. We need the protein, but it's far more likely that you're overdoing it than underdoing it. No one is destroying their muscles if they aren't vegetarian.

>>4780218
>>4780234
>>4780239
shit-posting relying on faulty assumptions to make a point. I'm not even going to bother replying to the subsequent stupidity that was ellicited. Just see pic related.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 21:11:20 2013 No.4781850 >>4781768 Amerifats too fat.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 21:11:20 2013 No.4781851 >>4781840 >Americans in general get way more protein than we need [citation required]

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 21:14:21 2013 No.4781863 File: 87 KB, 432x474, angry samurai.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >Boca anything

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 22:04:21 2013 No.4782041 >>4777499 He specifically noted it WASN'T runny.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 22:09:23 2013 No.4782062 >>4781863 I like boca burgers. I also like regular beef burgers. Feels good to be open minded. Enjoy ur cave.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 22:16:22 2013 No.4782094 >>4780400 >Getting the shits >From eating food from a pan that has -touched- meat You have so fucked your own body up that it has come to love it's abuser.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 22:18:21 2013 No.4782101 >>4780200 >Eating carbs as the center of a meal This is why we're fat.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 22:21:20 2013 No.4782117 >>4782101 >>VEGETABLE or grain as main dish >assumptions

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 22:24:20 2013 No.4782132

>>4773399
First things that came to mind were these:

1. I went to a friend's house and her dad made flan. The actual custard itself was good, but the caramel was burnt something awful. Have you ever opened up a pill of acetaminophen and tasted it? It tasted like that. I was in the 7th grade and stupid, so I tried to be polite and ate it anyways.

2. I went to my aunt's house and they offered us some tamales. I was pretty excited, since I was used to my mother's God-tier tamales, but when I tried it, the filling was extremely bitter. I think she fucked up with the chili paste she mixed it in with, but it was awful. As soon as my family got into the car to leave, they started commenting on how bad they had tasted.

Anonymous Sat Sep 7 22:25:20 2013 No.4782136

I once tried to stir-fry noodles without actually learning how to, ended up with noodles that were half-raw, half burnt. Also, I did a horrible job of trimming the beef and overcooked it so it basically felt like chewing a rubber bouncy ball moreso than simply consuming poorly cooked meat.

Moral of the story: Only experiment when you actually know how the hell shit works.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 22:31:13 2013 No.4782156 >>4782117 The "or grain" part is simply unacceptable. Meat shouldn't always be the main dish, but carbs should NEVER be the main dish.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 22:34:14 2013 No.4782170 >>4775401 Dude Vienna sausages are the nastiest thing ever, made from borderline-unfit-for-humans meat. Yet I can't help but enjoy them every now and then.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 22:36:12 2013 No.4782177 >>4782156 rissotto, various porridges. Carbs can be a main dish in moderation imho.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 7 23:06:12 2013 No.4782269 File: 10 KB, 340x107, PowerBaitLogo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4775072

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 8 00:21:19 2013 No.4782442 is that champorado?

Anonymous Sun Sep 8 00:44:19 2013 No.4782480

I don't eat this. but my roommate often frys bacon and then puts pre-shredded cheese on it, the orange kind. Absolutely disgusting. Last time he used a small saute pan and I shit you not, there was an inch of grease in the pan when he was finished, after maybe making 6-7 strips.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 8 01:03:38 2013 No.4782526 >testicles lel

Anonymous Sun Sep 8 03:13:05 2013 No.4782692

>>4782177
risotto can't make a main unless it has a substantial amount of protein product. otherwise you're just eating to eat, and unless you're underweight or otherwise bulking you should avoid that

>>4782480
what's wrong with shredded cheddar? it's better than american "cheese product." and that sounds greasy and shitty, but not inedibly bad

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 8 03:16:07 2013 No.4782698 >>4775072 Why would anyone toss their son out like this? WTF is wrong with you?

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 8 05:51:29 2013 No.4782823 Coffee soup.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 8 06:07:29 2013 No.4782835 >>4782698 le troll post

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 8 14:53:27 2013 No.4783787 >>4777865 Aight, but I don't think I'll stop by there until the end of the month. Gotta clear out some trees in the woods before the snow comes.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 8 14:56:26 2013 No.4783796 File: 112 KB, 500x678, 1359158145225.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4782698 back to le reddit with you

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 8 15:51:03 2013 No.4783957 >>4774833 well, that's very depressing. in other news time to eat eggs for lunch just like i do every other day of my life

Anonymous Sun Sep 8 16:25:04 2013 No.4784044

>>4773512
how can anyone mess up beef stroganoff? I mean, just slice ingredients (all three of them), fry'em up, chuck sour cream and some mustard on it and you're done. even if you mess up propotions yuo could still call itt mustard fry up or some shit.

Anonymous Sun Sep 8 16:39:04 2013 No.4784078

>>4776687
>>4781373
>>4781415
Are you all fucking retarded? Simple cooked rice starts like this, wash rice in sieve, small amount of oil, throw rice on, almost fry then add 2x amount of water. Have you never tried making proper rice before? Fucking ricecookerfags, you make me sick.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 8 16:52:04 2013 No.4784112 >>4784078 I personally make it in the oven; Works fine. Will try it out your way.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 8 17:15:40 2013 No.4784182 >>4777510 that just sounds horrible. diarrhea horrible.

Anonymous Sun Sep 8 21:48:46 2013 No.4784991

my mom is a pretty good cook in the grand scheme of things but one day she decided to dish out the most foul food conceived by men.
I don't know what kind of fish it was but what a fresh hell it was for my taste buds.
I was pretty young when she made this destroyer of bowels so my taste was not that varied but I tended to try everything I was offered. So, the fish was probably a pollack which is pretty good, but she decided to bake it over with some cheap ass Gorgonzola. it tasted so bad I almost puked. think of the nastiest foot smell transformed into a taste and you come near what that abomination tasted like.

Anonymous Sun Sep 8 22:16:51 2013 No.4785056

>>4784991
i love gorgonzola cheese and i have no idea why. it smells like a fucking farm and i eat it on salad like nobody's business. i put it on spaghetti with butter and garlic salt once because i didn't have any sauce and once you get over the feeling that you're eating manure it's actually not all that bad

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 9 05:57:12 2013 No.4785794 >>4785056 don't get me wrong, I like Gorgonzola sauce or melted or whatever shit is tasty. but baked it was fucking vile like thinking about it still makes me gag. I don't know how she ruined it but she did

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 9 07:04:40 2013 No.4785850 >>4782692 >otherwise you're just eating to eat What if you're hungry and need calories? Why does it have to be protein? (it doesn't)

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 9 07:57:59 2013 No.4785885 >>4775072 Good job anon

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 9 07:58:59 2013 No.4785888 >>4785850 Why does it matter what that anon does with anons diet. Fuck off vegan scum

Anonymous Tue Sep 10 08:55:15 2013 No.4788395

My two worst experiences with cooking would be a cholent I had (cholent is a stew with beans and potatoes, there's often meat in there and it can be made with all sorts of other crap; it's meant to cook >12 hours, usually overnight very slowly because of silly jewish laws about the sabbath) where I think she had used dry beans, but had not soaked them beforehand, and the entire thing tasted like the water you're left with after you cook dried beans, and after you cook potatoes in a pot. I think it had meat but I could not taste it.

The other worst were these fatty brownies, they seemed like those fat heavy brownies people have for pot brownies, but they tasted of the oil you get ouf of pam, almost as if he had just sprayed into the measuring cup.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 10 09:02:19 2013 No.4788408 >>4774833 do you eat shitloads of veggies? I know I do, but I was thinking maybe you're just used to eating like large bowlfuls of broccoli so that's why they ate so little compared to you.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 10 09:04:17 2013 No.4788413 >>4774951 paleo is mostly not quite idiots not like

Anonymous Tue Sep 10 09:24:19 2013 No.4788440

My stepfather is a legendarily shitty cook.

By far the worst thing he ever made was a seafood marinara pasta.

He shelled out good money for some perfectly decent marinara mix. Cooked prawns, chunks of various bits of fish, squid, mussels.

He boiled all the fish in a pot of water until they were all overdone and flavorless, especially the prawns which had already been cooked. Then he tipped out the water (the only thing which would have had flavor in it) and tipped the seafood onto nasty overcooked pasta. And then he poured some cream on top. And that was the pasta. Ruined seafood with raw, thin cream.

I cannot describe how horrible it was. Overcooked seafood is a million times worse than raw.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 10 09:26:17 2013 No.4788448 >>4776726 I feel you. That's annoying as fuck. don't trust roommates (or their friends) not to use your cooking shit. I keep my good knives in a box under my bed for this very reason.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 10 09:44:17 2013 No.4788480 >>4788408 I never thought I did until this.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 10 09:45:17 2013 No.4788483 >>4780732 I live in california and I can cook fine, but I largely learned fro my mother who learned from the black woman who did the cooking and cleaning when she was a kid, so maybe I just cook like black from the south do.

Anonymous Tue Sep 10 09:51:19 2013 No.4788497

>>4788395
Oh fuck me, i just remembered an experience similar

>Decide to cook eggs
>Always use Pam (this was before i used oil or butter)
>Cook it relatively normal
>Eggs are kind of brown
>Bite into them
>Tastes like i swallowed a spoonfull of pam
>Throw that shit out

I mean i used a NORMAL AMOUNT like i always do, maybe i cooked it too wrong, maybe i did something wrong, in any case god damn it was awful.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 10 09:56:37 2013 No.4788510 >>4784078 stay jelly press one button wait, can't be beaten

Anonymous Tue Sep 10 10:00:35 2013 No.4788517

>>4781241
If these humans in question were to eat more than the muscle of the animal, but also all the organ meats, brains, bones, etc, they would be able to happily subsist.

Muscle tissue doesn't have very much nutrients in it.

There's thousands of years of evidence of nomadic and semi-nomadic pastoral farmers subsisting on a diet predicated entirely or nearly so upon the meat and dairy of their animals. In times of leanness, there would be even more dependence upon dairy products.

Definitely Not Sceak Tue Sep 10 10:27:07 2013 No.4788588 [DELETED]

>>4773399

I was thinking about the belgian endive salad with walnuts my ex-boyfriend once made, but he refused to give me any.

I think he only cooked for me once, when I was really dopesick. He made me a cheese sandwich or something. I can still see and taste it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 10 10:31:08 2013 No.4788594 >>4788588

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 10 16:32:03 2013 No.4789340 bump because moar

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 10 16:43:04 2013 No.4789363 >>4788517 Nearly so, isn't entirely so. No one is predicted to have had an obligately carnivorous diet. While plants were only a small portion of their diets, it was still a portion.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 10 17:29:05 2013 No.4789465 >>4775401 Fuck you.

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/ck/ - Food & Cooking