Food Gadget Thread

[Anonymous No.6357150]

Food gadget thread

What's worth buying, what's worth avoiding? Pic related, highly recommend one.

[Anonymous No.6357158]

These help a lot. I've tried the plastic ones, but I find the metal ones last a lot longer when you're stirring boiling water.

[Anonymous No.6357161]

>>6357158
You don't use a wooden spoon when stirring boiling water?

[Anonymous No.6357162]

Get the biggest spatula you can. The small ones don't have much effect when you're trying to swat your children away from the stove.

[Anonymous No.6357164]

>>6357161
I don't want splinters.

[Anonymous No.6357168]

>>6357164
Wut

[Anonymous No.6357169]

Whistlecubes like these are great for making music, but they can also be used to ensure that all of your spaghetti is straight.

[Anonymous No.6357174]

You're not a real cook if you don't own a rolling baton. You can flatten even the thickest steak with this. Or, use it to mash potatoes like you would with a baseball bat.

[Anonymous No.6357179]

Basters help when you need to squirt your dog with boiling water, but you don't want to handle the water with your bare hands.

Important note: You can't administer insulin with this.

[Anonymous No.6357183]

Wusthof is a great brand if you want a reliable serial killer knife. You can also slice bread with it, but I've never needed to.

[Anonymous No.6357185]

>>6357179
They also help with getting chicks pregnant

[Anonymous No.6357191]

Cheesecloth is a must-have for if you can't reach your toilet or sink fast enough to defecate.

[Anonymous No.6357201]

While medieval torture devices come in many shapes and sizes, you want one that has a sturdy grip and a high-quality point at one end.

Remember: Clockwise for kills, counterclockwise for thrills.

[Anonymous No.6357210]

You can find a slab of wood in many homes. These are great for covering up unsightly stains or pitting in your wood floors. Be sure to get the correct color!

Or, if you're feeling ambitious, you can use it to sweep dirt into your kitchen dustpan.

[Anonymous No.6357217]

Assassin's knives are a lot like serial killer knives, except lighter and easier to conceal. I haven't found a brand I like yet.

[Anonymous No.6357221]

Food megaphones can let you hear even the quietest foods.

[Anonymous No.6357230]

Normally you wouldn't be able to eat soup while lying on your side, would you?

Now you can.

[Anonymous No.6357244]

Most kitchen utensils aren't very useful when attempting to achieve a prostate orgasm. The citrus & butt reamer is designed exactly for this purpose. Remember to wash well before using it on your citrus.

[Anonymous No.6357254]

>>6357221
That reminds me of this dough honking thread.

[Anonymous No.6357257]

Fingerslicers often come with superfluous accessories, but you don't need them to slice your fingers to the bone.

I used to use knives to slice my fingers, but I found that once I'd sliced them enough, I couldn't hold the knives any longer. The fingerslicer is an elegant solution.

[Anonymous No.6357267]

Expert spoons may take some getting used to, but once you learn to handle them all at once, you'll never go back. Try them on soup, salad, or anything that you'd use a standard spoon for.

[Anonymous No.6357274]

The mezzaluna is great for any child's "Pit and the Pendulum" diorama.

[Anonymous No.6357288]

Chinese baseball equipment isn't a necessity, but it sure makes things easier. The tiny bat and helmet can be used to grind almost any kind of spice.

[Anonymous No.6357292]

>>6357257
A friend once told me that if you wear two latex gloves, the finger slicer wouldn't operate properly and slice fingers. He was wrong. Very wrong.

[Anonymous No.6357297]

Debilitation mitts are the ideal way to conceal your lost digits... or not! They come in many styles, and they're a great conversation starter.

You can also hang them up to ward away evil kitchen spirits.

[Anonymous No.6357310]

Picture this: You've kept the pot of water on the stove for too long, and now you smell smoke. Indeed, there's a fire about to consume your entire kitchen, and now it's spread to the door frame. You're trapped!

But wait! Thankfully you had the foresight to buy a safety reflector. You can use this to reflect the sun into someone's eye to get their attention, and they can call the fire department for help.

[Anonymous No.6357322]

Dali shears help cut even the most crooked meats.

[Anonymous No.6357328]

Roller dockers are very effective at simulating a giant tarantula skittering up your neck.

[Anonymous No.6357331]

epin bread

[Anonymous No.6357332]

And last but not least (at least from me) is my scale, the Ozeri Pro Digital Kitchen Food Scale.

This scale is unique in that it makes everything you put on it weightless. Don't step on it, though, or you'll float away.

[Anonymous No.6357380]

I've actually never laughed this hard at a thread in quite a long time.
Thank you OP.

[Anonymous No.6357382]

I'm laughing like a fucking retard, thanks OP.

10/10

[Anonymous No.6357385]

>>6357185
underrated post

[Anonymous No.6357390]

A bread making necessity.

[Anonymous No.6357421]

>>6357185
bahahaha

[Anonymous No.6357423]

I don't even browse /ck/ but I thought I'd check it out and this was the first thread I saw

10/10 I peed a little

[Anonymous No.6357487]

Holy fuck someone screencap

[Anonymous No.6357503]

>>6357164
if you use a metal spoon though it will get very hot very quickly in boiling water

[Anonymous No.6357512]

>>6357150

totally useless garlic press

[Anonymous No.6357514]

>>6357150
Good collection OP think I'll go through some of my kitchen essentials.

Squirrel spears are a must to train your rodent army to protect the kitchen from outsiders. Also useful for holding tricky bits of food in place.

[Anonymous No.6357518]

The superior handle allows for maximal perpendicularosity whilst the two tone effect can be used to dazzle your enemy in a battle.

[Anonymous No.6357519]

>>6357162
kek

[Anonymous No.6357520]

>>6357503
if the recipe calls for metal spoons, just tie them into a bundle with this and leave a short length so you can take it out of the boiling liquid without burning yourself

plus, you just take the bundle and toss it in the trash when you're done

[Anonymous No.6357523]

The testicle loom is a great way to maintain a constant threat of castration, display it proudly to proclaim your dominance in all thing kitchen.

[Anonymous No.6357529]

Oscillating food macerators are particularly useful for breaking through those stubborn mussel shells so you can consume the ones that didn't open up.

[Anonymous No.6357549]

>>6357150

the Old Bay coin box is a great place to keep change to tip the grocery delivery bou

[Anonymous No.6357678]

>>6357185
holy fuck i remember that news article.

[Anonymous No.6357688]

>>6357523
That is all I can think of when I see that thing in the drawer

"Hmmm, one of my balls would fit perfectly in there"

[Anonymous No.6357721]

>>6357169
Whistlecubes, holyshit that's funny!

[Anonymous No.6357789]

>>6357169
i thought those were called sponge ruiners

[Anonymous No.6358285]

>>6357221
lol

[Anonymous No.6358298]

>>6357382
Holding in laughs at work - look like a retard having a stroke.

[Anonymous No.6358396]

I'm going to develop breathing problems from all this fucking laughing.

[Anonymous No.6358410]

Because "What's worst than cold food ?"
The butt-warmer is in my opinion a must have for anyone who wants to experience fine dining.
Its pretty easy to use, just turn it on and sit on it, it will able you to keep the food warm at every stage of digestion.
I only have electrical ones because I couldn't find a technician able to set 6 gas pipes in my dining room for a decent price, but I find them really satisfying.
Try to invest into durable ones, I heard terrible incidents happenned with made in china butt-warmer.

[Anonymous No.6358422]

thread of the decade so far?

[Anonymous No.6358803]

>>6357221
fucking hell

[Anonymous No.6358806]

>>6357328
God damnit OP

[Anonymous No.6359170]

>this thread

[Anonymous No.6359184]

>>6357257
I'm waiting for the day someone gets forced to use this who owes money to a crime boss, in place of removing a finger with a cigar cutter.

[Anonymous No.6359208]

>>6357230

Finally, a spoon I can use in bed!

[Anonymous No.6359235]

You want to mix your drink but you feel guilty using stir sticks and damaging the environment. They sell reusable stir sticks now in all sorts of materials.

[Anonymous No.6359239]

ITT: OP thinks he writes for The Onion.

[Anonymous No.6359323]

>>6357390

[Anonymous No.6359764]

Lashley pls.

[Anonymous No.6359993]

>>6359208
not only that, mr. hutt, but we'll bring solo and the wookie so they can pay for this outrage

[Anonymous No.6360021]

>>6357179
Aren't they also called Canadian squirt guns?

[Anonymous No.6360056]

Good thread OP, you should be proud.

[Anonymous No.6360072]

>>6357254

please tell me there is a screencap

[Anonymous No.6360184]

go home you liartown wannabe

[Anonymous No.6361367]

>>6360184
Holy shit they're wasting their photoshop production values.

[Anonymous No.6363270]

If you don't want to use cheap plastic forks you can use a budget metal fork.
They are just as good as the premium ones but quality control kicked them out because they had not enough prongs or are too long.
If meat is in short supply you can also use them to spear hunt roaches.

[Anonymous No.6363274]

Recommended by the board of home security. I accidently stabed my girlfriend 15 times in the back with it last week and she didn't even get a punctured kidney.
Warning: Plan for a bit of extra preparation time if you cut large meats like vienna sausages.

[Anonymous No.6363911]

>>6357549
underrated post

[Anonymous No.6364012]

>>6360072
>>/ck/thread/S6203565

[Anonymous No.6364374]

Good thread, 9/10 would read again.

[Anonymous No.6364388]

>>6357789
Mitch ;)

[Anonymous No.6364498]

This guy. It costs next to nothing too.

[Anonymous No.6364524]

>>6364498
crushing with the side of a knife works just as well and doesn't create another thing to clean.

[Anonymous No.6364544]

>>6364524
>clean
you mean shake it over a trash can?