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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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8719066 No.8719066 [Reply] [Original]

>muh crumb

Eat shit, crumbfags. My bread tasted delicious.

>> No.8719076

>i'm a shit baker
>g-good bread s-sucks!

>> No.8719078

>>8719066
What the fuck are you on about?

>> No.8719160

>>8719078

I went onto a bread forum and posted the bread I made. Everyone was like

>let's see muh crumbshot

So I pisted this picture and they said

>muh crumb muh crumb

A bunch of homos

>> No.8719169

>>8719160
Your crumb is lacking.

>> No.8719174

So what's the secret to getting that really airy bread with all the holes in it anyway?

>> No.8719184

>those large uneven splotches of air

fucking pig disgusting op won't even feed to pigs

GIT GOOD

>> No.8719192

>>8719174
>he wants his bread to be full of holes
for what purpose

>> No.8719196

>>8719192

More nooks for spreads
bigger loaf

>> No.8719240

>>8719066
You can have a poor crumb and still have a good taste. Crumb is about texture and tenderness, not about taste.

Your bread is probably fine, but it could be better if you made an effort to improve the crumb. If you don't care that's cool, especially if you're just going to eat it yourself. If you're happy with it, it's good enough. But you shouldn't be surprised that people who care about baking bread point that out when you post it online.


And if you really think the texture of your food doesn't matter, just enjoy your bread in silence and stop posting it online, because you obviously don't know shit about anything.

>> No.8719241

>>8719196

>spread mayo on bread
>oozes through holes and makes a mess

Yeah, real great bread, crumbfag

>> No.8719243
File: 116 KB, 366x378, inception.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8719243

>>8719241
>spread mayo on bread
>mayo
>on bread

>> No.8719247

>>8719243

Never had a club sandwich retard?

>> No.8719248
File: 1.08 MB, 300x332, LittleGirl.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8719248

>>8719243
>not using mayo for your sandwiches

>> No.8719250

>>8719243
Moisture barrier + flavor for sandwiches

>> No.8719252

>>8719243
Do you not eat sandwiches?

>> No.8719255

>>8719250
>Moisture barrier + flavor for sandwiches

That's what butter is for.

>> No.8719256

>>8719248
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubV3t9_CwDc

>> No.8719262

>>8719255
Or mayo

>> No.8719266

>>8719256
DUDE WHITE PEOPLE LMAO

>> No.8719269

>>8719256
Shieeeetttt

>> No.8719270

>>8719256

>LOL WYPIPO LOVE MAYONNAISE

>>>/r/eddit

Cuck

>> No.8719271

>>8719262
No. That is not what mayo is for. At all. Nor should you use mustard, ketchup, salsa, guacamole or gravy.

>> No.8719277

>>8719252
>>8719255
>>8719250
>>8719248

you people disgust me

>on a board for food
>profess to have a good palate
>cant even eat a sandwich without smothering it in mayo or butter

no better than ketchup on a hotdog, fucking trash

>> No.8719279

>>8719271
Dohohohohohoho you're so funny and clever

>> No.8719284

>>8719277
>smothering it in mayo or butter
A thin layer is all you need

>> No.8719292

>>8719277
Enjoy your dry-ass sandwiches then, you fuck

>> No.8719300

>>8719279
What's funny about it? Mayo is not butter and they are not interchangeable. Stop using condiments inappropriately.

>> No.8719308

>>8719277
>smothering it

I like how you fat people always assume nobody else has any sense of self-control or moderation either.

>> No.8719313

>>8719300
You're right, it's not the same as butter. For sandwiches, it's just plain better.

>> No.8719321

>>8719313
>better

No.

>> No.8719341

>>8719321
Yes.

>> No.8719351

>>8719308

>fat person excuse

mayo is shit on sandwiches, get some fucking taste

>>8719292

if your sandwich is dry you're fucking doing it wrong.

>> No.8719375

>>8719351
>if your sandwich is dry you're fucking doing it wrong.

Should I soak my bread in water first or do you have a different method?

>> No.8719392

>>8719375

us better ingredients, don't make shitty dry sandwiches, put a fucking tomato in it or something. anything but mayo.

>> No.8719431

>>8719392
>likes food
>doesn't like mayonnaise

choose one, faggot

>> No.8719438

slow down nigger think about what you are doing

>went to a bread forum to attention whore your bread
>its called shit by bread enthusiasts
>go to another forum filled with bread enthusiasts say how much the first bread enthusiasts were wrong
>get called a retard and you have shit bread again

I'm waiting for the thread on /b/ at this point

>> No.8719474

>>8719392
> oh god i hate lemon juice, olive oil, and egg yolks emulsified together

it's food you mong

>> No.8719515

>>8719392
>AHHHHH OIL AND EGGS AHHHHHH IM AUTISTIC AM I FITTING IN YET

nice

>> No.8719681

>>8719256
This triggers the white boy

>> No.8720024
File: 2.82 MB, 3024x4032, IMG_20170221_223328.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8720024

Check muh crumbs

>> No.8720064

>>8719174
There are many techniques but I prefer to use this guy's. It has never once failed me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgz0oAhgwyg

>> No.8720137

>>8720024
looks a bit dense, but otherwise pretty good.

>> No.8720213

>>8720064
Is he Bob Burger? Video is pretty interesting.

>> No.8720271

>>8719474

>olive oil

it's always olive oil with you pretentious bastards.

>> No.8720276

>>8720064

>tfw he overcooks his bread

>> No.8720460

>>8719243
T. Uncultured american

>> No.8720820
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8720820

>>8719066

>> No.8720879

>>8719277
Explain with proper argumentation why ketchup on hotdog is bad.

>> No.8721149

>>8720276
you overcooked in your mom's womb

>> No.8721180

>>8721149
and you must have been half baked

>> No.8721213

>>8720879
not the guy you replied to, but about a year ago I started doing mustard + celery salt on my hotdogs and haven't looked back since.

>> No.8721230

>>8720460
Literally the only people who use mayo are Americans lol. I use Normandy butter and so should you

>> No.8721239 [DELETED] 

>>8721230
Why? Normandy butter isn't as good as Irish butter, inb4 edgelords going durr durr it's mainstream so it's bad.

>> No.8721242

>>8721239
I live in normandy, so it's beautifully fresh

>> No.8721283

>>8719160
>bread forum

Link?

>> No.8721301

>>8721230
In the netherlands and belgium mayo is the go to sandwich spread

>> No.8721449

>>8719066
Work on preparing a proper dough! Bread is not supposed to resemble Swiss cheese! If you have holes in your bread, you have not done it properly! I say this as a German who takes more pride from our bread than from our cars, if this is possible.

>> No.8721509

>>8719271
>no mayo on sandwiches
okay, guess you don't like mayo, whatever

>no mustard
fuck you you retard piece of shit

>> No.8721580

>>8721509
stupid faggot the only thing a sandwich should be is 1 (one) thin slice of ultra-high grade meat, enough lettuce for 1 (one) layer, and two very thick slices of homemade artisan bread. Anything else anf your a retarded faggot obese ameretard.

>> No.8721594
File: 1.90 MB, 360x176, 1406082706495.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8721594

>>8719271
>>8721509
>mfw i put mayo AND mustard on my sandwiches

>> No.8721605
File: 54 KB, 500x500, meme.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8721605

New meme 2017
>MUH CRUMB

>> No.8721634

>>8721230
American mayo isn't made out of eggs, they can't legally call it mayonnaise hence the abbreviation.

>> No.8721680

>>8721594
mayo and honey mustard on a turkey sandwich is pretty fucking fantastic

>> No.8721700
File: 1.19 MB, 2560x1440, 20170323_103714.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8721700

>>8721634
>dur mommy im being retarded on the internet again, do you love me yet?

>> No.8721705

>>8719256
>tfw white and unironically love this movie

>> No.8721715

>>8721700
>posting the top end example and pretending it is the norm

Good job, ameretard.

>> No.8721725

>>8721715
>Hellmann's is top shelf mayo

Eurotards, everyone.

>> No.8721737

>>8721580
are you basing yourself on something that is not just your opinion or are you just being severely autistic right now

>> No.8721748

>>8721737
Your autistic if you dont agree ameridumb

>> No.8721759

>>8719277
>he doesn't put mayo on his hotdogs

>> No.8722014
File: 3.72 MB, 347x244, putin laugh.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8722014

>>8721149
>>8721180

>> No.8722056

>>8721634
What? Are you retarded?

It's spelled out on every jar I've ever seen, and always has eggs.

Do Europeans really have spoopy wives' tales about America?

O B S E S S E D

>> No.8722064

>>8721580
>Carb loading and trays of cheesy cholesterol make me healfy

K.

>> No.8722092

>>8722064
I said nothing about cheese fucking retard gay amerifaggot.

Im too evolved to eat cheese anyway, so your triple gaytarded.

>> No.8722106
File: 121 KB, 250x418, 1490034679267.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8722106

>>8719243

>> No.8722154
File: 23 KB, 226x187, C5F98DF6-8263-48B0-9BD4-85623C3DD4EB-7527-0000092AF3F3DD52_tmp.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8722154

>>8719250
>moisture barrier
>mayo
What are you talking about? Lettuce is clearly the best moisture barrier as opposed to something that's semisolid and wet

Also mustard is GOAT

>> No.8722282

>>8721715
Texan here. I've never seen Mayo that isn't made from eggs. I don't even fucking know what else they'd make it out of.

>> No.8722286

>>8722154
Mayo is oil, lettuce is water. You are literally retarded

>> No.8722313

>>8722286
Mayo is oil, meat is water

>hurr fucking durr

Thanks for pointing out that most life on Earth is in fact water.

>> No.8722324

>>8722313
How do you plan on making a moisture barrier out of water

>> No.8722335

>>8722324
>wut is an emulsion

Do you speculate on how milk fat stays suspended within the milk too?

>> No.8722669

>>8722282
>>8722056
He's probably talking about miracle whip, which isn't mayo

>> No.8722781

>>8719392

Le epic post bro xD

>> No.8723051

>>8719160
pretty big bubbles shitlord.

>> No.8723122

>>8720879

it's not, it's just plebshit and the least quality condiment. even bakes beans from a can makes for a better tasting wiener. mayo on a sandwich is the same shit, the only sandwich mayo belongs on is a salisbury steak sandwich.

>> No.8723231

>>8719174
high hydration and long enough proofing

>> No.8723236

>>8719277
>getting this buttblasted over a thin layer of mayonnaise
You're not dipping your sandwich in it like a sauce
You're probably the same type of person that goes and pats a pizza down with a napkin thinking about all the "fat and grease" they managed to avoid.

>> No.8723993

>>8723231
You don't necessarily need high hydration.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxfbiGto4R8

>> No.8724034

>all these mayo fags

>not knowing the joys of mustard

Fags all of yah

>> No.8725490

>>8719256
I never realized white people liking mayo was a thing. I'm white and always hated mayo. Come to think of it, I really like fried chicken and watermelon, though...

>> No.8725738

>>8719174
>Sticky dough
>Soft flour
>Don't overknead
>Ferment for at least 48 hours

>> No.8725958

>>8725490

Octoroon detected.

>> No.8725980

>>8719256
>hot sauce and mayo is unironically best combo for sandwich

ebony and ivory

>> No.8725997

>>8720064
Bet he fists mean ass

>> No.8726029

>>8720064
Needs a hairnet for his arms.

>> No.8726037

>>8719266
Nigger

>> No.8726161

>>8725997
That's kind of what it sounds like when he's doing the initial lifting.

>> No.8726598

>>8725997
He can fist my ass
>>8726029
The hair adds character and will make the fisting feel better