Food Porn Thread

[Anonymous No.9574573]

>webm's prefered

[Anonymous No.9574589]

>>9574573
>porn
>opens thread with gore

[Anonymous No.9574590]

>>9574573
>runny egg on burger

[Anonymous No.9574629]

>>9574590
>faggots on my /ck/

[Anonymous No.9574632]

Get the fuck out with your runny eggs in general, but ESPECIALLY when they wreck a decent burger.

[Anonymous No.9574637]

>>9574629
Fake post

[Anonymous No.9574642]

[Anonymous No.9574679]

>>9574573
I'm down with egg on burger but they shouldn't be runny. Ingredients should not interfere with the mechanics.

[Anonymous No.9574700]

Get those disgusting nails away from my food. Nothing is as unappetizing or unattractive as long nails. Absolutely fucking horrid.

[Anonymous No.9574703]

>>9574700
long nails can be nice but not press ons, unless you're going for crack whore chic

[Anonymous No.9574717]

>>9574590
Runny eggs on burgers are great, but you have to break the yolk and spread it around or on the bun before you start eating it. You can't just leave it whole.

This burger/sandwich in the OP looks bad though. Too messy and tall, it's going to be annoying and uncomfortable to eat.

[Anonymous No.9574727]

>>9574632
>implying that is a decent burger in the op

[Anonymous No.9574746]

>>9574573
FUCK THAT

[Anonymous No.9574749]

>>9574700
>Nothing is as unappetizing or unattractive as long nails. Absolutely fucking horrid.

Fucking racist.

[Anonymous No.9574750]

[Anonymous No.9574769]

[Anonymous No.9574902]

>>9574727
My bad dude I'm phoneposting and my shit won't play webms. I was speaking generally, but had faith the webm one was okay before getting slathered by yolk.

[Anonymous No.9574933]

>>9574902
>having faith in Reddit and Facebook cooking videos
It is 99% bacon, 61% sriracha, 20% cuckhold, 15% grease and 5% salt all adding up to a 200% disappointment.

[Anonymous No.9574950]

>>9574902
it's a png not a webm my friend

[Anonymous No.9574960]

>>9574573
Runny eggs are a bigger meme than Sriracha and bacon combined.

[Anonymous No.9574962]

>>9574769
wtf is that from?

[Anonymous No.9574964]

>>9574769
It comes to something when that, of all things, isn't the worst post in the thread.

[Anonymous No.9574998]

>>9574962
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J47pL_BW8TQ end of video

[Anonymous No.9575021]

>>9574750
look at that delicious cake just oozing life...

[Anonymous No.9575069]

[Anonymous No.9575075]

[Anonymous No.9575081]

You've seen Ja/ck/, but have you seen his wife?

[Anonymous No.9575122]

When i see this i just see perfection!

[Anonymous No.9575181]

>>9575081
S O U R C E

[Anonymous No.9575208]

>>9575075

[Anonymous No.9575212]

>>9575208
love rare chicken

[Anonymous No.9575220]

>>9575208
>cranberry sauce filled chicken breast

Ja/ck/ is a visionary.

[Anonymous No.9575222]

>>9575212
chef Scalfani doesn't just offer rare chicken, he caters to red meat lovers too!

[Anonymous No.9575225]

>>9575222

[Anonymous No.9575226]

>>9574998
>nice and pink, the way I like it
I bet he tells that to tammy

[Anonymous No.9575228]

>>9575225

[Anonymous No.9575230]

>>9575225

[Anonymous No.9575238]

>>9575208
I only eat my chicken medium rare

[Anonymous No.9575243]

>>9575075

[Anonymous No.9575247]

>>9575230
Its even better in slow motion

[Anonymous No.9575248]

>>9574769

[Anonymous No.9575268]

>>9575238

[Anonymous No.9575295]

>>9575248
I've never seen this but it is fucking hilarious. Good shit to whoever made that hahaha

[Anonymous No.9575298]

>>9574573

[Anonymous No.9575301]

Stop posting jack you fucking homos

[Anonymous No.9575305]

>>9575069
OVA HERE

[Anonymous No.9575311]

That menu really escalates towards the end

[Anonymous No.9575334]

>>9575248
That menu really escalates towards the end

[Anonymous No.9575367]

>>9575075
JUST

[Anonymous No.9575406]

>>9574573
THIS IS NOW WEBM THREAD.
>inb4 pizza vending machine
>inb4 automation frozen pizza
>inb4 cadaver slicer
>inb4 pancake making on coke
>inb4 omurice egg slicing
>inb4 chinaman pancakes
>inb4 corn hair roller
>inb4 cream funnel on cakes
>inb4 churros ice cup
>inb4 chocolate globe petals
>inb4 melting chocolate globe
>inb4 avocado burger
>inb4 bees on cake vendor
>inb4 turkish ice cream trickery
>inb4 avocado burger
>inb4 green avo macaroni
>inb4 fried shrimp cannon
>inb4 dancing squid trick
>inb4 kay's motor oil egg
>inb4 cheeseburger cocktail
>inb4 carved ice whiskey ball
>inb4 dumpling mouth vacuum
>inb4 pastry baking in oven
>inb4 fake avocado egg
>inb4 pizza with plastic forks&knife fag
>inb4 ugly glazed cake

[Anonymous No.9575409]

>>9575075
>that hand gesture

[Anonymous No.9575420]

>>9575081
OH MY GOD KATHYY

Here's the thing though. Kathy's not a good cook, and she says she's not a good cook in her videos. She's just having a good time making things how she makes them.

She makes fuck ups constantly. She makes more shit than Jack. But she doesn't have the pretentious attitude that he does, so it's really just good laughs with bad food. But, with good people.

Kathy is comfy af

[Anonymous No.9575433]

[Anonymous No.9575441]

>>9575433
>darksideofthemoon.jpg

[Anonymous No.9575442]

>>9575406
too slow nigga

[Anonymous No.9575459]

>>9574769

its beyond me how jack scalfani hasn't died yet from salmonella or food poisoning.

I think he gains powers from it.

[Anonymous No.9575469]

>>9575075
WHY DOES HE USE THAT STUPID PAPER SHIT FOR THE BURGERS.

[Anonymous No.9575554]

>>9575442
Really puts the cheese in cheeseburger.

[Anonymous No.9575689]

>>9575420
Linke me

[Anonymous No.9575693]

>>9575469
He's testing a copper grill mat and, brilliantly, neglects to heat it up with the grill, instead slapping it on cold and wondering why he can't get grill marks.

He also pours the egg on a slanted surface so there you go.

[Anonymous No.9575777]

[Anonymous No.9575835]

>>9575777
Very keto

[Anonymous No.9575897]

>>9575835

[Anonymous No.9575912]

>>9575301
noice

[Anonymous No.9575917]

>>9575897
>cutting down the center

[Anonymous No.9575958]

is jack being this terrible on purpose??? im starting to wonder because at one point you have to ask yourself if all the constant mockery is worth it.

[Anonymous No.9575968]

>>9575958
Most of the shows are unremarkable mostly, maybe a few snickers at Jack's idiocy, but I believe he has a large community of divorced men watching and interacting with his videos without irony.

[Anonymous No.9575967]

>>9575958
He's rich and mistakes attention for praise

[Anonymous No.9575996]

>>9574573
That's disgusting.

[Anonymous No.9576511]

>>9575075
not jack

[Anonymous No.9576512]

>>9575554
you mean 'on'

[Anonymous No.9576828]

>>9575298

that looks like a fucking pain in the ass to eat

[Anonymous No.9576874]

>>9575301
what the fuck

[Anonymous No.9576886]

>>9574717
I agree with you but I have to admit it's kind of fun biting into a sandwich and having the egg yolk suddenly break and squirt a few feet

[Anonymous No.9576932]

>>9576511
Look at the ring, it's him, Jack, the DSP of cooking.

[Anonymous No.9576948]

>>9575298
How to remove the pit from the avocado? Smash a knife in it? Too dangerous for me.

[Anonymous No.9576958]

>>9575442
Would I eat it? Heck yeah. There is never enough cheese on a burger.

[Anonymous No.9576976]

>>9575334
>this soy-yeast extract gelatin really tastes like the real deal!

[chop No.9576978]

>>9576511
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdE8yh0d1_0

[Anonymous No.9576993]

>>9575897
chef john

[Anonymous No.9577001]

>>9575298
>d00d healthy fats lmao

[Anonymous No.9577306]

>>9575996
Thats fucking amazing

[Anonymous No.9577660]

>>9575442
Looks delicious but I'm autistic and I hate getting my hands messy

[Anonymous No.9577831]

>>9575248
Why do americans think ‘entree’ means main course?

[Anonymous No.9577853]

[Anonymous No.9577866]

>>9577306
What's with that shitty knife? It looks so fucking flimsy I thought it'd break

[Anonymous No.9577891]

>>9577831
because we have orders of magnitude more money and influence than whatever irrelevant third world shithole you live in, and we'll do whatever the fuck we want with language, and you'll fucking deal with it.

[Anonymous No.9577971]

>>9575122
TAKE THIS TRASH TO THE BIN AND BRING ME A REAL PLATE

[Anonymous No.9578004]

>>9577853
that looks good

[Anonymous No.9578166]

>>9575298
It's as if he WANTS a case of 'avacado hand'.

[Anonymous No.9578174]

>>9575225
>>9575228
>>9575230
HOW IS HIS BITE A PERFECT 90 DEGREE ANGLE

[Anonymous No.9578229]

>>9574573
*BLEEEGGG*
*HHHUUUUAAAARRH*
*dry heaves*
*AAAAAAOOOHHHHHH*
>"Ok, I think I'm done vomiting, alrig-"
*BBBLLLLLAAAAGUGUGUUGUGUGG*
>dribbles mucus and snot*
>"please, my stomach hurts, I can't retch like that again"
>looks at the disgusting food stinking in front of him
*BBBUUUUGGGGGGGUUUAAAAHHHHH*
>tfw the torrent of vomit in front of him still looks more appealing that the horrendous mess meant to be this ''''''''food''''''''.

[Anonymous No.9578249]

>>9577891
not trying to be mean but...
"we"
the average us citizen isn't really rich. there's many places in the world which are much better to live in every single point.

[Anonymous No.9578643]

>>9574573
*BLEEEGGG*
*HHHUUUUAAAARRH*
*dry heaves*
*AAAAAAOOOHHHHHH*
>"Ok, I think I'm done vomiting, alrig-"
*BBBLLLLLAAAAGUGUGUUGUGUGG*
>dribbles mucus and snot*
>"please, my stomach hurts, I can't retch like that again"
>looks at the disgusting food stinking in front of him
*BBBUUUUGGGGGGGUUUAAAAHHHHH*
>tfw the torrent of vomit in front of him still looks more appealing that the horrendous mess meant to be this ''''''''food''''''''.

[Anonymous No.9578662]

>>9575459
>I think he gains powers from it.
This is literally true. Pajeets that bathe in the ganges next to a rotting corpse have the same super power

[Anonymous No.9578677]

>>9575075
why cant average Americans cook?

[Anonymous No.9578690]

>>9576948
>>9578166
>Plebs can't remove their avocado pits without getting lacerations.
Get on my level.

[Anonymous No.9578707]

>>9574573
>Webm's preferred
>Posts a fucking png.
Could've even manage a gif?

[Anonymous No.9578727]

>>9575248
>YOOOOHOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HO...HOODEEDOODEEDOOOO
>The alarm wakes me up. I wipe the sleep out of my eyes
>The sweet purr of Tammy's C-PAP machine is comforting, it beckons me back to sleep
>No, I must wake up, today is the day
>I better check on Jack Jr...
>Jack's not in his room...it suddenly hits me that he spent the night at one of his football friends' house
>I've been worrying lately, he's been hanging out with colored folk, they might try to peer pressure him into trying the devil's lettuce
>I'm worrying about nothing, I've raised Jack to be a good man. Never to hit a woman!
>Shower and shave, using my trusty kit from Harry's Razors
>I decide to wear a shirt quoting 1 Corinthians 13:4-0, Jesus will respect my dedication
>Mosey through my hall of hats, decide on a classic little number featuring the character Dedpole, he's a popular guy among the kids
>I must prepare for the chili cook off, this is my calling. I gave up DJ'ing for this.

[Anonymous No.9578732]

>>9577866
welcome to ja/ck/ friend

[Anonymous No.9578757]

post the panda candy webbum

[Anonymous No.9578781]

>>9574573
Start the thread with a webm you idiot

[Anonymous No.9578859]

>>9575996

This is amazing, damn

[Anonymous No.9578878]

>>9578727
>Not 1 Corinthians 11:3

[Anonymous No.9578886]

>>9577866
It's a stupid piece of shit called an "aero knife"

[Anonymous No.9578912]

>>9575996

Now that's fuckin' skill.

[Anonymous No.9578963]

>>9575248
>napalm the palestinians race war now

subtle yet elegant

[Anonymous No.9579121]

>>9577306
the cheese might be sharper that that shit knife

[Anonymous No.9579294]

>>9577660
I'm right there with you, Anon.
I Love chicken wings and crab legs but hate using my hands.
Be strong.

[Anonymous No.9579333]

>>9575777
oh my fuck. never has a video given me such a vivid idea of how terrible a recipe is gonna be. I can almost already taste it.
that horrible thick layer of ground beef is gonna be straight up glued to your mouth by that equally thick layer of shitty mozzarella. those absolutely pointless bell peppers are not gonna get blackened and crisp like decent roasted peppers, but are gonna just sit, half raw in a giant puddle of grease from the bacon and mozz. the soy sauce is gonna make the outside layer of bacon inedibly salty, while the inside remains a horrible chewy bland mess. it's like poetry, how clear and specific the imagery is in this video. I can see the messy bangs of the pixie cut, dyed off-white, on the sweaty forehead of the mildly overweight female chef, cultivating her online presence with these terrible gif recipes. what is this even supposed to be? it's completely directionless food. most gif recipes are either just regular recipes, or have some basic dish they're expanding on in an extreme or trendy way, like Cheeto cookies. this recipe doesn't draw from any established food tradition/culture on Earth, except maybe "epic meal time", except on epic meal time it's presented as a joke - there's a sense of spectacle around it. this video presents this epic meal time recipe as a normal thing, no spectacle, just an aggressive, mainstream normalization of straight up trailer trash obesity.

[Anonymous No.9579375]

>>9575075
Is this Jack guy actually serious? Or is he just doing satire?

[Anonymous No.9579434]

>>9577831
It's from late 19th century haute cuisine. French (or English) service was buffet style and had a roast of sorts that was presented partway through the meal in a sort of showy reveal of sorts, so it had an "entrance," or entree in French. "Entree" itself has a bit of an imprecise definition but as it made its way down to lower class americans it firmed up as the main part of a meal, because lower class american meals were (at their fanciest) basically appetizers, a main course, and a dessert, which didn't have a proper place for what the french would call an entree so they took the anglicanized interpretation of entree as the showiest part of the meal, which would have been the main dish you ordered

[Anonymous No.9579440]

>>9577306
At some point you have to stop laughing and ask yourself why? why does he do it?

[Anonymous No.9579443]

>>9579375
I think he plays it up for the camera because it's his gimmick but at the same time he's also legitimately incompetent. It's odd.

[Anonymous No.9579450]

>>9578781
What an appropriately named webm, I think the fact that the hands look old as shit make it even sadder.

[Anonymous No.9579458]

[Anonymous No.9579461]

>>9579450
He's an actor/comedian, they're joke videos. He's actually pretty funny in them sometimes. When he's putting the flour on the outside of the grilled cheese, he says that's what everyone did before TV made us stupid or something like that.

[Anonymous No.9579463]

>>9579450
That guy is old but he's a huge fuckin troll and all his cooking videos are ironic

this is the guy. just watch this shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gUKZpgVfMo

[Anonymous No.9579467]

>>9574573
>Let's have everything in a burger and make a mess of tastes and textures

[Anonymous No.9579472]

>>9574769
that is one dull fucken knife

[Anonymous No.9579494]

>>9579458
Isnt that the stuff that tastes like hot garbage?

[Anonymous No.9579502]

>>9575208
>>9575220

The Ocean Spray™ Breast is a delicacy

[Anonymous No.9579529]

>>9579121
kek

[Anonymous No.9579586]

>>9575208

[Anonymous No.9580114]

>>9578781
>>9579450
do not talk shit about tom, tom is based and /ourguy/

[chop No.9580123]

>>9580114
>ancap Tom buying stocks
>not BTC

[Anonymous No.9580153]

>>9579586
audible kek

[Anonymous No.9580187]

>>9580114
just did a small search on some of his videos. He looks like the senior version of howtobasic or something like that.

[Anonymous No.9580210]

>>9575075

The yolk escaped into a fiery pit.

[Anonymous No.9580309]

>>9579458
>mostshamefulfapever.tar.gz

[Anonymous No.9580329]

>>9579375
Most of the time 4chan's grating autism gets to me when they obsessively nitpick something like the poor steak seasoning dude who only wanted to toss seasoning in style.

However as far as Jack is concerned they can have at the dude. He's an absolute pig to the point of having to take down one video due to the danger of somebody getting killed if they followed his directions. Even the Krabby Patty kid had a legit disability. Jack has zero excuses.

By the way, anybody save a copy of that video? That was true fucking horror.

[Anonymous No.9580583]

>>9578727

[Anonymous No.9580607]

>>9576993
from food wishes dot com

[Anonymous No.9580623]

[Anonymous No.9580645]

>>9579333

[Anonymous No.9580654]

>>9580623
>all those aids carrying mosquitoes get put into one easy to consume disk

No wonder it's such a problem over there

[Anonymous No.9580688]

>>9575301
This would be a cool topper to a carrot cake.

[Anonymous No.9580692]

>>9580623

[Anonymous No.9580737]

>>9579333
Yeah you just know that shit is gonna be vile because there's no talk of flavoring that beef, at all. It's just going to be a big fucking mouthful of unflavored beef and salt.

[Anonymous No.9580904]

>>9575996
Now that's efficiency

[Anonymous No.9580976]

>>9574573
>porn
Here's a lion eating porn

[Anonymous No.9580986]

>>9580623
these aren't mosquitos. they're a kind of fly. if they were mosquitos then they would be getting bit up.

[Anonymous No.9580998]

>>9574573

[Anonymous No.9581012]

>>9580623
Those are midges. Amazing that they occur in such swarms to make them a good protein source for people.

[Anonymous No.9581015]

>>9575301
triggered

[Anonymous No.9581028]

>>9577306
I do this.. With those rectangular brick cheeses you can cut a couple inches off the end, through the plastic, use the couple inches if cheese for your cheese things then use the plastic you cut to cover the end of the remainder of the brick. It seals about as well as any cling wrap; generally better since wrap doesn't stick to the plastic at all.

[Anonymous No.9581061]

>>9580583
>jack tardrages over fast food
https://youtu.be/NpB7NoedVAM

[Anonymous No.9581108]

>>9575958
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I've passed YouTube internet marketing classes, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Aunt Myrna's recipe drawer, and out of ALL of my viewers, I've racked up less than 300 confirmed kills from salmonella poisoning. I am trained in the Lazy Man culinary arts and I’m the top YouTuber to appear on West Texas Investor's Club. You are nothing to me but just another troll. I will choke you the fuck out with fury the likes of which has never been seen before on God's Green Earth, mark my fucking words. There won't be any principal to come stop me before your nose starts bleeding, hater. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of entrepreneurs and business owners in the Tennessee area and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that chokes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bison burger. Not only am I extensively trained in gimmicky kitchen utensils, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Made for TV line of avocado peelers and fruit choppers, and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. This is going to be the Six Day War sevenfold. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have stuck out your fucking tongue when you ate lunch today. But you've never taken a big boy bite in your fucking life; instead you decided to write some gay little comment, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit The Best Barbecue Sauce You've Ever Tasted all over you and you will drown in it.

[Anonymous No.9581493]

>>9575433

[Anonymous No.9581551]

>>9574769
J O O C Y

[Anonymous No.9581559]

[Anonymous No.9581574]

>>9581559
>dislocate your jaw to eat that
no thanks

[Anonymous No.9581584]

>>9575996
Now that's what I call music

[Anonymous No.9581641]

>>9575298

[Anonymous No.9581803]

>>9575996
is that a guy on the right

[Anonymous No.9581821]

>>9580998
please be real

[Anonymous No.9581926]

>>9581559
2greasy4me

[Anonymous No.9581936]

>>9574573
>uncooked eggs

manprojectilevomitingspamandyogurtwithgreenpeas.webm

[Anonymous No.9581948]

>>9574632
Look at this guys terrible taste.

[Anonymous No.9581999]

>>9574632
Anybody who doesn't enjoy a runny yolk has the palate of a child.

[Anonymous No.9582692]

>>9575897
So, why is it on the plate already if it needs to finish cooking?

[Anonymous No.9583250]

>>9580329

>steak seasoning
>otherwise known as salt

[Anonymous No.9583289]

>>9574573
adding a fried egg to anything is a meme

is frying an egg but keeping the yolk runny some kind of mark of culinary prowess? "here' this dish I made, and also a fried egg on top for whatever reason"

it's just stupid

[Anonymous No.9583307]

>>9574769
no, seriously. give me his fucking address.
he cant go on like this.

[chop No.9583317]

>>9583307
There's a PO box address on his website. I guess you could start there.
https://thebestsauces.ecwid.com/

[Anonymous No.9583333]

>>9579494
No? Ive made a similar recipe and it isnt as good as regular cheesecake, but still damn good

[Anonymous No.9583647]

>>9578781
reminds me of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULqCof5rNZ4

[Anonymous No.9583659]

>>9583289
have you tried actually tasting a burger with a runny yolk on it? There are surely cleaner and more efficient ways of delivering it but simply laying the whole egg on top has undeniable visual appeal and again, flavor wise it's certainly not just a meme.

[Anonymous No.9583677]

>>9575442
cheese was supposed to go on the fries

[Anonymous No.9584734]

>>9583250
Wow... Really?

[Anonymous No.9584826]

>>9574769

I hate Jack and all he stands for in cooking

[Anonymous No.9584998]

>>9575406
yeah im gonna need all those to be posted. Or else someones getting cucked by an avocado