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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 853 KB, 740x742, foodporn.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
9574573 No.9574573 [Reply] [Original]

>webm's prefered

>> No.9574589
File: 70 KB, 540x622, 1507087585644.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>opens thread with gore

>> No.9574590
File: 10 KB, 418x352, images (63).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>runny egg on burger

>> No.9574629
File: 58 KB, 510x450, CDC2A3EE-E7C0-46C1-96E1-DD89257CDAF1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>faggots on my /ck/

>> No.9574632
File: 64 KB, 612x612, IMG_0268.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Get the fuck out with your runny eggs in general, but ESPECIALLY when they wreck a decent burger.

>> No.9574637
File: 18 KB, 261x193, IMG_0007.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Fake post

>> No.9574642
File: 33 KB, 280x373, IMG_0768.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.9574679

I'm down with egg on burger but they shouldn't be runny. Ingredients should not interfere with the mechanics.

>> No.9574700

Get those disgusting nails away from my food. Nothing is as unappetizing or unattractive as long nails. Absolutely fucking horrid.

>> No.9574703

long nails can be nice but not press ons, unless you're going for crack whore chic

>> No.9574717

Runny eggs on burgers are great, but you have to break the yolk and spread it around or on the bun before you start eating it. You can't just leave it whole.

This burger/sandwich in the OP looks bad though. Too messy and tall, it's going to be annoying and uncomfortable to eat.

>> No.9574727

>implying that is a decent burger in the op

>> No.9574746


>> No.9574749

>Nothing is as unappetizing or unattractive as long nails. Absolutely fucking horrid.

Fucking racist.

>> No.9574750
File: 78 KB, 640x468, 92C5A1CD5D8B4D658FDE975F08B44D3F.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.9574769
File: 2.47 MB, 640x360, burger.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.9574902

My bad dude I'm phoneposting and my shit won't play webms. I was speaking generally, but had faith the webm one was okay before getting slathered by yolk.

>> No.9574933

>having faith in Reddit and Facebook cooking videos
It is 99% bacon, 61% sriracha, 20% cuckhold, 15% grease and 5% salt all adding up to a 200% disappointment.

>> No.9574950

it's a png not a webm my friend

>> No.9574960

Runny eggs are a bigger meme than Sriracha and bacon combined.

>> No.9574962

wtf is that from?

>> No.9574964

It comes to something when that, of all things, isn't the worst post in the thread.

>> No.9574998

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J47pL_BW8TQ end of video

>> No.9575021

look at that delicious cake just oozing life...

>> No.9575069
File: 1.73 MB, 1280x720, gabagool.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.9575075
File: 977 KB, 1280x720, JackEgg.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.9575081
File: 2.91 MB, 500x280, Meatballs.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You've seen Ja/ck/, but have you seen his wife?

>> No.9575122
File: 112 KB, 666x477, 1507500035093.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

When i see this i just see perfection!

>> No.9575181


>> No.9575208
File: 2.09 MB, 1280x720, Chicken.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9575212

love rare chicken

>> No.9575220

>cranberry sauce filled chicken breast

Ja/ck/ is a visionary.

>> No.9575222
File: 2.05 MB, 1280x720, Rare burgers.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

chef Scalfani doesn't just offer rare chicken, he caters to red meat lovers too!

>> No.9575225
File: 7 KB, 299x168, jackedup.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9575226

>nice and pink, the way I like it
I bet he tells that to tammy

>> No.9575228
File: 2.84 MB, 1280x720, Cookie bite.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9575230
File: 2.57 MB, 1280x720, the moment you realize your cooking is terrible.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9575238
File: 150 KB, 899x653, z. jack.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I only eat my chicken medium rare

>> No.9575243
File: 1.25 MB, 1280x720, Jack egg mess.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9575247
File: 758 KB, 900x900, 1491925499667.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Its even better in slow motion

>> No.9575248
File: 141 KB, 666x1101, 099023440_123.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9575268
File: 105 KB, 1280x720, 1494623736414.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9575295

I've never seen this but it is fucking hilarious. Good shit to whoever made that hahaha

>> No.9575298
File: 1.14 MB, 400x400, Avocado Sandwich.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9575301
File: 2.68 MB, 400x230, Carrot.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Stop posting jack you fucking homos

>> No.9575305


>> No.9575311 [DELETED] 
File: 2.08 MB, 796x720, Vegan Boiled Egg On Avocado Toast.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

That menu really escalates towards the end

>> No.9575334
File: 2.08 MB, 796x720, Vegan Boiled Egg On Avocado Toast.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

That menu really escalates towards the end

>> No.9575367


>> No.9575406
File: 13 KB, 384x384, images (62).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>inb4 pizza vending machine
>inb4 automation frozen pizza
>inb4 cadaver slicer
>inb4 pancake making on coke
>inb4 omurice egg slicing
>inb4 chinaman pancakes
>inb4 corn hair roller
>inb4 cream funnel on cakes
>inb4 churros ice cup
>inb4 chocolate globe petals
>inb4 melting chocolate globe
>inb4 avocado burger
>inb4 bees on cake vendor
>inb4 turkish ice cream trickery
>inb4 avocado burger
>inb4 green avo macaroni
>inb4 fried shrimp cannon
>inb4 dancing squid trick
>inb4 kay's motor oil egg
>inb4 cheeseburger cocktail
>inb4 carved ice whiskey ball
>inb4 dumpling mouth vacuum
>inb4 pastry baking in oven
>inb4 fake avocado egg
>inb4 pizza with plastic forks&knife fag
>inb4 ugly glazed cake

>> No.9575409

>that hand gesture

>> No.9575420


Here's the thing though. Kathy's not a good cook, and she says she's not a good cook in her videos. She's just having a good time making things how she makes them.

She makes fuck ups constantly. She makes more shit than Jack. But she doesn't have the pretentious attitude that he does, so it's really just good laughs with bad food. But, with good people.

Kathy is comfy af

>> No.9575433
File: 206 KB, 1280x960, 1466109752887.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.9575441


>> No.9575442
File: 1.96 MB, 400x400, Absurdly Cheesy Burger.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

too slow nigga

>> No.9575459


its beyond me how jack scalfani hasn't died yet from salmonella or food poisoning.

I think he gains powers from it.

>> No.9575469


>> No.9575554

Really puts the cheese in cheeseburger.

>> No.9575689

Linke me

>> No.9575693

He's testing a copper grill mat and, brilliantly, neglects to heat it up with the grill, instead slapping it on cold and wondering why he can't get grill marks.

He also pours the egg on a slanted surface so there you go.

>> No.9575777
File: 2.94 MB, 426x426, Bacon Cheeseburger.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.9575835

Very keto

>> No.9575897
File: 2.26 MB, 1280x720, Steak.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9575912


>> No.9575917

>cutting down the center

>> No.9575958

is jack being this terrible on purpose??? im starting to wonder because at one point you have to ask yourself if all the constant mockery is worth it.

>> No.9575967

He's rich and mistakes attention for praise

>> No.9575968

Most of the shows are unremarkable mostly, maybe a few snickers at Jack's idiocy, but I believe he has a large community of divorced men watching and interacting with his videos without irony.

>> No.9575996
File: 1.54 MB, 640x360, 1501051872023.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

That's disgusting.

>> No.9576511

not jack

>> No.9576512

you mean 'on'

>> No.9576828


that looks like a fucking pain in the ass to eat

>> No.9576874

what the fuck

>> No.9576886

I agree with you but I have to admit it's kind of fun biting into a sandwich and having the egg yolk suddenly break and squirt a few feet

>> No.9576932

Look at the ring, it's him, Jack, the DSP of cooking.

>> No.9576948

How to remove the pit from the avocado? Smash a knife in it? Too dangerous for me.

>> No.9576958

Would I eat it? Heck yeah. There is never enough cheese on a burger.

>> No.9576976

>this soy-yeast extract gelatin really tastes like the real deal!

>> No.9576978


>> No.9576993

chef john

>> No.9577001

>d00d healthy fats lmao

>> No.9577306
File: 2.66 MB, 1920x1080, how to cut cheese (jack).webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Thats fucking amazing

>> No.9577660

Looks delicious but I'm autistic and I hate getting my hands messy

>> No.9577831

Why do americans think ‘entree’ means main course?

>> No.9577853
File: 392 KB, 1279x680, 4d298b61a21ee028eecaa91ae86daf15.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.9577866

What's with that shitty knife? It looks so fucking flimsy I thought it'd break

>> No.9577891

because we have orders of magnitude more money and influence than whatever irrelevant third world shithole you live in, and we'll do whatever the fuck we want with language, and you'll fucking deal with it.

>> No.9577971


>> No.9578004

that looks good

>> No.9578166

It's as if he WANTS a case of 'avacado hand'.

>> No.9578174


>> No.9578229 [DELETED] 

*dry heaves*
>"Ok, I think I'm done vomiting, alrig-"
>dribbles mucus and snot*
>"please, my stomach hurts, I can't retch like that again"
>looks at the disgusting food stinking in front of him
>tfw the torrent of vomit in front of him still looks more appealing that the horrendous mess meant to be this ''''''''food''''''''.

>> No.9578249

not trying to be mean but...
the average us citizen isn't really rich. there's many places in the world which are much better to live in every single point.

>> No.9578643

*dry heaves*
>"Ok, I think I'm done vomiting, alrig-"
>dribbles mucus and snot*
>"please, my stomach hurts, I can't retch like that again"
>looks at the disgusting food stinking in front of him
>tfw the torrent of vomit in front of him still looks more appealing that the horrendous mess meant to be this ''''''''food''''''''.

>> No.9578662

>I think he gains powers from it.
This is literally true. Pajeets that bathe in the ganges next to a rotting corpse have the same super power

>> No.9578677

why cant average Americans cook?

>> No.9578690

>Plebs can't remove their avocado pits without getting lacerations.
Get on my level.

>> No.9578707

>Webm's preferred
>Posts a fucking png.
Could've even manage a gif?

>> No.9578727

>The alarm wakes me up. I wipe the sleep out of my eyes
>The sweet purr of Tammy's C-PAP machine is comforting, it beckons me back to sleep
>No, I must wake up, today is the day
>I better check on Jack Jr...
>Jack's not in his room...it suddenly hits me that he spent the night at one of his football friends' house
>I've been worrying lately, he's been hanging out with colored folk, they might try to peer pressure him into trying the devil's lettuce
>I'm worrying about nothing, I've raised Jack to be a good man. Never to hit a woman!
>Shower and shave, using my trusty kit from Harry's Razors
>I decide to wear a shirt quoting 1 Corinthians 13:4-0, Jesus will respect my dedication
>Mosey through my hall of hats, decide on a classic little number featuring the character Dedpole, he's a popular guy among the kids
>I must prepare for the chili cook off, this is my calling. I gave up DJ'ing for this.

>> No.9578732

welcome to ja/ck/ friend

>> No.9578757

post the panda candy webbum

>> No.9578781
File: 2.79 MB, 426x240, Sad.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Start the thread with a webm you idiot

>> No.9578859


This is amazing, damn

>> No.9578878

>Not 1 Corinthians 11:3

>> No.9578886

It's a stupid piece of shit called an "aero knife"

>> No.9578912


Now that's fuckin' skill.

>> No.9578963

>napalm the palestinians race war now

subtle yet elegant

>> No.9579121

the cheese might be sharper that that shit knife

>> No.9579294

I'm right there with you, Anon.
I Love chicken wings and crab legs but hate using my hands.
Be strong.

>> No.9579333

oh my fuck. never has a video given me such a vivid idea of how terrible a recipe is gonna be. I can almost already taste it.
that horrible thick layer of ground beef is gonna be straight up glued to your mouth by that equally thick layer of shitty mozzarella. those absolutely pointless bell peppers are not gonna get blackened and crisp like decent roasted peppers, but are gonna just sit, half raw in a giant puddle of grease from the bacon and mozz. the soy sauce is gonna make the outside layer of bacon inedibly salty, while the inside remains a horrible chewy bland mess. it's like poetry, how clear and specific the imagery is in this video. I can see the messy bangs of the pixie cut, dyed off-white, on the sweaty forehead of the mildly overweight female chef, cultivating her online presence with these terrible gif recipes. what is this even supposed to be? it's completely directionless food. most gif recipes are either just regular recipes, or have some basic dish they're expanding on in an extreme or trendy way, like Cheeto cookies. this recipe doesn't draw from any established food tradition/culture on Earth, except maybe "epic meal time", except on epic meal time it's presented as a joke - there's a sense of spectacle around it. this video presents this epic meal time recipe as a normal thing, no spectacle, just an aggressive, mainstream normalization of straight up trailer trash obesity.

>> No.9579375

Is this Jack guy actually serious? Or is he just doing satire?

>> No.9579434

It's from late 19th century haute cuisine. French (or English) service was buffet style and had a roast of sorts that was presented partway through the meal in a sort of showy reveal of sorts, so it had an "entrance," or entree in French. "Entree" itself has a bit of an imprecise definition but as it made its way down to lower class americans it firmed up as the main part of a meal, because lower class american meals were (at their fanciest) basically appetizers, a main course, and a dessert, which didn't have a proper place for what the french would call an entree so they took the anglicanized interpretation of entree as the showiest part of the meal, which would have been the main dish you ordered

>> No.9579440
File: 60 KB, 661x720, 1494622058257.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

At some point you have to stop laughing and ask yourself why? why does he do it?

>> No.9579443

I think he plays it up for the camera because it's his gimmick but at the same time he's also legitimately incompetent. It's odd.

>> No.9579450
File: 38 KB, 657x527, 1491350649411.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

What an appropriately named webm, I think the fact that the hands look old as shit make it even sadder.

>> No.9579458
File: 774 KB, 640x640, THICK.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.9579461

He's an actor/comedian, they're joke videos. He's actually pretty funny in them sometimes. When he's putting the flour on the outside of the grilled cheese, he says that's what everyone did before TV made us stupid or something like that.

>> No.9579463

That guy is old but he's a huge fuckin troll and all his cooking videos are ironic

this is the guy. just watch this shit.


>> No.9579467

>Let's have everything in a burger and make a mess of tastes and textures

>> No.9579472

that is one dull fucken knife

>> No.9579494

Isnt that the stuff that tastes like hot garbage?

>> No.9579502


The Ocean Spray™ Breast is a delicacy

>> No.9579529


>> No.9579586
File: 193 KB, 500x396, its fucking raw.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9580114
File: 2.41 MB, 2000x2177, tom compass.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

do not talk shit about tom, tom is based and /ourguy/

>> No.9580123

>ancap Tom buying stocks
>not BTC

>> No.9580153

audible kek

>> No.9580187

just did a small search on some of his videos. He looks like the senior version of howtobasic or something like that.

>> No.9580210


The yolk escaped into a fiery pit.

>> No.9580309
File: 18 KB, 480x360, Robbie_Rotten.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9580329

Most of the time 4chan's grating autism gets to me when they obsessively nitpick something like the poor steak seasoning dude who only wanted to toss seasoning in style.

However as far as Jack is concerned they can have at the dude. He's an absolute pig to the point of having to take down one video due to the danger of somebody getting killed if they followed his directions. Even the Krabby Patty kid had a legit disability. Jack has zero excuses.

By the way, anybody save a copy of that video? That was true fucking horror.

>> No.9580583
File: 213 KB, 981x901, the lazy mans coronary.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9580607

from food wishes dot com

>> No.9580623
File: 2.81 MB, 800x450, mosquitoburgers.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.9580645
File: 1.69 MB, 250x250, 1478214435257.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9580654

>all those aids carrying mosquitoes get put into one easy to consume disk

No wonder it's such a problem over there

>> No.9580688

This would be a cool topper to a carrot cake.

>> No.9580692
File: 44 KB, 540x720, 20729672_1494319813924545_306671313927528000_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9580737

Yeah you just know that shit is gonna be vile because there's no talk of flavoring that beef, at all. It's just going to be a big fucking mouthful of unflavored beef and salt.

>> No.9580904

Now that's efficiency

>> No.9580976
File: 1.07 MB, 480x360, 1508495759147.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Here's a lion eating porn

>> No.9580986

these aren't mosquitos. they're a kind of fly. if they were mosquitos then they would be getting bit up.

>> No.9580998
File: 1.49 MB, 320x320, 1500972030947.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9581012

Those are midges. Amazing that they occur in such swarms to make them a good protein source for people.

>> No.9581015


>> No.9581028

I do this.. With those rectangular brick cheeses you can cut a couple inches off the end, through the plastic, use the couple inches if cheese for your cheese things then use the plastic you cut to cover the end of the remainder of the brick. It seals about as well as any cling wrap; generally better since wrap doesn't stick to the plastic at all.

>> No.9581061

>jack tardrages over fast food

>> No.9581108

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I've passed YouTube internet marketing classes, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Aunt Myrna's recipe drawer, and out of ALL of my viewers, I've racked up less than 300 confirmed kills from salmonella poisoning. I am trained in the Lazy Man culinary arts and I’m the top YouTuber to appear on West Texas Investor's Club. You are nothing to me but just another troll. I will choke you the fuck out with fury the likes of which has never been seen before on God's Green Earth, mark my fucking words. There won't be any principal to come stop me before your nose starts bleeding, hater. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of entrepreneurs and business owners in the Tennessee area and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that chokes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bison burger. Not only am I extensively trained in gimmicky kitchen utensils, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Made for TV line of avocado peelers and fruit choppers, and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. This is going to be the Six Day War sevenfold. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have stuck out your fucking tongue when you ate lunch today. But you've never taken a big boy bite in your fucking life; instead you decided to write some gay little comment, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit The Best Barbecue Sauce You've Ever Tasted all over you and you will drown in it.

>> No.9581493
File: 59 KB, 600x459, The-Nasty-Patty.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9581551


>> No.9581559
File: 2.93 MB, 600x338, deliciousexcess.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.9581574

>dislocate your jaw to eat that
no thanks

>> No.9581584

Now that's what I call music

>> No.9581641
File: 101 KB, 1071x882, 1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9581803
File: 442 KB, 1080x652, picard.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

is that a guy on the right

>> No.9581821

please be real

>> No.9581926


>> No.9581936

>uncooked eggs


>> No.9581948
File: 52 KB, 576x472, Scoob.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Look at this guys terrible taste.

>> No.9581999

Anybody who doesn't enjoy a runny yolk has the palate of a child.

>> No.9582692

So, why is it on the plate already if it needs to finish cooking?

>> No.9583250
File: 66 KB, 499x422, RNM.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>steak seasoning
>otherwise known as salt

>> No.9583289

adding a fried egg to anything is a meme

is frying an egg but keeping the yolk runny some kind of mark of culinary prowess? "here' this dish I made, and also a fried egg on top for whatever reason"

it's just stupid

>> No.9583307

no, seriously. give me his fucking address.
he cant go on like this.

>> No.9583317

There's a PO box address on his website. I guess you could start there.

>> No.9583333

No? Ive made a similar recipe and it isnt as good as regular cheesecake, but still damn good

>> No.9583647

reminds me of this

>> No.9583659

have you tried actually tasting a burger with a runny yolk on it? There are surely cleaner and more efficient ways of delivering it but simply laying the whole egg on top has undeniable visual appeal and again, flavor wise it's certainly not just a meme.

>> No.9583677

cheese was supposed to go on the fries

>> No.9584734

Wow... Really?

>> No.9584826


I hate Jack and all he stands for in cooking

>> No.9584998
File: 1.24 MB, 3024x2326, oh fug.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

yeah im gonna need all those to be posted. Or else someones getting cucked by an avocado

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