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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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9657008 No.9657008 [Reply] [Original]

>lobster harvested from water 1 degree too warm
>wine made from grapes on vine 25 feet outside of Bordeaux region border
>pork chop cooked 2.5 seconds longer on top side than bottom
>salt from a container instead of hand-crushed rocks

>> No.9657018

>No sauce.

>> No.9657026

>and the butter? is it churned in house?
>no chef, we buy it daily at the farmers market.

>> No.9657044

>this fork yeah? did you forge these yourself?
>yes chef
>and the iron forming the steel of the fork, did you dig it out of the riverbed yourself?
>no chef

>> No.9657073

As much as I appreciate his culinary skills, he overreacts far too much for the cameras.
The food they serve may not be fit for his establishment, but I guarantee it's not "spit it out on my spoon" bad.

>> No.9657081

I love this shit every time though. Somehow it never gets old.

>> No.9657090


>> No.9657091

>"The scallops, were they fresh?"
>yes chef
>"They were born this morning?"
>no chef
>"So they're not fresh. Fuck me..."

>> No.9657094

>and the ice?
Yes chef
>Is it frozen?
Yes chef
>Fuck me...

>> No.9657106
File: 74 KB, 811x971, stu2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>that episode where berated the owners for not making fresh mozzarella daily
Why? What fucking restaurant does that?

>> No.9657279

Idk about daily but it's not hard weekly for a high end place.

>> No.9657295

how expensive would it be to eat at a place that did literally everything themselves, like farmed everything

>> No.9657490


>what's that smell? is this parmesan fresh?
>we get it from a reputable cheesemaker in to-
>there is an aging pro-
>...twelve months chef
>fuck me

>> No.9657493


>> No.9657507

As fuck because they would have to somehow farm tons of different things from different climates in the same area. Which would most likely mean they would need some sort of artificial climate generating greenhouse or some shit.

>> No.9657521

Or traditional endemic cuisines and preservation methods coupled with a seasonal menu.

Like how food has worked for most of history....

>> No.9657528

>some sort of artificial climate generating greenhouse

You mean a greenhouse? Yeah, we have those.

>> No.9657535

>Is the salt from evaporated seawater?
>Yes Chef
>Why are we not reacting elemental sodium with chlorine gas in house?
>We looked into it and the reaction vessels and chemist salary aren't within our budg...
>Fuck me, bloody hell

>> No.9657548

>do you serve this to customers?
>the cabbage chef?
>taste that!
>i like it chef
>we're a korean restaurant chef

>> No.9657551

Theres an incredible birria place in Ensenda, mexico that kills their cow, goats and sheep on the daily and there's an old lady making tortillas right in front of you and she says she makes the flour herself with wheat from her own land.
Also, a selection of orange, mango, or my favorite, cantaloupe juice made every couple hours with fruit from local farms.

Tacos were 25 pesos each when I was there (lil over a dollar at the time) and a bowl of it as soup was 60.

Ive had dreams about this place desu. I wake up crying sometimes.

>> No.9657552


>> No.9657555

that isn't what the show is like whatsoever. he gets served awful garbage. why even characterize him a way thats not even remotely accurate

>> No.9657557

>ye chef
>y-ye chef

>> No.9657571
File: 95 KB, 273x288, 1346310587318.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Are you new?

>> No.9657574


>> No.9657593

>"did you come up with these digits yourself?"
>yes chef
>"did you calculate the exact time at which to post yor reply in order to get them?"
>n-no chef

>> No.9657599

>how old is this mozzarella?
>we made it fresh 6 days ago, chef
>Yes, che-
>Six days?

>> No.9657604

Normal greenhouses aren't able to replicate all produce growth climates you fucking idiot.
The post I was responding to didn't specify if the cuisine would be endemic.
It said "a place that did literally everything themselves".

>> No.9657608

>cantaloupe juice made every couple hours
>2 hours? Fuck me!

>> No.9657609

Lol ya got me chef

>> No.9657614

anon you're a retard

>> No.9657617
File: 10 KB, 250x200, download-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>"are there chicken stock pots in this?"
>No chef we make stock in house every day

>> No.9657643

>"is the plastic of the container house-made?"
>yes chef
>"is the oil extracted from the local area?"
>n-no chef
>"Bloody hell...."

>> No.9657651

It saddens me that the stuff he thinks tastes like shit would probably be more than gourmet for me.

>> No.9657658

>T. Tastelet

>> No.9657661


>> No.9657664

He goes to failing restaurants in kitchen nightmares. Let me ask you something child, why do you think a restaurant would be failing, typically?

Don't think too hard now, wouldn't want you hurting yourself booboo :* <3

>> No.9657666

Because I'm poor and just eat rice and beans everyday. And they taste like shit because I'm a bad cook.

>> No.9657669

What's it called?

>> No.9657674

fair enough

>> No.9657678

Yeah I know, but I'd still rather eat that stuff than the nothing I don't get to some days.

>> No.9657684

>You will never save this anon

>> No.9657686

This is how you make good rice and beans.

>Mince two cloves of garlic for every cup of rice
>Quarter onion for every cup
Fry onion, fry garlic after, not long
>Add water and teaspoon of salt per cup of rice, double water to rice ratio
>Lower heat when water boils
>Remove from heat imeddiately when water is evaporated

For the beans

>Two cloves garlic for every can of beans, teaspoon of chopped onion
>Mash beans in can before cooking
>Fry garlic and onion, allow garlic to burn slightly
>Teaspoon and a half of salt per can
>Quarter can of water
>Boil for ten to fifteen minutes

Voila. Delicious Brazilian style rice and beans. Eat it almost daily, and never stop loving it.

>> No.9657698

Why are you even here

>> No.9657707

>this plate, did you kiln bake, and glaze it yourself?
>y-yes chef
>was the clay extracted and processed from the front garden?
>no chef, traveled to taiw-

>> No.9657708

Because despite someone being poor and in a bad place, they might also enjoy food, you retard.

>> No.9657715

That sounds good, anon. I'll have to try it when my NEETbux come in next.

>> No.9657734

obviously not the same guy but
>that's already how i make beans and rice, except i don't use canned beans and instead prepare them myself

i came here to shitpost but maybe i belong after all?

>> No.9657747

I have to go. That sounds incredible.

>> No.9657748

>Don't think too hard now, wouldn't want you hurting yourself booboo :* <3
I bet literally nobody you know likes you even a little bit.

>> No.9657781


this meme's got legs, baby!

>> No.9657783

Feijoada is the next level of deliciousness with rice and beans, but it takes an unreasonable amount of time to make if you don't own a pressure pot

>> No.9657787
File: 61 KB, 550x384, keeter-center-dining.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The College of the Ozarks actually has a restaurant where they do a lot of their stuff in-house, but I don't think all. The price is actually really good.

>> No.9657788
File: 69 KB, 450x600, When+everything+is+just+right_697cb2_6141514.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>When the hurt hits the butt just right

>> No.9657804

>and the steaks are fresh yeah?
>chef we work with local farms to ensure that we have the top cuts available. Once selected the meat is dry aged on premises for 40 days...
>hold on hold on. The steak you served me is over a month old?

>> No.9657812

Y r u being so rude

>> No.9657823

>w-well chef, the cows are slaughtered when they reach 18 months of ag-
>One-and-a-half years?

>> No.9657828
File: 17 KB, 460x276, Ramsay.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>finally get something simple, rustic, and cooked by someone clearly in possession of the plot

>> No.9657887

>can afford internet to post
>can't buy decent food
>too "poor"

>> No.9657892

Actually my landlords supply a free shitty internet plan if you lease for a year.

>> No.9657899

Can't you just harvest the soul of one of your subordinates every now and then, or one of the billions of others?

>> No.9657900

it definitely is.
you can clearly see the food is often not up to health standards and normal people obviously don't like it if the business is failing so dramatically.

Maybe not every pizza is as bad as he says but you would not actually want to eat at most of the places featured on the show.

>> No.9657935

plz don't bully Satan.

>> No.9657938

>chef is this fish fresh?
>y-y-yes chef ramsey i caught it barehanded this morning?
>this morning? fuck me thats older than my gran no wonder it tastes like shit

>> No.9657960
File: 294 KB, 800x454, IMG_0689.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Actually, feeding lobster to inmates more than once a day was considered cruel and unusual punishment in the olden days.

>> No.9657973


Epcott at Disney does this.

>> No.9657998
File: 57 KB, 322x368, IMG_0273.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>The jokes? Were they well received?
>Yes chef!
>And were they written by you?
>No chef my team of writ-

>> No.9658056

Think about it, they didn't get butter or anything to season it. I'm sure it wasn't that good.

>> No.9658082

not very
less than dinner from a michelin star restaurant

>> No.9658094
File: 29 KB, 500x375, 1509909694386.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

> the huckleberries, are they fresh?
> yes chef, and if they're too tart we dust them with confectioners pow-

>> No.9658106

Only one fucking 't' in EPCOT, dumbshit.

>> No.9658124

>is this radish fresh?
>yes chef
>did you create the big bang?
>no chef
>Fuck me

>> No.9658129

What type of beans? Black beans? They taste pretty good on their own. Kidney beans are kinda shit tho.

>> No.9658133

It's canned tomato beans my brother in law gave me. I only spend money on the rice.

>> No.9658135

>tomato beans
baked beans in tomato sauce? Or is this some foriegn meme bean?

>> No.9658138

>baked beans in tomato sauce
Yeah that. Sorry.

>> No.9658141
File: 143 KB, 700x544, IMG_0276.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Did you create life?
>Yes chef!
>How long did it take?
>7 days

>> No.9658166

>watch first season of UK kitchen nightmares
>insightful business development hints
>cheap marketing ideas
>smaller, simpler menus that fit the chef's level of skill and ability
>limited tough love, applied mostly to clueless owners
>respect for anyone who's actually competent

>watch last season of US kitchen nightmares

>> No.9658430

Do less drugs, eat better food

>> No.9658440

He acts like every single thing has to be ordered, prepped, and cooked the day of service. I can guarantee that isn't what happens in his restaurants.

>> No.9658660

Most of the time these restaurants are charging obscene prices for food that is average at best. It's less about the quality of the food in a vacuum, but more in the context of the menu's pricing and the restaurant's claims of freshness/locality.

>> No.9658701

You clearly don't pay very close attention to his shows.

He certainly does that for fine dining restaurants, and he's right--when you're paying that kind of money the food had better be fresh.

But he often does longer lead time prep for this restaurants which aren't super high end. For some reason people tend to miss that difference and lump all his restaurants together. That's fucking absurd. Why would a gastropub have the same standard of quality as a 3-star joint?

>> No.9658836

I've seen him set people up for disaster time after time in service with impossible menus and under trained staff. What does he think the walk in freezer is for if not frozen food? He wants everything fresh even in shitty little restaurants.

>> No.9658848

Some things make perfect sense to freeze, others do not. Make a bunch of stock? That's no problem to freeze without harm. Freezing an entree? That's a whole different story.

Pay more attention. It's not "everything" that has to be fresh, it's the things that matter which have to be "fresh".

>> No.9658873

lmao you're dumb af and have no idea what walk in freezers are for. When a restaurant says fish of the day and uses a fish that's been frozen for a week at the restaurants freezer then it's not fish of the day

>> No.9658877

I understand what you are saying and you are talking about at least a decent restaurant that makes their own stocks and sauces. lets say I own a sports bar/restaurant I'm not making my own mozzarella sticks for the bar. I'm buying in frozen along with a lot of other things.

>> No.9658885

Right, you described the average sportsbar perfectly.

A better sportsbar would bread them in-house in advance and freeze them so they can be fried to order.

>> No.9658890

I'm not dumb I actually am a chef. I'm making a point you fuck head. Nothing wrong with frozen food. I didn't say lie on the menu. Frozen vegetables are perfectly acceptable in most situations for soups, stews, or buffets.

>> No.9658898

If it's a restaurant that specializes in something then probably not very expensive at all.

>> No.9658914


>> No.9658918


>> No.9658927

A tablespoon i would say

>> No.9658953

I think he did do an episode with a place that at least raised their own cattle.
I guess there'd be more startup cost but it should be possible to put together a menu from entirely local ingredients and that means it should be possible to supply it all yourself. I would NOT recommend it to the idiots I see on KN, though.

>> No.9658966

Ramsay has never made a complaint about frozen vegetables you retard. Typical junkie chef that Ramsay would pull in two

>> No.9658987

Eating anything more than once a day. Every day. For years on end. Is pretty bleak. Not torture and they're prisoners so fuck em, but still.

>> No.9659105

Most, if not all will settle for pre-made shit. You're cooking for drunks.

>> No.9659851

The US version is unwatchable. The UK version is great.

>> No.9660102

Fuck me

>> No.9660202

>eating at Gordon Ramsay's restaurant
>abolutely stuffed
>waiter comes over
>"Can I please get a to-go box"
>Ramsay comes barging out of kitchen
>slams his apron down on the floor
>"A to-go box, what is this, a bloody Friday's?"
>"I- I can't finish it and want to eat the rest later chef"
>"Later? It is at the perfect temperature. How do you plan to heat this up again?"
>"I was going to stick it in the mico-"

>> No.9660217

You fucking donkey.

>> No.9660228
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>> No.9660251

Being served lobster back then wasn't like it is now. They would just grind up the entire lobster into a slurry and serve that.

>> No.9660354

I don't care what they say, the man is a three Michelin star chef. You can't knock his abilities.

>> No.9660398

>Stabs napkin with fork
>"Look at this, it's dry. Disgusting."
>Swirls spoon around in his glass
>"So watery and gross."
>Takes out ice cube and pokes it with his fork
>"Frozen. Unbelievable."

>> No.9660416

>b-but chef, we have to wait for the cows to come alive, we can't go 13.8 billion years back in time to harvest the raw, unaltered fresh chemicals and chemically synthesise the meat
>Are you telling me this meat is 13.8 billion years old?!

>> No.9660419

Fuck off, redditor.

>> No.9660461

We'll be making a beautiful. Elegant. Beef wellington.
Keep it nice. Simple. Rustic.
Pan. Hot.
Thinly slice the wellington.
A bit of rosemary. Light. Fragrant.
My god.
You're not a fucking cook.
You donkey.
It's raw.
It's cold.
Fucking hell.
Fuck me.

>> No.9660466
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>> No.9660600

next the chef goes into the walk in freezer

>what is this? cooked chicken?
> ye-yes chef, cooked yesterday and ...
>and this, what is this, raw pork? how old?
> two days chef.
>why isn't the chicken in the same container as the pork?
> i don't unde-

the chef then checks the restaraunt's ovens
> *wipes hand inside oven* it's clean...
> yes, we clean them nightly

>> No.9660619

The way this video was titled, my initial thought was that he was lying about the evolutionary origin of lobsters, and I was really quite intrigued as to exactly how this man believed the modern day lobster came to be

>> No.9660625

wish i knew how to edit videos together.

there was an episode of UK version where he hated everything served except a bread pudding (?). then goes back to the kitchen to find out it was some chick that made it.

> gorden: ... all i enjoyed was the desert, did you make it?
> chick: yes.
> close up of concern gorden's face
>ambulance driving past camera

>> No.9660632


>> No.9660636
File: 12 KB, 500x352, LiyeReS_d.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9660806

>"why is it all liquidy?! Ask the chef, what has he done to it!"

>> No.9660829

fuck off

>> No.9660839

>Here's the menu, chef
>Thanks, darling. How old are you?

>> No.9660851

>then GET OUT

>> No.9660857

watch the british version, it's much more sensible and less hammy

>> No.9660909

>H-Here's your Lion Steak.
>How was it cooked?
>Medium rare, chef.
>Medium rare? IT'S FUCKING ROAR!

>> No.9660986

I don't think that British can cook period.

>> No.9661005

Isn't high British cuisine just "learned to cook from the French?"

>> No.9661009


Two of them did in the british version. But we arent interested in seeing ramsay coaching people looking for a michelin star.

Of course their problems is they are aiming for the star profit be damned

>> No.9661013


>> No.9661016

fuck off chef rammstein

>> No.9661038

British cook food, not periods

>> No.9661040

Yeah yeah you read DFW

>> No.9661055

literal comedic geniuses gracing the good board of /ck/ tonight boys

>> No.9661057

I laughed hysterically at this after reading all the posts itt.

>> No.9661096

Well he's not wrong. That's blatant false advertising so he could charge double for his prices. I don't know what the difference is between the two lobsters but the guy shouldn't do that.

>> No.9661105

I used to live near an Amish place that was almost entirely self-sufficient. $12 for enough food to fill you up thricefold. They even sold bars of handcrafted goat's milk soap. Amish girls are smoking hot too.

>> No.9661118

>Tries to fit his bread plate into his mouth
>"Just look how fucking big this is, can't even get a bite out of it"
>Chews on a piece of the wall
>"Hard as a brick and tastes like one too. Dreadful."

Not to mention:
>Looks at the relaxed fast-casual 50's American diner atmosphere and setting
>"Fucking awful. No class. I would've expected more from a burger place."
>Enters freezer
>"Why is there ice in these trays? There's dozens of the fucking things!"
"We try to make everything in-house chef. Our ice cubes are made from imported water sources."
>"So you keep them in plastic fucking trays? Can't even import ice from a Siberian labor camp? WHERE ARE THE STANDARDS"

>> No.9661125

Six days actually he rested on the 7th day. Fuckin muzzie cunt neck yourself

>> No.9661161

Next time on Hell's Kitchen
> G-Gorden, this is the preteen competition

>> No.9661444

It's insanely easy to do. Any establishment using fresh mozzarella that doesn't make it fresh daily shouldn't call themselves a restaurant. If they won't do that you can be sure they are lazy in other areas too.

>> No.9661477

>What fucking restaurant does that?

Good ones.

>why are you putting this much effort into my food like OH MY GOD just buy from the grocery store like everyone else like what am I even paying you for?!?

>> No.9661513

>this beef, is it fresh or frozen?
>fresh chef
>when was it slaughtered?
>yesterday, chef

>> No.9661539

Maine is right on the border to Canada. Is he complaining that the lobster was caught a few miles North of the coast of Maine? Why would that matter? Same species in the same waters.

>> No.9661571

I think Ramsay mentioned that the Canuck lobsters were half the size of the Maine lobsters, so they are some sort of manlet lobster

>> No.9661589

I think he's full of shit and doesn't know what he's talking about because lobsters off the coast of Maine and Canada are both Homarus Americanus, and the temperature of the waters will be the same. In fact colder water is usually preferred for shellfish which would mean if anything the Canadian lobster would be better.

>> No.9661744

>this door chime, how long has that been there?
>I composed the jingle myself last night chef

>> No.9661826

>and this table, why have you gone and made it looks so old?
>my grandfather survived the holocaust and made it out of the bunk he had in Aushwitz after it was liberated

>> No.9662047

underratedest post in the thread

>> No.9662120

Fucking zoz

>> No.9662136

>Actually reading the book
Please die faggot

>> No.9662175
File: 86 KB, 750x744, IMG_0293.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Walks through a cocaine field
>"And these coke bricks? Are they pure?"
>"Yes chef!"
>Snorts a fat line

>> No.9662184

>how long have you been head chef for
>2 weeks
>how long have you been cooking for?
a month and a half
>you'd like that, faggot, you'd have to buy me lunch first.

>> No.9662221

>this steak is fresh yes?
>well, it's dry aged chef. Its 60 days old

>> No.9662227


>> No.9662391

The absolute state of US kitchen nightmares. Its unwatchable, every episode is the same thing. The UK version is pure kino though.

>> No.9662448

>Being this much of an ignorant shitskin

>> No.9662476

To lick the computer screen at the public library and imagine what food tastes like. I imagine the mouthfeel must be pretty bad

>> No.9662496

Literally just watched the episode of Loves Fish and Chips and I got to say the contrast in the U.K. Version is insane.

I feel that this is a real trend in American TV though how they hype up drama for no reason at all. Reality TV really caters to the lowest common denominator.

>> No.9662512

It's because we love to watch people be demeaned and shamed in our media. That's pretty much the only reason he acts like an asshole in the US version.

>> No.9662527


>> No.9662530



>> No.9662533


TLDR: The Canadian lobster is inferior. That's why Ramsey uses them in ravioli and other pasta dishes.

You can hear him say, "I can't get Maine lobster." He probably means they were not in season and he can't get them right now.

>> No.9662534

Me as well, good sir. Take this upvote for having a vaguely similar reaction to my own. THIS.

>> No.9662548

Like a bisque?

>> No.9662554

Gee an unsourced blog post on a site called "Maine Lobster Now" selling Maine lobsters is sure to be unbiased in this matter.

>> No.9662558

This is different. Restaurants that serve Maine lobster proudly advertise it as Maine lobster, it is kind of a big deal to find out that a restaurant known for its Maine lobster doesn't get that lobster from Maine at all. You can't compare this to the meme.

>did you get your famous "maine lobster" from maine
>no chef


>did you chisel this ice fresh from a glacier yourself
>no chef

>> No.9662584

That's not how bisque is made. Lobster bisque involves making a stock from the shell, then you strain everything but the liquid out, you don't grind the lobster up into a paste you retard.

>> No.9662588

didn't every restaurant in one season of his US show shut down within a month after he left?

>> No.9662591

>being this butt-blasted somebody isn't familiar with the lore of your rpg club

>> No.9662595

>do you even use protection?
>no chef

>> No.9662599
File: 245 KB, 1063x1063, retardo.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>reveres a religion founded by a shitskin kike based on a religion founded by shitkin kikes
>calls others shitskin

>> No.9662605

It's fucking hilarious when that happens and they blame Gordon, it's like The Biggest Losers gaining all the weight back and blaming the trainers.

>> No.9662607

What about blood sausage?

>> No.9662608

Retarded and a fedora tipper

>> No.9662609

>Bisque is a type of soup that's rich and creamy, and traditionally made from pureed shellfish. Authentic recipes ground the shells into a fine paste and use that to thicken the soup.

>> No.9662620

>no source

>> No.9662675


>> No.9662762

Who said I revered it? If you don't even know the most basic of things about the bible then you're either a retard or a shitskin. You being an amerifat would put you in the retard category I guess

>> No.9662774

Loved the thread. Highly amusing and reminded me of /b/ calling Amy’s place after that KN episode.
I watch both versions. The British version to learn things, the US to laugh at bad tv.
Thanks for the laughs /ck/

>> No.9662780

>looks under the table
>looks under the fridge
>checks the grease traps
>checks the lawnmower in the shed out back
>Bloody hell. What is this?
>pokes at dried grass clippings with a spoon
>When's the last time you cleaned this?
>Last summer, chef.
>Fuck me.

>> No.9662804

Jesus was a Jew in the middle east. Judaism was founded by a middle eastern tribe. You think any of this is white?
>le fedors meme
not an argument

Memorizing random trivia from a religious book isn't really on my plate, mate.

>> No.9662826

But it is kinda partially his fault. He comes in and his main goal is to film an entertaining episode, so his team are looking for drama, chicanery, weirdos, etc. The other goal is to make Ramsay look like a savior. So he comes up with what seems to be a great short term solution which suits those goals, but may be a terrible doomed solution in the long term, because it does not take into account the personalities involved and how well they can adapt to a completely new set of rules. If almost every one of his KN restaurants failed within a few months of his makeover, then he should know he is doing something wrong. Or perhaps they were actually unsalvageable, and that's why they were picked.

I think Gordon Ramsay is great, but these are edited shows to present an entertaining story and reinforce the Ramsay brand, and they gloss over a lot of boring stuff that tells the whole story.

>> No.9662859

Got any proof
Because multiple different bible's say different edgelord

>> No.9662875

>A guy born to Jewish parents in a predominantly Jewish part of the world that was also full of nonwhites

>> No.9662902

Oh wow i didn't know romans were jews tell me more retard

>> No.9662908

>Rome politically owns part of the Middle East and has very little involvement with 0 colonization effort
>Everyone there suddenly changes race
You are one dumb mother fucker

>> No.9662916

>romans were white
when will this retarded meme stop?

>> No.9662922

We are talking about the past before christ retard and still you say jesus is a Jew i say he is a magical man born from a roman
And guess what mary of rome is a roman so that means jesus is roman

>> No.9662932

Imagine arguing about religion in a Gordon Ramsey meme thread

>> No.9662940

No retard

>> No.9662996

Gentlemen we are observing peak autism

>> No.9663012

>he hasn't seen the fried chicken thread

>> No.9663018

Jesus is a jew he has no powers he was poor and everybody hated him and im glad he is dead
And god isn't even real

>> No.9663028


That sounds like where you go when you die if you're good

>> No.9663077

>useful cooking info

Get out.

>> No.9663090
File: 10 KB, 480x360, 1471263844144.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9663093

he could summon bread as long as he had some bread to use as the spell component

>> No.9663106


Lobster Broth:

1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
6 cloves garlic, smashed
3 carrots, roughly chopped
2 ribs celery, roughly chopped
2 red onions, roughly chopped
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
Freshly cracked pepper
1 ounce brandy
1 cup good white wine
6 cups organic vegetable stock
1/3 cup tomato paste
1/2 teaspoon fresh peppercorns
3 cooked lobster carcasses, chopped
2 bay leaves
1 handful fresh Italian flat-leaf parsley sprigs
1 sprig fresh thyme

Dark Roux:

1 stick unsalted butter
1/2 cup all-purpose flour

Lobster Bisque:

1 cup heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon saffron

Lobster Meat:

2 tablespoons unsalted butter
3 cooked lobsters, meat only


ground up lobster carcasses

>> No.9663138

>absolutely stuffed
haha nice joke, in a gourmet restaurant you'd have to order about 37 servings of the same thing in order to fully satisfy even a nigerian starving child

>> No.9663186

why did I laugh like a crazy after reading this post?

>> No.9663231


>> No.9663236

>Loves Fish and Chips
probably the most insane UK episode with the most yelling

not all of them but some of them

on hotel hell they usually end up selling the place though, often because the hotel itself is an unfixable mess in terms of the actual building. like the one with the antique dude, they sold it over recurring plumbing issues

>> No.9663240

But he very rarely goes to high end places. It's usually neighborhood joints that don't exceed 25$ a plate (which is expensive, but hardly the ritz)

>> No.9663244

>"Has this coke been cut?"
>"I don't know chef, you'll have to ask the supplier"
>big toot

>> No.9663251

>Loves Fish and Chips
Can't find it on youtube. Is it the KN about Ruby Tates? That's what came up

>> No.9663259

>Is it the KN about Ruby Tates?
yeah he renames it to Loves as part of the typical mid-episode utterly unnecessary renovation

>> No.9663282

Typical Gordo sabotage. Loves is a trademarked name of a major truck stop chain

>> No.9663299

thanks, watching it now

>> No.9663304

I want to smack that ozzie cunt

>> No.9663308

Gordon looks like he is flying on coke much more than the other episodes i've seen

>> No.9663313

The gays have got the best drugs and he's in Brighton so...

>> No.9663314

>Memorizing random trivia from a religious book isn't really on my plate, mate.
Not that other anon, but there's no reason you shouldn't know that the bible says God made the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th.
So many movies, games, comics, books, etc. have used this as part of their story/satire/whatever. Stop arguing for arguing sake, and just admit you're wrong.

>> No.9663331

i dont think bongs give a shit about yankee truck stops or vice versa

if you want sabotage, look at hotel hell. he always renovates them into the same boring looking place with blue walls and black everything else, with faux-classic furniture to replace the actual classic furniture usually already there

and for all the ITS DIRTY LOOK AT ALL THE SEMEN he doesnt actually seem to replace any room's stuff nor does he instruct the housekeeping staff at all, he just badgers the kitchen people a bit and calls it a day

>> No.9663345
File: 16 KB, 237x213, download (6).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>he just badgers the kitchen people

>> No.9663394

>Have you gotten laid recently?
>n-no chef
>Fuck me...

>> No.9663401

Oh well



>> No.9663411


>> No.9663848 [DELETED] 


best post ITT

>> No.9663882


Look at NOMAs prices

>> No.9664003

production will do some pretty scummy things to make sure your food doesnt turn out great when you cook for him.

adding water to your sauce, distracting the cook in the middle of preparation, not serving the food immediately so it has to sit out for 20 min...

>> No.9664468
File: 9 KB, 275x183, images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTFm90-BX-P3sTPH-yzl9XCKtqio7GhBzq7bv6T2j8JAuQCC-TSJg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>has a sip of water
>bloody hell, waiter!
>taste this
>it just tastes of nothing. It's bland!
>what a disappointment

>> No.9664494

>pours it out on his plate
>"It's soggy."
>"what a shame!"

>> No.9664497


I've heard there is a rather long list of restaurants that he supposedly improved that have now closed the doors. There is one here in my town called Salt Works. I think they reopened under different management now.

>> No.9664547

Gordon is so fucking hot

>> No.9664557

Not true. Gourmet servings may be tiny but they're very rich, so you usually are satisfied with one serving.

Have you ever been to a real gourmet restaurant?

>> No.9664558

Because you're a redditor. Fuck off with your bullshit blog, dumbass.

>> No.9664569

>yes chef, caught this morning.
>yes chef
>yes chef
>deep water chef
>yes chef
>i handcarved it from a 100 year old oak tree that my grandfather planted
>um, no i used a chains-

>> No.9664578

Just like his pan.

>> No.9664581

What's the best Ramsey show

>> No.9664584

>t. europoor

>> No.9664612

Any of them, provided they're the UK versions.

>> No.9664621


>> No.9664633

Don't let your beans be memes

>> No.9664645


>> No.9664662


>> No.9664706
File: 36 KB, 400x400, smart_frogposter.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Im eating literal prison food right now and I imagine this food I consume everyday will be considered lavish costing $1000 a plate in the year 2100.

I feel less bad now thanks anon.

>> No.9664712

Why are you such a faggot?

>> No.9664725

You know trade has existed more or less since the birth of civilization, right?

>> No.9664894

They were fed the ones that washed up on shore. Lobster used to be so plentiful that they washed up after a storm, either dead or dying.

>> No.9664960

The us version is great for laughs and shit, UK is if you want to watch actual cooking

>> No.9664976

I work with a guy that tried out for some food network shows like chopped and shit and they told him that he was good but he was like too boring to go on tv. Like they wanted him to act silly or angry and shit for the camera instead of just cooking seriously

>> No.9665007

I like the Fenwick Arms episode

>Eccentric chef
>Employees that care
>Quaint English town
>Great story

>> No.9665031

Don't @ me unless you're eating food that you grew within a 1 mile radius of your home

>> No.9666007
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>> No.9666671

>resembling (someone or something)

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