/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9666974]

>start cooking dinner
>imagine I'm doing a tutorial show

I'm not the only one, right?

[Anonymous No.9666988]

When I have the house to myself I sometimes put on jazz background music and talk through the steps.

[Anonymous No.9666989]

I don't do this, but I've done it at work. First as a mechanic, and now with medical billing. I also teach my imaginary friends things on car rides.

[Anonymous No.9667001]

I blare music (Tool, post-rock) and start drinking wine while cooking. No imaginary friends but the surplus of wine takes the edge off of eating alone.
Such is the life of a lonely 34 year old male.

[Anonymous No.9667359]

Nah, I only explain random philosophical concepts and advanced physics to imaginary people while showering
Thank God water is included in the rent or my roommate would murder me

[Anonymous No.9667377]

I pretend I'm making my own episode of Food Wishes. The best part is coming up with the "You're the X of your Y" puns

[Anonymous No.9667384]

I only cook when i am hungry so no

[Anonymous No.9667494]

>>9666974
Like what? You narrate your cooking?

[Anonymous No.9667506]

Setup a GoPro and make some YouTube profit.

[Anonymous No.9667510]

>>9666974
I kind of narrate what's going on while I cook. Drives my wife nuts. "I don't need to hear every step of your process," she says. I think it's autism.

[Anonymous No.9667521]

>>9666974
I also do this! And when I make my dog's dinner I sing the steps of what I'm doing to her. This... This is a no judgment zone, right?

[Anonymous No.9667562]

>>9666974
I usually just listen to Metallica or Megadeth. Used to listen to more but those two became my cooking music at some point. Feels kinda empty without it.

[Anonymous No.9667770]

>>9667001

>takes the edge off of eating alone.

Yup.

Fucking hate Tool tho.

[Anonymous No.9667779]

>>9666974
I like to drink and sing while I cook. Nothing more relaxing than that.

[Anonymous No.9667800]

>>9666974
>start cooking
>imaging I have a bf to cook for
>end up making too much

[Anonymous No.9667946]

>>9667001
Post location, will move in to be gf and we can cook together.

[Anonymous No.9667955]

I get stoned and use 100% focus to not cut off a finger or forget a step

[Anonymous No.9667963]

>>9667800
You must do that a lot.

[Anonymous No.9668446]

>>9666989
You'd be a good dad

[Anonymous No.9668498]

>>9666974
I do this with a lot of activities, including cooking. If teaching is supposed to help you reinforce your own skills and knowledge, I imagine this is a pretty healthy habit.

[Anonymous No.9668577]

>>9667946
Are you a girl?

[Anonymous No.9668800]

>>9668577
A girl with a feminine penis!

[Anonymous No.9668867]

>>9666974
I do it too.
It helps me organize my thoughts.

[Anonymous No.9669013]

Nope. I even do segments explaining little bits of history. Hell, I enter into all sorts of soliloquies about random subjects to an imaginary audience. I need help.

[nekuro No.9669018]

>>9666989
cute tb h

[Anonymous No.9669671]

>>9667800
Kys faggot

[Anonymous No.9669758]

>>9666974
Sounds pretty cool desu anon, keep doing it!

[Anonymous No.9669786]

My kitchen is small and designed by a fool. Cant wait to move i can barely stand being in there. I hate living in the city reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

[Anonymous No.9669913]

>>9667800
>make bf’s favorite food
>eat alone

[Anonymous No.9670041]

>>9666974
I do the exact same thing but I pretend I'm hosting a cookery show for beginners.

[Anonymous No.9670056]

>>9666974
Nah but when I’m cooking alone I put on some electroswing, down a few shots of liquor, and dance as I cook. Well, swing dance so I really just do it in between steps while I wait for things to simmer or sear or whatever.

[Anonymous No.9670384]

>>9668577
Yes, very real female.

[Anonymous No.9670411]

i scream uncontrollably as i cook

[Anonymous No.9670540]

>>9670384
Fat?

[Anonymous No.9670560]

>>9667359
>explain x concept to imaginary people
I do this in the shower, doing dishes/cleaning or if I'm trying to fall asleep. Anything from the meta of a video game to world history. It's really soothing. I'm not even ronery it's just nice.

[Anonymous No.9670567]

>>9670540
Nope, just below average weight for my height.

[Anonymous No.9670605]

>>9670567
Not that anon but I live in Miami.

[Anonymous No.9670653]

>>9670605
If you arent first anon then sorry but I dont care.
Need lonely older post-rock bf to cook with.

[Anonymous No.9670661]

>>9667001
>>9667946
>>9668577
>>9670384
>>9670540
>>9670567
>>9670605
You all know Tinder exists right?

[Anonymous No.9670670]

>>9670653
why the fuck does he have to be older you lazy piece of shit

[Anonymous No.9670685]

>>9670653
Meh, was just curious if you lived in Miami too. I'm also older, lonely and post-rock. But, yeah, carry on...

>>9670670
She's probably older too...

[Anonymous No.9670692]

>>9670661

As backwards as it seems i'd rather meet someone from 4chan than tinder, apps/ sites specifically for dating are gross.

>>9670670

Says in his first post that hes 34, learn to read.

[Anonymous No.9670699]

ever since fml guy I always have a beer or a glass of wine while cooking or doing the dishes
it's infinitely more chill to cook like that
together with some nice music I reach 240% comfy level, a blanket appears around me, and I literally start floating around the kitchen

[Anonymous No.9670704]

>>9670670
Maybe they just have a thing for older men? Maybe they're oldish themselves?

[Anonymous No.9670715]

>>9670685
Funny enough I actually used to live in FL but moved about a year ago.

[Anonymous No.9670726]

>>9670692
Suit yourself I guess. Tinder works for me whenever I want to get laid though. If I wanted an actual connection with someone I tend to go for people I meet in my everyday life.

>>9670704
Most women do, you really start pulling in the ladies who are 18-21 when you hit 23-25.

[Anonymous No.9670745]

>>9670715
What part? I'm not that happy here. Trying to learn Spanish because I'm the only white guy and feel like I'm in a foreign country. But, it's where work is so whatever. I'd probably be lonely in some midwestern town too.

[Anonymous No.9670760]

>>9670699
I wish I could drink and cook but I'm /thinspo/ and it's too many calories.

[Anonymous No.9670766]

>>9668446
>>9669018
Is at least one of you in london?

[Anonymous No.9670776]

>>9670726
Yeah I dont go for just one offs, getting laid on its own has no appeal to me, id rather just masturbate.

>>9670745
Bout 30 minutes south of clearwater. Yeah its like that all over the state, except for the panhandle I reckon. Worked at a mcdonalds as my first job and most people in the kitchen spoke spanish, I learned enough to manage them.

[Anonymous No.9670795]

>>9670760
Drink liquor then?

[Anonymous No.9670814]

>>9670760
oh anon how young you must be
see it's easy
you drink more and eat less
set goals like finishing the whole bottle before you finish the meal
or >>9670795
but be careful, I got properly dickered once and the whole kitchen ended up being a fucking mess and I only realized how bad the food was on the second meal
>was fun tho

[Anonymous No.9670834]

>>9666974
>start masturbating
>imagine I'm performing on a cam show and my audience is tipping well

I'm not the only one, right?

[Anonymous No.9670836]

>>9670795
If anything that's worse for me since it's more about the comfiness than actually getting drunk. So a lighter beer seems best for me. But have two beers and that's 300 calories. My TDEE is like 1600.

>>9670814
But I get hungry! A bottle of wine is like more calories than I can have all day.

[Anonymous No.9670857]

I do this a lot. I sometimes record it too, like a shitty youtube cooking show. I just watch it once I'm drinking and laugh, then delete it. I tried doing OC cook-alongs here a few times but it never really went well, hard to compete with "for me its the best fast food sandwhich" and other memes and shit.
Might do an OC one more time this weekend.

I'm also over 30 and lonely. I've never tried tinder because I don't really like the idea of STD's, and also don't get much out of one nighters. I'm not in a large city either, here in Canada, so I have a general idea of who lives near me...Needless to say, there aren't really many single women worth dating. The amount that have kids after age 19 is probably like 70%. Zero interest in hanging around some girl with some other guys kid.

[Anonymous No.9670862]

>>9670857
>Zero interest in hanging around some girl with some other guys kid.
At least you aren't a cuck.

Upside of being 30+ and /foreveralone/ is you get to keep all your money.

[Anonymous No.9670863]

>>9670836
I feel that. I'm not suggesting you take shots or anything. Make a non-sweet mix drink to get extra mileage out of the drink and not get tipsy so fast. Could do something like a mojito without the simple syrup for example. You can sip on that like a beer.

[Anonymous No.9670867]

It's like you people have never heard of expensive prostitutes

[Anonymous No.9670873]

>>9670867
I have. Too afraid. Not sure where to shop either.

[Anonymous No.9670874]

>>9670857
>hard to compete with "for me its the best fast food sandwhich" and other memes and shit.
Please keep trying anon. The board needs more threads like yours.

[Anonymous No.9670882]

>>9670857
>>9670776
>>9670726
Tinder is perfectly valid for finding dating material. Just be clear you aren't looking for one time things in either your bio or early in conversation so no one is wasting their time. It's how I met adorably awkward gf.

[Anonymous No.9670887]

>>9670867
Comfy gf to cook with is more appealing than sex with a stranger to me.

[Anonymous No.9670893]

>>9670857
>hard to compete with "for me its the best fast food sandwhich"
anon don't be a bitch and make the OC cookalongs
even I got a few going and they're fun, you don't even have to post while you're actually cooking, juts take pictures of the progress

and I'm just gonna force my meme from the last one until it catches on I swear

[Anonymous No.9670915]

>>9670887
That's gay

[Anonymous No.9670919]

>>9670893
i'll do a couple this weekend, haven't had 2 days off in a row in ages.

[Anonymous No.9670925]

>>9670919
what are you gonna make anon :3

[Anonymous No.9670962]

>>9670887
faggot

[Anonymous No.9670978]

>>9670915
>>9670962
if I give you (You)s
will you die?

[Anonymous No.9671005]

>>9670925
I'm not really sure... I was thinking squash soup or borscht. Any maybe a beef stew as well. Something I can put into containers and freeze/bring to night shifts to keep me warm

[Anonymous No.9671020]

>>9671005
I’m looking forward to this! Please do the beef stew

[Anonymous No.9671035]

>>9671005
/beefstew/

[Anonymous No.9671048]

>>9671020
>>9671035
Consider it on the list. Saturday or maybe Friday if i get enough sleep

[Anonymous No.9671123]

>>9670873
Online. Or ask at a hotel.

[Anonymous No.9671136]

>>9671123
Online i've looked into, sketchy as fuck. Hotel not sure who to ask. Sometimes I see girls that might be prostitutes in hotel bars and stuff but..

[Anonymous No.9671167]

I can imagine having my tutorial

>HELLO WILDCATS!! ITS 'HOW TO COOK LIKE A COMPLETE FUCKING RETARD' .. I'M BYYAAAAAAACK!!
>whole kitchen is aflame 20 seconds in
>end video abruptly at 00:26

[Anonymous No.9671231]

>>9671136
Use reputable agencies, they exist, find reviews and stuff. The amount of university aged girls supplementing costs with escorting is unbelievable.

[Anonymous No.9671273]

>>9671231
How do you find a reputable agency?

[chop No.9671332]

>>9671136
Try buying one of those girls a drink and talking to her.
If you're lucky she won't even charge you money for it.

[Anonymous No.9671336]

>>9671332
I fuckup every time

[Anonymous No.9671624]

>>9671336
See that's why you pay them, then they have to pretend they like you.

[Anonymous No.9671836]

>>9667001
I'm 36 and single, I evolved into making a massive meal each Sunday while blasting music which usually gives me at least 10 portions so I can throw it in the freezer and be happy knowing I've got nutritious home made meals to heat up after my 12 beers a night without fear of burning my place down.

[Anonymous No.9674013]

>>9671836
>depression
The book 'Feeling Good' by MD David Burns can help. It's about cognitive-behavioral therapy, a successful treatment for depression.

Link:
https://www.sendspace.com/file/vedhl0

[Anonymous No.9674052]

>>9670862
>Upside of being 30+ and /foreveralone/ is you get to keep all your money.
That's assuming you have any. Not that anon but I learned about that shit the hard way, so I lost the dosh and am basically starting over. I feel like being a kissless virgin would have been better.

[Anonymous No.9674072]

>>9670699
Only way it's better is if you have friends that are also into cooking and you get together, drink, listen to music, and cook together.

[Anonymous No.9674079]

>>9670857
Keep trying man, not enough actual cooking content on here. If you're really having trouble, post to fml guy's threads, they at least stay up. That's what I've been doing, although I haven't had time to put any of my projects up on there in a while.

[Anonymous No.9674348]

>>9667521
Holy shit same lmao

[Anonymous No.9674352]

>>9670411
Underrated

[Anonymous No.9674395]

>>9666974
>Cooking dinner
>Imagine I have a girlfriend I'm cooking for

[Anonymous No.9674665]

>>9674052
She took half?

[Anonymous No.9674669]

I have a friend who cooks pizza and in doing so, imagines himself being on a study session with a girl he likes late at night, stopping to make a pizza to satiate their hunger, serving it as he claims "sorry, it's quite bad but at least it's something" when he is actually quite confident about it and that the girl ends up loving it and starts liking him as he eats his food. Haha, that dude.

[Anonymous No.9674677]

>>9668800
A feminine penis and a cute gunt?

[Anonymous No.9674987]

I always imagine myself cooking for someone or something, whether it is for an imagined girl, my own cooking show or just a group of people. I explain everything I do in my head and answer questions that people might ask during the process.

[Anonymous No.9675295]

>>9674987
how would you answer "anon, where do you think we are?"