/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.9726099]

Embarrassing food/restaurant stories? Ill start
>be eating at ramen restaurant for three years
>waiters and chiefs recognize me
>always eat ramen with a fork
>I cannot use chop sticks
>one day, get served usual bowl of ramen I get
>waiter forgot to bring fork even though I asked for it multiple times
>awkwardly stand up in the middle of the restaurant and slowly stag around
>chiefs visibly chuckle to each other
>eventually I stumble into my waiter and ask her for a fork
>sit down and notice chiefs are still audibly giggling and avoiding eye contact
>also went to japan and was too embarrassed to eat ramen with fork
I missed out big time

also I dont think I can eat at this restaurant ever again

[Anonymous No.9726144]

It's not that fucking hard to use chopsticks.

[Anonymous No.9726328]

>>9726099
>All that protein in one meal
Why

[Anonymous No.9726334]

>>9726328
Who said you had to eat it all at once.
And even if you did eat it all at once, so what? Unless you're gorging yourself like that daily there is no concern.

>>9726144
The ineptitude and stupidity of the human race never ceases to amaze me.

[Anonymous No.9726336]

>>9726328
>>All that protein in one meal
>Why

Because Fuck You.

That's why.

[Anonymous No.9726346]

>>9726099
Had you never considered learning how to use chopsticks, if ramen is a meal you like so much you get it repeatedly?

I mean I literally taught my friend to use them to a reasonable degree in about a minute.

[Anonymous No.9726349]

>>9726328
t. soyboy

[Anonymous No.9726356]

>>9726099
God you are a beta.

>be with mother getting lunch at local short-order-cook mom and pop place
>get haddock dinners to go home and watch lego movie with brother
>delicious double beer battered haddock with crispy shoestring fries and cabbage slaw with no onion or pepper or trash in it
excellent
>mother insists that there is something wrong with her dinner
>drive back, she goes up to the counter claiming there is no fish in her dinner!
>wtf no fish in her dinner? It feels heavy, there is a piece in there for sure
>'theres no piece of fish in my dinner!'
>cook hears her scream this
>leans his head around the corner
>'the fish is under the fries. I put it there to keep your fries from getting soggy from the fried fish and oil'
>mother looks under fries
>an obvious and large piece of fried haddock
>'oh well you hid it on me! an now i've wasted my time driving back! '
mom pls

[Anonymous No.9726357]

>>9726099
>also I dont think I can eat at this restaurant ever again

Learn to use chopsticks, and then go back, and show them you're a human being that can improve himself.

Or don't, and just run away from the issue, like I would. And then keep running away, and drop out of college because of a depression you've been too much of a coward to face for 16 years, and you think about walking out into the woods in the middle of winter to die because you're too much of a bitch to just take your own life actively, that you have to let temperature do it for you.

That's the choice you get to make.

[Anonymous No.9726362]

NOT THAT FUCKING HARD

[Anonymous No.9726521]

>>9726356
This cannot be real

[Anonymous No.9726533]

>>9726357
Are you me?

[Anonymous No.9726537]

>>9726099
“I prefer the Chinese restaurants that have the silverware on the table when you arrive, because there's nothing more humiliating than starting with chopsticks and having to turn to the waiter and say, 'Yeah, uh, hi. I'm too white. Do you have a shovel back there? Chopsticks are fun, but I'd rather eat than play Operation.'”
-- Jim Gaffigan: Beyond the Pale

[Anonymous No.9726730]

going to waffle house for the usual
ask for shit on a shingle on the side
didn't realize there was a new waitress
young thin blonde with a visible crucifix neck pendant stares at me
her eyes are watery
her lips quiver as she asks "excuse me"
Don't know if mad or angry
a, are you ok hun?

my usual waitress rushes over and starts berating me for talking mean to her. we usually banter but she's going full momma hen on my ass, young waitress start crying.

I, i, i just ordered the usual betty...
girl rushes to the back. about 2" away because it's a fucking tiny waffle house, talk it out with betty, i just ordered some shit on a shingle. we clear it up and she tells she's a nice dumb girl who thought i calling her shitty or something. I apologize to the girl and betty introduce us.
apparently she had a rough first day getting overwhelmed by the rush hour that had just been.
I left her a tip and hit on her for the entire meal while putting her down about being a pathetic little girl who can't handle the pressure of working at a WH. tell betty the new girl may need a sugar daddy like me. I made sure new girl heard me.

[Anonymous No.9726758]

>>9726730
Billy! I told you to clean up your room! You know your cousin is coming to sleep over!

[Anonymous No.9726945]

>>9726357
>>9726362
>>9726537
>>9726356
>>9726346
>>9726144
fuck you I didnt make this thread to get bullied...the other ramen place I ate at for ten years didnt care that I ate ramen with a fork, but sadly that ramen place closed down...and my mommy tried to teach me multiple times, it's just too hard for me ok?

[Anonymous No.9726958]

>>9726945
I REALLY hope you are actually OP

[Anonymous No.9727011]

>>9726328
Would you like some soylent instead?

[Anonymous No.9727071]

The Szechuan place I go to decides whether to fork you based on what you order. If you get the orange chicken, it's served with a fork. lel

[Anonymous No.9727265]

>>9726730
this is a very funny visual.

[Anonymous No.9727515]

>>9726099
wow you sound like a fucking loser.

[Anonymous No.9727565]

>>9726099
>I can't use chopsticks
Why do people act like its some form of mystical art form being hidden away from the white devil by shifty eyed dragon lords or some shit?

[Anonymous No.9727640]

>>9726945
Genuinely pathetic OP. Get your life sorted. No one's going to do it for you.

[Anonymous No.9727659]

>>9726099
That doggo better get to gnaw on that tomahawk when you're done, or Imma be pissed and come lookin for you.

[Anonymous No.9727660]

>>9727565
If you're eating long noodles in a soup, chopsticks are fucking retarded no matter how good you are with them. The most skilled Asian who's used sticks their whole life still won't be as efficient as someone with a fork.
Chopsticks are fine for bite-sized foods but there's no reason to use them for fucking soup unless you're autistic about muh authentic nippon experience

[Anonymous No.9727733]

>>9727660
says the dumbfuck who can't utilize two fucking sticks to feed himself.

[Anonymous No.9727752]

>>9727660
i know a couple of billion people who may disagree with you, m8

[Anonymous No.9727770]

>>9726144
>>9726346
If a person wants to use a fork, let them use a fucking fork.
There's no fucking law saying you HAVE to eat with chopsticks... if a person doesn't want to use them, so fucking what?
You're not superior in any way just because you're able to use them and someone else wants to use a fork instead.
Stop acting like a high and mighty cunt on the internet over something so trivial as fucking chopsticks.

[Anonymous No.9727806]

>>9726758
Is Billy a boy or a girl?
Is cousin a boy or a girl?

[Anonymous No.9728028]

>>9727660
I love this idea that you have to be efficient at eating, as if most people have trouble inhaling their food quickly enough.

[Anonymous No.9728750]

>>9727660
Aside from your own fingers, chop sticks are the simplest eating utensils available. I can be lost in the woods and in a minute or so make myself a pair of chop sticks. How quickly can you make a fork?

[Anonymous No.9728765]

>>9726099
Are you sure your fly wasn’t down or something?

[Anonymous No.9728845]

>>9727770
Au contraire, I am clearly superior to someone who is too stupid to use chopsticks. The only exception is for someone who can't use them due to a disability.

[Anonymous No.9729034]

That's why I bring my own fork to asian restaurants just in case. I wouldn't go back to that place though, those people are assholes. Don't worry OP only asians and nu-males use chopsticks.

[Anonymous No.9729064]

Order 500 forks to the establishment and a week later burn the place down.

[Anonymous No.9729086]

>>9728750
I always carry scissors, so about 30 seconds with a tin can lid.
Or 5 seconds if you pick up a pointy stick andstab stuff with it.

[Anonymous No.9729109]

>>9727659
We wuz thankin da same ting

[Anonymous No.9729131]

>>9726099
If your waiter forgets something, you don't chase after them or walk around the restaurant. How is this news to you? Keep your ass seated and wait until they're to get their attention.

[Anonymous No.9729148]

>>9728750
>simplicity equals efficiency

[Anonymous No.9729164]

>>9728750
>lost in the woods
>make chopsticks
>set a trap for kung pao chicken
>wait...

[Anonymous No.9729173]

>>9726328
Hello Genderqueer!

I believe you dropped your tampon.

[Anonymous No.9729206]

>>9726328

hello pusy boy

[Anonymous No.9729261]

>>9726328
hello rèddit

[Anonymous No.9729266]

>>9726328
SoyboyBait.jpeg

[Anonymous No.9729302]

>>9727770
>>9728845
Yeah but, lets not kid ourselves, the fork is clearly the superior option for eating noodles. It requires no special instructions to operate and you can easily control the amount of noodles you want, AND you can completely avoid slurping like a slob if you choose to.

Chopsticks are superior for grasping delicate foods, like sushi.

And for the record I use the chopsticks for ramen when I go out to eat, mostly because it's more trouble to ask for a fork than it is to eat with the utensils provided. Neither of which being very troublesome to begin with, mind you.

[Anonymous No.9729324]

>>9729173
>>9729206
>>9729261
>>9729266
At least you tried

[Anonymous No.9729338]

>>9729302
Slurping in Asian cultures (mostly Chinese though) is considered a good thing it shows you are enjoying your meal.

[Anonymous No.9729540]

>>9726099
>>9726144
I have shitty fingers from bleeding in my brain as an infant, and I'm doing fine living in Japan using chopsticks. I can't really write legibly, but I can use chopsticks decently.

>>9729302
You can just eat sushi with your hands, though.

[Anonymous No.9729559]

>>9729302
>chopsticks for sushi
Sushi is finger food, retard.

[Anonymous No.9729591]

>>9726099
I eat ramen and pho with the white spoon, why the fuck would you eat soup with chopsticks?

[Anonymous No.9729611]

/CK/ makes me rage so often with stupid post after stupid post. I know some are trolls but some are just retard level dumb.

[Anonymous No.9729655]

>>9729540
I have carpal tunnel and writing with pen/pencil and chopsticks make my hands hurt awful fierce. I'd love to use chopsticks to eat my chink food

[Anonymous No.9729706]

>>9727659
It's extremely dangerous to give dogs cooked bones. They can shatter. Raw is the way to go.

[Anonymous No.9729707]

>>9729302
>get a load of this white gajin

[Anonymous No.9729786]

>guy makes a thread about embarrassing food stories
>53 replies ragging on him and like two additional stories

I don't really have any embarrassing restaurant stories.

[Anonymous No.9729800]

>>9727660
you literally could not be more wrong, long noodles are what chopsticks excel at.
in thailand, for example, other foods are served with a fork but noodles are served with chopsticks.
eating pasta with a fork is what's retarded.

[Anonymous No.9729976]

>grow up with family occasionally using chopsticks on fun dinner nights
>We are all pretty proficient
>I move country to England for a better education
>Spend 5 years never touching a chopstick
>Get invited out to a Jap style restaurant by a girl who I was really into
>Waiter brings along silverware along with the chopsticks
>I say "no it's ok" as he was about to place the silver ware
>Not much is thought of it by any party, maybe because I seemed so regular about it
>First main dish comes out requiring me to use them
>I can't for the fucking life of me get it right
>Even knock over my glass and everything
>Have to signal and ask the waiter to send back silverware
>Apple of my eye is chuckling at me
>Table next to us sniggering
>Sure the waiter was holding it back but he kept a straight face

[Anonymous No.9730001]

>>9726328
Hi soygoyboy!

[Anonymous No.9730014]

>>9729302
I thought this website was for weaboos?

You don't eat sushi with chopsticks

[Anonymous No.9730024]

>>9726730
sick larp bro. maybe next time you can pretend you have charisma again, it's super fun.

[Anonymous No.9730056]

>>9726099
>be at my favorite ramen shop
>I eat there twice a week
>its a very small space with counter seating only
>only seats about 12 people in total in the place
>sitting very close elbow to elbow with just enough room behind you for people to walk past single file
>guy cooking his has little stove behind the counter
>always full of japanese people during lunch time
>bring a friend of mine there at lunch time
>there's an anime convention in town
>my friend is a retard that doesn't think before he speaks
>he's talking period which is already bad enough because nobody else in there is talking
>he's talking about cosplayers that are walking around the neighborhood
>"I just really hate all these japanese faggots"
>suddenly all the eating stops and everyone is looking at us angrily
>this is the most humiliated I have ever been in my life
>I pay and we leave
>I go back the next week
>owner usually welcomes me graciously because I'm a good customer
>he just drops the menu in front of me and doesn't say a word or make eye contact
>I can take a hint so I left and never went back

I hate that this place was taken from me

[Anonymous No.9730096]

>>9730056
Thats really depressing. Im sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous No.9730405]

>>9729800
I use a fork and a spoon. Cramp free eating experience. Weebs can get fucked.

[Anonymous No.9730447]

>>9730056

>my friend is a retard that doesn't think before he speaks

And you are a retard for not realising this and explaining to him the expected etiquette In that establishment. Or even bringing him there in the first place.

[Anonymous No.9730481]

>>9730096
>>9730056

Soyboys detected. You losers wouldn't be so depressed if you stop filling your bodies with garbage

[Anonymous No.9730502]

>>9730481
Shadilay fellow kekistani

[Anonymous No.9730531]

>>9730502

[Anonymous No.9730642]

>>9730481
Are you okay? You don't seem coherent.

[Anonymous No.9730646]

>>9726099
How the fuck did you eat for 3 years? What happens when the place closes for the night? What the fuck?

[Anonymous No.9730708]

>>9727770
Let me guess, you also think table manners aren’t necessary

[Anonymous No.9730728]

>>9728750

You could make a serviceable fork out of forked stick in a very small amount t of time.

Also if I am lost in the woods an actual utensil is near worthless, other than a pointy stick to spear something on.

[Anonymous No.9730737]

>>9726357
lol stop projecting, the moral isn't that he needs to learn how to use chopsticks

[Anonymous No.9730746]

>>9730708
Fuck off racist

[Anonymous No.9730764]

>>9726099
If I were you I would have made a complete ass of myself making a mess with the chopstics slurping the noodles and grabbing the bowl and drinking the broth really loudly and exclaiming delicious and telling other people to try it, they would never pull that shit on you again

[Anonymous No.9730804]

>>9728750
You could eat with a blunt club too but that doesn't make you any less retarded, despite needing only half the sticks and no points

[Anonymous No.9730825]

>>9730056
>I just leave politely
Or you can man the fuck up and get the chef's attention, directly address the situation by apologizing for your friend's rudeness and saying he won't be back, then order the same thing you usually do. If the chef wants to be a thin-skinned can't because someone who wasn't you was a douche despite you being a long-time loyal customer, he's the one with the baggage, not you.

[Anonymous No.9730846]

>>9730825
>Apologize

A man never apologizes, my soy consuming comrade

[Anonymous No.9730867]

>>9730846
You apologize directly when you feel you have done wrong. If you're going to meme like a faggot, your post wreaks of millennial entitlement, the generation that has all those soyboys you are obsessed with.

[Anonymous No.9730913]

>>9730846
>make a poor decision
>"well I better run from this problem and just avoid the place from now on instead of doing the rational thing and talk to the offended party"
Doesn't sound that manly to me faggot

[Anonymous No.9731309]

>>9730846
That’s 100% wrong, wanker. I bet you get slapped quite often.

[Anonymous No.9731371]

>>9730867
I'm a boomer. Op did nothing wrong but scamper away like a fag. Learn from Trump little boys and you will get some respect. If you feel the need to say something make a joke at the furries expense

[Anonymous No.9731393]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/time-out/201512/never-apologize-never-explain

[Anonymous No.9731492]

>>9731371
>Learn from Trump little boys and you will get some respect
>Literally the least respected president both domestically and internationally in US history.

LMAO!

[Anonymous No.9732167]

>>9727660
i cant even visualize someone eating soup with a FORK, fucking lol. nobody older than like 5 should put his fork anywhere near a bowl of soup

[Anonymous No.9732237]

>>9727660
I prefer chopsticks bc no unnatural metal in your mouth.
Also easy af to use with a little practice.

[Anonymous No.9732415]

>>9728750
I dont live in the woods anymore, so ill use a fork.

[Anonymous No.9732489]

>>9732237
>metal isn't natural

[Anonymous No.9732518]

>sitting eating my meal with friends
>see a reflection in my (plastic) glass of ginger ale from a nearby window
>wrongly percieve this visual cue as my drink tipping over
>fight or flight reptile brain activates and I frantically try to save my drink which is actually stably sitting on the table
>backhand the glass like halfway across the room leaving a good 30' long wake of ginger ale on the linoleum floor

I have an anxiety disorder

[Anonymous No.9732523]

>>9732489
>Putting machine made sticks in your mouth is natural

[Anonymous No.9732585]

>>9731492
>Better approval rates than any major EU leader

[Anonymous No.9732993]

>>9732518
Oh fuck I’m laffin

[Anonymous No.9733013]

>>9726099
>posted probably fake story on 4chan
>type "chiefs" instead of "chefs"
>OK maybe that was an accident
>do it again

[Anonymous No.9733090]

>>9732518

fuuuuuck I thought I was the only one who did this. I have something like top 8th percentile vision and great reflexes from lifelong sports, but I always mis-see things in my peripheral and fuck things up

>take girl to jazz club
>super old school cool and classy
>old black dudes smoking cigars, wearing suits and nodding to music
>order us a pair of fancy cocktails
>sit down and start enjoying drinks
>looking at stage, see candle flicker on table out of corner of eye
>try to ninja grab the nonexistent glass I think is falling off the table
>actually end up knocking glass off table
>shatters, glass and booze everywhere, band hiccups for a second but gets right back in

it gets worse

>mortified, scramble to bar to grab dishrag and new drink
>trying to clean this shit up while not making a huge scene
>sop it all up and pick up shards
>try to be subtle and quietly get back into chair, hunched over
>boot slips on drink residue
>grab for edge of table
>miss
>knocks other drink off table and it shatters

[Anonymous No.9733118]

I was eating at an all-you-can-eat stir-fry place and I got a call from work saying that I needed to be back in the office asap, and I sperged out when the owner wouldn't give me a take-out tray. I understand the policy, but I have been eating at this restaurant regularly for many years and the owner knew that I always have two plates, this was a one time favor I was asking as a regular long time customer, and he wouldn't do it. I hate seeing good food thrown out, so I lost it and made an ass of myself.

[Anonymous No.9733123]

>>9729338
Do you live in china then faggot? no? then shut the fuck up.

[Anonymous No.9733221]

Meat is nasty.

[Anonymous No.9733254]

>>9733118
probably just concsrned about setting a precedent. what if you get it and then ask for it regularly, what if two regulars see it and they also want an exception. beter make one regular mad than several others new and old costumers.
you are kind of an ass for putting him in that position.
but mhu regular business, it's nothing compared to the trouble you could cause. do you ever just decide to pay more for your food and drink? they have never refused you service and you obviously enjoy their food.

[Anonymous No.9733331]

>>9726099
My family...we're the people who clap sarcastically when a waiter drops a tray.

[Anonymous No.9733347]

>>9733013
Not now chief, I'm in the fucking zone

[Anonymous No.9733372]

>>9732585
>caring about Yuropoor leaders

Sad!

[Anonymous No.9733588]

>>9733090
wew

[Anonymous No.9733638]

WE TIP WITH A RIP

[Anonymous No.9733653]

>>9727770
I can't tell if this is sincere or some kind of next-level irony

[Anonymous No.9733678]

>>9726328
Max gains

If you're not suffering from protein poisoning almost every day you are a beta male cucklet soyboy.

[Anonymous No.9734483]

>>9726357
>walking out into the woods in the middle of winter to die because you're too much of a bitch to just take your own life actively, that you have to let temperature do it for you.
This is a good idea

[Anonymous No.9734565]

>>9734483
Make sure to post it to your /r9k/ buddies.

[Anonymous No.9734568]

>>9729559
>>9729540
>>9730014
>Eating with your hands and slurping like savages
I think I'd rather be a gajin.

[Anonymous No.9734583]

>>9734568
I'm the guy in Japan, and believe me I'm still a gaijin. The guys who want to actually be Japanese are the ones who get bitter when they realize it's never ever.

[Anonymous No.9734589]

>>9730846
There's a big difference between apologizing like a coward, and making amends like a man.

Doing what was suggested would have taken courage, and most likely would have been received with a high level of respect, because it is a manly thing to do.

[Anonymous No.9734607]

>>9730056
>>9730825
>>9734589
Even MORE manly would have been correcting your friend on the spot and reprimanding him right then and there. Sometimes people need to be told, and contrary to what you might think, this is being a good friend, as well as being a man.

A simple
>Dude, not cool
Is all it would take

[Anonymous No.9734611]

>>9734583
I enjoy my weebshit as much as the next filthy gaijin, but I don't want to be a Jap, they have some really awful and sickening aspects to their culture that frankly could use a little western influence.

[Anonymous No.9734673]

>>9729086
you always carry scissors?

[Anonymous No.9734705]

>>9734607
No

[Anonymous No.9734731]

>>9734705
>soyboy

[Anonymous No.9734974]

>>9729034

>don't worry, only half the planets population can use chopsticks without problems
>we are definitely Not mentally deficient
for failing this simple task that even a genuine retard shouldn't have problems with

[Anonymous No.9735027]

>>9726099
>eating ramen with a fork
Let me guess, you eat your steak well done and with ketchup, right?

[Anonymous No.9735131]

>>9734974
This. Think about it, even certified downies and retardos in asia are capable of using chopsticks competently.

[Anonymous No.9735170]

>>9735131
You are capable of eating your own shit. That doesn't make it a good thing to do

[Anonymous No.9735190]

>>9726099
>went shopping in the station
>had some loose change
>saw maccas
>carefully count the change for exact amount
>order a burger, chicken and cheese, and six nuggets
>"what sauce do you want"
>fuck
>haven't thought about sauce
>freezed
>"uhh..what sau-"
>"ranchbbqketchupsweetsou-"
>panics
>"uh..ketchup"
>instant regret
>want to correct it to ranch when the total was in
>it is different from the calculation
>in panic handed in money
>had more change than before
>fuck
>got my order and ran as fast back home
>opens paper bag
>they forgot the burger
>mfw
Maccas is mcdonalds you dum dum

[Anonymous No.9735212]

>Go to eat at a good hole-in-the-wall comf food
>Mum's visiting
>She not only is the type that will tip 30% for "okay" service, but she is deathly afraid of staff spitting in her food
>Make quick banter with the waiter
>Immediately hear "Address him as sir and say thank you"
>I haven't talked to her in like 4 years so I'm thinking this is a joke
>It's not
>Entire rest of the evening is awkward between her berating me for "bullying the waiter" and my genuine confusion at how this night went

[Anonymous No.9735716]

>>9730056
Aye, fuck that. If I did nothing wrong your Japanese arse can just stay bitter I'm here for food.

[Anonymous No.9735726]

>>9733331
Ah man, I'm Scottish, half the people in the restaurant will go "eyyy" or somesuch.

[Anonymous No.9735749]

>>9726533
This

[Anonymous No.9737503]

>>9733090
Please tell me this is fake. I need to know this didn't happen.

[Anonymous No.9737540]

>>9729706
I thought only cooked poultry bones were bad for them.

[Anonymous No.9737762]

>>9729164
kek

[Anonymous No.9737969]

>>9735190
is this a copy pasta or something?
i saw this exact post 2 days ago

[Anonymous No.9738234]

>>9727660
Ramen comes with chopsticks and a ramen spoon though. You eat the ingredients with the chopsticks and sip the soup with the spoon. When the bowl is down to 1/3rd full of just soup you pick up the bowl and drink straight from it.

>>9732237
>Chopsticks
>Metal

[Anonymous No.9738376]

>>9737503

I'm...I'm so sorry. It did happen.

I thought I had mild schizophrenia for a while because I'm always seeing flutters and flashes out of the corner of my eye and I think it's bugs flying around or people that aren't there. Doc said it's mostly like lack of sleep/anxiety related.

[Anonymous No.9738428]

>>9729164
Huehuehuehuehuehue

[Anonymous No.9738531]

it's related to your pic.
go to a grill order me a tomahawk steak like the one pictured, but before that order me a soup. get done steak gets here it comes with a baked potato, some beans and some jalapenos and habaneros that have been smoked (Mexican restaurant Sonoran grill).
I take a bite of the jalapenos they were alright, take a bite of the habanero I tear up and sweat ohh shit my facial nerves have been stimulated and I start to have a runny nose. my friend doesn't believe that it's that hot so he eats it and starts crying kek. I finish my steak waiter comes up and brings my friend water asks if we want anything for the heat, I order my a lava cake he brings 2 spoons mfw he thought he were soy boys and dating.

[Anonymous No.9738560]

>>9730056
>being friends with the autistic
You got precisely what you deserved.

[Anonymous No.9738567]

>>9726328

> Not subscribing to the steak and egg diet

Fucking soyboy.

[Anonymous No.9738583]

>>9738376
did she marry you tho

[Anonymous No.9738826]

>>9727770
I live in Japan and yes there fucking is. Even people with down syndrome use chopsticks. Ramen restaurants here have no forks ever.

[Anonymous No.9738835]

>>9734568
I dont know where the slurping thing came from I lived in Tokyo and the country side and it was considered fucking rude in both.

[Anonymous No.9738845]

>>9726328
Found the DYEL bitchboy SJW limp-wristed beta numale libcuck. How about you run back to >>>/r/eddit and suck off your faggot soyboy boyfriends? I'm sure all the semen is enough protein for you.

[Anonymous No.9738897]

>>9735190
>>9737969
just some lazy ass anon reposting his OC I guess

[Anonymous No.9738902]

>>9726099
I wouldn't have the heart to eat that in front of a doggo.
Just cruel at that point.
Giant ass fuckin bone and shit.

[Anonymous No.9738913]

>>9726328
Fuck off, faggot.

[Anonymous No.9738965]

>>9726099
This thread and the replies makes me think alot about my life.
I read some of these posts and empathize with you guys about how hard it is just to fucking live when you worry about everything constantly.
>>9726357
Like this.
I was this person. For like a solid 2 decades I feared and hated everything.

Now I am not saying what worked for me will work for you, but this is how it went for me.
I got angry.
More than that, I got fucking furious. At everything. The shitty trailers I had to live in. The shitty food I had to eat. The shitty people I went to school with, my shitty brother who did nothing but fuck with me for entertainment. My shitty mom who did fuck all to give us a life worth growing up in. My shitty dad for abandoning us. etc etc etc
And you know what? It felt wonderful.
All you have to do is embrace madness.
Punch fucking holes in walls, throw shit, break shit, rip a door off its hinges and punch that shit until your knuckles bleed, scream at people, tell cops to go fuck themselves.

Above all: USE YOUR ANGER.
If you actually have a shit life, and have been pissed on by people, you cannot keep that bottled up. Righteous anger needs to find an outlets or it will drive you insane.

[Anonymous No.9739013]

>>9730481
You seem lost, I think you were trying to go to >>>/pol/ or maybe even reddit.

[Anonymous No.9739073]

>>9726758
My cousin is hot and an ultraslut, but God damned I cannot stand her. She is the "God is good" type of girl then post pictures with her ass half hanging out at a night club.
I wish my other cousin would visit, she is a ultra cute naive girl with a pixie cut and double Ds and freckles.
I'm gonna hate tomorrow and I have to be sober for it

[Anonymous No.9739079]

>>9729164
Huhuhu

[Anonymous No.9739081]

>>9730804
Heaven forbid I use a sharp club

[Anonymous No.9739101]

>>9726328
t b h, this guy has a point. That steak would go better with something more contrasting than more protein (eggs).

[Anonymous No.9739121]

>>9739101
your body can handle a varied diet over a few days or weeks

[Anonymous No.9739136]

>>9739121
I don't even understand the point you're trying to make.
My point was that that steak would better go with some fiber or carbs from a flavor standpoint, not a nutritional one.

[Anonymous No.9739159]

>>9739136
>i'm all about flavortown

[Anonymous No.9739169]

>tfw going to japan in a month
>still shit at using chopsticks
HELP

[Anonymous No.9739174]

>>9739169
umm.... use them? they also have forks (unless it's a small shop) and traditional spoons for more liquid foods.

[Anonymous No.9739183]

>>9739169
Just use them.

Like buy some chopsticks and cup ramen and eat with them.

I'm the bleeding in my brain guy who can't write legibly. You get used to them as you use them. Especially when I started eating salads daily using chopsticks, it got much easier. It isn't hard.

If you're a tourist going to big cities you can ask for a fork anywhere that isn't ultra traditional, though.

[Anonymous No.9739207]

>Was like 12
>didn't understand how ordering at subway works
>tell him everything I want upfront
>"can I have a ham sandwich with lettuce and tomatoes please" or something
>he puts the ham on and gets to the vegetable section and asks what vegetables I want
>"w-what I already told you"
>he just looks at me
>get scared and run away
>cry in eb games because my stepdad won't let me get stubbs the zombie without my dad's permissions because it looks too violent
>eventually we call him and get permission
>amazing game with sweet coop campaign
Stubbs 2 when?

[Anonymous No.9739222]

>>9739207
>stubbs the zombie
My nigga. The only other game to be made with the original Halo engine.

[Anonymous No.9740145]

>>9726099
>ramen
>fork
I always eat it with a spoon.

[Anonymous No.9740166]

there is nothing wrong with not being able to use chopsticks to eat. it is a monkey level skill to eat with sticks. for instance, surely you also cannot swing effortlessly through a canopy either. we have had superior tools for too long and have lost much of what made us monkeys. anyone capable of using chopsticks is less evolved and has poor genetics.

[Anonymous No.9740168]

>>9726099
You eat there so often they know who you are, yet they only discovered you couldn't use chopsticks on that day ?

[Anonymous No.9740194]

>>9726357
Holy shit I actually thought of doing this last night as I'm too much of a pussy to hang myself, attempt to OD or throw myself off a bridge. You also basically described my life.

[Anonymous No.9740230]

>>9732523
Yes because chopsticks are made by hand. Fucking mongo.

[Anonymous No.9740753]

>>9739013
hello soygoy

[Anonymous No.9740778]

>>9740753
Take your stupid buzzwords back to your fucking containment board.

[Anonymous No.9740794]

>>9726356
dang that's a good cook

[Anonymous No.9740805]

>>9740778
you triggered soygoy?

[Anonymous No.9740819]

>>9740805
Stop.

[Anonymous No.9740893]

>>9740819
>Only Jewish buzzwords allowed

[Anonymous No.9740931]

>>9740819
you are fag

[Anonymous No.9740982]

>>9726356
Why did you drive her back? You knew this was happening. You could've just told her to look under the fries or look yourself, but no you had to go back there and make an unnecessary scene.

[Anonymous No.9741552]

>>9726328
You consume more protein from all the cum you guzzle down you fucking faggot.

[Anonymous No.9741865]

>>9738965
nigger what? You could have redeemed yourself just by saying you use that anger to better yourself with education, perseverance, fitness training, and self improvement. Instead this is what you did.

>my life sucks
>i act like a dickhead with no redeeming qualities
>justify being a dickhead but being a dickhead

It's almost like you want a shitty cycle to continue. You get angry at a cop and tell them to fuck themselves, they go and shoot people for being black, donald trump gets elected, and ramen noodles are made illegal after a ramen store hides a fork from a black man who never learned to use chipsticks.

spoilers OP should have learned how to use chopsticks if he didnt want to look like a fool.

[Anonymous No.9741946]

[Anonymous No.9741952]

[Anonymous No.9741958]

[Anonymous No.9741976]

[Anonymous No.9741989]

[Anonymous No.9741999]

[Anonymous No.9742015]

[Anonymous No.9742030]

>be 7
>we go to golden corral for moms birthday
>ask dad if I cant get desserts
>he said yes and let me run wild
>I go get ice crean
>at topping station
>start using scooper and shovel gummy bears in mouth (I was fat)
>some mexican guy stops me

I was a little shit desu lads

[Anonymous No.9742039]

[Anonymous No.9742047]

[Anonymous No.9742051]

[Anonymous No.9742117]

>>9726945
You're a fucking retard OP

[Anonymous No.9742210]

>>9732518
Holy fuck, that was a great mental image. I've done shit like this before and laughed until I cried. Got a good hearty giggle out of this post.

[Anonymous No.9742218]

>>9733090
>I have something like top 8th percentile vision and great reflexes from lifelong sports, but I always mis-see things in my peripheral and fuck things up
Happens to me all the time. I've also got fantastic reflexes. The other day, I was walking down the main section in our office and something in my periphery made me think I was about to hit my head on a low-hanging obstruction. My cat-like reflexes kicked in and I deftly dodged the non-existing head-banger, looking quite foolish in the process. Nothing to do but laugh it off.

[Anonymous No.9742239]

>>9741865
If that is what you took away from it.
Perhaps you should think about why you took only that away from what I said.
I said to get mad when you deserve to be mad, not that you should be a dick to people for no reason.
But of course, you are going to think the worst possible meaning is what was intended.
>It's almost like you want a shitty cycle to continue. You get angry at a cop and tell them to fuck themselves, they go and shoot people for being black, donald trump gets elected, and ramen noodles are made illegal after a ramen store hides a fork from a black man who never learned to use chipsticks.
What the fuck are you talking about.
Get the fuck out of here with your spurious logic.

[Anonymous No.9742407]

>be white man, member of The Great White Race
>develop proper tools for the proper job, spoon, fork, etc.
>going as far as having several sizes of them
>classy and efficient

>be chink, member of The Ching Chong Chi Ching race
>still use pre-paleolithic wooden sticks for everything like a literal down syndrome who can't add 2+2 and has no imagination, drive or creativity to improve his tools

Guess which race revolutioned every field of science and allowed us to live better than the kings of the past?

>b-bb-b-b-b-but MUH ASHUN FOODZ
Yes birry, good gaijim.

[Anonymous No.9742419]

>>9731393
>(((garfinkel)))
every time a (((coincidence)))

[Anonymous No.9742696]

>>9730056

You experience that good ol' fashion japanese hospitality called passive aggressiveness

[Anonymous No.9742742]

>>9729976
This would probably be me. I learned how to use chop sticks a long time ago but haven't had to in a long while.

[Anonymous No.9742948]

>>9742407
only good whites are the southern europeans

Nordics and celtics and slavs are unironic niggers

[Anonymous No.9742992]

>>9726099
dude what a wasteful gimmick, I love bone in steaks but what's the point of all that bone with no meat on it?
You're literally paying for boneweight.

Unless all that bone is for the doggo afterward.

[Anonymous No.9743015]

I just accidently ate uncooked stuffing.

[Anonymous No.9743057]

Honestly I don't know how to use chopsticks, I just fiddle with them in my hand until I can make a pinching motion and pick stuff up like that.

[Anonymous No.9743188]

>>9726328
>All that soy in one post

[Anonymous No.9743363]

>>9742992
You could always use it for a stock afterwards, but generally I agree. Bone-in options are only viable on an actual grill, and end up with you paying more for inedible bits. Bone-in steaks do not provide the steak with more flavor; rather, bone-in options are only effective in braises and other slow cooking methods that can actually draw out the marrow and flavors into the liquids.

[Anonymous No.9743412]

>>9743015
ew why

[Anonymous No.9743465]

>>9740168
They decided to fuck with him one day because they knew he apparently avoided the chopsticks for a reason.

[Anonymous No.9743584]

>>9727660
Thats only if you try to use the chopsticks to wrap the noodles around just grab noodles with sticks and shove in mouth its easier than a fork

[Anonymous No.9743594]

>>9729302
You do realise in Asia it's polite to slurp your noodles as loud as possible

[Anonymous No.9743611]

>>9730014
Actually you do just it's not rude to use your hands

[Anonymous No.9743678]

>>9726099
Funny. My story is the inverse of yours.
>move to gookville. Love the food, so probably eat Chinese 3 times a week. Food is great, but always given chopsticks. I hate asking for a fork, and they laugh every time. Fuck it. Eat all meals with chopsticks for two weeks. Now, when I eat gook food, I always ask for chopsticks years later.

[Anonymous No.9743679]

>>9735726
Why do you feel the need to mention this? I am also Scottish and something seems a bit off about how you start a sentence with "I'm Scottish" either you are lying or you don't realise this is a thing nearly everywhere. or am I reading too much into this

[Anonymous No.9743694]

>>9738835
Its a Chinese thing to slurp loudly
I think in Japan just everyone grabs the noodles with the chopsticks and sucks them into their mouth which would be considered slurping by westerners because when we eat noodles we wind them around a fork and put the rolled up noodles straight in our mouths

[Anonymous No.9743699]

>>9738845
Please stay in pol

[Anonymous No.9743700]

>>9742992
I thought prices were adjusted for the bone weight

[Anonymous No.9743710]

>>9743594
See:
>>9738835
Read 'em and weep weebshit

[Anonymous No.9743740]

>>9726730
about 2" away because it's a fucking tiny waffle house

[Anonymous No.9743823]

>>9742948

[Anonymous No.9744418]

>>9726328
grow a pair of balls and stop eating like a man, my friend

[Anonymous No.9744624]

>>9726357
Too real

[Anonymous No.9744933]

>>9743700
No, why would you think that?

[Anonymous No.9744987]

>>9737540
Have you ever had porkchops in a stew? The bone literally melts away.

[Anonymous No.9745158]

>>9738965
jesus christ lmao

[Anonymous No.9745272]

>>9727660
why use chopsticks when forks exist? this is a serious question. chopsticks are a hge waste of time with no rewards. you aren't impressing anybody. this knowledge won't get you anywhere.

[Anonymous No.9745275]

>>9745272
To feel """special""".

[Anonymous No.9745280]

>>9726357
What the fuck stop reading my mind you jackass

[Anonymous No.9745298]

>>9743699
t. soyboy defense force

[Anonymous No.9745360]

>>9744418
it takes balls to..stop eating like a man?

[Anonymous No.9746003]

>>9742948
Sorry you're brown brah, but romans stole weaponry designs from the Celts and the Germans. Celtic and German diets were mostly fat and protein, providing them superior height and physical fitness, this was noted in Tacitus' Germania. Romans ate a grain based diet and were basically angry (too much gluten) manlets. High cuisine started on france, celtic land with Germans in it. Greeks were racially nordic as of classical era. Same with romans (Germans, Celts, Romans and Greeks all came from the same people, indoeuropean invaders). Try not getting your history on /pol/ and research primary sources.

t. Southern European