/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

All I'm able to feel is envy sadness and anger. I can't make myself feel happy, every time I get a glimmer of self-confidence all I can do is try my hardest to be miserable again by comparing my work to someone else's or put in doubt my intellectual capacity by reminding myself how long I've been doing this without noticeable change.
I feel so alone all the time and so numb. People scare me. But their validation is all I want, and I feel like I'm not even good enough to receive it by being so mediocre and sad all the time, people don't want to waste their energies on someone who doesn't even try. I want to die and stop being so fucking annoying.