/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

I wish i can draw again without feeling extremely stressed out. I constantly get upset at my faults, hell i always believe a drawing will turn out garbage before i even lay down the first line.
I get stress out at the things I cant do or barely am able to do. I get mad at myself for taking too long or fucking up constantly when i should just get it right.
I get so angry and so spiteful towards my drawings and myself.
Then i just get extremely envious and jealous of other artists. And their usually not the top % according to this boards standards...
Watching them able to lay sketch things out so easily, come up with their own ideas, coloring, confidence in their own lines. When i watch others draw it seems almost magical. I cant understand anything at all. How did they do what they did from start to finish? I doubt i could understand.
I get so stressed out if im improving or not and i never think i have am or will. Anytime anyone said i was "good" or improving, i always thought of them as a liar trying to make me feel better.
This was the last thing i attempted to do about 2 months ago, for a friend that wanted me to draw again. I couldnt finish it because i felt so terrible about it, the anatomy is fucked so is the perspective the clothing, the legs, the hand, and so on. I cant say one single thing i find anything good about it, those issues are same in anything ive ever done...
Nowadays i get so anxious it wouldnt be far off to say i am pretty much terrified or too ashamed in myself to draw. I wish I knew what the hell to do anymore...