/jp/ - Otaku Culture

(1/3)
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I should've expected it, though a tinge of hope burned inside, thinking if I'd fake it good enough and keep doing my duties with no hiccups, she wouldn't bother. But it wasn't the case, and while preparing her for her attendance at Hana's birthday party—fortunately I managed to send Tetsu a message to not go; same for Aya… though I fear the latter hasn't received it. She's probably asleep—, Yukari-sama commented on the decay in quality of my service. I could only listen as she elaborated on each tiny mistake and problems I couldn't even fathom, deaf to it all, burning that hope it wouldn't happen.

It did happen.

"You should go unwind with Anon, Ran—doubtfully an anti-natality pill would help, so make sure to gap whatever conception might happen." Her tone was calm, but the directives ultimate. I cannot disobey my master, no matter how much acid fills my stomach and heart burns with concealed rage. The second point confuses me, but I come to the conclusion she wouldn't want to have my services hindered by pregnancy… The other was that she didn't want me to get pregnant before her.

I gulped everything down—it simply didn't matter now—and nodded to her requests, watching as she holstered her parasol on her shoulder and, through a gap, left. I could see Margatroid's residence, lit by warm lights and hear muffled, happy voices.

Alone, I stood in the darkness, sleeves together, looking at nothing.

So it has come to this…

… I hoped it'd have been an only-time thing here—a night born out of passion and the desire to defy our chains of slavery, finding true tenderness in a place of utter sickness.

But the word of the master is final, and my will was never my own, after all.

It won't remain like that, not for long.

… Still, it's agonizing how I can't use that. It's my one 'Get out of Jail card', but If I did, my cover would be blown, and Yukari would immediately know…

Chen would suffer, the plan would implode…

"43.645074, -115.993081," I repeat, scowling as I try to hide the all-consuming despair, traversing the corridors of the closed HSE. Preparations for the Solstice Festival are extensive, and overworking is a sad reality—though Yukari-sama has made a list of big benefits to all of our workers carrying decorations, preparing foods, building attractions, and keeping the war machine that was the propaganda department pumping news and pamphlets.

Plans for our two rather… Massive… guests were also being made, for much of Kasen-sama's anger and Son Biten's overjoy.

I get to the door, eyes empty, tails bushy, opening the complex magical locks without looking and entering, taking the longest possible before arriving… arriving nevertheless, to the dismay of my thundering heart and burning heat in-between my legs. Inside, snow has buried most of Kazami's garden, a tiny grave by the Torii gate tended to and cleaned, a small brioche hat embroidered with a tiny spider on the upmost top stone, as if to keep it warm.

The sky is clear, the moon shines brightly; the stars shine brighter. It's a beautiful sight, tainted by circumstances.

Footsteps are to my side, and someone special watches the light with me…

He holds a mug of tea for me. Dolly sits on his shoulder, dressed in the cutest knitted clothes. I take a mouthful of warm tea, and it tastes and feels like home.

I want to cry, ears down.

Anon watches, frowning, then a spark of understanding. He sighs. "Dolly, could you—pretty please—go inside for a bit? I want to talk to Ran alone." Dolly stares, puzzled, drinking from the steaming tea inside her thimble-sized cup. "About adult things." The doll looks between us and gestures in sympathy, cuddling with his face and one of my drooped ears, then going inside, waving. Anon waves back with a smile, which fades to a small thing when the doll has disappeared from view. "… You stopped visiting me recently; I had a hunch—it's happening, isn't it?"

A single tear streamed as I looked at him and nodded.

He smiles, and it's soft. "You know I'll never blame you, right?"

"I'll blame myself…"

"You'd blame the way you were born?" He asks, smirking, before tenderly caressing one of my ears, and I lean on his hand. "I know what it is like to have my will stripped; it's been happening through my entire life—is there a way to fight against it?"

It hurts. It really does. "Yes…"

He stops, tense, but realization soon comes, heart-wrenching pity tainting his smile as he sighs. "… Yukari would know everything, wouldn't she? Chen would be harmed."

I nod.

I can’t stand it anymore.

"I hate everything here, Anon! I do… I want it to end, to be destroyed!" One tear turns into two, two into many, and many into ugly sobbing. Arms are around me and I hold onto him as my only salvation, heart throbbing with the pain. "I want to stop it, destroy it, but if I attempt it… Our Chen…"

"We protect her first." His pain turns into determination, iron like a sharp sword, hug powerful.

In his arms, I feel safe. I break down crying.