/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>22655331
>I noticed that, it's very handy. I'm liking it so far, You're a little scant on introductions. This is fine, I guess I'm just too used to being spoonfed who people are and what they're about.
What goes in my head when it comes to explaining things is that if I can explain it in later chapters, I'll save up on words and keep things going. That, or there isn't much to tell in the first place.

Valerian and Catherine aren't meant to have much backstory, what's important is what they do throughout the story. Even the paladin failing to kill the lilim at the last second turns into a pretty important plotpoint later on, since that little detail can't really go unexplained, but since this is MGE and a paladin who's a second main character fails to kill the lilim main character, you can get an idea as to why it (didn't) happened. But since it's already in the original story, the spoilers is that he fell in love with her from the bottom of his heart rather than lilim charm to the point he couldn't kill her, and it starts eating him inside out due to the internal conflict of condemning his nation to oblivion for not getting rid of the one that's now aiming to turn his whole nation into a demon realm out of vengeance. This, despite everyone having depended on him. I'm even writing right now a nightmare he gets of Dirk's skeleton in armor calling him a traitor for it.

And yeah there might be a lot of names but I try to introduce them early on to keep them going in the story. I've never been a fan of the whole "This character is named but he has no bearing on the story whatsoever, he just has a name to make it feel important then never shows up again" way of writing that's even more egregious in stories where lots of characters die and you stop caring who is who anymore.

I hope you enjoy the story!

>>22422117
Lilims are olev!!

Give me lim butt or give me death

>>22069015
>Only good named lilim
Excuse you

>>21736958
I can't, nobody is better than Viccy.

All's Fair in Love and War rewrite, chapter 5. 3k words of Victoria's rollercoaster of suffering.

https://pastebin.com/YnwZs3ex
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ueTDZS7mLXa40dHNCemQC8X4GYKiZwOrkn7Za5fwL7s/edit?usp=sharing

>>21697588
Do what you want. Writing isn't only about hitting your keyboard. Make up new scenarios, refine old ones, think of character interactions, proofread and edit what you already have, etc etc.

Elo. I was dumb and posted it at page 10.

All's Fair in Love and War rewrite, chapter 4. 2.6k words.
https://pastebin.com/C5xE0c8N
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OrLom3dv8crDkEjMRcCQ5qbWZKDCW6Kp6S58tWgEB80/edit?usp=sharing

Elo. All's Fair in Love and War rewrite, chapter 4. 2.6k words.
https://pastebin.com/C5xE0c8N
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OrLom3dv8crDkEjMRcCQ5qbWZKDCW6Kp6S58tWgEB80/edit?usp=sharing

>>21638884
Convert

What up. All's Fair in Love and War's rewrite, chapter 2.

https://pastebin.com/TBgRqM7g
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1e57uRLBkPl8vvqCciiGpJV1u58ARkv4FZQ6Q5U5KFRA/edit?usp=sharing

I'm confident that the way smaller size of chapters makes it more readable on a bit by bit basis, rather than having a 10k word chapter thrown at one's face from the start. Also adding an index and a chapter link to previous and next of each at the end of the g-doc version for accessibility. From the outline it looks like it'll end up with far more chapters than the original due to making each smaller.

>>21071950
Spade

>>20927016
Trying to pick up the pace with a commission and personal stuff. I'm around 4k words done with a commission concerning a bicorn that I'll post here when done, and also working out the last chapter of Derrota's story not counting the epilogue. I want to believe I'll be done with it soon, though with uni starting soon, I'm not really sure anymore.

Other than that, revisiting Victoria's story is still in mind, as there are many things that need to be rewritten now that I've improved.

>>20665929
>>20666045
Heard you were talking shit

>>20404425
delet this

The day of reckoning is coming