/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>Love ushi-onis so much I get a mana marker for one the instant I hit puberty
>No ushi-onis are nowhere to be found whether above or below me in grade
>Not even an ushi-oni that goes to another school
>Decide I'll probably find one in college
>After countless panty raids into the arachnid dorm I don't find a hint of black web
>Even pay a rata with nudes of my friends to just tell me there isn't one
>Decide I'll just find one once I get a job in the city
>Even build my dream home in the suburbs with extra wide doors, hallways, bathrooms and an almost cavern like basement for her
>Still don't find an ushi-oni and decide to start online dating
>Only profiles I can find are un-updated 10 year old profiles on OkEros
>Hope they just gave up on that site and are still single, look up their names but all their social medias come up with the married tag
>Some have daughterus but I'm not robbing the cradle and going through the trouble of getting a Sabbath membership
>Begin losing hope and slowly accept wizardom till I hear from a hikefag coworker that he's seen black webbing in the forest
>Ask him for the hiking trail as I'm thinking of getting into and need to know to avoid it
>Hikefag buys it like a tanuki buys low stocks and tells me it
>Instantly request time off of work and drive out there while changing into my gym clothes
>Takes hours but I eventually find signs of an ushi-oni
>Broken trees, stones with slash marks on them, and black webbing
>Follow trail of destruction and find cave coated in black more than a mailman in a hellhound porno
>Wonder how I should act
>The scared lost wanderer
>The thrill seeking adventurer
>The guy out her on a dare
>Decide on option two and stroll in there like I own the place
>Hear skittering behind me as I take a trust fall right into her bosom
>"Ara~ ara~ aren't you brave for a man, walking into a lonely monster's cave, don't you know what monsters to lost men like you?"
>Manage to escape her massive breasts just for long enough so I can be facing her
>Grab her by the horns and pull her down for a kiss
>Feels like it lasts an eternity as she's left breathless as much as I am
>Ask her why she doesn't show me and tear off her seal with my teeth
>Best way to describe what happens next as instant loss2koma