/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>Playing with spider girl next door
>She bites me by accident
>Think I'll get cool powers like Spider-Man
>Spider girl is crying apologizing
>Instead of powers all I got is a boner

>>35749142
>tfw no one is marrying the mobs

>>22204918
>You don't have any objections to her promise to protect you
>Somewhat confused but still determined to show you she really means it she ties you up
>Spends hours cuddling and edging you, all while she constantly whispers sweet nothings into your ear
>Almost calls you prey a couple of times, but always catches herself and calls you husband instead
>When it comes to the main course you surprise her with your endurance and give her a run for her money
>But that could be more thanks to her venom
>Morning rolls around and you manage to free yourself from her webbing and wake her with a good morning kiss
>She probably isn't used to woken by her prey like that
>Angrily she demands to know how you escaped from her webbing
>You show her a pair of surprisingly sharp safety scissors you had in your drawer for just such an occasion
>Offer to cook her breakfast, in turn she tries to persuade you into letting her get a fresh breakfast for you
>As much as you'd enjoy watching how an arachne manages to hunt in a residential area you shoot down her offer
>As you get the eggs, bacon, and pancake batter ready your waifu watches eagerly
>Seemingly worried that you'd somehow injure yourself while mixing water and bisquick
>While trying to turn on the stove the igniter decides to stop working so you get out your lighter
>You forgot to let the gas dissipate so a huge plume of flame shoots up sending your waifu into panic mode
>She wraps you up into a pre-made cocoon and gently lays you on your couch
>Tells you to let her worry about cooking while you stay put
>Puts on monster girl sesame street
>This episode they bring out officer hellhound who says all the consent you need is your love for him
>During this you can smell as she starts burning everything and when brings it out to you it looks like someone dropped a couple of hockey pucks onto a plate
>Can't bring yourself to disappoint her so you try a bite, then proceed to disappoint her
>Don't call her cooking bad but from from the pieces of charcoal you're spitting out she can infer enough from that
>Runs into the bedroom crying about how she failed you and is a terrible wife
>Try to console her before she runs into the bed room leaving you alone to watch education television

What's the best way to cheer up a waifu? besides sex

What is she crying about?