/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>35172986
>>35172995
>Elden ring, elden ring!
>These anons, they waste their time on useless things!
>How about you make a wedding ring happen!

>So the Outsider was there as he could be found, traveling around with all the Mythril on the Elf Kings armor, and the armor of all his guards and all his attendants on his bag.
>How he had won it all on an archery competition with the Elf King without a single arrow, and then escaped by lashing a rope to a strange bird and hanging from it is a story for another day.
>But as he was trudging by, the Outsider was encountered by one of this world´s most mysterious creatures.
>A woman! Yes! Also a Lilim! Druella, the Fourth Daughter of the Maou was there, on the road, as the Outsider traveled by. And she called on to him.
<"Young man, where are you taking all the relic armor from the Elf King to?" She asked.
>"Why, back to my world for study and reverse engineering!" He responded.
>This made her very worried, as the question of where would world hopping be made first: A world without internal sewage, or a world with quantum computers has been postulated to her kind, and they had bet wrong.
>So she decided to seduce him, and steal his secrets.
<"Oh, Outsider, forget those old rusty armors. Come to me, and I shall fullfill your deepest fantasies! I can smell you are a Virgin, I shall make all of your sexual desires true!" She offered.
>"Oh? Then give me a glass of ice cold Coke and Rum."
>The Lilim was more than confused with this.
>"I have been told sex is pretty great and all, but have you ever had a glass of ice cold Coke?" The Outsider said. "I´ll show you."
>There was no way a glass of "Coke" and Rum was better than sex, the Lilim thought. No way either for the outsider to give her an ice cold glass of nothing on this road without the ice melting.
>So the Lilim let the Ousider go on the road undisturbed, on the condition that he brought her this novel drink before the day was done, or all the Hellhounds of the realm would know his scent before the night was done, to pursue him and bring him to her.
>The Outsider left, and later that day returned on a very heavy and strange carriage. It had no horses, so it moved very . And from that carriage, he produced a white box, on which more than a shovel of ice had probably be poured in, along with a single glass with a black draught.
<"Very well, I shall drink. But how can I know this is not poison?" The Lilim asked.
>"I´ll take a sip first. Then, you may gulp it all down." Was the answer she got.
<"An indirect kiss!? Such degeneracy!"
>Still, the Outsider took a sip of the draught, and passed the drink over to Druella. After she waved hand signs to the glass and came up with nothing, she took the glass to her lips and took the whole drink with a huge gulp.
>The effect was inmediate, as she plopped to the ground and began to vibrate on a massive sugar rush. No poison had been neccesary, as a Coke had more sugar on it than the stomach of a middle age era individual could handle, and alcohol better refined than anyone could think possible didnt help either.
>The Outsider smiled, and climbed inside his carriage. It pointed himself at the sun, and chased it so fast flames sprouted at the tracks of its wheels.
>The Lilim did, eventually, after digesting all the sugar, make all the Hellhounds of the Realm memorize the scent of the spot he stood on, and made them pursue to the ends of the Realm, wherever he appeared next, but the story of how he evaded them, changing scent every day, is better told another day

>So the Outsider was there as he could be found, traveling around with all the Mythril on the Elf Kings armor, and the armor of all his guards and all his attendants on his bag.
>How he had won it all on an archery competition with the Elf King without a single arrow, and then escaped by lashing a rope to a strange bird and hanging from it is a story for another day.
>But as he was trudging by, the Outsider was encountered by one of this world´s most mysterious creatures.
>A woman! Yes! Also a Lilim! Druella, the Fourth Daughter of the Maou was there, on the road, as the Outsider traveled by. And she called on to him.
<"Young man, where are you taking all the relic armor from the Elf King to?" She asked.
>"Why, back to my world for study and reverse engineering!" He responded.
>This made her very worried, as the question of where would world hopping be made first: A world without internal sewage, or a world with quantum computers has been postulated to her kind, and they had bet wrong.
>So she decided to seduce him, and steal his secrets.
<"Oh, Outsider, forget those old rusty armors. Come to me, and I shall fullfill your deepest fantasies! I can smell you are a Virgin, I shall make all of your sexual desires true!" She offered.
>"Oh? Then give me a glass of ice cold Coke and Rum."
>The Lilim was more than confused with this.
>"I have been told sex is pretty great and all, but have you ever had a glass of ice cold Coke?" The Outsider said. "I´ll show you."
>There was no way a glass of "Coke" and Rum was better than sex, the Lilim thought. No way either for the outsider to give her an ice cold glass of nothing on this road without the ice melting.
>So the Lilim let the Ousider go on the road undisturbed, on the condition that he brought her this novel drink before the day was done, or all the Hellhounds of the realm would know his scent before the night was done, to pursue him and bring him to her.
>The Outsider left, and later that day returned on a very heavy and strange carriage. It had no horses, so it moved very . And from that carriage, he produced a white box, on which more than a shovel of ice had probably be poured in, along with a single glass with a black draught.
<"Very well, I shall drink. But how can I know this is not poison?" The Lilim asked.
>"I´ll take a sip first. Then, you may gulp it all down." Was the answer she got.
<"An indirect kiss!? Such degeneracy!"
>Still, the Outsider took a sip of the draught, and passed the drink over to Druella. After she waved hand signs to the glass and came up with nothing, she took the glass to her lips and took the whole drink with a huge gulp.
>The effect was inmediate, as she plopped to the ground and began to vibrate on a massive sugar rush. No poison had been neccesary, as a Coke had more sugar on it than the stomach of a middle age era individual could handle, and alcohol better refined than anyone could think possible didnt help either.
>The Outsider smiled, and climbed inside his carriage. It pointed himself at the sun, and chased it so fast flames sprouted at the tracks of its wheels.
>The Lilim did, eventually, after digesting all the sugar, make all the Hellhounds of the Realm memorize the scent of the spot he stood on, and made them pursue to the ends of the Realm, wherever he appeared next, but the story of how he evaded them, changing scent every day, is better told another day

>>34378605
TV in other realms isn't much better
and wait till you see Order TV

>>33915365
Druella`s corner, where she takes 30 minutes every day to shit talk about Random Order Paladins, the monsters she has sent to slay them, and the lurid details of each and every fetish those monsters shall visit upon them.

>tfw ywn get invited to lilithTV as the spokesman for men's rights