/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I don't get that from my parents because I'm a university student at the moment. They do ask me how school's going all the time though... and I have to flat out lie and tell them it's going fine and I'm doing ok. The truth is I'm pretty much failing (definitely not getting the grades required for these classes to count for my major at least) because I fucking suck.

This compounds with the fact that I took the previous year off of school because I was struggling and having panic attacks and couldn't handle how depressed college in general makes me, coupled with the amount of works. After seeing a doctor (according to whom I'm an aspie, lol!), changing my major entirely, and actually having a real job for half the time (full fledged neet-hood the other half: living the dream)... I was supposed to have my shit together.

Now that this is happening, I think my previous goals were over-estimates for myself and have no clue what to do with my pathetic ass. Continuing in Engineering seems to no longer be an option (I'm not stupid, but I fucking suck at school).... And no, my parents know none of this yet, and that's because I barely even know what to tell myself about it all. My history with depression isn't helping, because I think of suicide as the only way to get out of this mess daily. I truly wish I could just be escapist forever.

oh god why did it have to be C