/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>40633690
Nothing a quick trip to dr.lich can't fix

>>39230711
Don't cry for me, I'm already an undead incubus

>>39070918
Use paralysis magic to make her do funny poses and post them on the internet

I love liches!

>>35257942
Better get a smart wife.

>Lich's husband chilling out
>Lich enters the room and walks up to him
>"Would you like to blast my shithole with your dick mayonnaise?"
>Patiently observes her husband splutter and gag for several seconds
>Before he can articulate a response she says "Interesting" and walks out
>Pulls out her big notebook with all her experiment notes
>Goes to the page labeled 'Husband's Turn-Off Words' and writes 'blast' at the bottom of the list

>>26086768
That would be nice if it happened once in a while. I have a soft spot for debbie downer characters showing warmth over special moments
Probably inspired by Raven from watching Teen Titans as a wee infant. Although I'm not a naturally happy person in general so I gravitate towards more outgoing personalities, maybe it's a case of opposites attract idk

Modern lich.

>>22523057
But you are old enough to live with a cute undead girl!

>>22070570
Welcome to women I guess. It actually is starting to disturb me how much easier it is to fantasize over mamano then try and work to get a rl relationship

It feels weird for me to imagine monstergirls speaking in my native language, I'm too used to reading about them in English. It doesn't help that dirty talk in my language sounds silly to me.

>tfw no Igor to help you rob graves
Would you commit every foul deed for her sake?

>>21194585
I love strong, powerful girls. I also love cute kuu-dere girls.

Quick! Counteract the cancer by posting images!

What are some mundane things that would be way more fun with monster girls?
>playing tabletop war games with your nerdy lich gf
>her magic makes the figures come to life, acting on your commands
>firing magic bullets, hacking up the enemy with melee weapons, tanks exploding, aircraft falling from the sky
>at the end, the bits reassemble themselves good as new

>>19899157
I dunno, that lich looks pretty soft to me.

>>19615762
She didn't start gaining the pounds until that one time I declined her offer to hang out in her personal dimension. Shes been real pissy since then too.

>>19608153
What about big, open front hoodies?

Someone needs to tell Liches that they have to wear proper clothing.

>>18173071
>Bonedude is a Lich
Really jogs the cogs.

That time of the night again.

>>18024920
Sorry, but I have to give money to some very important research
>be at a seminar your lich wife is presenting at, looking for funding
>"Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to start by introducing Mr. Anon."
>some average looking dude strolls on stage
>"And the succubus looking to court him."
>a feral looking succubus is carted out in a cage
>"ANON, I LOVE YOU! GET OVER HER AND FUCK MY BRAINS OUT BEFORE I RAPE YOU INTO THE GROUND!"
>Anon was cleaning out his ears, so he didn't hear a word
>"Anon is completely oblivious to her every attempt to seduce him, his density rivaling any material known to man. Your initial thought is probably 'why hasn't she just raped him yet?' Please observe"
>she presses a button that causes the cage to open, and everyone recoils at the imminent pelviseration
>the succubus charges Anon only to slam into an invisible wall six inches away from him
>"As you can see, Anon's mental density has formed a solid psychic barrier around him that only allows inanimate objects or those not attracted to him, like myself, through."
>"HANDS OFF MY MEAT, WHORE!"
"At current we don't know why this happens, but with your support, we might be able to help those suffering from the effects of density like this poor soul."
>the succubus has sunk to her knees, smushing her face against the barrier, crying as she repeats "Anon's cock, Anon's cock, Anon's cock," over and over

>sitting on the couch watching tv when your lich gf walks in
>"Anon, I shall be down in the basement conducting experiments. I do not wish to be disturbed.
>"Alright, have fun."
>"...Very well, then. I shall go begin my dangerous, yet highly fascinating tests."
>"Be careful."
>"...It's unfortunate that I have yet to perfect that potion that would give me extra arms to help me hurry things along, but I suppose I can make do on my own."
>"...Do you want me to help you with your experiments?"
>as soon as you finish that sentence, she zaps you with a beam of magic that poofs a lab coat on you
>"If you must insist on assisting me, I suppose I could allow you to support my research."
>sometimes you wish she'd just be honest

>>17045724
There's science to be done
So you can make a neat gun
For the people who are still alive
Still alive