/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>12766645
>Using classic "this is bait" lines to hide the fact that you are indeed stirring trouble
Not him, but naw.

>>12759031
>Some French nougats straight from Montelimar
>The finest bath salts and mud from the Dead Sea
>The Shed Shredder XL for her cobra
>And a full outdoor security system kit
>Maybe throw in the Jeweled Branch of Horai for good measure

>The last item is a kiss from the young butler who delivers her gifts as Santa for her every year

>>12734388
But where is Anon going to get a coffin big and durable enough like that?

Oh! I know! The Pharaoh from down the street has a big sarcophagus! It's even big enough for two people. Maybe you could ask her for help.

Would you a Pharaoh who had a "Damsel in Distress" fetish?
>>12702469

>You wake up one afternoon, still feeling sick from that fever you caught after trying to run all the way home in the rain a few days back
>Your mother woke you up, telling you that some friends from school came to see you
>You feel some relief, thinking your buddies have come to make sure you’re well
>Maybe provide some of those magazines while they’re at it
>You sit up, ready to welcome the guys into your humble abode
>Until you hear, “Anon? Are you here?”
>From the voice of your friend Petra
>And she's brought friends with her
>An Anubis, a Kikimora, and an Alraune--all dressed in rather formal attire
>Oh dear
>"Anon! I heard you were sick, and I came to see you."
"Ah, thank you," you tell her. "But who are..." you say, gesturing to the three girls behind her
>"Oh, these are my friends."
>They look more like servants to you, to be honest
"It's good to meet you all. Sorry I'm not in--" you begin to say, interrupted by another coughing fit
>"Shall I prepare some tea for the boy, my Lady?" asks the Alraune
>"Yes, please do, Rosemary."
>The Alraune takes her leave
"Please, you don't have to do that."
>"No, Anon," says Petra. "I came all this way because I heard you had a fever. Please, let me help you get better, okay?"
>You couldn't very well say no to the face she was making
>That kind look of concern she's giving you
>You give her a small smile and accept her help
>"Anne, will you please help me with preparing dinner," Petra asks the Anubis, who you only now notice is carrying a grocery bag in each hand
>"Yes, my Lady."
>"Mercedes, please keep Anon company, will you?"
>"Yes, my Lady."
>And so, Petra heads back downstairs with her servant
>Leaving you and the Kikimora together
>She just sort of looks at you, smiling, eyes closed
>You notice she too is holding a small bag in her hands
>With what appear to be--
>...Seriously?
>"Ufufu~...Lady Petra did say she was seeing a boy today. I thought you would want these to keep you company."
>Of course...they're magazines

>Go to school, sulking at your desk looking at your recently-graded test
>"What's the matter, Anon?"
"I got a 40 on my test! Father told me he'll cut my allowance if I keep getting grades like this."
>"Oh...I see."
"At this rate, I'll never be able to buy that console I've been wanting!"
>"Oh? How much is it?"
"I dunno, like, $500?"
>"Really! They're that cheap!?" she says in amazement
>Huh?
>"Wow, I have a toothbrush that's about $4,000."
>What
>"Maybe I should look into getting one of these 'consoles,'" she says so innocently
>You put down the test you had in your hand, looking her in the eye, deadpan
>You know she didn't mean to hurt your feelings
>And yet...
"You know...Petra," you begin
>"Eh?" She looks at you curiously
"Sometimes, you say some really awful things."
>Her eyes open wide in confusion
>Flustered, she squirms where she stands as she struggles to respond
>"W-Wait, I...what did I say? I didn't...If it makes you feel better, I can buy it for you. Come on!"
>Just another ordinary day with Petra, one could suppose
>She irritates the hell out of you sometimes, but no matter how you look at it, she seems kind of cute

>>12675517
>The entire dinner, your boss is staring at you with a gaze that makes you avert your eyes every time you see them
>Goddamn, if looks could kill...
>"I'm so happy you could come by, Anon," your girlfriend says
"Yeah, that's...yeah," you squeak out, sweating like an animal
>He's still staring at you
"Um, uh," you begin so eloquently, "So, Mr. Haman...What is it you...do?"
>"I oversee human-monster relations calls," he replies, with a somewhat polite tone in his voice
>Maybe he's actually mildly okay with it
>"But there's this one shithead there, an employee of mine...My god, is he really fucking me over, you know?"
>He's not okay with it.
>"I mean, I'll tell you," he says, looking into your eyes, "When I get my hands on him..."
>"Honey," his wife interjects, "You're being rude. Not at the table."
>"What the matter, darling, you look like you've seen a ghost," your girlfriend says, looking at you with concern
"I--well...you know...Is there a bathroom around? Please?"

Your Pharaoh friend invites you to her home, and you two hang out together.

Eventually, the conversation veers to the sarcophagus she sleeps in, and invites you to take a good look inside to see the gold lining.

Would you?

So I had this idea rolling around for a while, and I sort of went with it. It's definitely a different writing style than I'm used to, but nonetheless, enjoy.
At least, I hope you do.

http://pastebin.com/ytpF3xck

>>12645246
I would lick her feet until they were squeaky clean.
Until her feet weren't delicious brown anymore.

>>12545162
Ohohoho! Look at this commoner, he worships a cow!

I'm just going to throw it out there, but Pharaoh would be so much more likeable if KC wrote so that, instead of being a Mary Sue who can make anybody do what she wanted, she was proficient in sun magic.

Speaking of, Pharaoh in a JoJo outfit when?

>>12461987
Did someone call for Delicious Brown?