/jp/ - Otaku Culture

They call that an escort service.

I do this for free.

>>11701798
But one specifically for otaku.

These threads always seem silly when you realize /jp/sies are spread across the world.

Just use the /jp/ Zeemaps and stop shitting up the board.

Sounds awful, I'd pay for a cosplayfuck and for you to get out of my sight after.

>>11701810
Are you sure you want to go through with that?

>>11701817
She's just some /cgl/ literal whore.

I just want to be a cute anime girl and have a cute anime relationship for a day. Is that so much to ask?

>>11701785

You are literally from cgl.

I wouldn't mind a friend. Just someone to talk to while I sit on my bed and do my thing. I guess you would sit on the opposite end and do your thing and we'd have a chat.
That sounds fun, it's like being alone but with a friend.

We could play with my cat too.

>>11701980
What if it's Milk guys?

>>11702003
Then doubly so.

Craigslist beat you to it.

Why would I pay a girl to hang out with me and pretend to be interested in my hobbies? If I wante that, I would just get a girlfriend.

>>11701785
That is really homo, dude.

>>11701785
Is this you, OP?

http://boston.craigslist.org/sob/w4m/4241350905.html

>>11702285
plz be milk

>>11702347
Its from boston craigslist.

So I just came back into my room after putting dinner in the oven, and what do I see outside of my window? A cute girl on a bike riding on the sidewalk in front of my room. All of the sudden she looks to the porch area of my house and pulls in off the sidewalk, onto the pathway towards the porch. By now I can see that she's wearing a shirt with a cat on it. She puts down the bike and walks up further, slowly, with her hand out and slightly crouched, and looking downwards, as if something were there. That's when I see my cat walk up to her and lets her pet him. She petted the cat for about a minute and then left, and then I stopped watching and came to make this post.

I'm so happy that my cat made her day a little bit better. I hope she comes back to pet him more often. She was really cute too.

>>11702350
she used to live in that area right?

>>11702358
Why would you leave the poor thing outside? Is it an inside/outside cat?

>>11702372
Outdoor only, why?

I have an outdoor cat. She's feral, but I feed her and made a box with blankets under my porch and she sleeps there.

Speaking of little girls, have you considered doing any sort of present giving for a poor little girl, /jp/? I should have paid attention to the commercial when I saw it, because I think that'd be a really nice thing to do for her.

>>11702430
What will they do for me?

>>11702356
I don't know, as far as I knew it was only Conneticut and California. Any milk otaku here to clear this up?

>>11702435
I don't know if you physically give them the present or not, but at the very least she'd smile because of you, even if you weren't able to see it.

>>11701785
Not interested in men dude

>>11702440
You donate toys, then the poor kids go to these poor conventions and get toys and winter coats and food. It's really nice.

>>11702448
The girls are cute, right? Poor girls are cute, right? Poor girls are dirty, right? Do you think she smells strongly?

>>11702450
They're cute and really sweet.

>>11701785
I'd do it if I lived anywhere near you. Not the cosplay, just baking and talking I guess

Why do women think they should be paid for this? It's just arrogance.

>>11702477
They're whores, well not every woman is a whore, but this one is a legit whore.

Maybe if you're really damn cheap.

If I wanted a girl like that, I'd just get a loli girlfriend. She'll always be curious and into whatever you're doing and will love you and tell you often. She'll also wear whatever you tell her to, and will cuddle to watch a movie without a second thought. Best of all, she'll also (try to) cook you a nice (slightly burnt) meal. She may not call you "sweetie", but she'll speak casually with you as if you were a loli yourself. That's good enough for me.

I want a loli girlfriend.

>>11702484
Lolis change their mind about what they're into every week. They have no sense of responsibility or loyalty.

prostitution is illegal

>>11702494
Every week would be a different adventure!

>>11702502
For them. Not for you.

>>11702507
But you can share their joy.

>>11702494
>They have no sense of responsibility or loyalty.

I've always found that a loli will treat you as you treat her.

>>11702509
Okay. Enjoy being in loli friend-zone while she bitches about everything to you all the time (experienced this with a 12-14 year old girl when I was 18).

>>11702518
What are you talking about? 12-14 isn't loli at all.

>>11702518
No one said anything about teenagers.

>>11702525
Well 12-14 year olds should still be cute and innocent when you think about it.

Even 8 year old girls these days are probably obsessed with whorish pop music and celebrity culture.

>>11702540
Maybe if it was the 1800's. 14 year olds haven't been cute and innocent in a long time.

>>11702540
I've been around a ton of 12 and 13 year olds and they're far from cute or innocent. Cuteness tends to stop around 10 years old.

>>11702564
I don't find actual young children cute in the same way that babies and toddlers bother me. Physically or otherwise.

>>11702435
They'll smile and be really cute and cuddly and it makes you feel all warm inside. You like to feel the warmth deep inside you, right anon?

>>11702603
If I give a poor loli a gift will she hug me?

>>11702616
You don't give them gift directly, you just donate the gift and they get it later.

>>11702619
If I give a loli a stuffed animal, do you think she'll hug it? It'd kind of be like she's hugging me then, right?

>>11702430
I wanted to do this a few months back when a family in the US lost their house (and everything in it, clothes etc.) to an arsonist with a vendetta against them. I wouldn't have really cared if I didn't find out that the couple had a really cute little girl who'd just lost all of her childhood toys and shit.

I wanted to send them my niece's toys that she doesn't play with anymore (my niece was a really spoilt selfish only child at the time anyway). I couldn't do it though because the international shipping expenses just to send the toys from where I am in the world would've cost more than the toys themselves, and I didn't trust the parents enough to just send them money directly - I wasn't confident that they'd spend it firstly on the girl.

I wasn't sure what the feud was about, but I'm sure as shit that the kid didn't need to be involved. 3D moe hurts my heart.

>>11702624
By the transitive property, yes.

>>11701785

http://www.vice.com/de/the-vice-guide-to-travel/the-japanese-love-industry/

Go to tokyo and becomes a cuddle prostitute.

>>11702484
Or you go to a poor country and get yourself a filipina or thai. Age doesn't even matter, but she will agree to come with you and become a wife in a non-shit country.

>>11702716
The closest poor country to me is Mexico, and I don't want to go there because I don't want to get beheaded.

A few years ago while on vacation there I could have sworn I saw a child prostitute, though. She was just sitting at the corner. Poor girl, having to sell her body to support her family. I wonder how much she gets paid.

>>11702737
Look at dating sites, there are some that are for asian girls. Get to know some, then save monies for a fly over and take her with you.

>>11702771
I can barely save enough money to get a couple of onaholes per year. There's no way I'm going to save up enough to get a plane ticket to the other side of the world.

>>11702793
Then mexico. A cute latina gf is pretty nice too!

>>11701785
>wanting to be a sugar daddy
>2013
you are a slut and I'm going to post a picture of sluts laughing at you

>>11702827
Why go through all the effort when I can get a loli girlfriend for much easier, and for a much lower price?

>>11702835
Explain your plan on getting a child in your house.

>>11702837
Who are you quoting?

>>11702839
Just like getting any other person into my house, except this person is a cute little girl.

>>11702842
But in most cases these little girls have parents that are probably don't agree if their child wants to live with a guy that spends his money on onaholes.

>>11702852
Little girls tend to love to keep secrets, don't they? Nobody has to know that she's coming over.

>>11702860
You are literally saying things a pedophile rapist child molestor would say.
I'm worried about you

>>11702860
You need a Misaki. Good luck on your journey.

>>11702860
>girls
>keep secrets
nope

>>11702864
there's nothing wrong with pedophilia

>>11702864
Nice literally meme.

>>11702864
Don't discriminate against pedosexuals. Thanks.

>>11702877

Are there any countries where being a pedo is legal? And I mean real countries, not some nigger states where children marry.

>>11702864
They're coming out all weird sounding, I swear. I'm not a rapist or anything! Because some things are not allowed by society, some things need to be kept secret! That's all!

>>11702876
nice "shitposting" meme

>>11702864
>pedophile rapist

Is this... A rapist who rapes pedophiles, or a pedophile who rapes?

>>11702877
Just South America and its only livable if you have cartel money.

>>11702877
>wanting to legally be a pedo
>in a non-nigger state
can't have it both ways

>>11702880
why do muslims have such good taste?

>>11702886
one of Mohammed's wives was 6

>>11702358
>She puts down the bike and walks up further, slowly, with her hand out and slightly crouched, and looking downwards, as if something were there. That's when I see my cat walk up to her and lets her pet him.

>>11702634
>By the transitive property, yes.

So if you pet your cat now, does that mean you're touching her hand (by transitive property)?

>>11702886
cute!

>>11702860
Lolis do love secrets but it doesn't guarantee that they keep it, they'll probably boast about having a grown-up boyfriend. They like to think they're clever and mature.

>>11702884
A man that rapes pedophile children rapists.

>>11702892
Yes, but be carful, transitive property is a double edged sword.

>>11702897
Wait, how can a child be a rapist, let alone a pedophile?

is this the child rape thread

>>11702903
yes. welcome. we're just about to get to the "morality" and "laws" part.

>>11702860
Oh, I swear to god the most humiliating day in my life was when my little sister revealed a secret to my dad... I was so butthurt I would treat her badly... Never, ever trust little girls to keep secrets...

However, I regret my behavior, now I hardly talk to her, and she treats me coldly as if I was an unwanted life in my own house... (I pay the bill, my parents are retired).

If you really want to, just adopt a girl from a poor country, I may do so in the future after I kick my sister out of the house.

>>11702903

>>11702906
I don't know. It's a ~mystery~

>>11702909
You really need to work on your postin style, n00b.

How can I get a loli to hug me?

>>11702987
become a mall santa
that would mean getting a job though. ha.

>>11702987
Go to med school and become a pediatrician.

>>11702998
I'm not fat to be a mall Santa.

>>11702995
sounds hard

>>11702987
Relatives, nieces mainly.

>>11702995
Then you can be just like Domon Kasshu!

>>11703014
Exactly how, though?

>>11702998
I really enjoy your efforts to go into the archive and get old /jp/ pictures only to post them out of context just to try and fit in.

>>11703025
hug them, typically they'll hug back unless they're distracted or distraught. you can also just outright demand that they do so (in a really nice voice), "aw, give Uncle Anon a hug".

>>11703028
I really enjoy your efforts to be a total faggot.
you're really convincing.
>>11703012
You don't have to be! that's what the padding is for! You just have to be a good actor.

>>11703060
Will this work if I am not related to them?

>>11703077
Yes.

>>11703077
no, it rarely even works if you are related to them.

>>11703093
If I'm not related, then how friendly with a loli do I need to be to hug her?

>>11703100
You need to grind a lot of reputation until you reach friendly, man.

>>11703104
How friendly?

>>11703104
>reach friendly
Which probably will never happen with his current stats, even when considering the possible overloads.

>>11703114
about friendly enough to hug them, give or take a few friendpoints.

>>11703121
god damnit you son of a bitch

Would anyone be interested in a service where I loan out my loli girlfriend for dates?

>>11703130
You won't fool me again. You don't even have a loli girlfriend! You don't have a daughter either!

>>11703134
Okay, but what about my loli sister?

>>11703135
First explain what she looks like. No use making a website and going through all the trouble to avoid law enforecement if she's ugly.

>>11703135
your ERP character is not your sister.

>>11703138

>>11703145
She looks cute. Go ahead.

>>11702892
I am going to pet my cat right now.

>>11703145
the girl embedded in it has no eyes. this is really creepy, don't post that image every again dude.

>>11703145
>>11703161
For anyone that can't into backwards.

>>11703161

No, she does, they're just magnified and very dark. Look closely.

>>11703145
What have you done

>>11703145
Y̴̸͙͍̗̬̗͙͖͉̍̓̃̈ͭ̾̃̓̀o̧̧ͦ͂̊͗̂̏ͪ̏̏ͨͧ̑̓͗̿̚̚͟͏̺̲̻̱͍̗̥ȗ̈̅ͨ̓̓̀̇̉̂͐ͦ͏̸̮͙̮̲͉̝͔̥̥̯͖̩̠̰̤̬͙͝ ̶̱̖͔̳͖͇̽̎̃̔͂ͩ̂͒̐̌ͥ̾̋̋ͨ͊̈̀ͮ̕a̶̗̝̫͍̬̭̪̮̲̼̤͛ͮͨ̀̑̔̌̀ͮ̋̚͞r̆̋ͫ̈ͭ̊̋ͣ̂ͥ̉̽̃͗ͨ̔͏͘҉̖̦̭̮͠ę̛̯̱̘̯̗͓̣̍ͩ̐ͭ͗̈́̎ͩ͆̏ͮ̎̋ͥ͛ͯͬ ̛̒̀̑̎̌͐̈ͩ̍̃͑ͮ̄̋͏҉̶̦̗͕͈̻̜̗͎a̷̡̜̯̗̳̭͚̤̣͈̻̣̙͍̦ͮ̓̈́́̂ͨ̑̓̓̍ͯ͗ͮͣ̚ ̵̲̦̦̟̫̣̖̻̤̰̱̝͔̹̯̳͓̯ͥ̿̍͛̉̓ͬͦ͊̐ͧ͑̾ͬͨ̀f̴̜̙͍̟̼̤͔̖̳͐ͤ̽ͤ͊̆̇̚͘͡a̦̮̪̪̺̘̱̳̮̺͑̒̌̆̋ͮ̽͂̓͗̿̇͘͡ǧ̶̶͕̩̹̤̜͉̹͎ͩ̒͋̀ͮ́͞g̸̢̺̩̫̙͔͈͒̐͌ͬ̑̆̂̅͐̒ͤ̿̿ͭ̿ͧ̎ͣ͞o̶̷̹̼̭̭͓̔ͧͯͨ̊̏̽ͣͨͫ̌͛̈́̅ͩ̐ͦ̀̚͟t̸̢̞̙̪̟̝͕̮̩̝̳̆̓̍̍ͧͮͣ͊̐́̾͛ͪͮͩ̅̌̉͜

>>11703209
What I should have done long ago

>>11703209
>>11703229
I want to babysit two lolis.

>>11703273
I want to sit on those babies.

>>11703277
Babies are pretty gross dude, worse than an annoying, badly parented 3D loli.

>>11703280
Baby girls are especially gross. I've heard poop goes in their vaginas and you need to scrape it out with your finger. That's gross!

>>11703285
What a shitty situation for her, but she was really shitting the bed by doing so.

>>11703285
that's what the hymen is for
and that's really only a problem because of diapers.

>>11703229
>>11703209
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TYFUqBag88

Whenever I watch this, I feel a strong yearning for something. Something I could have had in the past. It makes me want to find some lolis and do the things in the movie with them.

Do you feel the same, /jp/?

>>11703292
I was thinking the hymen is a troll by nature to make girls suffer.

>>11703295

>>11703295
that yearning is what we call "moé"

>>11703301
I have been listening to this and was watching the pudding dance to it for the whole song. I should go to bed.
http://youtu.be/0nZts1P1414

>>11703312
I thought moe was a good, pleasant feeling. This is not pleasant at all. It's slightly painful.

>>11703334
moé is a double-edged sword
the moé giveth
and the moé taketh away

>>11703295
Which twin /jp/?

>>11703349
top one reminds me of the nyaruko bitch that I hate. so bottom one.

>>11703383
if you hate her so much, why don't you just imagine raping her?

>>11703436
because she's the crawling chaos. that doesn't exactly sound pleasant

>>11703349
I cannot pick just one. Man, what is it with this game? The more I look at the art, the more horrible I feel about never having a loli girlfriend or a loli friend.

Please stop posting images of those girls.