/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>34409067
Virgin! Old hag virgin! She'll never get a man!

>>34409067
And easy to seduce with a bottle of wine and a box of chocolate!

This hag virgin was made for bullying

>>34409067
My virgin hag wife kanako! soon to be not virgin

>>34409067
Kanako speaking Chinese! A snake of many tongues!

>>34409067
Goddess of bread?

>>34409067

>>34413510
Hah! She is so insecure and desperate that a literal little boy confessing to her is enough to shake her off!

>>34411689

>>34409227
>>34413510
Wife material. How tall do you think Kanako is? I say 175

>>34421971
Nah she's very tall. At least 6 ft minimum.

I want kanako to smother me with her breast

>>34409067
I better not tell Kanako-sama that I've been peeping on her during her baths and that I've witnessed her massive jungle bush multiple times or she might have a heart attack!

>>34421971
probably 184
i consider her among the tallest in gensokyo, if not THE tallest.

I want Kanako to take care of me when I'm not feeling well

>>34423788
I bet she'd do perverted things while you were asleep

She'd lift the blankets while you were sleeping and insist she was just "inspecting to make sure you were OK" and then stare at your underwear for a bit, too flustered to try and remove it like she intended

>>34424280
I'd let it slide as long as she made me something to eat. And if she maybe gave me a hug too.

>>34409067
I want to impregnate Kanako-chan.

Well anon, you've made it. You've climbed the mountain, bested countless youkai, and avoided what would be an early grave for most humans. Now that you're here, tell me, what are you after?

>>34428198
Nothing, I did it for fun.

>>34428198
I want to ask if Kanako would be willing to come to dinner with me in town! She seems really interesting, and I would like to learn more about her!

>>34428198
Uh, this is kinda awkward, I actually took the ropeway up to the top.
I'm just here because I heard you guys had videogames...

>>34428198
I'm here to visit the goddess.
Wait, there's two of them? I thought it was just the petite blonde who was the goddess of this shrine. No matter, just take me to her.

>>34428377
Interesting. Well, if you've no business, be on your way, human.
>>34428436
An interesting offer. It's been a long time since I've had an excuse to leave this place for leisure. Perhaps I'll just take you up on that offer.
(ohmygosh this human just asked ME out to dinner?! Not Suwako, not Sanae, ME? What should I wear? Where will we go? Stay calm Kanako, you've been through more difficult situations, just focus...)
>>34428552
Ah, yes, Sanae's got a playstation in the back, she said she invited some humans to play some "hesotensoko" game. Second door on the right when you enter the main shrine.
>>34429171
Y-yes there's two of us. If you're here for Suwako, she's over by the pond in the back.

This old hag can't believe anyone is interested in her in THAT way

How easy is it to play with Kanako's desperation to convince her to have sex with you?

>>34429960
So Kanako is a glorified receptionist.

>>34436859
Fairly, she's still a goddess with pride. She won't fall for low-effort tricks. But Kanako isn't the kind of woman you'd just quickly trick into sex anyways. Kanako is the slow burn, slowly making progress with her, showing her lonely heart warmth and love, easing her slowly, only pushing a bit forward every now and then to make her a bit uncomfortable, but in a good fun way. Slowly easing that old hag virgin until it's your wedding day and she's on the bed not really sure how this sex thing actually is going to go down.

>>34437095
In a sorts, she's more like the President, PR head and Manager. Sanae is the saleswoman, and Suwako does everything in the back.

Pre marital kissing with kanako!

>>34424280
More like she'd stare at you and wonder to herself if what she's doing is creepy or not and panicking every time you move since you might wake up and look directly into her eyes.

kanakp

>>34425055
I want her to spoonfeed me soup

>>34456559
I want to help her out in the kitchen

>>34423788
feeling like absolute shit with a fever, i could use a kanako to nurse me back to health

>>34456633
She’ll be your wet nurse by letting you suck on her tit

>>34456221
post Kanakp

She’s a hag that could never bear a child

I'm getting tired of autosage.
Stop bitching about nobody wanting to reply when half the threads on this board don't even bump.

Kanako may be a drunk virgin old hag but she's a good old hag

>>34470395
Fuck you.

>>34470795
You too.

>>34470726
And fuck your parents.

>>34470856
Fuck you cunt.

>>34475857
No fuck you asshole

>>34475884
Fuck me!

>>34475884
>>34475934
get a room

Cute snake.

Nadeko = Kanako

Wait kanako is a snake?

>>34494376
The beautiful goddess of the Suwa shrine, in all of her glory.
Oh, and Kanako too.

Suwako is a bad friend!

>>34502271
I remember this.
How did Kanako not kill her?

>>34502271
Bad doesn't even begin to describe it.

This was posted by an anon in the Kogasa doujins thread awhile back

Kogasa twirled her umbrella, enjoying all the gorgeous warmly colored leaves falling around her. The pathway up the Youkai Mountain may have been long, but the autumnal trees around and above her made it so much more worthwhile to travel than simply taking the ropeway.

And worthwhile the trip was sure to be! Kogasa gripped the vouchers in her left hand tightly. Sanae was such a great friend, and had managed to secure her a special one-on-one meeting with THE Yasaka Kanako, goddess of the mountain! And for only 12 easy donations plus faith, it was a steal of a deal! The cheery umbrella had already memorized all of the things she would ask the goddess about, all the blessings she would hope for! Oh, wait until her husband heard about this!

Finally, Kogasa's long trek met its end, at the summit of the mountain. Sanae had seen her approach and rushed over to greet her guest, offering her some respite, a quick bath, and a meal. After some quick rest and recuperation, and ensuring her umbrella looked its absolute best, Kogasa was finally brought into a grand imperial room within the shrine.

There the purple haired goddess sat... floated. Her eyes were closed, but opened as Kogasa approached and sat before her. "Ah, so you're Sanae's young friend, aren't you? Welcome." Her voice was deep and powerful, yet it spoke with an air of casualness to it. It made Kogasa feel welcome, even before such a powerful presence. "There will be much more time later tonight and tomorrow for pleasantries, so let's skip to business, shall we? What are the things that trouble you, that only a god may assist you with? Are you seeking ways to become more powerful? Curses for your enemies? Or perhaps, you se-"

"Oh, it's nothing like that Miss Lady Kanako!" Kogasa spoke up, feeling so comfortable in this casual god's presence that she could interrupt her. Thankfully, that feeling was right, Kanako was easygoing with that stuff. "You see, I had actually came to seek some relationship advice from you!"

"A-Ah, relationship advice?" A touch of nervousness seemed to coat Kanako's voice now, but the umbrella failed to pick up on it. Well, she couldn't turn away the youkai now, especially in this season where worshipers were so hard to come by. "Well, there are no realms where a god's insight cannot help..."

"Wonderful, thank you ma'am!" Kanako cringed hearing 'ma'am'.

"S-so, you're looking to have advice on how to win over the heart of a man?"

"Oh no, I already have a husband." What. This umbrella had a husband already? ... An umbrella could get a husband before her? "You see, what I was wanting to know is, you see, you know how boys can act really touchy and clingy when they're alone with you?" No, she didn't. "Well you see, my husband, he's really cute! You see, well, I like to surprise him, but lately he did something that surprised me! He appeared behind me one time and swept me off of my feet, and he leaned close! But instead of kissing me even though he was so close, he gave me flowers!" Kanako grew red. That sounded so lovely, like out of a cheap romance book she had read. She wanted something like that.

"Well, it was super nice and apparently he had been prepping to do that for a while! So I want to try something similar to surprise him! But, romantically you know? But I was wondering, do you think boy's like girls that are straightforward like that? Is it OK to be pushy and surprisey with that kind of romance stuff?" Kanako had absolutely 0 idea, and could only stutter. Kogasa didn't even seem to register the non-response. "Well, I was thinking that maybe I could use some chocolate..."

Sanae and Suwako gazed into the room from a hidden one near the back. "I never have seen Lady Kanako turn so red."

"Yeah, she does that when this topic comes up."

"I think I'll raise my bet, she'll go through 10 bottles of sake, if this one tale from Kogasa can fluster her so much.."

"10?"

"Yeah, I know this youkai has plenty more romantic tales to spill to Kanako."

"Now you're making me nervous I bet too low. ... I wonder what an umbrella who's so happy and blessed already needs from a goddess anyways?"

"Donations and faith are donations and faith. Though maybe deep down she's just interested in bragging about her husband?"

"Bragging to a god? Oooh, what a scary youkai~"

>>34518334
Kanakos such a virgin!

>>34428198
I was looking for Hakurei Shrine. Is this Hakurei Shrine?

>>34518334
This goddess is such a great virgin

How much “faith” do I need to give kanako to have sex and marry her

>>34519967
2

>>34409084
Old hag BTFO

Why is Kanako teased for being a virgin so much? I thought everyone but Suwako was a virgin.

>>34523904
Clearly you don’t realize hags are the biggest virgins kanako happens to be in 1st place for the most virginiest of virgins

You nerds have insulted Kanako-sama one too many times!!

What a virgin haha.

>>34524722
A flustered Yuuka trying to get tips on romance for the first time is cute

>>34524588
What's she gonna do? Kanako can make as many Moriya conspiracies as she wants, none will end with her getting a boyfriend!

>>34519095
n-no, it isn't.
Can't you fly? Haven't you been there before? How did you mistake this place for that run-down shack of a shrine?

>>34526905
What the fuck? Where's Reimu? I asked locals where the shrine is and they pointed me here. This ain't Hakurei Shrine. It's illegal. I'm calling the police.

>>34527897
>I asked locals where the shrine is and they pointed me here.
next time, master spark them.

>>34535527
>literal god becoming a waitress in a bunny suit
Only a virgin like kanako could do this

>>34538134
It’s only roleplay for her lover.

>>34538797
>her lover
You mean the one she imagined to validate why she’s wearing her outfit?

I want to awkwardly hug Kanako-sama

I want her to awkwardly hug me back

Awkward inexperienced lovers on their first date!

>>34538776
Fat Kanako Butt!

>>34549808
please don't stare too much, she's self-conscious about it

>>34539613
I bet she'd be soft and warm, and her figure would envelop you perfectly.

>>34555784
Are you saying Kanako is overweight?

>>34555804
She's a goddess
she can be whatever weight she wishes.

Kanako is the type of woman to sadly eat a tub of ice cream and complain about how she can’t find a man

Imagine feeding Kanako a tub of ice cream...

“Kanako-sama is easy to embarrass!” Sounds like a comedy doujin name.

How many school uniforms do you think Kanako tries to put on in a week?

>>34557654
All of them since she’s THAT desperate

>>34556575
frankly, she looks like she's eaten more than enough already

Would this millennia-old lady sexually harass Kanako out of boredom?

I bet she cries herself to sleep

You people are way too mean, calling Kanako old, a virgin, and fat. Kanako is a proud goddess you know!

>>34566185
Nothing to be ashamed of in virginity.

>>34566185
Haha look she has fat flaps!

Reminder that anything that makes Kanako look bad is much more likely to be the result of her living with a petty, jealous goddess with curse gods under her command than any actual fault of her own.

Kanako is in the new game! Congratulations virgin hag goddess!

Theres nothing I desire more than to have kanako rape and amazon press me while whispering in my ear there’s no point in struggling as she French kisses me not letting up until I fall unconscious and wake up to her giving me an order to forcefully kneel and ask to marry her because of “reasons”

>>34567602
You're just jealous we like the frog aren't you kanako

>>34571538
that's not funny my brother married that way

>>34566185
not proud enough to maintain a good figure, clearly

>>34574493
I could eat dinner off that ass

>>34572421
I like Kanako-sama more. The frog can eat a dick.

I'm utterly appalled at the excessive amount if bullying of Kanako. She deserves better.

>>34571538
It’s not rape if you want it mortal.

>>34578224
They love her too. No other character has such a strong following of bullies.

>>34578224
Proud cunning goddess not so proud after being reminded she's never even held hands with a man before!

>>34578224
Just make a Kanakp thread instead.

Lol lmao haha

I like this dork

>>34585513
Translation? I assume she’s getting bullied hard by someone since she’s crying

>>34589352
It's on danbooru. Basically Kanako offers to answer any question, and the person asks her if she's ever been with a man, who her first love was, etc. What you expect to happen happens

B-bro’s?

>>34593566
Unholy number for a holy goddess

What would you tell Kanako?

>>34601314
That she is a beautiful and respectable woman whom I would love to make my acquaintance with.

>>34601314
I would exchange greetings with her as I walk to behind the shrine, eager to meet with Suwako.

>>34601431
Poor Kanako

>>34601346
Happy Kanako

>>34601314
Call her a hag virgin whose never had a relationship so she cries then swoop in to seduce her in her vulnerable state

Oi hag dress your age

I came so hard to kanako that my left foot feels numb

>>34615512
Kanako? Don't you mean Sanae, or Suwako?

>>34616057
They don't have the mountains of faith she has

>>34616707
Sanae does... not. She's flatter than Reimu in the latest game.

>>34616707
More like saggers of faith!

>>34624296
Well I think they look great!

>>34624994
Same Suwako

>>34624994
My fertile hag wife kanako...

I wanna have a relaxed life at Kanako's side.

>>34627574
Someone should help Sanae out she looks dead

Loliko
Kanaloli
Lolika
Yaloli
Loli Kanako

>>34633333
Lolikana

>>34633333
But I want hagako she’s the only fertile one that I can tease...

It's tight because your chest onbashira are in the way Kanak

>>34639112
toned Kanak stomach

>>34639122
fitting for a war goddess.

>>34635923
Do not tease Kanako

>>34648749
I’m going to tease her till she cries and then I’m going to marry her!

>>34639112
>>34639122
Toned more like flabby lmao hag

>>34651627
Actual question Anon. Why are you attracted to Kanako? What is it about her that makes you feel as though you could marry a woman like her? Beyond the Mystique of being an ancient goddess or the anime artstyle? I find myself attracted to her struggle to remain relevant or even push towards the cutting edge of culture and technology despite being born of tradition. She isnt satisfied with who she is now or what shes currently doing and has a drive to get more out of life. I guess shes almost the kind of person I wish I was.

>>34652152
Not him but what you said essentially summarized what I like about her especially since she’s very lax for god and is very much a lady of science shes still a virgin though

>>34652152
I like how she's an old hag. I think her business-minded nature is fun to see but also combined with her relaxed personality, and I appreciate how she's one of the more benevolent forces in Gensokyo (consequently I don't care for fan interpretations that turn her into a heartless pure profit goddess). I really adore Moriya Shrine antics, the Moriya trio is cute to see together. I like Kanako being a drunk hag and trying on clothes far too small for her. And I like Kanako being a 40,000 year old virgin.

She's really really neat, from her design to her personality, and works made with her in them, I like Kanako!

>>34651627
fatty god fatty god~

>>34652152
She's pretty.=

>>34655676
What would she do if I squished her chub gut

>>34657297
sounds like a good way to lose your hands, if not your life

>>34657384
I Better make it count then and squeeze multiple times to get a good feel

>>34657384
What if I told her I like chubby girls immediately after?

>>34657384
Isn't it good luck to rub a buddha's belly though?

>>34657565
if you can convince her it's something faith related like that MAYBE she'll allow it

>>34657520
Kanako does seem like she's pretty easily influenced by flattery, sounds like a good excuse

>>34658352
It'll help me affirm my faith to rub her chubby belly!
It'll help me affirm my faith to hug her soft body!
It'll help me affirm my faith to visit the shrine everyday to see her!
It'll help me affirm my faith to take her out to have fun in the human village together!
It'll help me affirm my faith to watch her enjoy all the food and alcohol there!
It'll help me affirm my faith to spend the night at the Moriya shrine when it's late!
It'll help me affirm my faith to ask Kanako for her hand in marriage!

>>34654342
Pretty much how I feel + she has kind of a "cartoon villain" vibe that I really really like.

I will always find funny the fact that this part of Miko Miko Suika put her on my radar and made me play MoF.

>>34660262
Cartoon villain is a fantastic role, and I bet Kanako would get a kick out of playing up that role for a bit. Kanako seems like the kind of person who would enjoy chuuniing it up sometimes, presuming there was no one around to tease her and bring her back to Earth.

Im also glad you mentioned that series, the artist's Kanako is fantastic, and they (along with Kanako herself) were what got me to decide to really get into touhou after years of knowing about it.

Snake mom goddess is just so incredible

>>34662291
>>34660262
Its really Ironic. She tries to be the Face of Moriya shrine. She tries to be the icon that inspires the people and gathers faith from all over with her charisma and intellect, and yet she is overshadowed in popularity not only by her shrine maiden, but by her fellow goddess who is supposed to remain a secret to the public. Is it Kanako's fate to fade away?

>>34664059
Kanako will never fade away!

>>34658547
you sound like a very devoted follower, anon

Please stand up for the national anthem of Yasaka Kanako
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bN2iHlZTGgQ

>>34413510
That comic was great.

>>34428198
What am I after? Why to see you of course. After all it’s not every day I can see someone as beautiful as you ;)

>>34664059
She may not be as popular as Sanae
She may not be as cute as Suwako
She may not have as many followers as Byakuren
She may not have a shrine as cool as the Taoists
Hell...She may not be the most powerful god

BUT SHE'S STILL IN CHARGE DAMMIT

>>34672470
In charge of bearing my child

>>34672470
In charge of my heart

>>34672470
In charge of my faith

>>34672530
>>34672958
>>34675175

>>34672470
In charge of raiding the fridge and blaming it on Sanae

>>34676471
Kanako isn't that big of a glutton! Sanae really is the one who ate everything in the fridge!

>>34676525
it's ok Kanako we believe you

>>34672369
Is that so? Well, now that you've seen me, what is it you desire of me?

Kanako... so powerful, so imposing...

>>34685616
Imposing saggers, majestic hangers

What sort of things would you do with Kanako while hanging out?

>>34678039
That’s the best art I’ve seen of her so far

>>34685639
Seeing how I don't know her too well, I'd probably want to get to know her as a person rather than a deity. Sadly, the easiest way is over a drink. That or maybe danmaku.
Bonds are formed in the strangest of ways.

Kanakos saggers on my head...

Anyone has the story when Moriya Shrine opened a burger joint in Which some kid started crying and then Kanako tried to calm him down but she failed?

Kanako has lost a bet, she is your maid for a day!

>>34686062
The new burger joint, built just a small ways down from the Moriya Shrine, was intended to help attract more people to the area, who would hopefully decide to visit the shrine and pay their respects, granting it their faith. Kanako stood from behind a counter, watching the moderately crowded room buzz with chatter, people enjoying their burgers happily.

A sharp crying sound struck Kanako's ears, as she turned to see in the corner to see a young boy, maybe 6 or 7, with tears staining his cheeks. The mother tried to console her child, but to no avail. This seemed like a grand time for the goddess to play a small active role, and hopefully spark some faith in the people personally!

She was tall and imposing over the child, as she asked him what the problem was. The mother cowered slightly in fear, unsure if the goddess offered them assistance or a threat. The child, however, was unphased. His words were garbled over his tears, but Kanako could make out enough; the toy that came with his meal wasn't what he wanted. He didn't get anything of the nice shrine maiden idol, or of that funny froggy lady. Instead, he got some dumb stick. Kanako put on a smile and tried to inspire some joy in the child. She told him that it was no mere stick, it was a small onbashira, one of the symbols of the head goddess of the shrine herself, showing how powerful and mighty of a goddess she was! Her words left the kid unaffected, who continued to cry. He wasn't interested in whatever the purple hair lady offered, this stick was useless.

Sanae rushed over and in front of the goddess, as she personally appealed to the boy. Her charm and kindness, as well as how well known she was to everyone in the local town, quickly pacified the boy. Kanako was shaken, and decided to step into the back room of the restaurant to take a few personal moments to reflect over the situation.

She had returned to the dining floor just in time to see the child toss his onbashira toy in the trash can on his way out, where it joined many others identical to it.

>>34686165
This hurt to read. Poor Kanako.

>>34686726
Least popular goddess

>>34688429
Maybe, but she doesn't deserve such disrespect and cruelty.

>>34690680
They're just a kid, maybe Kanako should ask why children think she's so scary and intimidating!

For Kanako

Posting happy Kanako to get this thread back on track

:)

>>34702816
>>34702835
Blessed smile

>>34702816
she's awfully cute for some tyrannical mountain hag

>>34712477
Tyranically cute!

>>34712477
I want her to tyrannically claim my penis for her womb

>>34712695
don't we all

Kanako has something the other Moriya shrine members just don't

>>34725611
A dead womb?

>>34725611
Years of (non)experience?

>>34725611
A very small cup?

>>34725611
Virginity?

>>34725674
>>34726210
>>34726518
no! don't be so cruel to our lovely goddess

>>34727330
*lonely goddess

>>34727330
*haggy goddess

It's fun thinking about how Kanako is a dork even at her age.

>>34678039
I want to rub your cute feet

>>34727404
They're big and on an old person

>>34726423
I guess she's trying to cut back lately

>>34678039
>>34727404
Seconding this

Say "virgin hag" again

>>34729443
Virgin hag and if you kill me your an Uber virgin hag no take backs

>>34729443
I can’t wait to see what this beautiful and eloquent goddess will do to this blasphemer >>34729564