/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I'm going to
>Yuugi
Fuck.

>>43079119
I’m not too worried about a silly Yamawaro like takane. What’s she gonna do buy me? Haha

>>43079352
I want the oni so bad...

I'm (getting) fucked

>Mayumi
She's going to make it her duty to protect you from other women and she won't tell you why! She'll just say you need protection! She'll also tell you that you that she MUST help with your 'needs' as well because it's her duty and she won't take no for an answer! She won't fail at her task! Keiki doesn't know what to think of it herself, she can't give you an answer for why Mayumi is so protective over you. She thinks Mayumi might be bugged...

>>43079454
You already came and she's already gone...

>>43079119
How many?
I could see some of them agreeing to form groups to win over other groups and individuals.

>>43079583
Like the Kanker Sisters from Ed Edd and Eddy? Were they yanderes?

looks like my kids are getting turned into foxes
hopefully I can convince Yukari to not install windows vista on them

Alice and Anon are good friends! One day she invited Anon to have tea with her and he arrived right on time as usual. Unfortunately she got wrapped up in something personal in her basement and lost track of time! Anon knocked on her door and when there was no answer, he tried the doorknob, only to find that she forgot to lock her door. He goes inside, apologizing for the intrusion as he does so, but doesn't find her there. He was just about to leave when he heard what sounded like Alice muttering from behind a door that was left just a crack open. Slightly spooked by this, he slowly went over and opened the door a crack wider. Behind that door he found a set of stairs going down. He never knew this house had a basement and he quietly headed down. Alice was still too caught up in what she was doing to even notice that he was now in the room with her.

What Anon saw there surprised him. Lining the walls of the room were numerous notes and pictures, all pertaining to him. He even saw certain articles of clothing that he could have swore he lost as part of Alice's strange collection. Particularly noteworthy to him were several effigies nailed to the wall that resembled some friends that he had in the village. Interestingly enough, all of them were of female friends. At the far wall sat Alice herself, fiddling with something at a desk that was surrounded by doll making supplies. He could hear what she was mumbling much more clearly now. It did not seem to be words, but sounds. Anon was not sure if he was just mishearing the sounds that she was making but they sounded to him as though they were the sounds of kissing and moaning.

Anon finally decided to call out to her. Alice was greatly startled and nearly fell out of her chair turning around. She frantically fumbled around trying to hide what she was doing but Anon caught a glimpse of it. There were two dolls, one that looked like Alice and one that looked like him. They appeared to be stacked on top of each other on a doll sized bed. She quickly threw a large piece of cloth over them and rushed over to Anon to herd him back upstairs, all while apologizing about her poor sense of time and trying to cycle through as many conversation topics as she could in an effort to distract him and prevent him from asking questions.

Anon had a sneaking suspicion that he knew what she was doing and feeling kind of embarrassed for the both of them, decided not to bring it up at all. He had questions about some of the other things in the room and kind of wanted some of his clothes back but thought it best to simply let her keep both her secrets and his clothes for the time being. Much to Alice's relief, he was willing to play along with her distraction attempts and they were able to have a pleasant if not somewhat awkward tea time together.

>>43079596
No idea. But yeah, sisters and very close friends might fight at first, but wouldn't kill each other. Who knows, perhaps they'd want to share?

>>43079596
Of course they were yandere. Europeans wouldn't know that because they don't watch superior American cartoons.

>>43079119
Stop talking about this trash, talk about something actually interesting like grimsokyo for example, dumb coomers
Also, youkai don't love you.

>>43079748
gosh imagine being stuck with those yandere youkai sisters!

>>43080926
Would Satori be insulted if you wore a Magneto helmet around her so she couldn't read your mind?

>>43079715
Cute Obsessed Arisu

>>43079119
ah yes
uhh
ummm
who's this again?

>>43079119
i got akyuu.
lol, what's she gonna do? i'm simply just not interesred in her.
she might have some influence in the village, but i just have to wait her out a few years then I'm free to live as i please.

>>43087915
She doesn't want you to fuck youkai and she means it!

>>43087915
She nods politely to the man that that rather roughly escorted you to her residence, indicting that he could leave and take a position right outside the room. "I'm very sorry it had to come to this Anon, but you were so insistent on ignoring all my other invitations, so I had to arrange a meeting by other means. Would you like some tea?" she said as she gestures to a tray with tea and snacks on it. "Well take your time. I'm sure we can just discuss our differences. Like why you keep avoiding me. Am I not to your taste? Do you have an eye on someone else? Or could it be you don't like humans at all?" Her usually compressed expression has a flash of anger and her grip on her cup tightens before she breathes in and calms down. "Ah. Never mind that. To the matter at hand. You might be aware of my condition, but even so I still have the urges and desires of any other woman. To live like this means you must know what's important to you in your short life" she flashes you a slight smile.

"You know, I find you very interesting Anon, I would really like to get to know you more" She takes a small, delicate finger and traces a path from your collarbone all the way down to your crotch, tracing her finger back and both in a way that's way too over-familiar. She shows you a grin far too predatory to be on a face like hers. "Even if the relationship might be like a burning candle, I promise I will make it a happy one for you. Even when I'm gone, marrying into the Hieda family will be very beneficial for you. Much better then the alternative" She takes a sip of her tea and gazes off into nothingness. "Humans can be so trusting, believing in something because someone in authority said so. A man's life, the lives of his loved ones, maybe even the lives of their descendants could be ruined all because of rumors, isn't' that a shame?" She's no longer gazing into the air, and her stare is locked onto you. "If you ant to make a decision, make it now. We have lots of time to make up for...."

>>43079715
Alice really needs to get laid.

>>43088326
She's workin' on it!

>>43088303
How dastardly of her!

>Remilia

What did I do?

What do I do?

>>43088990
If you're already in the mansion you're fucked.

>>43088990
Reject her on account of her overly youthful appearance! She'll understand!

>>43079715
https://youtu.be/eGoXyXiwOBg
^
Literally Alice and Anon

>>43088990
Just play along with her flights of fancies Anon. If she wants you to be a gentleman caller who's come to court her then just prepare to at least try to pretend to sound intelligent. Read some trashy romance novels, throw out some absolutely Godawful romantic lines that feed her chuuni complex and you'll be safe.
The real danger is Sakuya so make sure to eat and drink from the same trays, she hates the idea of you corrupting her naive and full-of-her-self Ojou-sama..

>>43089123
Then I sure hope that Remilia doesn't corrupt herself as I divulge her in her shenanigans.

I don't want to know what will happen if that does occur, and I don't want to know.

>>43089123
This post seems a little suspicious.
Almost as if somebody wanted to make sure Anon gets in Remilia's good graces. Eating and drinking from the same trays as a vampire? Acting out trashy romance novels? I thought the idea was to let her know you're not compatible. This is manipulating you into getting closer to her.
Sakuya is the real danger here indeed, just don't drink anything, and watch out for any sudden timestop tricks like suddenly finding yourself holding Remilia's hand or patting her head.<div class="xa23b"><span class="xa23t"></span><span class="xa23i"></span></div>

>>43088990
I was working on a fun but somewhat lengthy little story about Remilia just for fun but seeing her brought up here has given me an idea of where to go with it.

>>43091144
Nice, any chance you're going to post it here, or maybe on a fanfic site like AO3?

>>43091144
>>43091391
Considering how faggy most of AO3 is, whatever you put out cannot be worse.
That said, i'd still be interested in reading it.
She's a pretty complex character at heart.

>>43091391
I'll probably just post it here. It's only lengthy by post standards anyways.

>Flan
I will probably die horribly in the end, but I'm okay with that because I love Flan-chan!

>>43095571
Maybe you won't. How do you feel about becoming a vampire? They're pretty resilient.
Actually, it doesn't matter how you feel about it.

>>43095571
Being Flandre's meat dildo and bloodbag isn't the worst way to die. Roomba probably eats the Anons she falls in love with.

>>43095463
I'm all ears!

>pic
I picked her as my wife in EraTohoK and this is what I get?

B O W L

It had been many months since Anon became a guest at the Scarlet Devil Mansion. He thought himself fortunate to have piqued the interest of the mansion's mistress, the vampire Remilia Scarlet, who offered him protection from the more malicious entities that roamed the wilds of Gensokyo in exchange for nothing more than his company. The outsiders that found themselves in this land rarely spoke English and she was glad to be able to speak it with one who was so fluent in it. The feeling was mutual. The last thing Anon expected to find in a place like this was someone who spoke his language. He gladly accepted her offer and spent many hours over the course of his stay conversing with the mistress about everything from philosophy to pop culture.

Remilia found herself quite enamored with her guest. So much that she wanted him to become something more than that to her. The vampire picked a beautiful moonlit night to invite Anon to have tea with her in the garden so that she could make him an offer...

Remilia wasted little time getting to the point of her invitation. After a bit of small talk, she began. "I have enjoyed the time that we have spent together thus far, Anon. Though we have not known each other for long, I have come to think of you as a friend and confidant." The vampire's guest quietly sipped on his tea as he listened, curious as to where she was going with this. "You may not be aware of this, but you have gotten quite close to me. Quite close indeed..." She trailed off and glanced up at the moon. "And yet, you could be closer still. As a matter of fact, I insist upon it." Remilia shifted her gaze onto her guest. "To that end, I have an important request to make of you. I would like you to pledge yourself to me and become my consort."

Anon sipped his tea as he thought about the vampire's request. He kept his cool but there was panic just beneath his surface. This was not how he expected this night to go and he needed time to formulate a proper answer. Seeing that his silence was starting to irritate the vampire, he decided to speak up. "You flatter me, Lady Scarlet. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought that I would catch the eye of an elegant aristocrat such as yourself." Remilia brought her tea cup to her lips to obscure her smirk from Anon. "However..." Anon continued. "There is a single matter that I'm afraid can never be resolved, given your unique circumstance." The smirk faded from Remilia's face. "And that is matter of your appearance." Anon was quick to catch himself before she could get the wrong idea. "This is not to say that you are unsightly. On the contrary, you are the fairest young lady that I have ever laid my eyes upon and once upon a time you may have matured into a beauty without peer, but unfortunately..." He gestured a hand at the vampire. "Your condition has left you in this form of physical stasis that you will never be able to grow out of. I'm sure that I don't have to explain to you why this is difficult for me." Remilia looked blankly across at Anon for a moment before chuckling. "Ah, Anon, I enjoy your unique sense of humor. It is yet another reason why I value your company." She put on a smile for her guest. "That being said, it was quite rude of you to make such a jape at my expense, especially after I just offered you a place of prestige and honor. No matter, I am willing to forgive you if you give me your pledge now." Anon could feel his host's piercing red gaze meeting his. He looked away and he answered. "I...I'm afraid that was no jape, Lady Scarlet. That was my genuine answer. I'm sorry."

>>43096739
Remilia had never considered the possibility that she could be rejected. "I...see..." She did her best to maintain her composure but her anger made itself apparent when she crushed the handle of her cup between her fingers. The vampire knocked over her chair as she stood up and her wings unfurled themselves to their full span as she began yelling. "No, I do not see! I am Remilia Scarlet! The descendant of Tepes! The Scarlet Devil herself! I am the manipulator of fate! The queen of darkness and enemy of the light! Majesty of the night sky! The bloodied moon that hangs above a massacre!" Anon had never heard her mention some of those self proclaimed titles before and had a feeling that she was making them up as she went but he thought it better to keep his mouth shut, given how angry the vampire seemed. "It is as you say, I am a beauty without peer! Men have killed for my affection! Battles have been fought for my favor! Entire kingdoms have been offered to me for my hand! Countless have died over the centuries for the mere opportunity to glance at my face, and I have denied them all, for they were not worthy!" Remilia slammed her palms against the table between herself and Anon with enough force to crush it. "Yet you, a mere commoner, have the audacity to reject me?! I offer you a treasure beyond worth and you would toss it aside as though it were nothing?!" The vampire kicked the now worthless pile of wood between them aside and approached the still seated Anon. Her crimson eyes flashed with an anger that he had never seen before. "Lady Scarlet, please calm d-" He was cut off before he could finish. "And to hide behind such a pathetic excuse! I will not have it. I do not accept your answer." The vampire leaned in close enough that her face was just an inch away from his. He tried to break eye contact with her but she guided his gaze back to meeting hers with a tilt of his chin "I sought your cooperation as a courtesy but I do not require it. It is by my grace that you are able to live in safety and comfort. I am well within my rights to simply take what I desire." Anon wanted to close his eyes but he could not. Though she seemed a fair bit calmer now, he felt a fear greater than what he felt when she was yelling. The vampire's voice had lowered itself to be just barely above a whisper. "I am no longer asking. You will be my consort. Your body. Your heart. Your very soul. Everything that you are, you will give to me. This is your fate and you will accept it." She took a step back then presented her hand to Anon. "Now kneel, and pledge yourself to me."

Anon sat in a stunned silence. He knew that Remilia had a flair for the dramatic but tonight, she took it to a new level. He was unsure if he should be impressed by her performance or laugh.

Though he was well aware that she was older than him by far, he still found it exceedingly difficult to see past Remilia's overly youthful exterior. He felt as though he could not accept her offer in good conscience. "I'm sorry, I can't. It just doesn't seem right." His reply reignited the flames of Remilia's anger. "Barbarian! I have never been so insulted in the many centuries of my existence! How is it that you developed such pathetic convictions?! Do you not understand that you-" She suddenly cut herself off in the middle of her rant. It seemed as though she came to some kind of realization, which was a frightening prospect for Anon. She smirked at her guest. "Yes, your pathetic 'human' convictions. I suppose there is something that we could do about that..."

>>43096750
Before he could ask her what she meant, Remilia pounced onto him and dug her fangs into his neck. Anon bolted onto his feet and tried to yank her off of him but to no avail. She was much stronger than he was and there was nothing that he could do to get her off of him. Remilia was not normally such a heavy drinker but the anger that she felt towards Anon's refusal gave her the strength that she needed to drain him to within an inch of his life and infect him with vampirism. He was barely clinging on to consciousness as he looked up at the blurring figure of Remilia standing above him. She tried to mask it but the level of exhaustion that she felt after performing such an arduous task was apparent. "Human convictions...are for humans. You...will have no need for such things. Not with...me." She coughed and snapped her fingers. In an instant, her faithful maid was standing beside her. She attempted to wipe the blood from her mistress' face with a piece of cloth but she waved the hand away and gave her instructions that he could not make out. Remilia took a moment to catch her breath then leaned down towards him to give him some parting words. "Our fates are intertwined, Anon. Whether you will spend eternity by my side in a place of honor or in chains is up to you." The vampire smiled, her lips still stained with his blood. "But for now, sleep. You will have much to consider when you wake." With her words given, the maid called over a pair of servants to drag Anon back into the mansion.

There in the darkness of his specially prepared chamber, Anon experienced a restless night of transformation. Perhaps when his metamorphosis is complete and he understands the nature of his new state of being, he will finally be able to accept Remilia and all that she is. She is certainly counting on it.

Guess it wasn't that lengthy after all. It just looked deceptively long on wordpad. I love a happy ending so I'd like to think Anon eventually came around and accepted Remilia.

Thanks for posting Anon!

>>43096798
sav'd

>>43096739
>>43096750
>>43096781

Damn, that shit's good. Excellent work, fellow Anon. I don't know if you'll do more but so far it's great.

If only Remilia looked a young adult, then I would accept her. Yet, that must be my "human" convictions kicking in.

>>43097277
My headcanon is that both Remy and Flan look like petite women.
It's handy for certain things.

>>43097287
I'd like to think they are both just really short too. I know full grown women who are like 4 foot 10 so it would be unusual but not too weird.

>>43097287
Petite women don't use a high chair, anon.

>>43097407
Remiliabros...

>>43097714
No dignity whatsoever.

>>43097407
Clearly Remilia is using her massive charisma to make a practical joke on her guests.

>>43097407
>>43097783
That's adorable! Mistress so cute!

>>43079119
>Kogasa
She could never be a yandere. She is too cute to be crazy!

>>43098112
Maybe obsessively loving someone will give her just the drive she needs to finally spook people.

>>43097790
Is she daring them to treat her like a baby so she can yell at them?

>>43087579
Cloud girl+her cloud dad.

>>43096798
That was hilarious actually
"Sorry I'm not into lolis"
"Sorry but I wasn't asking"<div class="xa23b"><span class="xa23t"></span><span class="xa23i"></span></div>

>>43097783
You'll pay for those words Anon, the clan of Scarlet won't forgive you.

>>43079119
help

>>43102804
You will help her regain something she's lost, whether you want to or not.

You WILL be a father!

>>43102888
anon. there's a slight factor which I think means she has other intentions.
I'm a manlet

>>43079119
time to be a hermit in the woods

>>43096739
>>43096750
>>43096781
C'mon anon, this is awesome, don't disappoint, MC has one of those few skills that people don't have in this festering thread of cucks and beta males, a will, ideals and convictions, truly MC is made in the image of god.
how delightful ironic will be that even turn in him into a vampire will never win her his heart because his soul is still human (and so are the vampires, even though they cope and seethe and never admit it)
hope MC is Baptized, Granting hip a covenant with the lord and protection or resistance agains blood bonds. that would be interesting.
cheers

>Seija

She doesn't want to be loved, so she would want me to hate her, and only her. It wouldn't be fun with her always harassing me and finding new ways to make me dislike her more.

>>43102903
Would it really matter Anon?

She would love you nonetheless of your height, in fact she'd love it more as it shows her power over you. She may not say it, or even think it, in heart she loves the fact that you are essentially under her control. However you may have caught her attention, be it your physique, your charm and personality, or something beyond your limited understanding. Once she has you in her sights, it's curtains. You are hers, and hers alone, Anon. It's better to accept this lot in life than to try and fight it. She'll reveal all to you once you're with her.

>>43103091
Anon, i think you may be reading a bit to hard into anon's fic.

>>43103146
She'd be like a mosquito that wants you to swat her.
No matter when or where she'll always distract and pester you till you hurt her again and she leaves you alone for a bit.
You will never have a happy life again.

>>43103487
I mean, it wouldn't in the grand scheme of things, but I imagine from it she'd treat me closer to a replacement son than a father to make a new one.

>>43103553
Well, you can't be that short, right?

>>43104798
I am I think 8 inches below the average for my country

>>43104907
I'm like a dwarf in my home country (I'm like 171 cm)

>>43104917
154cm

>>43104940
You're cute

You wouldn't have to worry about Sakuya being yandere for you, as Remi would either not let her or take you herself since Sakuya must always be on the job.

>>43105208

>>43105208
She can stop time, dude

>>43105208
Remilia isn't stupid, she knows that she will need a replacement for Sakuya one day. So why not get her married so she can produce and train her own successor?

someone give me a quick run down on keiki

>>43105443
No need, see >>43105233
Sakuya will not die, she will be at Remi's side forever, so there's no need for Sakuya to marry a man and have kids. Ergo, Sakuya won't be able to go yandere mode on you and you are safe from her.

>>43104940
I'm so sorry Anon

>>43104940
highly peggable

>>43105732
He's mine back off

>>43105765
Woah, is this now the yandere /jp/ anons thread?

>>43104940
anon you're a women

>>43105607
Remilia having to come out and hunt you down because Sakuya keeps shirking her duties to pursue you!

>>43105765
Junko is that you?

>>43105910
Saaaakuuuuya, come baaaaack. The mansion's all ruined and the fairy maids have gone tribal and Flan hasn't bathed in WEEKS! She stinks Sakuya! You can have whatever or whoever you wat, please just come back!

>>43106103
Her conditions are that she wants Anon to live in the mansion with them so she doesn't have to leave to go find him whenever she wants to see him! She wants him to have a nice room with a big strong lock on it so he can't escape and force her to neglect her duties to search for him!

Remilia agrees on the condition that Sakuya has to feed and care for him herself! She also wants Sakuya to properly train him so he can be trusted to do things around the mansion and earn his keep! Sakuya is overjoyed and goes out to hunt him down one last time...

>>43106235
Don't forget that Sakuya has to bathe more frequently now, the mansion still smells like a fishmonger's from all the hot rough fucking she keeps having.

>>43106251
That's why she picked one of the rooms with an en suite! It was just as much for her as it was for him. She remembers what Remilia told her about having to take care of him so she always makes him join her in the bath so she can wash him and vice versa. She always ends up being unable to resist and making him go another round with her in the bath. Fortunately for Sakuya, she always waits until the daybreak when Remilia is asleep to do this so she has plenty of time to have her fun.

>>43106235
>>43106251
>>43106571
Bearing all of this in mind, I sure do hope Remilia doesn't fall down into the Anon rabbit hole and ends up in the same situation as Sakuya.

t. Anon who got Remi from the random character generator

>>43104940
Dwarfable.

>>43108671
Oh my, a situation where the mistress and her servant lust for the same young man?
I can imagine Remy trying to appeal to her high class and nobility, failiing to realize that Sakuya is a pervert who is willing to be dominated in order to get fucked, and doesn't care she's cucking (?) her master. And of course Remy would be too snobby to ever think of getting railed, forever denigrating her to being the piggy bank of the hidden Sakuya/anon relationship.

>>43108716
Remilia noticing that he smells a lot like Sakuya as of late, which is strange because she rarely ever sees them in the same room together...

>>43088398
GO DO IT

GET IN HERE AND DO IT

>>43079686
Don't worry, they're getting Windows 11, and will phone home to mommy Ran to make sure there aren't any threats that might try to hide from Ran.

>>43087915
She'll work out a deal with the Yama. In exchange for more work between her lives, you're getting reincarnated alongside her. She sees it as a necessity to ensure that she'll NEVER lose you.

>>43109636
>She'll work out a deal with the Yama. In exchange for more work between her lives, you're getting reincarnated alongside her. She sees it as a necessity to ensure that she'll NEVER lose you
Thats actually terrifying.
You think you outpaced the kyuun only for the shinigami to come visit saying you're due and finding yourself working alongside your stalker for a hundred years before reincarnating with her and being forced to do it all over again.

>>43109690
She's going to make sure she has a loving partner whether she's Akyuu, Ajuu, Ajuuichi, Anijuu, Ahyaku, Agohyaku, Asen, Aman, Aoku, Achou or Akei

>>43109034
Remy brushing it off as they all get their clothes washed by Sakuya anyways, all at the same time!
It'd be weird if they didn't all smell a little alike, right?
I mean, Meiling smells of sweat and chinese cooking, but that's unique to her.
Patchy smells of dust and paper, but that's pretty understandeable.
Fland and Remy both have a miasma of blood around them...
Since they are the only two normal humans in the mansion, it'd be weird if they smelled any different...?

>>43103504
Maybe I could get Reimu to scare her away for me, unless that beats her want to torment me even more.

>>43109790
Everyone in the house knows but Remilia but no one has the heart to tell her!

>>43109854
Odds are, that might be the case until Reimu gets sick of it and either exterminates her or tells you to deal with it and leaves you to your dismay.

>>43088303

>>43096739
>>43096750
>>43096781

There's something really thrilling about a girl like this, who wants you, and "no" is not considered an acceptable answer to her. And you begin to realize that despite their cute girlish exterior, it's a monster that's in love with you.

>>43105579
Keiki is surprisingly one of the more reasonable and calm 2hu antagonists. However, it seems to be just a veneer. I remember that in WBaWC she threatened to kill the protagonist and then put her soul in a doll, so Keiki might actually be one of the worst 2hu's to have obsessing after you. Mayumi seems to have a decent existence but if you are disobedient Keiki will probably make you into an inanimate clay dildo. So be careful.

This Oni has decided you're her husband now.
Don't worry though, she's actually a very jovial and carefree girl so you will actually enjoy having her as a wife, though she will end up getting you drunk very often.

>>43114803
I cant drink alcohol due to my medication I'm afraid. Getting drunk would most likely send me to ICU

>>43115203
I'm afraid your days are numbered anon

>>43115203
Don't worry, anon. Your cute oni wife has a good friend who has just the thing to help you deal with your medical condition.

>>43114803
I tell her I'm flattered but she looks a bit young for me!

>>43114803
I don't like loli

>>43079119
Ah fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
FUCK

There is no escape for me.
Maybe if keep trying to be a good person then I'll get reincarnated instead of being stuck in hell where Yuuma can claim my soul for eternity

>>43116454
Yuuma forcing you to do bad things so you won't get into the Enma's good graces for reincarnation!

>>43116454
Yuuma coming out of hell just to get you.

>>43116454
Threaten her with a simple box of matches
She lives on a literal lake of oil, she carries around a spoon of the shit, she's a worse fire hazard than Mokou.
All it's gonna take is one static discharge to light her up like a nigger at a klan meeting.

>>43116536
Anon all thats gonna lead too is you getting fried then Yuuma claiming your soul for eternity

>>43116605
She is literally soaked in oil, the glint from a mirror would be enough to make her involuntarily join the fantastic four.

>>43116638
She's also a youkai, she'll be mad and out of commission for awhile, maybe a long while. However, she'll be back and when she reclaims your soul from the underworld it won't be hugs and kisses you'll be getting.
Maybe, honestly that might kill her.

>>43116536
>>43116638
Anon... I hate to break it to you but that stuff isn't actually real oil...

>>43116677
Anon plays his hand too early and gets fucked over by it!

>>43117838
Maybe Yuuma will be too busy laughing and let him off with a warning

>>43114803
I wish I enjoyed alcohol as much as I did when I was younger...

>>43115793
good thing that she's a hag

I'd actually be pretty safe.

Youmu was super happy today, as anon had been a good boy all month. He didn't even try to pick his lock once despite the hair pin she "accidentally" left behind one day while cuddling!

The half baked ghost was all smiles as she walked into the basement, she had so much planned after all. Anon wasn't looking the best as he silently stared at her all pale and a little chafed around the wrists and ankles where the shackles bit into his flesh. Youmu wasn't heartless of course and made sure they were treated but anon had been bad, so she took off the padding last week when he didn't say "I love you" as she kissed him goodnight.

Anon's eyes were almost dead by this point, most of the vibrant life that she loved to see while he struggled was almost extinguished. This saddened Youmu a bit but she knew that she'd have plenty of time to reignite that passion she fell in love with after he realized that Youmu was the only girl for him! With a sing-songy voice Youmu announced to anon, "Good morning dear! I know you haven't had breakfast yet but I thought it'd be nice if we go on a walk so get up!". Youmu held out a chain, this chain wasn't a normal one, no, she specially requested it from the village blacksmith last time she was in town. This chain was especially light but more than enough to hold a human captive, it was even dyed a pleasant green, like Youmu's dress! Youmu was already thrilled enough by the prospect of them matching!

The tired eye's of Anon looked confused but that was understandable, she'd never let him out yet but that kind of hesitation wouldn't do; Anon is a man after all he has to take charge! With a cross voice she said again, "Anon. I said we're going out on a walk, get yourself up now! I only have so much time before I start gardening!" Youmu smiled inwardly as Anon scrabbled to his feet, he knew better than to get Youmu mad after all even though his wrists and ankles hurt.

As Youmu undid his ankle cuffs she expected him to lash out, but instead he was still; this was good as though she presented an "easy" opening she was on guard and ready to discipline him should he try. Youmu's day grew a bit brighter as she undid his wrist cuffs next and with no trouble attached the special padded cuffs and collar that went with the new leash. Youmu noticed that Anon's head was hanging down, and though silent she could see tears glistening out of the corner of his eyes. Youmu wanted to comfort him and cuddle him but they were low on time, Youmu was a busy girl after all!

Barefoot, head hanging, and his hair disheveled Anon was lead up the stairs from the basement and out the doors into the sunlight for the first time in what felt like eternity. Though there were no birds, insects, or the sounds of animals to greet him it felt good to feel the warmth of the sun again. He told himself that Youmu was so generous, to let him out again, at least thats what he wanted to believe despite the proof to the contrary. He was avoiding eye contact with her and half listening to her seemingly gentle words as she onesidedly chatted to her "boyfriend". He didn't want to make her mad, so with a few "yes" "you're right" "Yes the weather is so nice" he made sure to keep Youmu smiling. Youmu lead the barefoot captive off the main property where they enjoyed a day out.

Sadly for Anon, Youmu forgot to feed him breakfast before she had to start her duties. It was alright though, since as long as Youmu was happy she won't beat him in the evening and might even attach the longer chain to his bedpost so he can get up and walk after its night time!

>>43122486
My man is dying
RIP Anon, Youmu didn't take good care of you

>>43122486
Youmu is an irresponsible pet owner!

>>43124283
I agree, where's Yuyuko when you need her?

>>43124491
Maybe this treatment is the result of Yuyuko's intervention. Yuyuko tried to tell Youmu that she isn't taking proper care of ol' Anon and tried to show her the proper way. Unfortunately this resulted in him getting more attached to Yuyuko as the only "nice" person in the household and once Youmu noticed that, she took Anon away to care for in whatever way she saw fit and at times it even felt like she was doing it poorly out of spite. Now every time he happens to see Yuyuko, he can only look at her with eyes that plead for help but she looks away, not wanting to get involved in this weird little project of Youmu's anymore. She pities him but not enough to strain her relationship with her most loyal servant over it.

>>43124551
Yuyuko may be willing to not strain that relationship, but Youmu sure as hell does if Anon continues see Yuyuko as a comfort and keeps wishing that she would save him from this nightmare. Youmu hates that Anon wants another girl other than her, especially if it's her master. Those eyes are for her and for her alone. If Anon doesn't stop thinking about Yuyuko, then Youmu might have to take things up to the extreme to truly show how devoted to Anon she is.

>>43124631
if Youmu gets uppity, Yuyuko could always ask Yukari to rescue Anon for her since the gap hag cares sweet nothing for Youmu's petty hatred

>>43124857
Yuyuko has enough of Youmu's attitude towards her and has Anon taken away until she learns how to behave herself. She reminds Youmu that she is the master of the house and that Youmu better remember how to treat her that way. Youmu screams, shouts, and even tries to attack Yuyuko but all that does is make Yuyuko double down on her stance. If Youmu doesn't apologize to her and behave herself then she is going to charm Anon herself and make sure that he never thinks about her again!

I have no interest in this guy (female). I will politely reject any advances until my yandere finds a new person to obsess over.

>>43124997
Oh anon, that's not how this works.
Miko is going to use her/his influence and followers to abduct you and tie you up in his/her bedroom where no one will help you.
I'd come up with a plan, quickly.

>>43124997
Snatch the headphones.

>>43124997
It doesn't matter, anon, Miko will use all of her influence, wealth, and magic to ensure that the two of you will be legally married, thus forcing you to spend the rest of your (soon to be very long) life in her dojo.

>>43125003
I think >>43125010 has the right idea, if she tries to kidnap me I'll take off the headphones, pull the cape over his head, then make my escape!

>>43124551
>>43124631
>>43124857
>>43124939
While Youmu may get jealous that Anon see's yuyuko as his only friend and Youmu may get jealous that doesn't mean anything.
If Youmu gets uppity Yuyuko will quickly put her in her place. Youmu may be like a daughter to her but she is still her master and won't let her servant forget that

>>43125058
There is no escape. You will have passionate handholding sex with Miko and you will like it.

>>43079119
>yuyu

its either 'beetus, vore or an eternal prison in the netherworld

>>43125522
More likely all three in that order.

Toyosatomimi no Miko is a living saint and she will not rape you or force you to have sex with her because she is an ascetic who pursues celibacy in order to become closer with the nature of reality. In fact, even if she were to do something like that so the yin and yang get closer in you and her, she would NEVER go to the full extent and would only practice the tantric ritual of controlling ejaculations meaning neither you or her would ever come because that's how you experience true ecstasy in Taoism, by not coming.
So she would most likely NOT have sex with you or would only edge. Besides the fact Miko would NOT be yandere as a religious person in the first place, this means you are completely safe around her. I'm telling you, she would NEVER DO THAT TO YOU.

>>43125727
S(he) is going to use that trust you and everyone else has in her to abduct and rape you you know.

>>43125727
Reminder that cunnilingus is revered in Taoism, so guess what you'll be doing a lot of.

>>43125727
Love knows no bounds, religion be damned, not enough Taoist cope can stop what can truly happen to Anon.

>>43125727
Well that's good to know! I'll bet Byakuren is just as safe to be around too.

>>43125827
>>43126067
>>43126082
As a taoist, I am deeply offended you would try to smear the saint's name like this. I wish you all harm.
Miko is not a depraved soul.

>>43126067
an eternity of having to play the miko like a musical instrument
terrible

>>43126067
It is?

>>43124997
Being Miko's wife (male)!

>>43125022
What would living a long Taoist life entail?

>>43128976
sitting cross legged probably (idk I'm not a Taoist)

>>43079119
>Okina
Oh man

>>43129318
No, Toyosatomimi is the man.
But yeah, say goodbye to your family, because you are 100% getting abducted

>>43129318
>>43129367
Is being kidnapped by a girl who has nothing but love for you really that bad of a fate? A goddess no less! Really, I think you should be grateful and shower this goddess with praise and worship.

It's over. I better go ask Reisen for some protips.

>>43127914
"The Great Medicine of the Three Mountain Peaks is to be found in the body of the woman and is composed of three juices, or essences: one from the woman's mouth, another from her breasts, and the third, the most powerful, from the Grotto of the White Tiger, which is at the Peak of the Purple Mushroom (the mons veneris)"

It's for your benefit anon, on your knees,

>>43129500
Junko is here to collect many Anons for her harem to fill the Lunatic Kingdom with more bodies.

>>43129582
So you'd indeed have sex with miko since you'd have to get her lactating

>>43125337
Youmu behaves herself around Yuyuko but starts taking it out on Anon instead! On some days she beats the hell out of him while demanding that he tell her that he loves her and that Yuyuko means nothing to him. If there is something that makes her not believe it then she beats him even more. On particularly bad days she breaks down crying herself while administering the beating. She yells at him, asking him why he can't love her back and wants to know what she's doing wrong, all while kicking him in the stomach. Once she gets it all out of her system she tearfully apologizes and treats his injuries. After that Youmu is actually gentle for a little while, as if trying to make up for her outburst and prove to him that she is worthy of his love. During these periods of kindness it almost feels like she remembers what boundaries are. She isn't forceful with him like she usually is and even asks him for his permission before she hugs or kisses him. Of course he still knows better than to deny any request that she makes of him no matter how docile she seemed at the moment. Unfortunately for Anon, these periods never last for too long.

Eventually something sets Youmu off again. Maybe it was Yuyuko walking by while you were outside together or maybe she just didn't like your lack of enthusiasm around her. Whatever it may have been, she eventually spirals back into her streak of cruelty and the cycle starts again.

>>43134564
Slander. Youmu is a kind owner!

>>43122486
>>43134564
Fucking terrifying. This is why I would never enter a relationship with a 2hu (or any super powerful woman) without becoming powerful enough to stand my own ground.

>>43134922
that's the fun part about yanhus
you don't get a chance to run away

>>43134942
The *best* part.

I finally escaped from the Hakurei Shrine's pantry that Reimu locked me up in after she went yandere mode on me!
Now I just have to escape Gensokyo, but my chances of that are low if Reimu won't send me back herself now, since she's crazy..... Maybe that kind 17 year old over there with those weird portals can help me.

>>43135099
>Hakurei shrine
>Pantry
Nice try Mamizou, you aren't fooling me this time!

>>43135108
>>43135099
No you see she locked him in the pantry cause its the one room in her small shrine thats always empty

>>43079119
So what the hell do I do about this?

>>43135403
You might want to buy a rabbit's foot.

>>43135403
Get ready to spin

>>43135426
Or cut one of Tewi's feet for permanent luck!

>>43135737
Instructions unclear; trapped in pit.

>>43135761
It's okay, Hina is here to save you!

>>43122486
Youmu wonders why Anon hasn't fallen in love with her yet! She doesn't want to keep him in the basement and only be able to visit him when she's not busy, but Anon is just so stubborn. There's so much they could do together if he just admitted his love for her. They could go on dates and she could show him off to all her friends, he could have a nice room in the home instead of having to sleep in the basement, and they could do this and that together! Youmu thought about doing it with Anon, but it just wouldn't be too romantic. He never really returned her kisses, and when she bathed him he always turned away from her and was silent. She knew that if she tried to make him have sex with her, he'd just lay there with the same defeated look in his eyes, and she didn't like that idea at all. But Youmu is quite frankly getting frustrated and she really hoped Anon would come around on his own without her having to do anything to him.

what's with this one?

>>43136042
Sounds like he just needs to play along for long enough. Hopefully he is a good actor!

>>43136189
Youmu's nothing if not straightforward and earnest!
she knows dishonesty when she sees it, and after years of Yuyuko and Yukari's bullshit, she's got a pretty low tolerence when it's not them doing it!
After the amount of times she's threatened to chop off anon-kun's schlong for looking at Yuyuko too much (2 seconds), it might be a bad idea to do something that'd really piss her off!

>>43136258
It's okay, Stockholm Syndrome is sure to set in any day now!

>>43134564
at this point Yuyuko should just get her boss Eiki to take care of this

>>43136612
She doesn't care THAT much!

>>43136612
Youmu getting a special lecture from Eiki of how keeping a man locked up is wrong no matter how much "love" Youmu has put into it!
Youmu not listening to any of it as she thinks about how much she wants to cuddle you right now!
Youmu getting her head smacked by Eiki whenever the Enma notices the gardener daydreaming too much!
Youmu coming down to the basement afterwards to cuddle with Anon for the night after a light dinner she made for how tired she is!

>>43079119
Gentlemen, do not wish me luck
I'm going to see how deep I can bury myself in fox tits.

>>43104940
Goddamn fucking lucky bastard.

>>43079119
Shit... Maybe I can hire Tee-wee Herman to make pitfalls around my house to trap her, otherwise I don't know what I can do other than keep my eyes shut and pray she doesn't get rapey.

>>43140865
On it!

>>43079119
Question:
in the hypothetical scenario where the yanhu is after you, do you know or do you have to figure that out as time goes on?
Would a yanAlice try and trap you stealthily, or would she just show up to your house kidnap/rape you?

>>43140918
You'd probably have to figure it out, not that it'd be hard depending on the yan
A yan Alice would be subtle enough and her reach small given her hermit lifestyle.she'd likely use her dolls to stalk you and maybe even gift you one as a spying device, only attempting kidnapping if she thinks you're chasing other girls.

A yan okyuu, yuugi, meiling, etc would all chase you down. They'll probably be a bit subtle at first as they solidify their feelings but it wouldn't take long for them to decide that you belong with them and simply pick you up and carry you off.

>>43140918
the older/more powerful the youkai, the more forceful they'd probably be
Gappy is grabby

>>43141164
>Gappy is grabby
Good thing I'm not into hags.

>>43141164
Gappy is canologicly an autist that is bad at getting her feelings across and extremely awkward even with people she knows. Its why Yuyuko is her only friend and her shikigamis are basically poorly programed computers rather than real familiars.

She'd give you 'hints' like leaving a book on abstinence or something if she thinks you're getting too close with another girl. Maybe she'd even send one of shikigamis to keep you company or to invite you over but she's the type to seethe in silence at home while others are having fun even if she really wants to join in.

Realistically, having any of the sages go yanhu for you is just asking for an incident.

>>43141229
would she be so to a mortal outsider she knows can't struggle?

>>43140991
Bumping into Alice after one of her puppet perfomances!
She seems nice, but a little shy when off stage, maybe she'd like someone to take her out of her shell a little!
I broach the topic to her, she seems a little surprised, yet happy!
She says she lives out in the forest, and doesn't get many visitors, she must get quite lonely!
She goes into how she makes her dolls, it's pretty interesting!
"You sure does spend a lot of time on those dolls", I say!
She laughs and says that she tends to get a little fixated on things sometimes!
I wish I was as dedicated as her!
A few days later, I'm held up discussing some volunteer work with Reimu (She can't afford to pay anyone) when Alice happens to pass by!
She doesn't normally come through the village all that often except for her puppet shows, so I'm a little surprised to see her, and stop paying attetnion to Reimu for a second!
As Alice walks up, looking like she wants to talk with me, Reimu notices and snaps if i'm even listening!
I apologize, and say I'll talk to her later, before miss Hakurei pouts and storms off!
Alice seems a little apprehensive, asking how I know Reimu, I tell her that I do a little work for her sometimes!
Alice seems tense, it must be her social awkwardness kicking in in the village!
I ask her what's wrong!
Alice hesitates, before saying she left one of her dolls at the last performance!
Right on queue, she waves her hand and a blonde doll in a dress jumps out from a side alley, before returning to it's master!
She asks if i'd like to do something, I have to tell her I have plans with Reimu!
(She needs someone to hand out flyers for her latest festival, I think it's not going to work, but the poor girl deserves a little help for what she does)
Alice seems pretty bummed out, I say we can do something later instead!
She apologizes, and says she has a full schedule for the rest of the week!
Alice rushes back home, saying she left some soup boiling on the stove!
I do my work for Reimu, and go to bed, planning to tell her in the morning!
The next day, Reimu looks pretty tired, saying she didn't get much sleep that night, and thanking me for my work!
She seems like she's trying to get me to leave, so I'm quick and do as she wishes!
I see a yellow flash as I leave, must be one of the fairies that frequent the shrine!

>kasen
I remind her that kidnapping and rape is not the hermit way, and she corrects her obsessive behavior. It's as easy as that.

>>43141312
Doubly so, not only does she know your horizons are broadened but if she fell for you despite being an outsider means you're likely not suicidal and she'd be extremely nervous despite gapping into her sandbox.
She'd be afraid of being rejected by you and would likely contrive elaborate scenarios to introduce yourself to her, to make you see her in a better light, flowchart out all possible conversations you'd have with her like some kind of true-blue autist.

Gappy would 100% play the shy and coy girl who misreads all your signals. The dangers comes into play for others around you since its inevitable you'd start chatting up a few girls. You're best bet is to find thr elusive stalker, assuming you can even realize you're being stalked, and try to establish communication. This would look like nothing more than talking into a wall until she musters the courage to put on her haughty act and approaches you.

>>43141164
>>43141229
I bet gappy isn't that bad when you get to know her! I bet all the rumors about her being mean, manipulative, lying about her age, and so on are just that! I bet all gappy needs is another friend! A friend and a hug!

>>43141405
This poor fool, he doesn't know what happens when you tell Kasen "No."

>>43141463

>>43141463
She needs to learn to accept rejection.

>>43141552
If that damn bratty anon would just consent she wouldn't have too!

>>43141704
I'm not a brat! I'm just not interested in her that way.

>>43141799
You walk around shirtless after training, compliment Kasen's animal handling skills, even seriously devote yourself to hermit training!
You're a tease of the highest order and Kasen knows how to deal with teases!

Being a worker for Rinnosuke because you came from the outside world!
Got an order from one "Scarlet Devil Mansion" for some outsider books.
Boss (and bro) Rinnosuke sends you to deliver them!
Being welcomed into the mansion by a friendly chinese girl and maid!
You take the books directly to the library to the mage who ordered them!
Her name is literally "Knowledge", she must be very smart!
She happily takes the books from you!
As you're handing them off to her, she very briefly locks eyes with you and while it didn't last long it feels like a while of the gaze from her studious purple eyes penetrating deep into your own irises.
You feel a bit awkward now as she looks away after taking the books...
Something about her stare...
Something about the way she looked at you...
Makes you feel in danger!
"It's not very often any handsome men get to actually step foot in my library... I must thank you again. Perhaps if I ever order from Rinnosuke again, he'll send you once more."
You just sort of nod and agree and then say goodbye before leaving!
Wondering why she'd added "handsome" while you're on the way back to Kourindou! It was a bit unnecessary!
You hope she doesn't have anything nefarious for you planned if you ever have to go there again...! Sheesh!

>>43140865
>pray she doesn't get rapey
It's rabbit mating season, Anon. Just don't struggle too much and try to enjoy it.

>>43141405
Kasen agrees and thanks you for helping her stay on the path. Then a few days later, a mysterious masked oni breaks into your house and brutally rapes you! She leaves you, but returns every few days to have her way with you. You fear going to bed at night because she might be there. The next time you meet Kasen, she notices how awful you look and eventually is able to make you confess what happened. Kasen comforts you and tells you she'll protect you from that awful oni, and stay close to you do you get the support you need to recover. Kasen is so nice!

>>43141229
Yukari is literally me

>>43141423
people always ask who is gappy and never how is gappy

>>43141973
Of course Patchouli the lazy magician needs the man she fancies to come to her, since she's too fat to go get to him and get him herself! Hah!

>>43142251
Famous last words from anon.......

>>43142251
>>43142296
Her interactions with anon are limited to her wallet!

>>43141973
Of course patchy would consider the average at best anon to be handsome, she really needs to get out more!

>>43141973
Hanging out with the friendly Chinese girl by the gate for a bit after every delivery!

>>43142251
>>43142814
Don't be so harsh on Patche! A lifetime of seclusion makes her awkward around men! In fact, she might not even intend to be yandere but she ends up acting yandere because she just lacks that much experience courting men...

>>43141423
if her issues are just autism rather than genuine amoral evil, I can unironically fix her
the gappy will be happy

>>43142900
FATchy does not deserve a mate. She deserves to die alone like the permavirgin she is.

>>43142900
The Patchy asks everyone in the mansion for dating advice!
Remilia lists a bunch of stuff she read about romance in the books and pretends to have a lot of experience.
Flandere thinks it's boring and walks away.
Sakuya just says she's not the person to ask about it.
Koakuma teases her for not having experience and isn't much help!
Meiling scratches her neck and says that she could get to know much better and see if they have anything in common before asking him to do something they'll enjoy together.
All of the advice was useless!

>>43142967
RUDE!

>>43142971
Patche thinks she just needs to throw what she can at the wall and see what sticks! She decides she'll just go out herself and meet anon and try to strike up a conversation!
Patche leaves the SDM and begins on her journey!
...
Patche returns not a few minutes later having an asthma attack from just the short jog from the library out the front gate!
Maybe she should just stick to the original plan she thought up and bind anon in chains so she can get to know him better next time he stops by to deliver books...

>>43142971
everyone is such a cunt in the SDM

>>43143116
That makes them interesting.

>>43142931
Her issues are definitely both. And if anything, the latter is the appeal.

>>43143136
Of the two, who is the softest?
Patchy is pretty sedentary, but so is Yukari, and Yukari's also a MILF.

>>43143217
Forgot image.
This captcha really fucks with my memory

>>43143217
Normally that would be Patchy, both because of her lifestyle, as mentioned, and because the SDM mainly uses western food.

But Yukari would absolutely use boundary shenanigans to make herself softer if she wanted.

Patchy deserves a husband. If he won't come willingly, she'll take him by force!

>>43143380
Maybe if she wore anything other than the same stinky set of pajamas, men might give her a chance!

>>43143392
She washes her clothes and bathes! She just has multiple pairs that look the same! Don't be rude to her!

>>43143380
If Patche doesn't have a gropable belly I don't want her!

>>43142251
But Koakuma says that if a man comes to you, he likes you. And that its not appropiate for a woman to pursue a man. Surely a knowledgable devil like Koakuma isn't wrong, right?

>>43143833
Despite what Koakuma insists, she's actually too nervous to go all the way with a guy!
She just starts stuttering and stammering whenever someone she likes is talking to her, and she breaks off out of embarassment!

>>43143871
Why is the entire SDM sans Meiling full of perma virgins?

>>43143902
They isolate themselves from the rest of the world, half of them are only active at night and two of them are NEETs. The SDM being normal was a lost cause from the get-go. Though Flan is an easy girl if you really insist on it.

>>43143286
>Mfw I have to deal with Remilia when I could have had a soft, plump NEET reader or the Gap Hag

>>43144026
Swapsies?
I'm pretty sure Gap Granny is too antisocial to actually know what you would look like, and Remy would be easily gaslight inot believing I am in fact you.

>>43144072
I'm pretty sure Yukari would have the inclination that something's up when I appear instead, same with Remilia for you. They're both smart in their own right, Yukari having the superior intelligence though, and could see through the swap as soon as either of us show up.

Additionally, I feel like Yukari would have at least stalked you a bit from afar, maybe using a gap or either of her shikigamis to know what you look like.

Remy... Maybe Sakuya would tell her how I look and any additional information she finds. Though, in an instance where she hasn't seen me she could easily dismiss Sakuya as having given the wrong information, intentionally or otherwise.

>>43144135
just tell sakuya it's better this way.
She might object on the grounds of wanting remy all to herself, but once you tell her that I would be more suitable than yourself in the situation that she loses her anyway, she'll probably accept that compromise.
Oh, and Yukari's a little senile.

>>43143927
Flan has a gigh chance of blowing your dick off, intetionally or not.

>>43144202
I don't know, I feel like Remy would feel insulted by how I just rejected her without even saying it to her. Especially to then throw somebody else in the ring to take my place. At that point she would Sakuya to get me, whilst you just sort of exist.

Yukari could also just be acting this way to test your loyalty to her, and if she's you just up and leave her, then I could see her going for the next best thing, that being me. Though, she could also see it as you playing hard to get, or maybe delude herself into thinking that I'm scoping her out for you.

>>43144278
You assume that we tell them about the swap, when that is not the case.
We simply gaslight them into believing we are the same person, and never reveal the change.
Just say you got a haircut or something, these two are too proud to admit to the world that they got dupe'd

fellas, I don't want to be date raped for the rest of my life

I want to leave Youkai Mountain!

>>43144293
It really just has to be a me thing, but I don't necessarily believe we could do it that easily. Am I wrong for thinking that? Besides, this is what I'm going off of what I know for the characters. I can't really be quite certain if can just gaslight and bullshit our way to the desired result, that being the swap.

>>43143435
sorry patchouli, I'm just not into stripes

>>43144330
she wont do that
she'll wipe your other memories so all you can remember is her

>>43142931
You CANNOT fix youkai! Don't even try! Just marry a nice human girl instead, like you're SUPPOSED TO

>>43144954
Not him but I don't want to fix youkai, I want to become as bad as they are and be evil together.

>>43144954
Yukari would be less of a grump if she had a big baby bump

>>43144954
Not him but I don't want to fix youkai. I want to make them as bad as I am and be evil together.

>>43124997
Just remind him that he's a man at heart and that he likes girls

>>43141973
Patcho effectively earns her keep by building rockets for Remilia every now and then so she probably has a lot of free time, this may finally be what gets her out of the mansion more, the rest of her crew noticing her bettering health and mood all conspire to get her with you

>>43144996
One Yukari is bad enough, the world doesn't need more of them

>>43146905
If you thought that was bad just wait till you find out she's having twins

>>43146905
I would be really curious about how the baby would turn out. If hapas tend to be dysgenic loser retards, i can only imagine how calamitous a half-youkai would be. He'd probably start larping as a communist ethnonationalist of the father's country on /pol/ or something.

>>43151705
Judging how autistic the only actual example, Rinnosuke, turned out they're going to be VERY autistic

>>43151725
It's like homeopathy, but real, with youkai and autism!

>>43151725
Now mix that with Yukarins traits and powers, and you have a megaton-class powderkeg of a youkailet in the making. Class 7 incident guaranteed! The only way the kid doesn't become a complete fuckup is by having an exceptional father, which even then wouldn't guarantee too much with Yukari around.

>>43151822
>>43151734
I can easily see that for every step anon takes in raising him right and teaching wholesome grounded lifelessons Yukari would be there teaching him random youkai nonsense that doesn't even make sense

>>43151725
Well there's also Youmu so that's proof any half-youkai will be autistic.

>>43152013
Youmus more like a half ghost rather than youkai.... kinda?
Either way it doesn't look good for youkai loves

So what offensive term in there for a half-youkai half-human? Gensokyo is so diverse that it must thrive in racism.

>>43152104
probably just the same sort we have for mixed-race people like halfcast, or maybe halfbreed in this case
we only really come up with new slurs when the old ones get banned and no one's banning words in touhou

>>43152104
Youmu is already insulted in all media by calling her halfbaked

>>43151725
Rinnosuke may be an autist but he's still a successful productive citizen and business owner
The gap hag's offspring will be natural politicians, for better or worse

>>43153152
>successful productive citizen and business owner

Has that retard actually ever sold anything lmao?

Day 406 of being trapped in the Palace of the Earth Spirits.
I can hear the wings flapping in the distance, she's searching for me, and when she finds me she's not going to let me escape again next time. She keeps trying to entice me back out into the open, I hear her saying things like "Otto-san? Otto-san! Come out please! Okuu misses you dearly!", but I know better than to trust her. I don't want to spend the rest of my existence down here with these Youkai! I have to get out somehow! I will! I just have to keep hiding and trying until I find the way up so I don't get caught! And now the strangest thing has happened, this strange cat with two tails has started following me around...

>>43153211
Aw, come on. There's worse places to be trapped in than a fancy palace.

>>43153195
yeah, its where everyone gets their fancy outside shit from, or get what they have appraised

>>43153277
Luxury isn't everything.

>>43153211
imagine being scared of a BIRD lamo

>>43153277
That's what you think, until you realize you're standing shoulder to shoulder with a literal nuclear bomb that has the intelligence of a spud. A satori that can just appear and disappear within a mere thought and is the definition of unpredictable. Another satori that can literally read you like a book. All and all, there's at least something to fear.

There's a cat there that carts bodies too, I guess.

>>43153302
A RADIOACTIVE bird!

>>43153302
That "bird" is like 7 foot tall, her incessant desire for cuddles can crush you because she doesn't know when to stop, she wants you to live with her down in BLAZING HELL, and she can vaporize you without even trying if she wanted! Okuu is scary and her dumbness only makes her scarier!

>>43153336
I could live with most of that to be able to live my dream of living in a gothic style palace. The nuclear bomb is probably fine. She hasn't blown up the place so far and even if she did, I'd just die instantly anyways. The disappearing satori, while spooky, would make the place feel like a haunted house, which could be fun. The cat is a welcome addition, as I like cats. The dead bodies might be kind of gross but I'm sure I'd get used to that in time.

The big deal breaker for me is the capital "S" Satori. As someone who is private to a fault when it comes to personal matters, that would be terrible for me.

>>43153377
>>43153339
>>43153336
SCARED
OF
A
BIRD
L A M O

>>43153426
FUCK you Kaguya! How about you take your immortal ass down there in live in a state of perpetual radiation poisoning?

>>43153426
Honestly, I wouldn't mind Okuu. She's a nuclear powerhouse to be fair, but she would never aim that power at you. For her airheaded behavior, she at least knows that you wouldn't be able to live for even a second if unleashed any amount of anger at you. She'd love you too much to not do that. Moreover, she'd direct that anger to something that isn't you. Something or someone is taking your attention away that isn't from the Palace? Vaporized. Okuu wants you with the love the size of 50 Hiroshimas, and bone-cracking cuddles is just the beginning.

>>43153377
your kids will have mighty wings like their mother

>>43153377
Might not be too bad if she lets you have an air conditioner.

>>43153426
The bright side of having 'guya as your yandere is that while she may live forever, you don't.

>>43154298
But getting her to share her immortality is one of the perks with her!

>>43154312
Why would you want to live forever with that psycho lesbian?

>>43154317
you're going to have to love it, cause once the rabbits pin you down, there's no going back

>>43154322
The rabbits would have to catch me first, and I'm a fast runner.

>>43154317
If she's a lesbian then she probably has gash to be chasing right? I'm more or less just personal jester.

>>43154364
either the accusation was slander, she's actually bi, or she has decided she wants heirs and that you're the one to sire them

>>43154374
Not a bad deal!

How do I tell if I'm dealing with a yandere or just another sex-starved youkai?

>>43154443
their insistence on calling you Husband

>>43154443
Persistence. A sex starved youkai will go straight for rape and move on when she is done while a yandere will put more effort into maintaining an exclusive hold on you and will rarely take no for an answer.

>>43079119
is this going to be like chain of memorys?

>>43154657
Gonna have to keep a journal of her lies to make sure you stay informed on what is happening with you every time you forget!

>>43139125
lucky bastard

>>43154676
forget about what?

woo

I think you could repel most yanhus by pissing your pants. They're too refined to obsess over someone who pisses themselves.

>>43079119
how would that work?

>>43155206
Her mom is a God Anon and this is when she's still cute enough that crying to mommy that she really wants "that one" will actually work.

>>43154298
So i'm gonna be okay?

>>43155482
Yeah. Just die.

>>43155499
That doesn't sound okay.

>>43155510
There are worse places to be than in the care of a well off woman with a household to serve her.

>>43155762
until she starts nagging and nagging and nagging about what you need to do, how you need to act, and why you should always be endlessly pampering her royal self
her return will be to dead fish on the exceedingly rare occasions she lets you fuck her
enjoy the next thousand millennia

>>43155786
Having to be Kaguya's personal jester is a small price to pay for free room and board.

>>43155896
it really isn't
believe me I fucking know the experience and it really isn't

>>43155910
I am an entertainer at heart as well as mentally unstable when it comes to matters of romance. She will not be able to stand eternity with me.

>>43155176
Some may be into it, and those are the girls you don't want to end up with.

>>43155216
>>43155206
TWO Yanhus for the price of one?
What a steal!

I think I'm the safest one here. She's 130cm tall, can't do shit.

>>43158790
Just pin the midget down and rape the yandere out of her.

>>43158790
anon, she has the most extensive magical knowledge of any human in gensokyo, and she lives in the woods where she feeds herself
she'll have you trussed up and eating her mystical concoctions that'll make you infatuated with her within an hour

>>43159025
>>43159025
>>43159025

New thread

>>43159043
bruh, relax.
you don't need a new thread before we hit page 9 or 10, and even then a few days of rest are a good thing.

>>43159236
I'm sorry that I'm a retard.

>>43159236
>>43159770
Now kiss and make up

>>43159779
hold on a minute, I was advertised yandere 2hus, not gay matchmaker anons.

>>43159792
Err... well... you see.... um.....

>>43079119
I got the chicken girl

i'm gonna stretch her asshole