/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Please use my bed tonight....

There is only one, but......

......uummmm

Let me brace myself, okay?

>>45065432
>>45065452
>>45065471
Nice try, Alice.

>>45065432
shes busy with the pissy

WANT FUCK ALICE. NEED

>>45065493

>>45065432
Not my first choice but I guess I can.

>>45065650
Not good enough you have to truly love her anon

>>45065432
Yes please, I desperately want a wife

>>45066038
What about a /jp/ anon cosplaying as Alice

>>45066214
Sorry but its just not the same

>>45065432
I'd fall head over heels for the first women to show me that kind of love and affection.

>>45065432
>Would you make Alice your wife?
No.

>>45066284
Literally the same, both are autistic losers in a dress

Only if she promises not to hang with that NIGGER woman friend of hers. Alice is honestly prime wife material.

>>45066846
The 2hus this artists draws are super extra cute but the men look like hellspawn demons

Alice and Nazrin are made for each other

>>45065432

>>45066894
Aside from being largely faceless, they look fine to me.

>>45065432
Definitely

>>45069808
Are you a ghost, anon? Who's the guy to her right then?

>>45070604
Alice's husband who is me, and i couldnt be more alive at her side

>>45065432
Yes, but only for the sake of oyakodon.

>>45070704
is it really oyakodon if you spend time only with the mother?
more like chicken WHITOUT eggs.

She is ready

Arisu...

>>45065432
No, I want her to make me her husband

>>45065432
I do. if she is a virgin.

>>45084379
Alice had sex with another man 3 years ago but she regrets it.

>>45065432
I will make her my boyfriend.

>>45065432
Yes, I would cheat with Shanghai too

She is a type of a woman that will cut your penis in sleep because she had to wash the dishes at her birthday. Avoid the psycho

>>45085510
Avoid the namefag

>>45086201
what namefag
surely not the one you shouldn't have given that (You) in the first place

I'm sorry Arisu, you're too bullyable and I like sociopathic women.
That's right, I'm going to marry your tormentor and there's nothing you can do about it.

>>45087408
You'll be disappointed to find Alice's real tormentor is herself.

>>45087408
Marrying Mai will just lead to you becoming her new Alice or Yuki.

>>45065432
She smells awful and is weird. Dressing up nicely can't fix a loser like Alice

>>45090079
She smells nice and takes a bath everyday, cut the slandering

>>45090079
>She smells awful
Can confirm.

>>45089259
But just imagine the mutual hatesex.
Just picture a scenario where the two of you utterly detest one another but on such a level that neither can resist being without the other.
... Maybe Yuki's just a masochist after all.

>>45090237
The water in that pic is so dirty that you can hardly see her submerged body. She's practically in mud

>>45090237
I look like this

>>45090782
I can smell you through the screen Alice. It's gross

>>45073225
It counts because Alice has to watch.

Disgusting creature

>>45090732
>>45090862
She is clean now

But she'll cheat on me with the thief

>>45086201
shut up alice. you don't get to call someone out.
if you weren't ban evading, you would've your stupid trip on and everything.

>>45065432
YES

>>45093933
i have no idea what you're talking about schizo
go back to your discord

I hate white women

Wonderful arisu

>>45103207
I will make a dozen of these with Alice

>>45065432
I would have a purely platonic relationship with Alice,

>>45065432
She can be my second wife.
After her maid.

>>45126324
How very considerate of you to allow Alice to continue to live out her childhood experiences with Yumeko. Maybe she'll go back to being normal after a hundread or so spankings.

>>45065432
Uhh, this one seems a good bit out of my league.
Any advice on how to trick an Alice into liking you long enough to slap a ring on her?
All I can think of is to go for those hypnosis classes and learn some contrived blackmail setups...

>>45126648
Express your interest in Alice to Shinki and she will waste no time in arranging everything for you.

>>45065432
no, i love Hourai

>>45127292
Im only love alice

>>45065710
One can learn to do so in time.

I wouldn't marry a white woman

>>45152608
you won't marry any woman.

>>45152608
>>45154688
I would

No. I don't want to be subjected to violent thigh sex.

>>45164568
Why would u marry a white woman?

>>45167067
Because is Alice

>>45167067
>>45178263

>>45179998
Yes i will

When I take a dump I think of Alice.

Yeah i would

Bump

>>45238977
I'm hungry!

>>45245820
Dozo!

>>45245820

>>45260542
Alice is literally me

>>45260567
Let's be alice toguether!
>insert crayon Alice image

>>45260567
I'll fuck alice

>>45260567
have you considered having sex?

I'd only marry Alice if she let me smell her breath and lick her armpits every single day. She agrees to this and I'll mount her bare every single day and night until she pops out a dozen plus kids.

care for some lemonade, sirs?

>>45274292
You are so nice alice! Now please get in the wheelchair.

>>45274292
That is clearly tea, Alice. That, or you're very dehydrated!

>>45278559
She rathers fly

>>45283621
I don't get it, if touhou girls know they're going to be flying 90%+ of the time why wear skirts, which will expose them instantly? Are they sluts or do they simply not care because it's only ever other girls (and no moids) who will potentially get a peek?

Alice panties

>>45283742
they wear grandma underwear nothing is gonna be shown.

>>45294143
what underwear now

"HEY ALICE! Good morning daze!"
"Good morning, Marisa," said Alice with a sigh. "find a place to live yet?"
"No, Alice, not yet, can I stay here for a few more days? Pleeease??" With hands joined and a mischievous smile, saying no would be a sin.
"Marisa, you're my friend, but you need to find a place, this house is too small for you, me and Boyfr-"
"Yay! Thanks, Alice! I'll gift you lots of mushrooms for this, I promise!"
With that, Marisa put in her earphones and went back to reading her book. Alice opened her mouth to say something but decided it wasn't worth it. She walked over to her boyfriend.
"Any progress?"
"Not much, no. I don't know what's her endgame. She says she can't live in her house because of pest control, or something. Can't find any other place to live either, so she freeloads here, and dirties up the place." said Alice as she rubbed her forehead.
"It's fine, i will make dinner for 3, don't worry. It's on me, anyway"
"It's not about that, boyfriend-kun. Do you think she is in the right?"
"I suppose it's no problem to help your friend once in a while, right? Although in this case, it does feel like being taken advantage of."
"Exactly, and she never goes out anywhere, and doesn't grant us half an ounce of privacy. She even stuck with us the other day when we explicitly told her we were going on a date."
Tricky situation, but honestly it was not much of a concern for boyfriend-kun because it was neither his house nor his friend that was involved. He decided to plead the fifth.
"You like this situation, don't you? The sole man in an empty house surrounded with 2 beautiful women?" said a narrow-eyed Alice.
Why do women always think this way, he wondered.
"Two? Haha, don't flatter yourse-AAAARGGHH LETMEGOIWASJUSTKIDDING
She's an annoying loudmouth, Alice, she's not my type, so don't let your mind wander too much."
Boyfriend stole a glance at Marisa, saw her engrossed in her book, and stole a quick kiss with Alice.
With that, he went into the kitchen and started making preparations for dinner. Come to think of it, how did Marisa even get that iPod?

///

"HEYYY KOURIN! Got any cool shit today?"
"Yukari gave me this weird thing, it can play songs and we figured out how to charge it too. I am not fond of it and I don't think anyone will buy it, so you can have it for free, but please, Marisa, don't steal or break anything else", said a solemn Kourin without removing his face from his book.
"Eh, don't you have something that will cause a girl to fall out of love?"
"What? I don't sell black magic. Isn't that your domain?"
"I don't know what to do daze! Alice is in love with some thug! Poor Alice is just too innocent to notice, but that fool is going to take advantage of her! I just know it! I want to protect her! I told her so but she didn't believe me! "
"Don't meddle in other people's affairs, Marisa, even if the person is close to you. Alice can make her own decisions."
"B-but Kourin! You have to do something!"
"Don't drag me into this, Marisa. And...", he hesitated, "it is not my place to say, but I've worked with the guy, he seems pretty sincere and gentlemanly. Just let them be."
"You just don't understand! They even live in the same house! And-"
"Look Marisa, i have no interest in the love lives of others. I don't have a solution to sell you. If you're so concerned, just go and live in their house. Maybe she'll get tired and kick out both of you."
"Oh! Nice idea daze!" and Marisa pocketed the iPod and the earphones before flying away.

///

At the doll mansion, dinner was being served. There were only 2 chairs at the table. The man excused himself and retired to his study, saying he would eat at his study table. Alice and Marisa sat at the dinner table. Alice was mad. She was staring daggers at her witch friend. She was also angry with her boyfriend. He would rather eat alone than tell the unwelcome guest to get fucked. What a spineless idiot.
"Thanks for the food Arisu! I'm absolutely full!"
"My boyfriend made it, and he also buys ingredients, so don't thank me"
"Alice, he is a stupid loser! You can do better than him! He seems like a real sadist, he's going to leave you hurt! If he hurts you i wouldn't be able to take it!"
"Marisa, it is nice to see that you care for me, but I can take care of myself. Besides you can't even decide if he's a playboy sadist or a virgin loser. Now go get some sleep. It's late."
Marisa slept in one corner of the living room, and in the other corner was alice on a couch and Boyfriend on the floor, having taken the L again.
Of course, Marisa would not sleep until Boyfriend was fast asleep and snoring.
Alice however, did not sleep. Once she heard Marisa snoring like a pig, she quietly woke up her boyfriend.
"What do you think about this? Why does she freeload ar my house?"

In his half asleep state, he blurted out "your fault for stuffing all the rooms with dolls, now we don't have anywhere but the living room to sleep, besides i think your friend is here because she thinks we're perverts, or something." And he went back to sleep.

The next evening.
"Hey girls, brought some sake! Let's get sloshed!" Free lodging, free food, and now free sake? Marisa had made it in life. Alice was drunk. Alice grabbed hold of Boyfriend's arm, as her friend looked on uncomfortably. Soon after, Alice wrapped herself around his arm, her face red with the alcohol. She just got an idea to get rid of the unwelcome guest. Playing with her hair, she asked,
"Hey Boyfriend, am I attractive?"
"huh, is that even a question? You're beautiful!"
Alice hugged him tight.
"No, you fool, i mean, do you like me as a woman?"
"O-of course I do!"
What? What are they talking about? Marisa was trying to comprehend what they were saying, but it was too fast for her.
"What do you like about me, then?"
"I-i, like, i, uh-." Boyfriend's face was red as a tomato as he eyed his girlfriend's body.
"I don't believe you." Alice was through with unbuttoning 3 buttons on her boyfriend's shirt, and was sensually caressing his chest.
"Won't you prove your love?"
Alice locked eyes with Marisa , and then with her boyfriend. Their noses touched, very slowly. Marisa felt like a dirty voyeur. The kisses she had seen in movies weren't half as passionate as this one.
Before Marisa realized it, Boyfriend was behind Alice, his hands dangerously close to her breasts.
'Dont mind if I do, although this is kind of embarassing, good thing i have some alcohol in my system' he thought as he started groping her. Alice was making such sensual sounds as Marisa had never dreamt of. She froze in shock, hugging a bottle of sake for support, as boyfriend undid Alice's blouse and revealed a perfect pair of breasts in a black-coloured bra. Alice's moaning was getting lewder still, as boyfriend massaged her nipples.
Alice turned around, and slowly slid down. She unzipped her boyfriend's pants, and slowly took out his penis.
Marisa suddenly jumped into action. "H-hey Alice, i... You're drunk... This is a bad decision, come lets go-"
Alice pushed a drunk and feeble Marisa away
"Shut up, Marisa. Just sit down there and observe." Marisa observed,

'I-is this what they call a blowjob? What, what is she doing... Oh God that looks disgusting... Those noises are too lewd! Oh, I've heard of white stuff coming out after a while! What will she do when that happens? Ew, she's covered in it!
W-what? She is licking it off her fingers? She's smiling? At me? Is it really tasty? What is wrong with her?'

"Look closely, Marisa, you're going to witness true love now."
He took her by the arms and pushed her down onto the futon. He held both her wrists with one hand, and slid the other one down her pants.

'Oh, oh god, Alice is moaning louder than ever! Is this what they call fingering? Her legs are shaking! I feel so dirty watching this! Wait, what is he doing? Is he done with that? Where are her panties? Where are HIS pants now? He's on top! They're holding hands! They're kissing! Again!'

"Please be gentle!"

Boyfriend's hips started moving. Boyfriend got down on his elbows, and grabbed the lady. Alice felt nice and warm in his embrace. She put her hands on his back, offering him some more embrace. Pleasure is a great thing, but comfort is better, and they were both comfortable in each other's embrace. Alice even locked her legs. They finished soon after as Marisa looked on in horror.

'Alice looks so happy...'

"Love ya, Alice"
"Love you too, Boyfriend"

"Did you observe that, Marisa? It will be a useful experience for your future self", giggled Alice.
"Care for some tea, Miss Marisa?" asked boyfriend, putting on his pants, as if nothing had happened.
"N-no, i just remembered something important." And Marisa walked out briskly, without glancing back.
"Holy shit, those two are too bold, to think they'd do something like that right in front of the eyes of a third person, i can't see my friend being that lewd, no way I'm going into her house again before knocking 3 times at least... can't believe how happy she looked" mumbled she to herself as she walked out into the night.

"Finally, she's gone," sighed Alice.
"Yes, but I don't think I'd be able to meet eyes with any of your friends after this. Aren't you embarrassed, Alice?"
"What are you talking about? I made love to the man i love in the house I built. I did nothing wrong."
"In front of guests?"
"It's her fault for being here while we got down and dirty," said Alice, putting on her bra and blouse. "Don't tell me you hated it? Now come on, I'm hungry, let's get something to eat."
"I blew all my money on the sake. I'll make you something at home."

>>45302097
>>45302069
I fucking knew it's all ESLs simping for alice because white woman

>>45306438
Still loving alice

>>45302097
and then alice woke up.

I want Alice to teach me cooking

>>45308906
... I want Alice to tell me it's all going to be okay.

>>45309004
Would you want Alice to give you advice while she cooks?

>>45309400
she keeps saying it's a safe day for some reason

>>45302069
Midget got what she deserved.

DJ Alice
What will she play?

>>45065517
/jp/ moves so slowly that I actually thought this was the same post with anonymous and Alice made several months ago.

>>45309403
she means you can eat as much as you want without getting fat
>>45309400
>>45308906
>blue eyed wh*te woman
holy shit imagine the blandness

>>45309692
NIGGER rap to appease "someone"

Scarf alice~

you can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant

>>45309959

>>45321814
Arisu be making boiled tomatos

>>45321778
can I get alice herself

>>45065432
I want a girl that keeps peeing herself as my wife.

ALice

just started reading bohemian archive in jap red
I thought it was only fanon alice who is a filthy carpet muncher but now this has me thinking zon actually made her so. You all lied to me

>>45331708
Zun only wrote one of those stories

>>45331812
>Zun only wrote one of those stories
Ah fuck, it was an unofficial work

>>45327707
You're in luck. Alice is so free that Shinki will literally pay you to marry her.

>>45341902
I'll marry alice for free

>>45331925
He wrote the one where Aya bothers Reimu and Marisa and they all hang out. The one where Aya talks about shitting out extras for the tengu newspaper competition

>>45065432
can I marry Shanghai as well?

>>45360022
Probably the preferable option.

>>45360022
>>45363251
Shanghai only loves alice

>>45352293
he works for no monetary compensation

>>45371449
Alice is more than enough for me

I had a dream where there was a game in which you were tasked with running Makai and one of your objectives was getting a wife.
If you failed to find one in time you'd be given Alice as a bride and I found that very funny.

>>45383715
Wow, that's like how some Harvest Moon games will kick you out of town for not getting married, but it's even worse!

>>45331708
It's canon

>>45383715
What if you married alice before the time was up?

>>45386523
Why would anon want to achieve a game over on purpose silly!

>>45389543
Me. I like to see all endings, including bad endings and all unique game overs.

>>45383715
I'd with all pleasure if that means i will get alice

Alice's last speaking appearance was closer to Mima's last appearance than to the present

Always alive for me

I'm going to Alice (pic related is me)

>>45409741
I will make alice happy

>>45411031
Alice doesn't deserve to be happy

>>45411040
Alice DESERVES more than anyone else to be happy especially with me

>>45411040
This Anon >>45415784 deserves to be happy with Alice.

>>45423998
This

>>45423998
Please don't put that anon down like that, nobody deserves that
>>45432439
Please respect yourself more

>>45432484
I love Alice and i dont care about what you say or think, but you are the disrespectful one for devaluing alice

>>45309813
Same here. I was expecting an anon to post the Punisher again.

See you in hell, Alice.

>>45470731
You won't see her there.

>>45464381
Alice, did Shinki make space hyperbolic again?
You know that doesn't bode well for the fabric of reality...

Do not let my thread die anon!

>>45481396
I got tired of keeping the youmu thread alive. those retarded sluts don't deserve all those efforts, i have better things to do. that flat chested midget of a half ghost better let me smash when i end up there, or I'm going to rape her to death and make her a full ghost like her fatty mistress.

>>45472340
Sacchan invited herself and Konngara over at Alice's place for a night of drinking. At some point they decided to read from the Grimoire of Alice for a laugh and decided to redecorate the spacetime inside of Alice's house with Ultimate Magic. Poor Alice will be fixing for months what her sister and friend broke in mere minutes...

>>45488122
Alice have been drinking with me instead

>>45481396
Don't make me get the shovel.

>>45495656
Alice looking very soft and cuddleable here, much like normal!

>>45495656
You can't cope with the spacial anomalies by drinking forever. Eventually you are going to have to help Alice and fix them.

>>45508414
I will

>>45488122
And then Elis caught wind of Alice's forced house parties, and then the REAL devestation was wrought!!

>>45515349
She's never even considered cleaning her own room!

Drinking tea with alice

>>45498711

Alice will spend Christmas alone...again! lol

>>45415784
Anon that man is to Alice's right. (You) are an invisible ghost who is third-wheeling their time together!

>>45548198
Nope is me
>>45548198
She also will be with me

>>45547630
You and her have a lot in common, anon.

>>45556380
Believe it or not, I already have plans...unlike Alice lmao

>>45547630
She will be with me.

>>45556467
What are you gonna be doing alone?

>>45552735
>nope is me
So yes, you are not there with Alice

>>45562520
Well, but the lifeless shanghai doll here? Is (you)

>>45562149
It's ok Alice, you don't need to try this hard.

>>45065432
Yes I would.

>>45547630
Alice enjoys being alone thank you very much!

>>45065432
No

alice's thread won't make it to chistmas
wwwwwwwwww

>>45592380

Alice?

>>45579255
This, Alice is better off being in solitude than being around some retarded moid who can only think of sex.

I would need to ask marisa first for a fertility potion/eirin drug,as a prank of course! Its not like i wanna knock up alice or anything haha. .

>>45593454
let me know if you knock her up accidentally. child support is expensive especially in a gynocracy like G'sokyo.

>>45592592

>>45598575
it seems like alice will have a guest for christmas after all!

Merry Christmas to Alice and her mother that has just comes to visit her

>>45606406
Alice finally finding a boy that likes her!
That boy willing to make the dangerous trip to visit her in the forest!
Alice is elated and always triple checks to make sure things right!
Shinki throwing a wrench in things!
Alice trying to get her to leave, it doesn't work!
Shinki guilting her into spilling the beans!
Shinki is elated that Alice suckered- i mean charmed a young man!
The boy visiting Alice at the worst time!
Introductions!
Shinki talking to the boy as Alice's mother, making sure he's a good man!
Shinki accidently charming him even more than Alice ever could!
Alice getting a step-dad instead of a boyfriend!
Shinki secretly flustered because she's just as much of a permavirgin as Alice

Will Alice ever be able to lose her virginity?

>>45606790
I wont do that stop coming with that bullshit

>>45609700
I will definitely impregnate this bro, i will impregnate her so hard

>>45610280
but anon think of the consequences. . .

>>45610382

>>45065432
no

why is Alice so creepy and disgusting always talking about souls and shit

>>45628913
Anon, when a woman tells you she loves you in body and sovl...

>>45628913
why is Alice so cute and adorable always talking about souls and heart

>>45644636
KNOCK UP

>>45562793
I don't like this I don't want to be Alice's doll I'm a human!

>>45065432
We will make an entire soccer team of beautiful children

>>45302069
>>45302097
Not sure if this is AI generated, but if it is actually hand-typed, well done, quality content.

>>45656993
Thanks
No, I wrote it myself, you could probably find some goofs. I tried to run it through chatgpt after I was done writing to see if there are any mistakes but it straight up refused to do anything with the text.
As for the story i had fantasies of Alice shagging her bf in front of Marisa to make her feel jealous, or being so madly horny and in love that she shags her bf even before the guest leaves. I thought it would be a good plot so I put my thoughts to the keyboard
I'm trying to improve, whenever I write anything I realise it is just a mix and match or who said what/thought about what, and a brief description of things.

Alice on new years

>>45667960
i will make her a mother so she wont be alone anymore!

>>45667960
This will be her year, I'm sure of it

>>45667960
>>45668583
>>45669662
Is already her year i will hug her

Happy new year alice!

Happy new year, Alice!

B-bump....

>>45680086
bumping alice at night

>>45680420
ALL DAY LONG!

>>45680420
>>45684869
Every day with Alice!

all is

Didn't she kill a bunch of people in Dolls in Pseudo Paradise?

>>45686903
She's canologically a murderer who joined in a group of guys trying to find a new home only to get preyed upon one by one by her

>>45687254
canologically one character has nothing to do with the other

>>45065432
Nice try, Alice.

>>45690908
Yeah okay, Shanghai

die, Die, DIE!

>>45708605
Bold words for a man with no shovel.

>>45708605
SHUT UP!

>>45673271
Something is off about her cum chalice...

>>45686903
That's the most plausible theory considering the girls at that moment but ZUN when asked did say he did not remenber who the killer was so either he regretted connecting Alice to DiPP(and just bringing back Alice to windows in general) or it wasnt Alice in the first place

Alice is a good girl tho