/jp/ - Otaku Culture

follow this formula, it's HELL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyaF_gCKWsI&feature=channel_video_title

>You know how /v/ has their canonical list of shit design decisions that put together would form the worst vidya of all time?
No, I don't know. Why would /jp/ers look at /v/?

- Massive amount of random choices that take you to the same BAD END hours later
- Only one save slot
- Loading a save returns you to the beginning of the chapter you saved in, and chapters are a hundred pages long
- Sex scenes are written by a middle schooler
- Everything is Google Translated from English to Japanese, Swahili and back to English
- Every character is a shitty tsundere

There was an entire chapter/episode about this in The World God Only Knows.

>>7132508
So Flyable Heart and Katawa Shoujo combined?

just make mugen do everything

>>7132519
/thread

>>7132508
I'd say a middle schooler could make for better sex scenes than Nasu at least

>>7132508
>- Massive amount of random choices that take you to the same BAD END hours later

Cross Channel?

subahibi + tsukihime + clannad

Springtime For Hitler: The Movie: The Game: The Visual Novel Adaptation

>>7132535
>Cross Channel

You.. You can't get a bad end in Cross Channel. What the hell were you doing?

School Days + Umineko + Tsukihime + Kira Kira + Wanko to Kurasou

>>7132551
"'Da ze' 'da ze' why does she say this 'da ze' the Ordinary Magician has never said 'da ze'!"

>>7132551
You mean
The Movie: The Musical: The Movie: The Game: The Visual Novel Adaptation

- Default font is Comic Sans. You can change it to Wingdings if you want. Available color schemes are red on green background and green on red background. Available font sizes are 6 point and 36 point.
- Text speed is one letter per second. After every word the game waits for a mouse click confirmation.
- Skip function is activated by pressing any key, after which the game will speed through pages at 300 lines/second. If it reaches the chapter end it will restart the chapter. Skip mode is deactivated by pressing Ctrl-Alt-F3-z-u-n and waiting thirty seconds for the command to register.

Translated by moogy

- All heroines have a strong tendency to randomly die and come back to life

The H-scenes have no CG (just a black background) and last 30 minutes of clicking through hundreds of pages of "ahhn" or something similar. Oh and no voices either.

>>7132560
>>7132540
Muv-Luv Alternative + Phantom of Inferno DVD Version + Violent Semen Inferno: Maiden Rape Assault + Swan Song

You are the audience. I am the creator. I outrank you!

There is exactly one good heroine. The heroine isn't romanceable and dies 10% into the game. The rest of the game everybody else talks about how much the dead girl sucked. You are forced to agree with them.

>>7132584
all key games

>>7132586
mahou shoujo ai 3

Choices that make little logical sense regarding their outcome - See: FOOTJOB OF FATE

- There are random gameplay sequence with no relation to the plot or anything else, and they are entirely luck based. Failing causes a game over. Picking a wrong choise somewhere during the game makes at least one such sequence game-theoretically impossible, but there's no way to determine this.
I'm really not referring to Sengoku Rance even though it does occasionally arouse such thoughts.

Art by Ryu07
Plot by Circus
Dialogue by Type Moon

>How to make the worst possible VN
Be Bioware.

>>7132597
Why does this sound so familiar? Anyone?

>>7132598
>all key games
It said ALL heroines, more or less only one KEY heroine can die per game.

Each heroine has only one flag for their route that is triggered by a seemingly pointless choice.
Also, the save feature is broken so you can't save before choices.

Most of the choices mean nothing. No matter what you pick, nothing gets flagged and the text isn't any different.
Dialog is all written in an unironic kawaii neko pocky XD style.
The main character is a mouthpiece for someone with very strong political beliefs.

- There are several interesting routes, but completing any of them instantly spoils the others into an abyss of uninterestingness

It's popular.

> Bad is chosen from 2 seemingly innocuous events that would have very little repercussions in real life

> In order to get the good end you must stay faithful to one heroine throughout the game, except for that one time where it would be obvious to anyone with half a brain that you shouldn't do it but you're really supposed to.

> Every heroine you don't chose gets raped horribly To the point where it starts becoming less shocking and more boring

> There's a morality element at play, sleeping around with everyone doesn't affect your morality, refusing to share your last piece of bread on a day that you barely had any lunch drops it immensely

- 500 pages of detailed descriptions of the main character sitting in a classroom, sitting in a bus, sitting in a train, cooking, eating and defecating.

- All choices that don't match with the writer's worldview, no matter how seemingly sensible, lead to immediate and unnecessarily sadistic death. The writer is an Objectivist Marxist.

Story: Arc
Visuals: Mugen
System: Message
Music: Zun!bar
Bonus scenario: Bangcock

- To unlock any of the hetero routes you first have to play through the route where you take it up the ass from a sumo wrestler. The routes relock every time you complete one of them.

Oh wait I have more

- The only interesting character is the only one that you can't romance

- All the characters are generic moeblobs with no definable characteristics.

- Loading a previous save requires you to navigate through 5 menus before you reach the option

- The best end is reserved for the loudmouthed braggart that repeatedly harassed and annoyed you throughout the game all the while acting as a spokesperson for the creator's insane beliefs. All other ends involve you giving blowjobs to hobos under an overpass for beans.

- Despite any previous decision made your character will act like an insane idiot randomly to make the plot work.
This includes, but is not limited to:
Abandoning a character for no adequately explained reason
Attacking other character for trying to help them
Sleeping around after espousing for days about how much they care for a single character
Any and all acts of vandalism or theft despite there never being a good reason for it ever

-Planning by AoC
-Sex scenes by Nasu
-Translated by Flyable Heart's translators
-Marketed by KSdevs

-Your character can turn gay at the drop of a hat, there's no warning for it and your only notice is at the end, when he starts fantasizing about another male character

Whenever there is some kind of a problem, the most logical and reasonable ways to solve it are not even presented as options. The most logical choice out of the options gives invariably locks you to a route towards a horrible deathrape. The correct solution is always to act like a total assclown. All characters will then berate the main character for being such an assclown, even though that was the only thing that worked.

Whenever there is some kind of a problem, the most logical and reasonable ways to solve it are not even presented as options. The most logical choice out of the options given invariably locks you to a route towards a horrible deathrape. The correct solution is always to act like a total assclown. All characters will then berate the main character for being such an assclown, even though that was the only thing that worked.

I got a very simple one that I think we can all agree with: Unavoidable NTR scenes

>>7132746
Oh shit

>>7132783

YES

Constantly insults the player. Not even the main character: insults the actual human playing it. Checks his username from Windows registry so it can insult him by name.

>>7132807
>>7132780

Combine these 2 and you have the worst VN of all time.

Nasu sex scenes are pretty bad, but in an awesome sort of way.

>Checks his username from Windows registry so it can insult him by name.

The only funny and original thing said in this entire thread.

A mystery story that pretends to be solvable but the culprit is chosen at random one page before the end.

This has actually been done. Bonus points if you recognize it. No, it's not Umineko.

>>7132854
Forest

>>7132807

My face will not remove itself from my palm.

What the fuck

Timed underwater escort missions.

>>7132863
Forest is not really a mystery story

>>7132854

Ripper.

>>7132740
>- 500 pages of detailed descriptions of the main character sitting in a classroom, sitting in a bus, sitting in a train, cooking, eating and defecating.

BUT THEN HOW WOULD THEY BE DEEP IF THEY DON'T ELABORATE SHIT NOBODY CARES ABOUT

>>7132922
You obviously haven't read Umineko, have you...

This is just a slow start. In the end the readers are being called stupid goats, anthropomorphed into actual allegorical goats(think Baphomets) and then get one after another killed horribly while they run at the storyteller screaming what it was they expected from the story.

I shit you not, it is there.

>>7135693
>what it was they expected from the story
If you mean that retarded, incomprehensible crap, than yes, they are goats.