/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Post resume and body sizes, and we'll talk.

dude that's fucked up take this shit to /d/

Fag.

My dream is to marry a rich loli who eventually grows into a titty monster with curled hair and never do anything ever.

You want to be a Mexican?

>>8091488
like weight?

>clean his house
you wouldn't
>I'll cook
you wouldn't

>>8091504
height, weight, et cetera.

Doing lewd things with a submissive femboy maid who could pass off easily as a female in public sounds interesting.

If you were 2d

3d traps are typically disgusting.

It actually takes up a lot of time to be a maid

you literally would not have enough time to browse /jp/ even

>>8091546
I wouldn't want to

>>8091548
NOT ONE OF US

>>8091548
That's some bullshit and you know it

>>8091546
i highly doubt occasional cleaning and preparing frozen foods takes that much time

>>8091555

My apartment is 200 sq ft. I'll have my maid take care of my torrents while I'm away.

>>8091563
>200 sq ft
Do you live in a shipping container?

Well you know what I want?

I want love. I want to meet someone whom I can't live without, someone who's life I make better just by existing and does the same for me. Somebody who makes life worth living for my own selfish reasons and worth living because it makes such a wonderful person happy beyond belief.

I want a meaningful relationship. Somebody who will delve my deepest secrets and treasure what she finds. Somebody who will look at me with terrified vulnerability in her eyes when she lets me do the same, and who smiles her first true, unburdened smile in years when I like what I find.

I want somebody worth dying for.

So take your maid fantasy and stuff it up your ass.

>>8091569
I can fake love.

if someone were to become my maid i'd also offer him his own room and ask him to bring his computer so he doesn't miss anything from home or get bored

forever affordable cleaning lady

>>8091563
>he can't write a script instructing his computer to take care of his torrents for him
I don't know about you, but Remilia finds that hilarious.

>>8091569
This feeling in my chest...
It hurts. Why are my eyes stinging?

>>8091569
So, you want an imaginary person?

>>8091569

>mfw she leaves you for an alpha, and sucks his cock while talking to you on the phone while you crying, until she just hangs up on you and pretends later that it was an accident and that she was eating a popsicle.

>>8091569
;_;

>>8091566

My computer is right beside my futon. I only fold it up when I cook because my kitchen doesn't have a fan. My kitchen sink is where I brush my teeth, since the washroom only has a shower stall and a toilet.

>>8091574

I have a very high powerlevel on certain torrent communities so I have to be on top of things.

yo where the fujoshi at?

>>8091572
You're a monster.

>>8091581
Well, sure your powerlevel's impressive. I'm saying, though, that tasks you can instruct a live-in maid to do, you can probably automate.

Guess what guys, this is what 3d marriage used to be like before feminism ruined it for guys.

>>8091586

Sabre is my meido and she is not a fujoushi.

俺のワイフを侮辱するな、この糞ニート野郎.

>>8091582
This is what makes NTR so great. The poor guy finally finds a girl who solves all his emotional problems and he makes her his precious refuge from the cruelties of the world. But then a superior male whisks her away, and you find out that she resented the guy the whole time, and was planning on leaving him when the first opportunity arose. The thought of him growing suspicious and his heart breaking and him eventually pleading with the Alpha to fuck his girl while he watches in the corner. It's magical.

>>8091582
>mfw
>greentext
>madoka reaction image

Welcome to /jp/, f/a/g. On this board, all of the initiates have to break into a glory hole and *slurp slurp* dude cock.

>>8091594
>eventually pleading with the Alpha to fuck his girl while he watches in the corner
No amount of suspension of disbelief could get me to buy into this.

>>8091485
Are you a girl?
how big are your boobs?

>>8091600
I'm a girl on the inside ; ;

>>8091602
More like autistic on the inside.

to the ones that want to be the little maid:

would you rather live with:
- an attractive young man
- someone cosplaying your waifu and wearing a white face-mask all day

>>8091615
An attractive man who dressed like a 1950's American Businessman.

>>8091615
>white face-mask
Like Michael Myers? Or Jason?

>>8091615
an at least mildly attractive and not-too-overweight guy... realistically so, I mean. I'm not asking for handsome, just well-proportioned and not disfigured.

>>8091600
That's Maid Bride, by Aruchu Kisuki. I suggest reading it, because it's incredibly awesome.

>>8091620

Is it full blown hentai sex scenes every hour, or something with tasteful H scenes like F/S N?

my dream is just having someone to cuddle with... but sadly, i guess i'm to autistic to try and ask someone out or something...
I hate you /jp/, you don't make me feel any better

>>8091622
Uh, it's not an eroge.

>>8091625

Okay thanks for your recommendation, I'll definitely read Maid Bride.

>>8091625

What the christ, every site says Maid Bride is a full-blown H-manga. What are you trying to pull

>>8091635
That should have been pretty obvious.

>>8091641

I thought the guy who said >>8091625 misused the term eroge and actually meant to say it's not ero.

>>8091618
more like unpainted venician ones

>>8091619
that's surprising
i figured most would still prefer girls or something looking like one

>>8091635
>>8091620 here

An eroge is a game.

>>8091635
They don't fuck, it's comedy.

>>8091642
I'm not physically attracted to guys honestly, but physical attraction makes up for very little. I've always loved the company of males much better than females.

Looks don't matter too much to me

>>8091649

>They don't fuck

yes they do

>>8091649
There is comedy, it is funny, and they do fuck.

A lot.

But it's also a tender, feel-good romance. I suggest reading it through and not stopping after the first chapter.

>>8091650
That's cause you're gay.
>>8091658
Yet I have posted proof they don't while you haven't otherwise.

>>8091667
You posted proof that it's not porn by posting one or two non-H scenes?

That's not proof, shitposter-kun. That's proof that one or two pages aren't H.

>>8091673
Why are you getting worked up over a joke?

>>8091600

>I always hear you

Hear what exactly?

>>8091679
Because you thought it wasn't porn. Then you checked, found out it actually was, and are trying to cover your ass and save face by saying you "were joking."

>>8091689

I'm the one who asked if it was porn, and I'm not this guy >>8091673 .

You can tell because I never sage on /jp/, since bumping threads and what-not is largely irrelevant with catalogue browsing.

>>8091689

Okay? If he has the manga, he's probably read it.

/jp/ - Is it porn? Yes. No. Fuck you, yeah it is. No it isn't faggot. Yeah it is dickface. No it's NOT you fucking moron. Whatever, dude, who cares anyway?

>>8091697

I think pretty much 90% of the content that's discussed on /jp/ has porn, or has substantial hentai derivative.

>>8091687
This.
>>8091689
What the fuck are you talking about, I had this since... I can't even remember and I was even the one who posted the first page in the first place. You're just being butt-mad hurt feelings and ell that jazz.

>>8091704

Okay, but do real people make sounds when they self-abuse?

>>8091708
when I cut my wrists sometimes I go "brup-pup-pup-pup-poh-pup-poh"

>>8091704
Calm down, brah.

>>8091649

Holy shit that's some bad translation

I want to be someone's maid, too. I won't do anything lewd though.

>>8091720
Translate it yourself then.
As for me, I don't care as long as the context, what they say and the situation seem to be relevant to one another.

>>8091721
I'll do lewd things if it pleases master... but I do draw the line at bodily fluids that don't come from the peepee

>>8091724

If you were the translator I'm sorry for hurting your feelings.

Holy shit op you are a huge faggot.

>>8091741
Fuck off straightfag.

>>8091725
> but I do draw the line
How can you call yourself a good servant if you won't do absolutely everything for your beloved master?

>>8091747
because if I eat feces or cover myself in vomit I could get very sick and die

and if my master is deranged enough to try to kill me... that's just not very good, and I can go find a new master!

>>8091747
Conversations about Touhou are good enough, right? I'll play whatever master likes as long as I don't have to do anything lewd.

>>8091720
At that level it's closer to a rewrite than a translation.

>>8091749
>>8091754
Weaklings.
No wonder you can't find a master if you aren't even 100% devoted.

Sounds like the /jp/ Mansion would have a lot of meidos if it ever got built.

>>8091756

Why do people rewrite shit

>>8091720
What do they say?!

>>8091787

Don't listen to the faggot, the translation is much better.

>>8091791
Can't you at least tell me the main differences between those two pages?

>>8091720
BTW, those two pages are different versions of the same manga so that might be why the translations are different.
just look at the text bubbles near the book wall,

>>8091799
You're being trolled by somebody who probably doesn't even speak Japanese. There isn't any real difference.

>>8091799

Meido: Good night

Faggot: I thought you said that... you're the lewd kind of maid

M: Oh... that was a lie.

F: WUT.

M: You let me stay because I said that.

F: What if I... forced myself on you.

M: It's okay, that won't happen because you're beta.

F: *RAPE TIME*

M: *sleeping*

There isn't a huge difference.

>>8091799
Starts out ok, completely diverges quite quickly.
Learn moon.

>>8091822

wait I fucked up I'm tired

again

Meido: Good night

Faggot: I thought you said that... you're the lewd kind of maid

M: Oh... that was a lie.

F: WUT.

M: I felt that you would let me stay if I said that.

F: What if I... tore down the border.

M: It's okay, that won't happen because you're beta.

F: *RAPE TIME*

M: *sleeping*


Is it okay 「ロリアキ」

>>8091822
>isn't a huge difference
People like you ate why shit like this gets made.

>>8091838

I don't get it, what gets made because of people like me

>>8091840
Awful translations. You're okay with the translations in >>8091649 ?
It's not that big of a difference?
How can you say that?

>>8091858

I think it's fine. My translations are pretty literal >>8091834 and I can't quite translate the tone in English.

英語の漫才は根本的に違うからなー

>>8091859
I can't even begin to give up.
I find your translation acceptable. How you find the original one acceptable is beyond me.
The beta gag? Gone. Unacceptable.
The naughty maid bit? Gone. Unacceptable.
Inserting some Bullshit about rolling around and crushing eroge? Unacceptable.
Mistranslating 'rape' as 'crime'? Understandable, but unacceptable.

>>8091874

I kind of like the translation you find unacceptable. It reads more like a shonen.

>>8091874
^ getting upset over dialogue in a hentai manga where the plot is largely irrelevant

Autistic as fuck.

>>8091885
Go to bed, CGRascal.

>>8091649
This is confusing. The translator must be able to read some kanji considering the 6 jou bit, but then the text after that is just completely different.

>>8091895

How often do translators rewrite in manga? I never compare them side to side.

>>8091895
Here's the page in my version, translated by YQII. It's not perfect, but it's pretty close to proper.

I get the feeling whoever translated the other version could speak Japanese, but said, "Fuck It" and decided to halfass it instead.

>>8091898
Oh, you're just asking about manga in general.

For regular manga I don't think rewrites are that common. Poor translations are common though, and it could be some people rewrite bits to cover up for a lack of skill.

>>8091907

I watch a lot of anime with English subs even when I can listen to moon perfectly fine.

Original line from Advent Children: クラウドは素直だからね。

Translation sub: Cloud is cloud.

There isn't really any English word that matches 素直 in this context right? "Honest" doesn't sound quite right.

I kind of enjoy observing these differences.

>>8091911

This is what an experienced translator would write. Rewriting is such a cop-out in my opinion.

/jp/ - Scholarly discussion of translation in hentai manga.

>>8091915
Well it would depend upon the context (like what is going on in that conversation), but yea there are a lot of things like that that are annoying to translate. 素直 for sure, some things I hate the most are よろしく and stuff in some contexts. I personally prefer to be more literal even if it sounds somewhat awkward.

Either way though, Cloud is Cloud just kind of sounds lazy to me. It doesn't even mean the same thing any more.

>>8091926
>よろしく

Fucking this.

How do you translate into something that sounds formal, in English?

新入りのXです、よろしくお願いします。

>>8091923
God's in his heaven, all is right with the world.
For once.

>>8091933

You don't because that's not how people speak in English.

>Sup y'all, I'm the new nigga in town lets go to roppongi and fuck some nip pussy

That's gaijin speak for you.

>>8091933
That's not too bad, you could get away with something like
"I look forward to working together" or whatever. Maybe it sounds a bit awkward, but people can still get it easily.

I get annoyed when there is a discussion between two characters that already know each other well, and to end it they say something like
これからもよろしくね
ああ、よろしく
There are just words and stuff they use in contexts we wouldn't. But then, my skills are hardly great or anything, and I don't pretend to be much of a writer.

>>8091947

>"I look forward to working together"

I'm too used to literal translations, I can't open up my mind to simple phrases like that.

>>8091947
Shit like this....
This is why I stopped reading translations.

It's jsut easier to intuit the meaning without needing it to be in English.

>>8091952

Why do you read translations in the first place. You know where to look for originals right?

Is it a matter of your moonspeak powerlevel?

>>8091959
I generally don't read translations, as I said.

However, untranslated manga drops off the face of the earth once it's been translated. At that point, I just ignore the text and fap.

The killer was once reading an American release of Hellsing. Andersong being all FAITH AN' BEGORRAH was bullshit, and I've hated translated comics ever since.

>>8091485
Sounds like a decent plan OP but there's a problem. I'm not gay.

>>8091966

JP torrentサイトかユーズネット使かわんのか？

お前本格的のニューファッグだな (笑)

>>8091980

>サインフェルド.jpg

8/10

>>8091980 ニューファッグ
Ugh.

>>8091980
Get fucked, I'm a buyfag. It's easier to go down to the Kinokuniya than to deal with that shit.

>>8091990

Are mangas more expensive there? Do you have to pay like $10 for a tankoubon

>>8092003
It varies. The larger size ones like Mahoromatic and Azumanga Daioh are upwards of $14 at last buying (which has been awhile), but shitty shounen like Rave are like $5. Yotsuba was like $6.50, and BLAME! and Biomega were $7.50.

The real good deal is the serializations like Monthly Afternoon, which are usually $4-6 new, and 50% off after they get old (which is often since I was one of the few people buying them). Plus bonus goods, like cheap figures, pencil boards, and other swag. Once, a copy of Newtype came with a Zaku II model, and it's the same price as usual.

>>8092013

I know exactly when you post replies because you browse through /jp/ tabs in a very orderly (autistic) fashion.

>>8092003
Wait, what do you mean by 'there'? I was referring to Seattle.
in Japan, I got my goods at Animate and Toranoana, with prices rarely exceeding $7, but this was before the economy took a shit and the dollar to yen exchange rate was better.

>>8092016
Very orderly. I scan the first page, then refresh. I usually only go deeper in if a thread I had a conversation in has dropped off the main page.

Years of habit.

>>8092016
ロリあき is the picture of autism.

>>8092019
You mean the Kinokuniya in the Uwajimaya? I've gone there a few times. Until I get a bus card I'm going to stick with RAWS. Didn't know they had those deals, will have to check that out in time

>>8092030
WHY CAN'T I GET MONEY FOR IT?!
Seriously, I'd be a comfy man if I could get autismbucks.

>>8092032
Indeed, good sir. THough I've heard there's one in the U-district, I've never seen it so I can't say if it's true or not. You could probably google it.

>>8092036
there's no kinokuniya in the U-district, just the Uwajimaya one in the I-district. There is a Pink Godzilla (or pink gorilla, whatever it's called now) in the U-district though.

Go away Amanda.

>>8092030

/jp/ - 「ロリあき」 culture

>>8092041
I'll never acknowledge it as Pink Gorilla.
That must be what I was thinking of though.

>>8092041
>Pink Godzilla
It's fun to browse, but their stuff is, by and large, terribly overpriced.

>>8092045
I went into the I-district one once and was talking to the guy working there. I mentioned I liked danmaku, and somehow brought up touhou. He thought I was talking about the movie company and he said they were the store's worst enemy because of the forced name change.

yet they were still selling the little Pink Godzilla plushies, with a hefty amount of permanent marker all over the little label.

damn shame.

>>8092048
Yes it is. Shit that nobody cares about is pretty cheap, though. Plus, it was faster than waiting for shipping when I needed a new AV cable for my Saturn and wanted to play some Gunbird with my roommate.
Used to be a Japanese Candy store.

>>8092051

what does 「ロリあき」 mean, toshiaki-kun?

>>8092051
you have a roommate? I thought you said you were some kind of homeless superhero.

It's weird seeing people from Seattle here. I mean, it shouldn't be. It's a large city with a significant Japanese presence. It makes me feel a little less alone.

>>8092059
>significant Japanese presence

Reminds me of a time I was forced to go down a ways south of Seattle, so many asians there, felt so out of place. I'm used to mexicans and blacks from a decade in Texas. Just felt so...gaijin.

>>8092061

They're at least friendly right?

I live in Toronto and even the Koreans are white people friendly.

>>8092061
We hide our black people in Ranier Valley. And Renton.

>>8092064
The only experience with Koreans in Toronto are all in Japanese restaurants. Of course they're going to be nice to me because they want all my money.

>>8092055
Just a portmaneau of lolicon and toshiaki.

>>8092051
I wasn't always homeless. I lived with a /m/an for a year damn near 4 years ago.

>>8092070
why is your name suddenly all katakana, stop that shit.

>>8092076

yeah it burns my eyes to see that shit

>>8092070
Stop being so meta without spamming images. You have to hide that shit with touhou or type moon images.

>>8092076
Oh shit, I never noticed that before. It's because I managed to fuck my name up on my iPod, but it's correct on my laptop.

>>8092083

understood

Can I continue with my blogging now?

>>8092091
no.

>>8092091
You're homeless, but have an iPad and laptop? I'm pretty impressed.

>>8092103
I admit, I do have some fucked up priorities.
I got a van, too.

>>8092108
Well, it's not like you're living in a dumpster or anything. I guess that's just the impression I get when somebody calls himself "homeless."

>>8092114
'Transient' suits better, but as I have no address, either is accurate. The van is an upgrade from previous conditions, though.

The subject of this thread seems to have changed some and I'm not the OP, but if there are any anons looking for a live-in trap meido in NYC, please e-mail me.

>>8092118
how do you have an internet connection living in a van?

>>8092133
I'm guessing all those generous people with unsecured wireless networks named "Linksys."

God bless them.

>>8092133
Parked next to a mcdonalds with wifi.

>>8092143
and nobody notices, huh?

>>8092153
Oh they notice, there's just nothing they can do about it.

>>8092153
Dunno.
Nobody's said anything. Semis park here overnight, so I don't think anyone cares. It is in the lot of a 24 hour store, though. I'm not even the only transient here.

OP stop stealing my dreams.

Actually, the cooking is more essential than the cleaning to me. I love cooking and cooking for someone is a huge part of that dream. Maybe we can be maids together!

>>8092158
what city do you live in?

>>8092178
Reno, currently. Back up to Seattle when I can afford the gas.

>>8092158
I hope you're running a VPN when you log into private accounts. Like hotspot shield or something. If you lived near me I might be willing to throw you a bone and give you some work in exchange for use of my guest house which has plumbing and a small kitchen but isn't all that large.


Take it easy.

>>8092182
why the fuck would you want to live in seattle? it's cold as fuck and full of nothing but dickhole hipsters.

>>8092190
It's pretty nice if you like cool rainy weather. The air is always fresh too. Love the generalizations of people though have you even been there?

>>8091485
You make me cry

>>8092190
It's colder in the summer, but the trade-off is that it's pretty warm in the winter.

The hipsters mostly hang out in Starbucks with their MacBooks -- fuck them. Seattle's actually a pretty safe city to live in.

>>8092190
Warmer than here.
I say Seattle for convenience, but I'd likely head ro Redmond, maybe get back into testing again, finish college.
It's the only big city area I've ever lived in. The devil you know, and all.

>>8092187
Thanks for the offer. Battery low, time for bed.

my dream is to find a dysfunctional but still nice female off the internet and live with her as her part-time butler, and wear fancy outfits and clean her house and maybe her! In exchange for a roof over my head and food to eat which I'll of course cook and I will even work during the rest of the day so that I can pay for all of her expenses!

Sigh... too bad it is an impossibility, and will never happen.

>>8092129
Isn't aliandrah a female name?

I don't want to love someone. I just love the idea of being in love with someone.

But no lewd things.

>>8091582
>beta

"Alpha/beta" are mystical labels applied by CHUDs to describe a pattern they recognize but can't understand; i.e. asshole jocks get chicks, they don't. So they draw hasty correlations and assume that being a fleshy-headed mutant with eight popped collars makes one "alpha" and not being a fuckhead asshole makes one "beta," whatever the fuck that means. The reality is rather different... in fact, you can see it explained right here:

>>8091594
>This is what makes NTR so great. The poor guy finally finds a girl who solves all his emotional problems and he makes her his precious refuge from the cruelties of the world. But then a superior male whisks her away, and you find out that she resented the guy the whole time, and was planning on leaving him when the first opportunity arose.

That second sentence is where its at. It summarizes the plot of a lot of shitty anime, /h/ manga and /jp/ faggots useless fantasy; of a Perfect Woman utterly without flaws that fixes all his problems.

But no woman is perfect, at all. In fact, people love others BECAUSE of their flaws, not in spite of them - this is why love is essentially insanity. Its the *exact opposite* of what your average /jp/ autistic waifufag believes, which is exactly why they DO have 2D waifus - only a fantasy can be perfect enough. Whether this is the inevitable endpoint of immaturity, complete failure to understand other human beings (possibly related to autisim) or just horrid selfishness, you can decide.

And its the "selfishness" angle that comes into play with NTR. "You find out she resented the guy the whole time" is EXACTLY what would happen in any real relationship where the man treats the woman like his emotional dishrag, never giving a thought to HER problems, insecurities and humanity. The asshole jock doesn't give any emotional intimacy either, but at least he's not an emotional user leech.

>>8092696
>>8092696
in regards to the first part of your post, no, alpha and beta have pretty clear cut implications on this board, lack of understanding has nothing to do with those particular buzzwords

>>8092696
>OMEGA AS FUCK.

Back to >>/r9k/ pussy.

>>8091485
176 replies.
I can't believe that you actually made the thread.
Oh god what have I done?

>>8092785
Go and actually read the content of the thread.

>>8092648
Yes. It's a throwaway e-mail I use for purposes where a feminine handle is called for.

>>8092696
>"Alpha/beta" are mystical labels
Not really, alpha/beta is part of herd behavior.
Humans still act in the way nature intended them to act unless there are rules and laws in society that force them to behave differently.

>>8092163
let's start a business!

boymaids

we'll be so rich

it sounds hot but in reality it's not that good, I was in a 3 year bdsm relationship where I moved across the country and lived with this guy. He payed for everything and I had to do chores around the house, have sex with him all while dressed in bondage gear pretty much 24/7. I got pretty fucked up after that and am still recovering

>>8093410
> I got pretty fucked up after that and am still recovering
How so? That seems wonderful.

>>8093410
what do you mean "pretty fuck up"?

>>8093410
Thanks for the info. We take juicy relationshit stories very seriously here. I mean, I can't think of a single /jp/'er who would not want to read your story! You should start a blog and ask moot to embed the link on the top of the page.