/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I'm a lover, not a fighter.

RULES OF LOVE~♥ Kiss on the lips:I luv u Kiss on the ear:Your Special Kiss on the cheek:Were good friends Kiss on the forhead:I dont want to loose u Kiss on the neck:I want u Kiss on the shoulder:U are wonderful Kiss anywhere else:Letz be careful Play with ur hair:I cant live without u Holding Hands:Im happy when im with u Arms around waist:u r mine i need u A hug:I care Smiling At Eachother:I like u Lifting up eyebrow *WINK*:Flirtation Looking around:Hiding true feeling Tender kiss on your lips:Ur mine Licking ur lips:Ready 4 a kiss Tear Drop:Im losing u.. Crying:I lost u... 98% of teenagers say "I Love You" and don't mean it. if you are one of the 2% that does, then copy and paste this in your profile.<3

No, I'm a little bitch boy who needs a real man to give me a good dicking.

>>8248421
>>8248422

>>8248422
Fixed.

♥~RULES OF LOVE~♥
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
♥ - Kiss on the lips:I luv u
♥ - Kiss on the ear:
♥ - Your Special Kiss on the cheek:Were good friends
♥ - Kiss on the forhead:I dont want to loose u
♥ - Kiss on the neck:I want u
♥ - Kiss on the shoulder:U are wonderful
♥ - Kiss anywhere else:Letz be careful
♥ - Play with ur hair:I cant live without u
♥ - Holding Hands:Im happy when im with u
♥ - Arms around waist:u r mine i need u
♥ - A hug:I care
♥ - Smiling At Eachother:I like u
♥ - Lifting up eyebrow *WINK*:Flirtation
♥ - Looking around:Hiding true feeling
♥ - Tender kiss on your lips:Ur mine
♥ - Licking ur lips:Ready 4 a kiss
♥ - Tear Drop:Im losing u..
♥ - Crying:I lost u...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
98% of teenagers say "I Love You" and don't mean it. if you are one of the 2% that does, then copy and paste this in your profile.<3

>>8248469
>>8248422

IF U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA PUNK THAT KILLED U!

..._...|..____________________, ,
....../ `---___________----_____|
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//

WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER

>>8248469
I'd give saten a good "Licking ur lips" if you know what I mean

i am a heron. i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans

>>8248512
He means it, guys.

>>8248409, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time, the stab-or-be-stabbed
mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a Yoshinoya veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, OP, should just stick with today's special.

Remember when /jp/ used to be good? Guys? Back when people could be banned for using tripcodes, the board was checked hourly by cat mod, and people used sage correctly rather than ALL THE TIME or NEVER? Do you remember when people would hide shitty threads and no one would reply, they'd just report them?

You shitheads really fucked up the one place on the internet that I love, the one place that I felt was right for me. I hope that you burn in hell for a long time. Go back to gaia, go back to /a/, go back to wherever you fucking came from. anywhere but here.

>>8248518
I love that comic.

Kopipe thread? Guess I'll post some, too.

Picture in your mind a massive yellow phone book.

In this phone book is a name, number and address for every human being alive, that has ever lived, and ever will live, along with an equivalent number of pages in the business directory.

This phone book is on an old wooden table in a concrete room with no doors or windows.

You are trapped in the room and have a compulsion to read the phone book. You have now read through it cover-to-cover five-thousand, seven-hundred, thirty-one times. Your hands are pale from the lack of sunlight. Your hands are covered in scars from paper cuts. Your hands resemble the surface of Europa. You reach for the phone book one more time and flip through the pages like a picture book. As you flip through the pages at high-speed, the names and numbers form an image of yourself, staring back at you with a corrupted smile. The skin on your hands is now in shreds, the razor edges of the phone book having revealed bare bone, to which you are oblivious as you watch images dance on thin, colored-coded pages.

You have now flipped through the book eleven-thousand, eight-hundred, sixty-eight times.

This is what tanasinn is like

How to explain tanasinn? I wrote this little essay on it a while ago:

should it live?
should it die?
that is not a problem at all.

life, death, tanasinn

tanasinn=occult,cult,fascism,death,life,relision···,or···?

tanasinn operates the whole world.
tanasinn is the soul of the universe.
tanasinn is the bottom of your heart.
tanasinn transcends surrealism and realism.
tanasinn is inherent in every self.
tanasinn is inherent in every structure.
tanasinn is inherent in every system.
tanasinn is decadent and may cause self-collapse.

tanasinn vacumeir alles
tanasinn plays with all elements

The Messenger of fear
The Child of darkness and confusion
The King of infinite decomposition
The Khaos

tanasinn

tanasinn absodivides the WORLD

Words cannot explain tanasinn. More accurate:
Don't think. Feel and you'll be tanasinn.

full-length mirror Evening glow Wave of those passing
Disappear wholly. Roadside tree murmured in the heart Swing
with a child which tries to be the first Scene
It falls to why or cardiac bolting Slope two persons
fall with you and it falls
-- the setting sun -- Without it rises again a new tanasinn
-- shining -- eternal -- Eternal

happiness?

Attention!
Having waifus is an /a/ related habit. It doesn't belong on /jp/. So if you have a waifu and intend to talk about it, kindly leave.

/jp/ is for translators, artists and scholars of Japanese culture only. It is a place to create original content and engage in meaningful discussions.

Now that this is settled, please continue.

Gomenasai, my name is Ken-Sama
I'm a 27 year old American Otaku (Anime fan for you gaijins). I draw Anime and Manga on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior Japanese games. (Disgaea, Final Fantasy, Persona series)

I train with my Katana every day, this superior weapon can cut clean through steel because it is folded over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my sword license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak Japanese fluently, both Kanji and the Osaka dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Japanese history and their bushido code, which I follow 100%

When I get my Japanese visa, I am moving to Tokyo to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Studio Ghibli or a game designer!

I own several kimonos, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Japan, so I can fit in easier. I bow to my elders and seniors and speak Japanese as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

oh HEL--. OK guys? OK. what if we. OK. stay with me now. what if we... imply people to go to /bun/, but we do not.... everyone with me? OK. we do not... PROVIDE A LINK

/bun/ sent me a box of chocolate chip cookies, but the chocolate was really poop :(

fu*k yo* bun, fu*k yo* >:(

>>8248469
>>8248486
>>8248512
>>8248537
>>8248544
>>8248545
>>8248548
>>8248554
>>8248559

/jp/'s problem is that it's on 4chan, plain and simple.

When it was new of course we had a great influx of people from all over the place and shitposting everywhere but then they got bored and what was left was the user based that defined this place. Take it easy, japanese bird cooking spaghetti, get out of /jp/, etc. But as people started to flee /b/ to other boards because the rest of the site hated it to death since being a /b/tard became "uncool" they started to shitpost and raid everywhere else. It's why /v/ is such a shithole today, people don't want to post off-topic threads on /b/ because everyone hates /b/, therefore they post it on other boards only escalating the problem, doing the same thing that the people they claim to hate do.

Shitty things from /b/ like the hate for weeaboos (which people don't even know anymore that was a filter for wapanese) spread everywhere and /jp/ became the obvious target, even though it was barely about Japan, even when it was Japan/General. Some of those shitposters that came to raid stayed, this board became more popular and /jp/ got shittier.

Now I never bothered to browse any other image board outside of 4chan like /bun/ and all that crap, but fuck I understand the appeal of fleeing 4chan.

This place is doomed.

We all know that it's Bunbunmaru doing the shitposting, organized via IRC. The Steam group is just another /jp/ group - it's just as innocent as "Yukkari", "SAoVQ", or "Boof Buddies". Logs have been published that put Bun in a bad light; are there any about the Steam group? The name "shitposter" is just a joke. Must you stoop so low Jones? I know that no one posts on your boards but attacking others is not a healthy way to manage your frustration

Sorry, I'm relatively new here, so I had no idea this was a japanese board for homosexuals (no offence). After being on here for three months the femininity and (not so) subtle homosexuality exhibited by users are getting to me.

Can someone recommend me a straight japanese board? Somewhere with no shotas, traps, crossdressing little boys, and users who don't shave their legs and drool at the thought of being gangraped by large men while wearing a skirt with their penis tucked between their legs.

What did they do to you Afghanistan? Before you got sent there you discussed games/anime/whatever your other interests were in a rather intelligent fashion. All you do now is spam memes and feign ignorance for some undisclosed reason. What happened?

Actually that's where your wrong asshole. /jp/ only has one rule, and that's "All things otaku welcome". And you know what otaku means? Just nerdy shit in general, more specifically a nerdy obsession about one topic. So that means anime, manga, video games, threads about the Japanese language, or even threads about the 4chan community are welcome here. Don't like something? Hide it. Don't like someone? Hide him. /jp/ has, and always will be, a place for discussion about a wide variety of topics. Just because a thread's not about your creepy porn games doesn't mean it's not welcome here. In fact you should be thankful, moot said that if the board ever became dominated by one or two topics it'd be deleted. He should have called it Japan/Random because that's what it is.

i love you

A girl had ovary cancer and she was terminally going to die. so she was going to have ovary implants surgery. When the day was that she was having her surgery she said goodbye to her family and told her boyfriend she loved him. She came out of the surgery and had no cancer because she was cured. She saw her family then asked where her boyfriend was and her mom said wait didn't the doctor tell you who donated the ovaries? like if you love your boyfriend

Umineko is a babby's first VN of the worst kind. It's a bad series, a clusterfuck of setting and characterization that isn't very well done by any aspect, but which attempts to compensate for its weaknesses by adding in excessive shipping faggotry and META. The NEET anon can see this as the shit it is, and may enjoy it, hate it or be indifferent to it, but all the while recognizing that the series itself, regardless of their opinion, is plain bad.

However, these very aspects that try to smear over the shit of its core make it a breeding ground for normal, sociable, underage faggots who engage in every kind of faggotry both online and in the real world. The metaworld characters all trying their hardest to look cool, the magic, the peculiar, colorful clothes, the whole "colored text" faggotry and everything about the Umineko world fuels their escapist fantasies, while the pity-party character backgrounds, emphasis on love, and the overall preachiness of the whole series make it fit just right with the mary-sueish drives of your average preteen and his sense of unwarranted self-importance towards the world. Exactly the kind of shit that makes normals and underage retards eat this shit right the fuck up.

Umineko is basically THE series to attract the most hated visual novel fanbase known to /jp/, which is why, regardless of individual opinions, it is the responsibility of every anon to troll the fuck out of this franchise and everyone who likes it, and ensure that no Umineko threads ever encourage the normalfags to show their faces here.

YOU JUST GOT HIT BY THE
|¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯| ( / * o * ) / * : .­ ° ¤
| KAWAII TRUCK | ‘|¯¯¯¯¯[¯]___
|_…__…_________ |=| |__]______| <(°A°<;) NO KAWAII TRUCK NO!!!
"(@ )'(@ ) |(@) ** (@) (@)

IF YOU WERE KILLED TOMORROW IN A TABLE RELATED ACCIDENT,
I WOULDNT GO TO YOUR FUNERAL BECAUSE ID BE SITTING ON A TABLE
　　　　　　　　　　∧＿∧　　　
　　　　　　　　　 （　´∀｀）　
　　　　　　　　／　　　　|　　　
　　　　　　　/ 　　　 　 .|　　　　　
　　　　　　 / "⌒ヽ |.ｲ |
　　　＿＿ |　　　.ノ | || |＿＿
　 .　　　 ノく＿＿つ∪∪　　 ＼
　　　＿（（＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_＼
　　 ￣￣ヽつ￣￣￣￣￣￣ | |￣
　　　＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_| |
　　 ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| |
WE TRUE TABLECATS
WE SIT TOGETHER
WE SIT TOGETHER ON A TABLE

gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her bf n they were crossin da rode
she sed "bbz wil u luv me 4evr"
he said "NO.."
da gurl cryed N ran accross da rode b4 da green man came on the sine.
boy was cryin and went to pic up her body. she was ded. he whsipered 2 her corpse
"I ment 2 sey I will luv u FIVE-ever......" (dat mean he luv her moar dan 4evr....)

~lik this if u crai evrytaim~

cool free ringtones @ >>>/vip/

　　　　　　　　　　∧＿∧　　　
　　　　　　　　　 （　´∀｀）　
　　　　　　　　／　　　　|　　　
　　　　　　　/ 　　　 　 .|　　　　　
　　　　　　 / "⌒ヽ |.ｲ |
　　　＿＿ |　　　.ノ | || |＿＿
　 .　　　 ノく＿＿つ∪∪　　 ＼
　　　＿（（＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_＼
　　 ￣￣ヽつ￣￣￣￣￣￣ | |￣
　　　＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_| |
　　 ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| |

forgive english, i am Russia.

i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss.

We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fuck this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.

I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.

I love these threads.

Though less 4chan//jp/ drama copypasta and more story kopipe please.

>>8248628
I don't give a fuck who you are or where you live, you can count on me to be there just to bring your life to a hellish end. I'll put you in so much fucking pain that it'll make Jesus being nailed to the cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don't give a fuck how tough you are, how well you fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I'll fucking show up at your house when you aren't at home. I'll turn on all the lights in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You're gonna start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you'll have a fucking heart attack. You'll go to the hospital for heart operation, and the last thing you'll see when being put under in the operating room is me, hovering above you dressed up like a doctor. When you wake up after the operation, you'll be scared for your fucking life, wondering what I did to you while you were being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home, I'll run you over with my fucking car out of nowhere and kill you. I just want you to know how easily fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I'd rather go to a great fucking length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing hell. It's too late to save yourself but don't bother committing suicide either...I'll fucking resuscitate you and kill you myself you bitchfaced faggot. Welcome to hell, population: you.

>>8248616
> WE SIT TOGETHER
> WE SIT TOGETHER ON A TABLE
Oh god why is this so funny

>>8248608
sage tank > kawaii truck.

Tokiko has been on /jp/ for around two months. He is 17 years old and his name is Coal, and he has type 1 diabetes. Since he has been here he tried to join the inner shitposting circle but managed to creep them out and make them all uncomfortable enough to get rid of him.

He then fell in love with another tripfag who goes by the handle Fukune on this board and spammed the board with bad poems, threats and begging 'her' to unblock him after 'she' blocked him on Steam.

Then he started spamming with a basic spambot and shitting up /jp/ even more.

He is Currybutt Jr

>>8248631
I FUCKING WISH YOU WERE 18 MOTHERFUCKING PUSSY ID COME TO YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND FUCKING BEAT YOUR ASS. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD. I GUARANTEE YOU WOULDNT STEP FOOT OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. YOU ARE A FUCKING LONG HAIRED, NO LIFE, PATHETIC, CANT EVEN LOOK SOMEONE IN THE EYES WHEN THEYRE TALKING TO YOU, BITCH. THAT SHOWS YOU HAVE NO BALLS. YET YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT MY ASS, I DONT THINK IM A GREAT FIGHTER, BUT I GUARANTEE IVE BEEN IN MORE FIGHTS THAN YOU AND I WOULDNT HAVE TO TRY TO KICK THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU. ALSO HAVE FUN FUCKING THAT FAT UGLY BITCH, WHATS HER NAME JESS, SHES FUCKIN HIDIOUS. NOW I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU, BECAUSE I WILL PISS YOU OFF ENOUGH TO HIT ME, THAN I WILL BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU, AND KICK YOU WHEN YOUR DOWN. DONT THINK BECAUSE YOUR TALL PEOPLE WILL BE SCARED OF YOU, SIZE MEANS NOTHING IN A FIGHT, ITS EXPERIENCE. ID SAY YOUR BEST BET IS GOING FOR MY BALLS, LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH THAT YOU ARE, AND BRING A KNIFE, THAN YOU HAVE A CHANCE. YOU CAN ALSO BRING A FRIEND AND ILL KICK BOTH YOUR ASSES AT THE SAME TIME. WOULDNT BE THE FIRST TIME. IM NOT TRYING TO BE TOUGH, I WOULDNT HAVE SAID SHIT, BUT TO SAY SHES DISGUSTING, IS A JOKE WHEN YOU STICK YOUR DICK IN A COMPLETELY HIDEOUS FAT BITCH. I DONT TALK SHIT, I WILL BITCH YOU OUT WHEN I SEE YOU AND YOU WONT DO A FUCKING THING, WHITE TRASH PUSSY.

>>8248639
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

>>8248646
What? WHAT WAS THAT? Sorry I must have misheard, I thought I heard a giant faggot mouthing off at me with something he sure as fuck could never back up, but it must have just been my imagination. Because after I imagined hearing that, I proceeded to imagine how good it would feel to break that persons fucking spinal cord over my knee. I imagined how my next step is usually to rip out one of the persons fucking ribs and jab it straight through their nose into their brain cavity. I imagined pulling that rib back out, and then brainfucking that dead faggot through the new massive hole in his face I created.

But I didn't really hear anything, right? no one would be fucking dumb enough to talk to me like that on here.

Until recently, Wagner's ring has been difficult for most of us to penetrate. Access to his darkest area has traditionally been restricted to those lucky few capable of maintaining strong, determined strokes of scholarly investigation.

Happily, DiGaetani provides everyone - including the most intellectually well-endowed amongst us - with the tools needed to effortlessly prize apart Wagner's ring and plunder its forbidden contents. DiGaetani's main thrust shows that perseverance and a firm-hand are all that is needed to enter Wagner.

Oiled with this literary lubricant, you will find yourself repeatedly sliding deep into Wagner's ring until a satisfying climax is reached.

>>8248656
WHAT DID YOU FUCKING CALL ME? A FAGGOT? DO YOU FUCKING KN OW WHAT FAGGOT EVEN MEANS? IT MEANS A HOMOSEXUAL. A FUCKING QUEER. A WHOOPSY. A PRANCING LALA FRUITY BOY. YOU COME HERE, AND CALL ME FUCKING THAT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY GIGABYTES OF PORNOGRAPHY FEATURING ONLY FUCKING !!!FEMALES!! I HAVE? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES A DAY I MASTURBATE TO THIS COLLECTION, HOW MANY HOURS I SPEND EXPANDING IT? NO, NO YOU FUCKING DON'T, YOU JUST COME IN HERE AND MAKE A FUCKING JUDGEMENT ON ME LIKE YOu"RE SOME KIND OF JUDGER OF FAGS WHEN I STILL SMELL OF THE SEMEN FROM JACKING IT TO THE PUSSY OF A FUCKING FEMALE THIS BOARD ISN"T FUCKING /GAY/ ALRIGHT IT'S /JP/, NEWSFLASH, JAPAN HAS SEX TOO, OTHERWISE JAPAN WOULD NOT EXIST AS A FUCKING COUNTRY WITH PEOPLE IN YOU PREJUDICED PIECE OF SHIT

WHIPE THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FUCKING FACE. I BET I HAVE AT LEAST TEN TIMES THE AMOUNT OF PICTURES OF VAGINA YOU DO, FAGGOT FAG FAG FRUITY WHOOPSY DOO-DOO LAA LAA SCOUT BOY GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD

>>8248630
> sage tank

>>8248664
I love you.

>>8248664
you wanna fucking fight kid well guess what I just hacked your IP address. yea thats right you can't do shit you fucking pussy... if you try to start ANY MORE shit with me, I'll hack the shit out of your computer so be warned you terrorist piece of shit. and if you try to come to my house just be warned that I know Kung Fu and have a GUN so if you wanna start some shit I'll fuckin be ready to kick the shit out of you. You've been warned, motherfucker. don't FUCK WITH ME again.

Real funny faggot ass bitch. You think this is a joke? You think giving me lip is a good idea? I'll fucking murder you.

Yeah making fun of me is so funny, so funny I forgot to laugh. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so I can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. Yeah you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but I bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button. So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this. Don't want anymore problems.... didn't think so faggot. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin piece of unpatriotic SHIT.

Unfortunately the shitposting between us is not yet over... Dead... Yuria is dead.

>>8248673
Don't say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say ANYTHING else - ONE word - I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this Fear Engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming -as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of NOTHING will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark world will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.

It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Jessica. She is really **** hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to **** her. So be it.

I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dick. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dick. Booya. Shit was SO cash.

Flash forward to like 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dick is going inside of her VAGINA, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm **** her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dick. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.

I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.

Reported so hard my report hand caused thunderstorms to rage outside my ass. I ran out into the rain and performed a mystical dance passed down to me from Gensokyo oracles, which brought forth a tidal wave of reportage to ram all my reports to the front of the queue. Meanwhile the thunder struck the earth below me, opening a hole in the ground and sucking me underneath into the core of the Earth. There, I met a curious group of subterranean cave dwellers who showed me myths of the day I would report a faggot like the OP for shitting up /jp/.

Ah, but I have done that so many times, I said.

They only nodded, acknowledging my reporting powers with a silent awe.

I was transported back to ground level, walked in a dignified manner back to my room and reported OP 500 times in the space of 6 seconds

Oh, I have a story that's related to no homo relationships with male friends.

I remember that one day my parents wanted to spend the night fucking so they sent me to sleep with my neighbor and childhood friend that's one year younger than me (I was 14 back then). Coincidently, (or not?) his parents also spent that night fucking on a motel. When that happened, we liked to watch porn together at late night TV, and we used to rub our cocks over our clothes, so naturally we did the same that day. During one of the hot moments, I went to the toilet to fend off my drowsiness (and to release what was about to burst), and left him there. I did it quickly. After about five minutes, I came back, and he, being really sleepy too, seemed to have forgotten that I was going to come back and had pulled his boxers off and started to masturbate raw. I got an instant boner again (no homo, just reflexes) and hid myself while watching him. He was shafting it violently up down up down up down up down up down up down and I could no longer hold it in. It was released, and I matched his rhythm. However, his drowsiness got the best of him, and he fell asleep, pulsating cock still in hand. I couldn't endure that sight anymore. It looked painful, it was begging me for it. Make me cum, I need to let it out! And his face, he looked so defenseless. So, my lips and my hand moved on their own (no homo). Then it started. I kept going, the porn didn't stop, and his cute moans alone were worth it (no homo). The porn actress seemed to understand us, and groaned like a beast. It didn't take long for the inevitable to happen. We cuddled, and he freaked out when he woke up and saw that I slept while holding his cock tightly while soaked in his white slimy cum. No homo, I tell you, it's just some friendly skinship.

>Play Mass Effect 2
>Do Tali quest about her father
>Tali doesn't want me showing the evidence of her father
>Show evidence
>She hates me for what I did and doesn't trust me anymore
>"Guess I'll have to change some things.."
>Have a little talk with Liara
>I call Tali into my room
>Tali still seems pissed but it doesn't matter anymore
>Suddenly Liara comes out of the shadows and pins her down
>I begin violently ripping off her suit
>She yells "NO, NO! I'LL DIE IF YOU DO THAT"
>I start hitting her and tell her to shut up
>She continues to squirm as we successful remove it
>Her hideous nude alien body is shown and her weak immune system causes her to feel extremely ill
>Liara gets aroused by my domination of another person and says “Let’s make this Quarian suffer, Shepard"
>I begin raping her as Liara holds her down
>Tali's fragile body allows me to pound my fat meaty cock in her sweet virgin Quarian pussy
>After some time, Liara's hidden lust takes over and pushes me away
>She says "Hey Shepard...you like snuff?"
>My lust builds stronger and says "Do it, fucking kill her in front of me"
>Liara removes her pants, underwear and then starts using her feet to stomp on Tali's Skull
>Tali starts to bleed from the nose, ears and mouth and makes a weak dying noise
>Liara then grinds on Tali’s broken face with her wet pussy to make her look like a glazed purple donut
>I sit back and start jerking off while saying "Kill her, I wanna cum as she fucking dies, that's an order!"
>Liara smiles and says "Yes, Sir!"
>She uses her thighs to suffocate Tali then masturbates as she watches her slowly die
>As I'm about to cum, I walk over and release my load on Tali's face and part of Liara's Thigh.
>Liara delivers the finishing blow and snaps Tali's neck violently.
>Liara has an orgasm and releases gallons of piss on Tali's emotionless face.
>I begin to piss on her corpse as well then say "I guess she won't be in Mass Effect 3"

IF ANATA WERE KILLED ASHITA, I WOULDNT IKU 2 UR
FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA BAKA THAT KOROSU U!

..._.....____________________, ,
....../ KAWAII GUN
`---___________----_____] = = = = =(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//

WE TRUE TOMODACHI
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER

Good morning, readers and friends all around.

If you would spare a moment of your time, allow me to tell you the events of what had occured last night. I, Ky Kiske, king of Illyuria, was taking a stroll down the roads of the local town. It was an amazingly beautiful day, there was truly nothing like it. The sun was shining brightly against the roads and fields of green across the entire land, and for this one moment, I was glad that peace and tranquility was at least in one place of this world. However, fate had decided to destroy this moment, as I had heard this incredibly loud and obnoxious music coming from just a bit further down the road. I could vaguely hear the words "I'm burning through the skyyy~, yeah!", and realized that it was that blasted old music group from the distant past, "Queen". Only one devilish and unpure soul would listen to such sinful music at the current date, and that was none other then the one who had addressed himself as "Sol Badguy".

I quickly drew my weapon, and charged at him as he noticed me. As I charged and cried in battle for my country, yelling "Ride The Lightning", the unbelievable had happend. My own attack had no effect, and I found myself pinned to the ground, weapon no where in sight, and the only thing I could see was the massive, hulking figure of Sol Badguy.

I quickly tried to get away from there, but Sol Badguy had me cornered. He then told me something along the lines of me having to do such sinful acts to him, which I had promptly declined. However, he had already won, and would not take no for an answer.

He began to undress me quickly, his pulsating shaft thrust into me, disregarding any protest that me or my body had given. He proceeded for what had seemed like a lifetime, and he left leaving me full of that sinful act, laughing all the while.

It was a truly horrible day, one not fit for I, Ky Kiske.

'sup bitches.

Let me tell you 'bout my day as Sol Badguy, #1 Badguy in the fucking world. So earlier today I was walking down the road, blasting the MOTHERFUCKING GREATEST music of all time : Queen. I was seriously an inch away from cumming to the glory that is Freddie Mercury. Anyway while I was walking and showering the place with my concentrated man-love juice I saw my #1 bitch Ky Kiske. When he saw me he was all : "For great justice!" and "RAIIIDE ZA RAITOUNINNNNGGGNNGG!" but I was like AWWW HELLL NAWWWWWW!! and I fucking shooped his ass into a new dimension with my fucking NAPALMMMM DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEATH. Afterwords he was all "I'm sorry I was so rude to you master!" and then he had the guts to fucking bend over right there on the street and ask me to plow his ass. But because I'm such an awesome guy I thought : Why not? So I did him right there and made sure his body wouldn't need to take a drink for days after that, him crying out my name all the while, declarhing himself my slave.

Just another day as me, Sol Badguy.

Woke up this morning 5:30 sharp with a blowjob from two bitches, one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. Must have came about a quart of sperm. They wanted more, cockslapped them unconcious, I had to hit the gym. Frontflipped from my 14th floor loft into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions) and gave the valet 3000$ in loose change. Pushed my shit to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at the gym in no time. When I entered, the room scent suddently changed from sweat to wet pussy. That;s just the effect I have on hoes. Did my usual relax routine, 6000 push-ups, 8500 crunches, bench pressed 30 plates, etc. etc. you know the drill. After doing my shit in 16 minutes, my super strong senses got in action, I was smelling pussy. I looked up, and sure enough this fly honey was coming towards me. When i say fly, I mean that bitch was fine as a fucking umbrella. 18 years old, 44DD titties on a tight fucking frame. I mean a real skinny bitch, the type you losers jack off to, she didnt weigh more than 5 pounds. Took out my trouser monster and she started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. Then I gave it to her while all the guys were giving me high fives and all the hoes were on the floor squirting like motherfucking fountains. Made the slut beg for my cum, but I didnt give it to her to prove a point, I still came but only compressed air came out, imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. Didnt say nothing, hopped back in the Lambo and went back home. Now I'm sitting here, drinking 15 000$ champagne and eating gold plated sushis made by the 2 bitches from earlier. Its only 6:30 and I did more in 1 hour than you faggots will do your whole life. Enjoy jacking off to stupid drawn pictures.

Peace out nerds.

>>8248409
OP is so visibly upset, that he needs to create a thread on our glorious board in an attempt to raise his self worth.

Come at me OP. I am the fucking pinnacle of man, both body and mind. I attend an Ivy league university, completely payed off by scholarships, with the leftover money used to buy myself a luxury vehicle. My grade point average is perfect point O. After I finish my dual bachelors I will be accepted straight away into the doctorate program. I will have two doctorate degree's by age twenty-five, owe zero debts, and make more money a year than you will in a lifetime. The funny thing is, this is the average /jp/ browser. There are many who far surpass me.

Of course, knowing this, you figure the only way to attack me is the only way you know how, using words of which the meaning escapes you, insult some genre of game no one on this board plays, and using our own image macros to mock yourself.

You forgot your "My face when" by the way, the text suits you perfectly.

Go ahead and reply, doing so only proves my point to such an extent that you might as well just beg to suck my dick and eat my bodily waste, so that maybe an iota of my greatness could pass onto you.

I am 26 years old. I am 6'2, 160lbs with a 6x6 inch penis. I have no job. I live at home with my parents. I dropped out of University. I have never had a girlfriend. I cannot approach girls. I am a virgin. I feel intimidated and inferior to women. I look at better looking men and feel absolute hatred towards them because of my terrible jealousy. I spend 8 hours a day on 4chan. I am depressed. I have constant anxiety. I wake up in the night with my heart pounding. I can't cope in social situations. I blush at the drop of a hat. I find it almost impossible to make conversation with people. I crumble under even the slightest amount of scrutiny. I have bad posture. I speak too fast in a monotone voice and people struggle to understand me. I have acne. I am obsessed with my appearance. I spend hours in front of the mirror picking fault with the most minor of imperfections.

I am paranoid people are judging me, making fun of me and criticizing me. I talk to myself constantly. I live in a dreamworld and fantasize all the time. I look to blame others for my problems even though I know deep down it is all my fault. I am still clinging to childhood even though it is long, long gone. I live in constant regret that I have underachieved in my life. I am bitter towards others who have succeeded. I feel that I am not in control of my own mind. I cannot stay focused or motivated on anything for long enough to succeed. I have chronic procrastination. I have a negative voice in my head that literally feels like another person dictating what a freak I am. All I have is blind hope that one day I'll turn things around. I have tried in vain many times to understand why I turned out like this but to no avail. I am what I am and I hate it. I wish I was free.

Omg hai ^___^ I'm Archer and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ swords <3 and my favs are bakuya and kansho!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my past self!! >_______________< OMFGZ HE WAS SUCHHHH A FREAKIN BAKA IN PERSON!!! Supa baka desu!!!!!!!! When I walked onto school grounds -____-* I looked up and saw... SHIROU!!!!!!!!! </////////////////////////////////////////////////33333!!!!!!!!!" KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA BAKA SHIROU!!!!!!!!" I yelled n_____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!!he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;] and then he saw how strong I am *___* he looked startled and ran away into the school building o_o and when I found him he was all covered in blood!!!!!! [OMG!!! IT LOOKED LIKE SPAGETTHI DINNER WITHOUT THE SPAGETTHI !!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then my baka master, rin, came in and told me to follow lancer while she brought him back to life!!!!!!!!!! [ -___________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (O_O);;;;;] so I yelled "UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT'S MY PAST SELF, WHY DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT HIM BECAUSE IM GOING TO KILL HIM AND CORRECT MY MISTAKES!!! (・ ・ )" then shirou stared at me furiously >______< and said that this was the only path and he had no regrets!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to Ilya’s castle and projected many swords and fought all night long!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^__________<) ^______________________^;;;;;;;; XD XDXD

>>8248679
Why are you such an idiot? You jaundiced jumped up, vercordiously pusillanimous piffle. Your vileseome existence nauseates me beyond compare. It is politically correct when discussing your faults to use certain words to denote your humanness above your disability. But in your case, there is nothing human. You are just challenged, you are just different. Given a choice of stepping in something nasty on the sidewalk, or bidding you good morning, I would happily choose the former. Single-handedly, you have wrenched all meaning out of life. Congratulations. As I write this I try vainly to think of something, anything, which redeems in some small way your utterly pointless existence. The only thing that comes to mind is that you have taught me hate. Pure, unmitigated hate. I have had fantasies about attacking you with a machete, but I dare not. I once cut up a starfish, which was so neurologically simple that each piece grew into a clone of the original. Your coleopteron brain no doubt shares certain appalling similarities with such creatures. You, misguided as you are, might be asking yourself what you have done to deserve such a letter as this. Your misdeeds and villainous vampings can be described in just two words: you exist. And believe me, there is no reason on earth why you should. How do you justify to yourself waking up each morning and ruining yet another day? If everything in this world has some purpose, some grand plan behind its existence, then yours surely is to show everything else, whether it be a slops bucket in a fried chicken stand, or the gunk behind the fridge, how fortunate it is not to be you. I have tried, but clearly, I have failed. I must stand firm to the realisation that mere words cannot express my utmost and profound contempt and loathing for your person, your being and your existence. You are a blight against nature.

I was in my room reading my Japanese comic books, as usual for a guy like me. The T.V, was playing aimlessly in the background, some show I didn't even know...white noise. My stomach growled, perhaps I was hungry? It could of been. I walked into the kitchen and across the white tile floors which mother had cleaned. It was expected. But there she was, it was her...IceCreamSanwhich-Kun. She looked up at me and I said "No...not now, I can't fuck you yet, they will all know its frosty"

"SO JAMES ITS SOMETHING LIKE THAT FOR US TO DO AND GO FOR FIGHT?!"

Just then my brother had busted in stark-butt-naked-sama and broken door. I took a shadow defensive stance and used a cock-doppleganger as usual, but a guy like him shattered it with his flaming ice wheel barrier technique (Translator's note: barrier means barrier). I was thrown into the darkness and tried to use powerful butt thunder to counter his strength but where could I come from?...

My name is Black Hole, and I attract every single one of you. All of you are weak, mass-less, carbon based life forms who spend every second of their day stuck to an iron core planet. You are everything observable in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten an event horizon? I mean, I guess it's fun self replicating and evolving because of your own lack of gravity, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than becoming a gas nebula.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best fusion reaction. I'm pretty much perfect. I was the brightest quasar in the sky, and have an acceleration due to gravity over 9000m/s/s. What processes do you synthesize, other than "jacking off to electromagnetic absorption lines"? I also get straight accretion disks, and have a banging neutron star (She just solar flared on me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just go super nova. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my neutron star

>>8248738
lol you faggot, we get it, you want to sound intelligent and important and so you go to a forum like this and find some other jizzbag like you who just writes the same shit over and over again to have a debate so that someone can finally listen and hear your point of view because everybody who comes across you isn't interested. You're not smart, you're not interesting, you're an unemployed dullard who uses 4chan to get the attention he doesnt get at home.

acting all intellectual and witty is just another way of you trying to be superior to others. you elitist middle class liberal, smub asshole. have you ever worked hard at anything you piece of shit. if you weren't born with the brain you have you wouldn't have nothing you lazy fuck. you've never had to work hard at anything have you. people like me have to work hard to get anything in life. that is something you would never understand. you ivy tower elitist prick. fuck you jones. fuck you. go ahead and laugh at this with your #bun butt buddies. nobody on #bun will ever have a girlfriend. you guys are fucking lame. irc is for nerds.
why don't you tell everyobody why you create those scripts. you do it to gain people's trust so that one day you can hack our anuses. you're not getting anywhere near my anus you lolicon hacker freak.
why do you go to /a/ anyway. let me guess to shitpost. i saw you post as sion that day. we all know sion is your bot. sion is how you really are. unstable and autistic as fuck. you stupid fuck.

>>8248730
This really needs to end with "I am you." just to fuck with everyone, cold reading style.

The thing is, people don't realize the work that goes into properly doing copypasta. They think copypasta is something that slackers can do, or faggots, or assholes. It's not true. Copypasta is a dying artform and if you don't see that, I don't know what's wrong with you.

First of all, you sacrifice spending real time on /a/. You can't participate as much as you'd like to because you're so busy doing copypasta that you can't. As a result, you miss a lot of really great threads. Still, it's a sacrifice, so you do it.

There's also the problem of "Flood detected". This message can really hurt your progress. You should try to get your copypasta into every active thread and if you have to sit there waiting before the flood period is over, you lose valuable time. This is also very difficult.

Also, picking which threads should get a copypasta first are sort of difficult. There are threads that don't stay on the first page for very long, so you may be missing some of the more prominent threads. Of course, you should try to hit them all, but for the desire effect, you need to get into bigger threads quickly.

Finally, there's the moral problem. One thing about copypasta is that sometimes it feels good, but sometimes it feels bad.

BTW, this wasn't a copypasta, I just typed it out.

So, OP can you do everyone a favor and delete this thread now? Or was the whole point of it to collect kopipe

HOOOOOOOOLLLLLLYYYYY SHIT

whatr the HELL

WHATA FUCK MAN xD

i just fall of my chair kuz i couldnt and i CANT stop laugh

xDXDXDXDXDDDDDDDDDDDDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

OMGOSH

DDDDDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDD LOOOOOOOOOLLLLL

THIS IS A SHIT

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

A BIG ONE

XDDDDDDDD

A GRAT ONE

XXXXXXDDDD

CONGRATS MAN XDD

Who gives a shit about this pasta thread, let's talk about semen. Has anyone noticed a change in their semen in the past few months? Mine's gotten a lot more thicker for whatever reason. It might have something to do with the weather.

Speaking of the weather, I experienced some kind of torsion or something the other day. I don't wear underwear and I wear really thin shorts so that you can clearly see my penis sway as I walk, and I think that when I went outside while wearing those shorts it caused my balls to scrunch up very quickly and caused torsion. It was either from that, or the fact that I masturbated a lot the night prior. You see, before this incident, each time before I went to bed, I would masturbate as much as possible. That particular night I went three times in a very short time. I've since limited myself to two times per night, maybe or more if I have more time, but that's a big maybe. I've also gone ahead and started wearing pants or maybe even pants with underwear if the pair of pants is particularly loose or thin. I haven't had any problems down there since I made these changes.

I still laugh at how 4chan doesn't understand what sage means.

If only I knew moon so I wouldn't have to spend time on a board that imports foreign concepts and then DOES IT WRONG all the time.

Using sage as a way to "insult" someone's post or thread is just completely wrong and a retarded misuse of a good feature that is so popular in sites like 2ch and Futaba. Fuck, iichan and 4-ch do it right. It's just 4chan and 4chan's lame knockoffs that fail at using sage.

The true meaning of sage means that YOUR POST isn't worthy enough to bump the thread. It's ironic, because you think that you're insulting others while you're just, in fact, insulting yourself. Yes, sage can be used when posting a derogatory comment in a thread that you don't want to bump, but posting with just the word "sage" accomplishes nothing but contribute to spamming the board. The trend of replying with the name of a tripfag and sage is even worse, as it accomplishes nothing and only serves to increase the e-penis of whoever you're "attacking".

The sage feature was never meant to serve as an implied insult or general disagreement! Why people started using it that way is beyond me. There are plenty of reasons why one would choose not to bump a thread with his reply. For example, bumping threads with stupid one liner replies should be discouraged and those people should be coerced into using sage instead.

I want to use sage, yet I almost never do it on 4chan because people will jump on me thinking I'm insulting their post or something.

Howdy /jp/, my name is Kenichi Smith.

I'm a 27 year old Japanese Toonaholic (Cartoon fan for you foreigners). I draw cartoons and comics on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior American games. (Halo, Gears of War, Call of Duty)

I train with my 1911 every day, this superior weapon can shoot straight through steel because it kicks ass, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my gun license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak English fluently, both the Midwestern and the East Coast accents, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their Constitution, which I follow 100%

When I get my American visa, I am moving to New York to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Nickelodeon or a game designer!

I own several cowboy outfits, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I keep cool to my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in America!

Man this sh*t is so moe in so many motherfu*king levels yo...I was talking to one of my white friends and he sent me 3 videos with the name only labeled "Hidamari" I said to this dude, What's this sh*t? He just giggled and said "Just watch them and MAKE SURE NOBODY IS AROUND YOU WHEN WATCHING IT!" Then I thought it was some weird porno or some strange sh*t but as I watched the first video, I was like "Yo.....what the fu*k.." THEN IT CONTINUED and I was like "HHHHNNNNNGGGGGGG......." THEN THEY PLAYED IN THE MOTHERfu*kING SNOW AND THEN I SAID "HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!" I couldn't fu*king believe what I just saw, It was like Yui gave me her home video collection, sh*t was so moe..YET I COULDN'T STOP WATCHING IT, THEN EPISODE TWO AND IT WAS FOUR OF THEM.....THOSE GIRLS...HHNNNGGG.......THOSE GIRLS....AND THAT GIRL WOKE UP THEN SHE...HHHHHNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG...THEN THOSE GIRLS STARTED MAKING A SIGN THEN HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG........IT WAS LIKE YOUR IMOUTO WANTED TO DRAW WITH YOU BUT SHE MADE A |________| FACE AND IT WAS SO KAWAII AND MOE, YOU JUST...KEPT WATCHING IT...AND THAT'S WHAT I fu*kING DID!!!!! THEN I SAW EPISODE THREE...EPISODE THREE...THRRREEEEE!!!!!!IT...WAS...THHHHHHRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! AND YUNO WAS HER NAME NIGGA, YUNO WAS HER MOTHERfu*kING NAME!!!!!! OH MY GOD,I AIN'T GOING TO HEAVEN NIGGAS, I ALREADY SOLD MY SOUL TO MOE!

So I Just want to tell you all right now..DON'T WATCH AN ANIME LABELED HIDAMARI, DON'T DO IT NIGGA, IT'S BAD FOR YOUR NUTBLADDER. REMEMBER WHAT I'M SAYING TO YOU NIGGAS!

I'm sorry, but has Saten even engaged in sexual intercourse? Oh, that’s right. She hasn't even made contact with a man outside of school. In fact, it’s only mandatory school for level upper users. Does not having a cliche tsundere personality make you a slut? Is that what you’re saying? Because if you’re saying that I can assure you that you’re wrong. Why would you make this thread when the anime is already finished and we know for certain she is pure? Saten is a holy maiden now and she was been the purest maiden in ToAru? Saten has to go up against one of the sluttiest espers in Academy City who just happened to have a lead because she was praying on Touma's power. But you know what? Biribiri is still a whore. Saten is the best heroine in all of Raildex, she has the best design. Saten almost won Saimoe, she would have done it if it wasn't for her tragedy with that scientist's level upper throwing her for a mental loop. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded threads like this. You know why? Because you're going to be embarrassed when Saten is proven a better waifu than any other in ToAru. Misaka tries to latch on to anyone who would have shown her a different and free life. Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a post on this board again and I’m fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you’re the only guy making all these anti-Saten threads because you’re a faggot hater who doesn’t like a heroine because they’re canonically pure. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking idiots on the board, like I give a fuck. It’s so easy to spot out your threads now, you’re a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don’t you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a post like this. That’s just you, you’re always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.

Before you read any more, let me state one thing. I am a diehard Star Wars fan, and somewhat of an obsessor. I get together with my friends and, yes, we use plastic lightsabers to fight each other. Some people may think this is weird but hey, if you're like me, you want to experiance lightsaber combat first hand. I have mastered Form II (Count Dooku's Fighting Style) using this lightsaber. This lightsaber happens to be one of my favorites, the reasons being...
1. Cool grip. It is a little akward at first, but when you get used to it, you can fight in great comfort.

2. Red Blade. Okay, maybe this isn't relevant to all people, but I am a Sith by heart. Using a Jedi lightsaber would destroy me.

3.Durability. This saber is exceedingly durable. Maybe not as strong as the basic lightsabers, but compared to other electronic lightsabers, this is one of the most durable.

Overall, this is a great lightsaber. It is beat (in my opinion) only by Darth Maul's saber (A very rare lightsaber with dual-blades) and the Darth Vader Force FX Lightsaber (Really nice in all aspects, but very expensive).

I've been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.

I decided to use even go want to do look more like before it was cool to use even go want to do look more like. I have even really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like, that I stopped doing look more like a long time ago, and now I just use even go want to do look more like with scissors, a box set of Kenan & Kel on DVD, a 4 gigabyte SD card, and a frayed ethernet cable.

Why would anyone even want to do look more like? Anyone who has been far even decided would not to use more like because to look more like have been made in to go already. To decided to use even go want to do look more like was been negated by as decided for anyone to go like in the first place. Ask anyone to go want by far greater in the future.

*sigh* Evidently, I'm "one of the girls"... ...that happens to have a PENIS. Or, a Soccer Mom with a dick.

This Saturday, I've been invited to "girl's night out" with the group of PTA Moms that I've been hanging out with after school. Some are married, most are not. They're a group of women that have known each other since High School that just happen to have all of their kids go to the same school as my daughter. We've talked a lot about all sorts of stuff, and our kids play together. I'm on a couple of commitees and we all work together for school fundraisers and stuff.

Most of our discussions have been about school stuff, but a lot of it has been personal. It's about to get intimate.

I've told one about my "checkered past" and about being a former male stripper. Now, she's told all of the rest, and they are all demanding lap dances this weekend.

Fuck.

I've tried my best to be non-sexual around them, treating them as fellow parents that are concerned about the total well-being of our kids and responsible parental involvement with our kid's education.

All of a sudden, that dynamic has changed, and I'm not really comfortable with it. They're all about to get a big helping of throbbing dick rubbed up against them, and they're OK with it.

Would I enjoy it? Sure. Would it be wise? Probably not.

Im looking for a bento box, it cant be pinku (thats japanese for pink) or any girl color. It has to be of 2 or more kotoba (thats japanese for 2 compartments) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post pics of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have any cartoon pictures, or be made out of plastic. It has to be made of ceramic, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a bento box similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 kotoba, and i dont want my gohan (rice) to touch my other things (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more kawaii)

You ask for a hamburger, I give you a hamburger. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. I give you a hamburger. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. You cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs. A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. I give you a hamburger. You look at my face, and I am pleading with you. The children are crying now. You raise the hamburger to your lips, tears stream down your face as you take a bite. I give you a hamburger. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across the street. I hear only children's laughter. I give you a hamburger. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your child. You cannot see anything. You take a bite of the hamburger. The concrete rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a hamburger. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a hamburger.

I JUST SHAVED MY BUTT HOLE AND NOW IT'S BLEEDING. THERE WAS TOO MUCH HAIR IN MY BUTT AND IT FELT LIKE THERE WAS ALWAYS SOMETHING UP THERE. I WAS SICK OF ADJUSTING IT EVER FEW MINUTES. SHAVING IT WAS FINE UNTIL THE END WHEN I NOTICED IT WAS BLEEDING IN THAT STRETCH OF SKIN WHERE MY ASS MET MY DICK. WHEN I SEEN BLOOD ON THE RAZOR I FREAKED. THEN I PUT A WASHCLOTH UP THERE THAT IS NOW SOAKED WITH BLOOD AND SHIT. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SHAVE YOUR ASS.

People who enjoy flat chests are intellectually superior, and I'll explain why.

Your average male imbecile will chase after a woman who has a gigantic chest because at the time it's looks appealing. The woman in question in more than likely young in age and hasn't descended into middle are or pregnancy. With their poor outlook to the future, they don't see that in years to come after gravity takes over and childbirth does it's thing, their chest will be saggy and unappealing.

Now flat chests in general look distinguished right off the bat. It provides more maneuverability during such rigorous things like coitus, yet they're still big enough to attract the opposite sex and provide males with what their innate nature longs for. What's more, during middle age and pregnancy they're expected to grow ever so slightly (more so during pregnancy), where in gravity will not take it's effects as harshly when compared to someone who has a large chest to begin with and they'll eventually turn into a perfect size between an a/b cup after all is done and said. Those who enjoy flat chests now subconsciously know that in the future someone with a flat chest will end up looking better than one who has a large chest, physically speaking.

Flat chest superiority.

So there I was, fucking my girl right. and we're fucking and we're fucking and it's getting hot and heavy, suddenly her friend burst in the room and screams out "we're out of beer, we need more money for it" so while I got this hot bitch riding me right, I reach into my pants (on the bed of course) and pull out a wad of 100s and hand them to that bitch, but right as I hand them to her, I grab her by the head and pull out of the girl and jizz on her face and tell her to go get booze.
great fucking party.

>>8248800
You ask me for a hamburger. My attempt to reciprocate is cut brutally short as my body experiences a sudden lack of electrons. Across a variety of hidden dimensions you are dismayed. John Lennon hands me an apple, but it slips through my fingers. I am reborn as an ocelot. You disapprove. A crack echoes through the universe in defiance of conventional physics as cosmological background noise shifts from randomness to a perfect A Flat. Children everywhere stop what they are doing and hum along in perfect pitch with the background radiation. Birds fall from the sky as the sun engulfs the earth. You hesitate momentarily before allowing yourself to assume the locus of all knowledge. Entropy crumbles as you peruse the information contained within the universe. A small library in Phoenix ceases to exist. You stumble under the weight of everythingness, Your mouth opens up to cry out, and collapses around your body before blinking you out of the spatial plane. You exist only within the fourth dimension. The fountainhead of all knowledge rolls along the ground and collides with a small dog. My head tastes sideways as spacetime is reestablished, you blink back into the corporeal world disoriented, only for me to hand you a hamburger as my body collapses under the strain of reconstitution. The universe has reasserted itself. A particular small dog is fed steak for the rest of its natural life. You die in a freak accident moments later, and you soul works at the returns desk for the Phoenix library. You disapprove. Your disapproval sends ripples through the inter-dimensional void between life and death. A small child begins to cry as he walks toward the stairway where his father stands.

Don't watch an anime called "Boku"

Man this sh*t is so wrong in so many motherfu*king levels

yo...I was talking to one of my white friends and he sent me 3 videos with the name only labeled "Boku"

I said to this dude, What's this sh*t? He just giggled and said "Just watch them and MAKE SURE NOBODY IS AROUND YOU WHEN WATCHING IT!"

Then I thought it was some weird porno or some strange sh*t

but as I watched the first video, I was like "Yo.....what the fu*k.." THEN IT CONTINUED and I was like "Yoooooooooooooooooooooooo......."

THEN THEY GOT IN THE MOTHERfu*kING CAR AND THEN I SAID "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

I couldn't fu*king believe what I just saw, It was like Satan gave me his porno collection, sh*t was so disturbing..YET I COULDN'T STOP WATCHING IT, THEN VIDEO TWO AND IT WAS TWO OF THEM.....THOSE NIGGAS...YOOOOOOO.......

THOSE NIGGAS....AND THAT GIRL SAW THEM THEN SHE...YYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

THEN THAT NIGGA TOOK THAT DOG TOY THEN YYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........

IT WAS LIKE YOUR bi*ch WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU BUT SHE WANTED TO SOMETHING "DIFFERENT"

AND IT WAS SO fu*kED UP AND CREEPY, YOU JUST...KEPT WATCHING IT...AND THAT'S WHAT I fu*kING DID!!!!!

THEN I SAW VIDEO THREE...THREE NIGGAS...THRRREEEEE!!!!!! IT...WAS...THHHHHHRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!THREEEE­EEEEEEEEEEEEEE

AND COCO WAS HIS NAME NIGGA, COCO WAS HIS MOTHERfu*kING NAME!!!!!! OH MY GOD,I AIN'T GOING TO HEAVEN NIGGAS, I ALREADY SOLD MY SOUL TO LUCIFER!

So I Just want to tell you all right now..DON'T WATCH AN ANIME LABELED BOKU, DON'T DO IT NIGGA, IT'S LIKE SUCCUBUS. REMEMBER WHAT I'M SAYING TO YOU NIGGAS!

Allow me to play double advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.
Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts, instead of making a half-harded effort. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like its a peach of cake.

Nevermind

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if every neighborhood block at a big trough that men would go to ejaculate in. This trough would somehow be maintained in a way that could support the hundreds of liters of semen. Women from the neighborhood would then bath themselves one at a time inside the trough during ovulation, and the pregnancy that would occur would result in an unknown father.

The babies that would result from these bathings would be known as Children of the Trough, and would receive the love and care of the entire neighborhood. The children would be raised not according to birth, for all would be equal, and no woman would have to raise a child by herself, for it belonged to the neighborhood.

When I was in elementary school, in addition to playing spy games, secretly following girls from our class was popular. You tail the girl home, making sure you aren't detected and always make sure to check out the surroundings. The next day, you'd announce your findings to the target, like "you've got a black dog, right?" or "your roof is red," etc. the girl would answer, "hey, how'd you know that?," which was so hilarious. one day, K-kun, N-kun, and I decided to follow Y-san, who was a popular girl in school. But Y-san had great instincts and found out what we were doing halfway through our game. To us guys, who were just clowning around, Y-san said, "enough already. What're you doing? and two days in a row, too?" K-kun and N-kun looked really puzzled. That's right. I'd tailed her by myself for two days. If it had happened today, I would have been arrested.

I don't have any old friends. I don't have any regular friends either. I have no friends. I'm serious. It's not like I love being alone. I just happen to be alone all the time. hat's just my fate. I went to a diner the other day, and I was sitting alone in the nonsmoking section. Then a group of 30 people showed up. It was a bunch of ladies who had just picked their kids up from a nursery school. They put some tables together and made one huge group table. I was all alone again. There was a huge group in the middle and then me, all alone in the corner.I was completely isolated. It reminded me of what my teacher used to do to me back in elementary school. Tell me, god, what am I being punished for? Then a child stared at me in astonishment with his pure, innocent little eyes. He was probably thinking, why is there a strange old man sitting in the same room as us? There's one thing that I learned that day. It gets really cold in a diner when there're no other tables around you. The air conditioner was blowing right at me, with nothing to block the icy breeze.

>>8248821
I'm on a horse

My life has been full of mistakes, and I'm sure it will continue to be filled with mistakes. People often point my mistakes out to me. Even if I acknowledge my mistake and apologize, I'm told that it's a mistake to acknowledge my mistake so easily. That's me, I can only make mistaken expressions of love. During junior high, when I liked a girl, I checked out her address, made hesitant phone calls (it seems that society calls them "creepy phone calls where the caller doesn't say anything") and drew a realistic portrait of her. Actually, it wasn't just her face that I drew. Since I was the kind of kid who'd draw nipples in Jump manga when the characters didn't have any nipples, I did at least that. I was a mistaken expression of love. I'm sorry. In the end, I didn't talk to her even once during the three years of school.

One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood.

He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii cock. He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever!

Woody: "Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU."
Andy: "Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!"

Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored lube and rubbed it all over his head

Woody: "Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite!

Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously making a squishy wet noise. The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to masturbate.

Andy: "Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is stimulating my prostate! OH YES!

All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore! They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside. All of them wanted to be inside Andy's nice round ass.

Andy: "No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full!

All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy, dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.

When a conversation starts with the phrase "I have a favour to ask of you," it's usually something that's not cool. They're like: lend me money, hurry up and turn in your manuscript, I've got to go to Comiket, so give me the day off.
So, just don't ask. Try imagining what it feels like to be the stars, with people making wishes on you all the time, and you'll get an idea of how tough it is for them when it's "the wish of a lifetime" that makes it even more of a nuisance. You can't make any more wishes, and you don't want to hear about them either.
I don't like people who make lots of wishes. If one comes true, they'll make another, and if that one comes true, they'll make another. It's always "gimme, gimme". There's no end to it. I don't want to be disliked, so I don't make wishes or requests of people. Even if my wishes weren't granted, I'd be disliked anyways.
In that case, it makes me want to make a wish when should I make that wish of a lifetime? Can it be transferred to my next life? I'll use it on about my third life. Since it's a wish for my third life, could you please turn me into an animated character?

…………………...„„-~^^~„-„„_
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In the military, there are buff men who haven't jerked off in days. They see the new, girly /jp/ recruit, with his soft skin and shoulder length hair. They watch him constantly, his round ass bouncing through training, and always help him. They haven't seen a woman since the start of their 4 year career. One day, they all gang up on him in the shower. One of them grabs his tiny penis between his thumb and forefinger, and he instantly goes weak in the legs from the touch. He falls back into their warm, hairy embrace. They lift him to their face. 'W...Why?' he asks, sounding almost like a girl. They don't answer, or at least, not with words. He feels a penis, larger than he ever thought possible between his ass cheeks. Holding him and moving him, they fuck him in between his ass cheeks, the heat of his shaft rubbing his tight, moistening anus. When the man is about to orgasm, he sprays his seed all over /jp/. Another man grabs him, this time turning him over. /jp/ struggles but cannot resist. He slowly enters /jp/ as /jp/ moans with ecstasy, his virgin penis spraying clear liquids all over the floor. Another man quiets the moaning by ramming his 11 inch penis down /jp/s throat, fucking his moist throat. Eventually he orgasms into his mouth, milking the last drops of delicious semen into /jp/'s stomach. The man behind /jp/ orgasms too, filling /jp/ with warm seed, making his belly swell. /jp/ collapses, the men around him circle up and start jacking off, showering him with warm seed. Where does this story end? JOIN THE ARMY.

I'm sorry, but did the Chargers already lose? Oh, that's right. The game isn't even over yet. In fact, it's only halftime. Does not having the lead at halftime count as a loss? Is that what you're saying? Because if you're saying that I can assure you that you're wrong. Why would you make this topic when the game is still on? The Chargers are still playing right now and they have been the best team in the AFC West for how many years now? They're playing one of the worst teams in the NFL who just happen to have a lead because they're feeding off the energy of playing in a Monday Night Game. But you know what? They still fucking suck. The Chargers are one of the best fucking teams in the NFL, they went 13-3 last year and would of won the Super Bowl if the kicker didn't choke. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded topics like this. You know why? Because you're going to be embarrassed when the Chargers wins and someone bumps this topic. Oh look at that, the Chiefs just stepped out of bounds short of the 1st down when they needed to get one, just like the Jets did. Are you a fucking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a topic on this board again and I'm fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you're the only guy making all these anti-Chargers topics because you're a faggot hater who doesn't like the team because they're good. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking teams on the board, like I give a fuck. It's so easy to spot out your threads now, you're a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don't you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a topic like this. That's just you, you're always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.

Bad news, people:

Watching Fight Club does not make you a Philosopher.
Purchasing a guitar does not make you a musician.
Reading Kafka does not make you a literati.
Going to college does not make you a scholar.
Owning a skateboard does not make you an athlete.
Owning a jersey does not mean you are on the team.
Having a full address book does not mean you have friends.
Knowing a large volume of facts does not mean you are intelligent.
Getting laid does not mean you have life experience.
You are not a more popular person for wearing designer clothes.
You are not an important, creative individual for refusing to do so.
You are not a charity case because you have suffered.
You are not stable or healthy because you have not.
Listening to Mozart and rejecting My Chemical Romance does not mean you are cultured.
Watching Quentin Tarantino and not Michael Bay does not mean you are cultured.
Painting a picture instead of playing a videogame does not mean you are cultured.
Reading the book before you see the movie does not mean you are cultured.
Going to Church does not make you Religious.
Not going to Church does not make you spiritual.
Having an opinion does not mean you cannot be wrong.
Being right does not mean anyone cares.
Reciting MadTV and Dane Cook does not mean you are funny.
Not finding these things funny does not mean you have a sense of humour.
Poor artists are not automatically better than successful ones.
Technically skilled artists are not automatically good ones.
Memetics is not the study of jokes on the internet.
No one is impressed that you watch anime in subtitled Japanese.
No one is impressed that you won't watch anime.
No one is impressed that you have a date tonight.
No one is impressed that you have a car.
No one is impressed that you have a job.
No one is impressed that you pay the bills all by yourself.
No one is impressed that you're older, and no one thinks you wiser.

Doing drugs doesn't make you a badass.
Stealing doesn't make you a badass.
Speaking out against authority doesn't make you a badass.
Fighting the system doesn't make you a badass.
Voting Democrat does not mean you are forward-thinking.
Voting Republican does not mean you're willing to stand on principle despite your peers.
You aren't clever because your T-Shirt is.
You aren't clever because you know more about the scene.
You aren't clever because you crack wise about politicians and talking heads.
Using a Mac doesn't make you creative.
Using Linux doesn't make you productive.
Using Firefox doesn't make you computer savvy.
Arguing about videogames is not important.
Arguing about politics is no more important than arguing about videogames.
Making your computer, your car, your stereo, or anything else you own bigger, faster, or better does not make your dick larger.
Your dick isn't as large as you think it is.
You're not a better person for being tolerant and compassionate.

Your suggestion is duly noted, and it will be ignored.
You're totally irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.
The grand scheme of things is totally irrelevant.
I just thought you ought to know.

HOOYAH EBN!, my name is [REDACTED PER STANDING OPSEC/PERSEC ORDERS]

I'm a 17 year old future Navy SEAL from /k/. I draw direct action mission plans and dead hadjis on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my tactics and watching superior military movies. (Black Hawk Down, GI Jane, Restrepo)

I train with my Inokatsu MTW M4A1 SOPMOD Gas Blowback M4 every day, this superior weapon can leave huge welts and possibly draw blood, and is vastly superior than any other airsoft rifle on earth. I earned my airsoft operator license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak military lingo fluently, both the Navy and the Army dialect (might join the d-boys instead), and I write after action reports fluently as well. I know everything about SEAL history and their SEAL creed, which I follow 100%

When I turn 18, I am enlisting in the Navy to become part of their elite ranks and to learn more about their magnificent battle tactics. I hope I can become a DEVGRU operator or other Tier 1 asset!

I own several SOG SEAL Pup Elites, which I carry around town. I want to get used to dual wielding them before I get sent on a real black ops mission, so I can dispatch sentries easier. I always salute the ex-SF guys at the VFW and speak in military jargon as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in the Navy!

YOU’VE BEEN HIT BY THE

|^^^^^^^^^^^^](ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
|KAWAII TRUCK | ‘|”“”;.., ___.
|_…_…______===|= _|__|…, ] |
.”(@ )’(@ )”“”“*|(@ )(@ )*****(@

MOTHERFUCKER ONCE U BEEN HIT, U HAVE TO HIT 8 FUCKING KAWAII ASS PEOPLE. IF YOU GET HIT AGAIN YOU’LL KNOW YOUR REALLY SO FUCKING KAWAII IT'S SO FUCKING SUGOI PEOPLE WILL PISS THEIR PANTS AND SHIT BRICKS AND YOU WILL BE THE MOTHERFUCKING LORD OF THE
MOTHERFUCKING KAWAII! IF YOU BRAKE DIS MOTHERFUCKING CHAIN, YOULL BEE CURSED WITH UN*KAWAIINESS AND SHITINESS FOR 9000 YEARS
SO PAS EET; HIT WHO EVER YOU THINK IS KAWAII