/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

What's wrong Pache?

[Anonymous No.]

I think she'd need quite a bit of magic to survive the delivery.

[Anonymous No.]

The miscarriage youkai.

[Anonymous No.]

why does she have pocky in her hair

[Anonymous No.]

Which hu would you impregnate?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12626582

Yes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12626582
Can I pick more than one? Like, all the 2hus?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12626582
I am going to repopulate Gensokyo single handed

[Anonymous No.]

>>12626533
pls no bully the patchi

[Anonymous No.]

>>12626582
Do I have to take responsibility?
If so, Keine.
If not, Yuuka, or maybe Youmu.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12626726
>Keine
Good man.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12626582
Kaguya

[Anonymous No.]

>>12626654
I'm sorry anon, but you can't impregnate your hand no matter how much you do it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12626582
Yuyuko, for reasons

[Anonymous No.]

There's been a lot of talk about impregnation on the jay recently.

Is it that pregnancy test may may from 2ch, or is it /jp/sie mating season?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12629711
I'm going to impregnate a /jp/!

[Anonymous No.]

>>12626368
Not my baby not my problem. Ideally I'd be shooting useless blanks.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12629711
Impregnation has always been my fetish!

[Anonymous No.]

>>12629750
It isn't a fetish, but a biological imperative.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12626726
>Keine
Nice you really are a good Anon.

Keine starts to have one of her cravings while pregnant.
Asks you to go to the river, and get her a fish at a specific size, weight, and color down to the last detail.
As a loving husband who's taking responsibility you go to that.
After hours of fishing you finally get that fish.
You come home ready to cook the fish for her, and have her PO'ed for 1) leaving her alone at home while pregnant, 2) taking so long to go get the fish.
You're so going to get caved.

>>12626582
Shiki Eiki. Love that Yama.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12629756
It may become the fetish if you will it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12626794
yuyuko would be awesome to impregnate, so warm, soft and huggable.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12629767
>Five Night at Keine's

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635038
Don't insult Keine like that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635057
Sorry mate, can't argue, too busy running the fuck away from Keine's place.

I'm sure the Forest of Magic is less dangerous than the Human Village at night.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635063
Pffft, what the hell is that?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635063
What are you, gay?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635063
>Running away from Keine's
Its like your not trying to take responsibility.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635063
If you don't want to get violently fugged by a randy EX Keine then I have nothing to say to you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12626582
I might be the only one on the jay who would have sex purely for recreation. For fun. All my sperm would be dead and sterile.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12629711
>/jp/ mating season

That's always and never at the same time.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12629711
>/jp/sie mating season?
Everyone on /jp/ is constantly horny all the time. Sometimes we just forget about how horny we are and we manage to talk about something else.

[Anonymous No.]

Would judge Shiki Wiki make a good mother? What 2hu's would?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635508
Byakuren would be best tier mother.
Suwako would just abandon her kid somewhere.
Kanako would raise her daughter without telling her she's her mother.

Yukari raise ḩ̛̦̜̰̳̠ͯ̇͒͋ͦ̌ͫͤ͒̂̌̏͊̾ͫ̌͂͡͞eͬͪ̒͌ͨ̋̀̒̔̄͆͏̛͕̺̺ṙ̛͖͍͕̯͓͖̻̺̣̹̮͖̞̻ͭ̒̓̇͐̀́̚͡ ̾̌ͤ͊͒ͭ͛̓̌̅̇̊͆̄͏̸̬̱̠̬̞̥͙͉̮͎̱́͘͞k̨̨̻̫̩̮̱̬̖̳̖̭̳̠͎̝̙͚̄͌̅͛͆͗̀̕͠i̧̝͕̭̝͛͑̓̇̿̌͟ͅd̸̴̡̪̯̲̥̦̜͖̠̘̟ͫ͌ͪ͊̒͐̈̂͋̅̏͌̋̂̃͊́̿̿͢s̡̫͓̪̦̼̳̫̜̠͚̣ͪ̆̽̔ͥ͆ͦ̄̂͐̅ͥͪ͌̄͑ ̼̟͔̟͉̘͈̺̃̂̈͐͌ͨ̾̑̋͜t͍͍̜̙̗̲̹͔͚̪̜̭̖̣̖͖̉ͪͪͥ̉ͩ̒ͨ̆͂͛̑̋̀̚͢͡͡͠ö́̋̿ͨ͏̧̛̲̣̠͙͇̯̗̱̤̪ͅͅ ͒̓͒̃̔ͩ̅ͬ̋͋̐ͪ̓̂ͦ̀̚͏̨͜҉͓̻̹̻͕̰͇͠b̸̷̶̵̩͖̜̼̬̭̙̝̳͎̖̼̻͎̠̊̽̽́̾̍̓̍ͪ͋̔̄̄ͬ̚e̩̫̟̠͍̦̖̮͙̱̞͊ͪ̍ͥͯ͂ͬ͛̽ͨ̀͜ͅͅ ̷̴̃̽̔̆̑̓̌̎̔̋̔̒̊̎̃̆̌̀͞҉͙̣̣̦̩̦̪͉̱̣̮̝̩̦̬͔̮̪ͅm̵͍̤̪͇̻̟̣̪͐ͭͥ̽̽̆͢ͅå͎̳̙̦͖͍̳̮̯̫͓͈̠̻̠̐͂͛́͠s̴̰̬͚̺̔̊̿͆̆ͩ͛͊ͨͮ̒ͧͫ̽͑̌̓ͥͭ͘ͅt̡̢̛̝̗̝̹̘̻̠͇͔͚͈ͨͨͥ̍̑̆e̸̸͓̪̤̯̝̮̓͆ͧ̿r̶̴̨̧̘̤͙̩̹̫͙̖͔̪̟̜̻͛ͣͤ͡ ̢̋͂̂̆̒̒ͤ͗̓̎́̈́ͦͪ͛̇ͭ҉҉̴̝̬̼̗̪ö̵̻̩̺͕̣͈̳͔̽͆ͫ́͢͞f̸̸͍̦̹̘̪̹̻͚̥͚͇̩̿ͦ͂̈́̈́͢ ̀̃ͬ̓̀ͭͩ̎̐̊̅̃̏͏̸̯̜͖͉̘͍̟͕̥̩̝͔͎̣̰͔̮̻͟ͅt̵̴̢̲͕̭͓̠͎̣̫̺̞̊ͨ̑ͭ̎̓͌͂̂̒͗̑h̸̙̤͎̱̖̓̇͛̎͆̊̏͆̾̐̆ͭͤ̀e͇̬̲̝̝͇̻͖͋́ͨ͂̌̌ͫͤͪ́̆̔͌̄͛̇͌̊̚̕͢ ͭ̽́ͨ̏̔͛̓ͬ͊̕̕͡͏͕͍̙̬̬͎̭̺̖̯̖͙bͦ̄̌̅ͪ̓͐̎̀̑̈́̔̚҉̵͏͏̺̠̥̤̜̯̮̘ͅo̷̢̡͐ͣ̍̇̑̎͒̈̀ͥ͆ͤ҉͏̠̺͙̝̪̞ͅŗ̧̘̞̤̠͖͎̓̒ͥ̄̄͗ͣͩ͐̀ͣ̚͜d̷̵͈̰̭̙̝͍̦̗̫̹͒ͣ̓͡e̷̢̢̟̤̜̰͍̩͓̳̻͙͙͍̎̌̐͌́̅̅̓͞͡r̡̪̻͍̞̰͋̋́̃ͯ̍ͬͬ̊̋̒͊ͣ̉̽̈́ͯ͡͞s̻̠̱̙͕͉̗̭͔̗̺͍̰̻͕̰̳̪ͨ̎͆̉͋̓͒́͢͠
Ran would do great too, I guess

[Anonymous No.]

>>12626582

Suika!

Onis can get pregnant from humans! Japan taught me that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635508
Keine.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635534
Not Keine, she enjoys beating kids too much.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635508
Shiki would scold you for even thinking of trying to put a bun in her oven. And she would know, too.

other 2hus? Probably Mokou and Keine by virtue of actually being used to having non-tea party related responsibilities. For that matter maybe Youmu as well, but she seems to be a little tied up with her responsibilities.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635546
So nanoka is just a delinquent child, Keine has lots of patience

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635554
>mokou
>taking care of a kid

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635560
Dude, where's my quote?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635556
But once her patience runs out, she starts whipping her students.
You have to admit it's not a good way to take care of kids.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635582
>>12635546

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635582
You have to be firm with your kids, dude! God knows what punishment other 2hus would visit upon them for doing something wrong - inviting them to a tea party, maybe? They'd just never learn!

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635522
>Byakuren would be best tier mother.
She would teach her kid to be a master deceiver.

>Suwako would just abandon her kid somewhere.
That's mean bro.

>Kanako would raise her daughter without telling her she's her mother.
The daughter is going to ask eventually if Kanako is raising her.

>Yukari would raise her kid to be master of the herders.
I can believe that.

>Ran would do great too.
I can believe that.

What about Eirin, Yuuka, Toyo, Yuyuko, Meiling, Remilia, and Seiga?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635982
>Eirin
probably pretty good considering how she treats everyone in Eintei

>Yuuka
fucking terrible unless her offspring somehow is a sunflower

>Toyo
the kid would grow up a insufferable snobbish brat just like the mother before it

>Yuyuko
hard to say...she seems alright with Yomou though probably pretty decent

>Meiling
hahahahahahahaha...oh wait you're serious AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>Remilia
can vampires even reproduce? if so probably as bad if not worst than the Toyo situation

>Seiga
terrible, monks aren't supposed to have kids anyway

[Anonymous No.]

Question: Would you be able to impregnate Mokou and Kaguya with as many children as you want at the same time, given they can't die? Could they host upward of 20 or more kids at once? Imagine how big their wombs could stretch (read: infinitely) because of their inherent immortality.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635982
Yuyuko would be a great mother in that she'd defer her motherly duties to Youmu, who would probably be a great mother

as a vampire, Remi's organs are desiccated and she can't bring a pregnancy to term.

Eirin has lived long enough to be visible on a geological timeline many times over. She's probably got an almanack of children she's outlived.

Yuuka is a mystery.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635989
>hahahahahahahaha...oh wait you're serious AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sorry, what?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635989
>Meiling
>Laughter
Dude that's just awful. Meiling could make a great mother. If I was you I was save the laughter for Sakuya, or Patchy as they would fail.

So what about sweet loveable Iku? Dear Aki Minoriko, Nazrin, Shou, and Momiji.

>>12636005
I'm pretty sure Mokou, and Kaguya despite their immortality still have an average female womb.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635530
Sauce?

[Anonymous No.]

This is why you get them before they're of age to procreate.

[None !u.ddykRmDU No.]

>>12635989
>Toyo
>the kid would grow up a insufferable snobbish brat just like the mother before it
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA you're a funny one, secondary.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12636030
Here's what I imagine for Nazrin. She is responsible, so I think she'd be at least a decent mother. I think she'd be a bit on the stricter side and might have high expectations of the child, which can unintentionally be a bit suffocating. I can also imagine her having trouble understanding the mind of a young child which could cause issues every once in a while. I'd imagine Nazrin being protective of her child, and would have trouble respecting his/her freedom and personal space unless with a little bit of convincing from either her husband or her child when he/she is mature enough to make a decent argument. But I think she'd be very loving. When she strictly scolds her child, she'd always make sure to show that she still loves him/her. She'd care a lot for the child and spoil him/her when he/she gets sick, in contrast to her usual strict attitude. She'd properly praise and reward the son/daughter when he/she did something worth praising. She'd brag about her kid to the people at the temple to the extent that it would slightly annoy them. Her offspring would be her pride and joy.

[Anonymous No.]

Meanwhile Seija ends up impregnating you instead.

And you don't even need to worry about Nitori she just built three new loli kappa androids.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12636030
>Aki Minoriko
Would probably spoil her kid.
Nazrin
What >>12636197 said.
Shou
She would be a cooldere, trying to be impressive when in public, and being extremely proud of her kid once they're alone.
>Momiji.
Total discipline. No laugh allowed, no fun allowed, whatever she or her superior say is an order to obey no matter the reason.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12635989
Do you know what a Dhampir is?

[Anonymous No.]

I don't understand how semen could actually make its way inside a vagina

[Anonymous No.]

>>12636030
>I'm pretty sure Mokou, and Kaguya despite their immortality still have an average female womb.

Which 2hu has the biggest womb?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637182
Byakuren.
She's a Buddhist, she knows of her needs, and she control them to reach Nirvana and the ultimate balance.

Which means she's craving for a spanking and a dick plunged in her vagina, but controls her hunger of dicks.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637162
Didn't you study that at school?
Honest question, we studied that, but extremely quickly, and nobody in the classroom joked. T'was one of the most silent lecture I ever saw.

The other was when the Green Giant literally kicked a student out of his class. And he was wearing safety shoes, too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637219
Buddhists aren't really known for being fertile. Fuck, most of them are bald.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637224
And Byakuren is bald since...?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637225
she's definitely wearing a wig

real hair doesn't come in that color

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637226

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637225
You thought that wasn't her accessory?

[Anonymous No.]

does she have the ebola?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637115
No Iku?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637341
She would be a pretty good mother, me think.
She's already used to "take care" of Tenshi.

[Anonymous No.]

Futo is best mother.
Try to prove me wrong.
Protip : you can't.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637341
She's a babysitter, not a mommy

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637162
Sperm cells self-propel with their tails, they instinctively travel towards the womb, the whole way being a pretty much an obstacle course full of death traps and immune system cells trying to eat them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637593

Where are you supposed to shoot the cum?
Into the channel of the vagina? Into the womb directly?

[Anonymous No.]

I would impregnate all 2hus and run away from my responsibilities!

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637647
Death comes fast for you. All 2hus are lethal.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637855
I'll just kneel and take responsibility, then run away again at an opportune moment.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637593
>they instinctively travel towards the womb
Like auto-guided rockets? It's awesome.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637593
Unless you're Sanae, in which case her ovum just rolls out the red carpet!

Even her eggs want to be penetrated by millions at once!

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637952
Sanae is a pure Japanese woman who would have been used as a comfort girl during wwii.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638014
Please no.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638014
Sanae is swelling with half-American war babies!

[Anonymous No.]

Would Reisen, Aya, and Letty make great mothers?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638045
Reisen would just have a PTSD freak-out and run away, leaving you with the baby.
Aya would leave you too with the baby, but would bring you food and shinies each sunset before snuggling against you and cawing.
Letty would be a decent mother during autumn, in winter she would be constantly out of the house, and during spring and summer she would be depressed and unable to take care of the kid.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637593
That's not the problem, the problem is how the sperm get there.
How on earth does the semen from one person end up INSIDE someone else?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638096
You shouldn't concern yourself about such things.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12637624
At the bottom of the vagina, pretty close to the cervix. You can't put your dick through it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638084
>Reisen getting PTSD, and running away.
Kek. I hope your joking.

>Aya snuggling up against you, and cawing.
That's fucking adorable

>Letty
Sounds good.

So running out 2hu's Futo, Alice, Kaguya, Parsee, and um Tenshi. Anons

[Anonymous No.]

Letty would go on 3-month business trips during the summer, but she would also bring boxes of cool souvenirs when she got back. During the spring and autumn months she would become pic related and never leave the house

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638350
Parsee would be stereotypical asian mother.
Alice would most likely mentally scar the shit out of her children by constantly threatening them and having dolls watch them in their sleep.
Kaguya, she'd raise her children like any royalty: by hiring people to do it for them. Probably a bunny.
Tenshi? Unwed teen pregnant daughter, guaranteed.
futo would raise a child well but they'd never learn to assert themselves

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638378
Yeah, "business trips".

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638406

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638406
Well shit I'm now popping 2hu's out at this point:
Sanae, Marisa, Reimu, Komachi, Elly, Shinki, and um..fucking...Chen?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638350
>Kek. I hope your joking
Do you know that you need to be over 18 to be on 4chan?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638407

[None !u.ddykRmDU No.]

>>12638350
Futo
Would try to raise her kid according to Taoism precepts, but because of her clumsiness, they would probably convert to Buddhism during their rebellious phase.
Alice
Would probably test their power constantly and try to determine if it's interesting from a magical point of view to have kids with a non-magician.
Kaguya
She would be pretty cool as a mother, raising her kids to be diplomatic backstabber fighting with words.
Parsee
No idea.
Tenshi
She would be asking her father and the other celestians for help on how to raise a kids, until she finally get tired of being told "Have you no shame? Having a kid with a non-celestial is...", which would lead to her showing the middle finger to Bhava Agra and settling on the surface to live with her husband. And she would raise her kid to never take bullshit from everyone and fight for what she believes is right, no matter what everyone else think.

>>12638428
Sanae
Meh. Would raise her kid to be another wind priestess, while telling her that maintaining a Kochiya dynasty is important, and that Kochiya are blessed by the gods.
Marisa
Would probably move her house a bit closer to the village, or even move in her husband's house, until the kid's old enough to fly. Probably would teach the kid to defend itself, without teaching it magic. Unless it asks for be taught.
Reimu
Laxist education, based on "do what you want but don't be annoying or I'll slap your shit until you can't even cry".
Komachi
No idea. Would probably be constantly working while the husband takes care of the kid.
Elly
No idea either. Would probably teach her kid how to fight with improvised weapons.
Shinki
Would perfectly balance between the carrot and the stick and be a perfect teacher, but wouldn't be a loving mother and would never hug her kid.
Chen
Would be asking Yukari's and Ran's help at first, and would slowly become confident, eventually relying more on her husband and herself instead of relying on her master and her master's master.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638457
I like the Tenshia and Marisa, but Sanae is weird.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638457
Tenshi's already a black sheep of the family, I doubt she'd even bother asking for help

she'd raise her child the same way anyone with a bad relationship with her family would: poorly.

[Anonymous No.]

Parsee would be the worst case of "Keeping up the Joneses" ever. She is one of those parents who asks the kid to look at their friends' houses and tell her about what their parent's own. Probably a lot of pressure on the kid to succeed. Of course none of this comes out in public.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638483
"B minus? You wanna wind up being a midboss like that devil whore??"

[Anonymous No.]

What about Ichirin?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638533
Who's Ichirin?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638536
She's very popular you know!

Don't spread rumors like 'nobody knows that girl in the habit'!

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638545

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638545
I don't know any touhou named Ichirin.

>>12638550
Who is that?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638555
Ichirin Kumoi!
She is absolutely, positively, the talk of the town!

[None !u.ddykRmDU No.]

>>12638564
I don't know any touhou called Ichirin Kumoi.
Please don't post original characters.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638533
Honestly? Top percentage parent.Strong values, but doesn't take her religion too seriously. 24/7 Childcare with Unzan (cloud cradle). Massive support group and social links. child would not grow up to be a youkai-racist

[None !u.ddykRmDU No.]

>>12638580
>child would not grow up to be a youkai-racist
0/10 worst mother around.
Youkai are scums, their only place is Hell.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638609
There's not enough cute waifu material.
I'd love a slice-of-life story focusing on Tenshi trying to be a good wife. Like the S.S. Goodwife one for Utsuho, minus the contemporary setting and annoying Utsuho mini clone.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638498
Sounds like my mother.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12636005
I like the way you think

[Anonymous No.]

>>12639380
Decent mother. Probably would leave her child to a human in the human village as she stays b in the bamboo forest.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12639943
I wish my mom had the kindness to do the same

[Anonymous No.]

>>12639950
That sarcasm. Somebody post remaining 2hu's and if they will be good mothers like Komachi, Patchy, etc.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12638609
>>12638656
This is nice. Really nice.

[Anonymous No.]

Which 2hu do you think would be a shitty mother?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>12639982

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640047
Poor kid. At least he'll be living in the lap of luxury.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640081

Or killed for being part earthling

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640081
He'll grow up to sire the lineage of Japanese emperors.

He's also half fucking shark.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640155
That's one hell of a craftsman to make a ring that size.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640155
How is this possible?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640789
Step 1: Put her in a cup.
Step 2: Cum in the cup.
Step 3: Let her soak in the cum and finger herself for 30 minutes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640803
This is my fetish

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640174
Couldn't she just get a normal ring and shrink it with her?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640864
She can, yeah.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640789
She shrinks you down with the hammer and you have lewd times with her in Reimu's panty drawer.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640055
Looks like someone passed by her filed, and threw the baby at her before running away.

[Anonymous No.]

For some reason, I'd like to see a motherly Seija story.
She would probably dress and raise her daughter as a boy, just to mess with the other kids.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640864
Of course she could. Maybe she's not even small in that image.

Not that these secondaries >>12640174 >>12640789 would've known that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640936
Kek

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640965
The unbirthing crowd must be having a field day with her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12640936
I like to idealize "Evil" women as being great mothers

A self-serving individual should be invested in securing the safety and success of their genetic protege and posterity, no?

Cruel to others, but caring with their own flesh and blood

Yeah, it might not make sense, but a lot of traditional folklore and mythology has witches and hermits still caring about their children or whatever they may consider as such.

Plus, it's extremely moe
Evil, cruel, and wicked villains still being doting and caring mothers in private is moe~!

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641256
>Caring mothers in private.
Don't forget great waifu's as well. So sad the chance of getting Seiga is low, even if her husband is dead.

[Anonymous No.]

Would make literally best mother, and who would make worst? Out of all the 2hus.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641364
Suwako (canon MILF)

Alice (Would msitake the daughter as a doll)

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641364
>Would make literally best mother, and who would make worst?
Aya would be best mother.
Flandre would probably kill out of frustration because it's constantly crying, or Eirin would grow disappointed because her kid isn't a genius like her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641502
I don't think Alice would mistake her daughter for a doll.

>>12641540
Flandre your right I think unless she has epiphany, and changes hugely. Eirin would still her daughter or son, and she shouldn't set her expectation high if she bred with a lowly impure human.

[None !u.ddykRmDU No.]

>>12641562
Eirin doesn't care much about purity. She's above the other lunarians with their fake pure land.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641562
>>12641583
Eirin's immortality is somewhat erotic
Just imagine all the children she could birth...

[None !u.ddykRmDU No.]

>>12641596
Basically CKII easy mode.
Have a lot of kids, send them everywhere as spies, and take over Gensokyo.

I miss that mod.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641596
>Imagine all the children she can have.
Don't you mean willing to have? I think Eirin if she was to marry a human, and if they wanted children she would make sure that they would only have enough kids they could both handle. 1-2, and after they are grown maybe 1 more.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641614
Unrelated, but I want to defeat /jp/ in a match of Dark Deeds!

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641649
No
Just have as many kids as possible and make Reisen help raise them

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641716
That's not a good plan.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641716
>Leaving your children to Resein
You do understand how much you fucked up leaving your child to a moon rabbit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641562
Less literal mistaking, but treating her like one. Think of all those dresses Alice has made over the years, and now she has someone to inflict them all on. That kid would be the one picked on at school for dressing weird, because only their mother could appreciate the 1950s strapless organza with the bows.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641256
Mother stealing from all the other families on christmas eve to give you the best presents would be amazing

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641835
Best mother, Seiga. So sad there are no Christians in Gensokyo right, Yukari?

>>12641828
Alice makes he's clothes so it's all good

[Anonymous No.]

Decent mother right?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12642316
No.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641502
Suwako seems like the type to have a baby, dtich it and have a human raise it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12642451
She's a god. When do gods have time to raise kids?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12642316
Too politically engaged. She would consider her kid as a mean to advance in the hierarchy and get closer to the Imperial Throne and stay in Miko's heart.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12643027
>To advance in the imperial throne.
So sad it doesn't mean that much in (Terms of power) outside of Gensokyo.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12643652
It doesn't even mean much in Gensokyo.

But that's okay because Miko got her own pocket dimension.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12643652
Yep, but she's used to it. Old habits die hard.
I don't know if Japanese lords had concubines back then, but I know competition was fierce between Chinese concubines to be the favorite.

Granted, she doesn't have much competition. For now. Unless you go by the secret endings where Marisa/Reimu/Sanae converts to taoism.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12642316
Can she even give birth?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12643687
Why do you ask that?
Can't you just believe in magic, in a woman's womb? How the music can free her, whenever it starts? And it's magic, if the music is groovy, it makes you feel happy like an old-time movie. I'll tell you about the magic, and it'll free your soul but it's like trying to tell a stranger bout rock and roll.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12643687
>>12643710
If she can fuck, she can give birth!

[Anonymous No.]

>>12643687
If Youmu is half phantom I'm pretty sure ghost like beings can have sex, and give birth.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12641879
Refer to this for Seiga's opinions on Christmas:
http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Symposium_of_Post-mysticism/Bunbunmaru_Newspaper_4

[Anonymous No.]

>>12643879
Youmu didn't have a ghost mother and a regular father, she's from a race that has two separate bodies, one human and one ghost

[Anonymous No.]

>>12643710
>>12643721
>>12643879
If her lower half is ghostlike, where do you put the dick to impregnate her? Os is it some lesbian magic thing?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12643913
If you two are lovers, and she's ready gently stick it into the floating stuff where her legs are supposed to be, gently ease her to the floor, lock hands, begin to thrust slowly picking up your pace as you go. Whisper sweet nothing into her ears as you finish with your sticky goo floating inside her which will disappear over time. Wait x amount of time. If her stomach becomes big congratulations you impregnated her, and now need to take responsibility.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12643963
>take responsibility
Nah, I'll proceed to impregnate other 2hus and run away.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12643968
And this how you end up with nothing left to bury.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12643980
I left them my genes and the place with single mother 2hus.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12643984
So sad all the 2hu's wouldn't fall for you, and you can't rape them.

Yukari is best mom.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644074
All 2hus are best mom since they carry my child.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644095
Kek

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644074
Yukari is your dad

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644200
Reminds of of that one Raildex doujinshi.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644216
So we talked about best mom, but who would be best wife, and the reason why?

Examples out of these who would make best wife: Reimu, Marisa, Milo, Yuyuko, Youmu, Aya, Nazrin, Shou, and ugh Meiling, Iku, Reisen, and Eirin.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644218
Can't speak for others, but for me personally?

Reimu. The reason is, she's perfect.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644218
Based Milo

But seriously, Erin. over 10k years knowledge, already has a good job, never get sick, probably a great cook, even ignoring all the Horai stuff.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644218
Iku. She's calm-headed, and can say if you're in a bad mood and need to talk about your job or not.

But I also like the idea of Aya snuggling against you as you're half-asleep in front of the TV.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644378
Both of these are adorable as fuck. I wonder what other 2hu's would do?

>>12644296
Sounds like the perfect woman so long as she doesn't stop exterminating.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644539
Yuyuko would be about going out and trying new restaurants.
Youmu would be hardworking, and you would need to insist to get her to relax and have private time.
Nazrin would be a bit similar, being dutiful and all. Until she get one. Then, she would change into more relaxed clothes, ask for a hug, and hug you back for 10 minutes until she forget her day.
Shou would try hard to not mix family and work, but would sometimes forget and ask you to run some errand while being in the middle of a ceremony or a ritual, reminding you to buy some bread because you're out of food for the week-end. Also she would turn into a tiger while she's sleeping and would hug you tighly, especially during winter.
Meiling would be... shit I dunno.
Reisen would rely a lot on your to get things done around the house, and will refuse to tell you how work went today because she has an obsession with secrets and wouldn't want Eirin to think she's telling her secret to everyone. Even you. If you ask her, she's "protecting you, my boss really does not like human, you know, and her stepdaughters are even worse". And of course, Eirin would be perfectly aware that you're seeing Reisen and even that you married her, but wouldn't mind as long as you're not trying to take her pupil/slave/fellow exiled away from her because Reisen's a risk.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644569
Man the 2hus sound so nice. Now do he ones that weren't named like Miko, Patchy, Remilia, etc

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644611
Miko? You mean Toyosatomimi, or Reimu's fanon mother?
Patchy... Well, I guess she would be quite distant for several days, until her experiments are over. Once it's done, she flies back to her room, and start complaining that her familiar is bad, that the experiment almost crashed, that it was a huge disappointment. And she looks at you from the corner of her eye, expecting you to comfort her by saying "you haven't lost your sold to a demon, so the experiment isn't a complete failure, and you learned something. You'll do better next time." And then she hugs you or something like that.
Remilia... She would try to be constantly, extremely dignified. Until you two are alone. Once that's the case, she drops the act, and wants you to spoil her, laying on the bed with her head over your knees, opening her mouth while you're peeling tangerines or breaking chocolate into small part to feed her. And then someone knocks at the door and Remilia teleports from the bed to the middle of the room, doing her best to be charismatic as fuck.

I think they would be like that, yeah. But don't ask me to write stories, I only have ideas, no skills.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644218
Yuyuko, probably.

She's pretty much the archetypal Japanese lady of the court, excellent at scheming to get herself on top. What's good for you is good for her, then, so she'd be a very useful wife indeed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644652
But Yuyuko was a countryside noble, she never was at the Imperial court.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644655
I'm talking about her demeanor and skills, not her actual job description.

You know, like the entire plot of SSiB. She WAS the silent sinner in blue

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644631
I think he's talking about Toyosatomimi Miko. Some nice ideas though...Byakuren, Futo, Tojiko.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644696
Okay. Toyosatomimi and the rest of the Taoist cast, then. Let me think.
I think Toyosatomimi would be a bit like Remilia, trying to be all charismatic, putting airs, all that. But when you're alone with her, she drops her cape, take off her sword, and starts sighing until you ask her how was her day. If you don't, she stares at you in a mischevious way, kinda like a cat, and then begin describing all your desires, including the lewd one, while enjoying your blushing. Also, she would diplomatically agree to most things you ask (I'm not thinking of sexual stuff here, I mean "going out with friends and stuff), but would refuse to hang out in the Human Village with you ("I have an image to preserve"), or to let you hang out alone with your friends. And no matter how hard you insist, it would not work.

Futo would be a bit like Shou, I think, being overly familiar in public, talking about your sexual tastes ("So thou have a thing for ponytail, truly I am blessed to have find thee first") while you're both in the middle of the Senkai. She still would be fanatically loyal to Toyosatomimi, while being close to you. Just mention you went near the Buddhist Shrine, and she's near you, touching you almost everywhere, asking if you're okay, if you met scary youkai, if you got into trouble. She would try to convert you to Taoism, because she can't help but worry about you, since you're just human. She wouldn't say it, but as long as you're human, you would be just like a dog : a loyal, cute companion to snuggle with, but one she can't be attached to, because in the end, you will die and she won't. But become a hermit, and we will start to trust you and really love you as a husband instead of being just a companion.

Tojiko will come later, reached limit.

[Anonymous No.]

Tojiko would too be supportive of your efforts to become a hermit, but rather than it being for your or her own good, she would only consider your usefulness as Toyosatomimi's servant. Ultimately, if you become powerful enough to assist the Taoists, she would truly respect and love you, but you'll always feel like she's not really into it, you'll feel like the guy recovering a woman who just divorced while being still in love. She's loving her, yeah, she's trusting you, yeah, but in the end, you would feel that despite all your efforts, you cannot really feel like a couple, and you will be hurt by the way she looks at Toyosatomimi. During the night, after the evening sex, she sometimes will confess that she miss the old Shoutoku, and regrets his transformation into a woman, and you will pretend you don't care about that, you will try to comfort her, but deep inside, each time she talks about Toyosatomimi, you will feel bad, because you will hate Miko, while feeling terrible for hating the one that accepted you. And years will go by, and nobody will notice how much you're suffering, jealousy, angry, that feeling of being someone she married out of convenience, it will slowly get to you and poison your mind and body. Tojiko will be oblivious to it, Futo will be oblivious to it, and Toyosatomimi will be too busy with other desires to notice your cry for help, and you're going to give up and get killed by the shinigami when it'll come for you.

Morale : don't marry a girl who's already married.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644790
Got dropped by your girlfriend or what?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644790
I read some depressing stuff before, but this takes the cake. Man..

How do you not have a job as an idea person? I want more idea's from you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644862
Because having an idea is easy. Making a book/TV show out of it is hard.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644790

This is why harem is the only acceptable option.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644925
Harems will get you killed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644921
Do one for every 2hu, or most famous one's.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644935
My favorite touhou is Yorihime. If you want to know what I think of a peculiar touhou, gimme her name, because I think I already did the most famous one, like Remilia, Reisen, Patchy or Miko.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644940
Keine, Tenshi, Shiki, Komchi, Shinki, Yuuka, Marisa, Yuugi, Momiji, Mokou, Kanako. These are all the arrows to the knee's I can currently think of, too many 2hu's.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644218
Wouldn't "best wife" be highly up to opinion?

Any Touhou you'd want to marry should fit your qualities for the best wife, even if they don't have traditional wifey traits.

Well, unless she's never at home and goes out to fuck other men or something, but even that has a cuckold niche.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644980
True, but best wife is one where there is a majority agreement in them being a good wife.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644952
Keine is a bit hard.
I think she would be a decent, but average wife. Coming home to quickly prepare dinner before you come home, complaining about kids being annoying, telling you cute tales of kids trying to be brave, stuff like that.
But she would often go out, in order to visit her friend in the Bamboo Forest, or for some unscheduled town meeting, always during a full moon. Growing suspicious, you would follow her, jokingly expecting her to get drunk by herself, hoping she's not cheating on you.
And then you would see it. Horns growing out of her skull while she's yelling in pain, eyes appearing in her back.
And you would be stunned by the horror of the situation : your cute wife is actually a half-monster !
But then you would think : "hasn't she always been like that? If she was a youkai, we would have murders around the village !" And you would follow her all night, staring as she's fighting against ferals youkai, blinking in disbelief as she's hiding most of the village when a giant youkai passes by, and finally, staring as she's running home to jump in her bed and pretend she just woke up.
You would never say anything to her, but you would always support her with your meager power, supporting her when the town leader says that a tired teacher is no good and that she should be replaced, silently supporting her when she's taken to task by feral youkai repeating her that she's a monster and that a monster cannot love a human, taking her place at the school when she's too tired to work, pretending she's just tired because you had sex all night and that it has nothing to do with full moon. She would love you and absolutely trust you, but until you are on your deathbed, she would never suspect that you know her secret.
Only then, she will realize all you did for her, and she will thank you from the bottom of her heart.
And you will say : "that's the husband's job, to support his wife."

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645017
Me heart.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644952
Tenshi would at first be a pest.
You were walking around, then you found some weird clothes, you grabbed it, and all of a sudden, a girl comes from the sky and says you're married. How annoying.
At the beginning, she would be annoying as hell. Constantly complaining about how shabby your house is, whining that there are no bathrooms, saying that her clothes will get dirty, and clearly expecting you to do all the job. And she would also make you sleep on the ground.
And then she would taste your cooking, and declare that it's bad and that you should feel bad for making her eat something that looks like it was chewed and spit with a toothless old fat. But you would notice that she ate several parts, and that would be your hint that, for a Celestial, she greatly enjoys Earthlings pleasures, so you would do your best to make good stuff, instead of just eating bland rice like you used to, and slowly, she would complain less and less, until she finally breaks and ask how you did that chocolate pie that tasted "even better than Heaven".
After that, she would take an interest in cooking, and would slowly improve as a wife. You would still be in charge of the laundry and the rest of the chores, but Tenshi would be taking care of the cooking.
Each morning and each evening, she would bring what she cooked, and stare at you silently until you compliment her, causing her to smile. She would finally invite you in your own bed, and she would confess how useless and out of place she feels in Heaven, how everything was just a game for her, at first. You would repeat "at first?" and she would hide her face under the blanket. You pull the blanket, and look at Tenshi's flustered face, until she says "I love you now. This is no longer a game".

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645055
She wouldn't work like Keine, she would constantly stay in the house, trying to improve her cooking, and occasionally try to take care of the chore, but failing ("back then in Heaven, I had servants to do that for me ! Why don't you have servants? What a useless peasant I married !")
Once in a while, Iku would pass by to ask how it's going on Tenshi's father's behalf, and Tenshi would quickly send her away before Iku can see you. She would answer "I understand, I'll leave you three alone", and gently float away, leaving you two confused.

Later that night, a horrified scream would come from Bhava-Agra as Papa Hinanai learns the news. The next day, you find a bunch of armed-to-the-teeth celestials on your doorstep, claiming they're here to "reclaim what has been stolen and soiled by the impure earthling". Tenshi would hear the ruckus as the celestials are ransacking the house, and there would be a battle of epic proportion between a lone, weak Tenshi, and a whole squad of celestials warriors.
Afterward, the defeated celestials would be begging for mercy while you're trying to hold Tenshi back, gently massaging her shoulders and repeating "think of the baby, honey" in her ear.
Later during the day, Iku passes by again, and you talk with her of how things are going from now on. She shrugs and say that it depends from Papa Hinanai, but that Tenshi won't lose her celestial status because of that. She would then ask what you're going to do, frown when you ask what she means, and then ask if you're okay with doing like a shit and breaking Tenshi's heart, because "that girl left all her friends behind to become a celestial", and that "she was never consulted on that matter and merely followed her parents like some kind of luggage". She would also explain that Tenshi wants to be a martyr and die for a honorable cause because she never felt accepted, wherever she went. Until she met you.
"Are you going to die and break that girl's heart forever?"

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645084
You would answer you never thought of that, causing Iku to scold you and ask you what you really want, and if you're happy being just a nanny to a mentally challenged girl. You would get pissed off, and tell her that Tenshi isn't a moron. Iku would answer that she never said Tenshi's a moron, only that she's extremely immature, and often ask like a kid throwing a tanthrum. You would remember her attitude at first, and how she protected you when the celestials assassins arrived, and you would answer that she grew out of it.
Iku would smile and leave, never coming back.

In the end, you cannot become a hermit, as each time you tried to take some time alone to train, Tenshi found you, wherever you were, and brought you home kicking and screaming while repeating that "a good husband doesn't abandon his cute, vulnerable wife". Any answers about how the "vulnerable wife" savagely beat up a bunch of celestials several months earlier would lead to you being beaten with a rock until you pass out, wake up with your head over Tenshi's lap, and then being beaten up because it's still an embarassing position.
Days would go by, with you doing most of the chores, and Tenshi doing what she prefers : cooking and eating, sometimes regretting the tastes of peaches, but then immediately yelling that she's not going back to Bhava Agra until her father apologized for trying to murder her husband.

And the two of you would live like that, Tenshi trying to be a housewife but failing at it, and you taking care of the chores and bringing money home.
Until the day the baby arrives. That day, another group of celestials would be at your door, but this time, to invite you to Bhava Agra, because a high-ranked celestial decided that "you must be a saint to take care of a good-for-nothing like that".
You ascend to Heaven, along with your wife, and become the founder of a hard-working family, becoming an example of what hard work can accomplish.
The End.

[Anonymous No.]

TL;DR : Tenshi would be a clumsy, slightly egotistical housewife, only doing what interests or benefits her. She would cook most of the time, go shopping, but would never bother with laundry or cleaning, except in the kitchen. She would also eat most of what she cooked.
Over time, her skill would improve, and your part would grow bigger as she learns that cooking is about cooking for other people, and she would end up loving you and protecting you.
That's how I see her.

[Anonymous No.]

Jesus Christ, that turned into a whole fucking writefaggotry. I hope I won't get banned for this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645130
Hopefully not, was a fun read

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644940
Do Reimu.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645157
seconding the yukmo

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645130
Holy fucking hell that was long. Me heart, but shorten it like Miko's, FeelAnon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645193
Sorry yeah. Got a lot of ideas, failed to make something short. Wanted to make a spanking joke with Iku suggesting another use for spatulas, decided not to.
I'll come back later, I need some sleep right now. Hopefully I'll be in the mood for write cute stuff when I'll wake up.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645017
Aww. I'd love to remind Keine of her humanity by loving her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644218
Best wife material: Iku, Youmu, Kasen, Kanako

But I have no time to back these outrageous claims up right now.

[Anonymous No.]

I want to fill Yukari's gaps with my love and sperm.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645017
It's not good to keep secrets like that.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

What about the bright, fun-loving, idol from the underground Yamame?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645432
I'm suprised it didn't have Kiene almost attack her husband due to surprise.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645437
Can't cook, can't clean, can't take care of the kids, but makes for a great semenslurper.

Better to marry someone else and keep spidey as a mistress.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644790
>Tl:tr information on Tojiko.

In all honesty the person is rather strong to keep everything locked up for 100 years when a Shinigami would come to take their life because a person with a normal mind taking emotional pain about their lover probably being happy with their former flame/ being the second to go to guy, day-in/day out, putting on a happy face everyday would have eventually caused the person to have a breakdown in front of everyone, and would cry until they couldn't cry anymore + become a sad sack of shit.

>>12645505
The person is on their deathbed looking at their wife in their original body for the last time before they go off to be judged, and probably reincarnated a new being with the slight chance to see their beloved again, but never to become as close as they were before ever again.

I highly doubt she would almost attack him at all instead of crying tears of despair.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645536
Sounds like you're an arachnophobe.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645551
Ugh, gross.

Please delete that image.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645549
No, I am talking the first time when he sees her.

Its one of those things where shes actively looking for Yokai but didn't see him.

Obviously she isn't going to try and murder her husband on his deathbed but a heat of the moment surprise "He somethings over there, must be a yokai" thing is more what I was thinking

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645437
A lively homelife. The start of each day your bed would be covered in daughters sprawled out resting next to you. Two steps out of bed and you'd already have two clinging to your legs, a couple hanging off your arms and one or two riding your shoulders.
Dragging yourself to the kitchen, you greet yamame, who is almost done with cooking breakfast.
Seems kind of nice. I always wanted a brood.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645575
Sounds very tiring, though.

"You never told me quintuplets were normal for tsuchigumo!" Whoops, ehe!

[Anonymous No.]

Shinki would be an excellent mother...

Right?

[Elegant Elliot Offen No.]

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644952
Shiki.
I guess she wouldn't be a good wife. She would look at you enjoying a good meal, or drinking some beer, and she would fear the day when she'll have to judge you and maybe send you, her husband, to hell. So she would try to convince you to change your ways, constantly nagging you, while claiming it's for your own good, but the truth is that she would be terrified of sending you to hell, because it would mean that, as a wife, as a woman, she is a failure.
So she would constantly berate you, and ou would do your best to make her happy, but that's not enough. That's never enough, and the two of you slowly grow distant, as, despite your goodwill, you're getting tired of being constantly lectured about everything. And it would continue like that, you two barely even seeing each other, until she discovers that, as the Judge of Death, she is forbidden to judge her relative and family, because of a possible conflict of interests, and that if a case appears, it's up to the local shinigami to decide where you're going. After that, she would relax a bit, and even encourage you to go out with your friend, as she knows that the more good relation you had, the shorter the travel will be.
As you'll inevitably die, she will make sure that your burial goes by the rule, giving you plenty of money to pay Komachi, and she'll keep an eye out for your reincarnation. She will find you, and raise you as her own kid, to pay her fictional debt toward you, as she consider herself to be a terrible wife.
I guess it would go like that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645549
>In all honesty the person is rather strong to keep everything locked up for 100 years when a Shinigami would come to take their life because a person with a normal mind taking emotional pain about their lover probably being happy with their former flame/ being the second to go to guy, day-in/day out, putting on a happy face everyday would have eventually caused the person to have a breakdown in front of everyone, and would cry until they couldn't cry anymore + become a sad sack of shit.
Not exactly sure what you mean (English isn't my native language), but becoming a hermit is already a feat, as Senkai's description states that most people trying fail. So a guy able to become a hermit is already something else, able to bite his lips when annoying, and able to pretend he's fine when he's already suicidal.
Plus, fighting the shinigami apparently requires you to be totally focused and perfectly trained, so if you're depressed or distracted, you might end up killed anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646186
Feelanon please my feels.

>>12646196
The main question here is would Tojiko even miss her deceased husband?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646424
>Feelanon please my feels.
...?
>The main question here is would Tojiko even miss her deceased husband?
She' a ghost. And given she willingly support Toyosatomimi during the spellcard battle, she accepted that fate. Unlike Futo, Seiga or Miko, however, she wasn't sleeping the whole time, she was still awake (until someone proves me wrong).
I highly doubt she would be that loyal to Shoutoku if she weren't totally devoted to him. Maybe she's disappointed with his current form, maybe not.
For for that writefaggotry, I assumed she was, because if she was satisfied with his current Miko form, she wouldn't have married Anon.
Spouses were supportive and loyal back in the days (mostly), but I doubt that marrying an emperor also includes becoming an undead abomination to guard his tomb.
That's what consellors and bodyguards do, not wives.

I don't know if I'm clear here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646493
By deceased husband I'm referring to Ano.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646424
>The main question here is would Tojiko even miss her deceased husband?

Why would she?
The last obstacle for her to ride Miko's magical futa cock all day every day without having to hide it, is finally gone.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646548
Wasn't Tojiko married to Shoutoku?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646586
Referring to her new husband who died by shinigami, Anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646556
Anon really wasn't an obstacle if she was doing it in secret, plus she met him, converted him, and married him so she must haven't gave two shits about Mikos, Futo everyday.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646641
Ha.
Well, that's up to you to decide.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646556
I don't think she regrets Miko that much, otherwise she wouldn't have married Anon. Maybe she was just nostalgic. Like a guy trying Deus Ex Human Revolution but missing the original Deus Ex.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646782
Makes sense.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646782
So the real problem is Anon, and his self worth issue to Tojiko?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646849
More like Anon couldn't top Miko, whether in bed or not (since Miko can listen to desires, she knows exactly what everyone want, and thus would immediately know if Tojiko wants the dick or wants to go out), and has his self-esteem slowly crumbling, not noticing that despite still loving Miko, she still trust him enough to be totally and absolutely frank with him.
Except that he interpretated that as being friendzoned. With benefits.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646878
Damn that's sad. Anon should just be himself, or if desperate find a way to surpass Miko.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646886
Nothing keeps you from rewriting my short fiction and give it a better end.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646906
Anon ditched Tojiko and went out with the superior ghost-tailed girl, Mima, instead.
They got married, Mima retired from Touhous, and they lived happily ever after.

They also had 12 kids

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646951
But then it's sad for Tojiko who finds herself alone.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646965
Well screw her
She can go back and hop onto Miko's member just like the rest of the Taoists except Seiga

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646975
You seem upset about Tojiko.

Shall I continue?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646988
Not him but sure.

I enjoy reading

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646988
Tojiko would make a good wife so continue. Also do the rest

[Anonymous No.]

>>12644952
Momiji. Lovely, dutiful Momiji.
At first, she would hate you. Well, consider things from her point of view : forced into a marriage with a human who is inferior to her in every possible way. The only thing keeping her from beheading you would be the fact that she's been ordered to live with you. So she would just clench her teeth and hope you die quickly so that she can be free again.
At first, she would never ask anything from you, and would ask like a roommate, doing her part of the chores, answering in a monotonous tone each time you talk to her, and silently looking down on you each time you suggest doing something together, before shaking her head and pretending she's on guard duty. Should you try to make a move on her, she would swing her sword around, most likely hurting you in the processn before apologizing for the sudden training. She would warn you to be careful, as she never trained with a wooden sword, and may accidentally kill you if you get too close to her while she's "training".
Time will pass, and you still will be unable to break through Momiji's shell, until one of her friend suggests getting interested in her hobbies. Under that friend's guidance, you're then going to learn Japanese chess ("shoji" or "shogi", I dunno) while your wife is away, until you're finally good enough.
One day, you're going to walk to the youkai mountain, praying you don't meet any feral youkai, and you'll find your wife playing chess with the friend that taught you. Momiji isn't even going to look at you as you take your friend's place as her opponent. You will probably lose.

Later that day, after dinner, Momiji is going to pick up a chess set, and put it on the table, saying only one word.
"Revenge?"

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647081
Post the chocolate story.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647090
?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647081
I think you forgot what it was about.
It's about how the touhou would act as wives, not about how you get loved.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647081
>Later that day, after dinner, Momiji is going to pick up a chess set, and put it on the table, saying only one word.
>"Revenge?"

...is...is that good?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647099
Momizi Pop by Scorn.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647106
Sorry, I thought it was obvious.
It means she finally talks to you. A step forward.

>>12647104
Sorry again.
Well, at first, extremely distant. Won't make food or do anything except for herself. Her room will be constantly perfectly cleaned, her clothes perfectly arranged, but she won't aknowledge your existence.
Once you broke her shell, she's going to be a lot more lovable, and will take care of most of the chores. Most. Not all of them.
And being a tengu raised in a military and strict society, god helps you if you forget to do your part of the chores. She won't be the kind of woman greeting home if you're drunk, or if you're too late. If you want to have a drink with your friends, better warn her first, or she's going to be constantly staring at you and scold you once you're home.
But if you manage not to be a dead weight, she'll be a nice wife.

>>12647114
If you know it, you can read it yourself. I'm not going to copypaste some fag's story.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647129
It must be tough being new.
>>/jp/thread/S739396

[Anonymous No.]

>>12646988
Nah, I just prefer Mima

You may proceed

[Anonymous No.]

>>12645749
Yes
Mother of all in Makai, including Alice
Good, bountiful Mom

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647145
If you don't like the thread, you can go away instead of begging for the same old shit ad infinitum.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647176
A 2hu will never let you impregnate her with that attitude!

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647145
If all you want is an old story, why do I even bother writing?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647180
Your first mistake was writing for an audience.
Your second mistake was being a bad writer.
Your third mistake is confusing age with quality.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647183
>Your second mistake was being a bad writer.
Okay.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647180
>>12647186
Don't listen to them. I enjoyed your short waffle.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647191
I don't care. Let the cutefags have their stories. I don't write retarded "xDDD cute" stories, I write my stories based on canon interpretation of characters.
Respecting canon is apparently 2hard4secondaries, so let them hijack this thread and post their retarded crap. I don't care anymore. Plus I have other stuff to do.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647197
good riddance faggot

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647145
Man, old /jp/ was so good.

[Anonymous No.]

Do Ayaya!

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647229
http://www.touhou-project.com/th/res/34480.html

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647229
>thp
>good
There's a reason they all got banned from /jp/.

[Anonymous No.]

We need more 2hu wives, and mothers.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647325
We need the writefag to come back and the thpfags to go away.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647325
ZUN himself said the girls would get too old to play danmaku anymore. If everyone settled down, he'd have to make Hokuhou with an all male viking cast that shoots axes and bomb by tripping on mushrooms.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647343
The writefag is pretty decent, and actually a little bit believable v and I like that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647346
Your kidding right? That faggot is so shitty we dont want him, either here or anywhere else. He go away, good riddance I say.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647374
One Anon who's butt hurt, or doesn't like what someone else like some how speaks for everyone. You really need to leave the thread, or just filter it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647435
Go away newfag. We don't like you here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647451
>We
Kek

[Anonymous No.]

Patchouli would make a good wife because she would use you for new experiments. Some sexual, some not. Majority not.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647622
Being a test subject isn't a good thing. Testers get paid well for a reason

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647681
Your getting paid in love, and hopefully always getting one step closer to your wife's pant every night,

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647792
That won't help you if she replaced your penis by a bunch of tentacles. Not to mention you're always going to let the toilets messy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647797
>Your penis is now tentacles.
You're acting like that's a bad thing later that night.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647812
I'm going to walk away slowly and come back once the writefag decides to restart writing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647296
Yeah, because everyone was trying to be them. CYOAs are good, but /jp/ being nothing but them isn't.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647822
How gay can you be?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647828
>CYOAs are good
>implying self-insert stories are good
bitch please

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647905
Please do not abuse the quote functions.

[Anonymous No.]

Writer at needs to hurry up.

[Anonymous No.]

Shinki.
Perfect housewife, but shy.
Would try to replace herself with a clone created on the spot that wouldn't be shy to make you happy.
Also Yumeko would hate your guts and try to stab you if you say anything bad to Shinki.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12648088
Good thing Shinki there to keep from doing that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12647905
These are not synonyms.

>>12648088
I loved this visual until I realized it wasn't Eiki.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12648109
>These are not synonyms.
THIS IS WHAT THPFAGS ACTUALLY BELIEVE

[Anonymous No.]

>>12648109
Yeah, I'm sure that fanfiction where the protagonist can fight and defeat Shou while sleeping with Yukari and Yuuka at the same time isn't a total Gary-Tsu self-insert.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12648207
Ugh. Which one was that?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12648212
The one where the MC is more or less Yukari's bitch and is sent around Gensokyo as a gigolo.
And don't get me started on the Wade story where the main character manages to have Yukari fall in love with him and fuck his own cat while defeating the moonbitches.
And there's also that other story where a guy arrives in Gensokyo, tell Yuuka to fuck off, and she immediately falls in love with him because nobody talked to her like that.

High quality fanfics, indeed. Not self-insert at all.

[None !u.ddykRmDU No.]

>>12648215
>moonbitches
The correct term is "moonhoneys".

[Anonymous No.]

>>12648215
No names? Bah.
Yeah, there's some bad ones.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12648215
God those sound awful. Write fag needs to return to this thread though.

[None !u.ddykRmDU No.]

>>12648225
The first one doesn't ring any bell.
I remember the one with the moonhoney, it was fun to read. The name is Archetype of Self. It was acclaimed despite being really about a gary-tsu. The writefag even recognized it.
The last is An Average Joe or something like that. It was dropped quickly because it was really shit. It was embarrassing to even read it.

>>12648232
That's a cutie.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12648236
>Archetype of Self
>An Average Joe
Ggrkrrggrgrkk.

And yes, embarrassed Yorihime is good.

[None !u.ddykRmDU No.]

>>12648245
Archetype of Self got a remake. Archetype of Self v2 or something.
I quickly read it before being banned from the website, it was basically a video game in a CYOA format, with Wade rebuilding his Gensokyo self with fragments and gaining new powers each time.
Good idea, but I don't understand why a random faggot would have powers in Gensokyo. If I remember right, it wasn't even explained in the original story, it just happened because FYTW.

[Anonymous No.]

Thread is saged.
I don't even know if I want a new one or not.
Or perhaps we can rename the next thread "how to court the touhou" or something.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12648109
>Wakin up in a gangbangin' forest, though, biatch? When you're suttin' like ninety-nine cement shizzle you didn't chill like a pimp there, biatch? Totally weird. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dope thang you've gots a system.
>QUALITY STORY

[Anonymous No.]

>>12648298
How to court 2hu's/Mother & Wife would be fine. But I would wait until this one dies.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12648327
/jp/ isn't fast enough that we need to do another thread immediately.

That being said, I like these pantyhose, but I regret the ridiculous hat. She would be a lot more sexier if her hair was visible.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12648327
Aaaah, feminine Eiki, so beautiful~

>>12648329
How dare you insult the Yama hat!

[Anonymous No.]

>>12648329
Time anon, time is needed. I just want the write fag back because I liked his descriptions of the 2hu's as wives.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12648207
>that fanfiction where the protagonist can fight and defeat Shou while sleeping with Yukari and Yuuka at the same time

I'd like to read this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12649462
Go look for it. Still waiting for next wife entry on this thread.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12649478
Already done : >>12646186

[Anonymous No.]

>>12649478
Although a bit clumsy at being a wife, Kyouko would try to perform the duty the best she can. Her cooking wouldn't be that great, but at least her cleaning skills would be top notch from all that experience at the temple. However, having to clean both the temple and her home would understandably cause her to quickly grow sick of it, so it'd be best if you helped her out often. Kyouko would enjoy physical intimacy and would love to be pampered or cuddled when she comes home from working at the temple and learning difficult new Buddhist sutras. She would be a bit insensitive, however, so don't expect her to notice if you're slightly down or stressed and need to be cheered up. Though even if she doesn't notice, her energetic smile, cheerful laugh, and talkative nature might be all you need to feel better. If it isn't and she notices how you're feeling, she'd clumsily try her best to cheer you up, acting cutely silly in the process. She'd be a bit quick to anger, but even quicker to forgive. Any thoughtful gift or favor you do for her would be greatly appreciated, even small ones. In bed, she'd be shy and depend on you to take the lead, at least initially, and would loved to be hugged during the act. One fun activity you can enjoy is making her bashfully repeat the erotic words you whisper in her ear. As a mother, she'd need your help, else the child will grow to be irresponsible and rebellious.

Also, I hope you don't mind punk rock, because she loves to sing it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12649583
8.3/10

Can we get some moonies next?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12649583
>says he's going away
>finally come back
don't you have any shame, faggot? we told you to leave, why don't you do as you promised instead of forcing your shit on us

[Anonymous No.]

>>12649642
>We
>Us
Meaning only you. Plus the guy admits English isn't his first language. And why haven't you filtered this thread, or him period if you don't like him or her.

Your sad Anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12649644
>>12649603
>>12649583
samefag
stop complimenting yourself your really pathetic

[Anonymous No.]

>>12649648
>Stop complimenting yourself.
How dumb are you exactly?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12649653
not as dumb as you
because your a moron doesnt mean everyone is as stupid as you, faggot

[Anonymous No.]

>>12649648
But you've been samefagging as le oldfag consensus for days now.

Too meta.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12649583
I want to make it absolutely clear that this wasn't written by me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12649658
>"n-n-n-no u"
pathetic

[Anonymous No.]

Next wife?

[Anonymous No.]

>>12650200
I don't do Daiyousei.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12650277
That's Remilia. Besides it doesn't matter who's the next wife is.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12650296
Remilia has already been done.

>>12644631
>Remilia... She would try to be constantly, extremely dignified. Until you two are alone. Once that's the case, she drops the act, and wants you to spoil her, laying on the bed with her head over your knees, opening her mouth while you're peeling tangerines or breaking chocolate into small part to feed her. And then someone knocks at the door and Remilia teleports from the bed to the middle of the room, doing her best to be charismatic as fuck.
Remilia has already been done.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12650320
I was pointing out to Anon that wasn't Daiyousei, and I was stating it doesn't matter who the next wife description is so long as we get an update.

[Anonymous No.]

>>12650320
Disgusting. That's how some okuufag wants her to act, not how she would really act.