/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Sussman No.]

Hello /jp/,

I'm a bit sick of how lately all we get are generals and wanted to share this with you to bring a small temporary change to the board.

It's the story of a frustrated /prog/rider who dearly loved his Youmu and was forced out of curiosity and social pressure to find a real-life partner, only to realize his previous loner life was all he needed. Worry not, it's actual prose and not walls of "greentext" as some crossposters call it.

http://bbs.progrider.org/lounge/read/1429497540/
If you don't want to read the whole thread but only the relevant posts, try this:
http://bbs.progrider.org/lounge/read/1429497540/1,7,8,16,18,24,40,44,47,54,59,84,86,116,118,153,161,162,164,165,185,186,198,199,217,253,290,296,339,355,414,418,457,462,479

Yes, it's an Internet story and some suspect it might be fake but I enjoyed reading it and hope you do as well.

Have a nice day and take it easy.

[Anonymous No.]

I don't know if that link is safe. sorry.

[Sussman No.]

>>14065776
In case you're talking about the long link with the numbers, it's the way the board selectively shows some posts. It would be nice if 4chan also had that feature but the long post numbers would make an ugly link,

Do you trust archive.is? Here's a copy of that thread. Disable Javascript or something if you're still worried about it.
https://archive.is/hw3YZ

[Anonymous No.]

>>14065808
I don't know man. You /prog/ guys are pretty scary.
I don't want you infecting my computer with some expert BBCode virus.

[Anonymous No.]

I can't believe I read all this shit, it's just a story about a rude autist being a jerk to everyone.

I want my time back, OP.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067235
>rude autist being a jerk to everyone.
/jp/ incarnated

[Anonymous No.]

On a related note, what's with the overlap between the /jp/ and /prog/ userbases? I just checked their /lounge/ board and they've got a 300 reply thread about Rozen Maiden and another one about Kanna Hashimoto's pussy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14065728
I don't come to 4chan to read non-greentext.
>>14067249
hey fuck you

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067359
neo-/jp/

[Anonymous No.]

This board would be complete shit without generals, so it's for the best.

[Anonymous No.]

Did you come here just to post your blog story? Fuck you, dude, did you think mentioning /prog/ would somehow save your credibility? I bet you don't even own a car, much less a cdr.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067316
Otaku and NEETs like computers and programming.

[Sussman No.]

>>14067396
I'm not the author. I've never had a girlfriend and I don't even know how to drive, but I like Touhou and Lisp.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067431
ｋｉｍｏｉ　ｗｗｗｗ

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067359
Greentext version for the lazy fucks and because the story is shit :

>be an autist who speak to a 5'10 tall Youmu in his head
>want to find a real girl out of curiosity
>go to an anime con and meet a 6/10 Hatate cosplayer
>hang out with her and cosplay sex ensues
>not as good as sex with youmu in my dreams
>eventually get bored and want to spend more time alone on my computer
>Hatate gets mad and go drinking with her friends outside
>break up soon after
>call Hatate's friend to play video games with
>she makes fun of my hentai picture of Miku on my screen
>show her my whole collection of Hatate's hentai
>she's confused
>start banging her for a while until she goes to see her sick dad
>fuck random girls and prostitutes meanwhile
>buy an onahole, it feels better than a real vagina
>Hatate's friend comes back and we start having sex again, but my onaho is still better than her
>realize human interactions are boring and the sex is not worth it
>regret my experiences with real girls because it ruined 2D for me
>think of vagina smell when I see a nude picture of a 2hu
>can't fap to pictures of Hatate because it reminds me of the 3D one
>can't have wet dreams with 2hues anymore
>I've got Youmu, I don't want anyone else

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067561
Truly the Densha Otoko of our times.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067561
This story is fucking shit, jesus christ

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067561
>>regret my experiences with real girls because it ruined 2D for me

Holy fuck, that's terrible.
Thank you, I'll read the real story,

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067561
Come on, don't skip the part where he has a dream about a fucking magic cereal factory in Gensokyo.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067561
Do I look like an /a/ro or a /v/ermin to you, retard? Who the hell do you think you're quoting? Epic Hata-tan maymay, by the way. Truly epic.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067837
Calm down, autist. Did you forget to take your pills or something?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067854
Since when is it acceptable to be nice to crossboarders on /jp/?

[Anonymous No.]

Report all /r9k/ tier thread

[Anonymous No.]

"hey guys, i'm one of you too"
"now listen to my sex story"

[Anonymous No.]

Someone already made a smmary in the same thread, copypaste incoming

* Nigger loves the Touhous
* Friend of nigger, girlfriend of friend and nigger have lunch together
* Girlfiend acts retarded
* Nigger gets mad because he doesn't understand why relationships exist

* Nigger decides he wants to get a gf to see what it's like

* Nigger goes to weeaboo con
* Nigger meets weeaboo Touhou cosplaying girl and car autist girl
* Nigger is friends with cosplaying girl and car autist girl

* Nigger gets close to cosplaying girl
* Nigger gets even closer to cosplaying girl
* Nigger dumps cosplaying girl

* Nigger hangs out with car autist
* Car autist is dumped by boyfriend
* Nigger gets closer to car autist
* Car autist goes back to her home for a while

* Nigger buys onahole
* Nigger thinks his onahole is better than any real girl

* Nigger goes to Linux users meetup
* Nigger meets girl who's also into the Rubik's cube, though she is much more serious about it than Nigger
* Nigger feels annoyed by Cube girl's burning passion for cubes
* Nigger rejects Cube girl (Does he? That's what I understood)

Probably the most amusing part of the story:
* Nigger is forced to hit da clubz with his friends he met at the Linux meetup
* Nigger doesn't have fun at da club
* Slut hits on Nigger
* Nigger avoids Slut but she is persistent
* Nigger is kike'd and ends up in a love hotel with Slut without knowing it
* Nigger is ``raped'' by Slut

* Nigger attends programmer meetup
* Nigger meets rich programmer girl with a game programming studio
* Programmer shows interest in Nigger's skills and hires him as a freelance sysadmin (I think)
* Programmer turns out to be alcoholic
* Programmer gets drunk and makes out with him, presumably because she's fucked in the head
* Youmu saves the day and stops Nigger from going any further
* Programmer doesn't seem to remember anything
* Nigger doesn't work for Programmer anymore

* Nigger hires 3 hookers
The end

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067874
Three or four years ago, when the average /jp/ user starts to surpass most crossboarders in stupidity.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm working on a theory wherein you can identify where someone lies on the spectrum of autism by determining what videogame character they're most drawn to. My resources are limited as I have neither the funds nor credentials to conduct an actual academic study, but even my amateurish work has yielded some promising results.

Youmu is of course on this scale, registering somewhere ahead of Sonic the Hedgehog but somewhere below Megaman. I hope one day that my work can lead to earlier and more accurate diagnosis methods.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067804
instant 5/10 from a 0 tbh

[Anonymous No.]

Don't get why you fugging nerds are making such a big fuss

I haven't even finished reading this and it's very clear he's the embodiment of a stereotypical /jp/sie, including his raging autism for Youmu

Maybe you're angry because someone else proved even if you go outside you'll still come back to /jp/ and do /jp/ things, crushing your false hopes of ever getting a real girlfriend like the cool kids at /b/

[Anonymous No.]

>>14068017
Alice is the most autistic Touhou!

[Anonymous No.]

>>14068017
I wonder what said characters would think if they were real.
I mean, think about it, some faggot comes around and decides to use you in his scale for measuring retards. How many of them would be uncomfortable with this?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14068960
Neither Alice nor Youmu would give a shit.

[Anonymous No.]

This story is so shit my daily stories of public masturbation would be an improvement.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14069817
Post em.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14069817
I'd like to read this.

[Anonymous No.]

Why would I read a blog about sexhavers? You fucking scum