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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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5872286 No.5872286 [Reply] [Original]

>let friend use computer
>he's on the guest account
>have to piss
>go to bathroom and come back
>he asks why the starcraft folder is over 50gb
>OH SHIT
>he opens it and sees my touhou music

Well, that was awkward.

>> No.5872289

shitposter get out im piss

>> No.5872290

The fuck is embarrassing about that?

>> No.5872292

Could have been worse. He could have found your loli.

>> No.5872299

Reported.

>> No.5872302

It's only embarrassing if you want it to be. Take it easy. Oh wait, I'm in /jp/

>> No.5872304

>Have 4 friends over for drinks
>They go behind your computer and start clicking random shit
>They find my 4chan folder
>They find hundreds of pictures of girls of questionable age
>Try explaining to them that I'm not perverted for the rest of the night

Feels good man

>> No.5872315

that's it?
damn you are a pussy

>> No.5872316
File: 12 KB, 251x251, get out of jp.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872316

No such thing could ever happen to me because I have no friend.

>> No.5872321

>>5872304
>have...friends
you have my condolences

>> No.5872323

Why would it be awkward? Most touhou music could be called orchestral.

>> No.5872325

>I'm helping Grandma carry her groceries up to her apartment.
>She tells me that I stink
>I trip her, she falls down 10 flights of stairs and breaks her neck
>I visit her at the hospital
>She gives me the stinky eye
>I unplug her life support
>She groans
>She wants to fuck.

>> No.5872336

>>5872321
Well that was almost 2 years ago. You'll be happy to know that I alienated them almost completely because my chronic depression has taken a turn for the worse. Don't worry I fit in perfectly here.

>> No.5872338

>>5872304
Ever heard of a password?

>> No.5872343

I once let my nerd friend use my computer to do homework and went to sleep.

When I woke up I snuck up behind him and saw him going through random directories and my cookies. He finally gave up after finding nothing (because I haven't looked at porn in years) and he literally fell out of the chair in shock when he turned around and saw me standing behind him, watching.

Felt smug, man.

>> No.5872355
File: 66 KB, 353x500, 1280892804002.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872355

>Family member ask to use my computer
>No

>> No.5872380

>alpha as fuck

>> No.5872383
File: 7 KB, 201x251, Bono.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872383

>>5872355
>Family members don't even ask
>Can't drive them off because I live in their house

>> No.5872393

>roommate is sleeping
>listening to touhou music while watching a documentary in which a pornstar is being interviewed
>shift in my bed, pulling out my headphones
>laptop speakers go blaring "YEA YOU LIKE IT IN THE ASS DON'T YOU" with cheesy music playing
>quickly mute laptop for damage control
>we never mention it again.

>> No.5872388

>run out of food, have been starving and eating nothing for 3 days
>mom is on a business trip overseas, no way of getting food without going outside
>spend several hours of self-suggestion to muster up enough courage
>step outside my house, first in seven months
>try to casually walk to the closest supermarket, blend into the crowd as much as possible
>everyone is looking at me
>quickly grab the first few edible things, go to pay
>only one line open, cashier is a cute ~18 years old girl
>cannot look into her eyes, act in an extremely creepy manner. cannot talk properly. she finally rings me up
>give cash. my hand accidentally touches hers. her skin is soft. I'm way over my limit.
>run out of shop, don't stop anywhere, run into house
>I forgot my food, my money, my purse, ID and all my stuff at the supermarket
>an hour later someone rings on the door. I take a look at the intercom's camera. it's the cashier girl with my food and money.
>too scared to open door. she keeps ringing for 10 minutes and leaves
>i'm still hungry, but i feel roughly 10 times as pathetic as two hours ago

>> No.5872387

>A family friend asks me to fix his computer.
>He deleted his browser history, cache, etc.
>Check his saved flash site settings.
>Blatant porn sites everywhere.
>Nice try.

>> No.5872409

>>5872388
This sounds like a 2ch pasta

>> No.5872412
File: 355 KB, 800x1210, 1280928556001.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872412

>>5872383

Use Truecrypt on the entire disc and set it to show no text on the pre-boot screen. All they will see is a blank screen with a small flashing underscore symbol.

>> No.5872426
File: 124 KB, 1280x720, [Nutbladder]_Arakawa_Under_the_Bridge_11_[35270775].mkv_snapshot_10.55_[2010.06.16_19.31.49].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872426

>see greentext thread
>report it

>> No.5872441

>>5872388
>I forgot my food, my money, my purse, ID and all my stuff at the supermarket
>my purse
Are you a lesbian?

>> No.5872442
File: 110 KB, 913x810, 1279143350755.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872442

>>5872426
Hey you, nigger.
Nino is mine.

>> No.5872446
File: 63 KB, 251x221, 1274645734263.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872446

>>5872388
>only one line open, cashier is a cute ~18 years old girl
>I forgot my food, my money, my purse, ID and all my stuff at the supermarket
>I forgot my food, my money, my purse
>my purse
>purse

>> No.5872457
File: 579 KB, 1262x2753, 1275603273318.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872457

>>5872442

>> No.5872459

>Father wants to use computer while he's visting my house
>Sees my touhou background and porn links on my toolbar
>He tries to make fun of me over the porn and my "girly cartoon" background
>I tell him I can show him how to view porn sites without my mother finding out and that those girly cartoons are sexier than most real life whores
>He goes out and buys me some Jack Daniels and we watch a few episodes of The Unit that night

>> No.5872463

>>5872393
Fucking headphones

>Late at night
>Watching hentai outside parents room
>Screen is in a position no one can see if they did walk out
>Generic UNF UNF UNF sounds playing but they sound amazingly good
>Its like theyre really fucking in front of me!
>Move a little and realize headphone cord feels extremely loose
>Look down and its not plugged in at all and never was
>Close the video
>Shut down computer
>Go to bed
>Try to convince myself this never happened
>Its not mentioned the next day hopefully the door really did block the sound

>> No.5872475

>>5872393

Ok, that made me laugh.

>> No.5872479
File: 784 KB, 1200x850, 0a1fd3460d3bd8926b03bb0860b64959.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872479

>Was in class.
>Everyone is quiet in the exam
>Some Fucker calls me.
>Embarrassing ring tone
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4xSmJ2e8CI
>HA HA I WAS SMART, I PUT THAT SHIT ON VIBRATE.
>Fucker leaves a message.
>forgot to turn off the "message sound alert"
>This plays: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuiJmEwAaRY
> YOU WIN THIS ROUND ANONYMOUS CALLER, YOU WIN THIS ROUND

>> No.5872482

>>5872463
This is why hentai manga is superior.

>> No.5872485

>browse /jp/, danbooru, etc. like always
>about 30 tabs open of which 20 are loli.
>someone's knocking at the door.
>lock PC, open door.
>it's my niece who came over to talk with my mom
>she asks if she can use my computer for a moment to look something up.
>walks past me, waiting in front computer
>"huh? why's it locked? Well, I just need it for a second."
>stand there, have literally no fucking clue what to say. What a dumb bitch! It's obvious that I was looking at porn. Why the hell did you ask?
>I tell her I forgot the password
>she gives me a really weird look

>> No.5872486

Go back to /v/.

>> No.5872498

>>5872457

Post your slut with twintails.
Don't touch my precious autistic waifu.

>> No.5872496

everyone in this thread should be banned.

>> No.5872497

>Why are you all typing your stories like this?
>Am I missing the joke?

>> No.5872502

OP, stop making new greentext threads every other hour in an attempt to bring your shitposting meme over here.

>> No.5872506

Who are you quoting?

>> No.5872511

>>5872497
>You know that implying thing that was all the rage a few months back?
>/v/ took it and added "My face when....(insert shit happens.)
>You're supposed to tell a shocking story with a wtf ending in green text
>Post reaction face for extra bonus points.
>Hence the go back to /v/ statement.

>> No.5872515

>I get money
>I get a Oppai mouspad
>My older sister suddenly at home
>She ask Wtf is that pad
>She says that would like to have boobs like pad's one and touch hers.

And no she's not cute

>> No.5872518

Take you shitty method of posting back to /v/

>> No.5872520

>>5872485
I lol'd hard.

>> No.5872522

>>5872515
And then you felt hers right?

>> No.5872523
File: 5 KB, 200x150, Zun.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872523

>>5872511
mfw there are still people who type out "my face when"

>> No.5872525

Reported for green text

>> No.5872530

>>5872485
Get a guest account. Next time you lock computer and she barges in, say that you're talking to your girlfriend and it's very private. Say she has to use the guest account.

>> No.5872529

>>5872515
>She says that would like to have boobs like pad's one and touch hers.

But has she ever really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

>> No.5872528

>Report this fucking thread
>Hide it
>Go back to reading SubaHibi
>Bump into another sentence I don't quite understand
>Come back into this thread with a proxy to report again out of frustration
>She wants to fuck

>> No.5872527
File: 32 KB, 225x350, 85495.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872527

>>5872498

>> No.5872533
File: 11 KB, 200x300, [small][AnimePaper]scans_Fate-Stay-Night_Saber515(0.67)__THISRES__128466.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872533

>>5872530
>girlfriend

>> No.5872538

>>5872393
Was it Sanae's theme?

>> No.5872542

>>5872528
calm down son

>> No.5872552

>>5872485
Never been on a situation like that, but i would love to say them something like "If you don't care to watch my loli porn so go ahead" with an emotionless face. At the end it's like they do that to make you say "I'm watching porn". Who the hell would need a computer so suddenly?!

>> No.5872554
File: 45 KB, 244x273, 1278475725220.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872554

>>5872530
>girlfriend

>> No.5872564

>report this thread
>report it again to be sure
>bitch about it
>sage
>white ren as fuck

>> No.5872567
File: 2 KB, 300x57, not_rock.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872567

>>5872530
in during 200+ hilarious greentext replies because you said the G word

>> No.5872568

>>5872552
...yeah, because it takes weeks of planning to decide you want to check the weather or an address.

>> No.5872578
File: 44 KB, 292x422, doubles_girl18.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872578

>>/v/ and /a/ nerds come into /jp/
>>they post green text implying story
>>join /jp/ in mocking them and reporting them
>>alpha nerd as fkuc

>> No.5872580
File: 33 KB, 400x415, 12810595575921.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872580

>let friend use computer
>he's on the guest account
>have to piss
>go to bathroom and come back
>he asks why the starcraft folder is over 50gb
>OH SHIT
>he opens it and sees my touhou music

>> No.5872582

>>5872542
No. I won't calm down.
My Japanese is only good enough to read something at Yotsubato level, and it's been at this level for almost 2 years; despite the fact that I practice every day, or at least 5 times a week if I skip some days.

I mad.

>> No.5872611

>>5872580
Well, that was awkward.

>> No.5872620
File: 52 KB, 281x283, 1280841552727.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872620

>>5872580
>/a/
>touhou music

>> No.5872618
File: 33 KB, 400x415, 1281063043980.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872618

>let friend use computer
>he's on the guest account
>have to piss
>go to bathroom and come back
>he asks why the starcraft folder is over 50gb
>OH SHIT
>he opens it and sees my Halo music

Well, that was awkward.

>> No.5872629
File: 30 KB, 281x283, 1280841552727.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872629

>>5872618
>Halo music
>awkward

>> No.5872649
File: 7 KB, 400x415, 1281063043980.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872649

>let friend use computer
>he's on the guest account
>have to piss
>go to bathroom and come back
>he asks why the starcraft folder is over 50gb
>OH SHIT
>he opens it and sees my she wants to fuck

Well, that was awkward.

>> No.5872668

>let friend use computer
>he's on the guest account
>have to piss
>go to bathroom and come back
>he asks why the starcraft folder is over 50gb
>OH SHIT
>he opens it and sees my ronrey images

Well, that was awkward.

>> No.5872675
File: 7 KB, 400x415, 1281063043980.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872675

>let friend use computer
>he's on the guest account
>have to piss
>go to bathroom and come back
>he asks why the starcraft folder is over 50gb
>OH SHIT
>he opens it and sees my epic win

Well, that was awkward.

>> No.5872686

>let friend use computer
>he's on the guest account
>have to piss
>go to bathroom and come back
>he asks why the starcraft folder is over 50gb
>OH SHIT
>he opens it and sees my Hardcore 2D loli porn. He then begins to leave. He opens the door, gets on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

Well, that was awkward.

>> No.5872693
File: 7 KB, 400x415, jpg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5872693

>let friend use computer
>he's on the guest account
>have to piss
>go to bathroom and come back
>he asks why the starcraft folder is over 50gb
>OH SHIT
>he opens it and sees my reported

Well, that was awkward.

>> No.5872709

>let friend use computer
>he's on the guest account
>have to piss
>go to bathroom and come back
>he asks why the starcraft folder is over 50gb
>OH SHIT
>he opens it and sees mymassive collection of Starcraft maps

>> No.5873086

>>5872538
No it wasn't but you helped me find a video i've been looking for for FUCKING MONTHS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weLNCHdeuOA&feature=related
Thanks for the inspiration anon

>>
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