/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Learn Japanese much sooner.

[Anonymous No.]

Start hormone treatments so I can become a little girl as soon as possible

[Anonymous No.]

I just want to go back to high school, I can fix it all there.

[Anonymous No.]

Drink antifreeze.

[Anonymous No.]

Jump off a building. My life was boring and I don't want to go through it again.

[Anonymous No.]

>Tommorow
Anyway, this >>6837431

[Anonymous No.]

kill myself

[Stupei, Ace Defective !1HOs/D5o7M No.]

Grow out my hair and not eat shit so I don't end up looking like a fat butch lesbian and subsequently picked on all through middle school and becoming socially stunted

[Anonymous No.]

Suicide disguised as an accident.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837431
This

[Anonymous No.]

Do I posses all the knowledge I currently have? If yes, then I am winner in life and quickly make a fortune in gambling. If no, well, nothing changes because nothing has a reason to.

[Anonymous No.]

Try to warn the authorities about impending disasters; realize I'm disappointingly ill-informed about happenings in the last twenty years and can only recall a few of the most major ones; feel tortured by guilt every time I see a tragic story on the news, knowing I could potentially have prevented it.

Bad days, man.

[Anonymous No.]

BUT THE FUTURE REFUSED TO CHANGE.

[Anonymous No.]

>>>/soc/
>>>/b/

this board is for touhou only

[Anonymous No.]

Stop going to church.
When I get bullied in primary school, beat heads in with steel chairs instead of staying a repressed idealist.

[Anonymous No.]

Play a game of pretend with some the neighbor boys,play doctor with the girls and dry hump because I'm 5yrs old and can get away with it.

[Anonymous No.]

OP is from /r9k/. Reported.

>>>/r9k/

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837464
>Tomorrow morning you return to being 5 years old
OP said nothing about going back in time.

[Anonymous No.]

Tone by ads for a year, Then fuck every girl in each of my classes from kindergarten to 6th grade. Then kill my self.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837481
>>>/soc/

[Anonymous No.]

Live my life as I always have because I'm five years old and dumb as shit.

[Anonymous No.]

Eat more so I end up taller and healthier, exercise as soon as my body can take it.
Use my shota status when a little older to fuck hot milfs. Fuck some lolis too while I'm still young.
Get a job when I'm in my teens, and save up the money so I can go into NEET status after highschool.
I'd make sure to make tons of friends I could parasite off of or get into jobs I don't deserve when I needed money.

[Anonymous No.]

[x] Start the childhood friend route.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837429
save childhood money, bet spectacularly on sports outcomes I already know, become massively wealthy and buy the worlds largest figure collection.

Also invest in gene therapy and cloning until the perfect loli is created

[Anonymous No.]

start dating IMMEDIATELY.

[Anonymous No.]

Dress in girl clothes and seduce pedophiles into using me.

[Anonymous No.]

Bet on the Super bowl winner 1989 to present

[Anonymous No.]

Tell my Mom to leave my Dad and make sure that he can't take my Brother or Me out of school and suck a judge's dick to get custody.

[Anonymous No.]

Hope I get to keep my memories and skills.

Draw, draw like a motherfucker so that I can be amazing in my teens and god tier in my 20s.

Also, pick up better eating habits at a young age instead of in my 20's.

[Anonymous No.]

Estrogen therapy.
Immediately

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837518
>implying you even know who went to superbowl in those years.

[Anonymous No.]

Stop 9/11, get Al Gore elected, invest stock in Macintosh

[Anonymous No.]

Report this thread.

[Anonymous No.]

If it's time-travel + memories, stocks in facebook, google, myspace (sell by 2006), and avoid the manga section of the HS library at all costs. If it's just time-travel, but no memories, then it's a useless exercise because everything will happen the same anyways. If it's just wake up and suddenly I'm 5, then I get a few days in national spotlight as super-genius until someone figures out I've just got a 15-year head start on my peers.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837558
I watched them all, and the playoffs nigga

[Anonymous No.]

Beat the everliving shit out the the bitch who got me expelled from my private school for accidentally scratching her ass when I meant to scratch mine.

Bitch completely ruined my life and I was labeled a sex offender at fucking 9 years old. Fucking religious nutjobs.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837582
self-fulfilling prophecy, I presume?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837582
>accidentally scratching her ass when I meant to scratch mine

[Anonymous No.]

Use my grad-school level knowledge to appear to be one of those child geniuses, get into Harvard at like ten years old, never be expected to fit in socially due to my super accelerated pace and yet still be highly respected.

OP didn't mention anything about going back in time though or anything, if he did then obviously I'd fill in my dad on what's going on, tell him when the real estate bubble's gonna burst, what teams won the world series when, who to invest in etc.

I'd much rather wake up as a female version of myself though, this thread is boring.

[Anonymous No.]

Graduate from elementary school, middle school, and high school as quickly as possible. Be labeled a child prodigy. Buy stocks in Google and Apple, invest in Gold in 1999 when it hit a 20-year low. Use the benefit of my age to learn Japanese, Chinese, German, Russian, and French.

[Ayashiro !Hime2512LA No.]

Make a different set of mistakes than the first time around, possibly with a worse outcome. I have all sorts of regrets, but this is the only path.
Oh, and become fabulously wealthy from foreknowledge of the stock market.

It'd be fun to be stuck in a Groundhog Day type scenario which lasted seventeen years, I think. There'd be so many different possible variations on life when it's not limited to such a short time.

[Anonymous No.]

I'd reset my priorities in skill acquisition.
By age 10:
Start guitar, harmonica, and kung fu lessons.
By age 14:
Start basics of Japanese and Chinese languages. Emphasize the latter.
Let my hair grow out long. That short thing was a bad idea.
Age 15:
Continue the photography I started in freshman year of high school. Do more research. Pay more attention in math class.
Age 16:
Try out skateboarding.
Rehearse more for my stand up comedy presentations. (yes, I did three.)
Try to find a way to stay longer in Japan than just 6 weeks.
Age 18:
Pick a better major than "East Asian Languages & Cultures." Something marketable. Take a minor instead.
Tell Mary that her next two boyfriends will be shit, and she should instead take me and that hot Egyptian girl at her hippie college for a weekend of threesome action.
Age 19:
Keep training with that Muai Thai guy on campus.
Post-graduation:
Apply to JET; not Interac... stupid shits.
Hold off on buying the Panasonic G1. Might as well have saved up for a Pentax K-x or better yet, a nice entry level Nikon. Ask grandparents for lenses for Hanukah. Better than gift cards.

[Anonymous No.]

I'd rather wake up as a 12 year old 2D girl version of myself

[Anonymous No.]

I'd beat up nerds every day. I'll take my time with high school. Maybe stay back a year or two. I'd be the school's banchou. High school and earlier are the only times you can get away with punching people in the face for no reason. I wasted that time studying and shit. I'd use my father's life insurance to invest in successful companies to fuel my lifestyle of beating nerds until I die.

[Anonymous No.]

Study harder, learn Japanese before I turn 11 or so. Learn different sorts of important trade skills, such as scamming.

[Anonymous No.]

Rescue my parents. ;_;

[Anonymous No.]

I would use my unnaturally developed mind to creep the hell out of every adult I meet.

[Anonymous No.]

I don't get fat after highschool. And I cause a lot of trouble for all the teachers I hated. And I bet A LOT. Since I will know who wins and everything.

[Anonymous No.]

I thought about this before, and to be honest, I'd be a completely different person. I'd live life happily with lots of energy and be eccentric knowing I've essentially avoided the hell I'm in now. Any problem wouldn't faze me.

And I get the added bonus of enjoying the 90s and early World Wide Web.

But back to reality, it really does suck being at a dead end. I hate to be vague, but there's just nothing I can do where I'm living. I need to get the fuck out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837768
It's overrated.

[Anonymous No.]

Get a patent for every major creation in the past 14 years (I'm 19, go figure) that's possible for me to do.

Create them and make infinity money.

[Anonymous No.]

Stay in high school and never ever play WoW.

[Anonymous No.]

Save JFK.

I mean. Fuck I'm old.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6838156
Is WoW really claiming the lives of that many high schoolers? Guidance councilors should be more aware of WoW, or at least give them a second chance. In America, it's not like it's easy getting into a college not filled with niggers if you've dropped out of high school.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837582
funniest fucking thing i've read today since the /b/ haiku thread!

thanks :D

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837738
! :(

[Anonymous No.]

>>6838165
It doesn't claim lives it just makes you look like an idiot in front of the entire school.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837738
Nope.
You don't go back in time, you just become 5 years old.
So no parents for you.

[Anonymous No.]

Learn Japanese.
Get a real interest in music, and start playing the electone.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6838229
>able to relive your entire life
Explain.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6838229
That would be pretty sad. If I suddenly became 5 years old, my parents would abandon me on the spot.

[Anonymous No.]

Damn, I would file patents for every successful invention in the last 18 years. I would be drowning in money and pussy by age 18.

[Anonymous No.]

never visit 4chan

[Anonymous No.]

>>6838335
OR
Create 4chan yourself.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6838327
OP never made it clear whether you just become 5 years old or go back in time to when you were 5 years old

[Anonymous No.]

>>6838363
>relive
Explain.

[Anonymous No.]

Study music harder,that's pretty much it.

Picked up the Guitar like 4 years ago and goddammit do I ever wish I didn't halfass my Violin lessons so much. I never even learned how to read notes back then because that's how little effort I put in.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837431

This. Whether I go back in time or not doesn't matter.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6838370
Pick up a book on music theory

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837429
I will learn to play and master as many instruments as I can.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837507
obviously.

after that fails, take a math major instead of computer science.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837429
Oh, please, I don't want to relive everything again! I'm pretty much OK as my life is right now.

[Anonymous No.]

Learn Japanese sooner and avoid stupid stuff in my life I regretted; like losing my gameboy games at one of my mother's friend's kid's birthday parties I was dragged to because all I did was play my gameboy in the corner while all the other kids played, and I guess one of them swiped my game pouch or something while I was busy staring at the screen. Oh, and stopping embarrassing mistakes like saying "I wonder how her pussy looks" to a game character while my parents are in the room (I think my father said this or something, and I just repeated it later thinking it meant something else in the context he said it in). Man, that embarrassing moment still haunts me, even though I'm sure my parents forgot about it by now and don't find it too big of a deal at all. Y'know, that small stuff that nobody really remembers anymore, but you'll still keep reflecting on for the rest of your life? I'll prevent those. Though, it won't really matter because I'll STILL REMEMBER THEM regardless.

Other than that, there's not much I'd change other than play different games growing up and such.

Really though, for Japanese I'll start early as hell. Day 1 I'll go up to my parents with a hand-written sentence in Japanese (I'm not anywhere close to fluent but I can write a paragraph or so at my current state) and ask them to find me a Japanese class. I'm sure I can persuade them.

[Anonymous No.]

Prevent the creation of Crunchyroll

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837430
This and I'd learn as much about information technology and networking as possible.

Using my knowlege of future events and movies would be fun. I'd have spoilers for Return of the Jedi and I'd know when the Challenger is going to explode and top secret shit like when the USSR gets overthrown.

[Anonymous No.]

Do I go back in time? Then I'd do a shitload of Nobel-worthy research (some of it is really easy when you know the process behind what you're inspecting) before the actual Nobel holders could do it and create Facebook, Youtube and the like; while using the money I earn for hormone treatments and surgery that'll make me a cute girl. By the time I get into high school (I'd choose a private one for girls, of course) I'd be an elegant lesbian ojou-sama hailed as a child genius, and I'd take a cute freshman as my lover.

Since I suddenly returned to being 5, surely there's magic in this world. I find how to use it and become an immortal magical girl (Faustian deal with creepy familiar that wants me to kill witches optional); while doing research is nice and all, it just doesn't compare to such a perfect job. Or better yet, I could combine my current and ideal jobs and be a scientist magical girl, wearing a frilly lab coat and wielding a giant inoculation loop decorated with ribbons as my staff. Instead of blasting people with lasers, my staff would inflict people with coccidiomycosis, anthrax, hydatid disease, guinea worms and the like.

If only ;_;

[Anonymous No.]

Off myself. I can't even imagine why anybody would want to live their life over again.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6838497
>I find how to use it and become an immortal magical girl (Faustian deal with creepy familiar that wants me to kill witches optional)

[Anonymous No.]

Learn to dance and learn an instrument or something because if I'd have done that when I was a kid, I'd be talented by now.

[Anonymous No.]

Spend my life training to be an idol.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6838548
I think this through when I go to bed all the time. I'll steal all of the iM@S songs and start a career as a trap idol in the 90s.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6838518

[Anonymous No.]

I'd be very depressed at the fact that I've lost a future I won't be able to recreate.

Assuming by "you" you do you really mean "you", I'd make myself out to be a child genius or some kind of oracle. The problem I see with that is a butterfly effect may cause several of my predictions to be wrong.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837431

i was gonna say get a sex change as young as possible

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837429
FUCK NO

MY CHILDHOOD WAS FUCKING TERRIBAD

I WOULD FUCKING KILL MYSELF

[Anonymous No.]

I warn my father of the cancer he's got. Maybe he'll live if it's diagnosed early.

;_;

[Anonymous No.]

>>6838892

I would tell my father that all those cigarettes are going to fully clog his arteries in 10 years. He wouldn't listen though, so I would have to beg my mother to hospitalize him literally 2 days before he dies (when he was coughing violently over the toilet bowl).

[Anonymous No.]

>>6838911
I think I'd tell mine that tums isn't a remedy for vomiting blood.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837431
This is pretty much it. Other stuff could follow from there.

[Anonymous No.]

Develop my god complex as a means of combating faggoty insecurities and social anxiety.

Shits been so much easier since.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6838911
I'd slap your ass off for trying to make me live with you 2 days before I get my freedom.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6837430
This, and find touhou and /jp/ sooner.

["iluvOP !ge9bznqAsg No.]

Live like I did till today, take back what I said to some teacher on the phone 3 minutes ago. Thus Im going to school tomorrow in some "special" group to study with asspies and delinquents. Fucking fuck! Eye am frustrated!