Cute Fujoshi. Do they exist outside of Japan?

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Anonymous Tue Apr 5 07:04:46 2011 No.7188514 [Reply] [Original]

Cute Fujoshi.

Do they exist outside of Japan?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 07:05:46 2011 No.7188517 >>>/soc/

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 07:05:46 2011 No.7188518 no

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 07:06:46 2011 No.7188522 >Fujoshi >Cute Pick one, faggot OP.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 07:07:46 2011 No.7188523 I don't get that tshirt. Is it supposed to ironically imply that the wearer is single, thus making loads of male otaku hit on her?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 07:08:46 2011 No.7188524 forever alone xD

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 07:09:46 2011 No.7188526 >Cute Fujoshi What a nice oxymoron.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 07:11:46 2011 No.7188532

>>7188523
Yes, women are all whores who love slavering attention. Otaku girls are going to be the next "Gamer girlz"- spending more time attention whoring over the fact that they watch anime, read manga, and play video games than they actually do on all these activities combined.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 07:14:46 2011 No.7188545 >>7188532 Aren't there plenty of girls like that already?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 07:15:46 2011 No.7188547 >>7188532 Actually, I'm pretty sure it's already happening. Especially true for cosplayers, as ~70% of them don't have much of an idea who they actually cosplay as.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 07:17:46 2011 No.7188552

>>7188545
Yeah they're just starting out though. This is the new trend after gamer girls. Remember when emo kids started dying out and hipsters sprouted a few years back? The same thing is happening. now that I think about it, sociology sounds pretty interesting if you can study these trends. Who starts them? What encourages them? What are the factors that contribute to these trends?

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 07:45:46 2011 No.7188610

I think otaku girls appeared before gamer girls but gamer girls first started to become prevalent with normals.

I can easily think of a tremendous number of otaku girls I used to speak to on IRC ten years who watched anime like Sailor Moon and read a bunch of manga but very few played video games.

What affects these girls becoming otaku or gamer girls in the normal realm is the popularity of these subjects in men. When I think of all the fujoshi I met ten years ago, they were all online. I never saw any girls IRL who were into anime. Men I had met, both online and offline, were into games and considered anime and manga too feminine.

Due to the attraction men have to games, normal girls have been drawn to games for attention. They appear both online and offline but initially become drawn into the videogame world from real life. As they are drawn into the online realm, they discover men into anime and manga (I have not met men into anime IRL but have online) and then venture into otaku culture.

The reason a lot of people don't see a lot of otaku girls and rather only hear about them is because of where they stay in the online realm. They tend to stay in forums such as Gaia Online or on boards such as /cgl/, /cm/, or /y/. Gamer girls are more prevalent if you go on /v/, /b/, etc.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 08:26:46 2011 No.7188671 >>7188517 I hate you. I clicked on that to see just how bad it would be. My brain hurts now.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 08:51:46 2011 No.7188710

>>7188610
Very well put. I don't give too much thought to things like this. I personally like what I like and don't give two, let alone one, shit about what others think of me or my hobbies. I am a female (boo, hiss, I know, I know), and if pressed, would probably have to label myself as Otaku (I don't think Fujoshi quite fits...not sure though). There are reasons as to why I fit this title and I am sure they are not all good or as glamorized as this new "girl-otaku" trend would lead the masses to believe. That's a whole different story though. So moving along, I also saw the rise of the "Gamer-Girlz" and as a fem Otaku who was more interested in anime and manga, I believe you are totally correct about the motives these girlz had. It was to impress dudes who might not have otherwise been interested. At least in the situations I had the displeasure of witnessing. Let me tell you I dropped my Saturn controller and bit back bile at the term and as I saw my more normal female friends picking up Street Fighter to try to get a Guy X's attention. I honestly lost interest in games until recently due to being so close to such behavior. I still retch when some female in my vicinity refers to herself as such. So I can completely agree with you on that aspect. And yes, now that you mention it "Otaku-Girlz" does seem to be the new trend. Hmm... it makes sense now. I was wondering why there were so many fake tits and bleach jobs roaming aimlessly around the con halls recently. Oh well...

I will argue that I find the shirt to be 'cute'. Not because I think it will get me laid, more like an ironic joke, "L-O-L forever alone (with my cat and Gundam collection)", kind of thing.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 08:53:46 2011 No.7188714 >>7188517 Oh god why??!! What the fuck am I seeing. Really, I never knew that place existed.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 08:54:46 2011 No.7188717 OP and anyone who took this thread seriously is a disgusting normalfag. Out, get, of, /jp/ rearrange

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 08:54:46 2011 No.7188720 They don't even exist in Japan.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 08:56:46 2011 No.7188727 >>7188710 >ironic joke >Gundam collection I can't quite figure out whether you're a hipster or a fujoshi.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 08:56:46 2011 No.7188728 >>7188671 >>7188714 It's like a normalfag parody. I really don't understand why such people are on 4chan but I can't think of a better sign of this site having gone to complete shit than their presence.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 08:57:46 2011 No.7188731 >>7188710 >ironic joke >L-O-L >forever alone yeah, no. get out.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 08:58:46 2011 No.7188732 sage

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:04:46 2011 No.7188738 >>7188732 BUMP 4 answers lolxD

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:05:46 2011 No.7188741 >>7188727 Though I always thought a prerequisite for a Fujoshi was being into yaoi/slash. Not a big fan so I must be a hipster. Does this mean I need bigger glasses?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:07:46 2011 No.7188744 >>7188741 It means you need to get out of /jp/.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:08:46 2011 No.7188745 >>7188741 >into Gundam >not into yaoi Bullshit.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:10:46 2011 No.7188746
File: 158 KB, 1440x1080, [a-s]_mobile_suit_zeta_gundam_-_33_-_messenger_of_axis__rs2_[1080p_bd-rip][CC0173E6].mkv_snapshot_07.09_[2011.04.04_16.05.21].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>7188745
Maybe she is a pedophile.
I mean if he wasn't OP and a poor troll.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:12:46 2011 No.7188749 >>7188514 I guess face wasnt photographed for a reason.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:13:17 2011 No.7188750 >>7188746 Ok so if I am not a Fujoshi or a hipster I must be a pedophile? Well your logic seems sounds. I won't argue.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:15:46 2011 No.7188753

Why would you even want a fujoshi girlfriend?

Most normal girls will watch anime with you. If they won't dress up for you as a catgirl maid/schoolgirl/whatever there are cafes for men who like those things.

I never understood the flocking to girls with geeky hobbies. Hobbies have nothing to do with relationships.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:15:46 2011 No.7188754

How refreshing, here we have another japanese word people don't know the meaning of but keep using it anyways because it makes them feel more cool and in-the-know.
Fujoshi is not a synonym of "otaku girl" or "loser girl" or whatever the fuck you think it means.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:16:46 2011 No.7188755 >>7188746 So if I am not a Fujoshi or a hipster, I must be a pedophile. Well your logic seems sound.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:18:46 2011 No.7188757 >>7188755 GET THE FUCK OUT OF /jp/

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:19:46 2011 No.7188760 That feel when you're a girl, have played video games since you were a little girl and all your clasmates have only ever been normals who only played GTA/PES/COD on their PS2/3.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:21:46 2011 No.7188762

>>7188753
It seems really depressing to be into a relationship with a girl you don't share hobbies with. Sure, she might put up with some of your hobbies, but that doesn't mean she'll respect them, and in return, you have to put up with a bunch of her dreadfully boring hobbies.

Not to say that a relationship with a fujoshi would be ideal. There are upsides and downsides depending on your choice of partner, and the downsides always outweigh the upsides.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:26:46 2011 No.7188776 File: 227 KB, 480x1080, 1270495712677.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7188755 >Into /jp/ and gundam >not a pedo ur fooling noone.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:27:46 2011 No.7188779 I just saw a thread on /a/ in which there are 2 guys with wives and children. There is now a thread on /jp/ of all places where people are seriously discussing the advantages of 3D relationships. I'm done.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:28:46 2011 No.7188782 >>7188776 Honestly, I never said I wasn't. This, I will have to agree with.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:31:46 2011 No.7188790 >>7188782 >continuing some inane discussion about nothing >not saging WHICH PART OF GET OUT OF /jp/ IS DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:35:46 2011 No.7188803 >>7188790 I am honestly trying to figure this board out.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:35:46 2011 No.7188804

>>7188762
What counts as dreadfully boring? I find a good proportion of anime dreadfully boring, especially the shit most female fans like.

I guess these days I'm more of a Japanese language enthusiast more than anything else so I'm more or less satisfied by pretty girls who speak my target language who get on with me well.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:36:46 2011 No.7188806 File: 277 KB, 586x334, 1301924337383.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7188803 The first step you can take in understanding it is leaving it and never coming back.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:38:46 2011 No.7188808 >>7188804 >satisfied by pretty girls

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:38:46 2011 No.7188809 >exist >cute No, this is the problem here. The fujoshi part doesn't enter into it.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:40:46 2011 No.7188811

>>7188762
Agreed, I'd rather stay single than be in a relationship with someone I can't relate to. It's just unfortunate that Otaku are uncommon (or in the closet) to begin with and are usually considered broken or undesirable individuals by those less geeky in relation.

Turns the odds of finding a reasonable match into a raffle with near-impossible odds, where the prize can be taken away at the first sign of doubt by either party.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:40:46 2011 No.7188812 Now that /jp/ is this awful at this time of night, I may just have to kill myself. Fuck.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:42:46 2011 No.7188816

>I personally like what I like and don't give two, let alone one, shit about what others think of me or my hobbies.
>Quit gaming when you find other girls do it

Pretty sure you're the ultimate definition of a hipster.

>>7188779
>seriously discussing

Ha.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:44:46 2011 No.7188821 >>7188811 >I'd rather stay single than be in a relationship with someone I can't relate to. >It's just unfortunate >Turns the odds of finding a reasonable match WHERE THE FUCK AM I

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:44:46 2011 No.7188822 >>7188754 Yeah, it does strike me as strange that people would only want to get into a relationship with a girl who doesn't find you as attractive as her 2D husbando...

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:45:46 2011 No.7188824 >>7188811 If you require identical taste in media to relate to someone, then, well, you must not be a very interesting person.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:47:46 2011 No.7188828 >>7188824 >very interesting person >/jp/ What the hell were you expecting?

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:49:46 2011 No.7188833

>>7188816
Oh well thanks for clearing that up for me. I guess I AM a sucky hipster.

Also, I never said I quit games. I was always more interested in anime and manga. But I will say I did stop playing for a while around that time. Negative association? I probably am just being a sucky hipster though. I am see your point.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:50:46 2011 No.7188836 >>7188833 *can see.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:51:46 2011 No.7188839 >>7188811 You are so reported.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:52:46 2011 No.7188842 >>7188833 What's your favorite anime?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:54:46 2011 No.7188846 >>7188833 Look at this, gentlemen, and rejoice. Because this is what we'd have to put up with every day if we generally tolerated women around here.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:56:46 2011 No.7188851

>>7188846
Ideally, women would be kept in the house at all times by their fathers and then by their husbands once they're married off by people who are into that kind of thing.

Maybe a couple of days a year they would be allowed to come out for some kind of annual festival, that would be it.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:56:46 2011 No.7188852
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:<

My girlfiend is cute(Well, maybe not cute, buy very pretty. I prefer pretty to cute), likes anime, plays lots of games with me and is better than me at about half of them, and is overall awesome.
Not into the Japanese stuff quite as much as me, but does enjoy animu.

now wat.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:57:46 2011 No.7188854 A++++ this thread gave me solid laughs, would read again

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:58:46 2011 No.7188856 >>7188851 I respect your opinion but I strongly disagree. The more women get out, the better it is for us. Or that would be the case if you didn't have your iWhat'sits and your mp3 pods and whatever it is the kids carry around in their pockets nowadays.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 09:59:46 2011 No.7188859 >>7188842 Ranma 1/2. There is very little I dislike about this anime and even though there are many others I have enjoyed over the years, this is an old favorite. That said, I'll leave. Have bugged you guys enough.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:00:46 2011 No.7188860 >>7188852 Sounds awesome bro how about we get together you me and your girlfriend and get fucking drunk and high and play some awesome dragon age 2 then GTA. I'll sms you my facebook details.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:00:46 2011 No.7188862 ITT: trolls trolling trolls trollfest

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:01:46 2011 No.7188865 File: 8 KB, 251x239, 1279924972644.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Normalfags? On MY /jp/? Sadly it's a lot more likely than you'd think.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:02:46 2011 No.7188868 File: 716 KB, 1500x2436, 1269427204779.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7188860 I dont have a facebook, sorry dude.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:03:46 2011 No.7188873 >>7188860 Fuck you guys crack me up. Please don't change ever.

>>	undine !C/kl8M82oE Tue Apr 5 10:06:46 2011 No.7188880 i have a cute fujoshi-friend she likes gaming yaoi anime and cats and fits the tsundere archetype unfortunately she weights 140 pounds and is a bit dumb

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:07:46 2011 No.7188882 I have delicious flat chest.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:08:46 2011 No.7188884 I'd just like to thank everyone that participated in this thread. Genuinely cannot stop laughing.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:08:46 2011 No.7188885 >>7188868 >don't have a facebook I thought I was the only one without one... Well to be honest I took it a step furter and blocked anything they could send me but oh well.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:08:46 2011 No.7188886 my girlfriend has aspergers and an IQ of 148 and is cute and plays games and watches anime

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:09:46 2011 No.7188887 >>7188886 Kevin???

>>	undine !C/kl8M82oE Tue Apr 5 10:10:46 2011 No.7188892 >>7188886 would you like to trade her for my fujoshi-friend?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:11:46 2011 No.7188893 File: 53 KB, 600x497, 1259386728376.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7188887 nope

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:11:46 2011 No.7188894 oh yeah?fuck you guys my girlfriend cosplays as marisa and reimu for me and then we have furious sex while she is mukyu.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:11:46 2011 No.7188895 >>7188885 I don't have a facebook. I suspect most /jp/ers don't either.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:12:46 2011 No.7188898 File: 639 KB, 709x1004, 1258352147665.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7188892 No way! I can have intelligent conversations with her about technical stuff and the like. Its the greatest thing in the world.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:13:46 2011 No.7188899 >>7188886 E-girlfriends are not real girlfriends cos you don't have real sex with them

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:13:46 2011 No.7188900 My partner is Van Darkholme.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:13:46 2011 No.7188901 File: 192 KB, 800x523, 20081208_touhou2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7188899 I slept with her last night.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:14:46 2011 No.7188902 >>7188886 By IQ, you meant weight, right? (let's say pounds for realistic overweightness)

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:14:46 2011 No.7188903 >>7188899 He is probably delusional anyway. Nothing to worry about.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:15:46 2011 No.7188904

>>7188885
I registered an account because family members kept pushing me, but then I realized that my old classmates might find me and see that I don't have any friends, so I abandoned it and never accepted the few friend invites I got from family members. I think I'll go and delete it right now, it unsettles me to have it even though there should be no consequences when it's empty.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:15:46 2011 No.7188905 File: 381 KB, 800x967, 1259550455177.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7188902 Nope. IQ. 148.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:16:46 2011 No.7188910 >>7188905 So your girlfriend is autistic?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:17:46 2011 No.7188912 >>7188904 Don't forget that deleting the account is a painful process full of loophole that will reactivate it at the slightest error.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:17:46 2011 No.7188913 File: 39 KB, 500x480, 1284863426369.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7188910 Yes.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:19:46 2011 No.7188916 I never go out of my way for attention, but whenever threads like these pop up I am reminded what complete and utter cocks some of you are. Hating somebody for being born a certain way: cool.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:20:46 2011 No.7188920

>>7188912
This.
Go here:
http://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=delete_account

And then after you do that those normals will cancel the deletion process if you sign in at any point for two weeks. That shouldn't be a problem for a /jp/er, but you need to keep it in mind.

They pretty much hide this on their site too, making people think disabling the account or whatever the other thing is called is the only option.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:20:46 2011 No.7188922 >>7188916 Get out of /jp/ you disgusting slut.

>>	Komeiji Koishi is my master !xIXo1SmYf2 Tue Apr 5 10:20:46 2011 No.7188924 I often pity people whith partners. Oh well to each their own I guess. But don't complain about your broken heart later okay?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:22:46 2011 No.7188926 believe it or not but i know one. if it wasn't for her porn addiction, she'd be a moe dream come 3D, i tell you. is 21 and never even kissed because HURR DURR 2D IS SUPERIOR, such a waste. can't say i don't understand her tho.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:22:46 2011 No.7188927 >>7188916 We belittle animals because they are born as animals, we don't care when we stamp on insects. Granted, I would care more if I stamped on a human female but it's not ridiculous to treat them for what they are.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:22:46 2011 No.7188928 File: 186 KB, 1280x724, kokoro_chan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7188886 My girlfriend is cute and has an IQ of 1300.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:25:46 2011 No.7188932 >>7188916 We don't hate them for being female, we hate them for being attention whores. If they weren't attention whores, they wouldn't feel the need to mention their gender with every post.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:26:46 2011 No.7188935

>>7188927
The people who belittle or abuse animals are disgusting pieces of trash. I can't bear the thought of stomping an animal or a woman. Even insects I feel bad for. I can't stand things like fly spray and all that.

Why the fuck am I even posting this?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:26:46 2011 No.7188936 >>7188920 Thanks, was looking for that. I feel much better already, not having to worry about making any presence out of myself on the internet anymore.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:27:46 2011 No.7188939 >>7188932 >they wouldn't feel the need to mention their gender with every post. Who does that here? You're fighting an invisible enemy.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:27:46 2011 No.7188940 >>7188924 Pity is a disgusting and hypocritical feeling.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:28:46 2011 No.7188943
File: 103 KB, 1280x720, 1301926316513.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I had a facebook account for family members but after I made it I changed my name to my waifu's name and all my pictures were of me and her together (photoshop) then all my relatives deleted me and didn't want to be IRL friends either;_;

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:29:46 2011 No.7188944

>>7188916
>I never go out of my way for attention
Man, it pisses me off when femanons act all coy about their attention-whoring and think it's justified just because they're a little more subtle than the worst of attention-whores. It's all the same shit.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:29:46 2011 No.7188945 >>7188943 I'd do the same. Learn to hide your powerlevels, retard.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:31:46 2011 No.7188946

>>7188935

Strangely enough I've been having problems with that. Bugs scare me, but I know I shouldn't kill them. I've been trying to improve myself and find out what an ideal person would be like and apply that to my life, but it's very difficult to find the answers.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:31:46 2011 No.7188947

Miko stood uncomfortably in her short skirt and blouse in front of her new boss. She was scared and embarassed by the unusual alterations to her body. Her petite breasts were now big and round, with thumb-sized nipples making little tents in her blouse. Her new PENIS was big enough to raise up her skirt and just poke out from under the edge of it. And her belly felt really weird.

"So you just want me to... pee?" she asked hesitantly.

"That's right, just into this cup," said her boss. "Just try it out."

"All.. All right..." she said. She was flushing a deep red. But suddenly she actually had to pee. It was tough making her muscles relax in front of a strange man, but eventually she could feel the liquid traveling down her PENIS from its base to its tip. It was cold!

Her boss held the cup out and after a couple seconds it filled with a red liquid. "Good job," he said. "Now see what it tastes like!"

She took a sip and it wasn't bitter at all, like urine, it was sweet! It tasted just like cranberry juice!

"And if they want ice, you know what to do," her boss said. "Yup," said Miko. She was ready to go on the floor.

The first table had a man and two women, probably a couple and a sister out for a date. She walked up and asked them what they wanted.

"We'll have two cranberry juices and a Pilsner for my sister," the man said. "Just a second," said Miko. She walked over to the man's glass and relaxed her muscles. Nothing happened for a couple seconds, but then her big half-erect PENIS filled with cold juice and out of the tip came a red splash of juice into the cup. Soon it was full. She used her hand to squeeze out the last drops.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:31:46 2011 No.7188949 File: 73 KB, 425x419, 1299720656517.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7188943 Why would you do such a thing?

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:32:46 2011 No.7188951

"Do you want some ice?" she said. She squatted and pulled her skirt up to reveal her beautiful behind, little pink button right in the center. She pushed and from behind you could see the clear piece of ice, completely clean, squeezing through her butthole, falling into the glass. It was really cold! Two more came out, plop! plop!

She had no idea what they'd done to her gut but it was really weird. She kinda liked it! The whole situation was making her aroused and she was getting really stiff!

After she filled the woman's glass from her inexhaustible PENIS (there was always more juice and she could change the flavor just by thinking), she opened up her blouse and drew some beer from her huge breasts for the other woman. But as she was walking to her next table, one of the other tables called her over. There were two guys there, probably in their twenties. One of them was having ice cream.

"Hey, waiter! Server!" he called. She walked over, conscious of the fact that she wasn't carrying any equipment - plates, cups, food, anything. Everything she needed was all inside her new body. As she walked up to the table, she could feel the weight of her erect PENIS wobbling from side to side, cold from serving the juice. It felt really odd. She wanted to shake it back and forth for some reason.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:34:46 2011 No.7188954

"Thanks so much", said the guy when she reached his table. "Just a second..." He grabbed her erect PENIS and brought it over to the ice cream. It felt so weird to have this stranger's hands around her PENIS. But he began moving his hand up and down her shaft, applying the right amount of pressure, and it began to feel really good. She hadn't been told about this part of the job! She could feel a warm feeling right above her VAGINA right at the base of her PENIS that began to spread into the shaft. He sped up and the pleasure spread throughout her body as she rapidly approached orgasm. It was a jangling, pulsing feeling that she hadn't ever felt before! She broke through an invisible wall, moaning and hiccuping in astonishment, as great steaming chocolate gobs of syrup spurted out onto the man's ice cream.

He slowed down as she spurted and when she was done he sucked the last bit of syrup from her glans. The whole thing had taken around twenty seconds. She wanted to collapse on top of this young man but instead she smiled and said, "Have a nice day sir!" and walked to her next table.

Komeiji Koishi is my master !xIXo1SmYf2 Tue Apr 5 10:34:46 2011 No.7188956

>>7188935
I know that feeling.
I just think that it is not fair to treat humans better than animals!
I mean, why would we be better?
Because we are hurr intelligent?This gives us a reason to kill them without even feeling guilty?

That's like saying that a mentally retarded human should be killed.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:34:46 2011 No.7188957 File: 47 KB, 498x375, 1279757912008.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7188945 >>7188949 Because I love my waifu of course

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:35:46 2011 No.7188960

Miko stood behind a thin plywood wall at the festival outside the cafe with plugs in her ears. Passers-by looking at the wall would see a painted picture of a woman at the beach, but Miko's gigantic, creamy naked breasts stuck out from two holes in the wood through the torso of the painted woman's svelte swimsuited figure. Miko's erect PENIS stuck out incongruously and egregiously through another hole in the wall, not lining up in any aesthetic way with the woman's body. Miko couldn't see if anybody was looking. Her PENIS hardened further and she flushed bright red, knowing that everybody could see her most private parts but nobody knew it was her. A minute passed in electrically charged silence. Because of her earplugs, she didn't know whether there was a crowd out there or anybody at all. Suddenly she felt a hand grab her left breast. She drew in a sharp intake of breath. Whoever it was began to knead it slowly. She arched her back in arousal, and imported German beer sprayed out from her nipples. Then she felt the tongue on the head of her cranberry-red PENIS...

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:36:03 2011 No.7188962 This thread is an abomination. And irrelevant, since all real /jp/ users are elegant little girls who don't feel the need to feed their insecurities by seeking attention.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:36:46 2011 No.7188961

I have been an atom, a goat and a mountain. I have seen the stars and blown as a brisk wind through ancient twilit fjords, tousling the hair of young skraelings on distant worlds. I have lived in the minds of men and beasts. I have known ultimate pleasure and come near to true enlightenment: I have seen the mind of a god. But I am a man. I owe all this to an amazing friendship that came out of nowhere. Or rather, the friendship began before either of us were aware the other existed.

I live on a hill in the city, near to a lake. A hundred years ago, when the city was young, the lake was a giant swamp, but as people moved in to the area it was cleaned up into a nice park. Now the water is blue and clear, except for a few algae-ridden weeks in the summer, and it laps gently on grassy banks. A concrete path, divided into lanes for walking and biking, runs through the park all the way around the lake - a circumference of around three miles. It's really convenient for me because I can jog down there in the morning, run around the lake, and be back home in time to shower and catch the bus for work. But it's also a nice place to meander around on the weekends. There are always a lot of interesting people there.

Near the northwest corner of the lake is a small, muddy island, peeking maybe five feet out of the water. Trees have taken advantage of that small purchase and spread their branches out over the surrounding waters, and you have to maneuver around logs and underwater branches for a while before you can land a boat there. From the shore, it looks like a hemisphere of leaves rising from the lake. Within sight of the island, as the path curves around the lake, is a boxy brick building that used to be a bathhouse eighty years ago and now is derelict - a storehouse for the boat center. I was walking past that building one Saturday in mid-October when I met her for the first time.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:37:46 2011 No.7188963 This thread is an abomination. And irrelevant, since all real /jp/ users are elegant little girls who don't feel the need to feed their insecurities by seeking attention.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:37:46 2011 No.7188964 >>7188944 This is the first time I've mentioned anything. My posts are indistinguishable and yet I'm somehow a shitposter.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:38:46 2011 No.7188965

It was a sudden and odd feeling. I felt for a split second that I was walking through someone else's dream. But before I had a chance to be surprised, the eerieness passed and the world flipped back to normal. My mind reeled, and as I recovered, something caught my eye. A girl - was she there before? - was sitting on an old log that the park preserved as a home for birds and small animals. She was looking away from me towards the water, and playing with something in her hands. It glinted silver in the cloudy light. I glanced away, but something caught in my mind and I glanced back. She was not only young - around six or seven, it looked - but also eerily diminutive: she was in all respects about three quarters the size of a normal girl her age. Her head was about as big as two of my fists put together, her features delicate and gracile. She would have been light-framed even if she were normal sized, and her hair was long and dull brown. As she sat on the log her expression was blank and listless and she took no notice of the world.

I saw no adult nearby and I started to wonder if she was safe. The wind was blowing and her hair whipped around her long face. Hesitantly I walked over to the log. I realized I had no idea what to say. How do you address a child who has nobody watching over her, but is sitting by herself as quietly and calmly as ever, completely unworried? I remembered when I was that age and I got lost at the fair. Just being without an adult completely freaked me out and I started bawling. A kindly old lady helped me to find my school group, who were in fact just in sight fifty feet away. I couldn't imagine being so young all on my own and yet so placid.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:39:46 2011 No.7188967

>>7188956
This is true. Most people are too stupid to even think about it, I guess. I honestly can't begin to understand how people can actually torture animals.

I have a lot of trouble seeing things in pain too. People or animals. Part of the reason I am reclusive. I just can't stand it and almost feel it, personally. It leaves me a scattered mess.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:39:46 2011 No.7188968

"Excuse me, miss," I said awkwardly. But I didn't actually say it, because the moment the words formed in my mind the girl's back tensed and she turned her expressionless face to look at me, silencing me completely. After a second, her eyes opened the slightest bit wider and she spoke to me. "Where did you come from?" she said. Her voice was husky as if she had a sore throat.

"I, I, I'm Anders," I said, as if that answered her question. But apparently it did, because she looked me up and down and when she looked back at me there was a hint of a smile in her eyes. "I don't know you," she said. "You are kind, though." She looked down at the thing in her hands and I saw that it was a little silver bangly thing, with four or five oddly shaped links all falling over and through each other.

"What are you holding there?" I said. She looked back at me with grey-green eyes. "It's a puzzle," she said. "I'm trying to get it to come open. It's supposed to come apart." It looked like one of those little metal puzzles that you get at magic stores, the ones that seem like they're hopelessly linked together, but then suddenly you get them apart and you can never remember how you did it. "Can I try?" I asked.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:41:46 2011 No.7188971 >>7188954 >>7188951 >>7188947 is it wrong that i got slightly aroused from reading this.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:41:46 2011 No.7188972

She hesitated for a moment and then held out the puzzle. I walked over and took it from her hand. There were more links than it had seemed when she held it, and I jingled it around for a few seconds to no avail. "I figured out how to fix it a bit but I don't know what to do next," the girl said. I handed it back to her and she fiddled with it for a bit and showed it to me.

It seemed to have less links than before.

I was pretty amazed. "That's really neat," I said, and she put it in a pocket after a second, and glinted at me with her eyes. I remembered why I had walked over to her. "Are your parents around?" I asked.

She looked at me askance and said, "I can't tell you, you're a stranger." She didn't seem to be too alarmed at this, though. Perhaps she knew not to talk to strangers but hadn't quite acquired the proper associated fear. I needed to persist. "Are you here all by yourself?"

"No, I have the ducks to keep me company, and the lake to keep me warm," she replied impishly. "And I have you now too. Are you my friend?" Her face revealed a flash of something I couldn't identify. Some kind of sadness?

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:42:46 2011 No.7188974

I was surprised, both at the strange question and at the sudden hint of color in this inexpressive creature's face. "Umm, I met you five minutes ago," I said. I was about to say something more, I don't know what, when a voice called out across the grass.

"Esther! Esther, what are you doing?" The girl flickered as if a sudden cloud had obscured the sun, which was odd because it was already quite cloudy. She turned towards the voice, which turned out to be a blonde woman in her late twenties carrying a canvas tote bag and wearing a thick sweater. "Mom, I made a new friend!" She said. The mother glanced at me in uncertainty and turned back to her daughter. "Sweetie, it's time to go to Kendra's house and I have to do some errands," she said. "I've got your jacket for you, now let's go to the car. Come on, honey."

"But I have to stay here, mommy. I want to talk to Anders." I remembered I had told her my name.

"This man has to go now, honey. Come on, let's go back to the car." The woman didn't meet my eyes as she herded her daughter away from me, while the girl put up typical six-year-old struggles. I realized I hadn't said anything to her. Caution is understandable, I thought, seeing your daughter talking to a strange burly man like she knows him.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:43:46 2011 No.7188975

The whole thing was rather odd, and I stood at the log for around a minute. Why had she called me a friend so soon after calling me a stranger? The wind blew gently and the few people on the path walked by, absorbed in their own affairs. But then I dismissed it from my mind and continued on my way around the lake.

The next day was really the day it all started. I woke up earlier than usual. I can never remember my dreams, but most of them are fuzzy, interminable affairs with trailing threads that I have to gradually shake off as I approach wakefulness. This day, however, my dream actually worked itself to a conclusion and dumped me out fully awake into the world. The memory of the dream drifted away, but I remained amazingly alert and rested. I sat up and checked the clock - it was 5:30 AM. The world was still dark.

Early dawn may be my favorite time of day, but it's rare that I ever get to experience it. I jumped out of bed and realized that I wanted to go running, so I quickly brushed my teeth and put on a sleeveless shirt and some running shorts. It was going to be cold, but I was used to it; a little chill keeps me moving quickly and if I wear too much, then I eventually get unpleasantly sweaty and hot. I donned my shoes and went out into the dark morning.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:45:46 2011 No.7188979

The cloud cover was thick and the dark sky was tinged with the barest beginning of dawn by the time I reached the lake. It had rained overnight and a bunch of slick, dark leaves were strewn over the concrete and gravel. The paths were almost empty, but a few stoic locals were running and walking their dogs. They were all wearing sweatshirts. As my warmth melted away, I realized that it was after all much colder than I had thought. There was nothing to do but run faster. Halfway around the lake, the wind picked up and a fine mist of cold rain began to fall. My thin clothes were soon soaked and the skin on my face and chest went half numb. I touched my face and it felt like dolphin skin, clammy and thick.

I decided to take the bus, so I headed for the bus stop. A short while later, the bus had stopped at a traffic light outside of the library when all of a sudden this huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes pops through the window and screams loudly "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" With almost no thought I departed the bus, and I ran inside as quickly as possible; the snake head was now chasing me around as I frantically searched for the legendary book among the shelves. I spotted the distinctive blue cover and ran toward it, the huge head inches from my ass. With great force I pulled the book from the shelf and instinctively directed it at the black head which by now was dripping with saliva at the mouth. It disappeared as it made contact with the book, disintegrating into a flurry of glowing parentheses.

>>	undine !C/kl8M82oE Tue Apr 5 10:46:46 2011 No.7188983 >>7188916 most of them don't really hate girls they just know they'll probably never have a girlfriend so thinking "i- its not like i like girls or anything" makes them feel better about their desperate situation

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:46:46 2011 No.7188985

I sat there dazed for a few seconds, watching the feathery parentheses slowly become smaller and fade away into nothingness. Slowly, I stood up, still clutching the purple book. I wondered about what I should do with it, then decided to put it back on the shelf. After doing so, I walked back out to the exit and boarded a bus, for where I did not know. The bus driver looked strangely familiar as I dropped the coins into the farebox;

"HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" he suddenly yelled at me. Oh fuck, I thought to myself. Now I knew why he looked so familiar: He was The Sussman!

"Umm... no," I responded weakly. Suddenly his head looked a lot darker than it was a moment ago, and an evil grin appeared across his face. The bus's doors slammed shut and The Sussman's face turned an almost negroid black. His left hand shot at me and I could see that it was not a hand, but the head of a snake which protruded from its end. I turned around and ran towards the back of the articulated bus.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:48:46 2011 No.7188986

"Let me show you the power of Satori," The Sussman said in a deep hiss. His snakelike arm extended from his body towards me as I continued to run for what seemed like eternity towards the longbus's rear door.

"Longbus is loooooooooooooooooooooong", I thought to myself as I continued to run, the snake's head fast approaching. The bus seemed to go on forever. After a while, I passed the driver's seat. WTF, I thought. Ahead of me was The Sussman, standing in the aisle facing the same direction as me, with his left arm pointed forward.

I looked behind me, and saw the snake head was still approaching; I had managed to outrun it for a bit, and it was racing towards me. RECURSION! I jumped into the stepwell just as the head gained a sudden burst of speed, piercing through The Sussman and sending bright glowing parentheses everywhere. I watched first his body, then his hands disintegrate in the same manner that the head had earlier. The long black arm, floating in mid-air, slowly disappeared into a cloud of these glowing parentheses, and the snake's head, which I now noticed had come through the windscreen along with me, did the same after a few moments.

I stepped over to the driver's seat, looking for the door release switch. I found what appeared to be the switch and toggled it, but the doors did not open. Shortly after, a low hissing sound emanated from the bus itself, followed by the loud booming cry of "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?", which felt as if it was coming from inside my head. Suddenly everything turned black.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:49:46 2011 No.7188989

A woman stood there, entirely naked. Her hair blew in wet waves around her head. Her skin was covered with flecks of rain. Her breasts stood out deliciously and generously from her finely-formed frame. From her head to her heels she was golden, curvaceous and real - real both because nothing about her was fake or affected and because she seemed utterly solid and inevitable. She was absolutely beautiful and when I looked at her I felt strongly in two ways. First, that I knew her well, or that somehow she fit exactly with me, as if I had out of the blue found something I had dreamt from whole cloth. Second, that I wanted to grab her savagely, bring her mouth to mine and kiss her with desperate passion, kiss her all up and down her rain-wet body, suck on her perfectly-formed nipples, and never stop touching her, lying under her in the grass breathing gently after we become tired, holding my arm around her body as she drifts into sleep. I looked up at her, hesitant to move. It was only when she smiled and shifted her weight slightly that the fact hit me: She was not some extension of myself, some manifest thought of mine. She was filled with a life all of her own.

I stood there for a second in awe and sat down on the ground. Although the rain had not stopped, the grass was mostly dry. The all-pervading wetness of October was gone and instead I felt a hopeful humidity all around me. I sat there in the blue dawn and felt something begin deep inside me, a new idea twisting with potential. I closed my eyes. The warmth that blew around me kindled a warmth in my body. Although my eyes were shut, I felt my whole self filled with light that glowed softly golden. I was aware of every part of myself, all filled with this light. A great lamp shone deep within my torso, brighter and brighter, pumping through the ventricles of my heart, beams coruscating through my mind, down along my spine, through my kidneys, down to my feet..

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:51:46 2011 No.7188992

When I finally came around by the island, the morning was kindling in the deep blue sky. The basin of the lake reverberated like a bell and the sound, which was beneath human hearing, was translated into that living blueness. As I ran, I couldn't help but mull over my odd conversation with the solitary girl. It really was beyond explanation, what with the weird bangle and her strange but subtle shifts of mood. My thoughts were interrupted, however, when I suddenly felt the same strange dreamwalking feeling again. It was as though I had crossed an invisible line. The wind suddenly changed directions and the new gust blew warm.

The bliss was almost shocking. The wind blew around me and over my wet skin. Numbed limbs and muscles awoke to what felt like the warming breath of spring. The air was tangible and thick with healing, and carried not the smell but the essence of a whole forest of awakening flowers and newly growing plants. The inner rhythm that kept my feet moving fled right out of me and I stopped on the grass. I closed my eyes and felt acutely that I could expand through the warm air like ink dropped on wet paper. The wind blew through me with life and the unexpected gift made me fill with gratitude. The wind still blew warmth softly around me, but the heartbreaking glow was gone. I opened my eyes.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:52:46 2011 No.7188993

I awoke to find myself still inside that mysterious bus, which was completely empty. The engine was still running, and it was still parked outside the library. "The library! Of course!" I thought to myself. As if my mind had been read, the front doors swung open and I ran from the bus toward the library, which also looked empty. I entered the building and frantically ran to where I had found the prized book earlier. The book was still there, and I grabbed it instinctively, then walked to the checkout. All but one counter was open, and there was a little Asian girl standing there; the place was deserted except for me and her. I put the book on the counter and she looked at it for a moment, then at me. "Have you read your SICP today?" she asked.

I came up to my knees in front of her. My face was on level with her chest a couple feet away from her. She said nothing, but her face broke into a full smile and she put her hand underneath my chin, looking at me. It was with that touch, feeling her hand's heat against my face, that I knew that she and the glow that had burned through me were somehow one and the same. I reached out my hand and gently put it against her breast. It was just a bit bigger than my hand -and my hands are pretty big! - so I traced the underside of it. She looked at me with an impish grin and took her hand from my face, putting her arms behind her back and thrusting her chest a bit towards me. I let my fingers sink into her breast, my thumb pressing down her nipple, which sprang right back up as I passed over it. Her breast was soft but more dense than I was used to in my limited experience. Or, I should say that it was denser than usual for her size. I moved my hand and let it fall slightly back into its natural perkiness.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:54:46 2011 No.7188995

"You too?" I replied. "Have some tits and then GTFO and read your SICP!", she angrily unexpectedly shouted, then pulled up her shirt to show me her tits. She shoved the book into my hands and disappeared almost spontaneously amidst the dark area of the counter.

I left the library, and waited at the bus stop. The previous bus was no longer there. The girl I saw earlier walked up to me and looked at the Wizard Book I was holding, then glanced down at my crotch.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:55:46 2011 No.7188997

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING STANDING THERE LIKE AN IDIOT? READ IT!" she suddenly shouted. Astounded, I quickly opened the book and started to read the first chapter. I was so intrigued by the book that I didn't notice she had begun to give me a blowjob. When I looked down, she took his mouth from my cock to angrily shout "GO BACK TO READING YOUR SICP" and so I did. I didn't even notice that I came until after she told me to stop reading. Reverently I ran my hands down her body on either side from her armpits down to her knees. In a bit, out a bit, back in along the thighs. Rainwater ran with my hands and beaded up after they had passed. I took hold of her lower back and placed a slow kiss right under her bellybutton. Her skin felt soft but at the same time tight with vigor and life, an electric warmth against my lips. Gradually I traveled in a string of kisses up the center of her stomach until the top of my head grazed her breasts. Instead of shoving my way through the soft canyon I slowly stood up into a crouch and began again with a kiss right on the top of her cleavage, journeying up past her collarbone and her solid but graceful neck. I paused for a moment to look into her eyes as I stood up to my full height. Her face was full of an amazing joy that was beyond my understanding. Years and years of patience and starvation cracked and revealed an untouched soul.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:56:46 2011 No.7189001

I embraced her tightly to me and kissed her tender and long. I would say that it was the best kiss of my life, but taking into account subsequent events I can't stand by that statement. Suffice it to say that the moment our lips touched, I ceased to be a man and became instead a pair of lips, opening and closing, caressing, totally subsumed in the movement and transformation of the mouth I was kissing, and when she gave me her tongue I accepted and reciprocated. It may seem silly to say but even her tongue was full of life and joy, quick but tender. I spread my hands across her lower back, my fingers just barely dimpling the top of her glorious ass. The kiss was passionate, strong but not savage, and every deep breath spooled out into turbulent rivers of time.

A short while later, the bus arrived and I boarded, relieved to see the bus driver acting normally. She remained at the stop, presumably to wait for a different bus. Throughout the ride to my place near the lake I nervously glanced at the windows hoping the head would not reappear.

She was gone and I hadn't even said a single word to her once we boarded the bus. But as I looked around in a daze, feeling again the touches of the brisk autumn breeze, I stepped on something.

A silver blacksmith's puzzle.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:58:46 2011 No.7189004

I grabbed the puzzle from the ground. It was maybe a little bit more coppery, maybe a little bit bigger, but I was sure it was the same one that the little girl had shown me the day before. Esther? Was that her name? I jangled it around for a bit, still basking in the glow of the impossible thing that had just happened to me. Just like before, it was really tough to get an idea of exactly how many parts there were in the thing. There were around six links or so, but as soon as I thought I had a count I discovered another ring or realized that I'd started on the wrong one and had to start over. I couldn't get a fix on it, but I was beginning to get serious chills from the wind and the rain. As far as I could tell, the area was completely empty. I had to start running again.

As I ran, as my body began to stoke its own furnaces against the pervasive cold, the amazing joy faded into memory, and all of the mysteries of the past couple days piled up into one intractable question. The conversation with the little girl had been odd, but it hadn't flaunted the rules of our universe like the encounter with the glowing woman. However, the strange blacksmith's puzzle seemed to link both meetings. Who was I dealing with here? Were these two people somehow the same? But then, I met that girl's mom and then they drove off in a car. None of it fit together, and the puzzle jingled in my pocket. All I knew was my stomach felt as though a thunderstorm were brewing there, and my mind reeled as if I was standing on the brink of a huge C++. I was too shaken to know whether I was bewildered, terrified or falling in love. I ran the rest of the way around the lake and up the hill to my house as if fueled by righteous anger.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:59:46 2011 No.7189005 why did this thread turn into a story? can someone explain it? is anybody here at all? what the heck is he even writing about?

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 10:59:46 2011 No.7189006

By the time I got home, the grey morning had fully dawned. I was scheduled to begin my shift in fifteen minutes, but instead I called in late and took a long, hot shower. Warmth seeped back into my bones and I calmed down enough to face the day. When I got to my job my manager gave me a lecture and a warning for coming in late, but the day was good overall. Everybody seemed to be charged with that autumn energy that emanates from the friction of dry leaves as they blow around in piles on the pavement. I couldn't stop revisiting that morning in my mind, playing it over and over, remembering the golden power just under her skin, the exuberant goodwill that I felt from her. On the bus back home I took her puzzle out and set out determinedly to solve the thing.

The rings were connected each to at least two others, and they weren't quite circular. There was also a piece that looked like a bulbous U, prevented from disconnecting with the others by its odd shape. I flipped pieces over and through in many ways but I wasn't able to make a real change in the thing's configuration. I had gotten one of the rings over to a different part of the U and was trying to flip the others around or through it when the bus arrived at my stop. My heart pounded in my ears. I jumped to my feet, shoved the puzzle in my pocket and ran out of the door, making a direct line not for my house but for the lake. If there was any chance at all, I needed to meet her again. The sky darkened and the clouds thickened. Rain began to fall suddenly. I looked up just in time to see a huge black snake head forming amongst the clouds.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:01:46 2011 No.7189012

"HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" it asked.

I ran past the old bathhouse to where I had first seen the little girl. I crossed the line where I had felt the dreamwalking feeling before but I was too excited to notice anything. Panting, I neared the log where I had talked to her and sat down on it myself. The lake was forest green under the clouds and the wind moved the cattails sporadically back and forth, but whoever, whatever it was I had met those times showed no sign of themselves. After a few minutes of growing disappointment, I stumbled down to the lakeside.

"Ummm, hello? Are you there?" I said softly, speaking to the wind and the ripples, hopefully out of earshot of the people on the path behind me and the head in the sky, which the other people didn't seem to notice, nor did they the darkening of the sky. A duck swam by, eyeing me skeptically. "I really want to see you again. This morning..." The wind picked up a bit. A couple leaves floated by, landed in the water. Nothing happened. "Who are you!" I shouted, more loudly than I intended, and my voice broke. I turned and strode back up the hill, the head still glancing ominously at me from its place in the clouds.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:02:46 2011 No.7189014

I was falling in on myself with frustration. Wheels in my mind were turning and grinding without any fruit. I must have looked terrible because everybody on the path seemed to be staring at me. A couple I passed glanced at me and the woman made a whispered remark to the man. When I looked at them they shifted their gaze straight ahead in embarassment. I felt extremely self-conscious and picked up the pace. But as I came to the next bend, who should come walking around the other side than my friend Jenna.

She actually saw me before I saw her. "Hey! Anders!"

I groaned silently. This was not the time for friendly conversation. I knew Jenna from a project I had gone on into the mountains to build trails a few years back. It had been a fantastic trip. In those three weeks, I made some lifelong friends. Normally I would have loved to stop and chat, but I was feeling seriously shaken and bewildered and I wanted to get home. I put on a smile which must have looked slightly strange on my preoccupied face and greeted her. "Hey Jenna, what's up? How are you?"

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:03:46 2011 No.7189017

"Just great! Yeah, I'm almost done for the day so it's lucky I met you. What's up with you?" Jenna was blonde and pretty small, at least compared to me. She had a compact body that went up and down mountains like a goat. But her face was all round lines, bright eyes and a slightly flat nose. She had an infectious, hardy liveliness that often helped me out when I was struggling on the project, but she was often a bit blunt. I liked hanging out with her, especially with a group of other friends but right now I didn't want to deal with her.

"Well, I-.. I .. just got off work and I thought, What a good time for a little stroll. I love the wind this time of year." I was grasping for straws.

"Yeah, me too," she replied. "I go around twice most days, you'd think we'd meet more often." Then she paused for a second and looked at me more closely. My discomfort must have been showing. She started to go on but then stopped again. "Anders, are you okay?"

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:05:46 2011 No.7189020

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm--"

"You look sort of pale. Are you sure?"

"Well, I think I might be coming down with something. I've been sort of hoarse." No lie indeed, my voice sounded like I had just eaten a curry.

"Ok, well, take care of yourself." She made as if to leave, but turned back. "We should really hang out more often, you know. Call me up sometime, maybe we can get everybody together."

"Yeah definitely, that sounds great. WVP represent." I held up my wrist with its nylon cord bracelet and she pulled back her sleeve to show hers. She flashed a smile. She suddenly looked really attractive to me, her small, firm breasts under her jacket and T-shirt complementing her slender but tough frame. Before I could shoo the thought out of my head she stepped close and gave me a quick hug.

I was surprised and ended up giving her the patented pat-on-the-back manhug. I laughed nervously. "Now you've probably got whatever I've got."

"I think I can take it," she said with a grin. She was about to say something else too but I cut her off.

"Hey Jenna, it's been nice seeing you but I've got some stuff to do at home, so.."

"All right, see you later I guess." A hint of disappointment?

"Yeah, definitely," I said. We waved to each other and began to walk away. But she shouted back to me.

"Call me, OK?"

>>	undine !C/kl8M82oE Tue Apr 5 11:05:46 2011 No.7189023 >>7189005 to prevent his kind from knowing the truth >>7188983

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:05:46 2011 No.7189024 BETTER ZUN THAN LEVER

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:05:46 2011 No.7189025 >>7188947 >>7188951 >>7188954 sauce now

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:06:46 2011 No.7189027

The head in the sky had remained silent, but now decided to ask again in a loud booming voice: "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?"

"YES!" she suddenly looked up at the sky and screamed at the head. "How could she have read the Wizard Book? Did she just become aware of the head?" I thought to myself. But there was no time for that. The black head slowly started to descend from the clouds.

"Now look what you did!" I scolded her angrily. The head had now reached an altitude where I could see its menacing grin, and it appeared to shrink to the size of a small car.

"Don't worry," she casually said, suddenly producing a copy of the Wizard Book. "I am a Knight of the Lambda Calculus."

She faced the descending head and held the book with both hands, waiting for its attack. The snake lurched forward, disintegrating into a flurry of glowing parentheses when it hit the book.

"How did you...?" I stuttered. "Because I can. You should just accept everything I say, I don't HAVE to give any reasons for my arguments because I am an EXPERT PROGRAMMER."

I grunted and continued on towards home. I felt unstable at some fundamental level, unable to go back over the conversation and determine how strangely I was acting. Jenna was also acting strange somehow, but I wasn't really able to understand that either. I felt a bit of regret for leaving her so abruptly, so I decided to call her up later. It had been a while since we had seen each other. I just had to get home for the night, have dinner, relax in a warm chair, a warm bed.

Through the whole evening I felt a yearning resonate in me, the memory of that girl harping a deep note on a cello string in my gut. I carried it with me that night into sleep.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:07:46 2011 No.7189028

>>7188967
I guess it's more because you're stupid for thinking this way. Don't you eat meat? Humans got where they are today by harming animals, and they still live at their best when their food comes from the harm of animals, despite what vegetarians would have to believe while hypocritically accepting the principals of evolution.

Now you have to be pretty damn retarded as a human to be on the same intellectual level as any other animal, but when you get to that stage, you no longer deserve to be called human. You can't even comprehend the "sympathies" of the people bleeding their hearts out over you when you are "mistreated" - in reality, they are projecting their own feelings onto the lesser being mistreated, for that lesser being cannot comprehend the situation itself. This goes for animals, of course.

Maybe you could make more of a case for animals that have an intelligence closer to humans, but fucking insects? When they scamper from your killing grasp, do you think that's terror they feel? That's something you are capable of feeling, not them. They are only constructs that are alive and are trying to survive because living constructs that try to survive obviously ARE the ones that continue to live and breed. That's all there is to it, and they really have no sort of feelings to hurt. And most species of life can't even feel pain, nor would the ones that even do feel it to the level humans do.

Really, we should not cater to those so far below us. Human law and human morals should only apply to the life and property of other humans, we have no reason to care for other species aside from this emotional projecting.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:08:46 2011 No.7189029

The sky was light and the wind was blowing early the next morning. I awoke out of a cloud of amazing dreams, which although they all blurred together in my memory had all touched on the fantastic encounter the day before. I sat up in bed. I suddenly realized that I didn't care who or what was in the waters at the lake, I wanted to join it, be a part of it, that I had already fallen in love. The whole mystery that obsessed me yesterday was of no consequence, or rather, now I realized that I needed to fully abandon myself to it rather than solve it.

As this feeling crystallized in my head, quite from nowhere I had a breakthrough concerning the blacksmith's puzzle. I hopped out of my bed and retrieved it out of my pants pocket. I focused on it entirely and unconsciously and although I can't tell you exactly what I did, the steps came clear and unbidden straight to me, and step by step I put the puzzle through its changes. When I was done, the links were still inextricably bound together, but I had been able to break up a large cluster into two symmetrical subunits that were both still linked to the central U. The understanding of the solution slipped away from me as soon as I tried to figure out what I had done. But I was certain what I had to do now.

There was no hurry. My work schedule didn't cross my mind once. I slipped into a new T-shirt, jeans and a jacket and walked straight down to the lake through soggy leaves and brisk fall air. After grabbing a coffee at one of the little stands across the street from the park, I reached the lake and walked towards the bathhouse.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:09:46 2011 No.7189033

I knew as soon as I crossed the line that something was drastically different. Before, walking across the line had been like walking into a dream, and for a little bit when you were inside you forgot what things were part of you and which were not, but the feeling quickly passed. Now it was almost a tangible barrier. I crossed it and felt like I was walking into water, making a splash that sent out ripples in unseen directions. Every step was a push through deep fluid, and as I walked I felt an awareness build up around me, all through every part of the air, the bushes beside me, the path under my feet, and I partook in it as well. Everything around me awoke and became more and more hyperfocused on me. Standing on a hill above the water, I brought my hand out of my pocket and held out the puzzle. I was astonished to see that it was glowing pearly white and frantically going through changes, adding rings, twisting patterns, often in three states at the same time. The world trembled like a wave and the sky glowed twisty purple and I got the impression of two great eyes rising over the horizon, bending distance, pulling me into them.

I spoke and the universe spoke with me: "SHOW ME"

Space came unwound and gushed forth in crazy geometries like jpeg artifacts freed from their picture. I could feel my mind unspooling out of the cramped recursive loops that create consciousness, my mind stretching itself out flat and revealing its fundamental structure. The last sensation I had was a crazy, reckless, righteous elation, expanding to fill all the universe.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:10:46 2011 No.7189035

The sky was light and the wind was blowing early the next morning. My dreams echoed in my head. I had had some huge revelation, but the actual substance of it, as always, faded as I rose into waking consciousness. However, I was tired and the echoes of significance were more pleasant than whatever was waiting for me in the actual world, so I pulled the covers up over my head and tried to coast along in a half-asleep daze for another hour or so as I so often did.

Thoughts of the strange woman who had appeared to me at the lake merged with my dreams and drained right out of my head.

It felt like some time had passed. I looked at the clock and it was 6:45 - still an hour until I had to leave for work. I had time to burn. I turned over and realized I had the biggest case of morning wood in my clinical history as far as I could remember it. I was engorged and thick and I could feel myself powerfully pressing against the mattress. Unconsciously I began to push in and out against the bed, slowly and steadily building up tension, controlling my arousal. I started in on one of my most common fantasies.

Miko stood uncomfortably in her short skirt and blouse in front of her new boss. She was scared and embarassed by the unusual alterations to her body. Her petite breasts were now big and round, with thumb-sized nipples making little tents in her blouse. Her new PENIS was big enough to raise up her skirt and just poke out from under the edge of it. And her belly felt really weird.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:11:46 2011 No.7189038 I am okay with cruelty to animals because we are the dominant species. We should not give a fuck about species below us, no matter how cute they are. This is why I especially support cruelty towards insects.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:12:46 2011 No.7189042

"So you just want me to... pee?" she asked hesitantly.

"That's right, just into this cup," said her boss. "Just try it out."

"All.. All right..." she said. She was flushing a deep red. But suddenly she actually had to pee. It was tough making her muscles relax in front of a strange man, but eventually she could feel the liquid traveling down her PENIS from its base to its tip. It was cold!

Her boss held the cup out and after a couple seconds it filled with a red liquid. "Good job," he said. "Now see what it tastes like!"

She took a sip and it wasn't bitter at all, like urine, it was sweet! It tasted just like cranberry juice!

The scene played itself out in my head like a movie. Usually I can't hold the whole thing in my head, but now it was all there, every little detail. I kept the thrusting slow to keep my climax at bay. I was totally in control.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:14:46 2011 No.7189050

"And if they want ice, you know what to do," her boss said. "Yup," said Miko. She was ready to go on the floor.

The first table had a man and two women, probably a couple and a sister out for a date. She walked up and asked them what they wanted.

"We'll have two cranberry juices and a Pilsner for my sister," the man said. "Just a second," said Miko. She walked over to the man's glass and relaxed her muscles. Nothing happened for a couple seconds, but then her big half-erect PENIS filled with cold juice and out of the tip came a red splash of juice into the cup. Soon it was full. She used her hand to squeeze out the last drops.

"Do you want some ice?" she said. She squatted and pulled her skirt up to reveal her beautiful behind, little pink button right in the center. She pushed and from behind you could see the clear piece of ice, completely clean, squeezing through her butthole, falling into the glass. It was really cold! Two more came out, plop! plop!

She had no idea what they'd done to her gut but it was really weird. She kinda liked it! The whole situation was making her aroused and she was getting really stiff!

I was holding strong and steady. I felt like I could keep going for ages. I let myself come almost to orgasm and then reined myself back in. I wasn't done with this story.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:15:46 2011 No.7189051 >>7188983 Yeah, man! You tell them. Getting a "girlfriend' is so tough. Only the elite pure thoroughbreds like yourself can manage that task. It isn't like the world population is split and there is actually more females born than men!

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:16:46 2011 No.7189057

He slowed down as she spurted and when she was done he sucked the last bit of syrup from her glans. The whole thing had taken around twenty seconds. She wanted to collapse on top of this young man but instead she smiled and said, "Have a nice day sir!" and walked to her next table.

Normally I would have come along with the poor girl in the fantasy, but I found that today the road stretched further into unimaginable heights. I passed the normal point of orgasm and the tension kept building, collecting in my PENIS and all up and down my spinal column like a spring. The good feeling before orgasm collected and built as if in a feedback loop, intensifying past the normal pleasure of ejaculation, towering into a golden frenzy. The fantasy kept on.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:17:46 2011 No.7189058

Miko stood behind a thin plywood wall at the festival outside the cafe with plugs in her ears. Passers-by looking at the wall would see a painted picture of a woman at the beach, but Miko's gigantic, creamy naked breasts stuck out from two holes in the wood through the torso of the painted woman's svelte swimsuited figure. Miko's erect PENIS stuck out incongruously and egregiously through another hole in the wall, not lining up in any aesthetic way with the woman's body. Miko couldn't see if anybody was looking. Her PENIS hardened further and she flushed bright red, knowing that everybody could see her most private parts but nobody knew it was her. A minute passed in electrically charged silence. Because of her earplugs, she didn't know whether there was a crowd out there or anybody at all. Suddenly she felt a hand grab her left breast. She drew in a sharp intake of breath. Whoever it was began to knead it slowly. She arched her back in arousal, and imported German beer sprayed out from her nipples. Then she felt the tongue on the head of her cranberry-red PENIS...

I came. In fact I came and came. It was glorious. After around fifteen seconds my underwear were filled with spooge. I had to hop quickly out of bed before it soaked through and stained the sheets. In the bathroom, I slid the wet underwear off of my body and stepped into the shower. My pubic hair was matted pearly-white and my PENIS was still half hard. I washed myself off and my underwear too for good measure. The shower felt really good, and by the time I was done I was sure I was going to be late for work. But after I toweled myself off, I rushed to the clock and it was only 7:30. Just enough time!

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:19:46 2011 No.7189059

I threw on some clothes, grabbed some change, and ran down to the bus.

Since I work downtown, the bus ride takes up to an hour. I usually either try to sleep or bring a paper to read on the way. Today I felt so fresh and awake that I didn't even need reading material. I hopped onto the bus and sat down in the front.

I always love taking furtive looks at my fellow passengers on the bus. It's one of the few public spaces where people sit down near each other and actually feel comfortable carrying on conversations, reading their books, doing homework. I try to figure out their favorite authors, what subjects they're studying, what patches they have on their backpacks. But the bus is also a difficult place to start a conversation with someone: it gets awkward talking to a perfect stranger after about five minutes, and then you're just staring at each other for the rest of the ride, the ice having been broken but neither person having a good idea what to say. So people generally make little comments about the weather and stay in their pretended privacy, as if they weren't squinched into a narrow seat between a ponderous juggalo and an elderly woman who smells of cat food.

Today the bus was mostly empty. Two or three middle-aged women in sweatsuits. A nervous man with a sport coat and tie. A South Asian couple, probably high school age, linked arms, the girl immersed in her cell phone and the boy looking out the window. The bus stopped at the primary school and instead of the usual gaggle of six-year-olds tied up with string, on walked a young woman. My heart skipped a beat.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:19:46 2011 No.7189060 File: 50 KB, 548x375, poppy1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7189051 >more females born than men But that's wrong, you idiot. Men just die more.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:21:46 2011 No.7189065

She was the spitting image of Miko from my uniquely well-realized fantasy. Half East Asian, half caucasian, nervous, naive features, and beautiful large soft round breasts, cradled in a fuzzy blue sweater. She looked flushed, as if she had run to catch the bus, and she had dark circles under her eyes. She sat down on my side of the bus, one seat between us. I forgot to breathe, let alone to worry about her noticing my unabashed ogling. But amazingly, nobody seemed to see either of us, and she seemed to be too exhausted to register my presence. I mastered myself, but not before I stole a curious gaze at the crotch of her blue jeans. There wasn't any sign of a gigantic PENIS. I don't know whether I was relieved or disappointed.

A short while later, the bus had stopped at a traffic light outside of the cemetary when all of a sudden this huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes pops through the window and screams loudly "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" I ran off the bus as quickly as possible; the snake head was now chasing me around as I ran among the tombstones, searching for something that I felt instinctive to. Suddenly I stopped and walked to a particular tombstone. On it was inscribed the huge letter Lambda, and underneath was written

HERE LIES THE CORPSE OF GERALD JAY SUSSMAN HE READ HIS SICP, HAVE YOU?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:21:46 2011 No.7189066 >>7189060 51% males are born compared to 49% females on average. It's because of the Y chromosome that we swim faster (it weighs less than the X chromosome).

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:22:46 2011 No.7189069

"Use this," I heard a voice from behind me say. I turned around to see her standing there, holding a copy of SICP. Instinctively I took it from her and placed it in front of the tombstone. We both crouched down and held each other, singing the SICP theme song and a short prayer.

Once we had finished, I looked at her and the book resting on the tombstone, then back at the bus; the snake head was no longer there. "You? You were that snake?" I asked dubiously. "Yes. I am glad that my master The Sussman has now had a proper finish to his recursive tail-call. And now I shall go join him. Thank you for assisting me to reach Satori." I noticed behind closed eyelids a light getting brighter. Gently I disengaged and looked into her face. Her entire body was glowing softly. I released her and, where I had been touching her, where her breasts had been squished against my shirt, my clothes and skin glowed for a moment, then quickly faded. She placed her hand on my shoulder and brought my head down to give me a light kiss on the forehead. Then she turned towards the lake, looking over her shoulder at me. She began to evaporate into those same glowing parentheses.

"SNAKE? SNAKE!? SNAAAAAAAAAAKE?!?!"

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:23:46 2011 No.7189071 No one cares any more. Stop posting.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:23:46 2011 No.7189074

In a matter of seconds all traces of her had vanished, leaving only the purple book next to the tombstone. I was alone. I picked it up and walked back to the bus stop. Once I got home, I put the book on my shelf next to my box set of TaoCP and K&R, sat down at the computer, and went to img.4chan.org/b/.

"Miko stood uncomfortably in her short skirt and blouse in front of her new boss. She was scared and embarassed..." I typed into the comment field. Another epic IRL adventure I'd share with /b/, I thought to myself.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:25:46 2011 No.7189080 "... it was sweet! It tasted just like cranberry juice!" I finished my post and clicked Submit.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:26:46 2011 No.7189084 '"And if they want ice, you know what to do," her boss said...' I continued typing out the next few posts.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:27:46 2011 No.7189089 This was all... I mean, it was rather silly.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:28:46 2011 No.7189091 Several dozen posts later, I finished the last words to my adventure: "Several dozen posts later, I finished the last words to my adventure:"

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 11:31:46 2011 No.7189102 >>7188956 >That's like saying that a mentally retarded human should be killed. Yeah, I'm actually in favor of this. Retards are just dangerous animals,in fact they may be the most dangerous

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