/lit/ - Literature

>pick up new fantasy novel
>it has a map of the world
>every chapter starts with a quote

I vividly remember the day I lost my faith in God and in anything beyond materialism. It was a deep horror unlike anything I had felt before. The entire world came down in pieces.
It all happened because I read about heat death on TV Tropes. Something in my mind just broke and I started becoming aware of the fact that everything dies and ends. And one day I will just die forever.
It made me go crazy with fear. For the first time in my life I understood the irreversible nature of the world.
The next day my uncle started rambling about the same things I had realized the day before. There's no god, there's no afterlife, all that we have is here, and is slipping away.
It was as if life wanted to really hammer it down. The more I learned of the world from that day onward only made it more terrible.
It was also my few final months of high school. I experienced first hand my fears as I realized them: that time moves on and people disappear from your life forever, that your life changes without you having a saying in it, that every day that passes a door closes and never opens again.
I have fading memories, collections of moments I'd give anything to live through once again. A deep longing that will never be satisfied, a truly impossible wish. And as time goes on, more and more things will fade into painful, bittersweet memories.
Everything is hopeless, but I cherish every single moment.