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/lit/ - Literature

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>> No.17661741 [View]
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17661741

>This was for a satire project in my creative writing class
>cons: pure unadulterated deadline meeting cringe
>pros: redditors BTFO


Whole
------------------

I am Homo Sapiens
The Wise Man
I am the pinnacle of reason and logic
Not a pawn of religious dogma
Not a victim of superstitious fallacy
I am free to think
I strive to know
In this moment I am euphoric
Not due to a false deity’s blessing.
But because I am enlightened by my own intellect.
R’amen.

“Thank you class,” Mr. Huxley turned on the iTeach. Images of religious icons, valiant knights slashing infidels, and Christians burning Beatles records were casted around the room. “Who can remind me what we went over last class?” A usual hand lazily rose up.
“Yes Cameron?”
“The atrocities committed by Christianity.”
“Okay, can you give me an example?”
“Existing.”
The class snickered.
“Yes very eloquent sir, I’m sure your great grandfather would be very proud.”
Cameron prided himself with the fact that his last name was Dawkins, and would never fail to remind his peers that he was a direct descendent of the anointed Richard, despite any proof. Most people went along with it even though they assumed he was probably full of shit. Talbot placed him among the upper rungs of things he hated most.
Mr. Huxley paced about the room. “Okay, anyone else?” A wall of hands rose.
“The Crusades!”
“Proposition 8!”
“The Spanish inquisition!”
“The Holocaust!”
“Fox News!”
“World War III!”
“Westboro Baptist Church!”
“Good one! We never went over that!” The professor applauded. “Tina, what can you tell the class about Westboro?”
Tina’s ditsy eyes rolled up to the ceiling as if they were lost magnets. “Umm so basically Westboro was like this church in Kansas that was started by this bad family that would like go around protesting gay people and soldier’s funerals and stuff, saying it was like their fault God was punishing the world or whatever.”
“Well how about that?” said Huxley to the class. “Just imagine going to a funeral of a close relative, who died over seas fighting for your country, or happened to love ‘the wrong way’, just to have a bunch of god-fearing hicks come from nowhere and picket it in the name of their so called “loving god.’” Talbots hand shot up.
“Nice of you to participate for once Mr. Talbot, what would you like to add?”
“Westboro didn’t actually believe everything they said. It was just a giant scam.”
“How do you mean?”
“The Phelps were all a bunch of lawyers. They went around antagonizing people and when they retaliated Westboro would sue them for infringing their right of speech. They were literally just a family of trolls.” The class jeered and laughed.

Cont.

>> No.17370506 [View]
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17370506

>>17369863
>I'm a social engineer

>> No.15837752 [View]
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15837752

>>15837561
t.

>> No.14017080 [View]
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14017080

>>14015164

>> No.12407649 [View]
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12407649

>>12397492

>> No.12242474 [View]
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12242474

>>12242340

>> No.11589512 [View]
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11589512

>>11589470
>Religious questions are not scientific questions. If you want to start bringing scientific standards of reason and evidence into the debate, I think it will not come out looking so good for Christianity.

>> No.9454716 [View]
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9454716

>therefore

>> No.9404659 [View]
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9404659

>>9404138

>> No.9034505 [View]
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9034505

>>9034307

>> No.9033743 [View]
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9033743

>>9028390
>>9028664
>>9028667
>>9028745
>>9030424

>> No.8392632 [View]
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8392632

>>8392057

you mean Harry Potter and the School of Neckbeard?

fo sho I dug it

>> No.7907436 [View]
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7907436

>>7907165
No, fuck you, pretentious elitist scum.

>> No.7858320 [View]
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7858320

>>7858184
>If you can't even self-sacrifice to buy a top-tier product for your craft, you've lost the game even before the first half started.

>> No.7443644 [View]
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7443644

>>7443637

>> No.7127510 [View]
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7127510

>>7127392

>Gentilemanliness
>Top Kek.

>> No.7056913 [View]
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7056913

>>7056909

>> No.7027848 [View]
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7027848

>>7027395

>> No.7020709 [View]
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7020709

>I unironically started with the Greeks

>> No.6999070 [View]
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6999070

>I read for the prose

>> No.6980831 [DELETED]  [View]
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6980831

>all men are created equal

>> No.6971331 [View]
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6971331

>>6971321
>I countermeme memes

>> No.6774436 [View]
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6774436

Rock music? Ha! What's next, are you going to tell me that negro jungle rhythms ("Jazz," if you will) are high art? I only listen to superior, European music. Mozart, Beethoven, the list could go on...

>> No.6769344 [View]
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6769344

>>6769247
/pol/ is "red pilled" in the same way a typical fedora-wearing atheist on the internet is an "intellectual".

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