/lit/ - Literature

>>19632973
Not much to talk about. I was a professional player of League of Legends, playing for a team in my country's league.
I failed to join any team in the LEC (European first league) although I almost managed to get into one. My team began to decline. I was making less and less money and the responsibilities of real life began. I had less and less time to play and when you can't spend every free minute playing and thinking about the game, you're stagnating or even declining. Then my dad got sick and I needed to help him, and went into early retirement.

Now my brother is constantly telling me about the game, he met a scout, told him about me, they want to take me on a trial period as a second midlaner (on of the positions in the game, my main position) to a team in my country's league, for some cheap amount. The first midlaner will be leaving soon and if I turn out to be good and not a rusty old dumbass, we will sign a new contract and I will become their main midlaner.

But I feel anxious. I can't even think about the game or look at league of legends without feeling abdominal and chest pains. I cannot go back.

Why is there no good literature anymore?
My personal feeling is that humanity is spiritually dead and that history indeed ended when the USSR fell.

>want to play a video game, haven't played any in some time
>know you must read and write instead or you're not gonna make it
I must sacrifice all cheap pleasure in the name of art.

I want to commit suicide so much I just had a dream about it.
Are there any books on the topic of suicide? Other than no longer human.

>>18870904
The Parable of the Prodigal Son.

No matter how you fuck up, no matter what you do, you can always go back. There is always hope, always something for you, around the corner. You can go to God, and He will accept you as your son.
It's beautiful, romantic. Peak beauty.

>friend writes garbage fan fiction
>doesn't want to git gud

>see people online bragging how they write 1k words daily
>you write max 200 when having a good day and you're focused
>realise they just write down whatever they think about because everything will be edited anyway
>you think 10 times before writing a word and try to do it as beautiful as possible on your first try

>your book is sad as fuck
>makes you depressed every time you write it because the main character suffers
How do I fix this? How could greatest writers write existential books without feeling miserable?