/lit/ - Literature

>>19775249
suggestions on lines that dont go well
>No longer yellow,
not yellow
>Is closer to dwelling
is dwelling
>Bring even more sharpness
bring sharpness to (removing the to from the line below so its 3 syllables like "it must convey")
>Hot coffee now faster turns cold,
hot coffee now turns cold faster (i dont know why you didnt opt for this when it rhymes with above line)
>>19776301
>din
from the din?
>The silence so complete?
silence so complete
>How do I get relief
how do i relieve myself
>From hearing my own heart
of hearing...
>I hear
>when I cover my ears?
"i hear" could be in the above line or a line on its own like i did
>There truly is no hiding
there's truly no...
>How deafening
>The silence is.
pretty sure i heard this before
>>19778135
>Attached as some bloodsucking
>Parasite,
id get rid. and also everything after
>Take permanently as a home.

she wolf part could be another poem. might be better to keep the setting the same. more descriptions, less adjectives back to back and melodrama
>Rot, decay and filth!
>Let
>What furie’s forced me here?
>some even
>>19778149
nice pic. ABBA poems are always off to me
>a small wind howls
id write "small winds howl" (itd rhyme with owl better too)
>fireflies light
firefly light
>>19775193
>clearness
dont like. maybe something with a single syllable. the rest i like best
>>19774469
interesting. i really like "what a funny feeling"
i really like my version, what say u?
>I can't solve anything with words
>I can't solve anything that's worth
>anything to me.

>there is a sound
>as God opens up
>my bedroom door.

>I am laying on the floor,
>I can't move anymore,
>what a funny feeling.
(first stanza could be at the end)
>>19774446
great. consider with a grain of salt to make the syllable count match in both stanzas like
>and when im sad i say
>this time i might do it
>>19772411
great. might save
>golden ocean, endless prairie
switch places so rhymes are back to back instead of ABA. otherwise B (ocean) sounds unmatched

What if you get a book published under a pseudonym, and the book becomes a big success? How hard/easy would it be to remain anonymous, given that the publisher knows your real name due to legal reasons?

Toilet roll; not the fanciest of brands nor is it very soft- I bought it in bulk because I'm autistic and like organizing things and reducing my need to leave my home to get necessities. I got sent to prison as a young man for being a little shit and ever since then I've been unable to abide soft toilet roll. The stuff just feels like wiping with a silk pillowcase, very bizarre feeling.

How's that you weirdo?