/lit/ - Literature

"I understand what you mean" said the wife. Later on, the wife went into labour and they could not be happier, but something goes very wrong. Little do they know, the Parasitica soliders was approaching slowly but surely. After the baby was born, the newborn baby looked at it's mother and it's father for the first time and the gleam in his eye could tell that it was happy to see them.
"So, haven't you thought of a name yet?" asked the wife
"Not yet. But don’t worry. When I find one, you won’t be able to refuse." said the elder confidently. After a moment, the door broke in a loud blast and men started to run in from out of nowhere
"Elder of Lesogenias, your time has come to rue the day that you stole our glory" said a masked solider while a big flashing light came from behind him . The Elder started to whimper and flinch but at that moment a blinding light surrounded the room for a few seconds but when the room started to regain shape, the Elder was intact and the soldiers were gone but a fate worse than death had occurred at that moment. He looked down and his wife was lying on the floor, he quickly jumped off the bed and rushed to her aid.
"Erin?... Erin?" The wife did not answer but at that moment, her hand, which was on her chest, fell to the floor and there was no sign of life, she had sacrificed her life to save the Elder's.
"ERIN!!!!!!!!"he started shouting and weeping over the death of his bride. He noticed the baby was crying as well, so he went over to him and said
"Do not cry, little one, I know you will grow up to be the man I thought you would be... I still need a name". And so, after a long decision of names, he chose to name him Leo.
Chapter 1: The Legend's Awakening
(Note from OP: this part is actually a little cleaned up since I don't have the unedited version, but I'll try to duplicate the mistakes I have annotated as correcting. I stopped trying to fix this terrible story around where he says he will get revenge)

20 years have passed since that fateful day.
"Leo, come down for a second, I have something for you." shouted the Elder.
Leo, who was once a tiny baby but is now a charming young mancame through the door, wearing the uniform of a working man.
"What do you want, father?" asked Leo [adjective].
“This family heirloom has been passed down from generation to generation. I have been saving it for a special occasion, and there is none more special than your 20th birthday". The Elder handed Leo a box.
Leo tore away the ribbon and opened the box to reveal a strange, dusty medallion which was like an Aztec calendar.
"What is it?" Leo asked.
"When the time is right, you will understand." said the Elder.
"…thanks, father." said Leo while putting it around his neck.
"Listen, Leo…” The Elder said.
“there is something I've been meaning to ask you for some time, now." says the Elder.
"What is it, father?" said Leo.
"Before you were born, there was a lot of rough times hanging on to history bound, and your mother was slain in a terrible attack, which my heart and enhanced my hatred for the Parasitic. But those days are over. We lost the war, and the only thing I had left... was you." said the Elder.

"So the Parasitica are the ones behind this abomination?" Leo yelled.
"Yes, but I have not heard from them ever since that accident 20 years ago." said the Elder.
Leo paused and looked at his father holding his head in his hands on the table.
"Well... I'd best be off now. I'll see you later."
"Where are you going?" said the Elder.
"Just... out." he said.
"OK then, but try not to get into trouble this time! I remember the last time I had to bail your ass out of a lot of trouble with the law…".
Leo winced, remembering it well: he had gotten into fisticuffs with a rogue Parasitican, and the Elder had to fine him.

"I promise that won’t happen again. if I do get into trouble, you won’t need to bail me out…I'll take extra care this time!" said Leo.
"Okay then…take care…" said the Elder. Leo walked out the door and started to walk up the pavement. Leo starts to think about everything he was told "Hmmm, if the Parasitica are making the trouble around here, and father has no strength left, it looks like it's up to me to take them down, I will get them back for my mother's death, the destruction of our colony".
He shouted "I WILL GET REVENGE!!!!". His slow pace went faster and slowly turned into a run, and thus, he began his long journey for his tribe's freedom.

(NB. I stopped proofreading this and gave up at exactly the point this post begins.)

Leo had fire in his eyes which blinded him mercilessly but when he had finally calmed down, he saw an unfamiliar background, covered in trees which made him overwhelmed. He continued on through the overwhelming wilderness but he stopped in his tracks to look at the medallion and try and find out what was so mysterious about it
"I wonder what this medallion does that can help me?" he questioned himself. At that moment, two people wearing red bandanas and wearing some strange insignia around their necks had started to walk past him but when they notice the medallion, they start to mutter something to each other. Leo had looked across to them discretly but they had stopped talking when he looked. The men start to talk
"Hey, where did you get that medallion from?" said the mysterious man
"What does it matter to you, huh?" snapped Leo in defence
"Well, we need it, so kindly hand it over and we wont make any trouble" said the other man

"No, this medallion is a heirloom, I wouldn't give it to scum like you" said Leo. Leo started to advance through the strange woodland scenary but danger was not too far behind as the two men start to follow. Leo started to get faster to escape but it failed to lose them, Leo then started to run as fast as he could and it looked like he was losing them. He suddenly came to a stop and it looked like the men were gone, but then he suddenly felt a hand sneak up on his shoulder and reach for his neck, Leo quickly jumps to the side to see that the men were still there
"Listen, this is your last warning kid, hand it over" said the man. Leo had decided to give in but as he had the medallion in his hand, a gunshot came from afar
"What the hell was that?" Leo said in shock, but as he turned back, he saw that the men were dead on the floor, they have been shot. Just then, a strange, calm voice came from out of nowhere
"Are you alright now?" said the mysterious voice
"Hmmm, i'm alrite, where are you, show yourself" said Leo

Just then, a old looking man had jumped out from behind a rock in between him and the rotting courpses on the floor. The old man was wearing a white suit with slacks. His eyes held enough wisdom to teach even the greatest of disciples. He looked about 60 years or older.
"Who are you?" said the old man kindly
"My name is Leo... and you are?" asked Leo
"Oh right, the name's Enciel, but my friends call me Enc"
"Nice to make your aquaintance Enc, but who were those men you saved me from?" asked Leo
"Rogues from Parasitica, they are vicious creatures, who will stop at nothing to find that medallion you wear around your neck" said Enc
"What is so good about this medallion" asked Leo
"The medallion is a key to their weakness, they fear the medallion and want it destroyed, and will kill anyone who gets in their way" said Enc
"So this little thing can be the thing that takes out their entire society? asked Leo, in great relish
"Yes, tell you what, I'll come with you, I know where to go to get out of here and into civilisation again, come on, i'll lead the way" said Enc
Leo followed Enc across the trail and set forward to the horizon.

Chapter 2: The Unexpected Event

As Leo and Enc make it out of the woods, literally, they wind up in a little village which was on the borderline between Lesogenias and Parasitica.
"Where are we?" asked Leo
"We are in Lazeria, the borderline village that intersects with both cities, if you ask me, I think we should get a hotel and rest our heads for a moment or two" said Enc
"I suppose you're right" Leo said, while sighing because he secretly wanted to get it over with and kill them all in one day's work. After they look around for a few minutes, A young woman appears around the corner who was working on a shop window. She was quite pretty and was wearing a uniform, similar to Leo's old one, and some overalls which must've been the sign of work in this village. She looked about 20 years old. She started to shout to Leo and Enc
"Hey, you guys, just come over here for a short moment, I need to ask you something" said the woman in a strange, yet convincing way
"Yeah, what do you want of us?" said Leo in a exasperated and annoyed manner
"I was just wondering if you have seen these people" said the woman, holding a piece of paper with a picture on it
"Nope, I never seen them before, sorry" said Leo
"Wait a minute, you look strangely familiar, have we already met somewhere?" asked the woman

"I dont think so, see you around" said Leo. As Leo and Enc turned their backs, she started to have a flashback, which resembled her childhood. There was flames on the ground and smoke in the sky and in the middle was two men, laughing like a sinister homicidal maniac. In the fire was a courpse of an old woman and man who had burned to her death. To the side was a scared, little child who was crying and shivering, this little girl must've been the woman but many years younger.
The woman returned to her body and shouted to Leo and Enc
"Now I remember you, you are the ones who killed my mother, are'nt you?" asked the woman, but before they can answer, she started to shout
"YOU KILLED THEM, YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!!!". After she finished her sentence, Leo and Enc started to run, but they were caught by some of the elite sergents of the village and they were taken away to a building that looked gloomy and mysterious.

>In a time that is quite far off, when the ruins and relics of our worlds are in eternal slumber, a new set of worlds plaster our galaxy, but that is not til later, our story begins with a colony known as the Lesogenias.

What.
Why tell me about planets and shit then.
I stopped there.

When they came to the grand door and Leo and Enc were taken inside and was sent down to the basement where the most dangerous criminals are kept in solitary confinement and are forgotten about.
"Well, you guys have been hiding for sometime now, at long last we managed to get you, and soon we will" said the officer, after they were gone, Leo and Enc started to talk to each other for the first time in half an hour
"What do you think he meant when he said soon you will be?" asked Leo
"I dunno but it obviously sounds no good for me nor you" said Enc
"Listen Enc, why did you insist to come with me?" said Leo
"Well, to tell you the truth, I was lonely and lost without my old team, which I lost after I retired" said Enc
"What did you do before you were retired?" asked Leo
"I shouldn't say but to be honest, I'm not surprised that I have ended up in here" said Enc
"How come? Were you a criminal or something?" asked Leo

>>1333685
Yeah, I've posted this across a few boards and most people seem to give up on the first sentence. Amazing.

--

"Moreorless... I used to be a leader for something like a mafia" said Enc
"So... You were known as Don Enciel?" asked Leo
"Yes, I felt more than remorseful when I had to send some men to kill someone or steal something, I never felt good about it..." said Enc
"But anyway, enough about me, what about you?" Leo started to shake under the frightening gaze that he was giving him
"Well, I am the son of an elder of a colony called Lesogenias, anyway, I ran away from home to fight the Parasitica warriors because I know that my father would not agree with the idea with me rebelling against Parasitica because he worries about me too much" said Leo
"I never trusted that woman we met this morning, but I wonder who she was" said Leo, with a small sign of anger and confusion
"Well, I think she looked illuminous, she may be delusional but she sure made me smile" said Enc with a sense of weakness for his attraction, Leo seemed to take none of it, he jumped from his seat and moved close to him in anger.
"Listen Enc, if you have the eye for all crazy people we come across, we will never get anywhere" but soon enough, Leo calmed down
"Anyway, it looks like we wont come out of here alive" Leo said. At that moment, the officer came back and said

>>In a time that is quite far off, when

First impression is unfavorable, but I'll continue for shits and giggles.

"Well, I hope you are enjoying your last moments, your fate will be decided in a moment, i'll be back in an hour or two while I talk to the council on your behalf" said the officer, after a moment, he walked away from the cell that Leo and Enc were put in at least 4 hours ago.
"What are we going to do, if we are killed, we will have no one to finish our work" said Leo in a mild panic
"I know, I regret having consulting this village, it is obviously a dangerous place" said Enc in a panic. Leo started to run in circles as he started to have a breakdown. After he decided to calm down, he accidently tripped, and to his luck, he broke a piece of the wall which proved that the wall was weak. Enc had an idea and got the hatstand from the corner and rammed into the wall, braking the wall with a big bang which made the other prisoners jump up in startle.
"That was a good idea, we might've found a secret escape, let's go" said Leo in a whisper. Through the secret door was nothing but pitch black and a few bats that hang from the ceiling but there was no light to even see their hands in front of their faces. They followed the trail that they cannot see but there was a light at the end of the passageway, which either means they are dead or just found their escape.
"Get ready Leo, there could be some people behind the door, ready to lynch us when we walk through"

"Oh, I never thought of that, we better take it in slow steps then" said Leo. As they walked through the door, they appeared in a white coated room which was empty, they thought they were safe but this was nothing they were expecting to see.
"Wow, this room is quite spacious, we better look around while we are here" said Enc. As they looked around, Leo opened the drawers to reveal some articles about the conflict that happened 20 years ago, Enc opened the wardrobe to reveal some dresses and casual clothes which gave them the impression of the room belonging to a woman.
Soon enough, they heard some footsteps coming up some stairs
"Leo, run and hide somewhere" said Enc in a panic as he hid in the wardrobe, Leo hid behind the shelves on the wall which made him invulnerable to the naked eye, unless they looked very closely. A woman came and opened the door with a newspaper in one hand and a cup of latte in the other, she put down the stuff on the desk close to the window which she likes to look through and daydream. The woman went to the wardrobe which made Leo worried when he watched from behind her back, Enc started to hear her footsteps coming slowly to the wardrobe but when she came to the wardrobe, Leo started to feel a sneeze coming and tryed to keep it in, but he accidently let it out louder than expected. The woman jumped up and shouted

"Who's there? Show yourself", Leo slowly raised his head in a frown and jumped from behind the shelves. When they laid eyes on each other, they both shouted
"You again?". It was the woman who got them arrested.
"I thought you were dead" she said
"Well, may I just say that we are innocent" said Leo
"We?" she asked
"Yes, my friend Enc is hiding in the wardrobe, Enc, come out of there" said Leo. Enc slipped out of the wardrobe with the same frown that Leo had on his face.
"Listen, I think I may know who is the culprit here" Leo said
"Yeah? Who?" she asked
"The Parasitica tribe, they kill anyone who get in their way, they must've met with your parents and killed them unmercifully" Enc explained
"Well... I know I may regret it but... I believe you, these Parasinicas killed my brother 3 years ago"
"Well, we are going to their terms to fight them on their own ground" said Leo
"Then, why dont I come with you? And don't worry, I am not a burden, but don't take it personal but I still find it hard to trust you guys, but still, I just think you're strange" she said while giggling

How did you get 4 pages into this? I stopped after the first confused sentence.

"haha... Very funny, what's your name? We can't keep calling you thing all the time" said Leo sarcastically
"Oh, my name's Emmy" she said
"Well, nice to meet you Emmy" said Enc, interupting her.
"Well, lets get back to buisness" said Leo. As they walked out of the building, they looked back on it and left again. They walked back to the village and found their way to the other end. They set off again, and continued their journey for the freedom of Lesogenias.

Chapter 3: The City of Angels

With Emmy on the team, the journey will run more smoother than usual. Enc is finding it hard to concentrate with Emmy next to him, because he seems to have attractive feelings for her while Leo still can't trust her after their last encounter.
"Well, I'm not sure on where we are going from here on, as far as I know, we are just walking around in full circles, but still, what do I know about travelling?" Enc said
"Don't worry Enc, I go up this road on a monthly basis, so I must know where to go"

>>1333700
With much difficulty.

--

"OK then, I trust you know your way" said Enc, letting out a great sigh of affection. After a few minutes of silence, Leo heard a slight rumble in his pocket, it was his pocket messenger getting a new message. It said
"Dear Leo,
I haven't seen you in a few weeks, I assume your doing something worth your while, but don't worry, I will trust you. Please hurry back, the people of Lesogenias are steadily awaiting your return. The Elder.
P.S: I just gotten word that Parasiticans are grouping around so please stay out of trouble.
"It's from my father back in Lesogenias, he said that Parasiticans are grouping in a few areas so we might want to keep our eyes open for anything dangerous" said Leo to the other two. They started to walk on but not far from them, a young, suspicious man was waiting for them to cross, he obviously was plotting a misdeed against them. Leo's medallion started to change it's jewel colour from Ruby to Amethyst in a few seconds, but Leo hasn't got any clue to why it changed colour, it seemed like it was trying to communicate with them.
"How come the medallion changed colour all of a sudden?" asked Leo confused and ambitious about the answer he would get but sadly, no one knew, it had never done that before. As they tried to figure it out, something strange had happened, the medallion started to glow and the sky turned pitch black.

>>1333685
>our story begins with a colony known as the Lesogenias
>The story begins when the Elder of Lesogenias

Okay, so I already knew that the story began when I started reading it, but the guy felt that he needed to tell me twice more just to make sure that I knew that I was reading.

"What is happening?" said Leo
"Don't worry Emmy, i'll save you" said Enc ambitiously
"Owww, Enc, it's me, Leo, let me go" said Leo trying to break free of his hold on his arm
"I'm over here guys, feeling a little lost, are we?" Emmy said in a cocky voice and in a cocky attitude
"No... We knew that" said Enc with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. After a moment, the sky went back without warning and left them temporarily blinded.
"My eyes... I can't see a thing, so blurry" said Enc
"I can only see little outlines and very blurry grey dots" said Leo
"I wonder what happened" said Emmy in a confused tone. In their point of view, the sunlight had damaged their eyes
"Wait a minute, what is that?" asked Leo, who was thinking he was hallucinating when all of a sudden, he was being pulled by the arms and legs and being carried away without seeing where they were going. After they stopped dragging Leo, two others were dragging Enc and Emmy behind him. Their sights went back to normal but all they saw was some mysterious men with wings and massive chests that were staring back at them.
"Who are you people?" shouted Leo. A big chested man, with wings had stepped forward and started to gaze, without blinking, at the medallion that Leo was wearing around his neck

"Dont fear us, we merely just summoned you here to take back that medallion that you stole from us" said the mysterious creature as it grooms it's wings
"I think not" said Leo while laughing under his breath
"Then we'll take it from you" said the mysterious creature as he drew its sword from thin air, and behind the creature, the others drew their swords in the same manner as the leader.
The fight was set but the bad thing is that the only weapon that the team have, is Emmy's gun.
"Ok Le'shawn'ee, that is enough, that is no way to treat our guests" said a mysterious, heavenly voice that was coming from behind them. At that moment, a woman pushed a few of the men out of the way to get to the front, to where the team and Le'shawn'ee was. She had illuminating beauty and glowed a bright aura in her wings, she must have been the leader of the strange race.
"Milady, I thought you were gone for good" said Le'shawn'ee
"No no, someone tried to lock me in an empty room with a beast he decided to summon against me" she said while gazing angrily at Le'shawn'ee, Le'shawn'ee tried to back away slowly from her but he was stopped by the others and pushed back to where he started
"I'm... sorry" said Le'shawn'ee in fear. Leo started to whisper to Enc and Emmy
"What just happened? This Le'shawn'ee guy was acting tough on us but when that woman came in, he suddenly turned into a wuss" said Leo in a whisper

"Maybe he fears her for some reason, anyway, we can't give up now, we must finished what we were put on this world to do" said Emmy. Leo suddenly interupted their obsessive arguing
"Hey, what do you want with us?" shouted Leo. The woman took a glimpse of the medallion and said
"So you are the chosen one?"
"What is the chosen one?, I have some errands to take care of, you know" said Leo in an annoyed manner
"The chosen one is the one who carries one of the 4 medallions of the world, the prophecy said that some people are going to find them all and pretty soon, the darkness will suffer" she said
"Medallions of the world?... Darkness will suffer?... I dunno what you mean" said Enc in a confused way
"You may not know yet, but when the time comes, you'll know" said the woman. Le'shawn'ee got impatient and drew his sword again
"Enough talk, I'm gonna wipe the floor with your blood" said Le'shawn'ee in a fury
"Calm down Le'shawn'ee, or do I have to tazer you again" said the woman
"Sorry, milady" said Le'shawn'ee in a scared manner
"You guys, come up to the temple with me for a second, I have to show you something" said the woman
"Sure miss..." said Enc
"Oh right, my name is Pagzagana, I am the princess of this entire city of angels" said Pagzagana. After Pagzagana had finished introducing herself, she led the team up to the temple-like building that was up a snowy cloudlike hill. The rest of the creatures stayed where they are.

"Where exactly are we?"asked Leo while taking long strides in ambition
"This is the sky city of Efva or else known as the City of Angels. We are off the map because we are above your world, so it's like your worlds heaven" Pagzana said while giggling. When they reached the temple, it resembled the shape of a gazebo that you can find in many gardens. On the inside, there was not much to see except a decrypted tome that looked like it had been there for many generations, it was that which Pagzagana had brought them up to see.
"Read this passage out loud" Pagzagana said and Leo, Enc and Emmy all started to read it out loud, it said
"When the darkest day comes to overcome the sky, as an apocalypse threatens the world and it's civilians, a large group of heroes from the world below will gather the 4 medallions of the world and the darkness will suffer"
"Are we the chosen ones? The ones will restore peace in the world?" asked Enc
"Yes, and I have been waiting for so long to help the heroes of the world" said Pagzagana
"Hold on, wait a minute, if it is only Parasitica we are after, why is the world in danger?" asked Leo confused in so many ways
"I can't tell such information but when the time is right, it will fall on you as strong as a gail force" said Pagzagana. At that moment, they heard a very faint cry from a distance.
"What was that?" said Emmy, closing the old tome and taking it off the pedestal it rested on

"I don't know but it sounded like it was coming from the left hand side of the temple" said Enc trying to act smart. Another cry came through but there was still no clue to where it was coming from.
"Maybe... it's a ghost" said Leo making a joke but Emmy, who is deathly afraid of ghosts and anything paranormal, jumped up and ran
"Is... Is there really a.... a... a ghost?" asked Emmy but when she said it, everyone started to stare at her and she felt a bit embarrased
"I mean... Is there any ghosts in here" Emmy said with confidence in her voice
"No, in my recent years in this temple, I have not yet encountered such a thing... but it sounded like it was coming from over there" said Pagzana pointing at the left corner of the temple where some shelves were stacked up against the great white wall of the temple. They went to investigate around that side of the temple and saw something very wierd, some string tied in a knot, that was coming from below the floor. The four of them worked together to lift the floorboard off the ground and what revealed itself was something Pagzagana was not expecting, a trap door.
"Are you sure that the sound did'nt come from in there?" asked Leo
"I don't know what else to suggest, if it's not coming from here, it is probably a voice in our imagination" said Pagzagana. On the count of three, they worked together to lift the trap door and set it aside. Inside, there was a long way down, and a ladder leading down to the bottom. There was a voice coming from below, yelping for some help
"Can anyone help me? I've been down here for a few weeks" said the mysterious voice as it started to cry. One by one, they climbed down the long vertical tunnel with just the light from the above to support them and on their entrance, they find another angel-like creature who was crying with fear and madness

"LE'SHAWN'EE!?! what are you doing here?" asked Pagzagana in a shock
"I've been here for some time now, this monster had knocked me around the head and took my name and my form and put me in here" explained Le'shawn'ee, still frightening as if he had seen the demon itself
"Well, if you are here, then who is the Le'shawn'ee up on the top? asked Pagzagana
"Well, it'll soon become clear" said a voice from behind them. They slowly turned their heads to see who said that but Emmy fell to the floor with blood on her head
"EMMY!!!" they all shouted. It was the fake Le'shawn'ee that attacked Emmy in the back of the head and knocked her unconcious.
"I knew that you weren't the same" said Pagzagana
"Well, if you figured it out sooner, you wouldn't be having this trouble" said the fake Le'shawn'ee and knocked Pagzagana unconsious as well
"PAGZAGANA, I'll save you!!!" screamed the real Le'shawn'ee and he got angry and using his rage, he managed to incinerate the bars that held him in place and struck the fake Le'shawn'ee.
They drew their swords and went into a rampage but the problem was that they looked so similar, the others couldn't tell which one was real and which was fake. One of the Le'shawn'ee's was disarmed, and left defenseless, he started to cry out for help but the others didn't know who to help. The other Le'shawn'ee was helpless and being killed on the floor without mercy, he started to cry out for help. Leo was watching and a tear had drawn from his eye and then the flames returned to his cornea's. In a rage, Leo took the gun from a fallen Emmy's pocket and started to shoot the attacking Le'shawn'ee and he fell to the ground, dead. The other Le'shawn'ee got up with blood on his face and more blood on his body, he was weak and needed to be helped quick, or he'll die. Pagzagana came back up with a shock and saw Le'shawn'ee in pain and turmoil, and rushed to his aid

"Le'shawn'ee, dont worry, i'll fix you up before you know it" said Pagzagana lifting her arm out in front of her and her hand started to glow all of a sudden and a bright light had surrounded the room and in a flash, Le'shawn'ee was back to normal, but the fake one was still in jeopardy.
"Hold on a sec, we are forgetting Emmy" said Enc eagerly
"Very well" said Pagzagana, and another beam of light awoken her from her slumber.
"You're back Emmy" shouted Enc with joy. After Emmy had healed, they looked back on the fake Le'shawn'ee
"What should we do with the other Le'shawn'ee?" said Leo
"I dunno, but I think I know what it was... A shape shifting Parasitican" said Pagzagana
"Those Parasiticans are getting away with this and I'll do whatever it takes to beat them!!!" shouted Leo. They started to climb back up the ladder when Pagzagana called them back down
"Heroes of the medallion, I will accompany you for now, I have my own reasons for beating the Parasiticans" said Pagzagana
"And I will follow milady to the ends of the world and back, I will pay my dept to you for saving me" said Le'shawn'ee with deep respect and gratitude
"Very well, lets get moving" said Enc in a hurry, but suddenly, the fake Le'shawn'ee's neck started to glow, it became another beam of light and hit the medallion on Leo's neck. The top left corner of the medallion started to shine for some mysterious reason
"Why is this happening?" said Leo
"The light!!! It is one of the World Medallions, the Parasitican must have had one of them all along" said Pagzagana, struck with awe. The body of the Parasitican had dematerialised into a million pieces and floated away into the heavens. They went straight back to the main plaza of Efva and told the people of Pagzagana and Le'shawn'ee's leave of absense. By the time they made their speech heard, they returned to their bodies with Pagzagana and Le'shawn'ee flying not too far behind.

Please. OP.
For the love of all that is good and sacred.
Please stop posting this.
I just... I just can't.

"We're back on the surface" said Emmy with joy
"Yes, it is, in fact, a relief to get away from that kingdom, I have been stuck there for half of my life and I got pretty sick of it after a while but now, we have something else to worry about, let's get moving" said Pagzagana. Enc heard something whisper in his ear saying
"Come hither, my old friend" but Enc, idiotically, followed the sound into the shadows and the troublesome Parasitican had put him in a sack. The troublesome Parasitican had summoned a black hole and flung Enc in, and jumped in after him and disappear into thin air.
What happened to Enc? Did he survive?

>>1333722
Don't worry, we're halfway through. The author never finished. The version he sent me is 15,087 words long.

--

Chapter 4: The Darkest Day

Enc and the Parasitican appeared in front of a gigantic building that resembled the look of Dracula's Castle from history. The Parasitican grabbed the sack containing Enc and dragged him into the foyer through the first door that they passed through. The thunderstorms outside were breaking the tension on the inside and rattled the tiles of the roof. Enc had moreorless, no way of breathing as there was no holes that air could pass through but luckily, in his early, gangster days, he learnt how to build and save up oxygen for long periods of time, and that lesson stuck with him throughout his years. The Parasitican was heading for the gigantic door at the back that was too big to even reach the doorknob, but there was a pullchain that rang a bell which triggered a scan to invite friends but boot out trespassers. The Parasitican had taken the scan and was accepted and the giant doors swung open and banged loudly against the walls it held up against. Inside the door was a room that was quite spacious but the only furniture was a furnacer to provide heat, a giant table with fifteen chairs set around it. The centerpiece was a giant throne built for the mastermind of this whole scheme, and there he sat.
"Father, I brought one of the so called heroes of the world that stand to hinder us" said the Parasitican
"Kudos Gonxo, but when I said bring them to me, I meant ALL of them!!!" the Leader shouted
"I am sorry Father, but there was not much to find, there was only three others that I found dying on the floor" said Gonxo

"What did I tell you, dying or dead, they are still more useful than forgotten about" said the Leader with anger. The sack broke open and Enc fell out and took a big relieved breath but the troubles for him was far from over.
"So this is the hero of the world? Not much to look at, is he?" said the Leader with a sense of humour in his cold, black heart
"Who are you, where am I, and what have you done with my friends" shouted Enc
"Why, you didn't hear, did you?" said the Leader, who had a mischeivous grin that was hidden by the scarf made of bones that he wore over his mouth
"Hear about what?" said Enc going along with the trick
"Well, I have to tell you the truth, your friends have deserted you, they have betrayed you. And pretty soon, you will find that out when your new best friend screws you over after taking your dream away from you" said the Leader as he was trying so hard not to laugh hysterically
"Leo? but... but he will never do that... he wouldn't" said Enc in shock of
what he is hearing
"Well, since I like you, I'm gonna let you go, but here, take this" said the Leader as he opened his black cloak, covered in blood, to reveal an arm which was holding a identity card, containing the Leaders address and his picture on it, in his grasp.
"What's this?" Enc asked
"It's your ticket card, when you find out what I meant, follow the address and use it on the scan so you can trick them to letting you in on my face" said the Leader
"Thanks, who are you?" Enc asked. The Leader tried to make a fake name up on the spot and the only thing he thought of was

What is sad is that many "normal" folk wouldn't take a second glance at this shit.

Is this guy a neckbeard OP?

"Seth... My name is Seth, Enc" said the Leader who was secretly relishing over the fake name.
"Thanks Seth, I'd best be off now, ciao" said Enc as he went through the door and left the building
"Are you crazy? You just let him go" shouted Gonxo from across the room
"Am I crazy? He will come back, and when he does, he will rebel against his own kind and work for us forevermore" said the Leader as he started to laugh sinisterly. Gonxo started to laugh just for the hell of it.
"What will happen to Enc? Will the Leader of the Parasiticans actually prevail?

Chapter 5: The Moonlit Dance

The sun had set and the moon rose up in it's place, Leo and the others were still sleeping when Enc quickly sneaked back in his camping sack, and made it out like he was out to go find some food and come back with it but he felt hungry and ate it all, Enc had suddenly become more sneaky since he rubbed elbows with the advarsaries. Pagzagana started to talk in her sleep
"No... Terrible things... Wipe out society..." After she said that, she settled down again and rolled over to the other side of her camping sack. After that, a loud noise came louder than an air raid siren and woke up everybody.
"What was that" shouted Le'shawn'ee
"I may have had an accident" whispered Enc
"It came from over there by the mountains" shouted Emmy

>>1333732
I don't know him in real life, but from what I've seen of him over the internet he's probably about 17, likes Coheed and Cambria and demons and gothic shit. He went by 'Adramelech' when I first saw him but has changed names like a bajillion times.

--

"Let's go check it out" shouted Pagzagana
"Come on" shouted Leo. They all stood back up, rubbed their eyes, took one big look at the cresent moon and strolled off into the twilight.
They reached the moonlit mountains and they couldn't believe what they saw, there was a party going on, and the party members were not humans but ghosts of humans who have came and passed through life. Emmy, having her worst nightmare realised, stiffened up like a board and fell down like a piece of paper. At that moment, Leo's pocket messenger went off again, it said
"Dear Leo,
I am doing fine, and I hope you are too, I hope you have met some friends along the way because I will never have you sleeping alone unless it was in your old bedroom, in your home. If you feel like you need help, you can always come back and talk to me. The Elder. P.S. I hope you haven't faced any trouble with the law. I will find out, sooner or later".
Leo put the messenger back into his pocket and rushed to the haunted bonanza and everyone followed, except for Enc who carried Emmy in his arms and brought her to where the party is. The ghosts saw them approach.
"Hey, outsiders!!!" shouted the ghost in front to the others behind him, after he said that, they started to tense up and look like they were ready to kill them.
"Friend or foe?, state your business here" demanded the ghost in front
"We are no threats, we came in search of something" said Leo who tried not to say too much in that statement

"Oh ok... well let me introduce myself" said the ghost. The ghost in front came forward, closer to them as the others resumed the party as if nothing had happened
"My name is Trias, and you are?" asked Trias in a calm and friendly manner as he tried to rub his stomach but couldn't, because the ghosts were see through and could be walked through
"Oh, I'm Leo, and these are my friends, Enc, Emmy, Pagzagana and Le'shawn'ee" said Leo while the others had no intentions of contributing to the conversation. At that moment, Emmy started to come to, and saw the others and smiled, but when Trias greeted her, she kicked and screamed at him, with no mercy, but nothing worked against him.
"My my, a feisty one isn't she?" said Trias in a calm way, even after she tried to attack him unmercifully.
"Why not join us for the special party?" asked Trias in a kind and excited manner
"What makes it special?" asked Enc
"It is to comemerate the three hundreth milestone of when we became a new kind and this party only comes once in a hundred years" explained Trias in a sense of melancholy because although he liked his afterlife, he also missed his old form and before he became a shapeless orb with hands.
"Well don't worry, we will take care of your kind" said Enc confidently, and also in an attempt to impress Emmy

"Well, you not need to take care of us for long, we arise every hundred years and have this spectactular party each time we come up from our graves" said Trias in an upset manner of speech because he enjoys to be on the world where he knows he is not alone
"Oh ok... let us make the most of the time we have then" said Leo in a hurry to get to the party and started showing off, which he is best at. Everyone started to rejoin the party, except for Emmy who was still stiff as a plank of wood, a few moments later, Enc came for her again and took her to where the party was held. Pagzagana and Le'shawn'ee were dancing together, which they had many years of practice from their parties in Efva, Emmy was at the corner, trying to kick the fear of ghosts so she can have some fun as well and Leo and Enc were sitting on a rock, as they were exhausted from lugging around the travelling bags belonging to themselves and Emmy, Pagzagana and Le'shawn'ee didn't need one as they had powers, instead of tools.
"It sure is secluded out here" said Leo amazed
"I know, this is where I always used to come up to when I was a little child. I was at least 6 years old and my father showed me the cliff from afar. He said that I would be coming there later on in life, and I never went up there... not once, I bet it would be the perfect place to even bring a woman, if you know what I'm implying" said Enc. Enc continued to ramble on to himself, Leo had disappeared when Enc was in mid-flow.

>implying

"Leo... Leo, where are you? Don't hide from me" said Enc who was secretly scared of being alone in the dark. Enc left the rocks and went back to the party in a panic
"Help!!! Leo has gone missing" shouted Enc. The team ran to where Leo and Enc were sitting when it all happened
"We were right here, I was talking about my childhood" said Enc
"Well, no wonder he's gone" interupted Emmy
"I am not that old, you know" said Enc. He continued telling them the story of his sudden vanishing act
"Anyway, I was talking to him and when I stopped talking and turned to him, he was gone" said Enc. After a moment, Enc started to feel a hand on his shoulder
"Ok Emmy, very funny, I appreciate the sentiment but can you please get off my shoulder, it's freaking me out" said Enc
"It isn't me, I'm over here" said Emmy
"Well, if that aint you, then who is it?" asked Enc as he was too scared to look behind him
"I don't know but it is on me as well" said Le'shawn'ee. After Le'shawn'ee had finished his sentence, he was pulled into thin air
"LE'SHAWN'EE!!!" shouted Pagzagana as she ran to investigate why he disappeared. In a minute, Enc was pulled in as well, and it left both of the girls behind, and safe.
Everyone turned dizzy and fainted after a while. When they came to, they found out that they were at an empty room. The room was pitch black, with just a candle as support of light and in the middle was 4 crypts in the middle and had some text written in a different language, on the face of each crypt. "This is scary" said Enc

"I know, but where are we exactly" said Le'shawn'ee
"I dunno but I have a feeling that this problem has something to do with the coffins... I say... Open them" said Leo who was also scared
"What!?! Are you crazy? We could die for all you know" said Enc in a panic
"Ok, you wait here, if we are in trouble, get help" said Leo. Leo quietly sneaked up to the crypts, with Le'shawn'ee not too far behind him, they lifted the crypt door and what they saw was not what they were expecting, the crypts were empty, so they went to the other two and lifted the doors of the other crypts, and once again, they were empty. Enc, who was watching from afar, was pleased and relieved that the danger was nowhere to be seen, but then, a mysterious voice said
"So have you settled in alright?"
"Ahhh, who's there?" shouted Enc with fright
"Enc, did you just say something?" asked Leo with no clue what is going on. After Enc had turned around to see who was there but then, at the worst time, the candle burned, leaving them in the darkness. They heard laughter coming from the walls, like the walls was trying to communicate with them
"Who's that?" said Le'shawn'ee
"Well, well, the masculine ones always get so touchy" said the mysterious voice
"But still, we are glad you came" said another voice coming from the opposing side of the room

>I see where this is going

"We have waited so long for this" said yet another mysterious voice that was coming from behind them
"But now, we can get back at those who sent us to the abyss" said another voice that was coming from in front of them. There were four voices in the air and none of them were recognised
"Who are you?" shouted Leo in fear
"Now now, don't get hasty, you can wait a while" said the voice on the left
"We are just merely testing your patience" said the voice on the right
"We have waited so long, for the traitors" said the voice in the front
"For you Parasiticans to walk into our trap" said the voice from behind
"We are not Parasiticans, in fact, we are out to destroy them and get revenge ourselves" explained Leo, trying so hard not to scream like a little girl
"We don't know what to believe anymore" said the voice on the left
"We have been in this desolate confinement for so very long" said the voice on the right
"But if you say you are on our side" said the voice in the front
"Then I guess we should turn on the lights" said the voice from behind. After a second, the lights came on and the four of them came crashing to the floor. They were all wearing the same black, revealing dress, covered in sparkling jewels around the sides, they all had a face as pale as the ghosts, with eyes that can see the undead, and ruby red lips which was drooling down their chins and onto the floor. Two of the girls had golden hair and the other two had black hair. The girls were vampires.

>What a tweest!

"Who are you?" asked one of the vampire girls as they walked closer towards them
"I'm Leo, this is Enc and this is Le'shawn'ee" said Leo trying to rush his words
"And you are?" said Le'shawn'ee in a cool, laidback manner
"I am Serez" said the vampire at the front
"The name's Ste'se" said the vampire on the right
"My name is Becsy" said the vampire on the left
"...Legs" said the vampire at the back. The vampire girls were beginning to trust them a little more than when they first met.
"Well, we will send you back to the overworld, get ready girls" said Serez while going into some sort of formation. They circled around the team and started to chant something in a different language and a huge light drowned out the light of the room and in a flash, they were gone and left the vampire sisters on their own
"Well, when do you think we will see them again?" said Ste'se
"Very soon" said Serez
"When the time comes, we will be free" said Legs
"Yay, I can't wait to get back at the colony that exiled us" said Becsy. The vampire girls went back into the shadows and went back into slumber.
The girls were waiting for the men on the overworld, as the party still goes on.
"Where did they go, I hope they are alright" said Emmy
"They will be fine, Emmy, have faith" said Pagzagana. During the time they spent waiting, Pagzagana and Emmy grew more friendly with every passing minute. At that moment, Leo, Enc and Le'shawn'ee came rolling out of a black hole that ejected that let them out too quickly
"Leo, Enc... You're alive" shouted Emmy as she came running at them with opened arms
"Le'shawn'ee... You're alright" shouted Pagzagana but that was followed by no hug, but the alternative was a firm pat on his winged back.

>>1333750
I'd just like to reaffirm how terrible these names are.

--

"So where have you guys been?" asked Emmy with deep intent for an answer
"We were trapped in a room in pitch black with four undead, vampire girls who appear to be sisters, they summoned us on suspicion that we were from the Parasiticans, who they are after as well, so we convinced them that we share the same interest in heart, and they let us go" explained Enc in great detail which gave the girls a clear picture of what may have happened.
"Well, at least you returned safely, Trias was asking for you a moment ago, and he wants to talk to you about something" said Emmy
"Did he say what he wanted us for?" said Leo
"No, but he seemed very delighted about it" said Emmy
"Well, he's over there" said Pagzagana pointing near the pond of blood at the corner. They walked over to Trias, he saw them approaching him in the reflection in the red, dense water. His face turned from a frown to a excited smile, he obviously was happy to see them
"I am glad to see you, I have some big news for you" said Trias with excitement.
"What is it" asked Leo who was eager to know what the big news
"Well, every one hundred years, we hold this party to commemorate the milestone of the freedom of our souls and the connection to this world, but every one hundred and fifty years, we hold this special ritual of prosperity. Do you see that tower in the middle?"

asked Trias, pointing to the tower at the back of the mountain side
"Yeah, was is it?" asked Pagzagana
"It is the tower of sacrifice, every one hundred and fifty years, we sacrifice a soul in order to keep our souls binded to this world, we have the body that will be offered up in sacrifice so all you need to do, is to stab him in the chest with this sword when the time comes" said Trias while holding out a sword in his hand to give to Leo
"Ok, that can be done, I mean, it's for a good cause" said Le'shawn'ee who took the sword from Leo and positioned it carefully in one of his four empty sword holsters
"Why do you carry so much space for your weapons?" asked Leo
"For protection, you'll never know when it may come in handy" said Le'shawn'ee, hoping that Leo didn't have any follow up questions
"Who is the guy who is offered up in sacrifice?" asked Pagzagana
"Some outsider named Kaz, he came to our world a few years and he was sticking his nose into our business, looking into our chronology bible, so he was sentenced to taking part in this ritual" Trias said, without realising he said too much
"So this Kaz, was involuntarily involved with this ritual because of looking into a book of history?" asked Leo with a confused tone in his voice
"Yes, outsiders reading our chronology bible is considered blasphemy upon our colony, and that's why he must die" said Trias in a sudden rage
"Where is he?" asked Leo with a quickly devised plan
"He's in the tower right now, you can go see him but only until it's time" said Trias, still excited about the ritual. Leo and the others walked up to the tower, the door was in the shape of a skull and crossbones which proved it was dangerous, they pushed the door and entered at their own risk. In the tower was some stairs leading upwards and some leading downwards, but they didn't know which door to go through to get to Kaz

"Why don't we just split up?, Pagzagana and Le'shawn'ee, you guys take the stairs leading up, Enc and Emmy, you guys take the stairs going down and i'll take the door" said Leo, who was eager to find Kaz. They split up in different ways to find him quicker. Pagzagana and Le'shawn'ee went up the stairs, to find a pitch black room
"Where's the light switch in here?" said Pagzagana
"I dunno, but I think it's somewhere over there" said Le'shawn'ee who can secretly see through darkness but he didn't want Pagzagana to know about his gift to see in the dark. Le'shawn'ee went over to the light switch on the far corner of the room and at the tug of a string, the light came on with just a split second, the lights revealed a small, empty room with no major furniture, but there was another staircase at the side which went up in a spiral
"There may be nothing here, but let's check upstairs" said Pagzagana in a hurry. They started to climb the stairs and once again, they find another dark room, but this time, the lantern, that was the only support of light, was broken and unable to activate. Le'shawn'ee let out a huge gasp but Pagzagana couldn't see a thing
"Hey Le'shawn'ee, what's going on? and how do you know what's going on?" asked Pagzagana in a confused manner
"Well, firstly, I... can see in the dark and secondly, you dont want to see what is here" said Le'shawn'ee

"How come you can see in the dark and none other can?" asked Pagzagana in shock. As they started to argue continuously, the lantern suddenly reawakened and let off a huge ray of light which surrounded the room once again, but Pagzagana took one look at the room and let off a big scream. There was corpses everywhere, with blood on the walls and mutilated bodies on the floor, Pagzagana was wanting to vomit at the sight but she had too much grace to do it, she hid her face in Le'shawn'ee's wings and started to cry
"This must've been an execution room but don't worry, we'll get out of here" said Le'shawn'ee while holding Pagzagana in his arms and wrapped his wings around her. Slowly she raised her head and turned back in pursue of the door. There was no sign of Kaz anywhere.
Enc and Emmy went down the stairs to find a dungeon-like room with torture items such as iron maidens and racks were seen scattered around across the floor. There was no lantern, but a light bulb, which made it easier to see
"Well, no wonder they call this place the tower of death" said Emmy as she was secretly starting to become scared
"Well, there doesn't seem to be anything of insignificance here" said Enc
"Well, there must be something that can open up a secret passageway in this place" said Emmy confidently. At that moment, Enc tripped over something wierd that stuck to the floor

>herp derp

"What is that" said Enc, startled and hurt. It was a lever that was sticking out of the floor, and there was another lever next to it, but sticking out of the wall. There was an inscription in between them saying
"Pull one, and the secret is revealed, pull the other and the secret will become too much to comprehend, choose wisely". Enc and Emmy looked worried about pulling the wrong one
"What should we do now?" asked Enc in a panic
"Well, we could pull one each, it may be good for one of us, but the other will get a one way ticket to the abyss, i'll go first" said Emmy
"No, i'll go first, I dont care about going to the abyss, after all, I will end up there, one way or another" said Enc, sacastically but heroically. He went forward to the lever on the wall and reached out to grab it. His heart was pumping twice as fast and his muscles tightened, he closed his eyes and pulled it down. As he pulled it down, the corresponding wall collapsed, making a secret room visible. Emmy kissed Enc on the cheek and said
"Thank you for taking the risk for me" and started walking to the secret room. Enc did not know what to do with himself, he started to blush. All he could say was
"You're welcome". They walked over to the secret room and all they found was a plaque that said
"4: Otni Dlrow eht Gnikaerb no Stsisni taht Srotiart Esoht Yortserd"
"What does that mean?" asked Enc in a confused way
"It is in another language, but what it is trying to tell us is beyond me" said Emmy in a brought down mood, seeing how she is usually the one who knows her stuff. There was a clue to the fate of the world, but still no sign of Kaz.

>OMG SEEKRIT BACKWARDS CODE

Leo started to walk to the big door on the middle floor of the tower and pushed the door slightly so that it didn't bang against the wall that it was supported on. Inside the door was a hallway of jail cells, just like a prison for ghosts. Every cell looked empty except for the one at the far right. Inside that cell was a mysterious looking man with a coat as black as the night sky and he was wearing bangles on his wrist with spikes as sharp as pikes. His boots didn't look very swift, but they looked like they could soften a hard blow on the foot. His face was pale, he must be another one of the vampires.
"Who's there?" shouted the mysterious man, in fear
"Don't worry, I mean no harm" said Leo, in terms of peace
"Who are you" asked the mysterious man in a friendly voice
"I'm Leo... And you are?" asked Leo
"My name's Kaz, I've been here for some weeks now" said Kaz
"I know, but I'm here to rescue you from this fate" said Leo
"You met Trias?" asked Kaz
"Yes, he was acting nice, so I trusted him... and he tells us of his intentions" said Leo
"Well, I trusted him a few years ago but that was a feux paux of it's own" said Kaz
"What exactly happened?" asked Leo, who was curious and eager to know what exactly happened
"Well, long story short, I came up here and found the ghosts, befriended Trias, stayed with them in the underworld for a few years and read a passage from the chronology bible and got thrown in here and got forgotten about... and now they want to kill me" said Kaz in a panic

"Well don't worry, I'll try to get you out of here" said Leo.
"Well, hurry up, I can hear someone approaching" said Kaz. Leo quickly ran to grab the key and quickly open the cell door to set Kaz free. Leo and Kaz ran to persue the approacher, which was only the others, they were shocked to see Leo had found him.
"So... This is Kaz?" asked Pagzagana with a sense of jealousy in her voice because she wanted to go through the trouble, and getting results
"Yep, Kaz, this is Enc, Emmy, Pagzagana and Le'shawn'ee" said Leo, introducing his friends to a new ally
"So... What are we waiting for? Let's get out of here before they catch us" said Enc in a panic
"Well, you're too late" said Trias in a rage. He started to walk towards them until Le'shawn'ee came up with a smart plan
"RUN!!!!" shouted Le'shawn'ee as he pelted for the door. They started to run towards the door but the good thing is that they could walk through the ghosts, making it easier to pass. Trias started to tense up, trying to catch them but they went past him and headed for the exit, and they were free at long last. Trias said quietly to himself
"I'll get you soon, I'll make sure of it". The team ran to the shadowed cliff in the distance, which Leo and Enc was admiring before.

"We'll hide here in the shadows until the day rises, then we continue on" said Le'shawn'ee in a relieved manner, relieved to be out of trouble, but so was everyone. Enc came up with a good idea and went into the shadows and vanished, we must've gone to go find something. Emmy, inevitably, had too much of the blood wine, which she must've drank during her time in the dungeon. Emmy saw Leo sitting on the rocky surface, staring at the view, hoing he could see Lesogenias from there. Emmy started to slur her words a little
"Hey Leo, Min' if I j'st sit down a little?" said Emmy, with no control over her body
"Hmmm sure" said Leo, trying not to say the wrong things, he had been in many situations like this before, like at his seventeenth birthday party when his old friend, Matos, came at him, drunk.
"So, I am glad 'bout all we've 'complished today, Emmy says yey" said Emmy, going delarious with the alcohol.
"Hmmm listen, you might want to get some rest, we have a big day tomorrow" said Leo
"Ok, g'night, but before I go, Emmy must give you something" said Emmy, wanting to give Leo a surprise
"Ok then" said Leo, closing his eyes and holding out his hands to build the tension of what it is. Emmy, through no fault of her own, leaned forward, and kissed Leo. At that moment, Enc returned with a bunch of flowers he had picked, and was looking for Emmy, he saw Pagzagana and asked her
"Do you know where Emmy is" with an excited smile plastered on his face
"Yeah, she's over there with Leo" said Pagzagana pointing to the opening of the rocks where Leo and Emmy were. Enc looked over and what he saw what Emmy was doing to Leo, Leo, without seeing or hearing Enc, quickly pushed her away and confined her to her bed and resumed looking at the stars. Enc, jumping to the wrong conclusion, dropped the flowers and left towards the distance in which he came from, but this time, he disappeared.


>until the day rises
>day rises

Enc was on his way to see Seth again, and tell him that what he said was true. Meanwhile, Seth and Gonxo were playing blackjack with blood stained cards
"I wonder how that boy is doing, I hope he is coming back, I really enjoyed his company" said Seth
"You need to let it go, he is not coming back" said Gonxo in a harsh way
"I suppose you're right... but dont worry, I always have a back up plan when it comes to conquering and liberating colonies" said Seth in a proud way. At that moment, the big door started to glow and open until it hit the wall with a big bang. Enc was stood there with an upset face. Seth completely changed his tone of voice
"So, did you get the picture?" asked Seth in a quiet voice
"Yes, I was betrayed by my best friend, who took my dream away from me... like you said" said Enc in an upset voice
"Well, since you came and you went through the trouble of coming all this way down here... Your heart now belongs to me!!!" said Seth. He pointed his finger at Enc and a beam of light came at Enc and went straight through his chest and he fell to the ground with no sign of life.
"Enc will be of good use, we will finally be able to liberate Lesogenias" said Seth as he started to laugh evilly.
What will become of Enc? Is Lesogenias as good as dead?


(NB. why are these questions at the end of chapters? Does he think we're in a TV serial, or that we'd CARE?)

Chapter 6: The Curse of Exorcism

The team woke up after a late slumber last night, Emmy had no memory of what happened last night, but Leo had nightmares about what happened. Leo went to Emmy, who was feeling ill from last night
"So, do you remember what happened last night?" Leo asked Emmy with a scared look on his face
"No, it was all a blur, why? Do you know something?" asked Emmy in a worried way. Leo was going to tell her, but even with his hatred for her still goes on, he doesn't want to hurt her so he let it go
"No, but last night was not much that you would want to remember" said Leo in a quiet voice. Le'shawn'ee came in, rushing around in a panic
"Guys, come quick" shouted Le'shawn'ee
"Why? What's wrong?" asked Leo, worried about what may have happened
"It's Enc, he's gone... Packed his camping pack and had it away on his toes" said Le'shawn'ee, hoping for a response of shock and fear
"Oh no, where do you think he would go?" asked Leo in a worried and angry way
"I dunno, but I digress, did you do anything to make him leave?" asked Le'shawn'ee. Leo thought hard to find the answer and it hit him, which made him shout

"I know why he left, my god, it's all my fault that he left!!!" and felt upset all of a sudden
"Oh come on, it can't be your fault, there is most probably another explaination for this, we better move on, we might even find him on the way" said Pagzagana in a relaxed way.
"Ok, I'll keep calm for the time being" said Leo in a calmer mood. As they continued on, they saw Kaz running towards them
"Hey guys, I know this is on short notice but come with me, some people want to see you" said Kaz in a excited mood. Everyone started to look sceptical but Leo, secretly wants Kaz to join them, so he says
"Alright then, where are we expected to come to?" asked Leo
"Just my hometown, Ortinia, it's just down that road" said Kaz pointing at the road in the horizon. Without any follow up questions, they followed him to Ortinia, but they wonder what happened to Enc.

When they reached Ortinia, they were greeted by a pretty young woman, she was wearing a black dress, similar to the vampire girls that Leo and Le'shawn'ee met before, in the haunted mountain. She had black eyes and very long, brown hair that came down to her ankles.
"Hello, you must be the heroes that we have heard some much about, I am Jyni, the princess of this colony, I'll leave you be for now, but come to me if you need any help" said Jyni. She started to walk away and came back, as if she forgotten something
"And by the way, someone was asking for you a moment ago, she said that she knew you from somewhere. If I were you, I would go see what she wants, she seemed eager to see you. She's in that house over there" said Jyni, pointing to a strange house on the hill in the background. It carried the stereotype of danger, which made Pagzagana and Emmy worry if it was a trap. They started to walk to the house, as Emmy and Pagzagana started to get sceptical on the idea
"I'm not sure it is a good idea, for all you know, it could be a trap" said Emmy in fright
"Or it could be someone who wants to see us, did you just hear her? She would've told us if there was something going on, don't you think?" said Leo confidently as he continued to advance to the mysterious house. In it's presence, they stopped and looked the house, up to down. It was a black painted house with at least 4 floors of height. It had the look of a haunted mansion. In the doorway, there was a doorbell with red around the edges of the button.

>Little do they know, the Parasitica soliders was approaching slowly but surely.

Where I stopped.

No more, OP.

"I still don't think it is a good idea but if you want to ring the doorbell, be my guest, Pagzagana and I will go wait over there" said Emmy as she and Pagzagana walked back to the lawn. Leo and Le'shawn'ee slowly walked to the doorbell and Leo started to raise his arm and pointed a finger to press the button. Emmy and Pagzagana were more scared when they saw movement through the curtain of the window. Emmy ran a few steps and shouted
"Leo, Le'shawn'ee, don't press that..." shouted Emmy but she was too late, Leo had pressed the button as it rang through the house with a dull, but loud ring
"... button" said Emmy, finishing her sentence in disappointment. Nothing happened which made Leo happy as he thought he had proved Emmy wrong, but on their retreat, the door creaks open slowly. A hand pops out and a force grabbed Leo, Le'shawn'ee and Kaz, they were unable to move and were starting to be pulled back, with nothing pulling on them. Emmy and Pagzagana started to run after them, to save them but as soon as the girls reached the doorway, the door closed with a forced slam. On the inside, Leo, Le'shawn'ee and Kaz were being tied up by the same unknown force. At that moment, a woman came out of the shadows, followed by three others, it was the vampire girls from the mountain.

What forum?
No matter the quality, I don't think you should be publicizing his work without his consent.
You are nonprofessional.

>>1333780
It's not like this was ever going to be published anyway, in any form.
Also, it's a very small forum, inconsequential.

--

"It's you... Serez" said Kaz, who has obviously met her before as well
"Why Kaz, we never expected to see you here, we thought you were dead" said Serez, surprised that Kaz is safe. Another voice came from the shadows
"Well, he will be soon, and so will the others of his friends" said the mysterious voice. The mysterious person stepped out from the shadows and it was Trias, who knew Kaz's hometown and came in persue of finding him.
"I'm gonna enjoy this" said Trias, pulling out a knife from thin air and pushing it into Kaz's neck softly, until Serez grabbed it out of his hand and threw it across the room and into the shadows. A scream was heard from the distance, St'ese came out of the shadows with the knife sticking out of her neck. She took it out of her neck and threw it on the ground, looking angrily at Serez
"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there, it's lucky we are already dead" said Serez, laughing under her breath
"Yeah, ok" said St'ese in a calmer mood
"Where are the others?" asked Serez and Kaz at the same time. They looked at each other. The other sisters came out of the shadows, and sat down on the chair next to the boys.
"What did you want us for?" asked Becsy
"Kaz? What are you doing here after all this time?" asked Legs, but before there was an answer, the door opened with an exploding bang. It was Emmy and Pagzagana, with anger tattooed on their faces. Without any words, Emmy took out her gun and tried to shoot them, but unluckily, there were unhurt.
"We can't let you get to Parasitica, we must defeat them ourselves" shouted Serez
"For the sake of our world, we must do this, and do this alone" said St'ese
"If someone else finishes our work..." said Becsy
"Then our world will cease to exist, this is our job" shouted Legs

"Then why don't we just do it together? I mean, it'll be like us, back in the old days" said Kaz, in terms to make peace
"The old days have passed, a long time has passed, and this fate became of us" said Serez, remembering her moments of suffering
"But..." said St'ese, who wanted to tell them something important, but once again, they were interupted by another person coming through the door, it was Jyni and a man with a strange spear-like object. The man had big black hair, and had crimson shaded glasses on. He was wearing a black coat, similar to Kaz and Jyni, he was obviously another leader of Ortinia.
"Hello Serez, St'ese, Becsy, Legs... Other people" said the mysterious man, who has obviously met the girls from somewhere before
"Halm, I never expected you here either, this is a day worthy of deja vu, what is your business here?" asked Serez
"Well, Jyni told me that some girls told her that their friends were in captivity in the house on the hill, so I thought to myself, and your pictures came in my mind, so I accompanied them up here, and here they are" said Halm, looking at Leo, then Le'shawn'ee and back at the girls. The vampire girls noticed the strange object in his hand and their eyes went wide open and with a wave of the object, the vampire girls started to act wierd, and all at once, they fainted.
"What happened to them?" asked Leo in shock
"Don't worry, this object is known as an Exorcism Bane, it is able to send shocks to their bodies and rid them of the evil spirits that gather up in them" said Halm. Serez finally came to and said

>>1333784
I'd also like to point out that this forum has nothing to do with literature. He just approached me because I'd posted some of my stuff on there before and figured I was good at this sort of thing.

--
"What are we doing here? The last thing I remember is that I was trapped in darkness and managed to find light then I just saw red everywhere I looked... Halm!! Kaz!!, it's been a while". She couldn't remember of her time of evil, but at least she was not acting evil anymore. The other girls woke up shortly after
"What have we been doing?" asked St'ese
"Where are we?" asked Becsy
"Who are you guys? and why are you tied up?" asked Legs
"Oh right, girls, untie them" said Serez. Legs untied Leo, St'ese untied Le'shawn'ee and Becsy untied Kaz, they were finally free to move around.
"So, someone was asking for you a few minutes ago" said Halm, looking directly at Leo, like he knew who he was
"I thought it was Serez who was looking for me" said Leo in confusion
"No, we had no part in this, we were out of our minds" said Serez
"But there was someone who came in earlier" said St'ese
"She said she had something important to tell you" said Becsy
"But she was stopped by this man in white, and that's when everything went wierd and then we were out of the rest of the scene" said Legs. Leo's eyes opened wide and whispered to Emmy
"Man in white? I think that it was Enc!!"
"It sounds like him, but let's find out" said Emmy in a whisper. Emmy started to ask some more questions. Question 1 was
"Did he have white hair?"

"Yes, he had white hair and a few strands of blonde" said Serez. It was starting to sound more like Enc. Question 2 was
"Did he look around a retired age?"
"Yes, around 50 or 60 but he didn't act it though" said St'ese. Emmy was starting to paint a picture of Enc in her head. Question 3 was
"Did he have some white slacks?"
"Yes, he was wearing all white, he was very bright amongst our dark colony" said Becsy. They were close to painting a complete picture of Enc in their minds. The last question needed was question 4
"Did he wear a medallion similar to this one?" Emmy went over to Leo and pointed at the medallion
"Yes, he did, you got the guy" said Legs. It was Enc.
"Where did they go?" asked Leo
"He was heading up to that mountain over there, with the woman in his grasp. He looked like he was in a hurry" said Serez
"Ok, we'll go check it out, you guys can stay here" said Leo
"Ok, but upon your return, please come again, we have an important question we need to ask" said Serez while sitting down.
The heroes walked out the door and made their way to the mountain where Enc was heading. Just what is Enc doing? Who was the woman he was taking with him.

Chapter 7: The Fallen Hero

The heroes made it to the mountains, but they already been up there, it was the haunted mountains from earlier. The ghosts must've gone now, seeing how they didn't manage to complete the hundred year task of killing Kaz. Kaz was still with them but he feels bad for using his life to wipe out an entire society. The heroes walked back to the old stage for the party, it all looked so secluded without the ghosts who were filling the whole space, but they were able to walk through so it wasn't much of a crowd problem.
"So, this must be where Enc was heading" said Emmy, eager to find him

(NB. This is the home stretch, folks! Right after this point comes a giant run-on paragraph which I don't think I'll be able to put up in a single post.)

"Yes, but his trails ends here and the rest of this mountain is all blocked off" said Leo. But then, a laughter was heard from the distance. It was a shadow, on top of the tower of death, he saw the heroes and ran away. Leo quickly ran to the tower of death to see who it is, the rest of the heroes didn't see him go, thus, they didn't follow him to see what was going on. The heroes had uncovered all the secrets of the tower, which made the tower easier to traverse, but how to get on the roof, was a mystery. Leo went back into the silent jail room, where he met Kaz and went into the cell that Kaz was being held. He sat down and had a taste of Kaz's experience, but to his surprise, the wall behind him was paper thin which led to another cell, this must've been Kaz's friend who he used to visit in his cell, without Trias noticing. All the cells were empty, after the failure to kill Kaz in time of the ceremony. This gave Leo the chance to check all the cells for a secret passage, like the one in his cell in Lazeria. After he had checked all of the cells, he went back to the main foyer, having thoughts of giving up, he looked at the medallion with happiness and glee, when the glowing part of the medallion glowed a brighter twinkle, the floor that Leo was stood on started to rise up to the second floor and then the third floor. This was a secret passageway that the others forgot to search. This room was similar to the secret room back in Lazeria, it was pitch black and narrow, and had bats hanging from the ceiling and at the end of the darkness, was a light, that was the way through to the other side.

(The paragraph doesn't end here, I had to cut it to escape the dreaded 'field too long' message.)

Leo felt a bit claustrophobic in this passageway for some reason, and then he started to feel cramped, it was danger, the walls had started to close in on Leo. Leo, finally realising it, ran for his life to get to the other side, but he only just made it, but he had dropped his Riff wallet and was suddenly strapped for cash, but at least Leo and the Medallion is safe. After the ordeal was over, Leo ended up at a stairway with the light of the moon shining through as a bright as the sun, this must have been the rooftop. Slowly, Leo started climbing up the stairway and he finally reached the roof, Enc was there, he did not notice Leo approach, and was staring helplessly into the moonlight

(Word count for that single paragraph: 453)

"Enc?" said Leo in a quiet voice, Enc was still looking at the moonlight. A few minutes later, Enc started to turn around slowly, but something was wrong. The floor started to shake, or Leo's mind was playing him. Enc turned around to Leo with red eyes and Leo went on the floor with mad confusion. In a few seconds, a strange force picked up Leo and threw him in the door he came from. Leo suddenly charged back and tried to confront him
"What has gotten into you?" asked Leo, in severe pain
"I did some developing during my travels, I learnt how to use my rage, and this lesson should be your last call" shouted Enc as he made a big ball of darkness, to finish Leo off. The giant ball came shooting at him but it didn't hit him, Le'shawn'ee defended him using his kinetic powers to deflect all projectile shots he takes. Leo came running at Enc, who was still shooting at him but Leo managed to kick him, weakening his power, but Enc had another plan, he came charging at Leo with a sword. At that moment, Kaz threw up his sword so Leo came defend himself against the onslaught that is approaching. Leo fought back and they ended up knocking the swords out of each others hand.
"Why are you doing this?" asked Leo, in a scared scream
"I need to destroy you, my master will take none of your imputence" said Enc
"Your master? Who's your master?" asked Leo in a confused voice
"ENOUGH!!!... It ends today" shouted Enc
"Yes, my dear Enc, finish him off" said an unknown voice from the distance
"Who's there?" asked Leo. It was Trias again, but this time, he turned human.
"Trias, how did you turn into a being? And what are you doing with my friend?" asked Leo

>how did you turn into a being
>what

"Oh, I wouldn't ask about that but I found your friend Enc as I walked out of that house, he told me all I needed to know, and now, I can bring you and your little friend, Kaz into the depths" said Trias. At that moment, Kaz came up after being flew up by Pagzagana
"You will pay for what you did to me... Leo, do you still have that sword I gave you?" asked Kaz. Leo threw the sword back to Kaz, and turned back to see that Enc was gone. He had ran away to the next room
"Leo, you go into the next room in persue of Enc and see if you can snap him out of it and the rest of us will keep Trias busy" said Kaz
"Ok... Good luck" said Leo
"... Likewise" said Kaz, and they continued to battle as Leo went into the next room. The next room was set in a circular room, surrounded by blue candles and in the center was a strange looking mirror. In the middle of the floor, was Enc who looked hurt
"Leo, it's me, can you do me a favour?" asked Enc, who seemed to have snapped out of it
"Enc!!! Sure, go on, what is it?" asked Leo in excitement
"Can you take my life?" asked Enc. Leo's face changed from excited to scared
"What?!? That is too much to ask of me, I won't do it" said Leo in great denial of the truth
"You have to... Be a good friend and put me out of my misery" said Enc, in pain. Enc threw Leo his favourite gun and went into a pose, making it easier to aim at. Leo pointed the gun at Enc, with tears down his face, he put his finger on the trigger and pulled it, Enc had been shot, with his last words, he said
"Thank you..." and then, it was over. Enc's hand dropped on the floor. Leo dropped the gun and fell to his knees in sorrow, over the loss of his new best friend. The rest of the heroes came in and saw Enc, laying on the floor and they crowded around him, but his body started to fade away into nothingness.
"What happened here?" asked Le'shawn'ee
"I couldn't stop him, he kept pushing me into doing it, and I gave in" said Leo, while whimpering.

"You shouldn't blame this on yourself, there was nothing else you could do" said Kaz
"Well, there is, I will avenge his death, in any way I can" said Leo, taking a vow he wants to keep until the time of his own death. After Enc was gone, the top right corner of the medallion started to glow. They picked themselves up and headed back. Emmy came back for a second and kneeled to the place where Enc was and said
"I love you". She picked herself back up and ran to catch up with the others.

Intermission:

Lesogenias is not far from ceasing to exist and Enc's life had been lost. Will they ever regain their strength and prevail what many men before them had tried and failed? Will they emerge victorious or has their fates been decided?
(To read the next part of the story, go on to Part 2)
(NB. There never was a part 2. This is the end of The Prophecy of Lords.

So ends this pile of dreck.)

>Le'Shaw'nee

Why does one of these characters have such a retarded nigger name?

I could only read bits here and there, but my god...

...it's like the Eye of Argon.

>>1333817
Out of all of the terrible names in this story, you picked that one?

Myself, I couldn't stop giggling at the vampires' names.

>>1333790
What kind of stuff did you post there?
I would like to read it.

Oh god is this that retarded fantasy novel that got self-published over amazon that lit was talking about a while back?

>>1333824
Nope, this has never been published. I don't know how many other people the author sent this to, but as far as I know he and I have the only copies.
If he did send it to other people though, my bet is that they shot him down so hard that he gave up.

>>1333823
Short stories, mostly dystopian science fiction. But I don't plan on linking to any of it, I hate the stuff I write.

>>1333828
Let us be the judges.

>>1333828
>But I don't plan on linking to any of it, I hate the stuff I write.

That's the spirit.

Seriously, link us, what's the worst that could happen?

>>1333833
Be ridicarised like he just ridicalised that guy?

I honestly cant beleive how terrible this is. Its probably more cringe-worthy than some (SOME) anime fan-fics.

I know I've written some terrible stuff, but I'm gonna put it down to the fact that I wasnt focused and had an hour and a half to draft and write it in class.

This story made me laugh and cringe at the same time though!

>>1333833

I second the link.

>>1333873
I third the link! Come on OP, I'm pretty sure it wont be as bad as the stuff you just posted

>>1333866
The worst thing I ever wrote was a fanfic about Gollum getting raped by Faramir and Frodo and Sam standing and jacking each other off in the background.
Want me to share?

>>1333832
>>1333833
>>1333873
>>1333879

Honestly, I'd really rather not. What stuff I do have on the internet I hate with the force of a thousand suns. I am working on and off on something fairly major which I don't dislike too much, but it suffers from similar flaws.

Also, this topic is about this terrible story, not my own writings.

>>1333880
Why not!

>>1333885
Okay OP, but tell us something. What do you dislike most about your own writing? What flaws does it have?

>"Leo, run and hide somewhere" said Enc in a panic as he hid in the wardrobe, Leo hid behind the shelves on the wall which made him invulnerable to the naked eye, unless they looked very closely. A woman came and opened the door with a newspaper in one hand and a cup of latte in the other, she put down the stuff on the desk close to the window which she likes to look through and daydream. The woman went to the wardrobe which made Leo worried when he watched from behind her back, Enc started to hear her footsteps coming slowly to the wardrobe but when she came to the wardrobe, Leo started to feel a sneeze coming and tryed to keep it in, but he accidently let it out louder than expected.

WAT

>>1333898

Sorry for the late reply, I was eating breakfast.

I'm just not feeling it. I don't feel absorbed into the world. On top of that, I tend to use a lot of eloquent words, not quite to a purple degree, but it makes me cringe. I tend to be short on description as well.
Take for example this opening paragraph:

>The loud clanking of metal on metal resonated throughout the room as the android was gestured in. It was bleak and empty, black walls comprised solely of cold steel panels bound together rather oddly. There was nothing at all in the room, no light except for the flighty robot, flittering around the room, the sole mercurial light in its spherical frame flickering in and out of existence as tiny metal wings beat to keep it aloft.

I see at least one nastily-placed comma, a lack of description in the first sentence and too much eloquence in the second.

Maybe I'm just really anal and that's why I prefer taking apart others' terrible work than writing my own.

http://the-doomsday-machine.blogspot.com/2008/10/do-androids-dream-of-electric-sheep.html

>>1334019
I knew you'd find that, I fuckin' knew it.

>>1334025
It sucks that you were banned from TGWTG's forums.
Does the author of that story comes from this forum?

Once upon a time, there lived a ferocious dragon. People from villages all over the country had heard about it--the beast whose wings would flap and stir up storms; whose breath was black plumes of flaming smoke; and whose appetite was...for virgins.

The way they put it, there were virgins being sacrified to the dragon every other day to keep its hunger satisfied, as not to draw its ire on villages. There were stories of villages turned to ash and cinder and splinters for not giving up their fairest girls and abandoning them with a prayer and a wave to the vicious wiles of an insatiable beast.

And then, quite by accident, someone came up with a solution.

"Well, the dragon won't come bothering us, if only we had no virgins."

Inside dark skulls, bright lights flashed...

I'd say this is about 15% amusing, 85% just fucking terrible.

That said, this story should be published in creative writing course texts as an example of what not to do.

>>1334040
Did they kill or did they rape the girls?

>>1334037
No. As I said, the guy who wrote The Prophecy of Lords is from a very small forum.

>>1334007
Sorry for the late reply from me also!

OP, I thought that was an outstanding first paragraph, it really made me want to read more! I think your just getting worried about it, but don't man. I thought it was brilliant. Much better than what I write. I will share some if you want and if I can remember what I wrote (sadly it was in class and I didn't have the chance to take it home with me, but I may have it somewhere)

>>1334049
I have never heard about TGWTG until now, so I assumed it was small.

>>1334040

It was considered a service, really; kind-hearted young gentlemen who dedicated enormous expenditures of time to ridding local villages of virgins, by way of removing their virginity. And they were successful--for a very low price, one could guarantee one's own household against any sort of dragon attack. Fork over a few silver pieces and your fairest daughter, and in ten minutes or so, you had permanent insurance against scaled lizards large and small.

"They ought to fucking call us pruners," Dylan said. He stood in the doorway of his shop, waving away a young lady who walked with her face in her hands, weeping and wincing with every step she took. "I mean, what with all the deflowering we do. Clever, isn't it?"

Kobold stacked the silver pieces on a scale. "Hmph. Maybe. You could have at least been gentle with that last one. She looked really desperate. Terrified of that dragon."

"Hey, she's got nothing to fear now, does she?" Dylan said. "She's definitely not virginal."

Kobold let his glasses slip down to the end of his nose. He stared at Dylan over the top of his rims. "She would have nothing to fear anyway." He gestured to the house in which they made their business. "All this is just making a disease, charging for the cure, and all administered by unskilled labor."

Dylan frowned. "Unskilled? Hah, tell that to her, she won't walk right for a weak. I did my job real good."

>>1334053
>rape fic

You're fucking disgusting. Please die.

>tl;dr

mfw this is OP's story

>>1334053

Dylan flopped himself down on a long wooden bench, staring up at the ceiling. From up above, the bedrooms knocked and shook; women called out, sometimes in joy, sometimes in pain. Mostly in pain.

"Kobie, you still got that pipe of yours? I fancy a smoke."

"Of course I do."

"Well let's have it, then."

"I'd rather kiss an adder than share a pipe with your filthy lips."

Dylan shrugged. "Suit yourself. But really, my lips aren't what wanders over these young'uns." He grabbed his crotch as he said it. Kobold made a derisive sound, something between a cough and a grunt. Dylan laughed and laughed and laughed.

"Hello?"

Dylan sat up, and Kobold glanced toward the door. Standing there was a large man with a beard that hung to his belly and, standing at his feet, a girl of about nine or ten years old.

"I...I heard this was the place to come. See, I...I got a bit of a problem."

Kobold shifted his glasses up his nose and stared at the little girl. She looked terrified.

"I can imagine," he said. "Well...come in."

>>1334067

Anyone reading this or can I go to bed?

>>1334053
There should not have been a follow-up post. It was a fine story to begin with, let the reader work out the ending.

>>1334051
• Total posts 352978
• Total topics 24251
• Total members 71805

Not to mention that TGWTG is a very popular internet personality.

As opposed to the small forum I mentioned, which has 1112 members but only 10-20 are active.

>said xxx
>said yyy
>said xxx ambitiously
>said yyy

BLOODY HELL, you're writing a novel! Stop it!

>>1334069
This is quickly becoming a horror story.

>>1334073

Eh, you know.

Bad things happening to good people is a history of the world. Anyway the TF2 beta is done downloading, if all I'll do is depress people, I'll just go to bed.

>>1334074
>rapists

>good people

....

But then, this is 4chan. we come here to be revolted.

>>1334074
>implying the history of the world involves dragons

>>1334074
Your prose feels quite refreshing after what we just suffered. I like it.

Holy shit, speaking of dragons I just realized I used to live in rural Florida.
That means if I'd ever gotten in a fight with an alligator and killed it I'd be like the local equivalent of a dragonslayer.

Why the fuck did I never do that?

>>1334050
Well, thanks! I still don't feel too great about it though, but if you wanted to read the full thing, an anon above you tracked down where I posted it.
>>1334019

>>1334085

Because you're a pussy.

>>1334082
So! After reading absolute shit, I seem like fucking Nabokov? Well, fuck yeah. I'm like when you banged the fat girl after fucking an ugly chick, hell yeah.

Jesus
Fucking
Christ

>Pagzagana
>Le'shawn'ee

Oh God.

>>1334112
Just wait until you get to the vampires.
Just wait until you get to the fucking vampires.

I feel like my eyes have just been raped.
I'm calling the police, OP. I'll see you in court.

>>1334146
I didn't write it. Good luck with that.

>"Can you take my life?" asked Enc. Leo's face changed from excited to scared
"What?!? That is too much to ask of me, I won't do it" said Leo in great denial of the truth
"You have to... Be a good friend and put me out of my misery" said Enc, in pain. Enc threw Leo his favourite gun and went into a pose, making it easier to aim at. Leo pointed the gun at Enc, with tears down his face, he put his finger on the trigger and pulled it, Enc had been shot, with his last words, he said
"Thank you..." and then, it was over. Enc's hand dropped on the floor. Leo dropped the gun and fell to his knees in sorrow, over the loss of his new best friend. The rest of the heroes came in and saw Enc, laying on the floor and they crowded around him, but his body started to fade away into nothingness.

most boring death scene ever

>mfw the author misspells 'Pagzagana' like five different ways

Good god, you can tell this is bad when the author can't even spell his own characters' names.

This is probably the best thing ever written.

Was it for Nanowrimo? If so, then it's... almost forgivable.

This reminds me both of the Eyes of Argon, and that weird stand-alone X Files episode. The one with Jesse Ventura and Alec Trebek.

>>1334382
Nope, the guy who wrote this doesn't do NanoWriMo, if he's even heard of it. This was just a novel he was writing.

>>1333708
>emmy's gun
>emmy doesn't have a gun, Enc has one because he shot those guys in chapter 1
>I don't even give a shit

/lit/ should rewrite this.

Good lord, has this guy never heard of 'show, don't tell'? How can I identify with any of these characters when they have no development and every aspect of their lives is outright told to the reader, leaving nothing to the imagination?

It doesn't help that things like hatstands and scarves of bone appear out of nowhere.

>>1334545
I was thinking of it, but it is totally not worth it. Especially since we have no conclusion.
Unless /lit/ wants to finish the story. Which is way too much effort.

>>1334556

I'm saving a copy to the folder I only open when I'm high or on speed.

>>1334587
I have the original .doc if you'd like.

I stopped at the first post.
Fucking terrible.
Though I'm sure if I wrote something it would end up being worse than this.

good god, look at all that fucking dialog.

I stopped about where you stopped. Stilted dialog, nondescript characters and settings, melodramatic, Star Wars-like opening with way too much exposition.

At least it should be a short read with all that dialog.

Author of the novel posted here. One of my friends linked me to this thread.

I realize the novel seems a bit, I don't know, over-the-top, but I really wasn't like I was trying that hard at all. I just wanted to express myself in an interesting way, I guess. I mean, come on, is this the worst thing you've ever read, really, or is it just an arbitrary bit of text that fulfills the purposes of entertainment for you? Propaganda Minister is hardly some sort of literary prodigy, anyway, and I'm not saying this in my defense. It's easy to criticize in this relatively unconstructive "look-at-how-bad-this-is" way, but I mean, it is really hard to string together a narrative. I mean, the title of this thread "Terrible, awful 'novel'" is a redundant fucking mess which tries and fails to set an amused tone, but he's not done there: He specifically calls the novel again and again. Is it a piece of shit? Why should we "Prepare [our collective] anus, /lit/"? (shit, that is being shoved in your anus, I guess) and capped by a macro, but I'm just being a douche if I claim this is the worst OP in the history of the world: No, I'm just being a catty critic who isn't producing anything myself - just because PM is coy about people reading his work, doesn't mean it's just as much shit.

I mean, it's a cliche, but "Haters gonna hate". It's time for Propaganda Minister to put up or shut up. Post everything you have ever written to that blog you have, and post it to the world (or at least /lit/), or else you're just a private version of me, except you also care especially what others think of your work so much that you are willing to deny yourself their feedback and actually improve.

Show me your moves.

That seems like something intentionally poorly written for the purposes of humor. I cried when I realized it wasn't.

>>1334631

Even if his writing is as bad, or worse than, yours, that simply makes two terrible authors. I'd gladly post what I've written, but alas, I prefer to do things the old fashioned way: with paper.

>>1334631
You're not Adramelech, fuck off.

>>1334643

Yes I am. In any case, that's completely irrelevant to anything else I said. You're still publishing the work of others for public ridicule - the challenge stands. Walk the walk.

All I'm asking you is to show me your moves.

>>1334649
I have written some terrible shit in my time, that is true.

But you couldn't have taken anything from this. You could have laughed at your bad mistakes and moved on. I'm not criticising YOU as an author - I acknowledge that you were just starting out when you wrote this - I wanted to post this topic because I wanted to make some people laugh.
Besides, most of the shitty stuff I've written is fanfiction, and there are rules against putting up fanfiction on /lit/.

If you're the only person rallying for me to put up all of my work on the internet, I will not do so. Everyone else seems to be satisfied with what was tracked down from my blog.

>>1334631
Have you actually read what you've written? This is horrible. Deeply woeful. There is no technique, no example of competence. Read the first sentence. It's confused, overlong, complicated, ineloquent. "I wasn't really trying" is not an excuse. If you weren't really trying how did you get so far? The fact of the matter is, you WERE trying. You're STILL trying. Is this the worst thing I've ever read? I can't remember reading anything worse.

>>1333704
>Lesogenias
>Enc
Did anyone else rage silently at these names?

>>1334665
Oh, it gets far, far worse.

>>1334631
I'd also like to point out that since Adra wanted me to proof-read this, obviously he did want to make something of it.

Go write something faggots. And if you're so good at criticism write reviews for your local paper or whatever.

i dunno i kinda liked it

>>1334682
This

>>1334683
dont "this" me

>>1333681
>As Leo and Enc make it out of the woods, literally,

LOL

>>1334685
ThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThis
ThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThis
ThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThis
ThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThis
ThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThis
ThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThis
ThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThis

>>1334689
oh you are asking for it paco

>>1334692
....................................................................................................
....................................................................................................
..this

>>1333694
>Leo started to run in circles as he started to have a breakdown. After he decided to calm down, he accidently tripped, and to his luck, he broke a piece of the wall which proved that the wall was weak. Enc had an idea and got the hatstand from the corner and rammed into the wall, braking the wall with a big bang which made the other prisoners jump up in startle.

this is one of the best stories i have ever read!!!!! lolololol

I think I'm gonna be the nice guy here and encourage we do a few things;

1) find out the site this was posted on - go from there and track this guy down

2) Email/mail/facebook him hard criticism of the story

3) find out if he has anything new, weather it has improved, ect. Simply saying 'this is awful' will not help him. Even though the story is terrible, this guy was passionate enough to write 4+ pages.

I dunno. If this was my story, that's what I would want.

>>1333706
>"I'm over here guys, feeling a little lost, are we?" Emmy said in a cocky voice and in a cocky attitude

hahaha shit I am loving this, thanks OP, my anus was not and could never be prepared.

>>1334702
I know the guy, I have him on MSN.

He didn't post this on any site, he IM'd it to me so that I could proofread it.

>>1333712
>"Calm down Le'shawn'ee, or do I have to tazer you again"

it never ends!

>"Well, there is, I will avenge his death, in any way I can" said Leo, taking a vow he wants to keep until the time of his own death.

um...he killed the guy himself

Lines of constant dialogue annoys the fuck out of me sometimes

>>1333727
>Enc and the Parasitican appeared in front of a gigantic building that resembled the look of Dracula's Castle from history.

I am so sad that this story was never finished. Please encourage this author to finish for maximum lulz.

I rather liked it. It was a very well written story about intelligent characters who had very unique plot lines that served to frame an overarching theme or event.

The rest of you people are just hating it because you're haters.

>>1334733
Pretty sure he's given up on it, if he's not pissed that I posted it up here.

There was an anon above pretending to be him though.

>>1333750
A vampire named... Legs?!

there's no feeling in this. writing should always have a
well executed style imo and this has none at all.

>>1333752
I'm sorry I keep quoting this shit but come on:

>the door was in the shape of a skull and crossbones which proved it was dangerous, they pushed the door and entered at their own risk.

>>1334752
>this is a day worthy of deja vu

...Well this is just rofl.

you know what?
archive.

>>1334389
mfw i remember that x-files episode!

>Later on, the wife went into labour and they could not be happier, but something goes very wrong.

Changes from past tense to present. What?

We've all laughed at the numerous errors, but I offer a challenge: find a paragraph without a single error or hilarious phrase.

>>1334840
He does this numerous times.

>>1334845
Impossible.

>>Enc threw Leo his favourite gun and went into a pose
>>went into a pose

... and Enc instantly became Disco Stu.

>>1334007
Check the definition of eloquence. That sentence doesn't fit.

Why has this not been archived yet?

Archive Goddamnit!

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 4 times now.

>>1334971
>>1334970
archivemind

I can't wait until we start getting dramatic readings of this.

>"We are in Lazeria, the borderline village that intersects with both cities, if you ask me, I think we should get a hotel and rest our heads for a moment or two" said Enc
"I suppose you're right" Leo said.

What? Okay, so you go for a walk for like ten seconds and your in the woods, then an old man in a white suit helps you then you walk for a couple of sentences. You agree to get a hotel.

Dude?! You house is like 15 minutes away!

>"Before you were born, there was a lot of rough times hanging on to history bound, and your mother was slain in a terrible attack, which my heart and enhanced my hatred for the Parasitic."

What is this? I don't even..

>>1334985

Chapter 4
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vgEPmcYeVLeU094Pf

come on /lit/, let us hear your readings of this masterpiece

>>1335040
Slow down, mate.

>>1335040
I am in tears man

Did the OP ever share a link to the full file? I would like to see how some of author and editor friends respond to this.

>>1335040
You, sir, are a legend.

>>1335056
What I posted is all I have. The tale was never completed.

Given that chapter 4 is so short I did the rest of it...

http://vocaroo.com/?media=vGMkETuJPLr27Fnrq

Needs other anons' voices next. Also I need a better mic :/

whats with the zeropunctuation-schtick?

>>1335068
oh yeah so I guess now every fast-talking british person is yahtzee. shut the fuck up

>>1335040
>>1335066
My god, this is amazing.

>>1335068

Well I can't very well read much slower, in today's fast-paced society, people get bored quickly. Gotta keep up the pace.

>>1335074
it's true, I barely even listened to a few seconds of it as it is

>>1333760
>mfw "feux paux"

>>1335085
I didn't even notice that.

Fuck, this thread is still going?

>>1335066
Is this anon still around? Can we get more of this?

This is honestly the worst thing I have ever read.

Fuck you, OP.

For everyone asking for the file, stop being so lazy:
http://pastebin.com/dmJeryk3

>"So, haven't you thought of a name yet?" asked the wife
"Not yet. But don’t worry. When I find one, you won’t be able to refuse."
>She dies right after

Well I guess he was right LOL

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 6 times now.

>>1335355
>the wife
>the wife
>the wife

Even after we know what her name is, she's still 'the wife'. And everyone else is '...said Le'shawn'ee' and '...said Legs' for all eternity.

Who the fuck thought that Le'Shawn'ee would be a good name for a MALE angel anyway?
Or anyone, for that matter?

>"Well, I'm not sure on where we are going from here on, as far as I know, we are just walking around in full circles, but still, what do I know about travelling?" Enc said

wat

>>1335307
I'd like to point out that the part that says 'asked Leo [adjective]' was a mistake on my part, where I wanted the author to put in an adjective to describe how the character is speaking.

The original text just says 'said Leo' instead.

lol

>She's in that house over there" said Jyni, pointing to a strange house on the hill in the background. It carried the stereotype of danger, which made Pagzagana and Emmy worry if it was a trap.
>In it's presence, they stopped and looked the house, up to down. It was a black painted house with at least 4 floors of height. It had the look of a haunted mansion. In the doorway, there was a doorbell with red around the edges of the button.

ha ha ha ha