/lit/ - Literature

Give me your age, the title of your novel, and your email address. I am prepared to be abused by the author of a (decently written) published novel, and double prepared to buy one to support you. I will read it, and if I like it, email you in order to show you how impressed I am.

With my body.

what novel did you get published OP?
though i doubt you actually did :(

Tell me the title of your book. and the publisher

Publisher name please. Self-publishing doesn't count.

>>1367801
How dare you sage my thread? How dare you, sir?

>>1367805
HarperCollins

>>1367806
I don't think you understand how sage works.

>>1367806
Why did you ignore my post, offering you gorgeous sexual favours if I like your book?

>>1367810
You just done it again!

What the fuck?

How do I ban this cunt from my thread?

inb4 ctrl w, I've tried that doesn't work.

>>1367812

My preparedness to rape you is in no way influenced by your opinion of my book, neither is your opinion relevant to any other inclination I may or may not have nor relevant or important in any other imaginable sphere.

>>1367814

Is you for real?

>>1367808
Ahhh, nvm, chances I'll like it just dropped 30%.

>>1367817
So your book is shit then?

>>1367822
No! It's quite good! It took me ages to write and is about a squirrel.

>>1367824
Oh well, in that case you're probably lying but I'd let you raep me anyway due to the beauty of your sentence.

>>1367824

Go to /co/ and tell them your tale. Wait for a femanon to make the mistaken assumption that you wrote about Squirrel Girl (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squirrel_girl)) and offer you sexual favors in gratitude. SUCCESS

>>1367848
What's /co/? I realise, of course, that I could simply have clicked on the link above; but I prefer my information drip-fed to me by peons.

>>1367865

Comics and Cartoons. One of the more civilized boards of 4chan.

>>1367848
Will Murray's about 60.

Can you please post the name of your book so I may check it out?

In return, here's some Queer Film you should check out.

>>1367890
No, that would be silly.

I'm going for dinner now in any case.

I'm having Heinz Lentil Soup- it's only 189 calories per full tin. So I'm having two: along with 8 slices of wholemeal bread (only 55 calories per slice), it fills me up.

It's a tasty, nutritious meal and comes with a total of only 818 calories. I know this may sound like a lot for a single meal but it's all I'll eat today (aside from a single apple)- thus yielding a calorie deficit of some 1700kcal; more than 0.5lbs of fat.

Additionally, I'll take an Alli tablet with it whch will further increase the calorie deficit. One must always be careful, taking Alli, to ensure adequate intake of fat-soluble vitamins; a multivitamin before bedtime is a must. It (Alli) also has other potential side-effects, including incontinence, and I have indeed shat myself slightly, one or twice, in the last couple of months. Still, I've also lost around 35lbs too!

>>1367912


wat

if thats the quality of your writings then troll

>>1367938

this

you sound like a hack, OP

>>1367912
Wasn't made up, it's true.

>>1367912

>implying 818 calories per day, is a small amount. If you want to continue to lose weight, get your calorie intake closer to 500, and up the physical exercise. I personally recommend a modified version of the 'Christian Bale' approach - do an hour of cardio each morning, then have an apple, an orange, one cup of coffee, and a few glasses of water, over the course of the day.

Simples.