/lit/ - Literature

>>14059666
I feel totally trapped in the marketplace. I’m in my late twenties and graduated from University a few years ago with a “safe” degree that I had absolutely no interest in. I studied it because it was obvious it was a “safe” field and I was discouraged from my real interests. I did get a “good” job and now I live in a comfy town with no crime, poverty, drugs, etc., but I’ve now had to face what I’ve always known and that’s the fact that I just have no interest in this rat race careerist drivel, no interest in money-making, no interest in the bourgeois mundaneness of it all. These people are in constant pursuit of social events, dollars, thing to buy, watch, eat beyond their needs and I’m just not. For some, it is in their nature and I respect their need to live out their nature, but it is not mine and yet, I must live it out as well. I do not want for material things. I have no need for extensive socializing or romantic fantasy. Decadence and luxury for the sake of decadence and luxury repulse me. I appreciate struggle, aceticism, distance, and art. All else is just so unimportant and every fiber in my body cries out to me from sunrise to sunset that I’m not made for this. There are a few areas elsewhere where it seems important for me to participate, but I feel barred either by my track record or my age. It’s like I’m serving a sentence for a crime in a past life in a prison where I’m forced to live as just another fly in the marketplace.

I walk on white tufts
Through the Blue Kingdom Delight
With toes bare of wool

Can’t stop thinking
Can’t stop thinking
Can’t stop thinking
Can’t stop thinking
Can’t stop thinking
Can’t stop thinking
about her

Out of all the places in the world
God placed the most beautiful girl
in the place where I would see her

I haven’t seen her in some time
but now she lives within my mind
a never ending stream of painful love

A thousand ways to live my life
In one of them is she my wife?
If there are steps to take, I do not yet see them

I can only pray to God above
to help me with this love of love
but should I pray to have her or to be content without?

I am a sick man. I am a wicked man. An unattractive man. I think my liver hurts. However, I don’t know a fig about my sickness, and am not sure what it is that hurts me. I am not being treated and never have been, though I respect medicine and doctors. What’s more, I am also superstitious in the extreme; well, at least enough to respect medicine. (I’m sufficiently educated not to be superstitious, but I am.) No, sir, I refuse to be treated out of wickedness.

>>14060224
Water that doesn't flow becomes poisonous. And it's not your lifestyle itself that's poison and neither is it your mental constitution, because barriers are natural. Rather your latent desire for your life to be YOUR will is not being acted upon and is growing into more than just discomfort.
I could be wrong though, but whenever I let myself get trapped in views that are not conducive to what I see as a wholesome life I get this sensation: becoming dull, passive, weak.

>>14060436
Don't know why this sounds so cringe now.
Was fine in my head

’Tis a point I long to know,
Oft it causes anxious thought;
Do I love the Lord, or no?
Am I His, or am I not?

white women

>>14060470
I thought it was pretty good actually.

>>14060351
You're shit - autumn whiff -
Squish squash squish squash squish: my fists
Pounding your shitface

>>14059666
we couldn't have been nicer to each other
i wish ww could
i wish there was something to lament
but things are exactly as they should be
the only way they could have
how awful

>>14060482
finally, a poem on this board that isn't about some dumb broad.

i was just thinking about being dead in a ditch. i think i would find comfort before i past. maybe id be shot a few times and bleeding out, but thered be something comfortable about the cold wet ditch. the dry midwestern stinging cold, that wouldn't bother me. i hope my father and my grandfather would appear in their younger selves to carry me to the afterlife. we are more brothers than fathers and sons.
i m at a weird state in my life. im going to lose my virginity by next monday, if the girl stops bleeding. i wrote in one of these threads a few weeks ago about my ex girlfriend, i got dumped. i only miss her when im down. when im not i punch the air in happiness cause i won. i came out on top with that relationship, i just needed someone to get the ball rolling, she's created a monster. im trying to get a life, so far its been easy, its all there but i haven't grasped it. im doing well, i hope u r too, /lit/

>>14060859
>. im going to lose my virginity by next monday
don't do it you coomer

>>14059666
I'm in a physics degree and I can't stand the problem solving. I love learning the laws themselves, but when it comes to solving the problems it just feels pointless. I got a prescription for stimulants solely because of these exercises. I know they're good practice, but I irrationally hate them.

>>14060894
u cant stop me u catholic wannabe. she wants it more than me.

>>14060938
>she wants it more than me.
so deep down you realize and accept that its wrong, and you're so weak and pathetic that you have to put the blame on her to absolve yourself in your own mind?

>>14060979
no i wanna do it. im not an athiest but im not gonna follow a man made law of morality. you reek of sour grapes

>>14061014
>sour grapes
oh the irony

>>14060224
Continue your lifestyle, FIRE before you hit 40, and then do whatever the fuck you want.

>>14061027
yeah, you're right. but at least im doing something whereas you are sitting in your moms basement you autistic fuck

>>14060929
If you can't solve these problems maybe you're in the wrong place, desu. I used to study mathematical logic and although I loved learning and dealing with different proof methods, when it came to metalogic my mind went blank and I got restless.

It's a free day for once and I have a car and go anywhere and do anything. But what's the point? I don't have anyone to do anything with. I just want to go back to bed and skip the next decade, things seem so hopeless right now. I've taken all the mirrors down in my house and can't stand the sight of my own face. There's so much work to do, you could never even make a dent in it.

>>14061058
It's not that I can't solve them, it's that I find them insanely dull and my mind wanders.
I love the subject and I don't want to switch out.

>>14061058
Perhaps it'll get better if I go into research and the methodolgy becomes more applied. It's the fact that these are only questions in a problem set that dissuade me. I know I need to practice though, so I just slam a concerta and listen to fast paced music and try to blast through. I know it's bad for me, but I probably won't graduate otherwise.

>>14061052
why the anger?

>>14060859
good luck, anon
>im doing well, i hope u r too, /lit/
not really
my discontent is rising to a boil, I hope it finally spills the fuck over

I finished my masters degree and got a good job with great pay right away but then I read this amazing book called The Rings of Saturn by the German writer W.G. Sebald, and now all I can think of is the eventual rot and decay of all things animate and not.

>>14060470
Don't sweat it, it's good writing.

>>14060859
>im doing well, i hope u r too, /lit/
unironically wholesome af.
>doing pretty good actually, thanks for asking.

inability to attempt anything of value

>>14061330
I am proud of you for getting a masters degree anon, I truly am.

I have a peasants body and am descended from peasants. I want to break out of this pattern but my family is dead set on preventing this. Sometimes I wish they were all dead so I could begin to live my *own* life instead of being just a cog in their machine. I love my family, but we do not have a culture of excellence. Half of them are alcoholics and the other half spend their whole lives waiting for the rapture. Neither of the two can ever plan for the future.

>>14061330
that's been on my readlist for a long while now.
I want to buy a fucking kobo, I don't have money but I will when I do, they don't sell them in my country unfortunately so I have to order online. I can't stand reading on a computer screen

>>14061379
Thank you, it means a lot.

It's not a very /lit/ degree though. It's a Master of Science - Supply Chain Management. But jobs for this are in high demand and the pay is quite good and I am quite good at it. I was actually hired before I even finished my thesis. First day at work was the day after I handed it in.

>>14061393
It's one of the greatest books I've ever read. It reads like a bleak eulogy for humanity, full of interesting observations and ideas. You should get a physical copy, as I'm not really sure how the photographs would work on an e-reader.

>>14061382
i have a warrior's body and i have no idea who i'm descended from. all i know about my paternal grandfather is his name, don't even now his wife's name. my father and i aren't close. we have a very noble surname though, so i take solace in that.

>>14061422
>I'm not really sure how the photographs would work on an e-reader
oh. probably not too well, I don't think the technology is quite there yet.
thanks for the tip, I found a pretty cheap paperback on bookdepository. I think I'm gonna read it soon.

>>14061545
If you care about acid free paper, get this one

https://www.bookdepository.com/Rings-Saturn-W-G-Sebald/9780811226158

If not, then yeah the one from Vintage is super cheap.

>>14061558
do I care? I don't know. I'm pretty broke so I'm probably getting the cheap one.

>>14061570
Acid free paper doesn't go yellow and brittle over time. Stays nice and creamy and white.

But if you are experiencing financial difficulties, then you should probably go with the one that is nearly three times cheaper. I hope you enjoy the book as much as I did and wish you all the best.

I'm a pathetic excuse for a man. I feel that the pressures of my family and friends around me are causing me to hate my life even more. I think the only way I can truly be independent is to move away to somewhere that I don't know anyone. The only problem is I have no employable skills that could provide me with a minimum wage. I also wouldn't mind going off to be a Catholic monk or something similar but I wouldn't even know where to start with that.

>>14061583
I see, had no idea. how did you know this edition was acid-free, is that listed somewhere and I'm missing it, or did you just know because you have it?
thanks very much, anon.

I have read more this month than most years, but, consequently, have written nothing and haven't seen my friends and I think I'm depressed again. It's getting too late, bros. I'm twenty-five and still unpublished. Or at least, my fiction is unpublished. My short stories have been rejected close to fifty times, but I always used to brush that off because the two novels I've been working on were my "real" project. Now whenever I open up either document to write or get out my plot/character notes I just stare at them. Sometimes, wavering, I'll edit a sentence I wrote more than a year, two years ago. Then I hate the new version. I've lost any confidence I have. The novels are rotting. My brain is rotting. The only time I feel comfortable is when I've gotten into bed and I can finally let my brain pour out to nothing.

Since about mid-September, I've read and would be happy to talk about:
PKD's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, Ubik, Valis, A Scanner Darkly, Man in the High Castle, Virginia Woolf's Orlando and The Waves, Helen DeWitt's Last Samurai, Ben Lerner's Hatred of Poetry, Leaving the Atocha Station, and 10:04, Heller's Catch-22, a bunch of Keats, some Byron and Shelly, half of Youcenar's Memoirs of Hadrian, and most of Celine's Journey to the End of Night.

I have also not spoken to any of my personal friends or family besides occasionally my girlfriend who is currently living in a different country.

>>14061613
All New Directions books are printed on acid free paper, as are all Everyman's Library and NYRB editions. Folio Society as well. This is usually stated on the copyright and information page that precedes the actual title and story text.

There is no official list anywhere of books that are printed on acid free paper and it is nearly impossible to tell unless checked in person before buying. Most mass market paperbacks are not. Usually a first edition if it was made after 1988 is printed in acid free paper as part of the Permanence of Paper Act. Most books printed in the UK are not on acid free paper. Germany and USA printed books have a higher chance of acid free paper.

https://www.nytimes.com/1989/03/08/nyregion/publishers-swear-off-acidic-paper.html

>>14059666
Why is the school master of the future a skeleton? Why does the skeleton have a bellows in its chest?

>>14061643
thanks again. wish you all the best too, have a good one

>>14061666
Cheers, Satan.

>>14061083
:^)

>>14061673
that's funny, I've been getting 666 an inordinate amount lately. I posted this thread, too. I've been getting it IRL as well, in queue numbers and that kind of thing. I've taken note
sometimes people even check 'em IRL

>>14060421
don't you mean spiteful?

I really wish I had something to smoke right now

I'm high on nutmeg and sippin' some orange juice while reading Rubem Fonseca. Life's pretty comfy right now.

I want women to die.

How does one drag oneself in front of a book?

I'm beginning to think that my best days are just other people's normal days, and that my normal days are other's worst days.

I asked somebody what I look like and they said I look like a low T œnions boy. It kind of surprised me because I thought I looked overly masculine

Noone really likes living in the midwest. It is boring and noone strives to "get here". Despite this, it tends to hold the warmest of people, and inspires community that loves and cares more than any other place I've lived

>>14062410
The only towns in the whole region worth living in are the college towns:
>Madison
>Rochester
>Duluth
>Ea Claire
>Twin Cities
>Winona
Everything else is an absolute shit hole, especially the more rust belt areas

>apply for a job
>they want to vett me
>they want a written transcript of my character and work history from all my previous bosses
>they want a million training certificates
>they want a police check, a drug test, a piss and cum test
>it's a job digging ditches for minimum wage
What even is this?

Friendly reminder that social media, including this site, is bad for you and you should cut them out of your life. Just walk away from the computer and do literally anything else. Don't use your phone except for calls, messaging, and music when you're on the go.
>yet you're posting in this thread
I have a browser plugin to allow my 10 minutes of 4chin time a day. I'm writing this while I wait for my coffee.

Use This Gospel is a masterpiece. Books will be written about this song and how it caused the next Great Awakening. Millions of zoomers will convert and Western Civilization is saved and literature by extension. That Harold Bloom did not live to see this day makes me cry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yQVcGkbpAc

>>14062630
Imagine having this little self-control.

>>14062654
sure thing buddy

>>14061765
it's a quote from Notes from the Underground

>>14062410
I visited a friend of mine in Illinois years ago, way out there. His dad has acres on acres of land, including an underground cave network that we went spelunking in. Then we chilled with his redneck uncle who lives in a metal house filled with animal heads and went offroading and shot some guns. It was comfy as hell.

>>14062811
is he cute?

>>14062811
Contrast this with living in the faggy city where you could do none of that and have no choice to pay for stuff in order to have any fun.

>>14062815
He's kinda cute. His younger brother is cuter and is like some kind of amazing mathematician to boot.

I will finish my uni studies in a few months, I don't worry about that. I will sit down to learn to draw after that though, and what I am worried about is that I'll give up on it before I can do anything I want with it.

>>14062826
>is like some kind of amazing mathematician to boot.
Did you ever say to him 'the only math I need is you+me=<3'?

>>14062865
Ha that would be cute but no. I'm not about snatching up my friend's kid bro

>>14059666
When I drink, typically on the weekend, I tend to have four or five pints. I often intersperse these drinks with pints of water, to lessen the mornings's mourning. When I drink at home, the story changes. My father - apparently - is a heavy drinker. He has four or five pints per day on the weekend. My mother, however, is not as taken with the drink. Therefore, much conflict arises over these opposing interests. They cannot seem to reconcile these differences. As a consequence, she dismisses any form of drinking that rises above two drinks. During the infrequent times when I return home to drink with my extended family, she projects her disagreement with my father on to me.

How do I deal with this?

I don't know why but i have some sort of obsession about flaying and impaling. Any famous historical figures who liked to flay their enelies kind of like Vlad is for impaling ?

One of the unexpected side effects of internet globalization is the market of second hand cultural consumption. What I mean by second hand cultural consumption is when someone consumes a piece of art through its description and analysis from a secondary source, such as a video or piece, and becomes part of the art's audience, without even experiencing it themselves. Because they have been given just enough information and told just enough how the art "should" be received, there is no quite stopping them from adopting the opinion, and leaving the art behind. I'm talking most specifically about YouTube analysis, but the movement extends from the highest levels of academia to most basic of snapchat stories. In the past, you watch the movie or else find scant reviews; now, with the internet's ease, there is a radical increase of media sharing, consumption, and analysis, coupled with the ease to share our thoughts. Riding on a new globalized culture, with reviews becoming integral to marketing, art has never been more tightly wound to its reception. Art is estranged from its innate value, and especially estranged from personal experiences, when it is so colored by predisposed opinion.

I'm going to start practicing magic I think. Now I don't really think magic exists, but I'll never know unless I try.

The question is what to do. I don't imagine I'll have luck altering reality to create a fireball, but it can't be a something so small it could be written up as luck.

I'm hungry
Also wish I was in the woods
whats up with these pseud walls, have sex

>>14063000
Seems likes a good excuse to drink

>>14062617
They only want to hire illegal immigrants do they can pay them less but it's very suspicious if a business never looks like they are hiring

So it turns out my sexuality is almost entirely autogynephile. Thought I was straight for the longest time, but I confused attraction for jealousy

wtf drinking alone is actually really fun why have i never done this before

>>14063289
welcome to the club. in moderation, anon.

The skills isn't the best but that whats make it good

>>14063248
I'd fuck you if you were cute

If I can get her, she’ll be the one I’ll be honest with.

>>14063377
I'm not very cute, come back in a couple of years and that might be different though

I just don't know anymore guys.

>>14062371
post pic and let me judge.

>>14063654

>>14063726
>overly masculine
let's be honest, you were exaggerating quite a lot.

>>14063726
The hair is not good

>>14063726
that thing you're wearing really doesn't help.

>>14063447
do you wanna hang out?

>>14063726
Drop the eyeliner and it's not so bad.

The single most beautiful girl I've ever seen is rending my fucking soul. When I first saw her it literally knocked the wind out of me and I stopped walking and just stood there to process how gorgeous she is. She's a devout Catholic and into literature. She wears conservative dresses and carries herself with elegance. She has the sweetest laugh and a smile that turns my mind blank and makes me feel like vomiting from emotion. My entire life I've been disinterested at best in other people and relationships, and this girl makes me want to skin myself alive and rip out my entrails. I'm filled with such immense overwhelming energy I can't sleep and I've thrown myself into lifting and running to beat the energy out of my body but it's absolutely endless. She could tell me to cut my fingers off and I would. Sometimes I have to yell to let the energy out of my body. I've never had an issue talking to women and yet I've said maybe 20 words to her ever because I feel like something is going to tear through my stomach anytime I have the chance to talk to her. Last night I dreamed I was cuddling with her and gazing at her face the entire time and when I woke up I felt like putting my head through a wall.

Why the fuck do I feel this way. I have a girlfriend already and I feel nothing for her now. At every waking second she consumes me completely. I think I would kill myself if I lost a chance with her. And because of the overwhelming paralysis she instills in me, this is almost certainly a self-fulfilling prophecy. She's shown me that throughout all of my relationships I've never felt love, and I can only foresee myself dying in the name of aesthetic perfection for her.

>>14063786
>Mishima
does she know that you're gay?

>>14063757
Maybe? I really have no idea what I look like. Maybe I'm just hyper conscious

>>14063778
Not wearing eyeliner

>>14063764
Yeah, I know. Thinking about buzzing it

Is it possible to outgrow your friends? I don't think that I enjoy hanging around mine anymore. Maybe I'm just the bad friend of the group.

>>14063726
how in the hell did you think you were masculine

>>14063786
Tell me, is that girl 7 years old?

I want to share an onahole with somebody.

>>14063867
Well, I'm not very feminine

>>14060224
This. I have hobbies but most of the time they come in and out like tides in my life, and there's large gaps of time where I just don't have anything to do or want to do anything.
It feels like I'm always in pursuit of something intangible and indescribable. It's like I'm in an infinite hallway and I know that I'll never reach the end but my options are to try or give up my mind to boredom.

>>14063934

>>14063934
>herbivore eyes
>silky smooth lesbian hair
>embarrassing twink body
shave your head, eat steak and hit the gym bro, it doesn't have to be like this

name one difference between consumption and creation

>>14059666

If I'm dead I won't be class conscious which is what my enemies want. So I won't kill myself no matter how bad my material conditions get unless the material conditions dictate my sanity...

>>14063874
are you thinking of me?

>>14064143
It happens, I always hope you'll get the help you need someday.

>>14059666
I've been wondering for a long time. Mostly existential wonders... why am I who I am? Why is everything the way it is? Is everything that everyone believes the truth? Is there a God; should I believe in it or not? Am I wrong? Is it possible that even thought I've taken right decisions my whole life, in fact I've been wrong this whole time and the only right answer is that nothing really matters and I should exploit this life to the most? What is wrong with the world? Is it going to end soon? I really wish I could see the end, or if there is no end, I'd really like to live forever.

By the way nice heretic check'em!

I find it really hard to express how artificial I find everything. Where do you find authenticity

This year has been torturous but at long last I feel alive. I long to pour my white hot emotion into my writings as fuel for my prose. Unfortunately, it's the peaks and valleys of a secret love shared with a married woman and I just want to write classical poems about Asgard and shit, God damn it.

I took every monday off for entire year to be flown around the US to kill people. All paid for by the organization. My first kill was on a small fishing boat on lake chabot where I strangled bald white man and stabbed his dog. I still think that dog.

I don't write or talk or express much. When I do it kind of just stumbles and bubbles out like I'm not even enough of a loser to be a good drunk. It all feels kind of bland sometimes. One minute I want to do nothing but lie down and think of blank walls and the next my thoughts are on fire and I need to create and run and scream and sing. Most of the time I just feel like kind of a ghost though. I don't even think anyone in the world even knows my name anymore.

>>14063874
nah don't worry she's 9

>>14059666
Twitter is garbage, this place too is decading fast.
I'm still gonna browse from time to time but there's hardly anything worth the deal

>>14064421
is this something you're writing or are you forreal

There is nothing I would like more right now than to be tickled.

the white weaboos who love japan even though they've never been there and don't understand it and can't explain why they love it are actually nostalgic for ancient greece. they want back the homogenous humid island-mountain world, polytheism, boundary between east and west

>>14064713
I suspect it's more to do with masturbating to suspiciously aged girls but I like your theory

I wish i'd have a luxury of knowing what im good at. Instead its confusion and guilt that i could be doing something better with my life but i dont know what it could be.

The racoon that's been coming and sleeping on my porch for a year just got ran over by a car and died. I set a camera up all year and would wake up in the morning and watch her activities. She always scrunched her nose and made funny faces and would carry stuff up to the porch with her. In Spring she brought two little babies with her for a while and they all slept on the rug I left outside them. She ate chicken from my hand a few times. And In the snow she would come with ice on her fur and warm up underneath the chairs outside. I remember how nervous she looked in thunderstorms and how she would sit on the porch and just look out at the scenery. And now she's laying in the road across the street dead, and I can see her from my window, and everytime a car drives by it lights her up and I can see her fluffy fur blowing around. I keep getting up and looking at my camera hoping to see her sleeping, and hoping it's a different raccoon that was hit, but she hasnt come tonight so it's most likely her. I had planned on her coming for a long time, I even bought the rug and bed especially for her, and it had little cartoon-raccoons embroidered on it. Now I won't be able to spend my mornings reviewing the footage of her and that was the only thing in the whole world made me look forward to mornings anymore. So I have that weird buzz you get when you lose someone, I've lost a ton of people but animals are always the fucking hardest. They always seem to go once you become most attached to them.

>>14062654
Damn, so this is what all the /mu/tard zoomers are obsessing about. What horrible garbage, why am I not surprised

>>14064750
Raccoons are the most precious, innocent beings I know of. When I lived for a short time in Texas, twice I shared beautiful moments with raccoons, and twice I buried bodies of those victim to humanity's careless progress. Both times I used a knife, given to me by someone I felt lucky to have been able to call a friend, to dig the graves. They are unmarked down there in the limestone creek, but I left behind my prayers and a few possessions dear to me. I think it might help you make peace to bury her anon. Pray for her beautiful soul.

The public school system is fucking shit. They focus more on grades than actually teaching. In my four years of high school struggling, I haven't learned jack shit. That's not always the case though (I picked up a few things every now and then). However, the teachers themselves don't do a good job at actually teaching. For instance, I decided to take a financial algebra class last year because I wanted to be prepared for adult life but what I actually got was my teacher encouraging cheating so we could pass. In my opinion the system is fucked. School shouldn't be about passing or failing. What happened to the learning factor of going to school?

head aching
fuck you head

>>14064794
punch it

>>14064713
the japanese are secretly really racist towards other nations. none of these weaboos could love in japan more than 2 years

>>14064803
>Japan is a bona-fide ethnostate
>Japanese are '''secretly''' racist
well ain't that a kick in the head

>>14064789
I'm glad you got to share beautiful moments with them anon thats what I should be focusing on is the moments I got to share with mine. I'm actually going to do that. I'm going to go pick her up and burry her in the canyon behind the houses where I used to always see her come walking from. I think I'll even wrap her in the rug and burry her with her bed and some chicken. Thank you man I needed that. I hope her babies made it on their own.

>>14064803
wait i meant "live" not "love"

>>14064792
All modern school systems are fucking shit.
They were created back in the early 1900's to create good factory workers. High school grades don't actually matter. You are not getting into any college the matters if you were not born into connections and money even with a 4.0 GPA(unless your black and in America).

Everyone cheats and you should learn to as well.
Right now it's just a big game of fucking over anyone that does not know the rules. You don't know shit, the teachers don't know shit, nobody learns anything, everybody cheats and everybody passes except for those retards actually trying to learn.

The teachers get paid, the colleges make money, and the retarded boomers are happy to hire you because you have a college degree.

>>14064799
i see weird colors now
what to do

>>14064822
relax & enjoy them

>>14060362
oneitis is a hell of a drug, more like a poison actually

>>14062798
I'm pretty sure the anon knows that, but the correct translation is universally spiteful, not wickedness -- although he may have some unique translation

>>14060515
>white women on your mind

welcome to the club anon

Never think about metaphysics. Cut it all out of your brain. You'll sound and live like a stoner if you don't. The greatest metaphysicians are disguised stoners. They dropped the "listen man" before they go on to explain their conception of the "invisible realm", and they dropped the "you dig it?" at the end. You'll look like a fool in the eyes of most people. Some will think that "your weird views" make you seem more interesting. That's just how I feel 'bout it, man.

I'm enjoying to read more and learn more now that I'm doing my masters. I swear, it feels like I learnt almost nothing doing my bachelor's. It felt like an extra highshool.

why am i such a nigger

My grandpa died this morning. I dont know what to feel

>>14064991
Were you close?

>>14060224
You should feel happy because you can achieve struggle, distance and the creation of art where you are now. Being educated and employable are only good things. Imagine if you actually wasted those years. If you still aren't making the art you want despite having the money and space to do so you're just being a lazy cunt.

>>14064983
aren't we all

>>14064993
Yes

>>14064991
Went through the same sort. Got the news my grandma died, felt empty immediately.

>>14059666
I am on the verge of telling a girl that I really connect with that I would've asked her out on a date if we were in the same city. I've been passively thinking about this for a while, but, lately, I feel it almost attempting to force itself out of me. I, however, am scared it'll harm the friendship that we have, given the logistics of anything more serious: she lives on the other side of the country and has never moved out of her hometown, so who knows if and when we'll be in physical contact. Plus she is a different ethinicity than I am, and I would want my children to speak my language and be connected to my culture, which I'm aware is a selfish desire, but it is still what I want. My mind is bogged, lads.

>he doesn't believe in God
>he doesn't even believe in the devil
No wonder...

>>14065145
If you think long and hard enough, you will find sufficient reasons not to ask her out. Put your brain in a shoebox for a day and do what needs to be done.

>>14064421
did you kill someone every monday of the year?

>>14064251
Hi anon, you will find authenticity in nature.

>>14064789
how does one dig a grave with a knife?
it doesn't seem like a very effective way to do it and it must be be really, really bad for the knife.

>>14064794
>>14064799
>>14064822
>>14064825
DISCO ELYSIUM

>>14065203
>Put your brain in a shoebox
What does that mean?

If I do ask her out, then what can possibly come of it, man? We live so far away from one another. I'm also not a kid anymore, anon. I'm 23; I don't want to make decisions without considering their impact anymore. I'd like to make something meaningful and not waste time.

>>14065233
anon is rightly implying that your brain is performing cock and ball torture on you and you should put it away, so to speak, when taking actions better borne of instinct

>>14065260
Anon, I may be a brainlet or just not be in the right state, but I have no idea what you're saying or how I'm supposed to interpret it

>>14065233
>What does that mean?
It means that, if you do love her, you should tell her. You should not think about consequences and act like a dashing scoundrel. You should imagine yourself as a 18th century gigolo, a sturmer and dranger, rapier in one hand, love poem in the other. You should put it all on one card and be content with watching it all burn to the ground. Or you dont do that. Fuck if I know. Atleast you would get it off of your chest.

>>14065264
think with your guts and your balls, your brain tells lies

>>14062654
Kinda average.

>>14065290
how do i know my guts aren't coming from a place of youthful excitement, foolishness, loneliness?

>>14065265
Based comment. Should just go back to raping and pillaging the helpless. Anyway, yeah, it is true that it would at least get off of my chest.

I appreciate your comments, lads. My soul feels stymied, and this helps.

>>14064403
>I long to pour my white hot emotion into my writings as fuel for my prose.
Are you going to cum into a notebook or something?

>>14064792
My teacher once told me that he focus the learning part on students that are worth of it and just make the other ones remember stuff in order to pass.

>>14063786
broke up with a girl when i was in a similar situation.
unironically my biggest regret

>>14063726
It's time to start lifting, my nigga.

>>14065224
[Endurance] : Head aching.
[Harry] : "Fuck you, head".
[Half-light] : PUNCH IT.
Red Check (hand/eye coordination) : Failure.
[Hand/eye coordination] : Aiming for your head, you punch yourself right in the left eye instead.
[Pain treshold] : Ouch.
[Perception] : You see weird colors now.
[Harry] : What to do?
[Conceptualization] : Relax and enjoy them.
[Shivers] : The stars in your mind sparkle like the myriad lights of Revachol seen from the harbor. Blowing from the west, a sudden glacial gust of wind brings back untouchable and forgotten memories of home, out of the Pale.
[Kim Kitsuragi] : "Officer, you just punched yourself in the head. *Again*".
[Empathy] : Under his stoic surface, Kim is genuinely worried about you.
[Drama] : He's being sarcastic, probably wants to undermine your authority to make himself look better. Lie to him.
[Esprit de corps] : Lieutenant Kitsuragi would never do something like that, he's a good cop who respects the hierarchy.
[Authority] : Remind him, just in case. Now.
[Harry] : "I am the law".

here's my theory on why normie memes are "cringe" and ones used on imageboards are "based".

> mascots and images popular on social media
usually screencaps from cartoons or movies, or even regular photos of people. they have grotesque facial expressions and fixed settings (background, context, etc). they rely on specificity so much they require captions.
> mascots and images popular on imageboards
most are drawn in paint. most also embody certain feelings abstractly but exactly. they rely on simplicity and relatability, and can be used without any caption.

I hate everything about me. How I look. How I sound. How I talk. How I think. My sense of humor. My desires. What I wouldn't give to be normal.

>>14065513
Sounds to me like you are very, painfully normal.

>>14065520
I wish.

>>14065513
Follow Christ. Live to love all beings. Your problems disappear. He takes your arm and holds you up. Everyone can attain this. There is no secret. There is no knowledge necessary. True believers can attest to this. What do they believe in? God? Do they know God exists? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you believe God doesn't exist. What matters is to follow Christ; not in thoughts, but in actions: to love yor neighbour and your enemy, to put your self away, to make space for everyone else. Imagine Christ at your side; imagine Christ as loving; try to beome like him. Your pain will instantly cease; your back will straighten; your mind will become pure again; you will think: "So this is beauty; now I know; and I want to be beautiful".

>>14065391
You're not wrong. But you also need to remember, 'normies' want memes to be accessible and easy. Hence we have had a decline in good memes for a long time. Even on 4chins, its tough to find something exactly new.

The sculptor and the soldier in the book were like dolls of him and Ruben. Their conversations, their aspirations - they all sounded too familiar. It dawned on Nero that this must have been what Ruben was going through. He thought of the sculptor, and now understood why the character has disturbed him so much. 'Ruben, is this really how you saw me? I was never this noble and beautiful.'

Nero paused from reading any further, haunted by the notion that his soft-spoken friend once might have wanted to choke him for gratification. No wonder the man has gone mad when he realized the depravity within himself, and ran to that church and chose celibacy for the sake of his friend.

When he first demanded Ruben to explain what was he thinking, why he was giving up his happiness for some unseen god, the latter did not make any sense. The man was unable to conjure up the words, for he must have not been able to comprehend it himself. Nero then pictured his friend laying alone against the altar rail, having lost both his companion and the chastity he suffered for. Tears welled up in his eyes. 'Only if I had, instead of demanding to know everything, have just trusted him and stood by him.'

>>14065047
Sorry

>>14064835
one of the only things I remember from my brother is him zoning out, then snapping back, looking at me and saying: "girls are poison."
he killed himself later that year.

Suck my piss lizard
Don't like you much anymore
Die faggot bitch whore

God fucking damn it, I hate niggers.
I don't even hate "niggers," as in, blacks, I just hate niggers; by that, meaning the state of mind of being a stupid fucking nigger.

I know the root of everything that's wrong with my life is my lack of passion and interest and I've never had the slightest clue of how to fix it.

>>14066094
Everyone does, even blacks

>>14066119
worse, you know the answer but you're too weak to act

>>14066227
No, that's not the case.

>>14065376
based and harrypilled

>>14063774
Where you at?

Duck vaginas are insane. Literally a corkscrew maze filled with false turns and dead ends

1. You want to keep your sentences short.
2. You don't want to take a dozen sentences to explain some thing.
Naturally you will zoom out a little; things will move quicker and be easier to understand; and you can add poetry for flavour.

I want to kill so god damn bad. I suppress the feeling but I think of it constantly. I just plain hate all humanity.

I am wondering why you want me to write what's on my mind. That is all I am wondering. A rare single thought moment. lol How often do you start a thread like this? More context is objectively superior. 2 sentence minimum or it's flawed. lol

Goddamn, humans are fucking ugly. I wish I was an androgynous angel

I think I might have an eating disorder.

I have no idea who I am anymore. The last few weeks I've had basically zero sex drive, very few erections, almost none actually. After a few weeks I forced myself to masterbate to see if I still could. No porn, no falling for a few weeks and I couldn't get hard to pictures of women. Switch over to femboys/twinks and it's over quick. My whole life I thought I was straight, I like women, maybe even too much. My attraction to them was just jealousy in retrospect. I'm not attracted to masculinity at all either. I'm not straight and I'm not gay, just AGP.

I'm 23 now and a kissless Schizoid virgin. My body is almost completely down masculinizing now and I'm hyper conscious of it even though people say I look like I'm low T, I feel like I have a hyper masculine body. Whenever I talk or even breathe, I mentally note how masculine it sounds. I have had to take down all the mirrors around me to keep from getting transfixed by all the masculine features of my face. Especially my facial hair and hairline. I can state at it for hours and work myself up into a suicidal mood. I'm not feminine at all and have no idea why I have the idea in my mind that I ought to be and am failing at life because of it. Is this what dysphoria is? I've greatly considered transitioning in the past but it seems like a bad idea. I have a very masculine body and voice, my parents would disown me and I'd probably end up homeless and unemployed. But.... If I could, I would. I hate looking like a man, and looking like my dad, but I wouldn't want to be a cis woman either and have to deal with periods and pregnancy and so on. Maybe I just want to be a femboy or something. Or it could just be anxiety about aging. Does anyone else relate to this? I've talked to some cishet men I know and you can just tell that what in feeling is a million miles away from their experience

in the summer I became infatuated with a woman who was traveling through my area, but who lives on the very far side of the earth. She's highly intelligent, poetic and romantic, a voracious reader. A little bit broken, but oh how she shone in spite of it, and she didn't even know. I became spellbound. After she went home I wrote to her, a bit too tenaciously perhaps, but allI really wanted was for her to want to meet me again some time (she travels a lot, she might be close by) and to get a chance to tell her how much I admired her. Her confidence was shot to hell, and I thought it could do her good. Ultimately I did get to say both those things, but after that she stopped replying. That was... maybe a month ago? Now today she wrote me and asked me for my adress. Apparently she has written me a letter. So she reached out to me, and she gave it a lot of time and effort (I assume). It will probably take at least 3 weeks for me to get the letter.

Right now I just wonder what to think and what our options are. After the spell was broken by time I started to wonder more and more if she is someone I could mary. I know she has a history of mental illness and so do I. Can we raise children together? She seems very loving in images of her with her sisters kids. Maybe we can, but I don't know her well enough. How broken is she? And just how crazy is this dream of mine given that I am firmly religious, and I would need her to convert (but she seems very interested). The deck is heavily stacked against us. I reached out to her first and now she reaches out to me. There's just a lot going through my mind, a lot of hope but also a lot of fear of making a bad decision and marrying a woman I shouldn't mary just because I'm desperate (even though my infatuation with her was very strong and pertained to her personality as much as her looks). I don't know if this is a good day or a day that just brings more heartache.

>>14067151
>and I would need her to convert
Stay the fuck away from her

>>14067162
the Qur'an is open to situations like this and simply orders that the person convert first. I could imagine a situation where she pretends to appease me. that is one of the disaster scenarios, and it would be very difficult to weed out.

>>14066863
Because I glow in the dark

>>14067193
*pretends to convert in order to appease me

Keeping it real getting high.

>>14067193
>the Qur'an

>>14067193
Remove Kebab

>>14067215
>>14067213
I thought people who strove for peace were holy to you?

>>14067257
What? Do we know each other?

I made three mistakes at work yesterday and I also make wrong calls when I take initiative to do things as they are not exactly clarified. Should I resign and let them find someone better than me? That seems like the logical course of action.

>>14067261
>Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

>>14067275
I don't recall ever saying that

tfw could have been born in a world with 2d girls but only have these pig disgusting 3d ones instead

>>14067275
>>14067257
Why would you think we are Christian? I'm sick of your death worshipping totalitarian ideology. Stay the fuck away from normal, healthy people until you've sorted yourself out

>>14067299
tell me then anon, what do you live for?

>>14067299
I don't understand it, but Muslims seem to have a strong conception of the West still being Christian in some meaningful sense. Like the mouthbreathing ISIS retards referring to Europe as "countries of the cross" or something along those lines

>>14067311
for memes, dreams and ice cream

>>14067311
The proliferation and deepening of consciousness. God's self rediscovery, of which we are the primary tool and perspective used

>>14067350
this is not good for you
>>14067357
this is not bad for you as long as you realize that God is greater. You are not the great gnostic who has seen behind the veil, Allahs reality can not be tied down. the supposedly enlightened easterners have this wrong. But as a practice of purifying your soul for His worship, sure.

>>14064840
Different Anon here, I just started NFU the other day and the translation I'm reading is also "wicked". It's a translation by Richard Pevear. Is this translation incorrect?

>>14067390
Cringe

>>14067461
just remember, when that day comes, that He is always willing to receive you. You might be ashamed for how you've treated Him, but He still loves you.

>>14067477
>Rapes a nine year old

>>14067538
what was aisha's fathers name?

>thread derailed by Mohammad al Mohammad

>>14067550
Does it fucking matter?

>>14067563
it matters a great deal. the Qur'an allows marriage after puberty. 9 is arguably earlier than that and it is reasonable to react. Aishas fathers name was Abu Bakr, and he was a very powerful player in Meccan politics. The marriage is political. No other of Muhammads (pbuh) wives were any kind of underage at all, and he had a number. A man with the nearest thing to absolute power on this earth showed no sign of an inclination towards children in his entire biography apart from Aisha, who's father is an important political player.

as far as I know it is true that Muhammad (pbuh) confirmed publically that the marriage had been consummated. But it is also true that he, as the head of his household, was the only person who had a right to speak on this matter, and that the marriage would have been anulled if it were not consummated. For him to be married to Aisha he had to declare the marriage consummated. And it was Gods will that the prophet (pbuh) should act as political leader, and with that comes political responsibilities.

>>14067597
As I said before, stay away from healthy people until you sort yourself out. Even if it's the local custom "consummating" a marriage with a prepubescent girl is evil and depraved behavior. Is that really the behavior of a just man?

>>14067616
you misunderstand: I don't believe it happened, but that it was a necessary political lie.

>>14067623
Then you aren't a Muslim lol. The Quran is the direct literal word of God, not open to interpretation. YOU FUCKING KAFFIR! Go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200

>>14067648
https://quran.com/109
the day is coming anon. I have nothing more to say

>>14067666
Cope

https://biblehub.com/john/12-40.htm

>>14067687
>being this confused
you just posted the heart of the Qur'an. This our congregation is truly one congregation, shattered by ambition and greed.

>>14067703
I thought that the apostles purposively misrepresented Isa's words? You aren't being very consistent desu

>>14067736
>>14067666
alright good luck with the memes anon

>>14059666
I've written now four posts for this stupid thread and I've deleted all of them before I sent them out into the nirvana that is /lit/, or, in general, literally everywhere else in our world. Despite my anonymity, I don't want to post, or say, what's troubling me, just because I fear the judgement of others.
I also think that is why I'll never become a writer. Or fulfill any of my petty dreams, I can't let go of that stupid social validation program our guy in the sky has set up for us. I tell myself, I don't need all of you, mh friends or my family, but return to them to annoy them with my little titbits of knowledge I just found out a year ago in the book about Medieval Iberia I picked up in the library, annoy them with my clingy personality and annoy them with my inability to see where social boundaries begin and end. I crave for intimacy, but I hate it so much for that is the point where I'm vulnerable, weak, maybe just plain the most stupid. I have no qualities, and I feel like a character Musil has come up with and scrapped because of his inferiority.
It's not that I'm an incel or suicidal, it's just... it's so hard being alive. Having to deal with the bullshit. Being forced to see your parents die, knowing that oftentimee you just abandoned them in their last years, being forced to work day after day, month after month, just to suffer the same fate from your children you've loved so much. That love some day is gone. That I will never see the future of mankind, the result of our collective physical and mental upbringings. I just feel alone in a world where everyone is, I try to reach out, but get abandoned just as I would if someone approached me and asked me about God and the world.
I just leave it as that and I hope it was enough venting, I wanted to conclude my thoughts in some way, but I guess that's beyond my abilities.

I wish I had the ability to commit to things, as it stands I can't even go more than a few weeks without shifting my focus from what I was doing before. Last week I was really focused on writing. Now I've changed back to studying mathematics. Last month I got very excited about traveling and seeing the world and took a two week trip. In a few weeks I may get enthusiastic about hiking or something, who knows.

I mean in a way it's nice to be excited about things all the time, but I'd really like to be able to accomplish *something* in a given area at some point in my life. As it stands I'm just aggressively mediocre.

I wish I could just take a load off and stop having all this serious stuff in my head. Most people just want to take it easy and mean no harm. They just want to get through life and we all want the same things, more or less. I don't why I always have this oppressive burden in mind as if I need to think through everything.

>>14059666
i'm 19 and want to live in a van and travel whilst experiencing life with a pet whilst pursuing my creative ambitions on a laptop. i want to do all of this to gain confidence and feel more engaged in the world like video games or literature make you feel. the issue is i don't really know what i'm looking for. but that's also the fun. i should write more about this to sort my thoughts.

>>14059666
No matter how much I think about trying to improve my current life, all I do is idle around and do nothing. I think the path I've taken in life was spontaneously chosen time and time again until my life spiraled way out line. All I have left is hopeless thoughts, silent cries for help and my deteriorating mental health.

>>14067151
>meet a woman once
>harass her over mail
>already thinking of having children with her
she's sending you a letter from her lawyer so you stop contacting her, that's why she needed your address.

>>14067948
for what it's worth I've had and have this exact problem. I bailed on a PhD in political philosophy because I woke up one morning and the passion simply wasn't there; I've discarded countless novels and stories as I'll return to the manuscript and find I don't want to write any more. What's helped has been routine and discipline. I've set aside two hours every day for my writing, at the expense of my other hobbies, and for nothing else but to make progress and actually accomplish something.

I got a morbid feeling while trying to fall asleep that tomorrow will be the last day of my life, and now I'm unable to fall asleep.

tfw no comfy witch home

I'm not going to have kids, this world is too cruel and harsh

Why do some people know what they want to do with their life and others dont have the luxury of knowing it? Seems like a cruel cosmic joke being alive and so mentally confused.

Anon, do you believe in objective truth? If you don't, how do you differentiate between reality and non-reality? Asking for myself

>>14064750
Sorry anon, I know how you feel. Hope her babies will visit with you in the future. Hang in there.

>>14068513
Imagine how dirty that place is.

I've been getting into smaller forums / image boards lately. They're all dead as fuck but when you do get a reply after three days it feels like it came from an actual person.

>>14065362
can you elaborate on this pls

Looks like they bagged Baghdadi. Convenient how they always seem to kill one of these big name terrorists when it is politically expedient. If I recall correctly Osama was killed at the tail end of an election cycle, and Baghdadi dies right when the US is looking weak by pulling out of Syria.

>>14059666
Anyone else feels like wellbutrin stunts their emotions? Like my mean emotion is +2, but the standard deviation was halved. If I miss a dose the melancholia and sadness returns and it’s kind of refreshing desu. Of course that would quickly spiral out of control until I’m not functional, so I’m content to remain an efficient machine who tends only to his most base desires

>>14069042
No, but there are some things so ingrained into the human psyche that they are functionally objective truths

i hate everythinthin gno one i siwht me everyone is agianst me i hate the world i am running scared it is all so terrible i am drinking blue drink there is no hope no chance of change i am curently falling at a million miles an hour i sma killing time it as all oer it ias all oer and doe i am dead already things are bad neer be gone good it's all to horrible to imageine its all too gone and forget n foreer to ever be done good. and basicallu this i sall of it:

Specificity of technical knowledge is endlessly monotonous and boring. If Newton saw the world from the shoulders of giants, we're riding on the back of the very titans with our eyes closed

I basically almost died again, some asshole coasted through a red light and I swerved out of the way missing him by about a foot, I was going full speed and hitting the gas, even at speed limit the car was twice my size and would have wrecked me. What the fuck.

>>14070441
america sounds like a scary place

>>14069042
Everyone does, some just like telling themselves otherwise.

The Lord Christ shall return.

>>14068419
Well, you better make the most of today then, anon.
You're probably not going to die. The funny thing is, though, if you kept thinking that every day, one of these days you'd be right.

>>14059666
The Internet scares the fuck out of me. So many things I’ve never seen, and never would want to. But I enjoy going where they might be, and learning about the environment.

I really wish a fucking bus would hit me. People could say "oh he had so much potential" and "if he had lived longer he could have accomplished so much" and I never have to look at another disappointed face again. I'd kill myself but then I'm culpable and everyone will hate me for killing me. Doesn't matter since I wouldn't be around anyways and the world stops existing when I do for all intents and purposes.

I feel as though modern society has been constructed with only utilitarianism in mind, a society bereft of ornaments and whimsy. So few people seem to realize that wealth takes more forms than just capital, and they forego all other modes of edification just to pursue more money. I hope we can eventually be free from the tyranny of the practical, and embrace beauty for beauty's sake.

>>14070524
I think about that a lot, it sucks. That when people die early everyone assumes they’d live up to everything expected of them. That they’d continue on their best possible trajectory. But, I also think to a certain extent the same goes for victims of suicide. Depending on how young they are when it happens.

>>14067450
Not incorrect, different
It's not necessarily a bad translation either

>>14070524
nothing dies when you do. you just don't remember how to live past your own death anymore

I’m at a point where I know for certain I’m probably going to off myself before I’m 40. I never felt like I ever belonged anywhere. My parents escaped a warzone as children to come to the US, only to neglect me and leave me with no support. I am spiritually abandoned. PTSD has made them single minded survivalists, appearing normal but never trusting anyone, and therefore never truly loving anyone; rats live as rats and breed rats, and as such I feel doomed to be one. If I died now there would be no evidence that I was ever here; perhaps, if I never existed, then my suffering never existed either.

My mind’s been wandering since PG&E shut off the power. No entertainment as avoidance. Once I had lofty dreams, but after I learned how low and broken I really started out, I don’t even know anymore. It’s painful when you realize your own dreams are just fantasies you use to cope with the fact that you’re poorly socialized and don’t have the fundamental tools to achieve them. So I fall into a position where I’m constantly crushing my own heart just to keep it from disappointment. I’ve become the warden of my own prison.

I decided that the next decade will be the one where I leave something behind, even if it’s something that will never live up to my perfectionist standards. And if I fail, no harm done. I was never supposed to make it anyway. I’ll slip out quietly.

As a start, I deleted all the porn off my phone. All some hundred plus gigs of it, and all the pictures too. I am just going to stop cold, and only jerk off when I really need to. Then I’m going to toss the useless shit out of my place. Then I’m going to fast on and off for the next several weeks because I’ve bloated up over the last year in a downward spiral.

Hope you guys are having a good go of it.

Think positive!

>>14063289
>>14063318
What is fun about it? I always thought alcohol was only useful as social lubricant. Drinking alone seems besides the point.

>>14067978
>i'm 19
stopped reading right there

>>14070973
>he's *insert (You)r age here*
dismissed

>>14070971
Gives you a dopamine hit and disassociates you a little, appealing if you're depressed.

I'm sorry for a delay in my reponse, it's hard to put into words what i want to say, especially for you to understand it. I am also way too sleep deprived at the moment to form my thoughts the way i have it in my head but ill try my best.
You already know that i have depression, i really need to work on my mental stability, i so badly need to feel contentedness from within again. Being with you was/is not healthy for me, and it is not easy cutting ties with someone who i am still deeply in love with.
It has to get worse before it gets any better though, i need to work on my problems by myself. I need to tackle them head on instead of distracting myself as a temporary solution.
I feel like i hit rock bottom every single day of my life and being your 'girlfriend' further plunges me into the dark depths, you aren't a very good person for emotional support either.

'i can only want the best for you' is a stupid generic and mildly infuriating aphorism but i dont think you are good for me right now, you make me happy in a lot of ways but my feelings have only progressed towards bitterness and resentment. I have tirelessly communicated this through multiple mediums and methods.

I truly tried putting in all the effort i could to save this relationship but they have all been failed attempts. I was left feeling like there was no other choice but to break up with you.

Despite how dearly i wanted to make it work, I do not think we are meant to be together. There is not much at all making me believe we would last in the long term.

I need more self respect in looking out for my own needs.

Perhaps i am just trading in my sadness for an equally painful emptiness.

How can a broken heart heal if it is constantly wounded?

^now this is a rhetorical question
since you seem to lack ability in understanding what i say, i'll break down the concurrent rhetorical question and metaphor.
I am the one with the broken heart. You are the one constantly inflicting wounds (or least that's my perception).
A wound can only heal with time and space away from the cause of injury; the lacerations of my heart can only scab and heal by being away from you.
A wound can also be helped in the process of recovery with bandaids, creams, ointments, bandages etc. I like your cream but it's not effective.

When my heart is healed, I will be ready to love with no pain. I will able to give my love without unrealistic hopes or expectations. When my heart is fully functional, i will be able to correctly prioritise my relationships.

For now i must draw clear boundaries and stick to them.

>what's on your mind

what's on your mind

>>14059666
>>14059666
Cheat, the Venus flytraps of the modern world are full of jealousy, a trait they themselves find abhorrent, so easily they move from partner to fool, to knight, to villain, all in their mind is material worth and of what use the current fool is to them. The word cheat does not apply to the woman but is a chain tied around the males mind and enforced subconsciously til man will fight blood and brother for the useless word Cheat. To the woman, the word Cheat, implies the one who is cheated upon is inadequate, and instead of trying to form an unfinished product, she will instead throw away her current idol until she finds one that is perfect so that she need not waste any effort into bettering another human, but continue to wallop in self pleasure like a dog fellting itself.

>>14071090
In the male mind the word Cheat implies unfairness, men seek that all men should play the game of life with fairness, and yet the woman sees this word as a chain upon herself, for she wears a mask of animal blood and fur, so that her true form may only be known to a select few. She is a like a sly fox who embodies the word Cheat into her very essence.

>>14071095
The woman who is forged by hard word, virtue, truth, justice, is rare indeed. So corrupted is woman that her visage only exists within the utopian mind of men who craft an image so unlike woman, yet so strong an image, mans creation is mistaken for the real thing. Hence when man does obtain his desires he is eternally and invariably disappointed to find what he thought to be real, but illusions, smoke and mirrors, Stories to lighten the heart of other men to a hard and disastrous world.

This is part of a 10,000 word essay I wrote on the nature of the materialist, liberal woman

>>14071040
>>14071048
>post cringy reddit humor comment
>delete it
>post it again
yikes

My mom is cool
My mom is cool
My mom is cool and my mom will treat you right

i have started watching a fat black woman do hair and i have her on the background because she talks in a relaxing manner and music is comfy.
also, her costumers are usually qties and some haircuts come out very classical and neat https://youtu.be/dkPE6qeolHw

>>14071154
>tfw no fat black hairdresser gf

>>14071172
> be me
> grooming a horse
> listening to fat black hairdresser gf's videos
the lit lifestyle

>>14071191
by grooming do you mean seducing it in order to have sexual intercourse with it later?
also, stop phoneposting.

>>14071191
I'm very happy for you anon

>>14071198
нy и пoшёл знaчит нaхyй co cвoими мнoгoзнaчными глaгoлaми, aнглoтapд
>>14071199
thanks bruv

>>14059666
I am too fucking lazy to read more than 100 pages a day.

>>14071221
>>14071198
In america everything just has to be sexual.

>>14059666
I'm exhausted.

California is burning. It's insane that this state is on fire all the time. And it's not like it can ever me permanently fixed. It will continue to burn even when temporarily extinguished in the same way grass will continue to keep growing after it is mowed. Climate change will just add kindling. The fact that this state is burning to the ground and everyone proceeds as normal is another feat of American cognitive dissonance.

>>14071426
Get out of there, man. I grew up in California only to leave 5 years ago and it was frankly the best decision I made in my life.

>>14059666
I will probably transfer universities and go to my favourite country, this feeling of realization and innovation in my life is a blessing and makes me feel more hopeful than ever
Life is great, Anons, don't give up on your dreams

>>14071426
God's retribution for having to many gays at the same place.

I really hate sex. It's the killer of innocence, everything that was once pure and naive is subsumed by it and destroyed. Better to stay a child.

I wrote a letter to my cousin who I pushed away a few years ago and I didn’t send the letter. Shouldn’t have shut her out when she was so friendly and happy talking to me but I swatted her away like a fly. Done fucked up

I think she wants me to reach out but doesn’t want to do it herself because she doesn’t know how I’ll react.

Also I’m in love with a chick who recently did something really stupid related to alchohol (I’m not gonna elaborate) and I’m mad but I still like her and worry about her. She mad a bad decision but I don’t think she’s an irresponsible person

>>14071577
>I’m not gonna elaborate
elaborate

>>14071610
this.

>>14071577
Send it, anon. Send it.

What is the point of studying history? to know when and where who did what? as if that is what there was to it. A mind stuffed to the shallow brim with paper names - put a matchstick to it, boyo, who do you think you are? an ancient chinese imperator's counselor? The purpose of history is to breed men for war - oh, it is based after all.

if find that when getting involved with (or seeking to get involved with) a women my mind makes a switch from pursuing the long term to pursuing the immediate. even with the knowledge of the ancients its hard to direct my thoughts from 'vanities'. women live in the immediate, we men, in our dreams.

Read a motherfucking book.

>>14072262
No!

To dream is first to close your eyes
imagine
and then to be there

life hasnt been great reccently but im proud. proud of me. ive failed at almost everything but i've acted with total bravery and relentlessness. i know i can only control me and ive acted with complete courage even in the face of defeat. im so proud. id rather lose gallantly then never fight at all. and im never gonna stop.

Thinkin bout God again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmHRaBrE6KQ

BLAXTOROWICZ FUNEJARD, hallow's hell beholdeth unto me. If, forthwrite, mine balls seepeth over, this lifeblood shall be wasted. Uet, I am compelled, COMPELLED by my constitution. To writh, to writhe, Im folded over by waves.

>>14063054
based af

It feels like you could have success using a trend-following strategy with bitcoin because of how insane the upswings are: buy when it starts trending up, sell IMMEDIATELY at the soonest sign of trouble (at a discount to try to avoid liquidity issues). Might try this out with $100 or something.

>>14071577
Elaborate broski

>>14072665
you go boii

I keep thinking of this ridiculous song from Monty Python's Flying Circus. From the philosopher's skit:
"Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill

Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
And Hobbes was fond of his dram

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
"I drink, therefore I am."

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9SqQNgDrgg

>>14060414
This is pretty good, anon

Is there a way of knowing what you want to do with life asides bodily needs? Whenever i reflect on this topic, i get absolutely nothing like hitting wall in the dark. Perhaps a recommendation of a book on this topic?

>>14064591
yes this anon gets paid by silicon valley to strangle white dudes to death every Monday in real life

Uh-oh! Stinky!

Could someone give me a different perspective?
I have wanted to make comics for a while now. I know, comics are trash. I started off making trash and I was happy with the environment. Over time I got better taste, and I got to a point where I think there is no audience in comics for what I want to do.
All the movie, book, etc. authors I admire had a view of things that is similar to mine. They put great value on art as a means of expression, and have strong philosophical views about the content they make. It seems like all of this is gone from media in general and comics are the emptiest. Everything I see that isn't just schlock is about hot button stuff.
I want to make fiction, but I want to do it the way these people I admire did. Fiction can be meaningful, there has to be a way to restore a bit of that?
So, I have produced a few comic works that I left at the final draft stage. They would only need a polished redrawing to be 'finished' but to me, they're finished enough. I was going to publish one of these but I changed my mind because it would just end up as another letdown.
I've been reading books for the past few week instead.
People, simply put, don't give a shit. I just don't believe they do. It's of course my fault too if they're not interested specifically in my content, but it doesn't matter that much. Even if my prouction value were super high, it would just attract people because the art is good or something like that.
Otherwise I have no issue creating, I always have ideas despite being slow as hell in developing them. I feel empty though, because I'm not publishing anything.
I usually see this answer when I express this:
>If you don't do it for yourself, you weren't meant to do it in the first place
This seems preposterous to me. If you liked writing for the sake of mashing on a typewriter that would make sense, but if your intent is communication I can't see how it is possible not to want to get in touch with an audience. Someone HAS to give a shit, your work needs to reach out in some way. What is the point of making a movie if there is not a single person who's going to watch it?

Sometimes I believe I might have created this scenario entirely in my head. I detest social media marketing, the whole aspect of 'putting yourself out there' beyond simply putting out images.
I think my English is not good enough to write a book. What should I do? Do I just give up on getting things publihed or do I keep trying? Do I need a change of mindset? Having my work ignored makes me so bitter, but I can only be really productive when I feel rewarded. I know that if I keep leaving things at the final draft I will eventually be complacent with even less effort. I feel like this is the beginning of the end. How do I stay productive?

I want to pour out my heart but am afraid this thread will reach its limit.

I don't know why I get up from bed when I wake.

>>14074104
Maybe knowing the meaning behind it will make it even clearer. She is 9

I thought today I would finally talk to her. I decided to work on a Monday because I knew she’d be there too. I came in at 9:30 and a coworker who just returned from his honeymoon struck up a conversation with me. He went on about his trip to Sicily. She rounded the corner and made for the kitchen as he talked about how they don’t make chicken parmigiana there, only vegetable. I nodded politely and hoped he would stop. I leaned towards the kitchen and my soul pleaded for him to shut up, even mid-sentence. But he continued. When he finished she was done using the sink and was heading back to her office. I passed her on the way to my desk and I felt an expectant glance, as if we’d had an appointment at the sink and I’d missed it. But I mutely continued to my desk. I thought maybe she’d be back at lunch time, but she atypically didn’t stop by. I thought she’d likely leave around 5:30, so stuck by my desk so I could at least watch her go but she didn’t appear. I went to the bathroom and as I was washing my hands I heard a thud. The sound of the door leading to the elevator bank closing. I dried my hands and walked past the bank of elevators and looked through the glass door. She was there and our eyes met and I walked on.

>>14063054
I know what you mean and I hate it. It all ties into how people have become products themselves. Nobody sees themselves as an individual that is taking content in in order to grow, they seem themselves as products that need to sell, people are directing themselves outwards so it doesn't really matter if you actually take in culture, it only matters that you are updated enough so you have more chances to sell as a product since you have all the good hashtags. Like there's "gluten free" and "whole grains" on a box of food, "no BPA" on a plastic thing, same shit, "I am updated on latest media". People just want enough info so they can put it on their packaging.

>>14074616
wait for the next one.

>>14074808
FUUUUUUUUUUUUU why do I always post when it hits autosage

Goddamn, I hate having a male body. Why can't I just be a completely androgynous elfling. I hate
>Facial hair
>Adams apple
>Low voice
>Giant ribcage
>Hair loss
>Lack of Barr bodies (increased risk of genetic disease)
>Oily skin
>Brow ridge
>Expanded facial planes
>Giant skull
Et cetera

(Went on a horse wagon ride today, vv comfy)

>>14065346
maybe
what's it to you, motherfucker

sink to the bottom and never come up again. be dead and buried and forgotten. become graveyard

>>14074765
>It all ties into how people have become products themselves. Nobody sees themselves as an individual that is taking content in in order to grow, they seem themselves as products that need to sell
Sounds like something Byung Chul-han would say